Coming Undone
by natalayx
Summary: Abandoned by her mother, Bella isolates herself from everyone until the Cullen's move to Forks. Will Bella learn from her mother's mistakes when the Cullen's break down her defenses? or will her fears leave everyone Coming Undone?
1. Prologue & Abandonment

**Summary**: Abandoned by her mother, Bella isolates herself from everyone until the Cullen's move to Forks. Will Bella learn from her mother's mistakes when Edward, Alice and the rest of the Cullen's break down her defenses, or will her fears leave everyone coming undone?

**A/N: **This is my first and only story i have ever written. Apart from my one-shot _**'Home'. **_I've always wanted to write a story but i never had the confidence because i was completely shit at English. I've met some amazing friends through fanfiction and they inspired and encouraged me to write.**IBDamon, o_Oza, Jenndur, ocdmess** and **Ailisraevn.** This is thanks to you :)

This is a link to the Banner for this story.  
**- **http[semicolon]/**twitpic**[dot]com/38tivx/full

If you have Twitter, feel free to follow me at; **twitter**[dot]**com/Natalee_x**

**Disclaimer**: the characters in this story all belong to their respectful owner, Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended. After the story is completed, all Twilight references and character names will be changed and copyrighted. Copyright 2010 by natalee-x. This story may not be duplicated, copied, printed or otherwise reproduced in anyway, nor can it be re-posted on any other website without the expressed written authorization of the author. This story is rated M, and is not suitable for younger readers. Story contains violence, coarse language and sexual relations further into the story...

**Note: **[**Beta'ed by:** Jenndur ]

* * *

_**Prologue.**_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Have you ever had a life experience that changed your whole life and broke down your spirit? An experience that broke all the promises that were ever made to you, causing you to feel like you can't trust anyone anymore?

Something that only causes you hurt and pain on a day that used to be one of the most important and happy days of your life? Something that causes you to feel like, no matter what you do to keep the negative thoughts away it just doesn't work because every time you try to stay out of the darkness, you can't help but slip back under, making you useless and unworthy of anyone's time?

Yeah, something like that happened to me on Thursday, the 22nd of November the day of Thanksgiving. That was the day something caused my mother to abandon my father and I.

Thanksgiving is supposed to be a sacred day where the whole family gathers for a huge, beautiful meal, and each person says what they're thankful for. It isn't meant to be a day when someone who meant the whole world to you just ups and leaves after telling you they love you and will never leave you alone, no matter what happens, only to never contact you again. The feeling of abandonment shouldn't play into the Thanksgiving holiday at all. Unfortunately, it does for me.

Charles Haddon Spurgeon said that some people say, "'If I had a little more, I should be very satisfied.' But if you aren't content with what you have, you wouldn't be satisfied if it were doubled."

My mom obviously wasn't content with what she had in life, because she felt the need to leave us.

* * *

_**Chapter One - **(abandonment)_

"Bella, come on baby. You're going to be late for your dance recital."

I groan at the mention of my dance recital; most seven year olds would be happy to dance in a tutu in front of a whole crowed of people. But not me, especially since I'm a klutz and can't even dance.

"I don't want to go. I can't dance; I'll ruin the whole thing, and everyone will laugh at me like they do in practice." I hear my mum climb the stairs and walk into my room approaching the cupboard I'm hiding in.

"Bella, honey, don't be ridiculous. You're a beautiful dancer." She crouches down in front of me and places a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"You have to say that — you're my mom." She smiles sadly at me and wipes away a tear that I didn't notice falling. I turn my head away from her, but she cups my face in her hands and places it back towards her.

"I don't have to say any such thing. But do you honestly not want to go sweetie? I thought you liked dancing." My face automatically screws up at that thought and I shake my head.

"I did it for you; I wanted you to be proud of me." She then pulls me into a hug and I relax into her embrace.

"Oh baby, you don't have to do something you don't want to do just for me. I'll be proud of you no matter what you choose to do." I feel her plant a kiss on my head and I pull away with a smile on my face.

"Really? You won't be mad?" She smiles back at me and taps me on the nose as she begins to stand up.

"Yes, really. I'll go call your teacher and tell her you can't make it. Then we can go on a picnic— just you and me." As she begins to walk out of my room.

I jump up and start racing to get ready for the picnic. I love going on picnics with my mom. We do it at least once a week; it's like our own special thing.

As I descend the stairs, I see the front door opening and I immediately run to my father, and embrace him in a hug as he walks inside. He sees me just in time and crouches down, lifting me up into his arms as he smiles down at me.

"Hey kiddo. Why aren't you dressed for your dance concert?" I look down and start fiddling with my hands.

"Mummy said I didn't have to go. I don't like dancing; I always fall over." I hear his chest vibrating as he begins to laugh.

"Looks like you take after your father in that department princess, but I'm glad you stuck to it for a while, even though you didn't like it."

He plants a kiss on my cheek and puts me down, but keeps a hold of my hand and walks into the kitchen. He picks me up and places me on the bench before he walks over to my mother, planting a kiss on her cheek as he wraps his arms around her waist whilst she's on the phone. I watch her lips form into a smile and as she hangs up the phone, she turns around in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck. And as she kisses him on the lips, she whispers,

"I love you."

* * *

_(5 years later…)_

Today is going to be the best day ever; Jessica and I have been waiting for this day for weeks! Today is the school fair, and it's going to be filled with cotton candy, rides, games, talent shows, a mini circus, and all these other amazing things. What more could two twelve year old best friends want to do together?

Jessica's been my best friend since she moved to Forks, Washington when we were eight years old. No one really bothered to talk to her, or even acknowledge her, except for me. I don't really know why; she's a really good friend. Yeah, she talks nonstop and faster than someone on steroids, but that's what I love about her— she's so full of life and always so happy. She never lets anything bring her down.

"Bella, what are you doing? Hurry up we're going to be late!" I grab my jacket and handbag, and walk out of my room.

"Jessica, would you please calm down? I'm coming now."

As I descend the stairs, I see Jessica at the bottom with her hands on her hips, scowling at me with an impatient look on her face. When I get to her side, I quirk my eyebrow at her, and I begin to see her lips forming into a smile. Before I know it, she's laughing.

"I swear, Jess, you are _so_ impatient. Why are you getting your knickers in a twist for? We still have like half an hour until the fair even starts." She looks at me with an apologetic look on her face and I can see the excitement glimmering in her eyes.

"I know. I just don't want to miss _anything_; we've been waiting for this day for _weeks_, Bella." I roll my eyes at her and walk into the kitchen to get a bowl of coco pops.

"Another twenty minutes won't kill you, Jess. Mom and dad aren't back yet, and I'm not leaving this house without food in my stomach. You know how grouchy I get when I don't eat breakfast." Jessica sighs and plunks herself down on the stool across from me.

"Fine. And I guess nobody needs a grouchy Bella to bring down everybody's mood today of all days." I narrow my eyes at her whilst eating my cereal, and she starts giggling.

"Hey, I'm impatient when I'm excited for something, and you're a grouch when you don't eat. Nothing to be ashamed of."

The things that filter through that girl's brain and then out of her mouth are so insane, yet so true sometimes. And I can't help but laugh with her now.

"Where are your mom and dad anyway? They are going to be back in time to pick us up, right?" Wow, she really is keen to get to this fair.

"Yes, Jess. They'll be home in a few minutes; they just went to the station to get some gas."

Just as I finish saying this, I hear my mom and dad enter the house. I hear Dad walking up the stairs whilst Mom walks into the living room. Jessica practically sprints out of the kitchen.

"Hey, Mrs. Swan!" As I approach the living room, I hear my mom chuckle and then see her bending down to kiss Jessica on the cheek.

"Hey honey, a bit excited for the fair, are we?" Jessica's grin becomes wider at the mention of the fair, and I lean back against the wall.

"More like a lot excited. She's been chewing my ear off to hurry up all morning." Jessica scowls at me, and I just laugh at her as my mom walks over to me, planting a kiss on my head.

"Be nice or you won't get any cotton candy at the fair." Jessica begins to laugh, but as my mom smiles down at me, I can tell that she's only joking— something she always does with me. Dad descends the stairs, chuckling.

"Are you girls ready to go? Bells, have you eaten? We all know how grouchy you can get if you don't eat breakfast." His statement causes Jessica to begin laughing harder, and both of my parents look at her with an amused expression on their face.

"That's exactly what she said to me when I was telling her to hurry up!"

I storm off into my room and get my bag, then walk out to the car. Jessica stays quiet the whole way to the fair, which I was not expecting at all.

"Jess, are you alright? You're being like, _really _quiet." She looks at me hesitantly with a confused look on her face.

"Aren't you mad at me?" Now I was the one with the confused look on their face.

"I'm not mad at you. Why would you think I was?" She stays quiet for a few seconds and I look at her expectantly, waiting for her reply.

"I thought you were mad at me for laughing at what your dad said, because you stormed off to get your bag." I sigh and reach over, taking her hand.

"I wasn't mad at you, Jess, I was annoyed at Dad and I was getting my bag." I squeeze her hand and smile at her to reassure her. She smiles back and the excitement returns to her eyes.

"What do you want to do at the fair first?" I think about her question and look over at her with as much excitement in my eyes as hers.

"Whatever my best friend wants to do first." Jessica's grin becomes impossibly wider and she begins bouncing in her seat.

"Let's go on the Ferris wheel! Do you remember the first time we both went on a Ferris wheel together, Bella? It was when we were 10 and you were_so _scared at first, but we ended up having the best time on it."

My lips automatically form a smile at the memory.

"The Ferris wheel it is then."

* * *

_(One year later...)_

"Is there anything I can do to help, Mom?"

I always help mom with Thanksgiving dinner the night before Thanksgiving Day; it's like another one of our special traditions. Jess started to come over and help as well, but she couldn't this year — she was going away for Thanksgiving.

Mom turns her head towards me and gives me a smile, but it doesn't look genuine like it normally does.

"What I'll do without you, Bella, I have no idea."

I look at her with a confused expression on my face; I don't know why she's talking like this. It's not like I was going anywhere. I wasn't even in senior year yet; I still have at least three more years to go until that happens. But still, there is something in her eyes that scares me in that moment. Like I only have a small amount of time with her left. I hope she's alright and isn't sick or anything. I don't know what I would ever do without my mom. She's my whole world — she's my best friend.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mom." She turns away from me and I swear I see her wipe at her eyes.

"Mom, why are you crying? Is everything alright?" She turns back around and walks over to me, embracing me in a tight hug.

"I love you so much baby, please never doubt that. Always remember that you're my little girl, no matter what. I'll never leave you; I'll always be around you."

I pull away from her with a horrified expression on my face and I could feel my eyes stinging and the tears forming.

"Mom, you're scaring me. Why are you talking like this?" She sighs, walking away from me and begins prepping the turkey again.

"It's nothing sweetie, I'm just being silly. You don't have to be scared — everything is fine."

Relief rushes through me, but something still feels off.

"Can you please peal the vegetables for me? And get your dad another beer; he's working so hard out there, trying to make everything perfect." And again, I swear I see her wipe at her eyes and hear a sob this time.

"Yeah, of course."

* * *

I groan and swipe my hand at the pulsating alarm that is blaring in my ears at eight thirty in the morning. I crawl out of bed and drag myself to the bathroom, and try to wake myself up with a shower. It's Thanksgiving and I still can't shake off the feeling that something seriously wrong is bugging my mom.

After I have a shower and get dressed, I go downstairs to get some breakfast expecting to see mom working away on the Thanksgiving dinner, but she isn't there. Hmm, maybe she's just gone to the store to get something.

After breakfast I lounge around and watch TV for a while. Time flies and before I know it, it's three o'clock in the afternoon. It isn't like Mom not to be working on the dinner this late. I go to call Jess, but realize she isn't home. So I settle for the station to ask Dad if he knows where she is.

"Forks Police Station, Constable Phil speaking." That's odd, Dad always answers the phones first.

"Um, hey Phil, it's Bella."

"Oh hey, Bella, is everything all right?" I roll my eyes at his typical actions of cutting me off when I'm speaking.

"Yeah I just wanted to talk to Dad. Is he there?" Phil goes silent for longer than I would like. "Phil? Are you there?"

"Oh yeah, uh, well your dad didn't come in this morning. I just figured he was staying home for Thanksgiving." I sigh and rub my temples, trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

"Well Mom isn't home and she isn't answering her cell phone; and Dad isn't home either so I have no idea where they are. It's really _not _like Mom to leave Thanksgiving dinner to the last minute." I hear him shuffling through papers and typing on the computer until he finally speaks.

"Alright, well I'll give your dad a call through the speakers in the cars and see where he is—" I stop listening to what Phil is saying as I hear a car pull up, and I see that it's my dad.

"Oh, Phil, never mind. He just turned up now, thanks anyway. Bye." I hang up before he can say anything else, and Dad rushes through the front door.

"Bella!" I can hear his ragged breathing and the worry in his voice from the kitchen.

"I'm in the kitchen. Where have you been? I've been freaking out. And where's Mom? She isn't answering her phone and she wasn't working on dinner when I woke up and—"

The horrified look on his face cuts me off and I stare into his eyes. I see that he's been crying — He _never _cries.

"What is it? Is it mom? What happened? Is she alright?" He just stares at me, not saying a word which makes me freak out even more.

"Dad what is it you're freaking me out!" I start to cry and that seems to snap him out of his stupor. He rushes over to me and pulls me into his arms before I hear a sob escape his chest.

"Bells, your mom, she never came to bed last night. So I went downstairs and I found a note from her." He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to me.

_Dear Charlie.  
_  
_I'm so sorry for doing this. But i just can't do it anymore.  
Please tell Bella i love her and she means everything to me, and that i'm sorry for leaving her._  
_But it's the only thing i could think of to keep yous safe and happy..._  
_please forgive me. I love you._

_-Renee_

"I can't find her, and I can't get in contact with her. I don't have any idea where she is or where she' would go — I don't know why she left. I can't find her, princess, she's just gone." I wrap my arms around him and hold onto him tightly, holding my tears back.

"Something's happened to make her leave — she wasn't herself yesterday; she kept saying stuff to me like she doesn't know what she'll do without me and that to never doubt that she loves me, that I'll always be her little girl no matter what happens. She was crying. I asked her what was wrong, but she said she was fine and was just being silly; I didn't know what to do." Dad abruptly pulled away from me and began to glare at me.

"You knew there was something troubling her and you didn't tell me? I could have talked to her and stopped her from running off! Jesus Christ, Bella, do you ever think? And how could you not realize that she was hinting that she was going to leave? If you came and told me, she would probably still be here!"

I flinch at his words and can't hold back the tears any longer — he's never spoken to me like that before. He keeps glaring at me with an emotion in his eyes that I've never seen before. I run up to my room and I don't resurface for the rest of the night.

And he never comes up to check on me or to apologize.

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**Yes. The letter is important. Thanks for reading and please review!**

**-Nat xo**


	2. Isolation

_**Chapter Two**__ - (Isolation)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

It's my sixteenth birthday. Yay, me… not.

My birthday has become one of the worst days of my life. It brings back too many memories of my past and how happy my family and I used to be. Yeah, that's all turned to shit now. It's been three years since my mom took off on me and Charlie.

As I have a shower, I can't help but seethe about the past. I still don't understand why she decided to up and leave; I called her everyday but she never answered. She eventually disconnected her number, which I'll admit, hurt almost as much when it sunk into my brain that she was never coming back. I often wonder if it was even hard for her to walk away from us at all or if it was as easy as breathing. Does she miss us or is she relieved to be gone of us? I miss her every day, but that doesn't mean I'm not pissed off with her. She's my mother — she wasn't meant to abandon me. She was meant to be there for my first day of high school. She was meant to be here on my 'sweet sixteen,' to go shopping for Prom dresses with me, and she was meant to be at my graduation. But she won't be. And I doubt my 'father' will even bother to turn up at my graduation.

You see, not long after Mom left, Charlie began to resent and blame me for her leaving. At first, I just thought he needed someone to blame because he was hurting, but he never stopped blaming me. He never stopped being cold and heartless towards me. I don't really blame him though; it probably was my fault that she left. I should have told Charlie what Mom said to me the day before Thanksgiving. Or it could have just been me. Maybe Mom was just fed up with me.

My phone begins to ring, and I know who it is. She calls at the same time every year to wish me a happy birthday. I don't know how many times I have to tell her it's _not _a happy birthday.

"Hey Jess, what's up?" I continue to get ready, trying to put my dark blue jeans on with one hand.

"Hey Bells!" She is _way _too chipper in the mornings. "It's your birthday, that's what's up! Happy birthday!" I sighed into the phone and put my long sleeved green shirt on with my black tank top over the top.

"It's hardly necessary to wish me a happy birthday, Jess; you know I don't celebrate it anymore." This time I hear her sigh into the phone.

"Really, Bella? You're still doing this? It's your sixteenth! You _have _to celebrate it — it's like some kind of birthday rule or something. Don't you remember our conversation when we were ten?" I laugh at the memory. We had said we were going to have a huge party for our sixteenth birthday and everyone in town would be talking about them for years. "C'mon, Bella, don't be so difficult. Please, please, pleeeease? You can't not celebrate your_sixteenth _birthday!"

I groan at her and roll my eyes. "Fine. But it's just you and me, all right? No one else." She starts squealing and I have to pull the phone away from my ear otherwise I'll most likely lose my hearing.

"Trust me, Bella, you won't regret this." I highly doubt it, but I don't tell her that's what I'm thinking. Jessica has a tendency to be a little over the top.

"You better make sure I don't." She laughs at me, and doesn't realize I'm a hundred percent serious.

"Don't even worry about it. I've gotta go now, but I'll see you tonight — be ready at eight." I sit down on my bed and put my head in my hands. I really hate this day.

I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth, gazing at myself in the mirror. I haven't changed that much over the years — I've filled out a bit more, my skin has become clearer, and my hair has become a bit longer and darker but that's about it. Okay, so maybe I have changed.

As I walk down the stairs, I pray to all that's holy in the world that Charlie has already left for work. But I obviously get no such luck. There he is in the kitchen, reading the newspaper and drinking his coffee.

I ignore him and go straight to the cupboard to get my coco pops before going the long way to the fridge to get the milk so as to avoid him. I sit down across from him and eat my cereal quietly. He coughs, grunts, and fidgets in his chair — obviously a sign of being uncomfortable in my presence.

"So, sixteen, eh? Got any plans?" He may be talking directly to me for once, but he's still detached with no emotion in his voice at all. I sigh and slouch back into my seat.

"Not really. Jess and I are just going out for dinner or something. I wasn't going to go out, because I hate celebrating my birthday, but Jess twisted my arm." I look over at to him to gauge his reaction and he's as still as a statue.

"Hmpf, you used to love celebrating your birthday." He looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow at me.

"That was before my mother decided to disappear off the face of the earth without saying goodbye." There was a fiery rage in his narrowed eyes, and I know he's about to blow up at me once again.

"Your mother wouldn't have fucking left if it wasn't for _you_,so you only have yourself to blame for _that_. And if you weren't such an imbecile and came to me with what she said to you then she would still be here, and your birthday _wouldn't _be shit." He stands up abruptly, pushing his chair back into the wall in the process, grabbing his keys off the bench and storming out of the house. A few seconds later, I hear him speeding off down the street. Stupid damn law enforcement — they don't even follow the rules.

I clean up the dishes, going upstairs to clean the bathroom and grab the washing, you would think that he would be grateful for all the work I do around this house since mom left — I took on all the tasks that she used to do. But no, I get no praise. Maybe he just thinks she's still here and is the one doing all the work. The crazy asshole wouldn't surprise me.

* * *

I decide to go to the store to get something for dinner. As I pull up to the parking lot, I notice a black Mercedes that I have _never _in my life seen before. There must be some newbie's in town. As I hop out of my truck and begin to walk inside, I slip on some ice and fall straight on my ass.

"_Shit! _Ahhh, stupid damn ice; making me even clumsier than I already am." I go to get up, but I only just fall straight back down. I sit there feeling defeated. Could my birthday get any worse?

"Uh, are you okay?" That voice has to belong to an angel. I look up, and yep, he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Captivating green eyes and gorgeous disheveled bronze hair. Yeah Bella, I bet you look real cool just gawking at this random guy.

"Oh, um, yeah. I'm just, you know, chillin' on the ground." He laughs and I blush scarlet. Can I be any more of a loser?

"Cool. Sounds like fun. You wanna like, chill standing up or something?" This time I'm the one laughing — at least he has a sense of humor.

"Sure, why not." He places his hand right in front of my face and I take it. As he pulls me to my feet, this electricity runs up my arm causing me to flinch away from him which almost causes me to fall over again. But he grabs a hold of me just in time, looking at me in an odd way. I look away from him and put some distance between us, brushing off the wet gravel that stuck to my hands.

"I'm Edward Cullen. I'm new in town." He looks me in the eyes and I get lost in them. His lips form into an odd but very attractive crooked smile that makes my breath catch. Wow, that was weird.

"So you're the newbie with the Mercedes?" His smirk turns into a full blown grin and he shakes his head as he walks over towards the car before leaning up against it. He waves his hand towards him(,) gesturing me to follow after him, so I do.

"This is my Uncle's car. My car's a silver S60 R Volvo." He seems to be very proud of that fact. Boys and their damn toys. "And speaking of my Uncle, here he comes now." I spin around in the direction where he was looking, and see a tall blonde haired, blue eyed man walking towards us with a warm, genuine smile on his face.

"Making friends already, are we?" Edward groans at his Uncle and gives him a pointed look as if to say 'shut the hell up'.

"Yeah, this is uh, um." I realize in that moment that I never told him my name, and start to laugh under my breath. He looks at me and quirks his eyebrow at me.

"What, you don't even know her name? That's not very nice, Edward." He smirks at his Nephew and I figure that it's my fault that Edward doesn't know my name, and should probably put him out of his misery and introduce myself.

"I actually didn't get the chance to introduce myself to him, Sir. My name's Bella." He extends his hand out to me, I hesitate but I take it anyway.

"Nice to meet you, Bella. And please, it's completely unnecessary to call me Sir, Dr. Cullen or Carlisle is just fine, dear." He smiles at me again and I give him a smile back. I take a look at my watch and realize I've been here for nearly half an hour. I need to get the food, like now.

"I'm sorry but I need to get going. It was nice meeting you Dr. Cullen, See ya, Edward." Edward's smile falls slightly and if I'm correct, he looks a bit disappointed.

"Wait. So do you like, go to Forks High or something?" He asked me. My nose automatically screwed up at the mention of that hell hole of a school.

"Unfortunately," I reply. His smile comes back onto his face, and I begin to walk away but hear him call out.

"Maybe I'll see you there then." I turn back around, quirking an eyebrow at him, and he just stays standing there, smiling at me.

"Maybe." I turn my back on him and walk into the store. I figure that because I'm going out with Jess tonight that I might as well just cook something simple for Charlie. Not that he would even care anyway.

* * *

"Mmm, this smells great, Nae." Says Charlie as he walks through the front door.

Yeah, the crazy thinks she's still here. As soon as he walks into the kitchen, his face falls and he glares at me.

"Yeah, pretty sure _I_ cooked it and not _her _considering she isn't here anymore!" And with that, I practically throw his plate at him, storm up to my room and collapse onto my bed. Way to ruin my good mood Charlie.

My phone begins to ring, and I don't have to second guess as to who it is. I feel bad for doing what I'm about to do, but I'm just not in the mood to go out anymore.

"Hey, Jess. Look, I don't think I'm going to come out tonight—" I get cut off by Jessica screaming in my hear.

"What? You have to come out; I booked a restaurant and everything!" I can hear her seething from here.

"I don't feel well and I'm just not in the mental state to be going out. I'm really sorry." The other end of the line stays silent for a while before she finally sighs and speaks.

"Fine, Bella, whatever. You know, since I'm your best friend and have been putting up with your bullshit for ages, I thought you would at least just suck it up and humor me for one goddamn night. But I guess even that's too much to ask for." My jaw drops open in shock; she's never spoken to me like that, ever. The line goes dead.

Another awesome birthday for me.

* * *

Jessica has been constantly trying to call me, but all I ever seem to do is disappoint her or upset her. So I thought I might as well just stop talking to her all together; that way, I can't hurt her anymore like I keep doing. All I ever seem to do is be a selfish, whiny bitch that causes everyone else pain when all they try to do is make me happy.

Maybe I am the reason my mom left. Charlie has every right to blow up at me, abuse and blame me for her leaving. I mean, she was the love of his life and she just up and left without any explanation at all. Who does that?

I don't know why she would tell me that she loves me no matter what happens, but not say anything to him though. It could be what Charlie said to me — I'm an imbecile who can't read signals that people give me. Perhaps Mom wanted me to keep pushing her for questions on why she was acting the way she was. What if she _didn't_ want to leave?

But what do I know, right? I'm just useless and not worth anyone's time.

* * *

I have to go to the store again to pick up this week's groceries. This time I pull up around the back and park there instead of the front, not wanting to risk embarrassing myself in front of the whole of Forks again.

I walk around the corner and see Edward exiting the store with his head down, playing around on his phone. I turn around abruptly, practically sprinting back around the corner to avoid him. I've been putting off going to the store for this exact reason — I didn't want to run into him again. If I can't keep my friends that I've known since I was eight being disappointed in me, I highly doubt I won't disappointment some insanely attractive new kid.

Insanely attractive new kid. Really Bella? You've met him once, and he saw you fall straight on your ass!

He probably only felt sorry for me anyway; only being nice for the sake of seeing me be the typical klutz I am. Why would a beautiful, God-like male be interested in a loser like me, who's mother couldn't even handle being around her anymore?

The answer — he wouldn't.

* * *

**Note: **[**Beta'ed by:** Jenndur]

**Thankyou so much for reading, and giving me your support! it means the world to me!**

**-Natalee-x**


	3. Changes

_**Chapter Three - **__(Changes)_

* * *

_**EPOV**_

This town is so dead, boring, cold and isolated. Who in their right mind would _choose_ to move to this horrible place? My idiot uncle that's who.

Yeah, I live with my Uncle Carlisle and Aunty Esme with my cousins Emmett, Alice, Jasper and Rosalie.

My mom, Elizabeth Masen, passed away from a brain tumor when I was ten years old. She situated in her will that she wanted me to be taken in by her big brother, Carlisle, and his family if anything ever happened to her. We were always a tight knit family — I got along with Alice, Emmett and Jasper really well; Rosalie's always been a bitch though. But that's to be expected because of her past.

When I first moved to Chicago, I was surprised to see Jasper and Rosalie. I hadn't seen my family for nearly over a year, so I didn't have any knowledge of them adopting Jasper and Rosalie. They came from an abusive family— their dad used to constantly beat Jasper, and his best mate, Royce, began to repeatedly sexually assault Rosalie when she was eight. Their mom just let it happen. Rose is a tough cookie though; she began to fight back and one night ended up picking up her bedside lamp, hitting Royce over the head with it. She then repeatedly kicked him as she screamed for Jasper. Rosalie packed up her and Jasper's things and they caught a bus to a homeless shelter where Esme happened to work. She (Esme) contacted child services and they told her they would be placed in a foster home. Esme being the maternal amazing woman that she is, didn't want that for them and convinced Carlisle to adopt them. Little did they know a few years later, they would then have to take in me as well.

I never really knew much about my father— all I know is that I was named after him and he passed away when I was three. Carlisle has been great though. He hasn't forced the father role onto me, but he is the closest thing I've ever had to a father, even though he's my mother's brother. I remember him always being there when I was little and the whole family getting together; Emmett and Alice were more like my brother and sister than my cousins. That's why I asked Carlisle and Esme to adopt me when I was twelve. I wasn't dishonoring my mother and father; they'll always be my parents. It's not like I call Esme and Carlisle "mom and dad; I call them by their name, and introduce them as my aunt and uncle. I guess I just wanted to belong to a family on paper.

"Yo, Edward. Are you listening to me bro?" Emmett catches me off guard, and I don't realize that he was talking to me.

"Sorry, what?" He gives me an annoyed look and punches me in the arm. I wince at the pain. Strong motherfucker.

"Fuck Em, watch it asshole. What are you on, steroids?" he laughs at me and I quirk my eyebrow at him. I'm not even kidding.

"I was _just _saying that Alice, Jazz, Rose and I are gonna look around for a bit. You in?" I hear Rosalie groan in the backseat and I automatically laugh at her.

"Does he seriously have to come babe?" He's annoying as shit and he's been out of it all day. I swear, he's probably not even listening right now."

I spin around in my seat and glare at her. She glares right back and then rolls her eyes at me. I look over to Emmett and see the amused look on his face— He always gets a kick out of us two bickering. I swear, it's like a turn on for him, the sick fuck. Oh and did I mention that him and Rose are dating? Alice and Jasper as well, thank god they're all adopted.

"No thanks Em. I don't think I can handle being near this bitch for much longer."

I hear Carlisle sigh next to me and I look over at him to see that he's frowning. He turns his head towards me and looks me in the eyes.

"You know I don't like it when you talk about women like that Edward. It's disrespectful." I roll my eyes at him and slouch back into the seat.

"Well maybe if she didn't act like such a bitch, I wouldn't have to call her one." Rose starts chuckling; I feel her kick the back of my seat, and she begins to ruffle up my hair.

"You still love me, Eddie." My lips turn up into a smile, and I swipe her hand away.

"Unfortunately, you're finally right about something."

She whacks me on the back of my head, and Emmett bursts into laughter.

"Don't be a jerk to my girl; she'll fuck your shit up, man."

Everyone bursts into laughter at Emmett's comment, even Carlisle.

* * *

I cannot express how much I hate unloading boxes, carrying them up stairs, and then unpacking everything. Emmett is such an idiot, convincing everyone to go off and explore the dull town called Forks. I'm stuck here at our new home, helping Carlisle and Esme unpack.

After most of the things are unpacked, I collapse onto the couch and turn on the TV. Of course Emmett, the baboon, connected _that _up before he left. I sit and watch pointless advertisements because there's nothing on. I get annoyed and turn the TV off, closing my eyes and relaxing into the cushions. I can feel someone's presence in the room; I open my eyes to see Esme looking down at me with a content smile on her face.

"Hey, sleepy head. Carlisle wants to know if you want to head down to the store with him." I sigh, forcing myself to get up off of the couch and place a kiss on her cheek.

"Sure thing, Esme. Do you need anything?" She rests her palm on my cheek and shakes her head.

"No thanks, honey, I'm all set. I called in on the way over with Alice and Jasper." She walks away from me, heading up the stairs, most likely to set up her gigantic library of books.

I walk out to the car and lean against the door, waiting for Carlisle to come out. He finally blesses me with his presence and smiles down at me.

"You coming for a ride, son?" I shrug my shoulders, opening the car door.

"I might as well— there's nothing else to do in this god forsaken hell hole."

He shakes his head at me, laughing whilst getting into the driver's seat. He looks over to me before putting the car in the ignition.

"You'll get used to it, Edward. It's not that bad." I lean back into the seat and look out the window.

"I doubt anything in this town will be interesting or captivating."

Little did I know I was going to meet Bella that day. I saw her as I was waiting for Carlisle to get out of the store. She hopped out of her truck and slipped on a patch of ice. She attempted to stand up but fell straight back down again. I felt like an asshole but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She just stayed sitting there on the ground. I approached her and asked her if she was alright. She replied with a joke about just chilling on the ground. I helped her up and introduced myself. She had taken notice of Carlisle's car thinking it was mine. I walked over to it and leaned up against it and gestured for her to come over. I told her that it was my uncle's car and that I own a silver S60 R Volvo. She rolled her eyes and I smirked at her. Carlisle walked out of the store then and was being a smartass, saying I'm not very nice for not knowing her name. She then said it was her fault and introduced herself before saying she had to go. For some reason, I felt disappointed so I asked her if she went to Forks High. Her nose screwed up at the mention of the school and she said she unfortunately does. I smiled at her and said I might see her there and she agreed before walking into the store.

On the drive home, Carlisle has the biggest smirk on his face, and keeps glancing over at me as he shakes his head, laughing. It's really annoying.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you keep gawking at me for?" He doesn't answer straight away, but continues to laugh until he finally speaks.

"Still think this town is boring, dull and uninteresting? Nothing captivated your attention?"

That, smart ass. I should have known what he was playing at.

"Oh, ha-ha, Carlisle. You're so goddamn funny. If it makes you happy though, then yeah, I'm glad there's at least a girl like Bella in this town. She seems real and not at all fake and shit."

He looks at me with an incredulous look on his face, shaking his head at me again before looking back onto the road. If he wasn't such a good driver, I would have been shitting myself with the amount of times he takes his eyes off of the road.

"You got that all from one conversation? How do you know she's real and not fake?"

I sigh and lean back into the seat again. Typical Carlisle, always turning a casual conversation into a serious one.

"I could just tell. There was pain in her eyes— she's been through some shit, but I can tell she's strong. She doesn't paste on the makeup; she's a natural beauty. And she's funny."

My lips turn up into a smile at the thought of her.

"You think she's beautiful? You hardly know her, Edward. Do me a favor when you go back to school— don't be a creep towards her. Make sure you at least _try _and control the filter that flows from your brain to your mouth."

I laugh at his mini lecture and run my hands through my hair. As we pull up to the house, I see Emmett's jeep in the drive way.

"It's about time those assholes showed up. I swear, I'm not unpacking anymore shit— they can do the rest."

Carlisle chuckles beside me and hops out of the car, looking over to me.

"I guess I can back you up on that. You've done a fair amount of work today."

He continues to chuckle as he makes his way up to the stairs.

Thank god for that shit.

* * *

Rain. That's all it ever does here. Rain. That's going to be fun at school. Another thing I'm not exactly looking forward too. Well, apart from the fact that I may see Bella again. I haven't seen her since the grocery store; like she's just disappeared or something. She intrigues me, she isn't like any other girl I've met before; she doesn't pack on the make-up, she doesn't act fake, and she's real with real problems in her life. I could see it in her eyes— she's been through some tough shit— those beautiful captivating pools of chocolate brown eyes.

"Edward? _Edward?_ Hello is anyone home?"

Alice pulls me out of my thoughts of Bella, standing in front of me, waving her hands in my face before placing them on her hips before she raises her eyebrow at me.

"Sorry, what?" I ask her. Her frown deepens, rolling her eyes whilst sitting down next to me.

"Honestly, Edward, you haven't been paying attention to anything for weeks. What the hell has you so transfixed that you can't stop thinking about it?"

Unfortunately for me, Carlisle just happens to walk into the living room at that exact moment and stops in his tracks, beginning to chuckle to himself. I look over at him and see a smirk playing on his lips.

"Maybe it has something to do with a certain girl he met at the grocery store a few weeks ago."

I glare at him and he just shrugs his shoulders, walking away. Alice jumps up to her feet with a shocked expression on her face.

"Girl? _What _girl_? _Why haven't you told me about her?"

I sigh, slouching back further into the couch, hoping it will swallow me whole, saving me from her scolding.

"Because it hasn't come up, and it's none of your damn business anyway."

Alice's face falls, looking genuinely offended, and she starts fiddling with her hands, looking down at the ground.

"You always tell me everything, even the littlest unimportant things, but you won't tell me that you met a girl here? A girl that you obviously can't get off your mind? That's something you would definitely tell me."

I look up at her and see that her shoulders are rolled over in defeat. I grab a hold of her hands, pulling her back down onto the couch.

"I'm sorry, Ali, I didn't mean to upset you. We've been really busy unpacking and getting the house together, and you're always off with Jasper or Rose. It just kind of slipped my mind."

She winds her right arm around my left one, leaning into me and hugging it tightly.

"It's alright, Eddie. I shouldn't have gotten upset about it. So, what does she look like? What's her name? Does she go to Forks High? Do you think she'll talk to you again? Or is she one of those preppy snobby bitches who think they're better than everyone else?"

I look over at her incredulously; how someone so tiny can speak all of that in one breath is beyond me.

"Alice, take a breath will you? Her name is Bella, which fits her perfectly because she's beautiful. She has fairly pale skin, long chestnut coloured hair and chocolate brown eyes. She has a beautiful smile. Yes, she goes to Forks High. She seems pretty laid back, and she's quite funny. So no, she isn't a preppy snob. I think she's actually one of those girls who try to go unnoticed. Which is just stupid because she shouldn't go unnoticed."

Alice keeps gazing at me, the corner of her lips turning up into a full blown grin, and she starts to giggle. I raise my eyebrows at her, and she holds her index finger up to tell me to wait until she gets control of herself.

"You've met her once and that's how you feel about her? I can't wait to meet her; she sounds amazing. Do you think we'll become friends? She sounds like someone I could be friends with."

She gets up with a big smile plastered on her face. I roll my eyes at her and ruffle up her hair; she scowls at me, and then saunters off upstairs, leaving me to get lost in my thoughts of Bella again.

Yep, life is definitely going to be interesting in this town.

* * *

**thanks for reading! Reviews me me giddy inside :P **_**A huge thanks to my Beta and my amazing friend, Jenndur!**_

**-Natalee-x**


	4. Avoidance

_**Chapter Four**__ - (Avoidance)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

A new school year, new kids in town, self depression getting deeper— senior year is going to be just peachy for me.

Today is the first day of my senior year. I have to go to the head office and get my schedule to figure out what teachers I'll be having this year. Hopefully they're not too annoying.

I struggle to find something to wear; I'm not one for fashion at all lately, but I don't want to go to school looking like a total loser who's lost her marbles.

I find a pair of dark jeans and pull on a black long sleeved shirt with a dark blue flannel shirt over the top. I run my hands through my hair as I stare at myself in the mirror, looking at my outfit for the day. It'll do.

I turn to walk into the bathroom to do my hair. I have as much trouble with that as I did with my clothing, so I tie it up into a messy bun. I don't even bother putting any make-up on— I don't see the point in it.

I walk back into my room, grabbing my book bag and head down to the kitchen to get some breakfast. There isn't much in the cupboards; I avoided going to the store again, not wanting to run into Edward. Too bad I'll have to deal with seeing him at school now.

I finish eating and grab my keys, heading out the door to go to school. It's been raining again. I step into a puddle on the way to my truck. Awesome.

I drive to school slowly, because I can't afford to crash my truck as it's the only transportation I have to and from school.

I pull into the parking lot, groaning as I see there's hardly any places to park. I drive around until I find a spot next to a very fancy yellow porch; must be one of Edward's relatives. Man, they have some fancy cars.

I hop out of my truck, heading towards the office. As I walk inside, I immediately recognize the bronze hair that belongs to Edward, within a group of other students who are obviously his family. I keep my head down hoping he doesn't recognize me, waiting for them to finish. Thankfully, I get my wish and he doesn't see me. I walk up to the counter and Mrs. Cope hands me my schedule.

"Bella, my dear, how were your holidays? Are you excited for senior year?" I give her a polite smile, shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh, you know how it is with me, Mrs. Cope. They were as good as they could get. I'm excited about having one more year to deal with, then being free."

She gives me a sad smile, patting my hand that is resting on the desk.

"How are you holding up, sweetie? I mean what I said last year. If you need anything at all, just come and see me."

I remove my hand from the desk and begin to play with the hem of my shirt.

"Thanks, Mrs. Cope, but I'll be fine." I smile at her then walk out of the door, colliding with someone.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"

I look down, seeing that she's one of Edward's relatives that were in here earlier. She's short and slender with jet black hair, styled into little spikes. She looks up at me, giving me an apologetic smile.

"Don't worry about it. I'm used to being invisible."

I crouch down quickly, picking up my things before walking out of the office. I hear her running up behind me, beginning to walk by my side.

"You aren't invisible; I just wasn't watching where I was going. Hi, I'm Alice. I'm new here."

She extends her hand out to me with a massive grin on her face. I stare at her hand, looking like an ignorant bitch. I carefully place my hand in hers and shake it lightly.

"I'm Bella."

She slowly removes her hand from mine, hugging her books to her chest.

"So, I have English now with Mr. Berty. Do you know where that is?"

So, she's in the same English class as me. Great.

"Um, yeah. That's actually where I'm heading now."

I continue to walk to English, and she walks beside me, constantly talking about god only knows what. She talks way too fast, and she's extremely chipper for a tiny person.

"And that's when I ran into you. I'm _so _sorry about that by the way. I honestly need to watch where I'm going. I'm so small. I just run into everything."

We reach our English class. I hesitate outside of the door as she stands there watching me, she keeps smiling, freaking me out. I sigh as I turn my back on her, walking into the classroom and taking the seat in the back. Alice sits beside me and I look over to her as she gives me an apologetic smile, leaning back into her chair before she begins to whisper to me.

"I'm sorry if I'm annoying you, I just don't know anyone else yet. I don't want to sit by myself, in case I sit in someone else's chair. I hope you don't mind. I can sit somewhere else if you want?"

For the first time of meeting Alice, she looks wary and uncomfortable. Way to bring down a person's personality, Bella.

"No, it's alright. I don't mind."

I turn my head away from her, keeping my eyes to the front for the rest of the lesson.

English goes by in a blur; I completely forget that Alice has been sitting next to me for the whole lesson. As soon as the bell rings, I practically run out of the classroom, heading for the cafeteria.

* * *

As I'm lining up for lunch, I hear familiar laughter. Ahead of me are Jessica and Lauren. Lauren spots me, and whispers something to Jessica. She turns to look at me, giving me a filthy look before storming off to her regular seat.

I've not only lost my best friend and the place I used to sit for lunch, but gained an enemy at the same time. Cool.

I run my hand down my face, leaning into the side of the bench as I wait for the queue to move forward. Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around to see Alice with a bright smile on her face.

"Hey, Bella! I just wanted to invite you to sit with me and my family for lunch, because you were so nice to me earlier. Oh, and this is my cousin, Edward."

I stand there with a shocked expression on my face— it's her _first _day here and she's inviting somebody elsewho _already _goes to this school to sit with her for lunch? She really is a positive person. I didn't even notice Edward behind her until she mentioned him, and she looks at me as though she knows something about me.

"Alice…"

She gives him an annoyed look and places her hand on her hips.

"What, Edward? She was nice to me. Why can't I ask her to eat lunch with us?"

He narrows his eyes at her; he clearly doesn't want me to sit with them.

"Alice. You _know_ we've already met, so do you _have _to be so annoying and chipper on our first day? Maybe she has other friends she wants to sit with."

Oh, so he's told her about me? That explains that look on her face. He glances over at me, giving me a smile. I raise my eyebrow at him, causing his smile to fall. I decide not to get my lunch, and go find a table to myself.

I glance over at Alice's table a few times, catching Edward staring at me. He must think I'm insane for being so nice and care free the first time we meet only to giving him the cold shoulder. But it's only for his own good; it'll be better this way. Lunch goes by quickly, and I'm more than grateful when the bell signals that lunch is over.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. When I get home, I start the house work before beginning to cook dinner. By the time I'm finished, its 10pm. I have a shower and brush my teeth before collapsing onto my bed feeling exhausted, and falling asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Because I have the worst luck in the world, I walk into biology with all the seats being taken except the one next to Edward. I sigh, walking to the desk and sit as far away from him as possible. But that doesn't seem to phase him from talking to me.

"Hey, Bella."

I glance over at him, and he gives me a polite smile.

"Uh, hi…"

I look away from him, but I can still feel him looking at me; an awkward silence builds between us.

"So, I'm sorry about Alice. She's a little over the top. She already knows we met, so I don't know what her problem is. How was the rest of your shopping anyway? End up getting what you want?"

He's almost as bad as Alice when it comes to talking so much. I look down at the table, fidgeting with my sleeves because I can't stand him gazing into my eyes with such intensity.

"Uh, it's alright. Why are you asking me what I bought at the grocery store that day?"

He laughs lightly, folding his arms over his chest as he continues looking at me.

"Uh, I don't know. Small talk?"

I look away from him, taking my hair out to create a shield in front of my face. I hear him sigh. I take a quick peek at him. He's slouched back into his seat with a thoughtful look on his face. He looks over at me, catching me looking at him, and takes that as a chance to try and talk to me again.

"So, how do you like senior year so far?"

He looks at me expectantly, but I can't figure out if that's a serious question or not.

"Uh, is that a serious question?"

His expression turns into confusion, then amusement. I decide to answer him anyway.

"It's as good as it'll ever get, I guess."

I avoid looking over at him for the rest of the lesson. The bell rings. I begin to walk out of the classroom, but turn around just as I reach the doorway. He's still sitting in his seat, not moving. I clear my throat and he glances over at me.

"Uh, class is over."

He looks around as he gets out of his chair, and I turn on my heels, walking to gym class.

* * *

I hate gym. I'm the most uncoordinated person in the universe and they expect me to play sports like Volley ball? They've got to be insane. I walk into the locker room and spot Alice sitting on the bench. She looks up as I enter the room, a look of relief washing over her face as she practically jumps up off of the bench, running over to me.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to show up! Coach Clap assigned me to be your partner. I hope you don't mind."

She looks at me uncertainly, fidgeting with her hands and shuffling her feet around. I sigh, walking over to my locker to get changed into my sweat pants and polo shirt; I refuse to wear the shorts all the other chicks wear.

"I feel sorry for you more than anything. I have the worst coordination, so I'm the worst to be partnered with in team sports; I always end up hitting everyone in the head with a ball. I've asked Coach a million times not to let me play."

Alice cracks a smile as she walks over to me, placing her hand on my shoulder. I stiffen up at the contact; but she doesn't remove her hand. I wonder if this looks as awkward as it feels.

"Lucky for you, I'm a pro at Volley Ball"

She winks at me, and then skips out of the change rooms. Yes, she _skipped._ She really is a chipper person.

I walk out into the hall, getting in my position as Alice runs up to me.

"If you're seriously worried about playing, just stay back here and I'll handle the rest."

She smiles at me then turns away, running back down to the front.

For the rest of the lesson, Alice gets all the hits and handles the whole game like she said she would. I hardly have to move, which is a good thing. Maybe having Alice as my partner won't be so bad after all. When the game is over, Alice runs over to me with her hand in the air signaling for a high five. I slap her hand and her grin becomes impossibly larger.

"Great game, Bella!" she exclaims.

She's telling me we did a great game when she practically did all the work? Talk about team spirit. I laugh to myself as she spins around, running into the change rooms with me following after her. We change in silence, and just as I'm about to walk out the door, she catches up to me.

"So, do you want to sit with me and my family for lunch today?"

She gazes at me with a hopeful look on her face.

"Sorry, Alice. I'd just prefer to sit by myself."

She sighs, walking to the cafeteria silently. I feel horrible for turning her down. I grab an apple and bottle of water, then go and sit by myself. Again.

I feel someone watching me, and I slowly turn around to see Jessica standing in the middle of the cafeteria, staring at me with a longing expression on her face. As soon as Lauren walks over to her, her expression turns into a scowl and she walks off to sit with Lauren. I pick up my water and apple, walking out of the cafeteria. I go straight to my car and head home.

Why do I have to screw up everything?

* * *

Over the next few weeks, everything kept repeating over and over again. Becoming a routine, Alice walks to English with me, continuing to talk to me. I keep the conversations short, doing my best to avoid her. It's hard though, considering she doesn't leave me alone whenever we have a class together. Especially Gym, when she's so enthusiastic in it, always praising me for a 'good game' even when I do nothing at all. It makes me feel like a horrible person, which does not help my situation at all.

Edward also continues to try and talk to me during biology, or whenever he sees me. He constantly stares at me during lunch and class, willing me to acknowledge him or speak to him, but I just ignore it. I sneak peeks at him occasionally, when it gets to be too much. He sometimes catches me, and gives me a smile. But I just put my head down, trying to concentrate on my work.

It's starting to become fairly hard to ignore them now— they're always so nice to me. It feels like they're already my friends. It feels nice knowing I always have Alice walking to class with me, even when I hardly acknowledge her. Even Edward has began to act really kind towards me; he does things like pulling out my stool in biology, walking me to gym class and constantly trying to converse with me.

One day during lunch I was taken off guard when Alice and Edward sat down at my table. I looked up at them with a very clear confused expression on my face. The only thing Alice did was smile at me as she sat down. Edward hesitated a bit, but he eventually sat down as well.

"Hey, Bella! I thought instead of me asking you to sit with my family, I'd just get Edward and myself to sit with you!"

Edward glances at me, giving me an apologetic smile and mouthing the words 'sorry' to me— he obviously had no say in the matter.

"Uh, okay then." I respond.

Alice starts babbling about everything and nothing. All I can help doing is actually feel happy that they decided to sit with me. It's like they put me at ease for some reason, maybe it's because they haven't gave up on me yet? I'm too busy being trapped in my mind that I don't even notice Alice was speaking.

"He's amazing. He really is. I bet you would love Jasper. You should meet him one day. Oh and my brother, Emmett, he looks really scary and intimidating, but he's not like that at all. He's like a big teddy bear, and he's always cracking jokes; you would love him too."

I look at her stunned. How can she say so much, so fast, in one breath? Jessica never even used to talk that fast, and that's saying something. Edward begins to chuckle, and I look over at him.

"Do you _ever _breathe when you talk, Alice? You're like an alien or something. I've never seen anybody, so _tiny,_ able to talk that much with a short amount of breath."

Alice smacks him on the arm, poking her tongue out at him. I begin to laugh. Like, really laugh, until my eyes begin to water. I try to catch my breath, and I look up at Alice and see her staring at me with a goofy grin on her face, clearly satisfied with my reaction.

"Whatever, Edward. Anyway, Bella, you should meet Rosalie as well—"

Edward groans at her side, cutting Alice off. She glares at him, and he smirks at her.

"What?" I ask.

Edward runs his hands through his hair, shaking his head. Hmm, he looks good when he does that. Wait, what?

"Rosalie is a bitch. I highly doubt you'll like her; no one does."

For someone so tiny and fragile looking, Alice can certainly look extremely fierce when she wants too. I've never seen someone's demeanor change so fast in my life.

"Edward, that's hardly necessary! Don't act like you don't love her like your own sister. She may be a bitch, but she protects her own and stands up for what she believes in. You of all people should respect her after what she and Jasper have been through!"

She stands up abruptly, storming out of the room causing everyone to look over at us.

"Uh… What was all that about?"

Edward sighs as he leans back into his seat, running his hands down his face.

"Rose isn't that bad, once you get to know her. She can be an annoying bitch sometimes, but what Alice said is true; she's been through a lot. I shouldn't say that shit about her, especially in front of Alice. She may be small, but she's a fiery little cracker."

He laughs, and I begin to laugh with him.

"I don't doubt that at all."

He glances over at me, and I smile at him as I begin to stand up.

"Um, I've gotta go. So, I guess I'll see you later."

Edward winks at me, his mouth turning up into that crooked smile I'd seen that first day at the grocery store. I feel the blood rush to my cheeks, and I smile sheepishly before I walk away.

* * *

**Hey Guys. I'm so sorry this chapter is late. I haven't had a computer for two weeks, so i haven't had time to write either. I am already Eight chapters into my story so hopefully i'll be okay. The next few chapters may also be late. It depends on when i get the computer back. Thankyou all so much for your support! I hope you enjoy the chapter! Reviews make me fluffy inside :)**

_**Thankyou to my amazing Beta Jenndur. Without her, this would be a mess**_**.**

**-Natalee-x**


	5. Dont be shy

_**Chapter Five -**__ (Don't be shy)_

* * *

_**EPOV**_

_Her lips form into a smile as she begins to stand up._

_"Um, I've gotta go. So, I guess I'll see you later."_

_I wink at her, my mouth forming into my signature crooked smile. The blood rushes to her cheeks, and she smiles sheepishly before walking away._

_God, she is so beautiful._

At the sound of Emmett pounding on my door, I'm startled awake from my dream of the last time I saw Bella; which I haven't been able to stop replaying in my mind. I groan, rolling over, and glance at my alarm clock— 12:30pm? Jesus Christ.

I drag myself out of bed, heading for the shower – I slowly begin to wake up, feeling my muscles relax under the hot water. My thoughts wonder towards Bella, trying to understand why she's so reluctant to talk to me or Alice.

When I first met her outside of the grocery store, she was friendly, chatting away, and cracking jokes. Now it's like she's trying to fade away into the background, not wanting anyone to notice her. I've never met anyone like her before, and I'll be damned if I don't get to know her better.

After I shower, I throw on a pair of black and red flannel pants, not bothering to put a shirt on. I walk downstairs, heading straight to the piano, my baby; I lightly run my fingers across the keys as I sit down on the bench. I press down, letting the music flow from my mind onto the keys. I don't know where the inspiration is coming from, but I close my eyes, getting lost in the new piece.

I could sit here all day playing my piano; it's like an escape, and nothing else matters but the melody flowing through the room. After my mom died, I went through a stage where I would only play depressing pieces, but as I began to get closer to Alice and the rest of my family, it bought me out of my stupor and I began to play happier pieces again— that made Esme extremely happy.

She hated seeing me so broken and upset— I couldn't help it though. I was a momma's boy, and when my mom died, a part of me died too. It was like I couldn't get out of the darkness. I was only ten years old; I didn't understand her sickness at the time, or why it was her that had to become sick and be taken away from me forever.

I remember my mother quite clearly; she had beautiful green eyes, and gorgeous long wavy bronze hair. She had two little freckles on the left side of her nose, and she was slender with light pale skin.

She was the most caring, selfless person you could ever meet. Was always helping people out, volunteering in homeless shelters, and donating our old clothes to the poor. She would even buy multiple meals and go feed the homeless on the street – Mom always used to say _"If you want to help a person in need, don't give them money, give them food, water and clothes. That way they can't fall back into their old habits of drinking, or doing drugs."_

Mom was even going to put her name down to start fostering children in need, but then the unenviable happened. On August 10, 2003, she was diagnosed with grade four terminal brain cancer. The doctors gave her three weeks to live, and she passed away six weeks later on September 24, 2003. She was always a fighter.

I remember when we lived in Highland Park; I would spend time with my mother before she had to go into hospital as she was becoming too sick. We would always go searching for little family parks, and have picnics under the tall trees. Every park she took me to was mesmerizing,

* * *

_I gaze out the passenger side window as my mom drives along the streets of Highland Park, trying to find the perfect park to have our picnic in. She begins to slow the car down, eventually parking onto the side of the road. I look over to her, giving her a smile. She reaches her hand toward me, and strokes my left cheek._

_"We're here, honey."_

_I unbuckle my seat belt and jump out of the car, running to my mother's side, opening the door for her. She gets out of the car, and kisses me on the cheek._

_"You're so much like your father; such a gentlemen."_

_I feel my lips turn up into a grin and she smiles back at me, taking my hand in hers_ as we_ walk across the street I look up and gaze at the park. There's colour everywhere; multiple coloured flowers planted everywhere, trees with the greenest leaves I've ever seen, trees with beautiful blooming pink and orange flowers – I've never seen a place so enchanting._

_"Wow," I say in fascination._

_"Mom, this place is amazing! There are so many big trees to set up our picnic under!"_

_I hear her laugh as she ruffles up my hair._

_"Why don't you go find a special tree, honey?"_

_I let go of her hand, running off to find the perfect tree, proving the perfect shade. I come across a tall beautiful fig tree, the roots winding around each other, looking like they've been twisted._

_Mom begins to walk towards me; she stands about five feet away, staring up at the tree with a content smile on her face._

_"Do you like it, Mom?" I ask her uncertainly._

_"It's absolutely perfect."_

_She glances toward me. I close the distance between us, wrapping my arms around her waist and hugging her close to me. She kisses the top of my head, rubbing circles on my back._

_"I love you so much, honey."_

_I pull away to look up at her. Her eyes are glazed over and a tear slips down her check. I reach up, causing her to lean towards me. I wipe away her tear, and look into her eyes._

_"I love you too, Mom, forever."_

_She closes her eyes, and her lips form into a smile as she sighs._

* * *

The sound of footsteps pulls me out of my reverie. I open my eyes to see Esme standing in the hall, watching me intently. She smiles as she walks over, wrapping her arms around me.

"I love it when you play. It's like you were born to play the piano."

She pecks me on the cheek, then walks back out of the room.

I remove myself from the piano, walking into the living room and sitting in the arm chair. Jazz and Em are sitting on the ground, playing Mario cart as the girls sit on the couch, looking through catalogs and gushing over jewelry and other unimportant objects they want.

Emmett continually throws shells at Jasper's character, causing him to go flying into the air, and fall even further behind. Jasper begins to get frustrated with the game, and throws his controller onto the ground. He stands up and storms off upstairs, muttering about Emmett being an unfair player. I start chuckling and Emmett looks over to me with a grin on his face.

"He's such a sore loser. You wanna play, man?"

I hop off of the couch and sit next to Emmett on the floor. I grab the controller that Jasper threw, and begin to reset my character.

"He chooses the shittest character; that's why he always loses."

Emmett laughs, and Rosalie joins in. Alice stands up, throwing a pillow at me and Emmett. I look over at her to see her hands on her hips with her eyes narrowed.

"You guys are so horrible to him sometimes. Emmett, you are such baboon that never plays fairly. Jasper plays perfectly fine with me."

She turns her back on us, walking out of the room.

"That's only because you let him win, Alicat!" Emmett yells to her as she heads up the stairs.

* * *

We continue to play until we get sick of it, only to realize how late it had gotten from the darkness outside.

I head into the kitchen, and grab a bottle of water from the fridge as Esme walks in, giving me a polite smile before she speaks.

"Hey, honey. How was your day?"

I smile back at her as I walk over to the bench and lean against it.

"It was alright. I played Mario with Em after Jazz threw down the controls and stormed out of the room because he kept getting hit by Emmett's shells."

She chuckles as she opens the pantry cupboards.

"That sounds like an eventful day. I swear, one day you boys will become square eyed— you become so engrossed in your games sometimes."

She glances over, smiling at me. I smile back at her, laughing at her remark.

"Yeah, we actually only just stopped. I didn't realize how late it was getting."

Esme sighs, running her palm down her face.

"Damn. I forgot to grab the vegetables at the store today for tomorrow night's dinner. Would you mind heading down and picking some up for me?"

I kick myself off of the bench, grabbing my keys out of my pocket and walk over to her.

"Sure, I was gonna head out to fill up the Volvo anyway."

I plant a kiss on her cheek, smiling at her before I walk out to the car.

* * *

I head out onto the main road, driving into the gas station. I head into the store to pay, grabbing a packet of pepperoni and sausage pizza hot pockets as well. I'm telling you; whoever invented hot pockets deserves a gold medal. My mouth waters just thinking about them.

I drive out of the station, heading towards the grocery store. As I turn the corner into the cold section aisle, I see Bella standing in front of the dessert section. My lips form into a smile, and I head towards her.

"Hey, Bella."

She spins around abruptly, clutching her chest with a shocked expression on her face.

"God, Edward. You nearly gave me a heart attack."

I smirk at her as her cheeks become flushed, and she looks back toward the freezer.

"Sorry. How's your weekend?"

She glances over at me, and I give her a polite smile. She sighs, biting her bottom lip.

"It's fine. How's yours?"

She begins to walk away, and I follow after her.

"Boring. Esme asked me to grab her some vegetables for dinner tomorrow night. I don't have a clue what she wants, though."

A small smile plays at the corner of her lips.

"What's she making?"

I quirk my eyebrow at her, and her cheeks flush red again.

"How am I meant to know? I think she said something about a stir fry though."

She laughs lightly to herself and heads over to the fridges, opening the door and grabbing something out before handing it to me.

"Get this. Its mixed vegetables; they're great for stir fry's."

As I take the bag from her, our hands lightly touch and I feel a slight electric shock at the touch.

"Uh, thanks. You seem like you know your food."

She smiles a genuine smile, and begins to bite her bottom lip again; someone's got a bad habit. I chuckle at my thoughts, and she gives me a peculiar look.

"Yeah, I've uh, been cooking since I was ten. Well, I have to go now. So…"

She turns to walk away.

"Okay, well, I guess I'll see you at school then."

I call out to her, causing her to turn back around.

"Don't be shy to accept Alice's invitation to sit with us at lunch either. She's only trying to be your friend. And we don't bite, I promise."

I wink at her before walking away to pay for the vegetables.

I grab a bottle of coke on my way to the cash register, and I notice a tall, slim, blonde haired girl looking way too happy to see me.

"Hey, Edward."

I keep my face blank, not letting my confusion show on my face; I have no idea who this chick is.

"Uh, hey."

I give her a polite smile, handing her the vegetables and bottle of coke. She begins to giggle, smiling back at me.

"Lauren."

I look behind me, but no one is there. Who's this Lauren she's talking about?

"Sorry?" I ask her in confusion.

She laughs and points to her name badge.

"My name— it's Lauren. We go to the same school."

Oh. I don't recall ever seeing her, but that could be because I was focused on, uh, _other _things. I laugh to myself, causing her to raise her eyebrow at me.

"Oh, sorry. I've only been here a few weeks; I don't remember many people."

She rolls her eyes at me, annoyance replacing her happy mood as she places the vegetable into a plastic bag. Yeah, that's real great for the environment.

"You seem to remember _Isabella Swan_ perfectly fine."

She practically spits the words with venom at me. She clearly doesn't like Bella. God only knows why. She's beautiful, funny, smart, and stubborn as all hell, but that just goes to show she's a strong, independent person.

Lauren looks at me expectantly, and I realize it probably looks like I was ignoring her.

"That's because I mether before I started school."

A look of disgust washes over her face. She glances behind me, and then smiles evilly.

"Well, _Isabella_ is a loser. You shouldn't associate with her, or you'll get a bad rep. She has no friends."

Why does she keep emphasizing Bella's name? I narrow my eyes at her, causing her smile to fall.

"_Bella _seems perfectly cool to me. And to be quite honest, I don't give a shit what my _rep_ will become. I don't need stuck up bitches sucking up my ass, telling me who I should and shouldn't be friends with. I can make my own decisions. I'll associate with whoever I want. And my sister, Alice, and I are friends with her, so you're clearly delusional about her having no friends."

Lauren looks at me with a horrified expression on her face, continuing to glance behind me. I turn around to see what she's looking at, and find Bella standing there, watching the whole confrontation. I smirk at her causing her to blush. She looks me in the eyes and mouths the words "thank you" before Lauren clears her throat; annoying me even more than what she already has. I look back at her, raising my eyebrow.

"Um, that comes to four dollars."

She looks everywhere, but at me. I place a five dollar bill in her hand and turn around to see that Bella has gone.

* * *

I drive home and as I pull into the driveway, I see Alice sitting on the stairs. I get out of the car, locking it up before I then head up the stairs to sit beside her.

"Hey, Ali. Everything alright?"

I ask her with concern. She rests her head on my shoulder, winding her arm through mine and sighs.

"Yeah, I just don't know what to do about Bella. I mean, she actually started to talk to us the other day, but maybe she was just in a good mood? Or maybe we just aren't meant to be friends?"

I look over at her, and for the first time in her life, she actually looks defeated. She looks up to me with a sad look in her eyes. I smile at her, and lift her chin up.

"I saw her at the store tonight. She didn't shy away then either. Some Lauren chick was mouthing off about her, saying how much of a loser she is when she knew Bella was right behind me,"

Alice's face turns into a look of alarm.

"Don't worry Alice, I put her in her place. Just ask Bella to sit with us on Monday. She'll accept this time,"

I smile at Alice and her eyes light up immediately, a grin forming on her face.

"Really? How do you know?"

She looks at me expectantly, and I chuckle at her obvious excitement to become friends with Bella.

"I just know,"

I stand up, smiling at her before I ruffle up her hair. She whacks my hand away, and I laugh as she tries to hit me as I run up the rest of the stairs.

As I walk into the kitchen, I see her head into the living room, cuddling up to Jasper on the couch. I place the vegetables in the freezer, and the bottle of coke in the fridge. I head up stairs and call into Esme's room to let her know I'm back.

I push the door open and see her reading. She looks toward me and smiles.

"Hey, Esme. I put the vegetables in the freezer down stairs. I'm just gonna head to bed,"

I can't help but smirk at her; she looks so cute and motherly in her reading glasses. She rolls her eyes and smiles at me again.

"Thanks, honey. Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning,"

I smile at her before closing the door. I head up the stairs to my room and push the door open. I gather my school books, putting them in my bag to save time in the morning.

I change into my briefs, and collapse onto my bed, letting sleep and beautiful dreams of Bella over take me.

* * *

**A little glimpse of young Edward for you :)**

**I got my computer back! Well, a new one. But it's still being shit. So i'm posting this one early, just in case it stuffs up again. An d because my bestfriend is coming to see me tomorrow, so i might not have time to post. **_**A huge thanks to Jenndur, my Beta. You're amazing bb! :)**_

**-Natalee-x**


	6. Dreams

_**Chapter Six **__- (Dreams)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

_As I wake up, I keep my eyes closed, feeling the sunshine on my skin, shining through my window. I roll onto my back, but the texture feels different – I slowly open my eyes, only to see the bright blue sky looking back at me. I sit up, taking in the scene around me. There are beautiful pink and purple wild flowers scattered throughout the whole clearing._

_I stand up, wrapping my arms around myself. I turn around in a circle, taking in every inch of this beautiful paradise. I see something in my peripheral vision and turn to see what it is. It looks like someone is in the shadow of the trees – I squint my eyes to try and get a better look just as the person steps out into the sun._

_It's Edward._

_He walks towards me with that crooked smile on his face as I stay where I am, frozen on the spot. Watching him close the distance between us. My heart rate begins to spike and I don't understand why. I mean, it's only Edward._

_He stands in front of me, looking at me intently and I can't stop looking into his captivating green eyes. He cocks his head to the side and smiles at me. I feel myself blush, causing me to finally look away from him._

_He steps closer to me and cups my right cheek, forcing me to look at him. I feel the electricity shoot through my skin, making my breath catch in my throat._

_He leans forward, and I close my eyes as he whispers in my ear,_

_"Bella, let your walls down."_

* * *

I'm startled awake at the sound of glass smashing downstairs. I sit up abruptly, completely confused from my dream of Edward. I rest my head in my hand and run my hands through my hair. What the hell was that about?

I crawl out of bed and head downstairs. I walk into the kitchen and see a glass bowl smashed everywhere along with Charlie's vomit – he clearly drank himself stupid until god only knows how long in the morning.

I cover my nose with my hand and go back upstairs to get changed. I grab a pair of old sweat pants and throw on a plain polo shirt. I head into the laundry room to grab some bleach and an old rag to clean up the vomit.

I go back down to the kitchen and begin to clean up Charlie's disgusting mess. If it wasn't for the strong aroma of the bleach, I would probably be dry reaching by now. One day, I'm going to treat him like the animal he is, and rub his nose in it.

I decide that I might as well clean the whole house since I've practically had to clean the whole kitchen. I get up off of my knees, grab the cleaning products and begin to clean down the kitchen bench, microwave and oven. Once I'm done with the kitchen, I head upstairs and return the bleach to the laundry room; I go into the bathroom and scrub the floors, clean down the shower, basin and toilet until they're all shining.

As I get further into the cleaning, I can't help but seethe about all the work I do around this house without any praise. Charlie is hardly ever home; he's always at the station, or down at La Push getting his drink on with Harry Clearwater.

He treats this place like a hotel and it really pisses me off. He needs to wake up and stop treating me like shit over bullshit that's happened in the past, because he would be nothing without me. He's too lazy and too incompetent to go to the store to buy the groceries. He wouldn't even know where to start with how to do the house work, let alone paying the house bills.

After I'm done with the house work, I head back upstairs to have a shower, letting the hot water relax me. As I wash my hair, my mind wanders to the dream I had about Edward. I don't know how to explain it, it felt so real. And what did he mean by _"let your walls down"? _What walls? Argh, this is so frustrating!

I get out of the shower annoyed, wrapping a towel around me. I brush my teeth, and then head into to my room. It's a rare sunny day in Forks so I decide to go down to La Push beach. I put on a pair of dark blue denim shorts and a black tank top. I head down to my car, locking up the house in the process and drive down to the reservation.

As I'm driving, I see a few of the Quileute boys' cliff diving — these people are crazy. I park my car, and head out onto the beach. I walk along the sand to a spot among the trees where there's a thick, broken branch lying between two trees. I sit down, gazing out at the water and watching all the families building sand castles and splashing around in the water together. This brings back memories of when I used to come down here with my mom and dad when I was younger.

* * *

_I dig into the sand, placing it into a bucket until it's filled all the way up to the top._

_"Tip ova momma, tip ova!"_

_She picks up the bucket, tipping it over to form a sand castle. I clap my hands together excitedly._

_"Yayyy! Sand tasle!" I exclaim._

_I jump into her arms, wrapping my arms around her neck. She falls backwards, wrapping her arms around my back, squeezing me tightly._

_"I lub you, Momma. You make da best sand tastles!"_

_She kisses me on the forehead, tucking my hair behind my ears._

_"I love you too, baby, and you make great sand castles too."_

_She smiles at me and I smile back, planting a kiss on her nose._

_Dad walks over to us and sits down._

_"Now this is why you're my two favourite girls in the world."_

_He plants a kiss on both mine and Mom's cheek before lying down next to us._

_"Dada, tan I do play in da wada?" I ask him._

_He smiles at me, pinching my check._

_"Of course you can princess. Just stay where we can see you, and don't go into the water past your knees."_

_I jump off of Mum, and run towards the edge of the water. I fall over but stand up, brushing the sand off of me and walk the rest of the way. I giggle as I splash around in the water. I turn around to face my parents, and I see Dad sitting on the ground with Mom leaning up against him as she reads a book._

_"Dada, tome play wif me!" I call out to him._

_He stands up, kissing my mother on the cheek before walking over to me. He begins to run towards me slowly, holding his arms out. I turn and run the other direction, making him chase after me. He scoops me up in his arms, putting me on his shoulders before continuing to run around. He places me back on the ground, and begins to splash the water at me. Mom joins us, kneeling into the water and splashing the water around with us._

_In the water, I spot a shell coloured in all sorts of greens and blues._

_"Look, look! A pwitty shewl!" I exclaim, pointing to the shell._

_Dad picks it up, holding it out to me._

_"It is pretty. Maybe we could put it on your sand castle," he says with a smile on his lips._

_I grab both their hands, pulling them back to where our stuff is._

_"Tum on! Dets put it on da sand tasle!" I say enthusiastically._

_I let go of their hands, running the rest of the way by myself before placing the shell on top of the sand castle._

_"There we go," Mom says._

_"Now it's just as beautiful as you, princess," Dad adds._

* * *

"I told you, I can't get it yet!"

I hear two people arguing, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look around and notice that it's gotten a lot darker from when I came. How long was I daydreaming? I look around again and see the culprits of the argument. I notice one of them is a short slender boy from my school — I think his name is Ben— and a dark skinned boy with short, cropped black hair. It seems to be that Ben owes him something. I try and get a better look at whatever the other boy is holding, and I notice a small clear bag with white powder in it. Oh! He's obviously a drug dealer.

Ben spots me, a shocked and horrified expression covering his features. The dark skinned boy looks over at me, quirking his eyebrow at me. I narrow my eyes at him, causing him to smirk at me. Ben whispers something to him before running off towards the car park, leaving the other boy to walk over to me.

"Hey there, beautiful," He says with far too much eagerness in his voice.

He looks me up and down, and I roll my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. I scoff, typical male.

"What's your name, sweetheart?" He asks me. I cock my brow at him.

"None of your business. I'm not interested in people like you."

"And what exactly is a person like me?" he asks, looking at me expectantly.

I stand up, placing my hands on my hips.

"A pathetic, lowlife who pushes people to take drugs. Honestly, how can you do that to someone? Drugs screw up everyone's lives! How can you sell them to innocent people, without feeling the least bit bad about it?" I spit the words out at him.

He places his hand over his heart, in mock hurt.

"Ouch, someone's feisty,"

His voice is laced with sarcasm, annoying me further than I already am.

"But for your information," he adds.

"I get asked for them and provide them. I don't push them on people who don't want it,"

"It sure didn't sound like that with Ben just then—"

"Don't go making assumptions, doll face. The kid owes me money — I wasn't giving him drugs."

I purse my lips at him, causing his lips to form into a gigantic smile.

"Anyway, my name's Jacob. Jake for short."

He extends his hand out to me. I look at it with a disgusted look forming on my face, then look back to him. He drops his hand, placing them in his pockets.

"And your name is…?" he asks.

I roll my eyes, and then turn my back on him and begin to walk way. Man, this guy is persistent.

"Like I said, none of your business," I yell to him over my shoulder, as I'm walking back to my truck.

As I'm about to drive away, I see Jacob leaning against a red Volkswagen Rabbit with a huge grin on his face. He raises his hand and waves at me as I drive off.

Stupid, arrogant, persistent jerk.

I don't understand people who try to drown their sorrows by turning to drugs. It doesn't solve the problem, it just intensifies the feelings. It may make you feel happy and numb the pain for a while, but it always comes back in the end. And once the high fades, everything turns to shit again and you feel ten times worse. I often wonder what could possibly cause someone to have to go through, for them to turn to drugs.

My mother abandoned me on Thanksgiving when I was only thirteen years old. To me, that's one of the most horrible things someone can do to you; someone telling you they love you, and that you mean the world to them, just to leave you without an explanation. That happened to me, and it didn't cause me to turn to drugs. It may be because my dad is Chief of police, and drilled how bad drugs were into my head at a young age, making them seem unappealing to me.

But it could possibly have something to do with everyone's subconscious. If you're the tiniest bit interested or curious about them, then it builds up in the back of your mind. And when something horrible or tragic finally happens to you, you break down and all the things that people have said about how great drugs make you feel, suddenly make them appealing and you succumb to the temptation, ruining your life even more. You waste all your money on them, depending on them to feel the tiniest bit of peace again, only to cause the habit to become worse; all because of the addiction.

* * *

I pull up to my house, noticing Charlie's car in the drive way. That's odd, he's usually home after 10 and it's only 9:30. I climb out of my truck and head up to the front door. I open it slowly, stepping inside, I try to head straight for the stairs to escape to my room, but of course he's faster than me and steps out of the lounge room and into the hall way.

"And where have you been?" he yells, stumbling towards me.

He's obviously been drinking for a while. He smells like the inside of a damn Bar.

"I was at La Push. Why?"

I cock my head to the side and give him a puzzled look.

"You haven't cooked dinner. I'm starving!"

My jaw drops in shock. _Did he honestly just say that to me? Is he joking?_

"Last time I checked, you had arms. I'm your daughter, not you're goddamn servant! You can make your own meals!"

I can't believe he's acting like this. Charlie has spoken me pretty rudely before. But never in my life has he ever talked like _that _to mebefore. His eyes narrow at me as I finally look at him. A fire blazes inside of them.

"How dare you talk to me like that! After everything you've caused, you owe me a cooked meal. I go to work every day, bringing home the money."

I clench my fists at my side, the anger rising up inside of me with each word he spits at me.

"You may bring home the money, but who's the one who pays the bills? Who's the one who buys the groceries? Who's the one who pays the house mortgage? I do. I do everything around this house, keeping it from falling apart! You're nothing but a self absorbed asshole caught up in the past, drinking your life away! You're supposed to be my father! You're supposed to be there for me, but all you ever do is abuse me and put me down! I hate you!"

I feel my eyes forming tears before they fall. I wipe them off of my cheeks, and take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I can see it in his eyes again, that pulsating fire brewing up inside of him, and I know he's about to snap again.

"You stupid, little bitch! I've lost everything because of you! You're nothing to me. Do you hear me? YOU'RE NOTHING!"

I walk backwards toward the door as he begins to stumble toward me. I close my eyes from fear, before his hand collides with my right cheek. My breath catches in my throat as my head falls to the side because of the impact.

I cup my cheek, and turn my head towards him. I don't know what I expected to see on his face, maybe shock or regret, but not the full force of anger in his eyes. I feel my eyes stinging. I push past him, running up the stairs as the tears fall down my face.

I go straight to the bathroom, strip off my clothes and get into the shower. The tears don't stop falling, and it soon becomes difficult to breathe because I'm sobbing so hard. I slide down the wall of the shower, wrapping my arms around my waist. I try to get control of myself again, but find it impossible to do so. I hate this feeling, I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be anywhere near Charlie anymore, I just want to live in peace for once!

I crawl out of the shower, wrapping the towel around me and walk into my room. I change into my sweats and oversized jumper, curling up in my bed and sobbing into my pillow as the tears begin to fall again, the pain overtaking me.

I try thinking of anything to stop the pain, anything at all. I think of the sun shining, and purple and pink wild flowers. I remember my dream of Edward from this morning, and I breathe a sigh of relief, Edward. I'll see him tomorrow.

My lips curl up into a smile as I finally fall asleep.

* * *

_**Oh, Ohhhhh. Look's like Bella's got into a bit of a pickle :O **_**Sorry for the late post guys! I've had a busy week! Thankyou for reading this, and adding it to your favourites and story alert! **_**To my Beta; Jenndur! She's seriously such an amazing friend and Beta! I love you babycakes!**_

**-Natalee-x**


	7. Friends

_**Chapter Seven **__- (friends)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

I sit up in my bed, running my hands through my hair and then down my face. I have a splitting headache from crying all night. I climb out of bed and gather my books for school. I head down the stairs as quietly as I can — it's Charlie's day off work and I'll do anything to avoid running into him. One of the stairs squeaks.

"Shit!" I curse under my breath.

I hear Charlie getting out of his chair as I run down the rest of the stairs and head for the door.

"Where are you going?" he asks me.

"Um, school," I reply hesitantly.

"Aren't you going to have breakfast?" he asks me with confusion in his voice.

"I'm not hungry, okay?" I snap at him as I turn around and face him.

His face is covered in shock, looking at me as if I'm an alien. I quirk my brow at him.

"What?" I ask in annoyance.

"What happened to your face?" he asks with I think a bit of anger in his voice.

I look at him incredulously as he looks at me expectantly. I roll my eyes, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Of course you don't remember. You were too drunk."

He shakes his head with a horrified look on his face.

"Bullshit. I'd never hit you Bella. You're my daughter," he says in a stern voice.

"No, Charlie. I'm not. Not anymore."

A tear slips down my cheek as I stare into his eyes, and for the first time since my mother left, he actually looks like the father I once knew. But I know deep down inside he's not. And he never will be again. I turn my back on him and walk out the door to my truck. I drive to school and as I park my truck, I notice the very familiar silver Volvo. I smile to myself thinking about all of the events from last night, remembering that Edward was the last thing I thought about before I finally fell asleep.

* * *

I look around the parking lot, searching to see if he's here. I can't see him anywhere, but I see the all too familiar short black haired pixie, Alice, staring right at me. She doesn't have that bright, happy aura around her like she usually does. She's looking at me hesitantly?

I smile at her lightly and give her a small wave. Her body language and face immediately light up at the gesture, a huge grin replacing her somber expression. She begins to walk over to me as I get out of my truck.

"Hey, Alice." I greet her once she's close enough to hear me.

She says nothing as she closes the distance between us, pulling me into an embrace, hugging me.

"Thank you," she whispers.

I stand there in shock. I actually think my jaw has dropped. I slowly wind my arm around her and lightly pat her on the back.

"Uh, for what?" I ask her, my voice filled with confusion.

"Don't worry about it," she says through her laughter.

She sighs as she steps out of the embrace. She cocks her head to the side.

"Are you alright, Bella?" she asks with concern clear in her voice.

I make sure to hide my bruised face with my hair. Alice sees right through me, though. I take a step back, but she steps closer to me pulling my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. Her eyes go wide as her hand flies to her mouth.

"What happened? Who did this to you?" she practically screams at me, her voice going up an octave.

"Shhh! Keep it down. It's nothing. Don't worry about it," I say in a hushed voice, trying to convince her. I don't need everyone finding out that my father hit me.

"Are you kidding? It's not 'nothing'!" she whispers at me, in a frenzied voice.

"Alice. Please, just drop it," I plead with her.

My eyes begin to water and her expression softens.

"I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you. If you need to talk to anyone, you know you can talk to me, right?" she asks in a whisper.

The look in her eyes makes me feel like I can trust her, but I can't seem to make myself believe it. Not after everything that's happened. The bell rings, signaling that it's time for English.

"Come on. Let's get to class," She says as she winds her arm through mine, leading me towards the entrance of the school.

As we approach the stairs, I see Jessica and Lauren. Jessica has a bewildered expression on her face, and Lauren's face is as sour like it is any other day. My eyes connect with Jess's and she honestly looks hurt. I look at her apologetically. She narrows her eyes at me and straightens up her back.

As we walk by them, Lauren sticks her foot causing Alice and I to fall to the ground.

"Well, look what the trash dropped in," she snickers.

Alice stands up abruptly; dusting herself off then spins around to face her.

"What the hell was that? Are you insane?" she asks incredulously.

Jessica laughs as Lauren quirks her brow at Alice.

"Not as insane as you, hanging out with that piece of trash," she replies with disgust in her voice.

"And who might I ask you're referring to as trash? Because it certainly isn't Bella. Considering she's wearing designer clothes and you look like you've gone to a store provided for hookers," she spits at her.

Lauren's face drops and anger flashes in her eyes.

"What did you just say to me?" she screams at Alice.

Alice laughs shaking her head, and rolls her eyes at Lauren as she places her hands on her hips.

"You heard me," she repeats Lauren's earlier statement.

Lauren steps closer to Alice with a threatening look on her face. I feel like I should step in and do something, but I just can't seem to make myself get off of the ground. It's like I'm glued to the spot, horrified.

"You better watch what you say, pixie. I'll make your life here so miserable you'll regret ever sticking up for that bitch," she whispers in a menacing tone.

I hear a pair of clicking heels coming up from behind me. I look to see who it is. She looks at me, then between Alice and Lauren. Alice's face turns into a massive grin. So this must be another one of the Cullens.

"Hey, Rosalie. I was just explaining to Lauren here, that she looks like she shops at a hooker store," she says with an innocent smile on her face.

Rosalie rolls her eyes at Alice.

"How nice of you, Alice," she says with sarcasm laced in her voice.

She walks over to me, extending her hand. I take it and she pulls me up. Rosalie looks over to Lauren. Lauren quirks her brow, and looks at Rosalie with an appalled expression. Rosalie steps closer to Lauren, and narrows her eyes at her.

"You. What's your damage, huh?" she all but growls at Lauren.

Lauren looks between Jessica, Alice and I. She takes a deep breath as she steps backwards, putting some distance between herself and Rosalie.

"What's it to you, Blondie? You aren't involved in this—"

"You're insulting my family and pushing people around by the looks of it," Rosalie says, cutting her off. Rosalie looks over to me, then back to Lauren.

"So you've just made me involved. Keep your trap shut and your hands to yourself. Got it?" she asks in a demeaning voice.

She turns on her heel. Alice and I follow after her. I laugh quietly to myself as Alice winds her arm through mine again.

My body is suddenly jerked towards the ground as Alice is pulled out of my arms. I stand up quickly to see Lauren's arm wrapped around Alice's neck.

"Get your hands off me!" Alice screams at Lauren as she swings her arms around, trying to release herself from Lauren's grip.

She turns her head and bites Lauren on the arm, causing her to scream. I stand up and run towards them, but Jessica steps in and grabs a hold of my arm. I try to pull free, but she has a firm grip on me.

"What are you doing Lauren? Let her go!" I scream at her.

Tears well up in my eyes as I see Alice gasping for air with her eyes closed from the pain. Alice is so tiny, there's no way she can get out of Lauren's hold.

"Rose!" Alice screams.

I swing my hand around to Jessica's head and grab a fist full of her hair, pulling as hard as I can.

"Ahh, you fucking bitch!" she screams in my ear.

I step on her foot, then jab her in the ribs with my elbow. She falls to the ground as I run towards Alice and Lauren again.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? Get your hands off her!"

I stop abruptly and turn around to see Rosalie with an ominous look on her face, charging down the hall. I look over at Lauren and for the first time in her life, she looks absolutely horrified. She lets go of Alice. I run towards her as Rosalie lunges towards Lauren, and punches her in the face. She falls to the ground.

"Do you have a fucking death wish? I told you to keep your hands to yourself!" she screams at Lauren as she hovers over her.

"I swear these stupid bitches in this town are going to drive me insane!" she mutters as she heads back down the corridor.

* * *

Alice and I don't waste any time getting to English, and practically run into the classroom. We give Mr. Berty sheepish looks as we head to our seat in the back of the classroom. The class passes by fairly quickly with many apologies from me to Alice. She brushes me off every time, telling me Lauren is just a bully and needed some sense knocked into it. We both laugh at the unintended pun.

Alice leans in closer to me and whispers in my ear,

"Bella… Do you, do you want me to apply some foundation on your bruise? So you don't get any unwanted attention?"

I look at her and give her a small smile.

"Thanks, I'd appreciate that," I reply, relief laced in my voice.

We walked to the bathrooms, and Alice quickly applied the foundation on my skin. It was still a bit raw, so I was wincing from the pressure being applied. Once she was done, we went our separate ways and I headed for biology.

* * *

I go straight to my seat as I walk through the doors to my biology class. I'm one of the first students in here and as the class begins to fill, I wait anxiously for Edward. He's one of the last students to enter the room and as he does, he has a frenzied look on his face. I notice him breathe a sigh of relief as he spots me. Our eyes lock, not looking anywhere else as he sits beside me.

"Hey, I heard about that fiasco before English. Are you alright?" he asks me in a hushed voice. I give him a small smile as I nod my head.

"I'm sorry. I can't believe she did that."

His voice is filled with hurt, and I give him a puzzled look.

"Why are you apologizing?" I ask confused.

"After all the shit I said to her at the store. Well, maybe it pissed her off and made her jealous or something? I don't know."

He runs his hand through his hair as he sighs, leaning back into his seat.

"It's okay. She's insane. If it wasn't for Rosalie, I don't know what Lauren would have done to Alice," I reply in a soft, regretful voice.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's mine," I mumble as I fidget with the end of my sleeves.

"Hey… it isn't your fault either,"

Edward leans over and places his hand on top of mine, squeezing it. An electric shock shoots up my arms and I tense up at the touch. He removes his hand from mine, entwining his together before placing them in front of him.

"So… are you sitting with us today or what?" he asks playfully, a smirk gracing his beautiful face. I can't seem to stop staring at his lips, causing him to eventually clear his throat.

"Um, well Alice hasn't asked me yet. So. Maybe?" I ask hesitantly.

I look away from him, hiding my blush. He chuckles beside me as he stands up and moves his stool in closer to me.

"So how was the rest of your weekend?" he asks.

I tense up immediately, remembering my fight with Charlie and it leading him to hit me. I don't know how I'm going to explain it to anyone. I can't tell anyone that he hit me. I'd probably get taken away into protective custody or thrown into a foster home, and I really don't want that to happen. He taps me on the shoulder, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, it was fine. You know, housework, homework. The usual. How was yours? How'd the stir-fry go?"

I laugh as I realize what I just said. Did I honestly just ask him how the stir-fry went? Why do I always say stupid shit in front of him?

He chuckles and I look over at him. My mouth goes dry and I automatically lick my lips. His eyes dart to my lips, causing my cheeks to flush. I bite my bottom lip as I look up at him through my lashes.

"It was great. Thanks for your help by the way. Esme was pretty shocked when she noticed it was the right packet." I quirk my brow at him and his eyes go wide.

"Oh, I didn't take your credit though or anything. I told her you helped me." He gives me an apologetic smile. This time I'm the one in shock.

"You told your mom about me?" I ask incredulously.

"Is that a crime?" he asks through laughter.

"And she's actually my aunt. My mom passed away when I was ten," He added with a sad look on his face.

Good job, Bella.

"Oh. I'm sorry, that must have been hard for you," I reply softly. I take a deep breath and place my hand over his.

Maybe we aren't as different after all? I don't know what's worse though. Having your mother leave you because of death, or having her leave because she wants too. They're both horrible.

I rest my head on my palm, looking towards the front of the class. Edward reaches towards me with an intrigued expression on his face. He moves my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear. As he leans in closer, I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. I can feel his lips close to my ear.

"Why do you have a bruise on your face?" he whispers in my ear.

I move away from him abruptly with a look of alarm covering my face.

"I um, I— it's nothing." The words stumble out of my mouth just as the bell rings.

"Bella. Did someone hit you?" he hisses at me with concern in his voice.

"I said it's nothing!" I growl back at him quietly.

I gather up my things and rush out of the door before he can interrogate me further.

* * *

Gym was the same as ever, Alice took control with everything and the times I did get involved, I either harmed someone else or myself. Eventually I gave up, and sat on the bleachers.

Lauren ended up walking into gym with an icepack on her face, and Jessica was sporting a limp and was hunched over because of the blow to her ribs. Alice snickers as she walks over to me.

"You're gonna have to teach me some self defense moves, Bella. I was horrible, but look at what you did to Jessica! She's walking like a demented penguin!" she exclaims with a smile plastered on her face.

I laugh loudly, causing Lauren and Jessica to look over at us. Alice raises her hand and waves to them. Lauren narrows her eyes at her, but puts her head down and sits down on the bleachers next to Jessica

"I didn't know I had it in me either. I just wanted to get her off you. She's insane."

"Oh. That's really kind of you, Bella. Thanks." she says softly as she places her hands on top of mine.

I smile at her as we both stand up and head for the change rooms.

"Hey, Bella?"

I look over at Alice to see her looking at me with a hesitant expression on her face.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to sit with me and my family for lunch today?" she asks in a quiet voice.

I remember the conversation Edward and I had in biology.

_"So… are you sitting with us today or what?" he asked me playfully._

I smile to myself at the memory and answer her question.

"Sure, Alice, I'd love to."

Her soft smile transforms into a massive grin. She jumps up, squealing as she runs towards me, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around her and hug her back.

As I keep thinking about my conversation with Edward, my smile turns into a frown as I think about him asking me if someone had hit me. I sigh, pulling away from Alice's embrace and sit back down on the bench.

"Hey what's wrong?" Alice asks as she sits down next to me.

"Edward saw the bruise through the makeup,"

My voice is so quiet I'm not quite sure she even heard me. I look over to her, she gives me an apologetic look.

"He's not stupid, Bella. Edward just notices those kind of things. If you can't talk to me about it, maybe you should just talk to him," she says all too confidently.

I can't talk to Edward about this — I hardly know him. But Alice has become sort of a friend to me.

"It was Charlie…" I confide in her.

"Who's Charlie? Is he your boyfriend?" She asks confused.

"Argh, God no. He's my father," I mumble quietly.

"Are you kidding me? Bella, you have to tell someone!" she whispers frantically.

"He's never hit me before, I swear he hasn't. He was just… Just don't worry about it okay. I'm fine. Please, Alice, you can't tell anyone,"

I begin to panic, my breathing becoming difficult. Alice looks at me with a horrified expression, and crouches in front of me.

"Bella, calm down. I won't tell anyone, I promise. It's alright. Breathe."

I get my breathing under control, and smile apologetically at her.

"So… lunch then, huh?" I chuckle awkwardly, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"Come on, let's go!" she exclaims as she pulls on my arm.

* * *

We walk through the cafeteria doors, and head over to grab our food. I can hear everyone whispering as they stare at us. I grab an apple, slice of pizza and bottle of water. Alice grabs water and a salad then leads me to her table. I look up and see Edward and Rosalie with two other guys there.

Edward is sitting next to a thin but still well built blonde haired boy. He and Rosalie are obviously twins. Rosalie is sitting next to a huge buff guy with almost black hair who looks so intimidating; he makes me want to turn and run away. He places his arm around the back of her chair, and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. He leans in and kisses her on the cheek, causing a light smile to grace her lips. I look away from them as I blush. I glance at Edward to see he has a smug smirk on his face. God, am I that obvious?

"Hey guys! This is Bella, my new friend."

She walks over to the blonde guy, kissing him on the cheek then sitting in the chair next to him. Leaving me the empty seat next to Edward. I sit down cautiously, making sure I don't drop or spill anything.

"Bella, this is Jasper, my amazing boyfriend," She says as she looks at him. Their eyes lock and he smiles at her.

"Hi Bella, nice to meet you," he says with a hint of a southern accent.

I smile at him then glance over to Rosalie and Emmett.

"You obviously already know Rosalie. The big goof next to her is Emmett. He looks really intimidating, but he's really just a teddy bear."

"Hey now, Alicat. That isn't fair. Just because I have a big heart. doesn't mean I can't fuck someone's shit up if I have too!"

He flexes his muscles with a grin on his face. I laugh causing him to stand up unexpectedly and say,

"Yeah! I made her laugh. She loves me!"

He does a fist pump in the air. Rosalie grabs him by the arm and pulls him back down into his seat.

"Jesus, Emmett. You can be such a child sometimes," She declares in an annoyed voice.

Edward laughs beside me. I glance at him in time to see Emmett lean across the table and hit him. He winces and rubs his arm.

"Fucking hell man. What are you on, steroids?" he exclaims.

"Nah, you're just a weak pussy," Emmett says a matter-of-factly.

Everyone at the table's laughs. I keep myself from laughing as Edward has a pissed off look on his face.

"You shouldn't fucking hit someone for no reason, asshole," He scolds him.

He glances over at me, and I tense up at the remark. It's clearly said for my benefit. I look towards Edward, giving him a pointed look. He quirks his brow at me, and I roll my eyes.

"Edward," Alice calls him pointedly.

She narrows her eyes at him as if to say shut the hell up right now. Realization crosses his face, and he looks between me and Alice. I look at Alice with a panicked expression. She shakes her head slightly, reassuring me that he won't push the subject any further.

"You guys are fucking weird," Emmett says as he chuckles. Rosalie whacks him on the back of the head, causing him to actually wince.

"Owe. What was that for?" he cries at her.

She rolls her eyes.

"For being such an asshole," She says in an annoyed voice.

"Who's the pussy now? Getting beat up by a girl," Edward snickers at him.

"Fuck you. I'd like to see you take one of her hits," He whines.

"Yeah, I'd hate to know how Lauren's face is feeling right now," I chime in. Everyone laughs.

"Yeah that's my baby!" Emmett hollers.

Rosalie shakes her head, but I notice a smile playing at the corners of her lips. I glance at Alice to see her looking at me with a huge grin on her face.

* * *

The rest of the week at school went the same. Alice and I didn't have any more problems with Lauren. I talked casually with Edward in biology, constantly laughing and having a good time with him until he would eventually bring up something that related to my bruise. I kept changing the subject. I was beginning to become really annoyed with him because he kept pushing me about it when I obviously didn't want to talk about it.

Lunch was really good. Emmett is really funny and Jasper is a complete sweetheart. He's so considerate, and there's something about him that calms me and puts me at ease. Rosalie has been okay. She doesn't talk to me much, and Edward says not to worry about it because she's a bitch. But she helped me and Alice with Lauren, so I just can't seem to believe that she's a horrible person. That was until Friday came along…

We were sitting outside for lunch because it was a rare sunny day in Forks. Alice was leaning up against Jasper on the ground, Emmett and Rosalie were mucking around and Edward and I were playing memory with a deck of cards until Rosalie spoke to me.

"So Bella, what happened to your face? You never actually told us what happened,"

Everyone's eyes went on me and I immediately tensed up from the attention. I looked at Alice with a lost expression on my face. She shook her shoulders, and glanced between me and Rosalie.

"Um, I uh… I hit it on the corner of my bench when I was cleaning," I stammer the words out in a nervous rush. She quirks her brow at me as she sits up.

"Bullshit. Give me the truth. There's nothing I hate more than being lied to," She says in annoyed tone.

"Rose," Alice says in a stern voice.

"Stop bullying her. It has nothing to do with you," Rosalie looks at Alice incredulously as if she just grew a second head.

"I saved both your sorry asses and this is how you repay me?" She yells as she stands up.

"That has nothing to do with this situation Rosalie and you know it!" Alice yells back.

"Fuck you, Alice!" She steps towards Alice.

My feet move me before I even know what they're doing, and I stand in between them.

"Guys stop. Please. It's nothing. It doesn't even matter, it's just a bruise! Please, just stop!"

I cry as the tears well up in my eyes. I don't want them to fight because of me. All I ever do is cause problems for everyone. That's why I didn't want to give in to Alice in the first place.

Rosalie looks towards me giving me the biggest glare I've ever seen in my life. I swallow back the lump that has formed in my throat as the saying 'if looks could kill' comes into my mind.

"Shut. Up," Rosalie growls through her teeth.

"All you've done for me, is steal my best friend! Alice and I used to do everything and tell each other everything before you came along. Now she hardly even talks to me anymore!"

I step backwards as the verbal words hit me. This is exactly what I was afraid of. The tears finally spill over from my eyes.

"Rose…Why didn't you talk to me instead of attacking her?" Alice asks her in a cautious voice.

Rosalie glares at Alice, causing her eyes to go wide.

"Did you not just hear what I said, Alice? You don't talk to me anymore!" she yells, spitting the words in her face.

I can't take the confrontation anymore.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper before turning and running away towards the lining of the forest near the car park.

I fall over as I'm running. I don't bother to get up. I sit there with tears streaming down my face. Why does this always have to happen to me! I can't do anything right. I'm just a useless waste of space who rips everyone else apart. It happened to my parents and now it's happening to Alice and Rosalie.

"What the hell is wrong with me!"

I sob aloud through my tears. I hear footsteps approaching behind me and immediately tense up. Alice crouches down onto her knees and pulls me into a hug.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Bella. Rose just isn't used to me having two best friends," She whispers softly as she rubs my back. I take a deep breath as I pull away from her.

"Best friend?" I ask her hesitantly. She smiles at me, wiping away the tears from my cheeks.

"Bella. I don't know how to explain it, but when I meet people I sense something about them. When I met you I sensed that we were meant to become friends. I know I was really pushy in the beginning and I'm sorry for that. But I'm so glad we're friends now. You're not like anyone I've ever met. You have such a beautiful soul and I don't want you to listen to anything Rosalie says. You aren't a burden, she's just jealous and once she calms down and realizes I'm still her best friend too, she'll come to her senses and apologize to you. Please don't think any of this is your fault. You can trust me. If you need to talk or just need a friend, I'll be here for you. For anything. I know you have some stuff going on in your life and I'll let you confide in me when you're ready,"

I sit there in shock. No one has ever said anything that sweet or generous to me before. I look her in the eyes and see that she's one hundred percent genuine. I smile at her before I envelop her in a hug. She hugs me back, and I can feel her chest vibrating with laughter. I pull away from her and begin to play with the hem of my shirt.

"That really means a lot to me, Alice. No one has ever been as nice to me like you've been. And I don't want to seem rude, but I really just want to go home now," I utter through a sigh.

"I'll drive you home," Says a soft delicate voice I would recognize anywhere.

I turn to see Edward looking down at us. He gives me a soft smile, extending his hand out to me. I take it and he pulls me up off the ground.

"You okay?" he asks, concern clear in his voice.

I nod my head and wrap my arms around myself.

"I just want to go home. It's not too much trouble, is it? I'd drive myself, but I honestly don't feel like I'm in the right state of mind,"

"Nah, it's cool," He replies. I walk back to Alice and give her one last hug.

"Thank you," I whisper so only she can hear. She squeezes me tightly before releasing me.

"We'll have to hang out, outside of school soon, Bella! Just let me know when you're free," She says with a smile on her lips.

"Yeah, definitely," I reply before she dances off towards the school.

Edward and I head towards the parking lot. He unlocks his car doors with the automated car key. He walks around to the passenger side. I give him a puzzled expression before he opens the car door for me. I smile sheepishly at him as I climb into the car. He smiles his crooked smile as he gets into the driver's side and turns on the ignition.

* * *

**CAT FIGHTTTTT! :O Oh, dear. High school is just drama, drama, drama... Thankyou so much for reading and supporting me! Please, drop off a review and let me know your thoughts! ****Jenndur. My Beta, my friend, my girl who listens to my rants about everything and nothing. Thankyou for everything, i love you!**

**-Natalee-x**


	8. Getting to know you

_**Chapter Eight **__- (Getting to know you)_

* * *

_**EPOV**_

Bella and I head towards the parking lot. I unlock the car doors with the automated car key. I walk to the passenger side to open her door for her. I approach her slowly as a puzzled expression covers her features. As I open the car door for her, she smiles sheepishly at me as she climbs into the car. I give her my crooked smile as I get into the driver's side.

"What am I gonna do about my car?" she asks me.

Shit. I didn't think about that.

"I'll drive back here and drive it back to your house when school ends. I'll get Alice to follow in my car so she can pick me up," I say triumphantly.

"Oh… thanks," she replies in a shy voice

The ride to her house is filled with an awkward silence. We don't really talk much at all apart from her guiding me to her address. As I pull into her street, she begins to scan the roads. She sits up more, leaning forward eyeing a house with wary eyes.

"It's just this one two more houses down," she says anxiously.

As I begin to pull up to her driveway, she sighs and visibly relaxes. I wonder what had her so scared_. Was she afraid her parents were home and didn't want to get in trouble for cutting school? Or could it have been me? Did she not want her parents to see me?_ I look over to her and see her biting her lip with a frown on her face. She opens her mouth just to close it again. She takes a glance at me, her cheeks flushing into a beautiful rose color as she realizes I've been watching her the whole time. I give her my famous smirk and if it's even possible, her blush becomes deeper.

"Umm, did you wanna come in or something?" she asks me in a nervous whisper.

_So that's what she was contemplating so badly._ I smile at her as I get out of the car and walk around to the passenger side, opening the door for her again.

"Sure, I'd love to," I respond as I extend my hand to her to help her out of the car.

She takes my hand in hers very gingerly. Her skin is so soft and delicate. Her smile is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, apart from her blush. She's like a porcelain doll; beautiful and strong on the outside, yet fragile on the inside.

As we walk to her front door, she hugs her arms around herself. She spins around faster than lightening and tenses up as a car zooms down the street. Her face is covered in fear and I can't help but think that maybe it was one of her parents who hit her. I reach out to her arm and stroke it lightly.

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you alright?" I ask concerned.

She blinks a few times before taking a deep breath. She shakes her head before looking back at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she says in a voice so quiet I'm not quite sure if I heard her correctly.

She walks back towards her door, placing the key into the lock and opens the door. She turns to me and smiles before walking inside. I follow behind her and wait downstairs patiently as she heads up the stairs to put away her things. She changes into a pair of tight dark blue jeans and a grey shirt tied into a knot at the bottom with a grey jacket with the sleeves pushed up. She even looks beautiful wearing something casual. She gives me a small smile as she descends the stairs.

"Do you want something to eat or drink or anything?" she asks.

She meets me at the bottom of the steps. A piece of hair is hanging in front of her face so I tuck it behind her ear. She looks down at the ground as she bites her lip.

"I'm alright, but if you want something I'll have it too,"

She walks into the kitchen and heads for the fridge. I sit down on the stool at the bench as she pulls out a bottle of water, handing me one as well.

"I have to do a few things around the house before Charlie get's home, if that's alright?"

She begins to fill up the sink with water, putting way too much washing liquid in. I chuckle to myself as I see the bubbles forming into a huge mountain. She turns around at the sound of my laugh and quirks her brow at me.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

I shake my head at her, still laughing as the mountain of bubbles gets bigger.

"Why are you laughing at me? Tell me or you'll regret it," she says with confidence and determination in her voice as she narrows her eyes at me.

"Easy there tiger, I'm just admiring your mountain of bubbles," I reply with a smirk gracing my lips.

A look of confusion flashes across her face before her eyes go wide in shock. She turns around quickly and turns off the tap. It all happens so quickly I don't have time to defend myself.

"Why didn't you tell me instead of laughing to yourself?"

She throws a huge chunk of bubbles at me. The bubbles cover half of my face, the rest going into my hair. I wipe at my face and look at her with a fake annoyed look on my face. She bites her bottom lip to keep herself from laughing.

"Oh you've done it now," I declare as I get off the stool and walk towards her.

Her eyes go wide and she begins to walk backwards. I walk to the sink, placing my hand in the bubbles and scooping up a huge chunk. I stalk towards her with a huge smile on my face. She becomes trapped in the corner of the bench.

"You wouldn't dare," She warns in a shocked whisper.

I quirk my brow and smirk at her.

"Oh wouldn't I?" I taunt her.

She purses her lips to keep herself from smiling. She pushes me unexpectedly and runs past me.

"Hey that's cheating!" I yell as I run after her.

I catch up to her, wrapping my arms around her waist. The bubbles from my hands soak into her shirt. She screams and laughs as I lift her and carry her back into the kitchen. I walk to the sink and slip on the bubbles that fell over the sink. She squeals as we fall to the ground. She attempts to hold onto the sink to stop her from falling, causing something to fall into the sink. All the water and bubbles splash out of the sink and onto us on the kitchen floor. My arms are still around her as I sit us up.

"That was so un-cool!" she says through her laughter.

Throwing more bubbles in my face, she starts to squirm and I grab a hold of her to stop her from getting up.

"You started it," I respond, smiling at her.

I place my hands over her cheeks and wipe away the bubbles. She blushes as I tuck her hair behind her ears before releasing her and standing up. I take hold of her hands and lift her up off the ground.

She groans as she takes in the mess.

"Now I have to clean all this up!" she says in an annoyed voice.

I chuckle as I shake my head. She narrows her eyes at me as she places her hands on her hips.

"Don't worry about it. I'll clean this while you wash the dishes. We can kill two birds with one stone."

She rolls her eyes at me before walking down the hall and into a closest. She comes back out with a mop in one hand and a dry towel in the other. She holds them out to me with a sarcastic smile on her face.

"Thank you ever so much," she says sarcastically as I take them from her.

I begin to wipe the floor as she turns her back on me and begins to wash the dishes.

* * *

"What one do you want to watch?" she asks with annoyance in her voice.

She's asked me this five times and I give her the same answer every time. I chuckle at her impatience causing her to turn around and give me a death stare.

"I honestly don't care, Bella. It's up to you," I say sweetly as I smile at her.

She sighs as she pops a movie into the DVD player. She searches for the remote, becoming frustrated when she can't find it. She walks out of the room and I hear her walking up the stairs. When she comes back down, she has the remote in her hand. She walks over to the couch and sits down next to me.

"But you're the guest, you're meant to choose." She sulks next to me.

I roll my eyes at her and poke her cheek. She slaps my hand away causing me to chuckle. She shakes her head, folding her arms over her chest and leans back into the seat.

"Oh don't be such a cry baby. Any movie is fine," I say playfully.

"Whatever. Don't complain when it's on then. It's one of my favorite movies." She looks over at me and her lips turn up into a small smile before she looks away.

I turn my head to the TV and notice the all too familiar opening credits of Romeo and Juliet. I groan as I sink lower into the couch. Bella begins to laugh next to me.

* * *

I stroke Bella's hair as she sleeps on my shoulder. She fell asleep halfway through the movie and eventually fell onto me. I didn't move her— I just let her sleep because she looked exhausted. I gently stroke her cheek causing her to stir.

"Bella?"

I whisper in her ear. She moans and leans in closer to me. I smile as I lift my arm and she snuggles into my chest.

"Bella. It's getting later,"

I say a bit louder as I shake her lightly. She awakes and tenses up as she realizes she's leaning on me. She sits up slowly, scarlet covering her cheeks.

"Sorry," she says through a yawn. She rubs her eyes and stands up to stretch.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" she asks, her voice thick with sleep. I smile at her as I shake my head.

"I need to go back to the school and get your car remember?"

"Oh. Right," she replies with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

I text Alice to get Jasper to drop her off at the school, explaining that I have to pick up Bella's truck and I need her to follow me back in my Volvo so I can drive it back home.

"Where's your phone?" I ask her.

She quirks her brow in confusion and walks out of the room and returns with her phone in her hand. She looks at me quizzically. I take it from her hands and put my number in.

"You have my number now. What's yours?"

Her eyes go wide as she takes my phone from my hands and types in her digits. She hands it back with a smile on her lips.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" I ask her.

"Um. Nothing. Why?"

She bites her bottom lip as she waits for me to respond.

"I wanna take you to Port Angeles."

She looks down at the ground as she blushes.

"Like a date?" she asks quietly.

I lift her chin up with my hand and smirk at her.

"Definitely,"

I look into her eyes, getting lost in them.

"Okay," she whispers quietly.

She bites her bottom lip and her cheeks flush a deeper red. God. She's so beautiful.

"I'll come around and pick you up at eight."

"Uh, can we make it. Um. Ten?" she asks me nervously as she hands me her car keys.

"Yeah, sure,"

I close the distance between us and plant a kiss on her forehead. I wink at her before I walk out her front door. I walk to my car and get inside. She walks outside, and I give her a small wave and the last thing I see before I drive off is a genuine smile on her lips.

I drive to the school to see Alice leaning up against Bella's truck. I get out of my car and chuck her my keys. I climb into Bella's truck and it roars to life. Fucking hell this is loud. _How does she drive this? _I think to myself.

I drive to Bella's as Alice follows behind. As I pull up to her house, I notice the chief of police's car. I park her car on the grass and as I get out of the car I see Bella looking out of her window. She gives me a small wave before opening her window. I smile at her as I walk over to her and stand directly under it. She leans out slightly with a grin on her lips.

"Just leave the keys in the pot plant near the door," she says quietly.

I hear Alice get out of the car. Bella looks over to her and gives her a wave. Alice returns the gesture enthusiastically as she beams back at her.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I whisper at her before walking back to my car and driving away.

* * *

As I'm driving home, I can't stop thinking about Bella. She's not like any other girl I've ever met before. She's so beautiful. She's not like any of those fake bitches that cake on their make up thinking it makes them look good when it just makes them look like they've been hit with Homer Simpson's paint gun. She doesn't act like she's better than everyone else. I actually think she thinks she's lower than everybody else. She's strong mentally and physically.

I heard what she did to that Jessica Stanley girl. I can't express how pissed off I was when I heard about what happened. Those bitches better leave my sister and Bella alone from now on because next time they'll have me to deal with and I can do a lot harsher things to them than physical violence. Don't get me wrong, Rose fucked Lauren up real good and I highly doubt she'll give Alice or Bella anymore shit. But if she does, she'll fucking regret it.

"Would you mind telling me what the hell happened to your clothes?" Alice scolds me, bringing me out of my reverie.

"Uhh, Bella and I kind of had a bubble fight when she was washing up," I explain as I glance at her. A huge grin covers her face.

"Oh my god!" she squeals excitedly causing me to swerve the car.

"Fuck, Alice! Don't scream like that. I could have crashed the car!" I yell at her.

She giggles as she bounces up and down in her seat.

"This is amazing. When are you hanging out with her again?" She asks excitedly.

"Tomorrow. I'm taking her to Port Angeles,"

"On a date!"

"Jesus Christ, do you have to be so fucking excited all the time?" I scold her playfully.

"Whatever Eddie. You wouldn't have me any other way," she says as she leans over and winds her arm through mine, hugging it tight.

"I can't argue with you there short stuff," I respond. I feel her body vibrating from giggling.

I know Alice is really my cousin, but she's more like a sister to me than anything. She's amazing. If you're feeling like shit, as soon as she walks into the room your mood will lift. She's always cheerful and see's the positive in everything. And she's always there whenever you need her.

My mother didn't have any other children after me. She was still in love with my father so she never married someone else. It was just me and my mom, so Alice and Emmett were the closest people I had to siblings. And when Jasper and Rosalie came into the picture, I felt the exact same for them and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Emmett is a big goof. He's always cracking jokes. He can be a rough bastard but like Alice said to Bella, he's a big teddy bear on the inside with a huge heart.

Jasper and Rosalie have been great too. Jasper is like Switzerland. He doesn't pick sides when shit goes down between people and he always gives good advice. Rosalie is someone who will always have your back. She can be a fucking bitch sometimes but if you're close to her and someone messes with you she'll fuck them up.

They may not be my brothers and sisters by blood, but they'll always be them in my heart.

I pull into the long winding road that will lead me to my house. I pull up behind Carlisle's car and head around to the passenger side to open Alice's door. She steps out of the car and gives me a smile.

"Always such a gentlemen," she states.

I ruffle up her hair; she hits my arm then glares at me.

We head inside and I go to the kitchen to heat up a hot pocket. Alice heads over to the couch and snuggles up next to Jasper. When the hot pocket is done, I grab a plate and a bottle of water from the fridge and take it up to my room. Once I'm done eating, I strip off my clothes and put them in the washing basket in my room. I have a quick shower then collapse onto my bed.

* * *

**B&E hanging out and getting to know each other, with a cute little bubble fight added in. I wanted to show you guys the carefree fun side of Bella. I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think in a review :)**

**Jenndur, one of the most amazing girls i know, Beta's this story and i'm extremely thankful. She encourages me and praises me on my story which gives me the confidence to keep writing! Thankyou so much bb! 3**

**-Natalee-x**


	9. First Date

_**Chapter Nine **__– (First Date)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

Last night I couldn't stop thinking about Edward. Never before in my life have I felt so nervous, carefree, scared, and happy and excited all at the same time.

I didn't realize how late it had gotten. I fell asleep half way through Romeo and Juliet, waking up with my arms wrapped around him. I've never felt so embarrassed in my life! I asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner, but he reminded me about my car still being at school. When he left, I quickly made something to eat then headed up stairs to have a shower. I had just finished getting changed into my pajamas when he returned to the house with my truck.

* * *

_I go to the window just as Edward is getting out of my truck. I wave to him before opening the window. He smiles as he approaches me, standing directly under my window. I can't help but grin as I lean slightly out of the window._

"_Just leave the keys in the pot plant near the door," I whisper to him quietly. _

_I hear Alice get out of Edward's car. I look towards her and give her a wave. She returns the gesture enthusiastically as she beams back at me._

"_I'll see you tomorrow," He says with a wink before walking back to his car and driving away._

* * *

How can one person be so breathtaking? I sigh as I lay in my bed, remembering our conversation before he left to get my truck.

* * *

"_What are you doing tomorrow?" he asks me._

"_Um, Nothing. Why?" _

_I bite my bottom lip as I wait for him to respond. _

"_I wanna take you to Port Angeles," _

_I look down at the ground as a blush creeps onto my cheeks._

"_Like a date?" I ask him quietly. He lifts my chin up and smirks at me. _

"_Definitely," _

_He stares into my eyes and I can't take my eyes off of his._

* * *

Today, I have a date with Edward Cullen.

I drag myself out of bed to get a start on the housework. If I don't do it now, it will never get done. I head to the laundry and put a load of washing on. I clean the bathroom and my room as I wait for it to finish. Once the washing is done, I place it all into a basket and carry it downstairs. I go out back and hang it out. I begin to clean the lounge room until I eventually get tired of it and give up.

Once everything is clean and tidy, I head back upstairs to have a shower. As I grab the towel off my bed, I hear the familiar ring of my message tone. _Who on earth would be messaging me?_ I walk over to my desk and pick up my phone.

_**One new text message:  
-Edward**_

My eyes go wide with shock as I stare at the screen. _Open it you moron! _I click view. Edward's message filling up my screen.

_**Hey Bella,  
Still up for our date? ;)  
I'll be around at 10 just like you asked.  
See you soon.  
-E**_

My lips turn up into a smile as I message him back.

_**I'm still up for it :)  
I was just about to have a shower.  
See you then.  
-B**_

He replies back in a flash.

_**That's nice.  
Thanks for sharing ;)  
-E**_

I blush as I put the phone down and head into the shower. I wash my hair with my strawberry shampoo and scrub my skin with my strawberry shower gel. _Yes, I like strawberries. _

I climb out of the shower and head back into my room to search for something to wear.I don't have a clue what to wear so I just throw on a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with a white long sleeved shirt and a leather jacket over the top. I apply a bit of eyeliner with grey eye shadow and mascara to bring out my eyes. I add a little lip-gloss then run my hands through my hair.

I'm a complete nervous wreck by the time 10 comes around. I'm in the kitchen drinking a glass of water when I hear the door bell. I go to the door and open it to see Edward standing there in black jeans and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. His hair is a complete mess, but it looks absolutely sexy. Our eyes finally meet.

"You look amazing," he says in a whisper.

"Thanks. You don't look too bad yourself," I reply as the blush on my cheeks becomes deeper.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just need to grab my bag. Hang on."

I walk upstairs and grab my bag off my chair. I give myself a quick glance in the mirror before I head back down. Edward is waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs with a genuine smile on his face. I smile at him as I reach him and head towards the door. He follows behind me and leans up against the porch railing as I lock up the house. He walks beside me to the car, opening the door for me.

* * *

The car is filled with an awkward silence as we head to _Port Angeles _. I pick at the ends of my sleeve as my nerves begin to overtake me. My right leg bounces up and down and every time I go to make conversation, I close my mouth as I don't know what to say. I take a quick glance over at Edward. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye and smiles at me. God, his smile makes me melt inside. I smile sheepishly back at him.

"You alright?"

I sigh as I lean back into the seat, biting my bottom lip.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit nervous," I confess to him.

His lips twitch up into his crooked smile and he shakes his head. He takes his hand off the steering wheel. I watch as his hand comes towards my lap and entwines with my own. I look down at our hands, smiling at the strange feelings inside of me from just one touch by him.

"You have nothing to be nervous about, Bella."

His thumb runs circles on the back of my hand. I breathe a sigh of relief as I close my eyes and smile to myself. The rest of the ride to Port Angeles isn't as nerve wracking. We talk about what we're going to do when we get there. Actually, he asks me what I want to do. We end up getting into a playful argument of _"I'm up for anything you want to do"_ followed by _"No, Bella, today's about entertaining you, now choose something to do." _

I raise my brow at him and say, _"yes, sir"_ followed by a military salute. He rolls his eyes at me and we continue to laugh until I finally tell him that I wouldn't mind looking at a music store.

"But you're in charge of lunch," I add quickly.

We pull up in front of Budget CDs Music Store. Edward walks around to my side and opens my door for me. He entwines his hand with mine again as we head towards the store. He steps aside and opens that door for me as well. I couldn't stop the blush rushing into my cheeks. I smile at him as I enter the store.

It's a small, but welcoming little place. There are shelves filled with tons of CDs and three isles filled with square wooden boxes in the middle of the store that are also filled with CDs. My jaw dropped as I begin to explore the store. I shuffle through the boxes of Cds, finding the 30 seconds to mars and Evanescence CDs that I want. I find a Linkin Park CD that I think Edward may be into. He seems like he'd listen to them. I keep searching through the isle section of the CDs, looking for Sia's new CB, but I can't find it. I take to the shelves, but it's not there either. Frustrated, I go to the counter and ask if they have it. The old man looks up at me through his glasses with an annoyed look on his face. _Surely he can't be annoyed about someone asking for help? That's what his job is._

"The computer says we have one copy left. Did you look under S in the Pop section?" he asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

_Is he serious? Did I look like an idiot?_ I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Yes. But I'll double check."

I shake my head as I walk away. Customer service is getting ridiculous these days. As I head towards the back pop section, I notice Edward looking at the S section with a CD in his hand. I squint my eyes as I turn my head to the side to get a better look at it. My jaw drops in shock. He turns around as I approach him. Taking in my expression, a puzzled look covers his features.

"Where did you find that?" I ask exasperatedly.

He looks at the CD then back to me and smiles.

"What's your favorite song by her?" he asks me.

"Right here in the S section. Why?"

I lean back against the wall as he closes the distance between us. He leans beside me, looking down at me expectantly.

"I've been looking for that CD for about 20 minutes. I looked earlier, but it wasn't there. I went and asked the dude up the front and he said to go look here. But I already had. I thought 'hey, why not just double check?' So I came here to do that, then saw you had it."

I frown at my wasted effort when I could have just asked Edward if he'd seen it. I hear him chuckling before he pushes himself off the wall.

"Oh, yeah. I found this. I don't know if you like them or not." I hand him the Linkin Park CD before adding, "But I thought I'd ask anyway."

He smiles down at the CD then his eyes met mine and his smile turns into a grin.

"I love Linkin Park. Thanks." I smile back at him. This time, I'm the one who entwines our hands and lead ourselves to the front desk to pay.

"So, you like Sia?" I ask as we head out of the store.

"I've heard some of her songs, she has a unique voice. I actually love the Piano work done in her songs more than anything. What about you?"

I smile to myself as the answer comes easily. "God, there are so many that i love. But Breathe Me, I Go To Sleep, Soon We'll Be Found and Day Too Soon are definitely my favourites. Her songs are filled with so much heartache and longing, but you can still obviously hear the love as well. And she can create the most up beat and fun songs as well."

"Like i said, she's unique," he adds before smiling at me.

I look up at him and smile.

* * *

As I let my mind wander, I still can't believe that I'm here, on a first date with Edward. I feel like I'm not worthy for a minute of his time, yet he surprises me by coming to talk to me and hang out with me every time he sees me. Every time he looks at me with those eyes, I get lost in them and can't think properly.

"Here we are," Edward snaps me out of my mind. I look up to see a beautiful secluded park with a blanket folded up with a basket next to it.

"Wow. How did you do this?" I ask him as I follow after him.

"I had a little help." His lips turn into that crooked smile of his. And I know I won't get any more information out of him.

He picks up the blanket, throwing it out into a straight square in front of him. I sit down next to him as he begins to pull the contents out of the basket. He pulls out two plastic plates, two plastic wine glasses, a bottle of apple cider, a round metal container that clearly has hot food in it, a clear dish of mixed fruit, and a tub of cookies-n-cream ice cream. _How did he know that's my favorite? _I wonder to myself. I smile anyway.

"Wow. This looks amazing. You out did yourself," I say as I look over at him. He smiles at me then begins to serve out the food. The hot food turned out to be Ravioli. Another one of my favorite foods.

We chat casually while we eat. Edward forces me to let him feed me which is weird at first, but then it's kind of cute. He tells me more about his family, I avoid mine. He tells me he plays the piano and occasionally the guitar too, but the piano is his real passion. I tell him I used to play the piano too, but eventually gave it up because of my lack of coordination. This isn't true. My mom left, and she was the one paying for the lessons, taking me to them and encouraging me. Now, all it ever does is bring back bad memories. So instead, I tell him how I took up the hobby of singing. Edward wants me to sing right then and there, but I refuse. No way am I embarrassing myself like that. We talk about simple things like our favorite colors— mine being purple, his being dark blue— to our favorite musicians and authors, which we find out we have much similar taste.

It begins to get chilly, and the sun begins to slowly go down. I help him pack everything up before we head back to the car. He places his jacket around my shoulders and entwines his hand with mine.

* * *

We drive back to my house with the radio playing lightly in the background. We spark up small conversations, but mainly just sit in the comfortable silence whilst we keep glancing at each other and giving each other smiles. Edward lifts up our hands and kisses the back of mine. I lean over and rest my head on his shoulder, sighing contently as I close my eyes. I feel his lips press into my hair. I smile to myself at the gesture.

As we pull into my street, I suddenly become hyper-aware of my living arrangements again. I freeze, leaning forward as I try to get a better look down the street. Edward gives me a quizzical stare as we pull into my driveway. Charlie isn't home yet. I visibly relax. I get out of Edward's car before he has to walk all the way around to my side again. I meet him at the front of the car, and entwine my hand with his as I head up the driveway. I sit on the porch steps and pull him down next to me. I go to rest my head on his shoulder again, but he lifts his arm and wraps it around me. I snuggle into his chest as he traces circles on my back.

We sit there silently, looking up at the beautiful night sky. We must have just gazed up at the sky for hours because when I looked at my phone it says it's seven o'clock. Charlie will be home in two hours.

"Oh, I didn't notice the time. You should probably get back to your family." He looks up at me as I stand up and stretch.

"Can you ask Alice to come over tomorrow? If she isn't busy, I mean? I feel bad for ignoring her all the time." I bite my bottom lip, waiting for his answer. He stands up and wraps his arms around me.

"She'd love that, Bella. Thanks." I wrap my arms around his waist and give him a squeeze before letting go. He looks down at me with a content smile on his face.

"Thanks for today," I tell him in a quiet voice. "It was fun, and the food was great." His small smile turns up into a big grin.

"You're welcome."

He leans forward. My heart begins to race as his face comes closer to mine. I close my eyes expecting his lips to meet mine, but they don't. Instead, they meet my forehead. He turns and walks back towards his car.

"Edward?" I call to him. "Do you want to come over after Alice leaves tomorrow? We could work on our biology homework, if you haven't already started. I know I haven't. And I should probably start it. Or we could do something else? If you–"

"Bella," He cuts me off as he laughs lightly. "Text me when Ali's about to leave, and I'll be right over." He smiles his crooked smile, turns on his heels then gets in his car and drives away.

* * *

I don't know how long I stand in the middle of my driveway, but I bet I look like a freak just standing here with a huge grin on my face. I eventually go inside and get Charlie's dinner out of the freezer. It's just lasagna. I'm still full from my lunch with Edward, so I don't feel like eating anything. I'm placing his plate on the bench as he walks through the door. I pass him through the lounge room as I head towards the stairs.

"Your dinner's on the bench. I just heated it up for you." He grunts at me and continues walking to the kitchen. No _"thanks, Bella."_ No nothing. _Typical, _I think.

As I ascend the stairs, I hear him sliding the stool away from the bench.

I have a quick shower, and then get ready for bed. As I begin to pull out the CDs I bought earlier in the day, I notice I have an extra one. Placebo; Battle for the Sun. _Edward. _I think._ That's so sweet of him to sneak it in like that._ I place the CD into my CD player, turning the volume down so it's light background music.

I brush my teeth before crawling into bed. Letting the voice of Brian Molko, sing me to sleep, with a smile on my face.

* * *

******Hey guys! Sorry this chapters a day late! I went to the Big Day Out music festival yesterday and didn't get a chance to update! Thankyou for your support, adding this to your story alerts and favourites! thankyou to the ones who are reviewing! It means a lot! A HUGE shout out to my amazing Beta Jenndur. I'm pretty sure i'd be lost without you!**

******My computer is back to normal and not freezing anymore, so i can FINALLY get back to writing :)**  


**-Natalee-x**


	10. Confrontations

_**Chapter Ten –**_ (Confrontations)

* * *

**EPOV**

As I awake from my deep sleep, I roll onto my back and stretch out my muscles. The sound of Linkin Park envelops my ears as I remember I put the CD on repeat before going to bed. I wonder if Bella found the Sia CD I put in her bag. She looked so disappointed that she didn't find it. After she handed me the Linkin Park CD, I couldn't not sneak the Sia CD into her bag.

She seemed to enjoy the picnic. I asked Alice if she would have any idea about what Bella's favorite foods were. Luckily for me, they had done an 'all about me' survey in English on our first day back. And because Bella and Alice were seated together, they had to do it on each other. I can just imagine what Alice's paper would look like, probably three whole pages long. Poor Bella.

When we got back to her place, we sat on her porch steps, looking up at the night sky, letting time pass by. As I was leaving, she asked me to ask Alice to come over the next day. I took her in my arms then kissed her forehead before going to leave. She then began to blabber on about me coming over once she leaves, and tried to think of something that we could do. I cut her off and told her to text me when Alice is about to leave. She looked so vulnerable at that moment. Her cheeks were flushed with her bottom lip in her mouth. I don't know why she's so insecure.

* * *

I drag myself out of bed and head downstairs to get some breakfast. I poor a glass of milk as Alice comes into the kitchen. She jumps up on the bench and smiles down at me.

"Hey, Eddie!" she greets me excitedly.

"Hey, Ali. You heading over to Bella's?"

"Yeah, I was just about to leave. What are you doing for the day?" she asks as she jumps down off the counter.

"I don't know, probably just play some piano and listen to some music until you leave Bella's. Then I'll head over to hers." I lean back against bench. Alice is looking at me with a huge grin on her face.

"What?" I ask her as I quirk my brow at her. She laughs, shaking her head.

"Nothing," she says with a smirk on her face.

"I'll see you later," She adds before turning on her heels and walking out of the room.

"Alice!" I call out to her as I walk into the lounge room.

She stops and turns around with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Try not to torture her, will you?" She narrows her eyes and pokes her tongue out at me before walking out the front door. I laugh to myself as I head over to my piano.

I run my hands across the keys softly, before pressing down on them and continuing the music piece I started the other day. Realizing now, that it's inspired by Bella. I lean over the piano putting my all into it, creating new notes, repeating others. My fingers run over the keys quickly, and then they begin to slow. I don't know how long I've been playing for, but to me it doesn't seem like a long time. I can play the piano for hours on end and get completely lost in the music, not realizing how long I've been playing for.

As I continue to play, my mind wanders back to Bella. Remembering how she said she used to play, but gave up because of her coordination. She also said she sang for a hobby. I can't help but wonder if she's good or not. I can picture her with a soft angelic voice, but still have the capability of turning it into a deeper one. I wonder if she would ever sing for me while I played the piano. Maybe I'll ask her one day.

I stop playing and look up at the clock. 1pm. I've been playing for over three hours. I head upstairs to have a shower. When I'm done, I get dressed in a pair of black jeans and a plain white shirt. My leather jacket is on the back of my chair. As I go to grab it, I notice I have a text message from Bella. I smile to myself as I open the phone to read it.

_**Hey.  
Alice is leaving in about half an hour.  
Did you still want to come over?  
-B**_

I shake my head at her clear uncertainty. I notice that it was sent twenty minutes ago. I type out my message, and then click send.

_**Okay, cool.  
I wouldn't miss out on a day with you for the world.  
See you soon beautiful.  
-E**_

I can imagine the blush creeping into her cheeks as she reads the last sentence. She has the most beautiful blush I've ever seen. I'm going to make sure I make it appear more often.

I put my phone in my pocket before heading back downstairs. I go into the kitchen and make a chicken sandwich. I eat it quickly as I grab out a can of coke from the fridge. I head into the lounge room and pick up my car keys. I head out the door and into my car.

* * *

I arrive at Bella's to see Alice's bright yellow Porsche still there. I get out of the car, walk up her driveway and knock on her door. The door swings open and on the other side is Bella with a big grin on her face.

"Hey," she greets me in a soft voice.

"Hey," I reply before smiling at her and walking inside.

"Thanks for the CD—"

"Eddie!" Alice exclaims as she descends the stairs.

"I didn't notice the time, I'll head off now then," she says in a cheerful voice.

"Oh, Alice. You don't have to go, you can stay too if you want." I can see the blush on her face and the worried look in her eyes. She honestly thinks she's being rude to Alice.

"Don't be silly, Bella. It's fine. I'll leave you two love birds alone," she says before winking at Bella. She heads out the door and Bella follows behind her.

"Thanks for coming over, Alice!" she calls out to her as she heads to her car.

"No problem, Bells. I'll see you on Monday!" She waves before getting into her car and driving away.

Bella turns around and heads back inside towards the living room. I follow behind her and see that she has all her biology homework spread out on the lounge room floor. My eyes go wide at the amount. I always thought she was a top student and not falling behind.

"Wow. You weren't kidding about not starting your homework," I say as I take in the huge pile of papers.

She looks at me, then to the papers on the floor, then back to me again. She blushes and looks down at the ground.

"Oh, right. Well, we can do something else if you want?" she says quietly. I realize then that I've probably upset her. I sit down next to her on the floor and take her hand in mine. She looks up at me and gives me a small smile. I smile back at her. A piece of hair falls over her face; I tuck it behind her hair, letting my palm linger on her cheek.

"It's alright. We should work on it. You can't keep putting it off forever." My lips form up into my crooked grin that I know she loves. She place her hand on top of mine and entwines them. She scoots closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder.

"Thanks. I just keep putting it off because my head hasn't been in the right place lately."

I kiss the top of her head and run circles on her back. She sighs before moving away from me and picking up her first set of homework. We work together quietly at first, then casually begin to chat. I tuck more strands of hair behind her ears, causing her to blush every time. She grabs other parts of her homework and comes and sits in front of me, leaning against my chest. We work through the problems together with our hands entwined. We finally finish her homework three hours later.

As Bella gets up and heads over to the TV to put in a DVD, I get up and sit on the couch. She comes and sits next to me. I lift my arm to allow her to lay on my chest. She presses play and the beginning credits for Step Brothers start. As we watch the movie, Bella constantly laughs at my side and quotes lines from the movie. She's obviously seen this a lot. I laugh along with her as it is a very funny movie. As the movie progresses, Bella slides down the couch and rests her head on my lap. I stroke my hands through her hair and see a smile play up onto her lips. As the end credits roll. She lays on her back and looks up at me. I smile down at her, causing her to grin back at me.

"Did you want to stay for dinner?" she asks. I look into her eyes and can see that she's beginning to relax around me now.

"Sure," I reply with a grin on my face.

She sits up, grabbing my hand as she gets off the couch and heads into the kitchen. I sit on a stool while I watch her move around the kitchen, grabbing pots and pans out of the cupboards. She certainly looks like she's in her element.

"What's for dinner?" I ask to start conversation. She looks over at me and smiles sheepishly.

"Um, spaghetti. Is that alright? I can cook something else." I laugh at her, causing her to place her hands on her hips and quirk her brow at me.

"What's so funny?" she asks in an annoyed voice.

"You," I reply. I shake my head and smile at her before adding, "Spaghetti is fine, Bella. Stop stressing out."

"Oh, sorry," she replies as a blush covers her cheeks. She continues to work in the kitchen. I help her unpack the dish washer as she waits for the pasta to boil. I set two plates on the bench with a knife and fork, and two glasses. She stirs the pasta before sizzling the sauce. She serves up our plates then pours water into our glasses.

I begin to eat and my taste buds go wild. Man, Bella can really cook.

"This tastes great, Bella. You're an amazing cook," I praise her. She looks at me and smiles.

"Thanks. I've been cooking since I was eight." There's a hint of sadness to her voice. I don't question her about it because I don't want to upset her further. Instead, I invite her to Jasper and Rosalie's party next week.

"Jazz and Rose are having a huge birthday party next weekend. You wanna be my date?"

She chokes on her drink, and for a second I think she won't want to go. She smiles at me then places her glass back down on the table.

"Alice was talking about that today. She said you'd probably ask me."

I roll my eyes at the mention of my cousin. Typical Alice.

"Yeah, that sounds like Alice. Will you come then?" I ask her again. I hold her gaze and she nods slowly.

"Yeah, I'd love to." She continues to eat the rest of her dinner as a small smile covers her lips.

Bella's front door opens causing her to freeze.

"_Shit!"_

She curses so softly I'm not quite sure if she actually said it. She practically jumps off her stool and chucks our dishes in the sink. She walks over to me just as a tall man with a mustache in a police uniform walks into the kitchen. He pauses and eyes both of us in a stony glare. Bella latches onto my hand and I squeeze her back reassuringly.

"What are you doing here?" he asks her in a cold voice.

I take a glance at her to see her eyes narrow.

"I _live_ here, Charlie," she says in an annoyed voice.

I notice that this is obviously her father, but she calls him by his first name. He narrows his eyes at her and walks over to the fridge, pulling out a beer.

"Anyway," she continues. "This is Edward Cullen. His family is new in town." He looks towards me. I stand up and give him a small smile.

"You that new Doctor Cullen's boy?" he asks as he looks me up and down.

"Yes sir, it's nice to meet you." I extend my hand to him. He takes it firmly and glances between me and Bella.

"Are you two dating?" he asks with a hint of anger in his voice.

Simultaneously, Bella exclaimed no while I said yes.

"Um, I, we, wait what?" She looks to me with alarm in her eyes. So maybe I wasn't clear enough that we're dating now.

Charlie grunts then sits on one of the stools. Bella leans in closer to me as if she's scared of him.

"Try not to screw anything up, Bella. He might leave you just like—"

"CHARLIE, STOP! C'mon Edward, I think I feel like going for a drive."

She takes a hold of my hand before leading me out of the house and down to my car. I open the door for her, watching her intently as she slides inside. I glance over at her as we pull out onto the road. Her eyes look glazed over as if she's about to cry. I take a hold of her hand and pull it up to my lips for a kiss. She leans back into the seat and sighs.

"What was that your dad was going on about back there?" I ask her carefully.

She sighs again, and then runs her free hand down her face. "Nothing. And he's not my dad. Not anymore." I can hear the pain in her voice, along with anger.

"Oh. Is that why you call him Charlie? Because you don't see him as your father?"

"Pretty much," she replies in a quiet voice.

"You can stay at mine tonight. Alice won't mind having a sleepover." I glance at her. She looks over at me, gracing me with a small smile.

"Thanks, so, we're dating now, huh?" she asks through a laugh. I laugh with her and give her hand a squeeze.

"Yep," I reply with confidence in my voice.

She leans over and rests her head on my shoulder. She falls asleep on the way to my house. I call Alice and explain what happened. She's more than happy to have Bella stay in her room with her.

* * *

When we arrive home, I have to shake Bella awake. Her eyes are bloodshot, clearly because she was crying silently to herself. We walk hand in hand up to the front door. I open it for her and she walks in front of me. Alice is sitting on the couch and jumps up as soon as she sees Bella. She engulfs her in a tight hug. Bella leans in towards me and wraps her arms around my waist. I pull her close to me and squeeze her tightly. I kiss her forehead before Alice takes her hand and leads her upstairs.

I head upstairs not long after them. I have a shower, and then crawl into bed. I eventually fall asleep with my thoughts filled of Bella and what happened back at her house. I've never seen a father look at his daughter so coldly before.

* * *

**Some alone time for B&E and a little bit of a show down with Charlie and Bella. Isn't Edward such a gentleman offering Bella to stay at his house, in Alice's room.**

**Thanks to my babe, Jenn for Beta'ing this mess. I've learn't more about grammar from you than my years at school. Haha.**

**Please review :)**

**-Natalee-x**


	11. Aftermath

_**Chapter Eleven**__ - (Aftermath)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

_His eyes are filled with hatred as he stares at me._

"_You're going to screw everything up with that boy."_

_I try to speak to defend myself, but I can't. My voice won't work._

"_You always ruin everything you touch."_

_I try to step backwards and put some distance between us, but I can't. I'm frozen to the spot._

"_You're worthless and no one will ever love you."_

_He stalks towards me with his fists clenched at his sides._

"_And if someone does love you, you'll just hurt them and then they'll leave you."_

_The words sting me as if they're filled with venom._

"_I hate you."_

_He lifts his fist up and pulls it back. It comes flying towards my face at the speed of light._

* * *

I jolt up right, gasping for breath as the tears stream down my face. I wrap my arms around my legs and hug myself. I hear Alice's door opening and look around, only just noticing that she isn't here. She walks through the door, holding two coffees. She takes in my appearance and smiles at me sadly. She walks over to the bedside table and places the cups down. She sits down on the side of her bed and strokes my arm.

"How are you feeling?" she asks me in concern.

"I'm alright. Just a nightmare." I reach out and grab the cup of coffee, taking a small sip.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I might as well just tell her what's going on. I don't have to tell her everything about Mom. I can just tell her about the nightmare and how Charlie treats me. If she starts asking more questions that relate to why he treats me the way he does, I'll just avoid them or tell her I don't want to go that far into details. I glance at her and can see the patience and worry in her eyes.

"It was just about Charlie," I confess. "He was just saying some horrible things. And it was like I was frozen to the spot and I had no voice. I couldn't defend myself. He said he hated me. And then he, he hit me again. That's when I woke up." The tears stream down my face as I remember the dream and the way Charlie has treated me over the years. Never in my life has he hit me before a few weeks ago.

"Oh, Bella. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. It was just a dream." She scrambles up onto the bed and embraces me in a hug.

"But he does. I know he does. He treats me like I'm his housekeeper, not his daughter. He always says such horrible things to me. I don't know what to do, Alice. I don't think I can take it anymore. He's never hit me before. Ever. Until the other week. He's getting out of control. He's always drinking. He's the Chief of Police for Christ sake and he's always drunk!"

I begin to sob uncontrollably, letting the pain overtake me. She strokes my back and shushes me in my ear.

"I don't know what to say, Bella. That sounds so horrible. Just, I don't know. If you ever feel scared or alone. You can come and stay over here anytime. Mum and Dad wouldn't mind."

She leans away from me and smiles as she pats me on the head. There's a knock on the door, then Edward pops his head in. His eyes skim over me and I can see the concern in his eyes. God, he's almost as bad as Alice. I smile at him to let him know that I'm fine. He grins back and steps into the room.

"Morning, ladies."

His voice is husky from sleep. It sounds so sexy. I look him up and down. His hair is disheveled, pointing in all different directions. How can a God like Edward want to be with someone like me? My eyes meet his and I get lost in them. His lips turn up into his crooked grin, causing me to blush and look away.

"Hey," I greet him in a quiet voice.

"Um, I really need to have a shower. So." I pull the covers back and begin to get out of the bed. Alice realizes what I'm doing and jumps up too.

"Oh, yeah! I'll grab you a spare set of clothes."

Alice runs out of the room, leaving me and Edward alone.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask him in a quiet voice. I'm so freaked out about him hearing what Charlie did to me. I don't need him freaking out on me like Alice did. I look down at the ground when I feel the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Long enough."

"Please don't say anything, Edward. He's never hit me before. I'll work something out. But, please don't tell anyone."

Tears start to fall down my face. I wipe them away roughly trying to get control of myself. Edward walks towards me and wraps his arms around me.

"I won't tell anyone, love. I promise."

I wind my arms around his back and hold on to him tightly. I feel his lips connect with the top of my head. I smile to myself and sigh contently.

"How did you sleep? Apart from the obvious nightmare?" he asks.

I step out of his embrace and wrap my arms around myself. I just want to forget about everything that happened last night. I don't want to relive it. "As good as I could get. What about you?"

"About the same."

He strokes my cheek and cups my chin, forcing me to look at him. I hold back my tears and take another deep breath just as Alice walks back into the room.

"I got some clothes off Esme. They should fit you. I'll leave them on the bed."

I turn to Alice and smile at her thankfully. I walk into the bathroom, and Edward is still standing there as I close the door.

"Come _on_, Edward. Give her some privacy."

* * *

I feel my cheeks heat up as I think about Edward waiting out in Alice's room, listening to me shower. I can't explain the way Edward makes me feel — I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've never met anyone like him. He's so kind and compassionate. The way he looks at me, I've never seen anyone look at me like that before. I can't believe that I'm dating someone as beautiful as him.

I hop into the shower and wash myself quickly. I turn around and let the hot water run down my back, loosening my muscles. I wash my face away of the dried salty tears. Once I'm done, I wrap the towel around me and walk out into Alice's room. I change quickly, just in case someone comes in.

I tie my hair into a side plat as I walk down the stairs. I walk into the living room and everyone greets me with smiles. I go and sit next to Edward and cuddle into his chest. He strokes my arms and kisses me on the top of my head again. He leans down and I can feel his breath on my neck before he whispers in my ear, "I can tell you've got a lot of stuff going on, and I'll let you tell me about it when you're ready, if you want to. I just want you to know I'm always here if you need to talk about anything."

"Thanks," I whisper back. I turn my head and press my lips to his cheek.

How is it, for some reason, he can tell that I've been through a lot and still want to stick by me? He makes me want to tell him all of my secrets and deepest fears. It's like he gets me without me even having to tell him anything. Every day I'm with him, I can feel my walls coming down. I've started to become so comfortable around him and Alice, like its second nature or something. Never in my life did I ever think I would be this comfortable around people again, let alone cuddle up into a boy's chest.

Whenever I'm with anybody else, it sometimes gets so hard to be myself, but I feel so different whenever I'm with Edward. Especially when he looks at me the way he's looking at me now. Every time he looks at me with that glimmer in his eyes, it makes my heart race like a hummingbird's wings. Every moment I spend with him, feels like its bringing me back to life. My life always felt so dark as though I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, but now it feels so much easier to deal with.

I know I still have Charlie to deal with, and I still have my trust issues, but I'm actually beginning to feel happy again. Alice is a big part of that too. She's such a great friend and always has my back. I glance over at her and see that she's watching me and Edward with a soft smile on her face. I smile at her sheepishly as the blush runs into my cheeks. I haven't felt this content in a long time.

* * *

"Alright, who wants lunch? I'm _starving."_ I look up and see Emmett standing up. He grins at me and waggles his eyebrows. I laugh along with everyone else.

"You're _always _starving, Em." Edward rolls his eyes and shakes his head at his brother.

"Man's gotta eat, man."

"Yeah, but you're more like a baboon."

"Shut up, Ed! I am not."

I glance behind Emmett and see Rosalie walking up behind him. She whacks him on the back of the head and quirks her brow at him.

"Ow! What was that for?"

He rubs the back of his head at the same time she rolls her eyes at him.

"For being such a child. Honestly, babe. Sometimes I think you're a nine year old, not a nineteen year old."

He pouts his lips and begins to make puppy dog eyes at her before he pulls her into his arms and kisses her passionately.

"Yeah, but you still love me."

Rosalie beams up at him as he looks into her eyes with so much love it makes me want to look away.

"That I do. But you can get your own lunch. None of us are your slaves."

"Aww, baby! Why you gotta ruin all the fun?"

He turns around, heading into the kitchen. She follows behind him, as do Alice and Jasper. I go to get up as well, but Edward pulls me back down. He laughs at my confused expression and grins at me.

"What are you doing? Don't you want lunch?" I ask him.

He shakes his head and strokes my face with the back of his hand.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? You're nothing like any girl I've ever met. They're all so superficial and cake on their make-up. Thinking it makes them look beautiful, but real beauty is natural beauty. I'm so glad you're nothing like them, Bella."

I'm lost for words. No one has ever said anything so sweet to me before. The butterflies are zooming around in my stomach. He smiles at me as he lifts my hand to his face and plants a soft kiss in my palm.

I smile at him as he runs his hands through my hair and pulls my face closer to his. I close my eyes as his lips press softly against mine. His hand travels to the nape of my neck as I run my hands up his chest into the back of his hair. His tongue runs along my bottom lip, willing me to open for him. I oblige and his tongue darts into my mouth. I don't know what's overcome me and where this confidence comes from, but I straddle him as he begins to kiss me slowly and sensually. How long we kiss for, is lost on me. We eventually break away from each other. I rest my forehead against his as I catch my breath. I bring my fingers up to my lips. I can't believe he kissed me. And like _that._ Man, he's an awesome kisser.

He cups my face in his hands and pulls my face away from him. I pout at him, causing him to lean in and peck me on the lips softly.

"How was that for our first kiss?" he jokes.

"Amazing." I grin at him and wrap my arms around his neck.

"You know how you said you sing?" he asks, running his fingers along my neck and across my collarbone. It's really distracting.

"Mmm," I mumble incoherently.

"Well, I was wondering if you would sing for me, while I played the piano."

My eyes snap open, looking down at him. _Is he serious?_ He looks at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. I've never sang in front of anyone except for my mother, and the last time I did that was when I was twelve.

"Um, I don't even know if I _can_ sing anymore."

"I'm sure you can. A gift like that doesn't just disappear." he looks at me with eager eyes. I bite my bottom lip, unable to think of what to do. He seems to really want to do this. "Alright then."

He grins up at me and all I can do is grin back. He entwines his hand through mine and pulls me off the couch, leading us back towards the stairs. He walks over to his piano and lifts up the case, running his hand softly along the keys. He sits down, looks over at me and then pats the seat with a huge smile on his face. His eyes are shining with excitement. I swallow the lump that forms in my throat and walk over and sit beside him.

"What do you want to sing?"

"What can you play?"

"Pretty much about anything."

I laugh as I run through all the options in my brain. There's one song I've been listening too and singing to myself a lot lately. It's on Sia's new album Edward got me, and a lot of the lyrics relate to how I felt when my mom left, though the song is about a woman and a man.

"Alright, you know how you snuck in Sia's new CD that day?"

"Yeah," he says through a chuckle.

"Well there's this song on there called 'I Go to Sleep.' Have you heard it?"

He smiles at me before turning around and pressing his hands down on the keys. I watch as his fingers float effortlessly throughout the keys as the melody fills the room. He was right about the piano music in her songs, this melody is amazing. I take a small breath before I begin to sing the first line and then the chorus. My voice is huskier than I remember, kind of similar to Sia's voice herself. I start the second verse before heading straight into the chorus again.

"_I look around me_

_And feel you are ever so, close, to me._

_Each tear that flows from my eye,_

_Brings back memories of you, to me,_

_I go to sleep,_

_And imagine that you're there with me._

_I go to sleep,_

_And imagine that you're there with me,"_

I take a quick glance at Edward as I continue to sing. He's completely lost in the music, I'm not even sure if he can even hear me singing. He feels my gaze on him and looks up at me and smiles without missing a beat of the melody. I've never seen anyone play the piano like him before. I keep my eyes on his as I continue onto the end of the song.

"_When morning comes again,_

_I have the loneliness you, left me._

_Each day drags by_

_Until finally my time descends, on me,"_

The emotions of the song begin to get to me. I haven't really let my feelings go this bad when I sing this song because of how it causes the pain in my chest to escalate to a million times worse. Every time I would start to feel that pain in my chest, I would stop singing and change the song. I know my mother may have abandoned me, but that doesn't mean I don't miss her every day. I close my eyes as a tear slips down my cheek as I finish the last line of the song. Edward stops playing abruptly and cups my face in his hands.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm alright, just an emotional song."

I give him a smile to reassure him that I'm fine. I can still see the concern in his eyes. I place my hands over his and lean in closer to him. I press my lips to his and kiss him softly. I can feel him smile against my lips, causing me to smile too. Someone clears their throat. I turn my head and find the culprit is Emmett with a big grin on his face.

"Was that you singing? It had to be you. I know Edward's a girl sometimes, but I know he doesn't _sing _like a girl, and even if he did no way would he sound _that _good."

He flashes me a grin and I blush at the compliment.

"Shut up, Emmett. At least I can _hold _a tune," Edward scolds him. His eyes narrow, but it doesn't seem to faze Emmett. He flips Edward the bird before looking back at me.

"You should like, have a mini concert for the family or something. Jazz plays the drums and guitar, and Ali can play the guitar and sing too. And of course, this dickhead can do all of that as well, the show off."

I laugh at Emmett's playful banter. He's the kind of person I would wish for a big brother. Someone who looks super intimidating and can kick someone's ass for you, but they're also really kind and playful.

"Emmett, _shut up_. God, this is the first time she's even sang, give her a break."

I turn my body so I'm straddling Edward on the seat. I wrap my hands around his neck and look into his eyes. He smiles at me and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Edward, I wouldn't mind doing that one day. It might help with my confidence issues–"

"BOO-YAH, I WIN!"

I almost fall off of Edward's lap after Emmett's outburst. I look up to see him fist pumping the air and jumping around like a lunatic. I can feel Edward's chest vibrating with laughter and I join in. I look up at the clock on the wall and notice the time.

"I should probably get home."

Both of them stop laughing abruptly and look at me with concern and shock on their faces. I feel my features turn into a puzzled look, but then realize they're probably worried about what happened last night. Especially Edward now that he knows it was Charlie who hit me. But I can't hide at the Cullen's and avoid Charlie forever. He's probably already forgotten about it anyway because of all the alcohol he consumes. I'm honestly surprised he hasn't gotten liver failure yet.

"Are you sure? You can stay here again tonight," Edward asks hesitantly. I give him a reassuring smile as I climb out of his lap.

"I don't have any more clothes, and I can't keep borrowing Esme's. I'll be fine. Really." I lean down and kiss him on the lips before pulling him up off the seat. "C'mon, I'll go say goodbye to everyone now."

* * *

I say my goodbyes to everyone and promise Alice we'll hang out again soon as I'm hugging her. Jasper hugs me and tells me I'm welcome here anytime. Emmett lifts me up and spins me around, placing me back on the ground with a grin on his face.

"Don't be a stranger," he demands.

Rosalie gives me a small smile, which surprises me. _Maybe she's just being polite to appease everyone else? _I smile back at her anyway, just in case. I don't want her to hate me anymore than she does. Edward entwines his hand through mine and leads me out to the car. The drive home goes surprisingly fast and before I know it, we're in my driveway.

Charlie's police cruiser is in the driveway and I automatically tense up. Edward squeezes my hand before he releases it and rubs my back soothingly. He gets out of the car and walks around to let me out. He walks me up to my door and lingers there for a while watching me intently.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay at mine, babe? You can go grab some stuff and just come back."

_Babe? I could get used to this._

"No, it's alright. I can't avoid him forever. And he's probably already passed out. I'll be fine. But thanks, I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"You want me to pick you up?"

"Um, yeah okay. Sure, thanks."

I didn't take notice of him closing the distance between us until I take in his proximity now. I smile at him as his hand travels to the nape of my neck and his other brushes a strand of hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear. He leans in closer and kisses me softly. I wrap my arms around his neck as his hands slide down my back hold me closer to him. I smile against his lips before he pulls away. I peck him on the lips before separating from him and walking into my front door.

I walk into the living room and notice there's no Charlie. He must have actually made it to his room for once. I glance out the window to see Edward driving away. A weird feeling pains me in my chest. I know then that the closer I get to Edward, the more it's going to hurt to be separated from him. I wrap my arms around my chest as the air suddenly gets chillier. I walk up stairs and get a start on my homework. I work on it for about an hour before getting sick of it and head into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I stop in my tracks as I take in the state of the bathroom. The basin is filthy; Dad's facial hair is everywhere from when he's shaved. There is a faint layer of dirt over everything and a bloody tissue in the middle of the sink. Probably from Charlie's current nose bleeds. I grab the cleaning products from out of the bottom cupboard and scrub everything down.

When I'm done, I brush my teeth and change into my pajamas. I climb into my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I won't let Charlie get me down anymore. I won't listen to his accusations and abuse. And if he hits me again, I will report him. From now on, I'm going to _really_ try and be happy.

Now that I have Edward, Alice and the rest of the Cullens in my life, doesn't seem that difficult to be happy anymore.

* * *

**Sorry it's late guys, I've been going bonkers lately and i had a stressful week! I completely lost track of the date, and forgot to remind Jenn that i needed the chapter... But god, love her. She sent it to me as soon as she could, bless her! I'm about to go sign up for Soccer with my Sister. Yay for fitness and exercise, lol! I hope you enjoyed the little singing performance :P Let me know what you think in a review xo**

**-Natalee-x**


	12. Simple days

**A/N:** _**Song;**__ tied together with a smile - Taylor Swift._

_**Chapter Twelve **__– (Simple Days)_

* * *

**_EPOV_**

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Bella since she left; I'm so worried about her. Her living arrangements with her father are obviously not good. When I overheard her and Alice talking and she mentioned he was the one that hit her, I wanted to drive over to her house and beat the shit out of him with a baseball bat, but I knew that wouldn't help Bella at all.

I stayed where I was and listened to the rest of their conversation. I felt bad for doing it, but I wanted to know what was going on. When I finally spoke up and let them know I was present, the panic in Bella's eyes was overwhelming. Her eyes began to water as she begged me not to tell anyone. I crossed the room and held her in my arms and promised her I wouldn't. I've never seen her so broken.

I don't know how a father can treat his own flesh and blood that way. I never got the chance to know my father, but I've only ever heard great things about him and how he used to treat me and my mother. Carlisle is the closest thing I've ever had to a father and he's always been there for me, supporting me and having my back all the time. He would never hit me or the rest of my family, but I guess sometimes you can't control yourself while you're under the influence of alcohol. Though, I know even then Carlisle would never hit any of us.

* * *

Spending time with Bella has been great. I look forward to having her by my side at school, now that she's pretty much my girlfriend. I have a quick shower and get dressed before I head downstairs and grab something to eat for breakfast on the way to school. I drive over to Bella's to pick her up like I said I would. I pull up to her house and see her playing with her phone while she waits on her porch steps. She looks up as I get out of the car. She walks over to me eagerly with a huge smile on her face. I take her in my arms and hold her tightly.

"Hey, baby."

She tilts her head back and licks her bottom lip. I smile at her as I lean my head forward and press my lips to hers. We start out slow then eventually end up kissing frantically and have to pull away to catch our breath.

"Hey yourself," she replies with a blush filling her cheeks.

I open the car door for her. She pecks me on the lips before climbing inside. I walk around to the driver's side and climb in. I pull out of her drive way and head towards the school. I rest my hand on her thigh and it doesn't take long for her to wind her hand through mine. She looks over to me and smiles before reaching her other hand out and placing it at the back of my neck and stroking it. It's such a simple gesture, but shows that she's a lot more comfortable around me.

"How was everything after I dropped you off?" I ask her cautiously.

"I'm alright. Nothing happened," she replies quietly. "He wasn't downstairs when I went in though. I think he may have actually made it to his room before passing out for once. I didn't check on him, but his cruiser was gone when I woke up this morning, so…"

"That's good then, if anything else happens –"

"I know, Edward. I'm not an idiot. I'll report it."

"I didn't say you were an idiot. I just hate that he puts you through this."

"I know you do. You're as bad as Alice." she pinches the bridge of her nose. That's something I do when I get frustrated or annoyed. I give her hand a squeeze.

"Just looking out for you, babe."

I glance at her quickly and see her sigh as she leans back into the seat.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Getting all snappy at you."

"Don't worry about it."

I bring our entwined hands up to my lips and kiss the back of her hand. She smiles at me before leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

"You better not do that if you want to survive the rest of the trip to school."

She giggles as she leans down into my arm. I press my lips to her forehead and run circles on the back of hand with my thumb. I hear her groan as we pull into the school parking lot. I look over at her and see the annoyed look on her face. I glance around the lot, but can't see anything that would provoke that mood from her.

"I hate school," she mumbles.

I begin to laugh as I realize that's what she's so annoyed about. I get out of the car and walk to her side to get the door for her. She raises her brow at me, and then narrows her eyes.

"What's so funny?" she asks in an annoyed voice.

"I didn't realize you hated school so much."

"That's because you're a newbie and haven't been here long enough to develop the hate for it."

"I'm not that new." She smiles at me as I hold out my hand for her. She takes it, stepping out of the way so I can shut her door. She leans against my car with an amused expression on her face.

"What?" I ask.

"Oh, you're pretty new to me."

I smirk at her and close the distance between us. I can hear her breathing accelerate as I run my hands into the back of her hair and then down her back, pulling her close to me. I lean down and press my lips to hers. I kiss her slowly at first because I know where in public, and I can already feel everyone's eyes on us. But when I'm kissing Bella, she brings out something from inside of me, and when she parts her lips, I don't hesitate to dart my tongue inside her mouth and kiss her more passionately. If they're gonna watch, I might as well put on a show. Her hands go into my hair and pull me closer to her.

We're interrupted by someone clearing their throat. We pull apart to see Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett in front of us. Emmett is waggling his eyebrows, Jasper has a smirk on his face, Alice is beaming and Rosalie has a small smile on her face. _Wait, what?_ Rosalie is smiling at us? That's not normal.

"It's called privacy for a reason, guys," Alice says through a giggle.

I don't take my eyes off Rosalie, something is different. Why doesn't she look like a hostile psycho path anymore? I quirk my brow at her and look at her quizzically. Her features turn to shock when she see's that I'm onto her.

"Um, Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asks quietly.

I look down at Bella to find that she's looking at me. I shrug my shoulders and figure it can't be anything bad if Rosalie of all people looks like she feels out of place. Bella looks back to Rosalie and gives her a small smile.

"Yeah, sure," she replies before pecking me on the lips.

Bella walks away from the rest of us with Rosalie close to her side. They go far enough away so we can't hear anything they're saying. I watch Bella closely for any signs of distress or discomfort. I begin to worry when I see tears well up in her eyes as she takes Rosalie's hand. The next emotions I see cover her face are shock, sadness, guilt, and then relief before Rosalie engulfs her in a hug. Bella's lips turn up into a smile as she hugs Rosalie back. I turn to the others and see that Alice has tears in her eyes, and Jasper and Emmet are looking at Rosalie with worried expressions. That's when I realize Rosalie must have told Bella about her past. When they return, Rosalie looks at us with an annoyed expression on her face.

"What? I can be nice when I want to."

"I'll be damned. So you actually have a heart?" I joke with her, knowing she'll just want to change the subject and not want everyone's sympathy.

"Edward!" Bella scolds me before slapping my arm. I look at her in shock before looking back to Rose.

"I take that back. You're turning her against me already. Look at her hitting me and shit."

Rosalie laughs as she takes in Bella's shocked expression.

"Whatever, loser. Bella and I have Trig now, so ciao."

Rosalie winds her arm through Bella's and steers her away from the rest of us.

"Well, that was different," Alice says.

* * *

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Everyone seems to be gossiping about me and Bella being together, but I couldn't give two shits what they think. I meet Bella outside of her gym class, causing her to look mortified. I look at with a confused expression on my face before she finally speaks.

"Oh my god. You didn't watch me, did you? This is so embarrassing!" Her cheeks turn red, causing me to chuckle at her.

"I didn't see anything. I'm just here to pick you up on the way to biology." I smile at her before leaning down and pressing my lips to hers. She smiles against my lips and sighs in relief.

"Good, I don't need you seeing that disaster zone."

I shake my head as I throw my arm over her shoulders, and lead us to biology.

"What did Rose say to you earlier?" I ask her even though I already know.

"She just apologized, and explained a few things, nothing big."

She smiles at me before wrapping her arm around my waist and leaning in closer to me.

* * *

Biology is boring as always. We have to work on labs. It's nothing me and Bella can't handle. In fact, we finish first. I help Bella pack up her things when the bell goes off. I carry her bag to the cafeteria with her hand entwined with mine. She makes me give her bag back when we line up to get our lunch. She fills up her tray and I carry it over to our table for her.

Everyone's eyes are on us and I can see that it's making her uncomfortable. She looks up at me and smiles at me sheepishly. I give her my crooked grin back. I look over at our table and see Rosalie standing up with a pissed off look on her face. I know that look anywhere. She's about to lash out. I quickly glance back at Bella before I hear her go off.

"DO YOU PEOPLE NOT KNOW THAT IT'S RUDE TO STARE?"

Bella's eyes go wide before leaning around me and looking at Rose. I look back at her and see that she's smiling at Bella. I put our trays down and pull Bella's chair closer to mine so I can drape my arm over the back of her chair. I glance around the cafeteria and notice that everyone has turned away and are focusing on their food or are in hushed conversations. Probably gossiping about how crazy Rose is.

"Jesus Christ, baby. You're one big firecracker," Emmett says with a huge grin on his face.

"_Big?_ Are you calling me fat?" she asks with an annoyed look on her face.

"_Fat?_ What? How'd you? _What?"_

Rosalie rolls her eyes before laughing lightly. "I'm only screwing with you, Em, I know you don't think I'm fat."

"Hell fucking no I don't. You're a beautiful, sexy bombshell."

Jasper sighs causing everyone to look at him. He runs his hand down his face.

"What is it, babe?" Alice asks him

"I'm just wondering if Edward and Emmett would burn into flames if they walked into a church with the foul language that comes out of their mouths."

"Hey! I haven't said shit," I say sticking up for myself.

Jasper raises his brow at me which causes me to laugh at my mistake.

"Oh, my bad."

Everyone joins in the laughter.

* * *

The rest of the week goes by pretty quickly. I pick Bella up in the mornings and she either walks to class with myself, Alice or Rosalie. Everyone seems to have gotten over or used to the fact that Bella and I are together. They don't stop and stare at us like we're people from the circus anymore. Well, Lauren and Jessica do, but as soon as Rosalie is near them, they practically run in the opposite direction which gives me a laugh. Alice, Bella and Rose have become fairly close. Bella comes over our house after school sometimes and they steal her away from me, dragging her upstairs to their rooms to have their girl talk or whatever.

I don't think I've ever been this happy before. Bella has brought something out from inside of me. Every time I see her or look into her eyes, this feeling erupts inside of me. I've never been this close to anyone before in my life. Every day with her just keeps getting better. The way her hair flows all around us when we're kissing and the way she whispers when she's shy drive me insane with happiness. She always manages to touch every single place in my heart. I could stay stuck in those moments with her forever.

* * *

On Friday, I suggest we go back to her place instead of mine this time. She agrees with a smile and a peck on my lips. We walk to the car and I open the door for her. I get in the driver's side and take off to her house. She turns the radio on and fiddles with the station until she finds something she's happy with. It's already halfway through the song but she closes her eyes and begins singing along to it anyway.

"_Hold on baby, you're losing it._

_The water's high, you're jumping into it_

_and letting go, and no one knows._

_That you cry but you don't tell anyone,_

_that you might not be the golden one.  
And you're tied together with a smile,_

_but you're coming undone,"_

The song continues with that same chorus, the notes getting higher and longer. Bella holds every single one of them. I've never heard anyone sing like she does. She has one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard. When the song ends, she looks over at me and smiles sheepishly. I smile back at her and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

"You have such a beautiful voice, babe."

She looks at me with shock on her face then quirks her brow at me.

"You can't honestly think you don't have a good voice?" I ask her incredulously.

She shrugs before playing with the hem of her shirt.

"I've never had compliments on it before. My mom used to tell me I had a great voice when I was little, but I just thought she was only saying that because she was my mother…"

"I'm sure she was telling the truth, look at you now."

She smiles sadly to herself and I realize she never talks about her mother. I entwine my hand with hers and squeeze it.

"You don't talk about your mom much."

"There's nothing to say."

"What does that mean?"

She looks over at me and I can see the pain in her eyes again. I pull into her driveway and turn off the ignition when she looks away from me.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter," she whispers quietly.

I turn around in my seat and take her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. I can see her holding back the tears and pull her close to me.

"I'm sorry; you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I kiss her forehead before getting out of the car. She meets me at the front of the car and walks into my arms and holds onto me tightly.

"I haven't seen her since I was thirteen," she whispers.

I pull her closer to me and walk us up to her front door. She fumbles through her bag, trying to find her keys. When she opens the door, she walks straight to the kitchen and pulls out two glasses and then the Apple Juice from her fridge and pours it into the glasses. I watch her intently as she works around the kitchen, obviously getting dinner ready.

"Why do you cook so early?" I ask her.

"To get it out of the way. I heat it up for Charlie and place it on the bench when I hear him pull into the driveway. Then I go upstairs."

"So you don't see him at all?"

"I try not to."

She sighs and walks over to me. I wrap my arms around her as she wraps her arms around my neck and leans down, pressing her lips to mine. I place my hands in the back pockets of her jeans, squeezing her ass softly as I pull her closer to me. I feel her lips form into a smile before I stand up and begin to deepen the kiss. _Well, the ass squeezing she likes. _I chuckle to myself as we end the kiss.

"Okay, I should probably finish off this dinner," she says as she pulls away from me.

When she turns around, slap her bum as she walks away causing her to squeal and laugh at the same time. She pulls out a package out of the freezer and I see that it's lasagna.

"You need me to help with anything?" I ask her.

"No. You're already too much of a distraction."

"Too hot to handle, am I?"

"Yes," she answers with a laugh.

"So, Jazz and Rose's party is tomorrow night. You know what you're gonna wear yet?" I ask her to change the subject.

"Um, Alice and Rose have something for me, but they haven't told me what it is. I don't know why."

"Because they're evil, that's why."

She laughs at that statement as she put on the oven mitts and pulls out the lasagna and places it on a plate. She then places foil over the top and put it in the fridge.

"Do you need me to come pick you up?" I ask her.

"Alice was going to fill you in tonight, but I might as well just tell you. Her and Rose are coming over here during the day and we're getting ready together, then you're coming to pick us up."

"What about Jazz? Is he coming?"

"Yeah and Emmett, considering we're taking his jeep."

I laugh at my typical sister's planning. "So we're all coming to pick you girls up?"

"Yep."

The time flies by and before I know it, it's six o'clock. Bella walks me to the door, and leans up on her tiptoes and kisses me goodbye. I walk to my car and see her leaning in the door way. I wave to her before pulling out of the drive way, and see her blow me a kiss as I drive away from her house.

Tomorrow is going to be an amazing night.

* * *

**A bit of nice, relaxing simple days together. Bella and Rosalie's conversation will be in the next chapter. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Hit me up a review and let me know what your thoughts, xo Big thanks to Jenn for Beta'ing this story for me.**

**-natalee-x**


	13. Party

**Note: **Here are the links to the dresses the girls wore, and their eye make up. Copy and paste the link in a new tab and take out the spaces.

**Bella's Dress** - http : / i55 . tinypic . com / b3olu1 . jpg  
**Bella's eyes** - http : / i52 . tinypic . com / 29ledtt . jpg  
**Bella's Shoes** - http : / i54 . tinypic . com / 2qtv6h0 . jpg

**Alice's Dress** - http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2zz10eq . jpg  
**Alice's Eyes** - http : / i53 . tinypic . com / dy0li . jpg  
**Alice's Shoes** - http : / i54 . tinypic . com / 2dje0dd . jpg

**Rosalie's Dress** - http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2rx9y5f . jpg  
**Rosalie's Eyes** - http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2s96d4w . jpg  
**Rosalie's Shoes** - http : / i51 . tinypic . com / f3x8ah . jpg

* * *

_**Chapter Thirteen**__ – _(Party)

* * *

**BPOV**

Today is Rosalie and Jasper's eighteenth birthday party. I'm not a very social, partying kind of girl, but I have to admit I'm really excited. Maybe it's because I'll be with Edward.

He's been the most considerate, sweet boy in the whole world. When he overheard Alice and I talking about Charlie being the one who hit me, I literally almost had a heart attack. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I began to beg him not to tell anyone because I don't need him freaking out about me every time I'm home alone with Charlie. I don't want him to do anything stupid like attack Charlie the next time he sees him because he will most likely end up in jail. With Charlie being the chief of police and all. As soon as he seen the panic in my eyes he walked over to me and pulled me into his arms. When he held me I knew I was going to be fine. Whenever I'm wrapped up in his arms I feel safe.

Rosalie apologized to me when Edward and I arrived to school. Which I think surprised everyone, but for some reason, I was expecting it. I don't know if it was because Alice told me she would eventually apologize, but I just get this feeling that Rose is a really passionate person. I smile sadly to myself as I remember our conversation.

* * *

"_Um, Bella, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asks quietly._

_I look up at Edward just before he looks down at me. He shrugs his shoulders so I figure it can't be anything bad if he says it's okay. I look back to Rosalie and give her a small smile._

"_Yeah, sure," I reply before pecking Edward on the lips._

_I walk away with Rosalie close to my side. _

"_This should be alright."_

"_What?" I ask her confused._

"_Oh, I just wanted to be far enough away so they can't hear anything. They're fucking nosy bastards." _

_I take a glance at Edward to see him watching me closely. I look back over at Rosalie and smile at her softly._

"_So what did you want to talk to me about?"_

"_Well, um. I just wanted. Uhh," she laughs lightly to herself before looking up at me. "I'm no good at this shit. I just wanted to apologize, for the other week."_

"_Oh. Don't worry about it, its fine–"_

"_No. it's not fine, Bella. I made you feel like shit. Alice told me what you looked like when she found you. I feel like a total asshole. I never meant to hurt you like that, I was just jealous because I felt like Alice and I were drifting apart."_

"_Rosalie, really."_

"_No, please let me finish I need to say this." _

_She closes her eyes, and then takes a deep a breath. When she opens her eyes I can see the pain in them. _

"_I've been through a lot of bullshit in my life, and Alice has always been there for me. She's helped me with a lot of shit. I lived with an abusive family; my father used to beat Jasper constantly_,_ and his best friend_,_ Royce_,_ used to force himself on me. It started when I was only eight and my mother didn't do anything to stop it."_

_I look at her in shock. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes, I take her hand. She latches onto it for support as she continues the rest of her story._

"_One day I began to fight back. I ended up picking up my bedside lamp, hitting Royce over the head with it. I kicked him repeatedly as I screamed for Jasper. He found me in a pool of blood crying. After that_, _I packed up our things,_ and_ we caught a bus to a homeless shelter where Esme happened to work. She contacted child services and they told her we would be placed in a foster home. Esme_,_ being the maternal amazing woman that she is_,_ didn't want that for us and convinced Carlisle to adopt us. It didn't take much convincing though; Carlisle is as maternal as much as she is."_

_She laughs quietly as she wipes the tears away from her cheeks. Her back is to everyone_,_ so they can't see that she's crying. I can feel the guilt building up inside of me. She looks at me quizzically before squeezing my hand._

"_I'm so sorry," I say quietly_.

"_Hey, it's alright. The past is the past. I just wanted to let you know because you know, if you're going through something, I want you to know you can trust me, to have someone to talk to."_

_I take a sigh of relief as she smiles at me before embracing me in a tight hug. I feel my lips turn up into a smile as I hug her back. _

"_Thank you for telling me. I mean, if I had known about that, I wouldn't have hid what really happened. Alice and Edward know, but the others don't."_

"_So it was your dad?" she asks in a soft voice. I can hear the concern and sadness in her voice._

"_He's never done it before."_

"_That's how it starts. They become pissed off drunks and take their anger out on you, but you need to know it isn't your fault, Bella," she says in a cold voice. "C'mon, let's get back. We can talk later, we have Trig first hour anyway."_

* * *

After that, the rest of the week has been absolutely amazing. I never thought I'd ever feel this happy again. Edward and I spend most of our time kissing, which I don't mind at all. When his lips meet mine, my whole body feels like it's going to combust. He picks me up for school every morning, and everyone seems to have gotten used to the fact that we're together. They don't stare at us like where from another planet anymore.

I've become fairly close with Rosalie along with Alice now. I'm at their house after school nearly every single day. I don't think I've ever been this happy before. Everyone has brought something out from inside of me. I've never been this close to anyone before, every day just keeps getting better.

My phone begins to ring. I run upstairs to retrieve it and see that it's Alice.

"Hey, Ali."

"_Hey! Just letting you know Rose and I are gonna leave in about twenty minutes to come over."_

"Oh, okay. Awesome."

"_What are you up to?"_

"Oh you know, just house work."

"_Is… Is he um–" _

I hear Rosalie groan in annoyance then hear weird static noises at the other end of the phone as Alice yells at Rosalie to give the phone back.

"_Sorry about that. Alice is just a little worry wart._ _ Are you excited about tonight? I'm excited. I can't wait until you see what we found for you to wear, Edward is going to die."_

"Yeah I'm excited, but now a little, uh, worried. I'm not gonna look, um, like a skank am I?"

I hear Rosalie and Alice laugh hysterically.

"_What kind of girls do you think we are, Bella? No you will not look like a whore, you're gonna look fucking amazing. Both you and Edward will love us, don't worry."_

I laugh to myself as Rosalie gives the phone back to Alice.

"_Okay, so we'll be over at around six thirty. The party starts at seven thirty."_

"Okay, see you then."

"_Bye!"_

* * *

I head into the laundry room to put on a few loads of washing. I decide to go downstairs and clean the lounge room as I wait for the clothes to wash. I dust the shelves and the TV. I wipe down the coffee table; Charlie _never _uses a coaster even though there's like four on the table. I roll my eyes at his drunken stupidity. Once I'm done with the table, I vacuum the floor. I hang out the washing when it's done, and begin to start on the kitchen when there's a knock at the door. I glance at the clock and see that it's six twenty-five.

"_Shit!"_ I cuss.

I lost track of the time. I head to the door and open it. Alice and Rose are standing there with clothes bags and a huge colorful case. As soon as they see me, their facial expressions turn to horrified. I give them a puzzled look as I step aside to let them in.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Look at you! You're a mess."

"Alice, don't be so rude," Rose scolds her.

"I've been doing housework. I lost track of time."

"It's alright, Bella. Go have a shower. We'll set everything up." I smile at Rosalie with relief. She's sort of become my body guard when it comes to Alice losing it.

I ascend the stairs as the girls begin to set up. I scrub myself down and wash my hair. Knowing what Alice is like, I scrub under my finger nails and then scrub my toe nails too. Once I've finished polishing myself clean, I get out of the shower and head into my room. I realize I don't know what colour underwear to wear as I don't know what I'm wearing. I lean out my door and call out to them.

"What am I supposed to put on? I don't know what I'm wearing."

Alice is the one to reply.

"Wear a black bra and panties."

I put on what she says to put on. No one had ever seen me in my underwear before. Well, Jessica has. But that was when we were like twelve. I descend the stairs and blush as I enter the lounge room. As soon as I see Rose and Alice, I relax because they're only in their bra and panties too.

"Okay, so what's first?" I ask them.

"Hair," Rose replies.

"Then nails," says Alice.

"Then make-up," continues Rose.

"Then the dress?" I add.

They smile at me, then nod. Rose stands up and leads me to the chair in the middle of the room. She begins to run her hands through my hair, unknotting it before she blow dries it.

"You _never _brush your hair when it's wet. It fucks it up," she says.

"Oh, okay. I never knew that," I reply honestly. I don't know much about beauty or fashion actually. Even though Alice seems to think I wear designer clothes. Well, that's what she said to Lauren. I guess she could have just been saying that though.

Once Rose is done drying my hair, she then brushes through it lightly. She's so gentle, she could be a hairdresser. She grabs some wand looking thingy, placing her finger on it then pulling it off quickly. She ties up half of my hair then grabs big and small strands of my hair and wraps it around the wand. When she pulls it away, my hair is in curls.

"I'm going for thick, yet soft curls," she says,

"Cool, you're really good at this."

"Thanks."

Once she's finished curling my hair, she squirts something on her hands then runs them through my hair.

"What's that?" I ask her,

"Oh, it's just some product. It will keep your curls in place, but still keep your hair soft."

"It's much better than hairspray," Alice adds.

I glance over at Alice and my eyes widen in shock. Her hair is five times longer than it usually is; also in curls, but still with straight bits in it. There is a small piece of hair on her left with the rest of her hair pulled to the other side, running down to her stomach. She has bright red lips with bronze cheeks, and her eyes are shaded with dark reds and light pink with black throughout it.

"Hair extensions," she says with a smile.

"It looks amazing," I tell her.

"Thanks!" she replies enthusiastically before adding, "Okay, time for the nails!"

Alice polishes and buffs my nails. They're already pretty long, so she just shapes them so they're all even. She then puts this white polish on my tips. She tells me to place my right hand in this weird little thing that apparently has a built in fan that dries your nails. She does my left hand while the other is drying. Once that is done, I place that in the drying contraption while she paints a clear polish with glitter in it over my other nails. She does the same with the other hand once it's dry. When she's done my nails look like they've been professionally done.

"Wow. You guys should open a business," I tell them.

"We aren't that good, Bella."

"Oh don't be so modest, Alice, we're amazing!"

Alice grins at Rosalie before shaking her head. Rosalie has done her hair in a half up, half down hair do with the half up curledand a few curls in the down part. She has a braid at the front of her head as though it's a head band. Her make-up is similar to Alice's, but her eyes are shaded with dark and light shades of green, making her violet eyes pop out. She looks stunning. She smiles at me softly as she notices me taking in her appearance.

Rosalie walks over to me and begins to apply my make-up. She puts on a smooth foundation that doesn't feel heavy on my face. I don't know what colors she's using for my blush, lips, or eyes as she tells me to keep my eyes closed. When she's done, I open my eyes and am greeted with a mirror. I don't recognize the person looking back at me.

Her eyes are dark around the rims with a dark blue shimmer, getting lighter as it gets further away from the eyeball. She has light red lipstick on, not as out there as Alice's and Rosalie's; she has a soft brown shimmer on her cheeks with a light pink throughout it. Her hair is curled in all different sizes with half her hair on the left side of her head with the rest pulled to the other side, similar to Alice's. _I've never looked this way in my life. _I look up at Rose and Alice to see them grinning down at me. I grin back at them as I stand up.

Alice goes over to the clothes bags and hands us our dresses. I unzip mine to see a royal blue dress with a built in square diamond belt. The belt goes through the middle of my chest up to the top, leaving a little triangle of blue material in the middle and where my breasts will be. In the bag are navy blue stockings, a thick silver diamond bracelet that matches the belt on the dress and a pair of black gladiator heels that zips up on the front of the foot. I put the stockings on first, then the dress. It comes to the middle of my thighs. I place the bracelet on my left wrist then put on the shoes. I turn around to see Rose and Alice are fully dressed as well.

Alice's dress is red that buffs at the bottom with a sparkly bow in the middle of her breasts that runs to her ribs. It's a bit shorter than mine, but she looks amazing in it, her shoes are gorgeous. They're black on the heel and sole and the body of it is bright red. Definitely one of her pair of statement shoes. Rosalie's dress is black up the top and emerald, sparkly green on the bottom. The top part of the dress is a soft heart shape; there is a little green material showing on top of a black belt around the waist. Her shoes are black and similar to mine, the front of her shoes crisscross at the front about five times and zip up at the back.

_Now I understand our eye make-up._

There's a knock at the door. I go to answer it, but Alice runs ahead of me as Rosalie whispers for me to go upstairs. I give her a confused look, but obey anyway. I walk into the bathroom just as the door opens.

"Damn, babe. You look _amazing_," I hear Jasper say. I can imagine him leaning down to kiss her as Emmett barges into the house. Right on cue.

"Fucking hell, you're lucky it's your party tonight baby, otherwise I would rip those clothes off you right here, right now. You're too goddamn hot for your own good."

I smile to myself as I hear Rosalie slap him on the arm. I freeze as I hear Edward's laughter. I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat.

"Where's Bella?" he asks.

"Upstairs, she went up to get a bag," Rosalie replies.

_I did?_ Oh shit.

I quickly run down to my room and raid my closet for the one going out bag I have. It's only a small plain one. I chuck in my house keys, deodorant, and breath mints into it as I head back towards the stairs. When I reach the top, Edward looks up and my eyes lock with his. I see his breath hitch as a grin forms onto his lips. I smile back at him and blush as I descend the stairs. He meets me at the bottom. He runs his hands around my neck, placing his thumbs on my jaw with his fingers caressing the back of my hair. My eyes stay locked on his as he leans his face down to mine. I close my eyes as his lips meet mine softly. I smile against his lips as I realize he's being careful of my make-up, knowing Alice would attack him if he ruined it.

"You look so fucking beautiful, Bella," he whispers.

My eyes sweep over him. He's dressed in dark black jeans, a white button up shirt with his sleeves rolled up and a loose royal blue tie. Just like the color of my dress.

"You look pretty amazing yourself."

He picks up his tie, his lips turning into that breathtaking crooked grin.

"We match," he responds.

"Alice," we say at the same time.

"Yeah?" she asks. Oops. I forgot everyone else are here.

"Ready to go?" I ask.

"Let's rock this party!" Emmett hollers.

* * *

The Cullen house is completely full. Everyone from school is here. As soon as Rosalie and Jasper walk in, everyone cheers and claps. You'd think they were famous or something. They've only been here for about a month and they're already well loved, but I can't exactly blame everyone for feeling that way. They're both amazing people. Especially after everything they've been through. After ten minutes of being here, Edward drags me over to Carlisle and Esme to introduce us.

"Carlisle, Esme. This is my girlfriend, Bella."

_Girlfriend?_ He hasn't called me his girlfriend before. I blush as Carlisle extends his hand out to me.

"Nice to see you again, Bella."

I smile at him as I take his hand in mine "You too, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Bella, it's so nice to finally meet you." Esme walks forward and embraces me in a hug. I hug her back as I tell her it's nice to meet her too. I have to admit, I'm surprised Edward would have mentioned me. I give her a small smile as I step out of the embrace.

"So where did you two meet? At school?" she asks.

"Oh, um at the grocery store actually," I reply quietly.

"On our first day here," Edward adds.

"Someone was certainly in high spirits after we left," says Carlisle.

I look at Edward and see that he's narrowing his eyes at Carlisle. I look at Carlisle to see that he's smirking at his son. I laugh causing both of them to look at me. Carlisle smiles at me as Edward rolls his eyes.

"Well, if you wouldn't mind. Bella and I are going to go dance now."

My eyes go wide at his statement and I plant my feet to the ground causing him to stop abruptly when I don't move.

"I can't dance," I tell him, a blush seeping into my cheeks. He smirks at me as he cups my cheek.

"Anyone can dance with me."

"Cocky much?" I joke. This just causes him to laugh and pull me into the lounge room anyway.

It's already half way through the song "Lights Surrounding You" by Evermore when he pulls me into his arms, placing his left hand around my waist with my right hand in his. We begin to sway side to side at first until he actual begins to move us. I follow his lead because I have no idea what I'm doing. My eyes stay on his as he glides us around the room. He pushes me out away from him and spins me around a few times before closing the distance between us and pulling me to him again.

He moves us forwards, backwards, sideways and spins us around and around. A grin forms on my lips as he grabs a hold of both of my hands and stops us from moving, dipping me to the ground. I've seen this move done before so I know what to do next. I tilt my head back as he spins me around and back up to him. Feeling the adrenaline rush through me, I lift my right leg up the right side of him. He smirks at my movement before spinning both of our backs around each other, meeting us up at the front again. He cups my face in his hands and leans down to kiss me. When his lips meet mine, everyone erupts into applause.

I look around to notice that everyone has made a circle in the middle of the lounge room for us to dance. I didn't even notice them doing that. I was too lost in the dance with Edward. Emmett leads Rose onto the floor, along with Jasper and Alice. We continue to dance in the middle of the circle for a few more songs until the song "Bounce" by Timbaland comes on.

I cannot, and I mean _cannot_,dance to these kinds of songs; it's too embarrassing. I go to walk away, but Edward stops me and pulls me back to him. He grins at me as he begins to bop up and down, side to side. I shake my head and laugh at him as I just stand there. He closes the distance between us, grabbing my hips, pulling me close to him. He moves my hips, swaying them side to side, forwards and backwards to the rhythm.

Even after I begin to get the hang of the movements, Edward doesn't take his hands off of my hips or my waist. I can't help thinking that this is a fairly sexual song. I run my hands up his chest over his shirt, around to the back of his neck and continue to dance with him. This causes him to grin at me. I blush because I have never danced like this in my life. I turn around in his arms to try something new. I keep a hold of his arms as I shimmy my body down his, moving my hips slowly before coming back up. As soon as I turn back around, his lips are on mine with his hands in my hair. When we break away, he rests his head on mine as we continue to dance.

Edward and I are rudely interrupted by Jessica Stanley charging over to us and pulling me out of Edward's grip.

"What the _fuck _is that?" she screams at me,

"Excuse me? What is your problem?" I yell back as the music goes quiet.

"Do you even realize how selfish and horrible you are? You fucking ditched me, stopped talking to me and hanging out with me. You cut yourself off from everyone for _years_, but when the new cool kids come to town, you're suddenly all good to be friends with people and come back into civilization again?"

"That's, that's not what it's like Jess, you don't know–"

"I don't know anything because you cut yourself off from me! We were _best friends,_ Bella. We told each other _everything _and you threw it away, you threw me away like I meant _nothing _to you! Yet here you are all best buddies with the new girls and dancing like a whore with your new boyfriend."

Edward pulls me back into his chest as the tears begin to well up in my eyes.

"Watch your mouth, bitch. Do you want to end up like Lauren?" Edward practically growls at her.

"Don't you get it? I don't care anymore!"

I hear someone shouting, but they sound so far away until Rosalie barges into the crowed and I can hear her clearly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are coming here, causing a scene at mine and my brother's party!"

"I—"

"You know what? I don't give a flying fuck what your reasons are."

"Rose, it's alright. I'm fine," I plead with her.

"No, fuck that shit, Bella. She has no right to do this shit."

"I think you should leave, Jessica," Alice says in a calm voice.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to Jessica before she turns on her heels, walking out of the house and slamming the front door.

Edward wraps his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder.

"You have nothing to apologize for, baby."

"Yes, I do," I say quietly.

"Do you wanna go home?" he asks me.

"Please," I say quietly. I don't trust my voice not to break, and it's all I can do to stop myself from breaking down right then and there.

"I'm going to fuck that bitch up," Rosalie seethes.

I close the distance between us and embrace her in a hug.

"Its okay, Rose. Really, but thanks though. Happy Birthday."

"Anytime," she says as she hugs me back.

The music goes back on as I say goodbye to everyone.

* * *

I stay quiet on the drive back home. Edward keeps his hand entwined with mine as I lean on his arm, keeping myself from crying. When we arrive at my house, Charlie's cruiser isn't there. He must be down at Billy's. Edward is at my door, helping me out of the car. We walk up to my porch and sit down on the steps like we always do.

"Are you okay?" he asks me.

I sigh, shaking my head as I lean into him. He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close to him as the tears begin to fall. Once he realizes I'm crying, he lifts my legs up and lays them over his as I cry onto his chest. He rubs my back and plays with my hair, doing everything he can to soothe me. I take a shaky breath before looking up at him. He smiles down at me, placing his thumbs under my eyes, wiping away my tears.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"What are we?" I ask him quietly.

"What do you mean?" he returns in a whisper.

"Are we dating or are we a couple like Alice and Jasper and Rosalie and Emmett are?"

He chuckles as he leans down and places his lips to mine. He kisses me once softly then pulls away.

"I introduced you to my parents as my girlfriend, didn't I?"

"Good point," I say as I purse my lips.

"Alright, how about this?" He moves my legs off his and turns his body to face mine. He keeps his eyes on mine, smiling at me softly. "Isabella Swan. Will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

"Yes," I reply so quietly, I'm not quite sure he heard me. I smile at him and nod my head just in case.

He leans down and kisses me again, this time more passionately. I run my tongue on his bottom lip, letting him know I want more, that I need more. He bites my bottom lip causing a giggle to escape my lips as I open my mouth for him. His tongue massages mine as he places his hands on my hips. I lift my left leg, placing it over his lap to straddle him. I run my hands into his hair as his hands travel to my ass. I lean my head back as we break apart to catch our breath. He kisses my jaw, my neck, my collar bone until I can take it no more and pull his face back up to mine. This is the most passionate kiss we've ever shared. Every time my lips meet his, I lose myself completely. The animal inside me comes out and over takes my body.

When we finally calm down, I wrap my arms around his neck as he rests his forehead on mine.

"I've never felt anything like that before," he says quietly.

"Neither have I."

"Do you wanna come over tomorrow, babe? I'm sure Alice and Rose will want to see you after tonight."

"Yeah, I'll come over. I feel bad about leaving early. And it's Rose and Jasper's actual birthday tomorrow anyway."

"Don't worry about it, they understand. God, that Jessica chick is a fucking bitch. I swear, I had to wrap my arms around you so I didn't rip her head off."

I laugh quietly as I try to picture Edward losing his temper like that.

"You'd never hurt a girl," I conclude.

"That is true, which is why she's fucking lucky."

I can feel him tensing up as he thinks about what happened tonight.

"Edward, don't worry about it. I'm fine."

"But are you?"

"Well, now I am. How can I not be fine after _that_?" I smirk at him as I run my index finger along his bottom lip. He puckers his lips, kissing my finger as he hums in content and holds me close to him.

"I should probably get back," he mumbles.

I pout my lips at him. He kisses me softly and quickly causing me to smile.

"I'll message you tomorrow," he says before standing, and pulling me up with him.

He kisses me again quickly before walking away. I wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling the cold. He turns around and sees me in this position. He runs back up to me and places his jacket around me before granting me with another kiss. I watch him as he walks to his car, waving to me before he drives off.

I go inside and head upstairs. I have a shower, and dress into my pajamas. I grab Edward's jacket off the chair and crawl into bed with it, falling asleep surround by his scent.

* * *

**Flashback to show you Bella and Rosalie's conversation :) Throwing in some relationship talks and what not. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thankyou all for your lovely reviews, they give me the confidence to keep writing. And thankyou to my beta Jenndur, you're amazing.**

**-natalee-x**


	14. Dinner with the family

_**Chapter Fourteen**__ – _(Dinner with the family)

* * *

**EPOV**

The party is still going strong when I get home. Rose, Em, Jazz and Alice are all out on the dance floor. Alice looks up and smiles when she notices me. She excuses herself before walking over to greet me.

"How is she?"

"She was really upset when we got to her house, but she's alright now, I think."

"I hope she's okay. I can't believe Jessica had the nerve to do that."

I run my hands through my hair then rub my eyes as I let out a sigh. When I open my eyes, Alice is looking me up and down.

"What?"

"Where's your jacket?" she asks confused.

"She was cold so I gave it to her." I roll my eyes at her as a grin forms on her face.

"I'm going to bed."

"Now? The party isn't even over yet." I shake my head at her as she pouts her lips at me.

"I'm tired, Alice. I just want to sleep."

"Fine. Be boring then." she pokes her tongue out before spinning around and walking back onto the dance floor.

* * *

_The sound of a piano playing flows through the house and up to my bedroom. Confused, I get out of bed and walk downstairs. Bella is playing my piano and singing lightly to herself. I sit and watch her for a few minutes before I can't handle the distance any longer. I stand and make my way over to her._

_Her lips turn up into_ _a small smile__ as she slides along the bench to give me room to sit down. _

_She continues to play and sing as I watch her. I close my eyes, concentrating on the lyrics._

"_I see forgiveness, I see the truth,  
you love me for who I am, like the stars hold the moon,  
right there where they belong,  
and I know I'm not alone,"  
_

_A strand of hair falls in her face. I tuck it behind her ear before running my hand along the back of her neck as she continues to sing._

"_Yeah when my world is falling apart,  
when there's no light to break up the dark,"_

"_That's when I, I… I look at you,"_

"_When the waves are, flooding the shore,  
And I can't, find my way home anymore,  
That's when I, I… I look at you."_

_Even though the song doesn't end there, she stops playing and looks up to me with a small smile on her lips. I don't take my eyes off hers as I place my hand on her cheek. She leans into the touch, closing her eyes. I lean in towards her and place my lips to hers._

I wake with a smile on my face. Best. Dream. Ever. I look over at my radio clock. It's eleven am. No doubt the gang isn't going to wake up for another hour — the party animals. I have a quick shower before getting dressed and texting Bella.

**Hey beautiful,  
Come over whenever you want,  
But don't take too long :P  
-E**

I head downstairs to grab some breakfast. I go to the kitchen cupboard and pull out the Coco pops. I'm halfway through the cereal when Esme walks into the kitchen.

"Hey, honey. What are you up to today?"

"Just gonna hang out with Bella."

"Oh, that's nice. How is she?" she asks with concern in her voice.

"I think the whole Jessica confrontation was a bit much for her, but I think she's holding up alright."

"Yes, that was a bit uncalled for if I don't say so myself."

I chuckle at my adoptive mother's serious expression. It's amusing when she tries to understand teenagers. She smiles at me softly before saying, "She knows she can stay here anytime, right?"

"Yeah, Alice and I have both told her that. She's fairly independent though."

I smile at her to ease her worries. She's so paternal sometimes.

"Alright, well I better go work on my designs. I'll see you later."

She walks over to me and plants a kiss on my cheek before leaving me in the kitchen and walking up to her study on the second floor.

* * *

I flick through the TV channels, trying to find something good to watch. I come across a marathon of Bones. I have never seen anyone so socially challenged like Brennan is in this show. She is freakishly smart though, which is also sexy. I watch the marathon for a few hours before realizing I've left my phone upstairs. I head up to my room. I search my room for my phone, but can't find it anywhere. I look under everything on my desk and eventually find it. I go sit on the edge of my bed as I open the message from Bella.

**Haha, okay :)  
I'll be over around 12.  
See you then.  
-B**

I look at my radio clock and see that it's ten minutes after twelve. I descend the stairs to hear Bella and Esme talking in the kitchen.

"—He's really sweet, and Alice and Rose are amazing friends."

"I'm glad you're okay then, sweetie."

"Thanks."

Bella looks up as I walk into the kitchen. They're making sandwiches. I smirk at her as I close the distance between us.

"Good timing, I was getting pretty hungry."

She rolls her eyes at me as a laugh escapes her lips. "Hey to you too."

I smile at her before leaning in towards her and planting a soft kiss on her lips.

"Bella you seem really comfortable in the kitchen, do you cook often?"

Bella turns to Esme and smiles at her as she nods her head. "Yeah. I don't know what it is, it just relaxes me."

"Did your mom teach you how to cook?"

Bella bites her bottom lip before she replies, "Uh, yeah, she did."

I look up at Bella from where I'm sitting; she's biting her bottom lip and looks like she's concentrating hard on making the sandwiches.

"Do you cook with her often?" Bella's face pales. I look between Esme and Bella with a confused expression on my face.

"Bella?"

"Oh, sorry. Um, no I don't. My mum doesn't, uh, she doesn't live; Um, can I use the bathroom?"

When she looks at me, I swear I see panic in her eyes for a split second.

"You don't have to ask to use the bathroom, babe."

"I don't know where the bathroom is, _babe_." she quirks her brow, and looks at me expectantly. My lips turn up into a smirk as I laugh.

"Touché. C'mon, I'll show you where it is." I entwine her hand in wine and lead us out of the kitchen.

"Oh, Bella?" Esme calls.

"Yeah?"

"I'd love for you to cook with me some day."

Bella's cheeks flush and she smiles before looking up to meet Esme's eyes.

"Um, sure. Thanks," she replies in a somewhat shocked voice.

"It's no problem at all, honey."

Bella smiles at Esme before I begin to lead us up the stairs. When we reach my room, I open the door for her. She walks inside and heads straight to my desk. She runs her hand along my CD player and smiles softly to herself as she sees that the Linkin Park CD is in my player. She walks into the bedroom as I go sit on my bed. Once she's done in the bathroom, she heads back over to my bookshelves.

"We have a few things in common," she says before looking over to me. I smile at her as I quirk my brow at her.

"And what are they?"

"Some same interest in books and musicians." She turns back to the bookshelf and strokes the spine of all my books. Once she has finished exploring, she walks to my bed and lays down next to me. I plant a kiss on her forehead and play with her hair. She wraps her leg around mine and rests her arm over my chest, hugging herself closer to me. I stoke her now lightly bruised cheek with the back of my hand softly before leaning down and planting a light kiss to it. She looks up at me, and smiles as a blush covers her cheeks.

"How are you? And I mean honestly?" I ask her quietly as I continue to stroke her hair.

"I'm okay. Your jacket helped me sleep."

I stop stroking her hair and look down at her as a chuckle escapes my lips. "You slept with my jacket?"

"Wow that does sound weird, doesn't it?" She says through a laugh.

"No. That's kind of cute."

I take the opportunity to lean down and kiss her as she looks up at me. She kisses me back softly. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her on top of me. She chuckles as her hands make her way into my hair. I run my tongue along her bottom lip, her lips part at the contact and I dart my tongue into her mouth to deepen the kiss. I roll us over so I'm hovering over her. I place my arms on each side of her on the bed. Her hands travel down my back, finding their way under my shirt. I shiver with pleasure at the skin to skin contact. I don't stop kissing her when we break apart. I kiss along her jaw and collarbone. Her breathing becomes heavy as I place kisses and suck on her neck lightly. I make my way back to her mouth and kiss her soft and quick a few times before placing us in our original positions.

"Well that was fun," she says through a giggle before a yawn overtakes her. "Argh, god. I'm so tired."

I stroke her face and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear as I smile down at her.

"Have a nap," I tell her before kissing her temple.

She rests her head on my chest and moves in closer to me before closing her eyes and sighing with content. I continue to play with her hair as she begins to fall asleep. I smile to myself as I watch her. She looks so peaceful while she sleeps. She begins to mumble in her sleep before her words begin to come clearer.

"Mom." she tightens her hold on me.

"I miss you," she sighs.

I watch her intently as a smile forms on her lips.

"Edward," she whispers so quietly I'm not quite sure she even says it.

"Edward," she says more clearly. I smile to myself before planting a kiss on her forehead.

There's a knock on my door. I curse to myself because I don't want to disturb Bella.

"It's open," I say as loudly as I can without waking her. Carlisle walks into my room, eyes widening for a split second as he takes in our presence. He quirks a brow before pulling out my desk chair and sitting on it.

"Sorry to interrupt. I didn't know she was here. How is she from last night?" He asks as he looks over Bella.

"She's doing better. Jessica is a fucking bitch, she deserves a good kick in the face." He quirks his brow at me before shaking his head.

"Will you not use that language, Edward?" He scolds me. I snort and then quirk my brow at him.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask him.

"I just came to say hello and to see how you're doing in school."

"Hi. And I'm doing fine. Don't worry, Carlisle, having a girlfriend won't effect my grades." I smirk at him as he rolls his eyes at me.

"I didn't mean it like that, Edward. I just want to make sure you're settling in okay. But I can see for myself that you're fine." He glances at Bella and then back at me. His lips twitch and I narrow my eyes at him as he stands.

"Right."

"Dinner will be ready in a few hours," He adds with a smirk.

"Well thanks for that," I say as he walks out of my room and closes the door a little too loudly causing Bella to stir. I look down at her as she blinks a few times before smiling at me.

"Who was that?" she asks, her voice thick with sleep.

"Just Carlisle being annoying and parental."

She laughs as she stretches then sits up to lean on her elbows. "Are we in trouble?" she asks with a smirk on her face. I laugh and pull her on top of me, wrapping my arms around her.

"No, he was just checking how I'm doing in school and letting me know dinner will be ready in a few hours."

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" I ask as I twirl a strand of hair around my finger. I look into her eyes and she smiles at me.

"Okay." She leans in and kisses me softly. I can feel the smile on her lips.

* * *

Alice and Jasper come into my room to collect us for dinner. Alice is beaming as soon as she sees Bella and I tangled up on the bed together. Jasper just stands there smirking at me, the smug bastard. Bella gets embarrassed as usual, but she seems fine by the time we get downstairs.

Her eyes go wide as she takes in the dining table. Esme has gone all out for some godforsaken reason. There's mashed potato, ravioli, grilled chicken, Caesar salad, mixed vegetables and corn on the cob. I pull out her seat for her, and sit next to her. Alice and Jasper are sitting opposite us. Rosalie is next to Bella while Emmett sits across from her, next to Jasper with Esme and Carlisle at the heads.

"This looks _awesome_, Mom! Good work, I'm starving!" Emmett exclaims. Rosalie attempts to kick him under the table which only gets a grin out of him when she misses.

Bella laughs quietly at their interaction. I lean in towards her. "What do you want?" I ask her.

"Oh. Um, just the ravioli and mashed potato, please."

I grab her plate and place her food on it. She smiles sheepishly as I hand it back to her. "Thanks," she whispers quietly.

I grab some chicken, mashed potato and ravioli. I take quick glances at Bella to see that she keeps glancing at me as well.

"So how was everyone's day?" Esme pipes up conversation.

"Yeah, Eddie. How was _your _day locked up in your room?"

Bella's eyes go wide before she chokes on whatever she was eating and gulps down her water.

"Fuck off, dickhead."

"Language, Edward," Esme scolds me.

"Well we weren't doing anything."

"Just sucking face," Emmett adds whilst waggling his eyebrows. Rosalie attempts another kick at him under the table and doesn't miss this time.

"Ah, fuck! Rose!"

"Serves you right, Emmett. Don't be so rude," Alice chimes in.

"You guys are such party poopers." He folds his arms across his chest and pouts his lips. What a fucking girl. A phone begins to go off, but it's not a ring tone I'm familiar with. Bella looks around quickly before cussing to herself lightly and grabbing it out of her pocket. She looks at the screen and groans before looking back up.

"Sorry, I need to take this."

"That's okay, honey," Esme says as she smiles at her. Bella smiles back before getting up and walking over to the stairs. I look at Alice to see that she's looking at Bella very closely.

"So did you all get the 'how are you settling in at school' speech today too?" I ask them. Alice snaps back to attention as Carlisle snickers to himself. Rosalie and Emmett look confused and Jasper rolls his eyes.

"We got that the other day," Alice says quietly as she begins to watch Bella again.

"Alice, stop gawking at her," I scold her.

She leans in closer towards the table and looks me in the eyes. "Something's wrong. I think it's Charlie who called her," she whispers.

"Fucking hell," I groan.

I look back at Bella to see that she's tense and gripping the stair banister tightly as she speaks in fast hushed tones. I can tell she's restraining herself from yelling at him. She sighs before hanging up and walking back over to us. She smiles at me softly, standing in front of me before looking up at Esme.

"I'm really sorry, but is it alright if I head home now?"

"That's fine, honey. Do you want me to pack you up some leftovers?"

Bella smiles and nods her head. "Okay, just the Ravioli will be fine. Thanks Esme."

"I'll go get it ready for you." Esme smiles at Bella before standing up and heading into the kitchen. I grab Bella's hand as I stand up and pull her closer to me. I wrap my arms around her and rest my chin on the top of her head.

"Is everything okay?" I ask her quietly.

"Yeah, he was just annoyed that I didn't leave a note."

"You aren't going home just to cook him dinner are you?"

She laughs quietly and shakes her head. "No. He had pizza at Harry's." She leans her head back and smiles up at me. I press my lips to hers and kiss her until Esme comes back into the room.

"Thanks for dinner, Esme. It was beautiful."

"Oh, you're more than welcome, sweetheart." Esme steps forward and kisses Bella on the cheek before sitting back down at the table. I walk Bella out to her car and lean down to kiss her again before closing the door for her. She waves before driving away.

I head back inside and eat the rest of my dinner. Carlisle starts talking about his day at work, and Esme talks about how far she got with her designs. She says she really enjoyed spending time with Bella and that she's a really sweet girl. Once I've finished dinner, I help clear the table and load the dishwasher. Jasper, Alice, Rose and Emmett all head into the lounge room to watch TV. I kiss Esme on the cheek before heading into the lounge room to let everyone know I'm having an early night. Emmett quirks his brow at me causing me to roll my eyes at him, once again.

I get into the shower and let the hot water relax my muscles. I have so many knots, it's not even funny. Once I feel fresh and clean, I wrap the towel around me before walking into my room and putting on a pair of briefs. I collapse onto my bed and breathe in my pillow. It still smells like Bella. I groan as I wonder how I'm ever going to get to sleep with her scent everywhere. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

I eventually fall asleep with the scent of strawberries filling my senses.

* * *

**Hey guys. I'm so sorry for the late update. I've been really busy and my head has been all over the place lately. Chapters after this one may start being late as well, a lot has happened over the past few months that i just haven't had the motivation to write. I don't want to force myself to do it either, so hopefully everything gets back to normal soon so i can get back to writing. Thanks to everyone who reviews, it means a lot to me. I love hearing your thoughts and what you have to say about the chapter. Thankyou to Jenndur for Beta'ing this hot mess.**

**-natalee-x**


	15. Letter from the past

_**Chapter Fifteen – **__(Letter from the past)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

It's the First of November today, and it's been three weeks since Esme's offer to cook with her. Edward and I have been better than ever, I'm becoming a lot more comfortable with him now. I raid through my closet, trying to find something to wear to school. I settle for dark blue jeans, a purple oversized t shirt and my black leather jacket. I step in front of the mirror and smile lightly to myself. My fashion sense has gotten a lot better since becoming friends with Alice and Rose. I run my hands through my hair and put on a bit of lip gloss. I grab my school books and shove them in my back pack before heading downstairs.

I place my bag on the kitchen bench then go to the cupboards, grab out the Pop-tarts and put them in the toaster. I go to the fridge, get the milk and pour a glass as I wait for the Pop-tarts to finish cooking. Once they're finished, I sit at the bench and nibble on them slowly. I woke up half an hour earlier than usual this morning, so I take my time eating breakfast for once.

Halfway through my second Pop-tart, I hear Charlie moving around upstairs mumbling to himself. Charlie has been beyond grumpy over the past few weeks. Ever since Edward and I started dating, he's been in a foul mood ten times worse than he normally is. He's always picking fights with me and drinking to the extent that he's been suspended from Chief of Police until he gets his act together. Which I honestly find pointless because he isn't going to just change overnight.

I begin to scarf the rest of the food down to leave before he comes downstairs. I quickly rinse the plate and glass. I grab my bag off the bench and head for the door. If I thought I could avoid Charlie, I was wrong. There he is standing in front of the door with a scowl on his face.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to school."

"Is your _boyfriend_ picking you up again?"

I roll my eyes at the emphasis of the word boyfriend.

"No, actually. I'm driving myself, so can you please get out of the way so I can get going. I don't want to be late."

"You still have five minutes before you have to leave. What? Don't want to spend some time with your dear old dad?"

"Well aren't you perceptive this morning."

"Don't talk to me in that tone, young lady."

"Or what? You'll hit me again? Go ahead, do it."

He clenches his hands into fists and glares at me so hard the term "if looks could kill" invades my mind. He stalks toward me slowly, but I hold my ground. I'm not letting him intimidate me anymore. He stands right in front of me, only inches away from my face. He stares into my eyes with such intense force that I don't dare to look away.

"You're going to screw things up with that boy, you know. He's going to see the real you and leave you just like your mother did. Because _nobody wants you."_

I feel my eyes begin to sting as his lips turn up into and evil grin. He may not have hit me, but sometimes words can be stronger than physical violence.

"I _hate _you." I tell him through my teeth before pushing past him and running out the door.

* * *

I pull into the parking lot, my eyes automatically looking around to find Edward. I spot him as I park my truck. My lips curl into a small smile as he sees me, his mouth turning into that smirk I love. I look at myself in my rearview mirror. My eyes are a bit red from crying, but at least my face isn't blotchy and bright red like it normally goes. He makes his way towards me as I get out of the truck. His eyebrows nit together in concern as he can clearly see my red eyes. I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his waist. I feel his lips on top of my head. I sigh contently before pulling away.

"What happened?" he asks me quietly.

"Just Charlie being Charlie."

"Are you okay?"

"I am now."

He smiles at me before leaning down and placing his lips to mine. He cups my face with his hands as I wrap my arms around his neck and run my fingers into his hair. He smiles against my lips before licking my bottom lip. I open my mouth to him, sighing in pleasure as our tongues connect. This is what I need — Edward and his amazing kissing.

Someone clears their throat behind us. I blush as I untangle myself from Edward. He lays his arm across my shoulders.

"You two are revolting," Rose says with mock disgust on her face.

"You can't talk. You and Emmet are animals when you make out," I reply with a smirk on my face.

She rolls her eyes before smiling at me and walking away. Edward entwines his hand through mine and leads us to class.

Mr. Banner is his normal chipper self during Biology. He gives us yet another partner assignment. Not that I'm complaining, really, because that just means I get to spend more time with Edward. This class is fairly easy. I was always one of those weird kids that grew up interested in Biology. My mom and dad bought me so many books on the subject that I've always been at the top of the class.

* * *

On Tuesday, Alice meets me outside my classroom to walk to gym with me. This has become a routine. I don't know how many times I've said I hate Gym, but today is even worse because we're playing dodge ball. I am going to be the number one target for Lauren and her stupid posy. Alice and I change quickly before heading out into the hall.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. You'll be fine, I promise."

"Thanks, Alice. But I don't think even you can protect me from Lauren's wrath when she has a ball in her hand and has permission to pelt it at me."

"Well, if she does anything major, you can easily get Rose onto her again."

I roll my eyes and laugh at what that would entail on Lauren's behalf. Alice smiles at me before walking over to the stand that's holding all the balls. She grabs two then walks back to me. Coach Clapp walks through the doors, holding a ball on her hip.

"Alright, girls. The rules are: no using team mates as body shields; no pelting the balls with inappropriate force; and do not throw the ball at an opponent's head. Get in your positions."

The whistle is blown before I even realize it. Alice grabs my arm and pulls me out of the way just as a ball goes flying past my waist. I look up and notice Lauren with an evil grin on her face. My god, she is definitely on a mission. Well, isn't this going to be fun?

The game gets down to Lauren, Jessica, some other girl I don't know on one side, and Alice, myself and Angela Webber on the other. I think Angela surprised us all; I wouldn't have picked her as someone who would be very sporty. Alice throws the ball and hits Jessica in the stomach. She narrows her eyes at Alice. Alice smiles sweetly back at her before giving her the bird. This gets a bit of a laugh out of Angela and I. The other girl throws the ball at Angela while she's off guard. I pat her on the back before she walks away and sits on the bleachers. Lauren pegs the ball right at my head. It's like everything happens in slow motion, I can't duck out of the way because she's thrown it so fast. I see it coming towards me; I manage to turn my head to the side the tiniest bit. The ball connects with my head. I stumble backwards and fall to the ground. I sit on the ground for a few seconds before snapping out of my stupor. I jump back up and head towards Lauren.

"What the fuck, Lauren?" I scream as I continue to walk towards her.

"What's wrong, Swan? I thought you'd be used to getting smacked in the face by now."

I don't know what comes over me, but the shy, embarrassed Bella I thought I was cowers away and a more confident, pissed off Bella overtakes me.

"You fucking bitch! You don't know shit!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Princess. Snap the fuck out of it. You're a _nobody. _No one likes you. You have no friends apart from the new freaks, who might I add, probably only felt sorry for you when they saw you. I don't really blame them though, gossip runs through this town faster than lightening. I'm sure they heard about your mom–"

"I will fucking _kill _you!" I scream before lunging at her. We fall to the ground. I land on top of her and begin to throw punches at her. She covers her face with her arms before grabbing my hair and biting me on the arm. "You don't know anything about me or my mother!"

The tears begin to fall down my face as I continue to hit her.

"Get the fuck off me, you psycho!" she yells.

"Bella, stop!" I hear Alice yell. "Edward, go get her!" she adds in a panicked voice.

I feel an electric shock shoot through me and I know its Edward's hands encircling around my arms and pulling me off Lauren.

"Get off me!" I scream through a sob.

"Bella," he whispers in my ear. He holds onto me as I slide down his body and onto the ground.

"Edward," I choke out his name.

"Shh. It's okay, baby."

He wraps his arms around me as I sob into his chest.

"I hate her," I whisper

"I know."

He rubs circles on my back and rocks me back and forth.

"Coach Clapp said we can take her outside away from everyone," Alice whispers to Edward.

I wipe at my eyes and take a deep breath before looking up at Alice. She gives me a small smile before putting her hand out to me. I take it. She and Edward pull me up on my feet. Edward wraps his arms around my waist and leads me out of the gym doors. Alice walks beside us.

"Lauren tried to get her in trouble, but Clapp told her to get off her high horse because it was her own fault," she says as we walk into the cafeteria.

"What happened anyway?" Edward asks. "Bella?"

I don't answer.

"She was being really horrible saying nobody likes her and we're only her friends because we feel sorry for her. Then she said something about her mom and Bella just lost it."

The rest of the day goes by fairly quickly. During lunch, everyone tries engaging me into conversation, but I don't speak to anyone. I lean up against Edward's chest as he plays with my hair and plants kisses on my temple.

At the end of the day Edward walks me to my truck and pecks me on the lips before walking away and getting into his car. I drive home, make dinner, have a shower and as I lay on my bed, everything Lauren said to me comes flooding back. Once again, I cry myself to sleep.

* * *

The next day I still feel a bit low, but Alice brightens up my mood as soon as I meet her in English. I give her a small smile as I take my seat.

"Everyone heard about what happened yesterday. I think they're all a bit scared of you now."

"I don't really remember what happened to be honest."

"You must have had a rage block."

"A what?" I ask through a laugh.

"A rage block. You know, getting so mad that your mind blocks out what you're doing."

"Right." I give her an odd look before rolling my eyes, causing her to laugh.

"Alice. Bella. Is there something you'd like to share with the rest of the class?" Mr. Berty says in an annoyed voice.

"No, sir," Alice replies through a giggle.

"Young lady, might I ask what you find so funny?"

"It's nothing, Mr. Berty. She's just had too much sugar. Sorry," I reply, giving him a polite smile. He quirks his brow at me then gives a light nod.

"Very well then."

Mr. Berty begins to explain today's lesson and also hands back our assignment on Romeo and Juliet. I know the play and films backwards so I aced it with flying colors.

"So, anyway. How are things with you and Edward?" she asks me in a whisper.

"They're good."

"Just good?" she asks with a smirk on her face, I narrow my eyes at her and sigh as I lean back into my seat.

"It's going really great, miss nosy. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know? I'm just glad you guys are together."

"Me too."

Alice stares at me with a sly smile on her face. I quirk my brow at her causing her grin to become bigger.

"Just spit it out, Alice."

"Are you guys official now then?"

"What?"

"You know, you were dating at first. So are you official boyfriend and girlfriend yet?"

I'm caught so off guard she keeps looking at me expectantly.

"Oh, um. Yeah, we are." I smile at her sheepishly as a blush runs into my cheeks.

"Oh, my god. That's great!" she exclaims in a whispered voice.

"Girls. If you can't keep quiet, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Keep your conversations for lunch time please."

"Sorry, sir," Alice and I say in unison.

* * *

Everyone stares at me and whisper to each other as I make my way down the hall to Trig on Thursday. I usually have Rose walking by my side, but for some reason she didn't meet me out the front of my English class like she normally does. I stand outside of my classroom door for a few minutes and take a peek through the door window before going in. Mr. Varner isn't in the class yet. Everyone is sitting on top of desks and leaning up against the walls talking to each other. As soon as I walk in and they notice me, they go quiet and stare. Jessica looks up from her seat and glares at me. I walk to my seat and sit down, keeping my eyes on my desk and not on anyone else in the room. Rosalie walks in the room just as the second warning bell rings. Mr. Varner still hasn't turned up, but everyone else gets in their seats anyway.

"Hey. How are you?" Rose asks as she takes her seat.

"Yeah, good. Thanks."

She quirks her brow at me.

"No, seriously. I heard what happened. I can't believe that fucking bitch. I was wondering when you were going to finally snap at her, though."

I sigh and lean down on my desk, resting my head on my arms as I look up at her.

"I'm fine, Rose. I don't even remember it. All I remember is her saying all that horrible stuff and then lunging for her. Then, just blank."

"Hmmm, well. I wish I was there to see you lose it. That would have been entertaining." Her lips turn up into sly grin. I can tell she's picturing everything in her head now. When she looks back at me, I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Everyone keeps staring at me and whispering about me when I walk past. It's so embarrassing."

"Don't worry about it. At least no one will give you any more trouble now."

"Sorry I'm late, class. Meeting ran over time," Mr. Varner says as he enters the room.

He begins to scribble on the chalk board at a fast pace to start his class lesson. I really hate Trigonometry. I think it's the most ridiculous form of Math invented, and I have no idea why it's essential. Why the hell do I want to know about triangles and the relationships between their sides and the angles between sides? Even that sentence is confusing. I mean, it's not like I want to be some sort of astronomer or something.

A piece of paper hits me on my forehead before falling to my desk. Confusion covers my features as I open it.

_I can't believe what you did to Lauren.  
You are such a psycho.  
You better watch your back._

I know that handwriting anywhere. I look up and meet Jessica's narrowed eyes. I look back down at the paper and begin to write a response.

_You can't believe what I did to her?  
What about what she did to me?  
Humiliating me in front of everyone and saying those horrible things to me.  
I may not remember doing what I did, but she sure as hell deserved it.  
So kindly, fuck off._

I scrunch up the paper and throw it at her as hard as I can. It won't do much damage considering its only paper, but I think she gets the point. I watch her as she reads it. If it's even possible, her eyes narrow even further towards the paper before she looks up at me.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" she hisses at me.

"Nothing. It's not my fault you two have nothing better to do than harass me."

"Yeah? And it's not _our _fault that you're a fucking loser. Lauren is right, you know. Edward is going to wake up one day and wonder what the hell he's doing with someone like you. You're pathetic."

Rosalie stands up so abruptly that her seat scrapes against the floor, creating a screeching sound so loud it makes me jump.

"She's pathetic? _You're_ pathetic! Who the fuck do you think you are? Edward is my _brother _so I think I know him pretty well. What? Do you think he belongs with someone like _you_?"

"I. That's not what I –"

"That's not what you meant?" She cuts Jessica off. "What did you mean then? Because Edward would not touch you or Lauren with a twenty foot pole."

"Miss Hale," Mr. Varner interrupts her, but she continues over the top of him.

"You seriously need to stop obsessing over Edward and harassing Bella for no reason."

"Miss Hale," Mr. Varner says a little louder.

"So you better keep your mouth shut and leave Bella alone, or I will make you."

"Miss _Hale! _That's quite enough," Mr. Varner says in a loud voice. Finally getting Rosalie's attention. "I think you should go to the principal's office."

Rosalie's eyes go wide as she turns to face him.

"Are you kidding me? She's harassing my friend and you send _me _to the principal's office?" she asks in disbelief.

"You threatened another student, Rosalie. I can't over look that."

"_So what! _She's a stupid little bitch who keeps harassing Bella!"

"Enough, Rosalie. Go to the principal's office. _Now._"

"This is fucking bullshit," she mumbles as she grabs her bag and storms out the door.

The rest of Trig goes by in a blur. Jessica keeps her eyes at the front of the class and keeps her opinionated letters to herself.

* * *

On Friday during lunch, Rosalie walks over to the table with an annoyed look on her face. She throws all of her weight down when she sits in her chair. She lets out an annoyed sigh as she crosses her arms across her chest.

"What happened?" Alice asks in concern.

"The principal called me up to his office. He's decided to _suspend_ me! Can you believe that?"

"What does that mean? Like suspend you from school?" I ask horrified. This is my entire fault.

"It's an in-school suspension. I only have to have all my classes in some isolated room."

"For how long?" Edward asks.

"A week."

"A week? You mean I'm not gonna see you during school for a fucking week? That's not fair!" Emmett complains.

"It's only a week, Em. And I get to come out at lunch. Calm down, I'll be out in no time. I'm going to kill that fucking bitch, though."

"Isn't that what got you in this position in the first place, Rose? For threatening her?" Jasper asks.

"Whatever," she mumbles under her breath.

"It's going to be interesting watching you tell Mom and Dad about this," He adds with a smirk on his face.

"It'll be alright. Like she said, we still get to see her at lunch," Alice says with confidence in her voice.

"I'm so sorry, Rose," I apologize.

"Don't stress it, Bella."

I sigh and lean back into Edward's chest. He kisses me on the top of my head and begins to play with my hair. Everyone talks about how the party went and how good everyone looked. They then continue to talk about what they're going to do on the weekend.

"Come over this afternoon," Edward whispers in my ear. I smile to myself before looking up at him.

"Okay," I reply. He leans down and kisses me softly on the lips.

* * *

When we walk into his house, Esme and Carlisle are lounging on the couch together. Esme smiles at me just as Carlisle waves at us. I smile and wave back before Edward entwines our hands and walks us into the living room. He sits down on one of the single couches, pulling me onto his lap. A blush covers my cheeks as I fidget around until I get comfortable.

"It's nice to see you again, Bella," Carlisle greets me.

"You too, Carlisle." I smile at him before tucking a strand of hair behind my hair.

"How are you, honey?" Esme asks with concern in her eyes. I give her a puzzled look, which gets me a sheepish smile from her. "I heard about the incident at school," she adds.

"Oh, I'm okay. I don't really, um. Remember much of it." I look down at my hands embarrassed.

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella. It's very common for that to happen," Carlisle says.

"What do you mean?" I ask intrigued.

"Well, if someone has a lot on their mind and have been bottling a lot of feelings inside. When they finally snap, the mind blocks out the trauma when the emotions and body take over the brain." _So that's what Alice was babbling on about. _He gives me a small smile before leaning over and resting his hand over mine. "Have you thought about counseling, Bella?" he asks me.

"What the fuck, Carlisle? She isn't crazy, she doesn't need counseling. Anyone would have reacted the way she did towards Lauren."

"Edward. You don't know what Bella has been through. You don't know what's happened in her past," he says in a stern voice.

"Neither do you!" Edward says raising his voice.

I look between them before taking a breath and speaking.

"I'm still here, you know," I say softly before adding. "I've had counseling. It didn't help."

"How long did you do it for?" he asks, still holding onto my hand.

"Not long. Like I said, it didn't work."

"Did you open up completely to the counselor?"

"I don't like talking to strangers," I say quietly. He squeezes my hand before letting it go and leaning back into the couch.

"What about friends? Did you try talking to them?"

"Jesus Christ, Dad. Will you leave her alone?" Edward groans. I turn around to face him before leaning into him. I rarely hear him call Carlisle Dad. I cup his cheek and look into his eyes.

"Its okay, Edward," I reassure him before pecking him on the lips. I've never had anyone look out for me the way he does. Well, not since my mom left.

"I didn't have any friends until you moved to town," I tell Carlisle. "Well, I had Jessica. But we had a falling out," I add.

"What? You two were friends?" Edward asks in disbelief.

"Best friends," I whisper.

Edward wraps his arms around my waist before sitting up.

"Well, bugger me. Why is she such a bitch to you?"

"Um…"

"Mom, Dad. I have something I have to tell you," Rosalie interrupts. Thank god. I sigh a relief for the attention being off me.

"I don't think I like the sound of that," Esme says in a concerned voice.

"Mmm, I don't think you will either."

"What's happened?" Carlisle asks. Rosalie purses her lips and looks at me. I give her a small apologetic smile. She looks back to her parents.

"Well, I kind of... got suspended."

"You what?" Carlisle says in an annoyed voice.

"I'm sorry! Jessica was being a real bitch to Bella. She and Lauren just will not leave her alone!"

"What did you do Rosalie?" Esme asks in a calm voice.

"I had a go at her, and I may or may not have threatened her a little."

"Rosalie, I know you're passionate about when people mess with your friends and family, but you just can't do that kind of thing, sweetie."

"I just had enough of her bullshit. It's only an in school suspension."

"That's not the point, Rosalie," Carlisle says through an exasperated sigh.

"I know. I'm sorry," she says softly before finally looking into her father's eyes. He rolls his eyes and smiles at her. She smiles back and breathes a sigh of relief. "So what's my punishment?" She asks.

"Well you seem to have already been punished by the school, so I'm not sure what else we can do," Esme says.

"Esme," Carlisle says firmly before adding. "We can confiscate her phone for a week."

"Argh, seriously, Dad?" Rose whines.

"Yes, seriously," Carlisle says in a firm voice.

"Fine," she complains before walking out of the room. Edward begins to get up, I hold onto his arms as I slide off him.

"Alright, well we're just gonna go hang out in my room," he says as he entwines our hands and walks us out of the room.

"Leave the door open," Carlisle calls out to us.

Edward scoffs and shakes his head. "Fat chance," he says in an amused voice.

Once we're in his room, we lay on the bed in our usual positions. We lay there in silence while he plays with my hair and I trace little circles on his arms and hands.

"When did you and Jessica stop being friends?" He asks me out of nowhere. My whole body freezes abruptly. Edward continues to play with my hair.

"When we were thirteen," I reply quietly.

"Why?"

"It's a long story."

"I have time to listen." He kisses my forehead. I sigh and snuggle closer to him. I can feel his eyes on me. I look up at him.

"My mom left when I was twelve. I guess I just shut down and she got sick of it."

"What do you mean by she left?"

I look away, untangle myself from him and sit up. I wrap my arms around my legs, resting my chin on my arms.

"I don't know. She left. She doesn't live with us anymore. I really don't want to talk about this right now, Edward." I can feel my eyes begin to sting. Edward notices this and gives me a small smile before taking my hand and pulling me over to him, wrapping his arms around me.

"It's okay, you don't have to." I breathe a sigh of relief before turning my face into the crook of his neck, placing a kiss there.

"Thank you," I whisper.

A few hours pass by the time there's a knock on his door. Esme pops her head around the door before walking in. She smiles at us then sits at the end of Edward's bed.

"Didn't Carlisle tell you to keep the door open?" She asks with a smirk on her face.

"Like that will ever happen," Edward replies, also with a smirk on his face.

"Right, well. I just came up to see if Bella would like to stay for dinner." Her eyes find mine. I bite my bottom lip as I sit up.

"It's that late already?" I ask. She nods her head. "I actually think I should head home soon, Esme. But thank you for asking." I smile at her sheepishly before wrapping my arms around my legs again.

"That's alright, honey." She places her hand on top of my arm and squeezes it before adding, "I was also wondering, since it's been a few weeks since i asked, if you'd like to come over tomorrow and have a little cooking session with me?"

My lips automatically turn up into a smile. I was wondering when she would ask me to come over and cook with her. I have to admit, I do miss cooking just for fun. The only time I ever cook these days is for Charlie's dinner or when I need to whip up something quick. I nod my head before saying, "That would be great. I'll call Edward when I'm leaving."

She kisses Edward and I on our cheeks before leaving the room. As soon as the door closes, Edward wraps his arms around me, pulls me on top of him, and then rolls us over so he's laying over me. He brushes my hair out of my face before cupping my cheek. He leans down slowly and presses his lips to mine. I smile against his lips before kissing him back. My arms make their way up his back into the back of his hair, pulling him closer to me. I bite his bottom lip softly causing him to chuckle before darting his tongue inside my mouth. I moan as our tongues begin to assault each other. My breathing becomes heavier as he pulls away and begins to kiss my jaw, traveling down to my neck and collarbone.

"I should probably go," I whisper.

"No," he says, planting another kiss on my jaw.

"Edward. I really have to go."

"Mmmm." He kisses me on the side of my mouth. I chuckle to myself, placing my hand on his chest and push him away lightly. He pouts his lips at me before looking into my eyes and gracing me with his crooked grin.

"Fine," he mumbles before climbing off of me and standing at the side of his bed, looking down at me. I automatically miss the warmth of his body against mine. I sigh before getting up. I entwine my hand with his and lead us downstairs. We walk to my car. He kisses me softly on the lips before opening the car door for me. I climb in and wave to him before I drive away.

When I arrive home, Charlie isn't home. I go to the kitchen and pick up the phone, dialing Harry's number. He answers on the third ring.

"_Hello?" _

"Hey, Harry. It's Bella, is Charlie there?"

"_Oh hey, Bella. Yeah he is did you want to speak to him?"_

"No it's alright, Harry. Just wanted to know where he was. Have you had dinner yet?"

"_Was just about to order some pizza, actually. Sorry Bells."_

"No, that's alright, thanks Harry."

"_Bye, Bella."_

"Bye."

I hang the phone back onto the wall. I go to the freezer and pull out the left over ravioli that Esme gave me from last week. I clean up the dirty dishes while I wait for it to cook. Once it's done, I eat it slowly, letting my mind wander. I can't believe I told Edward about my mother. I may not have given him the whole story because it became too hard to keep talking. But telling him felt good. Like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I've never felt like this before in my life. It's such a strange feeling. If my mom was here she would tell me that I'm falling in love, but I know it can't be that. I'm too messed up to fall in love. And I'm way too young and vulnerable. I've been hurt way too much to let myself feel that strongly about someone, just to have it taken away from me.

I wash the dish and cutlery before heading upstairs. I have a quick shower. Once I'm done, I wrap the towel around me and head into my room. While I'm dressing, I realize I accidentally left my pajama shorts in Charlie's pile of washing. I go into Charlie's room and look around, I can't find them anywhere. I don't know why, but something makes me look under his bed and there they are. As I grab them, I see an envelope. I pick it up and take it into my room.

I hang my towel over my desk chair before opening the envelope. Inside is a letter addressed to Charlie. I know it's rude to read other people's mail and what not, but I'd know that handwriting anywhere; it's my mothers. I open the letter and I read it.

_Charlie,  
I know it's been a while since you've heard from me.  
But I just wanted to know how you and Bella are doing.  
I'm so sorry for leaving the way I did, but I have my reasons.  
I have a lot to explain to you, so I hope I hear back from you soon.  
Love, Renee._

Once I've finished reading what it says. I notice the date from when it was sent. April 16th 2009. Last year. The tears pool up in my eyes and fall over as I sit down on my bed, the letter falling from my fingers.

* * *

**My writers block is finally gone! I have discovered that music blaring in my ears is what helps me write. I wrote this within two days. I cannot express how happy i am that my head is finally back to normal. Thank you all so much for your kind words and support. I can't believe I'm up to chapter 15 already. I've outlined my story, and it's going to be roughly around 41 chapters including the Epilogue... Wow, that's really long... So i don't blame you if you end up flouncing. But if you don't it will be very appreciated :) Thankyou SO MUCH to my amazing Beta Jenndur. You are seriously too amazing. I don't know what i would do without you. xoxox**

**-natalee-x**


	16. Cooking

_**Chapter Sixteen**_ _– (cooking)_

* * *

**EPOV**

There's a loud, annoying buzzing noise ringing in my ear. _What time is it? _I think to myself. I groan, rubbing my eyes before I look at my radio clock on my bedside table and notice that it's 11:30 am. My phone turns out to be the culprit— it's Bella.

"Hey, beautiful," I greet her, my voice still thick with sleep.

"_Don't tell me you only just woke up,"_ she says with amusement in her voice.

"No, I didn't," I lie.

"_Of course you didn't," _she says through a chuckle before adding, _"I'm about to leave in a few minutes, I'll be over before lunch." _

"Okay. Hey, are you all right?" I ask her.

"_What? Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"_

"You just sound different. Like something's bothering you."

"_How can you tell something like that over the phone?" _she asks.

"I don't know. I just can," I tell her confidently.

She sighs into the phone. _"I'm fine, Edward."_

"Okay, just checking."

"_Mmmm, well I should probably go now. I'll see you soon."_

"Okay."

She hangs up, leaving me with a smile on my face. I drag myself out of bed to have a shower. The hot water feels great on my muscles and always helps me wake up properly. Once I feel clean and alert, I get out and get dressed in black jeans and a plain white T.

I go downstairs and head into the kitchen. It's nearly lunch time, and Bella and Esme are clearly going to cook up a feast for it, so I just poor a glass of milk and pull out the grapes from the fridge. Once I have my bowl of grapes, I head into the living room. Emmett, Rose, Jazz and Ali are all lounging around, chatting with the TV on in the background. I sit down on the floor next to Alice, and she smiles before stealing a grape from me.

"Where are my grapes, you selfish prick?" Emmett says with a smirk on his face.

"I'm not your slave. Get your own food you disgusting pig," I scold him

"Not cool, man."

"Whatever. Don't be such a pussy." He narrows his eyes at me before throwing a pillow at my face.

"For fuck sakes, Em, I have a bowl of grapes here!"

"Serves you right for being so greedy, asshole." He says before smirking at me so hard, I'm surprised his face hasn't cracked. I give him the bird and throw a grape at him. The dickhead sees this coming and catches it in his mouth.

"Fucking pig," I mumble.

"So, how's Bella?" Alice asks out of nowhere. I give her a confused expression. She shrugs her shoulders before adding, "I came upstairs to wake you up this morning, but you were already awake and on the phone to her. I overheard you say that she sounded like something was bothering her." She gives me an apologetic smile causing me to roll my eyes at her.

"Jesus Christ, Ali. I don't know. She said she was fine,"

"Fair enough," she says through a sigh.

"We're all worried about her, Edward. Carlisle told us what you were talking about before I interrupted yesterday," says Rosalie.

"Yeah, well. Carlisle had no right to bombard her with questions like that. She was completely embarrassed. He could have asked to speak to her privately or something. I mean, none of that shit is any of our business unless she tells us herself. And we can't force her to tell us what's bothering her, can we? And I sure as hell won't push her to tell me what's wrong either," I rant in an annoyed voice.

"Just trying to look out for her, mate," Jazz adds.

There's a knock at the door; we all know who it is. Esme meets Bella at the door. Bella looks into the living room and smiles at me before walking over to us.

"Hey," she greets us.

Emmett grins at her, Rose waves at her enthusiastically, Alice squeals "Hi, Bella!" and Jazz gives her a light smile.

"What's up, you wanna chill out with us for a bit?" Rose asks.

"Oh, no. None of that. Today is Bella and my bonding time."

"Jeez, Esme, can you get anymore controlling?" Emmett jokes.

"Excuse me, young man, but Bella and I organized this last night thank you very much. Now if you don't mind, we have some cooking to do."

I take a hold of Bella's wrist and pull her down towards me. I plant a soft kiss on her lips before Esme takes her hand in hers and leads her into the kitchen. I get up and follow them. I walk over to Bella and kiss her on the cheek before washing my bowl and putting it in the dish rack.

"What are you doing in here? This is my and Bella's time, get out of the kitchen," Esme scolds me.

"Calm down, Esme, I'm just coming to see my girl."

At that moment Carlisle walks into the kitchen.

"Your girl, Edward? So you're official now?"

I roll my eyes at his obvious amusement. "Not that it's any of your damn business, but yes."

"Oh! I'm so happy for the two of you!" Esme exclaims excitedly.

"Uhh, thanks," Bella replies, a blush covering her cheeks.

"Aw, look at you getting all embarrassed and shit," I tease her.

"Edward! Do you always have to swear?" she asks, shock lacing her voice.

"Don't act like you don't like my dirty mouth, Bella." I wink at her, causing her to blush deeper. She bites her bottom lip before a small smile forms on her face.

"Edward! Get out. Now," Esme says frustrated.

"No, no, alright, I promise to be good."

"Mmmhhhm, of course you do," Bella says, quirking her brow at me.

Esme begins to get everything ready, pulling different things out of all the cupboards. I always thought I was an alright cook because of Esme's teaching, but her cooking is amazing. And what I've tasted of Bella's cooking, she isn't too bad herself. I sit back and relax, watching them do their thing while they chat.

"Did you get home alright last night, Bella?" Esme asks her.

"Yeah. I had the Ravioli you gave me for dinner, actually. It was still as good as it was last week."

"That's a great thing about freezers. They keep food good for a long time." She smiles at Bella as she pats her shoulder.

"Did you seriously just swoon over a freezer, Mom?" I ask her playfully. She rolls her eyes at me and gives me a pointed look. I run my finger across my mouth, indicating that I'm zipping my lips.

Everything is going great, that is until Esme brings up Bella's mom again.

"Esme…" I cut her off.

"What Edward? Why do you always do that?" she asks in a frustrated tone.

"She hasn't seen her mother since she was twelve, so stop bringing her up in conversations for Christ sake!" I say, my voice raising an octave.

"Edward, don't talk to your mother that way," Carlisle says in a firm voice. Why does he always have to come strolling in at the wrong time?

"Well, shit. Sorry for trying to make her life easier."

"Edward… Just leave it alone. Don't fight with your parents because of me," Bella says in a panicked voice. I cup her face in my hand. She leans into the touch, looking into my eyes.

"We aren't fighting baby, just having a heated conversation," I assure her quietly.

"Well just, don't," she says firmly.

"Alright. Shit, don't get all angry tiger over it."

"Angry tiger. Really, Edward?" she says quirking her brow at me.

"I'm really sorry, honey, I didn't know," Esme apologizes.

"It's alright, Esme, I just don't like talking about my mother. It isn't your fault, like you said. You didn't know," Bella replies in a soft voice.

"Alright, well let's get this show on the road," Esme says excitedly as she rubs her hands together.

"What are we cooking?" Bella asks.

"Anything you want!" I exclaim.

"Edward, get out of the kitchen, you're going to be a distraction," Esme whines.

"Bella likes my distractions, don't you baby?" She laughs and shakes her head at me.

"Do you want a kiss? C'mon, cook, I'll give you a kiss." I pout my lips and close the distance between us. She laughs, trying to wriggle out of the trap.

"I think Esme's right. You're going to be a too big of a distraction. Out you go."

She begins to push me out of the kitchen. I spin around and peck her on the lips before saying, "You can't escape me, baby, I'm faster than the flash!"

I run out of the kitchen. When I take a glance back at her, she's holding her fingers to her mouth with a small smile on her lips. I smile to myself as I walk back into the living room. I watch TV with the rest of the gang for about an hour before Bella comes out.

"Hey." she smiles at everyone else before saying, "Um, lunch is ready."

"Yes! I'm starving!" Emmett hollers as he gets up. He high fives Bella when he walks past her. She laughs to herself.

I get up off the floor and walk into the dining room. I pull out Bella's chair for her before sitting down myself. Esme and Bella have gone all out. There are homemade bread rolls, a Caesar salad, chicken breast, ham and homemade salad dressings. Everyone digs in.

"So do you all like it?" Esme asks us.

"This is amazing. You are such a good cook, Mom."

"Yeah, Mom this salad is really good," Alice adds.

"Bella actually made that salad," Esme corrects them.

"It's seriously really good, Bella. Good job," Rosalie approves.

"Thanks," Bella replies with a small smile on her face.

Once we all finish eating lunch, Bella and I and the others go up to my room to watch a movie. Halfway through the movie, the others leave. Bella snuggles closer to me and rests her head on my chest. It begins to get late. When I look at my radio clock, it says its 10:30 pm.

"Hey, do you want to stay the night?"

"Will Alice be okay with that? It's kind of last minute," She asks uncertainly.

"No, I meant in here. With me."

Bella sits up so fast she almost falls off the bed, I take hold of her arms to steady her and the panic in her eyes hits me straight through the chest.

"With you? In the same bed?" she asks once she's composed herself.

"Yeah. I mean, nothing's going to happen unless you want it too."

"Oh." She breathes a sigh of relief.

"Well, you can stay in Alice's room if you want to," I say quietly. Trying to keep my disappointment out of my voice. She takes my face in her hands and kisses me on the lips. That's meant to be something I do. I have never felt like such a pussy in my life than in this moment.

"No, it's okay. Sorry for freaking out." She smiles sheepishly at me before climbing into my lap. I wrap my arms around her waist and kiss her on the cheek.

"You know I'd never force you to do anything, right? I'm not like that."

"No, I know. I'm just um, not used to the whole having a boyfriend thing," She says nervously.

When she looks into my eyes, I can see the vulnerability in them. I give her a reassuring smile before taking her hand in mine and entwining our fingers together. I raise her hand to my face, pressing my lips into her palm.

"You're so sweet." I laugh quietly to myself at her statement. Only Bella would say something like that to me.

"Hmm, that's new. Everyone else thinks I'm an asshole."

"That's because they don't know the real you and don't understand you. The way you treat me… I haven't been treated this kindly in a long time. No one who treats me the way you do could be an asshole," She says matter-of -factly. She places her index and middle finger under my chin, lifting it slightly. She presses her lips to mine. I smile against her lips.

"I need to call Charlie, to let him know I'm staying the night." Her facial features turn into a sour expression at the mention of her father's name.

"Will he be angry?" I ask her anxiously.

"Too bad if he is. I'm seventeen, he can't control me."

She grabs her phone of my bedside table and dials his number. She climbs back into my lap as she waits for him to answer.

"Hi, it's me. Just letting you know I'm staying at Edward's tonight." I watch her carefully as her jaw becomes rigid. He's clearly being difficult again.

"No, I'm staying in Edward's room actually." My eyes go wide, but when she looks at me, she gives me a reassuring smile before sighing heavily into the phone.

"Nothing is going to happen, Charlie. I can look after myself. Not that it concerns you, anyway." She rolls her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"You lost your right as my father when you became a drunk. Goodbye, Charlie," she declares firmly before hanging up on him and adding, "He's so frustrating sometimes!"

"Yes. Well, that was certainly interesting." I feel my lips turn up into a smirk. "Anyway, I should probably find you something to wear for bed. Unless you want to wear one of the girl's clothes," I add.

"To be honest, I prefer wearing baggy clothes to bed."

A blush creeps into her cheeks and she bites her bottom lip as she realizes what she's just said. I laugh quietly, causing her to narrow her eyes at me. She slides off of me so I can get up and raid my closest. I find an old Linkin Park band shirt and a pair of black football shorts for her to wear. She takes them out of my hands and sits on the bed as I head into the bathroom to have a shower. I make it quick, and when she walks past me into the bathroom, I kiss her on the cheek. I go and lay on my bed while she showers.

As soon as she walks out of the bathroom door, she takes my breath away. She makes an old Band T-shirt and football shorts look absolutely gorgeous. I smirk at her as she closes the distance between us and crawls into bed. I wrap my arm around her as she snuggles in close to me, draping her arm across my stomach and laying her head on my chest. I kiss her on the top of her head and feel her sigh contently. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. She still smells like strawberries.

"Edward?" she addresses me in a quiet voice

"Yeah?" I reply.

"Why did you choose me?"

"What do you mean?" I ask her confused.

"Well you were like the shiny new toy. Everybody wanted you. You could have had anyone you wanted."

"And I wanted you," I tell her confidently.

"But why?" she asks anxiously.

"Bella, why are you talking like this? Are you sure nothings wrong?"

"No, I'm fine. I don't know, I told you before. I'm just not used to this."

I take a minute to think about what she's saying before I answer her.

"You were the first girl I met. When I saw you mumbling to yourself and having a personal hissy fit when you fell on that patch of ice, I just thought it was so cute. You looked so defeated, though–"

"So you like me out of pity?" She cuts me off in a disappointed voice. I sigh heavily and groan.

"No, Bella. I'm saying that something about you just pulled me in. You aren't like anyone I've ever met. All the girls who have ever showed they're interested in me were always so shallow. They only want me because of my looks. There's something about you that's just so raw and real. It's like when I look at you I can see into your soul. When I walked over to help you, you didn't act all giddy and flirty with me. You just treated me like a normal human being." I lift her chin up towards me and wait for her to look me in the eyes before adding, "So that's why I chose you. Also the fact that you are the most beautiful girl with the most captivating eyes I have ever seen."

She nods her head and smiles sheepishly at me and says, "Okay" so quietly, I'm not one hundred percent certain she said it.

"Bella. If something was bothering you, you would tell me right?" i ask her.

"Of course i would," she replies.

"But something _is_ bothering you, isn't it?" i ask her again.

"Edward. I'm _fine,"_

"Every time a woman says she's fine, usually means she isn't, Bella." she looks up at me, eyes glazed over with un shed tears. "You know i wont ever force you to talk to me if you don't want too. But i just want you to know I'm always here for you, no matter what. Okay?" she blinks. A tear falling down her face. I wipe it away with my thumb before leaning down and kissing her cheek.

"Thank you. I don't want to keep things from you, i just. I'm not ready to talk about what's wrong yet. I'm happy right now. I'm happy when I'm with you, Edward. And i don't want to bring down my mood when I'm with you," she confesses, her eyes pleading for me to accept that as her answer.

"Okay," i reply.

I smile at her softly. She smiles back, before a yawn overtakes her. A chuckle escapes my lips at her embarrassed expression.

"Go to sleep, Baby," i whisper.

She nestles in closer to me, sighing contently before closing her eyes again. I play with her hair and place light kisses on her forehead as I watch her fall asleep quickly.

I really don't understand how insecure she can be. How can she not see how amazing she is? I know she doesn't like talking about her past, but I really wish she would. I want to understand why she feels the way she does sometimes. I hate seeing her so unsure of herself. And Charlie sure as hell doesn't help things. If your own flesh and blood can say the most horrible things to you, bringing your spirit down to the extent that you honestly believe you aren't worth anyone's time, is the most cruel thing family can do to you. And physically harming you of course, I still can't believe he hit her. I swear to god, if he ever hits her again, I will get his ass thrown in jail so fast he won't see it coming.

I take a deep breath to calm myself. After a few minutes, I close my eyes, letting exhaustion overtake me.

The last thing I hear before I fall asleep is Bella mumbling my name.

* * *

**Hey everyone. Sorry for the late update, i've been super busy writing and i had soccer training yesterday. This chapter is all about exploring Edward and Bella's relationship/feelings. Hit me up with a review to let me know what you think of the chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.**

**natalee-x**


	17. Invitations

_**Chapter Seventeen – **__(Invitations)_

* * *

**_BPOV_**

My dreams were filled with memories of my mother, which eventually morphed into dreams of Edward. I know I talk in my sleep so I hope I didn't mumble anything too embarrassing. I yawn as I open my eyes. I look over at Edward's radio clock— it's 9:30AM. I look up at Edward and see that he's still asleep. I've never seen anything so beautiful. He begins to stir, his lips turning up into a smile.

"I can feel you staring at me."

"Sorry," I apologize through a quiet laugh.

His left eye opens as his right stays closed. He wraps his arms around me, rolls onto his back and pulls me on top of him. I wrap my arms around his neck and hold him close to me.

"How did you sleep?" he asks as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Great. What about you?"

"Amazingly," he replies with a smirk on his face. I blush before burying my face into his chest. He cups my face in his hands, forcing me to look at him.

"Don't hide from me."

"Why not?" I ask, my voice laced with amusement.

He rolls his eyes before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. My lips automatically turn up into a smile before I begin to kiss him back. Both of our hands find their way into each other's hair. Edwards's arms travel down my back. He grabs the back of my thighs and pulls my body up closer to him. I end up with a leg on each side of his hips, crouching over him making it easier for us to make out. His hands travel back to my hair, placing all of it to one side before sitting up and crossing his legs as I continue to straddle him. He breaks the kiss and moves to my neck, sucking on it lightly before placing kisses along my collar bone. My head automatically turns to the side, giving him easier access. His hands travel down my back and cup my ass. I freeze at the contact for a few seconds causing him to pull his hands away abruptly and leaning away from me to look me in the eyes.

"Too much?" he asks. His voice is husky. I think about what he's asking and realize I didn't actually mind, I was just shocked. I shake my head at him slowly before smiling softly to myself.

"No. I was just surprised," I say in a quiet voice.

His mouth turns up into that crooked smile that always takes my breath away. I keep my eyes on his as his hands travel back down to my ass and he squeezes. I bit my bottom lip and I feel my cheeks burn into a blush. He releases one of my bottom cheeks, bringing his fingers to my lips and lightly pulling my bottom lip out from teeth's death grip. A giggle escapes my lips before I place my hands on either side of his face, and lean down to capture his mouth with mine. We pick up from where we left off.

* * *

Someone barges into Edward's room, making the door bang into the wall with a loud thump. I literally fall off of Edward from fear and shock of being caught. I look over at the door and notice that the culprit is Emmett, as usual. I feel my cheeks flush. Edward wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me back into his lap with a scowl on his face.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?" Emmett questions in an amused tone. Edward groans and runs his hand over his face.

"For fuck sake, Emmett. Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Edwards yells at him. Emmett rolls his eyes before looking at me, his lips turning into a smirk.

"Chill out, Eddie."

"No, I won't chill out! This is my fucking room you have no right to just barge in here! If it was the other way around and I barged into your room while Rosalie was in there, you'd be blowing my head off too!"

"True," Emmett agrees.

I feel Edward's hands ball into fists in my lap and feel his chest rising and falling quite fast as he begins to get worked up. I place my hands over his lacing them together. I twist around in his lap and look into his eyes before leaning down and whispering, "Calm down, baby. It's alright." in his ear. I feel the tension leave his body almost straight away as he plants a kiss on my cheek. I smile softly at him. He smiles back.

I turn back to Emmett with an annoyed look on my face. He looks taken aback for a second before he composes himself and smirks at me again.

"What would you like, Emmett?" I ask him.

"Just wanted to come say hi and see what you guys were doing today, but I've _clearly _interrupted something."

"Yes. Well, like Edward said. You could have knocked before barging in here."

"Easy there, Tiger. I just need to talk to him about something for a second."

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll just um, go get dressed then," I mumble embarrassed.

Edward tightens his hold on me. I turn around and quickly kiss him on the lips before climbing out of his lap and going into the bathroom. I hear their muffled voices as I get changed. I think I hear my name mentioned a few times but I can't be sure. I poke my head around the bathroom door once I hear Edward's bedroom door close. Edward is sitting at the foot of his bed with no shirt on, and his hands in his hair. I walk out of the bathroom and go sit by him on the bed. He looks up at me and smiles as he feels the bed shift under my weight.

"Hey," he greets me.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask him concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine. Emmett just came up to talk to me about Thanksgiving next weekend. He, uh, asked if I was gonna invite you or not since now we're official or whatever."

This takes me by surprise. I completely forgot about Thanksgiving coming up which is honestly not like me at all considering that's when my Mom abandoned me and I'm constantly thinking about that day.

"Okay…" I say, waiting for him to elaborate.

"So, uh, do you want to come to Thanksgiving dinner next weekend?" he asks me.

"Oh, I mean. If Charlie doesn't want me home. Then yeah, sure."

"Does he ever want you home?" he asks, annoyance clear in his voice.

"I don't know," I say quietly before adding, "What's that supposed to mean anyway?"

"Well no offence, Bella, but he's an asshole and he hit you, so you shouldn't even be doing shit for him on Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about spending time with the people you love and sharing what you're thankful for. I don't see you being thankful to him for much, do you?" he asks.

I have to admit he makes a good point and I don't blame him for feeling that way either, but Thanksgiving hasn't been like that for me for a very long time. It's just a holiday filled with bad memories to me now, and I can't tell Edward that. Thanksgiving is obviously something important for him and his family.

I sigh before moving back onto the bed and pulling my legs up, wrapping my arms around them. Edward turns around and looks at me with wonder and concern clear in his eyes, me want to tell him all of my secrets and deepest fears, but he never makes me talk about it if I don't want to.

"Yeah, I know. Thanksgiving hasn't felt like that for me for a long time though," I reply with sadness beginning to form in my voice.

"What? Why?" he asks, moving closer to me and taking his hand in mine.

"Because of my Mom," I say quietly. He places his hand on my cheek. I lean into the touch before looking into his eyes. I've told him little bits of my life that have happened, so he knows I won't elaborate about why my mom left and he never pushes me too either. It's like he gets me without me even having to tell him anything. I change the subject back to Charlie.

"I hate living there with him, I do. But I don't have anywhere else to go. I just have to put up with it for a few more years." I feel my eyes sting before a tear slips down my cheek. Edward sighs before leaning over and kissing it away, getting a small smile out of me.

"No father should ever treat his daughter that way, Bella. It's just wrong," he says in a concerned voice. I move closer to him. He wraps his arms around me as I lean into his chest.

"He's not my father. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that," I reply.

"Yeah. Sorry, I just hate the way he treats you. Especially since I found out he was the one who put that bruise on your face," he says as he strokes the place where there is only now a light bruise.

"Anyway, let's not let that asshole ruin our day. Let's go get some breakfast," he adds as he begins to carry me off the bed with him.

"Okay," I say through a laugh. Steadying myself as we stand.

I take another glance at his clock— 11:30. We make our way downstairs into the kitchen. Edward goes to the cupboard and grabs out two bowls before going to another cupboard and pulls out a cereal called Coco Pops. When he gets the milk out of the fridge and comes to sit next to me, I quirk my brow at him before looking at the cereal. He gives me a confused look before shock covers his features as realization sinks in.

"Don't tell me you've never had Coco Pops before?" he asks emphatically.

I purse my lips and bite my bottom lip before shaking my head.

"Oh my god. You're kidding!" he says through a chuckle. I narrow my eyes at him before replying.

"Afraid not."

"Don't worry, you're going to love it. It's like a party in your mouth," he replies before pulling the bowl closer to him, pouring the cereal and then the milk into the bowl as well. I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm not incompetent, you know. I can do that myself," I inform him. He chuckles before pushing my bowl over to me. Looking at me expectantly, he keeps his eyes on me as I pull the bowl closer to me and take my first mouth full. He was right— it's like a party in your mouth. The chocolate on the cereal melts in your mouth. It also makes the milk into a chocolate kind of milk, giving it more flavor. And the cereal is crunchy which is always a plus.

"Well?" he asks. My lips form up into a smile. I look up at him to see that he's looking at me expectantly again.

"Like a party in your mouth," I quote him. His expression turns into amusement before he smiles and leans over and kisses me lightly on the lips.

He pulls away and says "Told ya," before he begins to eat his breakfast.

* * *

Once we finished breakfast, we went into the lounge room, snuggling on the couch together. We're eventually joined by Jasper and Alice.

"Hey, guys!" Alice greets us enthusiastically as she enters the room. I smile at her before looking over at Jasper. He's smirking at Edward. I look to Edward. He's narrowing his eyes at Jasper. Emmett has clearly shared with Jasper what he walked in on.

"Hey, Alice," I reply.

"What are you going to get up to today? Do you want to hang out with us?" she asks. Edward chuckles by my side.

"Yeah, okay. Actually do you wanna hang out with just us?" I ask her.

"Okay!" she replies excitedly. I look at Edward and smile at him softly.

"Is that alright?" I ask him quietly.

"Of course it's okay, baby. Go have some girl time." He leans in and kisses me on the lips.

Alice takes her hand in mine and pulls me off the couch, leading me out the back door. Their backyard is huge; it's so wide and spaced out. There's a huge pool to one side of the yard with a waterfall and rock decoration theme around it. A hammock hanging in between two trees, a barbeque in one corner, a table on the pavement and a picnic table down towards the back of the yard. Alice and I walk to the picnic table and sit cross legged facing each other on top of it. She grins at me and I know I'm about to be interrogated.

"So how was your night?" she asks.

"Yeah, it was good. Felt a bit different sleeping with someone else though."

"You slept in the same bed as me when you stayed over last time,"

"Yeah, but that was different. We are, weren't um," I go quiet, unable to finish the sentence.

"Spooning?" she asks.

"Uh. Yeah," I reply with a blush running into my cheeks.

"Emmett told me what he walked in on this morning. You're clearly becoming more comfortable with Edward," she states.

"Yeah, well. Emmett needs to learn to knock for one," I reply in an annoyed voice. She laughs before grinning at me. I shake my head at her and roll my eyes.

"But yeah. I guess I've become more comfortable. I don't know how to explain it, Alice. Every time I'm with him, I just don't seem to care about anything else. He makes me feel so alive and happy. I've never felt like this before. I love this feeling, but it scares me so much sometimes,"

She looks at me closely before taking her hands in mine.

"Why are you scared?" she asks quietly. When I look into her eyes, I know I can confide in her. She's always been there when I've needed her.

"Because every day I'm with him I can feel my walls coming down, and every time he looks at me with that glimmer in his eyes it makes my heart race. I know I sound like a love sick child, but it's honestly like he's bought me back to life or something. You saw me when you first moved here. I isolated myself from everybody and avoided you as much as I could – "

"I know, Bella. And I don't want to pry but do you mind if I ask why you did that? Why would you isolate yourself from everybody like that?" she asks cutting me off.

"You already know that my mom left. And you know I don't like talking about her. I don't know. It just really affected me, as it would. I wouldn't talk to Jess so she ended up giving up on trying to reach me. She wasn't like you. You kept on persisting to befriend me. And when I began to get to know Edward, I knew I was done for. He told me to give you a chance and by that time I'd already decided to give in to you."

"Well I'm glad you did." She leans on her knees and embraces me in a tight hug. I hug her back and breathe a sigh of relief.

"But that doesn't explain why you're scared of your feelings," she adds.

"I'm scared because I've never experiences these feelings before and I have a hard time trusting people,"

"But you don't have to worry about Edward hurting you. He would never do that," she insists.

"I know, Ali. That's not what I mean. My life always felt so dark and as though I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, but now it's so carefree and I actually feel happy again. I haven't felt happiness in a long time. I'm scared of losing this feeling," I confess. I look up at Alice and see that she has tears falling down her face. Shock overcomes me causing me to move closer to her, taking her hands in mine.

"What's wrong?" I ask her concerned. She shakes her head before smiling and wiping her tears away.

"I just hate that you've gone through this. You deserve to be happy. You're my best friend, Bella. I want you to be happy, not scared," she says through a cracked voice. Tears pool in my eyes and fall down my face before I envelop her in a hug. We cry together for a few minutes before getting our act together.

"Thank you."

"For what?" she asks.

"For everything," I reply.

She smiles at me softly before squeezing my hand and climbing off the table before saying, "We should probably get back inside."

'Yeah," I agree. I climb off the table before walking over to Alice. She wraps her arm around me as we walk back to the house.

* * *

When Alice and I go back inside, she and Jasper leave to go out for dinner at Port Angeles. I didn't notice how long we were out there talking for. It ended up being 2:00 PM by the time we got back to the house.

I walk over to Edward sitting on the couch. I place my hand on his knees and lean down. He graces me with a smile before I place my lips to his. He sits up; wrapping his arms around my waist and pulls me onto his lap. I straddle him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulls away and pushes my hair to one side again. Planting soft kisses along my jaw traveling down to my neck.

"You're so beautiful," he mumbles against my skin.

I lean my head back and bite my bottom lip. How can one touch by him make me feel so alive? He always says sweet things like that to me as well. He's always saying that I'm beautiful. He told me that I'm nothing like the other girls that have shown interest in him— the ones that pack on the makeup. He said I don't need makeup to make myself look beautiful because I have a natural beauty. This is great in my case considering I never wear makeup unless it's absolutely necessary.

Like I said to Alice earlier, Edward makes me feel things I've never felt before. Whenever I'm with anybody else, it sometimes gets so hard to be myself, but I feel so different whenever I'm with him. When we're together, we don't even have to talk to feel content. Sometimes we just stay up in his room while he plays with my hair and plants kisses on my head and cheeks. We simply just be, like we are now. I have never had a boyfriend before. So let me tell you, Edward is doing a pretty amazing job if he's making me feel all the things that I feel for him.

We stop making out. I slide down into his side and cuddle up next to him. I take a glance at the clock and see that it's now 2:30 PM. I sigh and close my eyes.

"I need to get home."

"No you don't," he says tightening his hold on me. I giggle lightly before taking his hand in mine.

"Yes, I do," I reply quietly.

"I know," he says through a sigh. He looks down, catching me gazing up at him. He smiles at me before leaning down and kissing me softly on the lips. I close my eyes and smile against his lips. He pulls away and gets off the couch, dragging me off with him. He walks me out to my truck, opening the door for me. Edward smacks me on my ass when I turn around to climb into my truck causing me to turn around sharply and smack him on the arm.

"Are you done?" I scold him.

"Don't act like you don't like it," he says. Eyes filled with amusement and something else I can't describe. I roll my eyes at him, causing him to smirk at me. I walk towards him and stand on my tip toes to peck him lightly on the lips before leaning around and grabbing him on the ass. He jumps and begins to laugh.

"How do you like that?" I ask him before walking away and climbing into my truck.

"You're such a tease," he jokes.

"You bring it out in me, babe." He laughs before shaking his head and running his hand through his hair.

"Okay, I seriously have to go now," I tell him. He smirks at me.

"Bye, gorgeous." I smile at him before he walks up to the front door. I wave to him as I begin to drive away.

* * *

When I got home I cooked dinner, leaving a note for Charlie telling him there's a plate in the fridge for him. I eat dinner and do some homework before having a shower. My thoughts are running a hundred miles an hour about my conversations with Edward and Alice today. It felt good to talk to somebody and telling them how I've been feeling.

Alice is the most amazing friend I've ever had. Talking about my mom was hard, but it helped a little bit. Thinking about my mom has made me remember the letter I found that she wrote to Charlie. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since I got home.

I walk over to my desk and rummage through my draws until I find it. I sit down at my desk and read it about ten times. I still can't believe she wrote to Charlie and hasn't bothered to even write to me. I notice the return address on it.

A million emotions travel through me at that moment. Fear, hope, excitement. I decide to write a reply. But what am i even meant to say in it? And what do i really know? The address could have changed; she may not even live at this address anymore. Determined to hear from her to get some answers that I deserve, I write the letter anyway.

_Hello, I'm writing this letter to Renee Swan.  
I don't know if this is still her address because the letter she wrote to my father has been under his bed for over a year.  
This is her daughter, Bella.  
I just wanted to write to her, and see if she's even still alive.  
So if this is still your address, Mom. Please reply.  
Our address is still the same. We haven't moved._

_Bella, _

I read over the letter a few times before I find an envelope and place it inside, writing the address on the front. I feel the tears in my eyes and wipe at my eyes before they can begin to fall. I go to the bathroom and wash my face before going back into my room and crawling into bed.

I fall asleep with my thoughts filled of my mother.

* * *

**Hey, everyone. Sorry it's a day late. Both my Beta (jenndur) and i have been super busy this week. Yesterday I was volunteering at the after school program called OOSH from 2:30pm - 6:00pm then had Soccer training from 6:30pm - 8:30pm. I was exhausted by the time i got home. And today i am so bloody sore from training! But it's worth it, bring on the fitness!**

**So anyway, a bit more intimate interaction between Bella and Edward. And Bella can't get the letter from her mother out of head and decides to write a reply to her. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, reviews make me extremely happy! xx**

**natalee-x**

_Also, i have updated chapter 13 'Party' and posted the links of the outfits Bella, Alice and Rosalie's wore to Jazz and Rose's party, so you can go check that out if you want :)_


	18. Routines, Fights & Love

_**Chapter Eighteen**__ – (routines, fights & love)_

* * *

_**EPOV**_

A yawn escapes me as I blink a few times before glancing at my radio clock. 6.30AM. Argh, half an hour before my alarm is even due to go off. I roll onto my back and rest my arm across my face. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as my mind races a million miles an hour.

Bella and I have become a lot closer and intimate with each other lately. When we make out, my hormones go wild and I can't help but run my hands all over her amazing body. I keep it PG rated though, because I don't want to force her into anything. To be honest, if I don't control myself I'll end up with a huge hard on, and that would be beyond awkward. And let me tell you, I've already had to rub one off in the shower because of my mind running on its own course.

Speaking of which, I think it's time for a shower now.

* * *

I spot Bella standing with Alice and Rose as I pull into the school parking lot. Rosalie says something to her and she looks up in my direction, smiling as she sees me driving towards them and parking next to her Truck. I don't take my eyes off Bella's as I make my way to her and press my lips to her mouth. She smiles against my lips and wraps her arms around my neck, running her hands down my back and hugging me tightly before pulling away.

"Hey," I greet her.

"Hi. How was the rest of your weekend?" she asks.

"Boring without you,"

"Same." She replies.

The sound of a loud motorcycle interrupts our conversation and some tan skinned kid with black, short cropped hair parks in the principals' parking spot. A blonde girl climbs off the back of the bike and wraps her arms around his neck. They begin to make out. Once they're done, the blonde girl turns around. My jaw physically drops at who the blonde is - I should've known it was Lauren. She looks over at us and the boy follows her gaze. His eyes widen before a smirk forms on his lips. Bella entwines her hand with mine and the boy's smirk falls. Lauren rolls her eyes and shakes her head before walking away. I look down at Bella and see that she is looking directly at the boy with an annoyed expression on her face. I look back to the boy just as he begins to wave in our general direction. I narrow my eyes at him before turning back to Bella.

"Who's that?" I ask.

"Some guy I met at La Push beach."

"Are youse friends?"

"No." she says in a disgusted tone "I saw him hassling one of the boys in our year. He spotted me and then introduced himself –"

"What's his name?" I cut her off.

"Jacob. I could tell he's younger than me yet he persisted on hitting on me,"

"Oh, really?" I ask before looking over at him and raising my brow at him. He rolls his eyes before walking over to us.

"We meet again," he says to Bella.

"I'm sorry?" she asks, feigning confusion.

"Jacob. Remember? We met at La Push Beach."

"No, sorry." She says innocently. He quirks his brow at her before running his hand over his face.

"C'mon you can't forget me." he says in an annoyingly confidence voice. This kid is going to really piss me off; I can feel it in my bones.

"Oh, now I remember," she says. "You're that annoyingly persistent kid who couldn't take a hint to leave." She explained. A smile on her face.

"Oooh, burn." Rosalie says with Alice giggling beside her.

"And you are?" he asks Rose.

"Someone way too good for you to even be talking too," she replies with a cunning smile on her lips.

"Run along now," Alice adds.

"Right." He says before looking back at Bella. "Great friends you have. Think they're a bit too stuck up for you though," he says sarcastically.

"Hey! Rude much?" Alice exclaims.

"That's my sisters you're talking about." I tell him in a cold voice.

"And?"

"And I'll kick your face in if you talk about them like that again." I say, stepping closer to him.

"Yeah?" he taunts me. Bella steps in between us.

"I'd appreciate it if you left my _boyfriend _alone._" _She says. Hands on her hips, eyes narrowed at Jacob.

He looks me up and down before looking back to her.

"Whatever," he mumbles before turning on his heel and walking back to his bike. He looks back at us.

"Do you think he'd mind a little show?" I ask Bella.

She looks up at me. Her eyes confused.

"What?" she asks before I cup her face in my hands.

She glances at Jacob then back to me, finally understanding what I mean. She smiles at me before closing the distance between us, wrapping her arms around my neck and placing her lips to mine in a passionate embrace. The next thing I hear is him speeding off on his bike. We don't usually make out like this in public, but this Jacob kid really irks me to no end. We pull away, catching our breath. I don't even notice Jasper and Emmett until they say something.

"What was all that about?" Jasper asks.

"Just some idiot kid," I reply.

"Seemed pretty intense, bro," Emmett says.

"It's nothing," Bella says.

"Yeah, well. Why the hell did you two start sucking face like it's the last thing you'll ever do?" Emmett asks through a laugh.

"Well it's certainly one way to get rid of someone," Rose chimes in.

"I'll say." Alice says through a laugh.

The bell rings for first class. I kiss Bella on the cheek before walking to gym with Jasper.

* * *

I'd have to say that Gym is, without a doubt, my most favorite class at Forks High. It lets me release all of the frustrations with my life. And it basically stops me from beating idiots to a pulp when they piss me off. Actually, sometimes not even Gym can stop that from happening, especially when an incident happens in the class. Like today. I swear to god, Tyler Crowley and Mike Newton are the biggest dickheads in this town. They don't seem to understand the concept of privacy and minding their own business and knowing when to shut their fucking mouths before I shut it for them.

Jasper and I were on the same team today when we were playing basketball. Everything was going fine until the end of the game when Mike opened his fucking mouth.

"So, have you fucked her yet?" he asks.

"Excuse me?"

"Bella. Have you fucked her?" he looks at me expectantly, not even thinking for a second that he's being out of line.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"What?"

"That's none of your fucking business!"

"I'd take that as a no." Tyler taunts.

"What the fuck has this conversation got to do with you?" I yell.

"Just calling it as it is, man. She's a freak. Hasn't associated with anyone until you lot came to town."

"And did you hear about her snapping at Lauren? She's fucking crazy," Mike adds.

"You don't know shit about her. Lauren is a fucking bitch, she got what she deserved." I say through clenched teeth.

"Whatever, she'll probably dump your ass soon anyway; you're just fresh meat,"

"Jealous, are you?" Jasper asks.

"Of him? As if," Mike says through a laugh.

"What-the-fuck-ever, asshole."

I go to walk away, but no. They have to keep going.

"What's the matter, Cullen? Is she that much of a freak that she's frigid?"

I turn on my heel and head towards him. Jasper holds me back as I bellow at him.

"You better watch your fucking mouth or you will seriously regret it!"

"Don't take it out on me just because your girl isn't putting out," Mike says.

"I'm going to beat your ass to a fucking pulp!" I yell as I continue to struggle in his arms, trying to get my hands on those stupid motherfuckers.

"Look at him go, he's as crazy as she is," Tyler taunts.

"I swear to fucking god, you're gonna regret this shit. Let me go, Jazz!"

"Calm down, Ed. They aren't worth it,"

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Jazz lets me go but stays close to me.

"Not that it's any of your fucking business, but no, I haven't _fucked_ her yet. She means more to me than a fucking root, you pathetic prick,"

"Woaaaah, someone's whipped like a bitch," says Tyler.

"Speak of the devil, here she is now. How long you been standing there, sweetheart?" Mike asks.

I turn around to see Bella standing in the doorway with tears in her eyes.

"Long enough," she whispers before turning around and walking away.

"Bella!" I call before running after her. "Bella!" I call to her again. She stops walking and turns around to face me. I hope to fucking god she didn't hear all of their bullshit.

"How much did you hear?" I ask as I take her face in my hands. She closes her eyes and takes a breath before answering.

"From the part when Tyler called me a freak."

"Fuck!" I cuss. She opens her eyes and looks me straight in the eyes. "Babe, they're fucking idiots, don't even worry about what they said,"

"How can I? The whole school thinks I'm a psychotic freak!" She yells. Fresh tears begin to fall down her face as she begins to have trouble breathing.

"It's alright, baby," I whisper as I wrap her in my arms. "Breathe,"

"I can't,"

"You can. It's okay,"

"Look at me. I _am_ a freak," she says through a sob. I step away from her and take her face in my hands again. I keep my eyes on hers.

"You are not a freak. You have gone through shit no one knows about. Isolating yourself was how you dealt with the pain. What they say doesn't matter because you're fucking amazing. You're amazing and you mean so much to me and I don't want to see you like this,"

I place my lips to hers and kiss her as passionately as I can. She breathes a sigh of relief.

* * *

During lunch on Tuesday, everyone was staring at us – which irked me to no end. Tyler and Mike kept whispering with the others at his table, including Lauren, no doubt telling them what went down during gym yesterday. Lauren and her snotty little sidekick Jessica were constantly snickering and giggling as they looked at us, but as soon as Rosalie would give them her infamous death stare, they would stop and turn around. Emmett had to hold Rosalie back a few times to stop her from going over there and kicking their superficial heads in.

"I need to start going to the gym again to let some steam off because those _bitches_ are doing my fucking _head_ in!_"_ Rosalie says, her voice raising an octave on the last sentence.

"It's alright, Rose. Really," Bella says quietly.

"No it isn't, Bella. I don't know how many beatings it will take to get through to those girls but I'm quite happy to oblige,"

"Have you thought of anger management?" Jasper asks playfully.

"Fuck you, Jazz. I don't need anger management."

"I think you do, I'm never as angry as you, and we're twins,"

"Maybe the anger skipped you and Rose ended up with it all," Alice says.

"If you ask me, you need a bit of anger Jazz; you're such a mellow motherfucker," I joke.

"You say that now, but you'll come crawling to me one day asking for my help,"

"Pigs ass, I will." I scoff.

I look down at Bella to see that she's smiling softly to herself as she watches everyone banter and pick on Jasper and Rosalie. I play with her hair and plant a kiss on her forehead, causing her to tilt her head back and look up at me. I smile at her, getting a genuine smile back as the blush rushes into her cheeks. I pull her chair closer to me; wrapping my arm around her as she leans into my chest.

The bell rings, signaling the time for third hour biology. I entwine my hand with Bella's as we walk to class.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, I guess,"

"You're not worried about what everyone was saying, are you? They're being idiots,"

"No, I'm fine."

I open the classroom door, letting her walk in before me. I stay close to her as we walk to our table which is directly in front of Mike and Tyler's table. As Bella goes to sit down, Mike makes a hand movement circling his finger next to his temple, indicating that Bella is crazy. I walk to our table faster with a death glare on my face which seems to make them back off. I pull her stool closer to mine before she sits down, I wrap my arm around her lower back, and she leans on my shoulder and puts her head down. I see a tear drop fall onto our bench.

"Don't cry, baby, they aren't worth it," I tell her quietly.

"I know," she replies in a whisper, "I can't help it," she adds.

"Okay everyone, today we're completing a Video Notes/Handout that accompanies 'Mapping Stem Cell Research: Terra Incognita' The Handout is due in your Cells Process Packet." Mr. Banner announces.

The rest of the class groans as Mr. Banner makes his way around the room, giving us our handouts. Once he reaches Bella and I, he takes in our position.

"Is everything okay, Miss Swan? Are you ill?" he asks her concerned.

"No, I'm okay sir. Thanks,"

"She's actually having trouble with some students, sir." I add.

"Edward." She scolds me.

"No, no, Bella. If you're having trouble with students you should tell someone, what's the matter?"

"Everyone is making fun of her, saying she's crazy because of what happened between her and Lauren,"

"Oh, yes I heard about that, blown a bit out of proportion I think. Who's doing the taunting, may I ask?"

"Um, Mike Newton and um, I don't know the other boys name," she replies quietly,

"Tyler Crowley."

"What about me?" Tyler asks.

"Talking about you, not to you moron," I reply annoyed.

"Now, now, Edward, no need for that. Mind your own business please, Mr. Crowley."

"My name was mentioned, that makes it my business, Sir."

"Sit. Down." Mr. Banner scolds him before turning back to us.

"I can see how he and Mike can be a bit of trouble; I'll keep an eye on them,"

"Thanks, Sir."

"It's no problem, Edward – Bella?" she looks up at him. "If they give you any more trouble out of class, come find me okay? I'll handle them for you,"

"Thank you, Sir." He smiles at us before walking away and turning on the video for our handout.

* * *

English on Wednesday felt like it was never going to end. It felt like the longest hour of my life. Mr. Berty kept on ranting about our assessments and how most of the class did really poorly and that they need to start asking for help if they're struggling. Jasper and I, of course, did perfectly fine with the assessment and got an A because we already did this assessment at our old school before we moved to Forks, so we were pretty much not paying attention and talking throughout the whole lesson.

"So Bella's coming over for thanksgiving, yeah?"

"Yeah," I reply, a smile automatically forming on my lips.

"Man, you are so whipped," he teases.

"So? I remember quite profoundly that you were whipped when you and Alice first got together. You still are,"

"True," he admits through a laugh. His eyebrows Knit together, which usually happens when he's either thinking really hard about something or trying to figure out a way to ask me something.

"Spit it out, Jazz."

"Are you in love with her?" he asks. My eyes go wide.

"Fucking hell, can you be anymore straight forward?"

"It's a simple question, Edward," he looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to answer.

"Right, well, I don't know? How do you even know when you're in love with someone? How did you know you were in love with Alice?" I ask him.

"When I realized everything I did revolved around her and I didn't see anyone but her."

I quirk my brow at him, needing more help than that. He rolls his eyes before sighing and leaning back into his seat.

"How do you feel when you're around her?" he asks.

"Uh, well, every time she smiles it makes me smile, every time she laughs it makes me happy, every time I kiss her the whole world disappears, every time I see her upset I just want to hold her and make it all go away, I feel very protective of her, and every time she walks into the room my mood automatically lifts and I, um, yeah. I'm in love with her."

Jasper looks at me with a smile on his lips and nods his head. I roll my eyes at him before running my hand down my face and taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Are you going to tell her?"

"What? I don't even know if she feels the same!"

"So?" he says through a laugh. "Don't be such a pussy, Ed. Just tell her,"

"But what if she freaks out?" I ask nervously.

"Dude, she's a chick she'll turn in to putty,"

"She's not like that, Jazz, and you know it,"

"True," he says, pursing his lips. "Just tell her anyway, man. What have you got to lose?" he adds.

"Oh, um, I don't know? _Her _maybe?" I question him.

"Whatever. You're an idiot – just think about it for a few weeks and then tell her. Why don't you tell her at thanksgiving or something? That's in a few weeks,"

"Really? You seriously think I should tell her?"

"Fucking hell, Ed. How long have you been with her?" he asks.

"Uhh, about five weeks I think? You're sure it's not too early? " I ask him, uncertain.

"Right, so over a month, that's plenty of time, man. I told Ali I loved her after three weeks of dating her. Just man up and do it." He says straightforwardly.

"Okay. So on Thanksgiving. That gives me what? Two weeks to man up and do it,"

"Yep," he replies casually. Fucking prick.

* * *

Alice and Bella meet Emmett and I outside of our Trig classroom.

"God, I fucking hate Trig so much," Emmett complains.

"Tell me about it. When am I ever going to need to know about the study of triangles? Seriously? And Jessica being in my class doesn't help things,"

"Is she still giving you shit? I can get Rose onto her if you want?" Emmett asks seriously, causing Bella to laugh.

"No, it's alright. But thanks, Em." She smiles as he wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into a tight hug.

"Owe. Em, I think you're squishing my bones," she says through a chuckle.

"Oops, sorry," he apologizes as he releases her.

"Are you sure you aren't on steroids?" I ask him playfully, he punches me in the arm.

"I'm not on steroids!" he says frustrated.

"Calm down, I'm only kidding, it's not my fault you're a fucking tank," I tease him.

"Whatever, man." He says before walking away, grabbing Alice and making her walk with him.

When we all reach their English room, Emmett is the typical dickhead he is and escorts them to their seats while I wait in the doorway. When he looks at Lauren and Jessica, he has a deadly serious expression on his face; they slide further down into their seats which causes me to laugh quite loudly. Lauren glares at me so I flip her off, her jaw literally drops. I feel Bella's eyes on me so I look over at her to see her brow quirked and she shakes her head with an expression on her face that clearly says 'we'll talk about that later' I give her my famous smirk, she rolls her eyes as a blush rushes into her cheeks. She smiles at me softly before I close the door.

Yep, I'm definitely in love with her.

* * *

Coach Clapp screwed up his time table on Friday so the girls and boys had to have a combined gym lesson. The only good thing about that is that I got to see Bella, but the worst thing is that she would probably have to listen to Mike and Tyler's fucking bullshit all lesson, and considering he's a part of the Lauren and Jessica posy just made everything ten times worse.

Coach made us guys run up and down the gym about Six times for a warm up, not including the way back to the start line so it was technically Twelve times. He's fucking crazy if he thinks that's only a warm up.

He made the girls run up the bleacher steps four times, while one of them was running up it one of them was running down it. That's when shit hit the fan.

Bella was running down the stairs whilst Lauren had to run up them, I don't know how the fuck that happened considering Coach Clapp knows they hate each other, no doubt Jessica had something to do with it. Anyway, Lauren, being the annoying bitch she is, stopped on the steps to 'catch her breath' and tripped Bella over. It all happened in slow motion; I watch her fall down, rolling down at least four steps until she grips the steps to stop herself from going further.

"What is wrong with you? Are you _trying_ to kill her?" I hear Alice scream as I make my way to them.

"Bella!" I call out as I push through the crowd. I run up the stairs and crouch on the opposite side of Alice.

"Are you okay?" I ask as I take her face in my hands.

"I'm so sorry, Bella my leg just slipped," says Lauren, feigning innocence.

"I'm sure it fucking did." I scold her before standing up and getting in her face. "You and your stupid fucking posy call her crazy but you're the one who's crazy! She'd never try doing that shit to you –"

"She already fucking did, Edward. Or do you not remember that? She ran at me and tried to attack me!" she screams cutting me off.

"Because you were harassing her and saying horrible things to her!" Alice yells as she stands up.

"Uh, can you guys please stop yelling?" Bella says through a groan.

"Yeah, calm down baby." Jasper tells Alice as he places his hands on her shoulders. Alice crouches down next to Bella, and begins to help her up.

"Are you okay?" she asks her, concern clear in her voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay. My hip hurts though, and my head." She replies before placing her hand on her head. She begins to walk but stops abruptly. "Owe, okay, yeah my leg hurts too." She says through clenched teeth.

"Fucking hell, you're such a bitch Lauren!" I yell at her. I feel Bella's hand on my arm and automatically relax.

"Edward. Calm down I don't want you getting into trouble," she says quietly before walking in front of me and wrapping her arms around my waist and kisses my chest. I smile down at her as she looks up at me. I place a kiss on her forehead before bending down and picking her up.

"What are you doing?" she squeals.

"I'm carrying you to the nurse's office, obviously," I tell her through a chuckle.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking there myself,"

"Clearly, you're not. Considering you _just_ tried to walk and your leg hurt." I finalize.

"Fine." She mumbles before wrapping her arms around my neck. I glance at Lauren before walking the rest of the way down the stairs; she has the most pissed off look on her face and is completely seething. Jasper and Alice follow behind us.

Once we get into the hallway Bella begins to fidget.

"Can I please walk the rest of the way now?" she asks, annoyance creeping into her voice.

"No. What if your leg is seriously hurt?" I ask her seriously. She rolls her eyes and begins to struggle in my arms.

"Edward, seriously, I'm fine!" she complains before adding, "Look. I'll put all of my weight on you when i walk, okay?"

"Just let her down, man." Jasper says through a chuckle.

"Fine." I sulk before letting her down and stepping away.

"Hey!" she whines at me. I smirk at her and quirk my brow at her.

"What?"I ask.

"Why are you moving away from me? I _just_ said, i was going to put all my weight on you when i walk." she replies in an annoyed tone.

I roll my eyes at her before stepping a little bit closer to her. She grabs my arm and pulls me closer to her, wrapping her right arm around my back and entwining her left hand with my right. I laugh quietly to myself as i place my arm around her back, supporting her as she puts all of her weight onto me when we begin to walk. I glance behind us at Jasper and Alice. Jasper has a knowing smug smirk on his face and Alice is beaming.

* * *

When we get to the Nurse's office she dabs an antiseptic on Bella's wounds and bandages them. She tells her she's lucky she didn't get a concussion, but to take some pain killers for the headache when she gets home.

"So she's okay then?" Alice asks anxiously.

"Seriously, Alice. You always freak out over nothing," Bella says through a laugh.

"But you practically almost died! You heard Nurse Cooper, she said you were lucky you didn't have a concussion!" she says exasperatedly.

"Calm down, babe. She's fine," Jasper soothes her. She leans into his chest and breathes a sigh of relief.

Nurse Cooper gives all of a slip of parchment that excuses us from the rest of our classes for the day.

"Are you alright to drive home, babe?" I ask Bella.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." She says, smiling up at me. I smile back and entwine her hand with mine and walk out to the parking lot. Jasper and Alice hug her goodbye before driving home.

I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ears before cupping her cheek with my hand – she leans into the touch and closes her eyes. I take that opportunity to lean down and kiss her softly on the lips – she kisses me back and runs her hands up my arms, around to the back of my neck.

When we break apart, it takes all of my strength to hold back those three words I so desperately want to say to her.

* * *

Once I get home I text Bella.

_**Hey, baby.  
Just checking in to make sure you got home okay,  
- E**_

She replies almost straight away.

_**You're sweet. But I'm fine, babe.  
You're worrying about nothing,  
xx  
- B**_

I laugh escapes my lips at her reply. I shake my head as I write my reply.

_**You could have passed out and crashed or something,  
so I'm not worrying about nothing, thank you very much :P  
Have a good night, gorgeous. Stay safe x  
- E**_

She underestimates such serious things sometimes, I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her now that I know that I'm in love with her. She means more than my own life now.

I'm hanging out with Jazz and Em when I hear my message tone go off again.

_**Sorry, I was in the shower.  
You're such a worry wart, but it's cute.  
Thank you for being so amazing.  
xx  
- B**_

A smile automatically forms on my lips. Maybe Jazz is right? Maybe she is in love with me too?

"You are so gone, man," Emmett says through a chuckle, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked confused.

"He's talking about you being whipped," Jasper explains.

"Oh. Whatever,"

"What, so you aren't in love with her anymore?" he teases.

"Jazz!" I scold him

"What? You're in love with her?" Emmett asks shocked. "Wow, good for you bro," he adds.

"Who's in love with who?" Rosalie asks, walking into the lounge room.

"No one," I answer immediately, I don't need Bella finding out off her or Alice.

"That's a lie," says Emmett with an evil smirk on his face.

"Emmett." I say pointedly.

"What? I'm in love with Rose…" he replies innocently. Fucking prick.

"Aw, well aren't you sweet." Rosalie says in mockingly sweet voice. "What do you want?" she asks suspiciously.

I look over at Emmett to see shock on his face. He looks at me and I give him an expression that says 'suck shit asshole'. He narrows his eyes at me before rolling his eyes and looking back at Rose.

"Nothing, I was just saying…"

"Oh." She says shocked. "I love you too," she adds quietly before walking over to him and sitting in his lap, pressing her lips to his.

Alice ends up joining us after she finally gets off the damn phone to Bella. She goes on and on about how she's going over to Bella's the day before thanksgiving. I thought that Rose would be pretty pissed off about not being invited over as well, but she seems fine enough. When Alice leaves to help Esme with dinner, I ask her about it.

"Are you not pissed you aren't invited?" I ask her.

"No. Why would I be?" she asks.

"Because you're Bella's friend too…"

"So? Bella and I are hanging out this weekend. Just because I don't blab about it to everyone like Alice does, doesn't mean Bella and I never hang out by ourselves too,"

"Alright then, calm down," I say through a chuckle.

"Nosy motherfucker," she mumbles under her breath as she snuggles in closer to Emmett.

We hang out and watch movies and talk for a few hours before Alice comes out to tell us dinner is ready. Carlisle had to work late so he wasn't home. When we finish dinner, we head into the lounge room and hang out some more before I eventually retire and go have a shower. I text Bella goodnight and get one in return before I collapse onto my bed.

My dreams are filled with me telling Bella I love her.

* * *

**Hey guys, sorry this chapter is so late. I've been really busy and so has my Beta. So i give a huge thank you to my emergency Beta My-Heart-Of-Music for Beta'ing this chapter for me on such short notice. I love you, baby! So this chapter is basically about the gang getting into a routine and having some more fights, Edward being protective for Bella, and Edward coming to terms with his feelings for her etc, etc. Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews make me fluffy inside ^_^ Thank you all so much for reading xx **

**- Natalee-x**


	19. Scared inside

**A/N:** _Below are the links to the clothes Bella and Alice are wearing in the chapter. Copy & Paste the link into a new tab, don't forget to remove the spaces._

**Bella day clothes:** http : / i55 . tinypic . com / 2lj23bb . jpg  
**Bella Pajamas:** http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 2lk87zs . jpg  
**Alice Pajamas:** http : / i52 . tinypic . com / nc05jd . jpg

* * *

_**Chapter Nineteen**__ – (Scared inside)_

* * *

_**BPOV**_

It's been nearly two weeks since the incident with Tyler and Mike happened, along with Lauren tripping me down the bleachers in gym.

Rosalie came over the weekend that happened and hung out with me. She isn't like Alice; she leaves my personal life alone and doesn't bring up awkward conversations. I'm not saying I don't love Alice, I mean – it _is _good that she pushes me to talk about things sometimes, but Rose is just completely different. She'd rather talk about _her_ life, which I don't mind at all. Some people might find that stuck up and conceited, but I think she just likes to have someone to talk to that's not in her family. She talks about her past sometimes, and I just listen to her and let her talk. She's cried a few times in front of me too, but then she said if I told anyone that she would deny it. And, I don't blame her - she is new in town and doesn't have many friends, after all. Although, she has become pretty good friends with Angela Webber. Lauren was being her typical bitch self and being horrible and rude to Angela, causing Rose to have a go at her. Let's just say that Lauren didn't annoy Angela again, so Rose and Angela became close friends after that.

Everything has been great between Me and Edward, too.

When the incident with Lauren happened, he was so sweet and caring towards me, I haven't had anyone treat me like that in a long time. He insisted on carrying me to the Nurses office, but I didn't want him too. Edward, being the stubborn boy he is, wouldn't put me down until I bargained with him and promised to put all of my weight on him while I walked the rest of the way. And when I got home he sent me a text message, making sure that I got home okay.

He's so considerate.

Every time he looks at me, I get lost in those beautiful green eyes of his. He makes my heart race like a hummingbirds wings every time he touches me. We've become a lot more intimate with each other as well, when we're making out, his hands roam all over my body. I have to admit, at first I was shocked the first time he ran his hands under my shirt, making their way up my torso and under my bra.

* * *

_My whole body freezes as his hands make their way under my bra. His hands freeze too. I bite my bottom lip as he looks me in the eyes._

"_Sorry, baby. Is this too much?" he asks nervously._

_The emotion in his eyes makes me visibly relax; I breathe a sigh of relief and shake my head._

"_No. I was just shocked, you're my first boyfriend Edward, I'll always be shocked during all the things we do," I whisper._

_I lean down and press my lips to his. I feel his mouth turn up into a smile as he continues to kiss me back. I run my hands up his back he lifts his arms, silently telling me to take his shirt off. I oblige. I run my hands down his bare chest, a blush creeping into my cheeks I sit up and wrap my arms around his neck as I straddle him. I begin to pull at the hem of my shirt, trying to take it off – Edward realizes what I'm trying to do and helps me take it off. I bite my bottom lip as his eyes travel over my body. He reaches up and softly places his fingers on my mouth, releasing my bottom lip._

"_You're so beautiful," he murmurs quietly. My blush becomes deeper before he takes my face in his hands and connects our mouths back together._

_My hands find their way back into his hair. He moans against my lips as I pull on his hair. His hands travel up and down my back before making their way up my sides and across my ribs and under my bra again. He cups my breasts and as he squeezes them lightly, a feeling of pleasure shoots down to my center which makes me gasp in surprise. I pull away from him as I arch my chest closer to him. He places his lips against my neck and begins to kiss and suck along my collar bone, occasionally licking my skin. I tilt my head back to give him easier access. I look back into his eyes as he continues to massage my breasts._

"_Take it off," I whisper._

"_Are you sure?" he asks, his voice thick with arousal._

"_Yes. Just get it off," I reply pleadingly._

_He removes his hands from my breasts and wraps his arms around me. In one swift movement he undoes my bra and I shrug out of it enthusiastically. I smash my lips against his before he lifts me and lays me down on his bed. He hovers over me as he plants kisses along my neck, making his way down to my stomach. When he makes his way back up my stomach, he looks into my eyes with a silent question. A soft smile forms on my lips and that's all he needs to take one of my breasts into his mouth as he massages the other with his left hand. My hands make their way into his hair again. A moan of pleasure escapes my lips as my back automatically arches into his touch. He pinches my nipple, making Goosebumps pop up all over my body as a shot of pleasure shoots down to my center again. He pulls away and connects his mouth to mine; muffling the sound of my moans with his lips. I lick his bottom lip and he opens for me. I dart my tongue into his mouth, this time he moans from the contact. I wrap my arms around his back, pulling his body closer to mine. His hands travel down my ribs and to my thighs, where he hitches one up over his hip._ _He breaks off the kiss, moving to my neck travelling up to my ear._

"_Do you want to go further, baby?" he asks in whisper._

_My breathing has become so heavy that the only reply I can give him is an enthusiastic nod of my head._

_He grabs my hips and lifts me so I'm in a semi sitting position. I grab a pillow and put it behind my head. He kisses my lips before travelling back down my neck, breasts and torso. His hands travel back down to my thighs, tracing circles on them before running his hands under them, lifting them so they're both beside his hips. I keep my eyes on his as he runs his palm over my center. My hips automatically curve up into his touch, wanting more; he places his fingers under my underwear. My breath catches in my throat_ _as he slides two fingers inside me. _

"_God, you're so wet." He whispers. I blush at his words. Edward talking dirty is so hot. I pull his face to me, __connecting his lips to mine._

_I arch my back as he runs his thumb across my clit. A guttural moan escapes my lips, causing his lips turn up into a smirk. I blush deeper, filled with embarrassment. I shift my hips as the pleasure begins to overcome me._

_He keeps things slow and comfortable.__W__orking his fingers in and out of me as his thumb continues to make its way across my sensitive area. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me as I lift my hips into his touch, making his fingers go deeper. My breathing begins to become heavier. I can feel his length getting harder through his pants. I begin to unbutton them._

"_What are you doing?" he asks breathlessly._

"_I want to touch you too," I reply in a whisper. He buries his head into the crook of my neck, muffling the sound of his moan._

_I wince as he pulls his fingers out of me, instantly missing the contact._

"_Shit. Sorry, baby." he says before lying on his back, and pulling his pants off frantically. _

_He sits back up, making his way back to me. I pull his face to mine and kiss him with as much passion as I can. I lay back down onto the pillows. He runs his hands down my body, hooking his fingers under the hem of my underwear and pulls them off slowly. I lift my hips to make it easier for him. I place my hands on__ his_ _chest, running them down his torso before pulling his underwear off as well. I glance down, and blush as I take him in._

_His lips find their way back to mine before he slides his fingers back inside of me. I tilt my head back before wrapping my hand around him, running it up and down his length. He hisses in my ear, his hips arching towards me, __trying to get more friction. I hold him tighter and pick up my pace. I continue the stride down his length, matching my rhythm to his as his fingers make their way in and out of me. I run my thumb over his head, causing a groan to escape his lips before he begins to kiss his way across my collar bone and back up to my lips._

_The pleasure begins to build up inside of me; I can feel that I'm close to the edge. Our breathing becomes heavier I feel his whole body tense as he spills out onto my stomach. _

"_Fuck," he cusses under his breath. "Sorry, baby," he mumbles._

"_It's okay," I say breathlessly._

"_Don't worry, I'll make you come if it's the last thing I do," he says through a purr, making my whole body shiver in pleasure. He continues to work his fingers inside of me. He runs his thumb across my clit again as he massages that certain spot of pleasure inside of me. _

"_Edward," I moan out his name as my body convulses as I cum. Edward continues to massage me as I ride out my orgasm. He pulls his fingers out of me and leans over to his bedside table and grabs some tissues, wiping his fingers clean. This makes me blush. He smirks at me before lying beside me on his bed. I sigh happily as he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him so my back is flush against his chest. He places a kiss to my cheek before pulling the covers up over us, nuzzling his face into the back of my neck._

* * *

I can feel the blush on my cheeks as the sound of my ringtone pulls me out of my reverie. I climb out of bed and almost fall over my clothes on the ground as I run over to my desk. It's Alice.

"Hey," I answer breathlessly.

"_Hey, why are you breathing so heavily?"_ she asks confused.

"I fell over when I was running to get to my phone,"

"_Of course you did," _she says through a laugh.

"Mmm, so what's up?"

"_Just ringing to see when you want me to come over,"_

"Oh, okay. Well, whenever you want. I have to have a shower though," I tell her. I take a glance at my clock and see that it's 11:30AM. I slept in again.

"Maybe half an hour?" I add in a questioning tone.

"_Okay, cool. It feels like we haven't hung out in _forever._"_

"Tell me about it,"

"_Alright, well I'll see you soon, Bella!" _she says excitedly before hanging up.

"Bye," I say to an empty phone line.

I grab my towel and head into the bathroom. I strip off my clothes and put them in the washing basket before getting into the shower. I massage the shampoo and then the conditioner into my hair. I close my eyes as I tilt my head back, letting the water rinse out my hair. I grab my purple loofah and squirt my strawberry body wash onto it before washing my body. Once I'm squeaky clean I get out of the shower and head back into my room. I raid my closet, trying to find something to wear. I settle for my dark blue jean shorts and white oversized T with _Je t'aime_ written on it.

I go downstairs and put on a load of washing. While I wait for that to finish I make some toast then head into the lounge room and turn on the TV. I skip through the channels, trying to find something to watch. I groan in annoyance at nothing being on. TV sucks on the weekends.

The door bell rings, no doubt that it's Alice. I jump up off the couch and run to the door, opening it eagerly. She has a huge grin on her face. She closes the distance between us quickly and wraps her arms around my neck, engulfing me in a tight hug. I wrap my arms around her and hug her bag.

"We _have_ to hang out more often, I'm having Bella withdrawals," she greets me.

"Hey, to you too," I say through a chuckle.

She steps out of the embrace I take her hand in mine, leading her into the lounge room. I sit down on the couch, pulling her down with me.

"There is absolutely nothing on TV," I complain to her.

"Oh, well. We don't need it. TV rots your brain cells anyway," she says matter-of-factly.

"Well, what do you want to do?" I ask.

'Talk.' We haven't just hung out and talked in ages,"

"I know," I agree through a sigh.

"So how are things with you and Edward?"

"Fine," I reply. A blush automatically makes its way into my cheeks as I remember my thoughts from earlier.

"Oh my god, give me details right now," she demands excitedly. She crosses her legs and turns her body towards me. I can feel her eyes on me.

"What have youse done?"

"Alice! That's none of your business," I scold her.

"Oh, whatever. I'm your best friend you have to tell me this stuff!"

"But he's your _brother!_"

"Technically he's my cousin, but so what?" she exclaims through a giggle.

"This is so embarrassing," I say, covering my face with my hands.

"What base have you gone to?" she asks. "Please tell me you've gone past first," she adds seriously.

"Third," I mumble.

"Oh my god, you go girl!" she exclaims excitedly, clapping her hands.

"What are you, ten? Jeeze, Alice." I say playfully. She rolls her eyes at me before grinning ear to ear.

"Well, how was it? Did you enjoy it?"

My eyes go wide as shock covers my face.

"Do you even _have _a filter from your brain to your mouth?" I ask incredulously. She looks at me expectantly. I take a deep breath and just pretend that she's anyone but Edward's cousin.

"It was… Um, I don't know? How do you describe something like that?" I ask, embarrassed.

"Well, when Jasper and I first went to third base, he was a god. I have never felt anything so amazing in my life," For the first time, I see Alice blush.

"Well then, yeah, it was amazing," I say quietly.

"Did you come first?" she asks abruptly. "Actually, this _is_ weird talking about this when he's practically my brother." She adds as she screws up her nose, causing me to laugh.

"I told you! This is so embarrassing!" I complain.

"We're already half way through it; you might as well just answer,"

"He did,"

"Really? Damn. So you didn't have an orgasm then?" she asks seriously.

"No, I did. He felt bad and was pretty determined to please me," Alice's lips turn up into a smirk. I put my face in my hands before adding "I cannot believe I'm having this type of conversation with you right now."

To stop the conversation going any further I stand up and head into the laundry to check on the washing. I put the clothes in the dryer and then go back into the kitchen to see Alice sitting at the bench.

"Are you hungry?" I ask.

"Famished," she says through a laugh.

I make us some toasted sandwiches and pour us both a glass of milk.

"So are you excited for thanksgiving tomorrow?" she asks.

I turn away and pretend to turn on the tap so she doesn't see my expression at the mention of thanksgiving.

"Bella, you okay?" she asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say before turning back to her, giving her a reassuring smile. "Just nervous," I add.

"About what?" she asks, confused.

"Uh, spending a big holiday with my boyfriends family," I say quietly.

"You have nothing to worry about, Bella. You've already met mom and dad and they love you. We all love you. Edward especially, I think." She says with a grin on my face. As soon as she sees my expression her grin falls from her face.

"What did you say?" I ask her nervously.

"What?"

"Edward's in love with me?" I ask her.

"I think so,"

"Did he tell you that?"

"Not personally, but I pick up on those kind of things. You're in love with him too, aren't you?" she asks me suspiciously.

'Uh, I don't know. I haven't really thought about it," I say through one breath.

I take her plate and empty glass and walk over to the sink, turning on the tap. I can feel myself begin to freak out. _Do I love him?_ I ask myself. I honestly don't know. I can't afford to fall for someone so deeply. The last time I loved someone, they abandoned me. I can't get hurt like that again. I hope Alice is just curious and Edward isn't actually in love with me. I don't know what I'll do. I care about him so much and I love it when I'm with him. We've only just took the next step in being intimate together. _Could that have been what made him feel like that towards me? _Oh, god. What am I going to do?

"Bella." She addresses me straightforwardly. "Talk to me, are you still scared about your feelings?" she asks quietly.

"Yes," I mumble.

"Don't be." She says confidently. "You have nothing to worry about. Edward cares about you a lot - he'd never do anything to hurt you,"

"Yeah, that's what I thought about my mom," I say under my breath.

"What? What about your mom?" she asks, confused. Shit. I forgot Alice has bat ears.

"Nothing," I say through a sigh. I glance at the clock and see that it's four o'clock in the afternoon.

"Do you wanna stay the night?" I ask her, not at all keeping the hope out of my voice.

"Sure," she says before smiling softly at me. I look into her eyes and see the worry in them.

* * *

Later in the night, Alice and I are sitting on my bed playing Monopoly

"So, what did you mean earlier about your mom?" she asks me. I can feel her eyes on me, waiting for me to answer.

"Nothing, I just found a letter from her a few weeks ago,"

"Oh, really? What did it say?"

"Nothing important," I reply quietly.

"Did you write one back?"

"Yeah,"

"What did you say?"

"Her letter wasn't to me. It was to Charlie, so I basically just said that I found the letter and I just want to know if she's at least still alive."

"Oh. Have you posted it yet?" she asks quietly.

I look up at her. Her expression is filled with pity. Something I do _not_ want.

"No. I don't know if I should," I shrug my shoulders before pulling my legs up to my chest, and wrapping my arms around them.

"You should," she says encouragingly before adding, "You'll regret it if you don't."

When we finish our game of monopoly I pack it away on my bookshelf. Alice goes and has a shower. When she comes back into my room, my lips automatically turn up into a smile as I take in her pajamas.

"I came prepared just in case," she says through a laugh.

She's wearing red Hello Kitty pajamas with white polka dots on them. I laugh quietly to myself before heading to the bathroom. Since I already had a shower today, I only have a quick one. I change into my black and grey flannel shorts and batman singlet and I walk back into my room to see Alice standing in front of my desk with a smile on her face, holding the photograph that Rose took of me and Alice laughing together. She puts it down and faces me. She smiles at me before walking over to my bed and climbing under the sheets. We lay down facing each other.

"I'm really happy we've become this close, Bella." She says quietly.

"Me too. I love that photo of us," I tell her quietly.

"You'd tell me if something was bothering you, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would," I lie.

"You promise?" she asks, doubt clear in her voice. I smile at her lightly before breaking our gaze. She takes my hand in hers, and links our fingers together. "Promise me," she whispers.

"I promise," I reply quietly. I look away from her, discreetly wiping my tears away.

My phone goes off. Alice lets go of my hand so I can roll over and get my phone off my bedside table.

"It's Edward," I say surprised.

"Of course it is," Alice says through a soft laugh.

_**Hey baby,  
how has your day been?  
Hope you and Ali haven't been talking about me too much,  
Been thinking about you all day.  
Miss you, x  
- E**_

A smile forms on my face. I reply instantly.

_**Hey!  
It's been great. And actually, we have been talking about you a fair bit today,  
actually, more about us and our intimacy,  
most embarrassing conversation of my life.  
Did you tell her something?  
Miss you too.  
- B**_

I look back at Alice to see she has her brow quirked at me. "You're terrible," she says, mock disapproval in her voice.

"Whatever. You started it," I say through a chuckle.

My phone beeps with his reply.

_**I didn't tell her anything, she's just annoyingly perceptive.  
Sorry you were embarrassed, but I'm not gonna lie it's totally worth it ;)  
I should let you get your beauty sleep.  
Not that you need beauty sleep because you're beautiful enough already,  
- E**_

He is way too good to me and way too amazing. _What if he is in love with me?_ I ask myself. I smile sadly; I care about him so much. But am I in _love _with him? I hope for both of our sakes I'm not, and that he's not in love with me. Because if that's the case, something bad is going to happen. I just know it.

I feel a tear fall down my cheek. I wipe it away quickly before looking back at Alice. She's fallen asleep facing me. I put my phone back on my bedside table before snuggling under the covers and entwining her hand in mine.

I silently cry myself to sleep from fear of the future.

* * *

**Hey, everyone! I'm so, so, so sorry for the late updates lately! I've been running around going crazy looking for a job and organising my trip to the easter show and getting stuff i'll need for Melbourne, and this week is going to be even more hectic because my 2 year old niece is staying with us for a week so i've pretty much got her during the whole day. Huge thanks to my Beta's MyHeartOfMusic and Jenndur ! Without you this story wouldn't be happening. Thank to all of you who are reviewing and still sticking with me! I love you all so much! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, that was my first ever lemon :| xx**

******Natalee-x**  



	20. Thanksgiving

_**Chapter Twenty**__ – (Thanksgiving)_

_**BPOV**_

I wake up with sore eyes and find Alice staring at me. I glace at my radio clock. It's Eleven AM. I'm surprised that Alice even let me sleep in this long, especially considering its thanksgiving. My heart constricts at that thought. I sigh before looking back to her.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing," she says before getting out of bed. She grabs her clothes and walks out of my room.

I can't help but feel like she's angry with me. I pull my legs up close to my chest, laying my arms across my knees and resting my chin on my arms. I look up at her as she comes back into the room.

"Have I done something wrong?" I ask softly. She looks taken aback for a second before composing herself.

"What makes you think that?"

"Well, you're kind of being blunt with me this morning,"

She runs her hands over her face and lets out a long sigh.

"I'm just concerned about some things," she admits.

"What things?" I ask cautiously.

"Well, about how you really feel about Edward, for one,"

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, offended.

"When I told you I think he's in love with you, you pretty much closed up as if you don't want him to be," she says before looking at me expectantly. I look away from her and bite my bottom lip. Edward's right, she _is _annoyingly perceptive.

"See what I mean?" She asks exasperatedly.

"Alice…"

"Why won't you talk to me?" she asks, hurt creeping into her voice.

"There's nothing to talk _about_. I'm fine," I give her a smile – doing everything I can to reassure her. She looks at me uncertainly, she sighs before finally giving in and giving me a small smile.

x.X.x

Alice didn't talk to me the whole drive to her house. Once we got there, she walked straight into the house and I followed silently behind her. Everyone was relaxing in the lounge room. When Edward's eyes meet mine, his face automatically lights up, which makes me smile back at him softly. He cocks his head to the side and looks at me quizzically, concern clear in his eyes.

"Whoa, who died?" Emmett says, breaking the awkward silence.

"What?" I ask, confused. I look to Alice; she avoids looking me in the eye and shrugs her shoulders.

I look at Emmett and quirk my brow at him.

"Did something happen between you two?" Edward asks attentively.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Alice says before crossing the room and sitting in Jaspers lap. She gives him a genuine smile before planting a light kiss on his lips.

I stand by myself awkwardly. I look over at Alice until she finally looks me in the eye. It takes all my strength to not run out of that room crying. I try and silently let her know that I'm sorry about making her feel the way she does right now. I think she understands what I'm trying to do as she jumps up out of Jaspers lap and walks over to me, pulling me into a hug. She gives me a small smile before going back to Jasper. I can feel everyone's eyes on me but I'm only looking at Edward. I walk towards him and sit across his lap. I wrap my arms around him and tuck my face into the crook of his neck. I feel his lips on my head.

"What was that about?" he asks quietly.

"Nothing important," I say before breathing him in and sighing contently.

"I missed you," he whispers in my ear.

I lean away from him and lock my eyes with his. I lean in and press my lips to his. Kissing him with as much passion I can, trying to let him know how much I missed him too. I smile against his lips as he wraps his arms around my waist and leans down further into the couch. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and cups my cheek with his hand. Emmett clears his throat and Rose and Alice are both laughing. I feel the blush rush into my cheeks. I bury my face in Edward's chest, feeling it vibrate with silent laughter.

We hang out in the lounge room, talking and joking around before Rosalie claims that it's time to get ready.

"I hope you bought plenty of options to wear tonight," she tells me seriously.

"Leave her alone, Rose," Edward scolds. She narrows her eyes at him and flips him the bird before looking back to me. I bite my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing. I quickly pick up my duffel bag before she grabs my hand and drags me out of the room and up the stairs to her room.

x.X.x

Rosalie's room was completely different to Alice's. It had a vibe that had 1930's written all over it. The walls of her bedroom were a dark emerald green that contrasted beautifully with the pearl white furniture. In the right corner of the bedroom, there was a glass-walled hallway that led to Rosalie's bathroom; the windows were decorated with pure white shears and dark emerald green curtains to frame each window. Right before the hallway, there was a large wardrobe nestled in the alcove of a wall and had two body-length mirrors decorating the white doors. Next to the wardrobe sat a beautiful two-drawer dresser that held an array of things on top of it. But everything paled in comparison to the magnificently beautiful bed that vaguely reminded me of something out of _Beauty and the Beast_. It sat centered against the back wall and was decorated with satin sheets that matched the color theme of her room. There was a rug that sat at the foot of her bed that spread out to cover the majority of the floor area in front of the bed.

"Alright, so let's see what you brought," Rosalie says in a series tone. I compose myself before rolling my eyes and shaking my head at her before opening my duffel bag. I pull out my three dress options, laying them on her bed.

"I wanted something nice but still kind of casual," I tell her as I turn back to her. She smiles at me before walking over and looking at the dresses.

"They're all really cute,"

"Thanks. I couldn't choose what one to wear, that's why I asked you to help," I tell her through a sigh. I glance up at her to see that she's pursing her lips, her facial expression filled with concentration as she looks at the dresses. I laugh quietly to myself at her seriousness as to what I'm going to wear. Rose and Alice are insane about fashion sometimes.

She picks up the third option, holding it out in front of her and turning it around in her hands, looking at it in every direction.

"I think this is too light, and something you'd wear to a wedding," she says before folding it carefully and handing it to me. I put it back in the bag.

She picks up the first option and purses her lips again.

"This is cute, but it seems _too _casual. Like something you'd wear out on a date or something." She looks at me through the corner of her eye and smiles at me politely before handing that dress to me as well.

Finally, she picks up the last option, a smile forming on her lips.

"I'm actually glad you picked that," I tell her.

She turns towards me, placing it against my body.

"It makes your skin look amazing, it's got sparkle, and it looks casual but not _too _casual. And plus, its midnight blue, which is Edward's favorite color," she says with a sly smile on her lips.

"Oh my god, is that what you're wearing Bella?" Alice asks as she walks into the room. I look over to her to see that she has a huge grin on her face, "you're going to look amazing!" she exclaims.

A smile forms on my lips as a blush creeps into my cheeks.

Alice starts on my hair, she grabs out a similar curling wand to the one she used on me last time, but it's different, it doesn't have grooves on it. I watch her in the mirror and when she pulls my hair from the wand, it's in a soft curl – not in ringlets like last time. I smile at her. She grins back at me.

"Should I put a braid in her hair?" she asks Rosalie.

"Where were you gonna put it?" she asks as she walks out of her bathroom.

"Just from here to here," Alice replies, running her hands from my left temple travelling across to the middle of my head.

"Yeah, do it. That will look really good," She looks at me in the mirror and smiles at me before going back into her bathroom.

I continue to do my make up as Alice works on my hair. That was one of our conditions that I made her agree on; she and Rosalie could pick what I wear, but it had to be mine and they could do my hair, but I got to do my own make up. She made sure I only had a small mirror to work with though, so I wouldn't see my hair until it was done. I keep my make-up simple, having light pink lipstick with dark eyes and a light brown blush. I finish just before Alice finishes my hair.

"Alright, done." she says before pulling the sheet off of the mirror and unplugging the curling wand. I look up into the mirror. My eyes go wide at what I see before me. The braid she decided to do at the last minute really compliments the soft curls she's done.

"Wow, Ali. I love it, thank you," I tell her quietly. She walks forward and leans down; wrapping her arms around my shoulders and hugs me. I place my hands on her arms before looking at her in the mirror and smiling at her.

"Alice, get off her so I can see," Rose says through a laugh. Alice steps out of our embrace and spins the chair around. I stand up and spin around for her.

"That's going to look so fucking awesome with your dress," she says with a grin on her face. "We are so awesome, give me a high five," she adds, putting her hand up in the air towards Alice. Alice closes the distance between them and slaps her hands to Rosalie's enthusiastically.

"Alright, I'm gonna get dressed now," I say through a laugh.

I unbutton my jeans as I walk over to the bed. I pull them off before taking off my shirt and putting on my dress carefully, making sure I don't ruin my hair. I search through my bag and pull out my black stockings and put them on. I sit down on Rose's bed and pull on my black flats that have flexible bands that lace all the way up the front.

"Okay, I'm done," I say before standing and facing them.

They turn around and take in my appearance. Alice's hands fly to her face, her eyes welling up with tears. Confusion covers my face. She see's my reaction and shakes her head at me before grinning at me.

"You just look so beautiful," she says softly. I look down at the ground as a soft smile forms on my lips.

"God, Alice. You're so emotional," Rose says through a laugh before adding, "Your shoes are hot," She smirks at me when I look up at her.

"Thanks," I say through a light laugh.

Esme knocks on the door before popping her head around the corner and walking inside. Her eyes go wide and a smile forms on her lips when she sees me.

"You girls look beautiful," she tells us before looking at me. "Bella," would you like to come help me cook?" She asks.

"Oh, yeah. Of course," I answer enthusiastically.

"Do _not _get anything on your dress," Rose shouts in a warning tone as I walk out of the room with Esme.

x.X.x

Today has been the best thanksgiving I've had in four years, but I can't get rid of this feeling I have, telling me that something is wrong. I can't help but feel guilty about having a good time today when Charlie is probably off somewhere drowning his sorrows with his beers. I shouldn't even be thinking about that right now. I did everything I could to try and make him feel better over the years, but he just ignored me and kept treating me horribly. Blaming me for everything that happened.

I still have horrible nightmares that haunt me, where he says no one will ever love me or when they do I'll screw it up and they'll leave me. That's why I'm so scared of my feelings for Edward. Not only him, but his family as well. I've become so close to all of them. And lately, every time Edward looks at me the way he does and gives me that gorgeous smile of his, I get this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. That smile usually gives me butterflies. But for some reason it hasn't been giving me the normal feeling it usually does. I can't help but feel that my fears are starting to overcome me.

"Are you okay, honey?" Esme asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glance at her and smile at her lightly.

"Yeah, sorry."

"It's no problem at all," she assures me before going to the cupboard and pulling out all the ingredients and appliances that we need. I help her prepare the vegetables, make the stuffing for the turkey and make the cherry cobbler. I mash the potatoes while she makes the mixed salad. Esme is packing everything away while I wipe down the bench when she speaks again.

"I'm so glad you came today, Bella."

"I'm glad I came," I reply quietly. I can feel her gaze on me but I don't look up. I don't want her to look into my eyes. My mom always said that everyone could read me like an open book, just because of the emotion in my eyes. Some people would say that's a beautiful thing, but I just find it annoying.

"I'll go tell them we need the tables set," I say quietly before walking out of the kitchen.

I take off the apron and run my hands through my hair before walking into the lounge room. My eyes go straight to Edward. I see his mouth open slightly in awe as he takes in my appearance. I bite my bottom lip as I feel the automatic blush cover my cheeks. I glance over his body; he's wearing black jeans with a white button up shirt. He always takes my breath away. He smirks at me and my smile falls. There's that odd feeling again. He notices my change of expression and cocks his head to the side, looking at me questioningly. I break our gaze and look at everyone else in the room, Emmett is missing but Jasper, Alice and Rose are all here looking between Edward and I with confused expressions on their faces.

"Everything is ready," I tell them.

They all stand and head through the living room and out the back. I wait for Edward to reach me and fall into step with him. He entwines our hands together before leaning down and kissing me on the cheek.

"You look so beautiful," he whispers in my ear.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I reply and take a quick glance at him. A small smile forms on my lips, causing him to laugh lightly.

When we reach the back doors, he slides it open and waits for me to walk through them first. Carlisle is at the barbeque, which shocks me at first. He looks completely different in casual but still formal clothes. I've only ever seen him in his doctor coat or a suit when he's gone into a board meeting. He turns around as me and Edward walks up to the table.

"Bella, I'm so glad you could make it," He says with a smile on his face. He walks over to us and pats Edward on the shoulder before pulling me into his side and giving me a light hug. I look up at him and give him a polite smile.

"Thanks," I reply quietly.

"Can I have my girlfriend back, please?" Edward asks with mock annoyance in his voice.

Carlisle rolls his eyes before releasing me, patting me on the cheek and taking his seat at the table. Edward places his forefinger under my chin and moves my face to look back at him. I can see the concern in his eyes and it almost kills me. He cups my cheek in his hand before leaning down and placing a light kiss to my lips. My mouth automatically turns up into a smile against his lips. He places his hand on my lower back and leads us to our seats – he pulls mine out for me and waits for me to sit before he does.

"Everything looks _so _good," Emmett says admiringly before glancing at me and giving me his goofy grin.

"Food _always _looks good to you," Rosalie says through a laugh.

"She's got you there, bro." Jasper says. Alice giggles beside him.

"Whatever," Emmett mumbles.

"Do we all want to go around the table and say what we're thankful for?" Carlisle asks.

Crap. I forgot about that part. Edward notices my body freeze and places his hand over mine, squeezing it lightly before entwining his fingers through mine.

"Who wants to go first?" Esme asks.

"I'll go first!" Alice says enthusiastically.

"I'm thankful for fashion, I'm thankful for sunny days especially now we live in Forks where there are hardly _any_, I'm thankful for my family, for Rose and Jazz coming into our lives, for finding my soul mate," she glances at Jasper. He takes her hand in his as she continues. "I'm thankful for Edward having us when he needed someone. And most recently, I'm thankful for Bella," my eyes go wide and she smiles at me softly. "I'm thankful for her accepting me as her friend, I'm thankful for her being so strong and not letting people bring her down, I'm thankful for her being a great friend to me."

Everyone is silent and continue to stare at her.

"What? I'm finished," she says through a giggle.

"Guess it's my turn," Jasper says before looking around the table. "I'm thankful for having a strong and brave sister; she made it possible for us to survive. I'm thankful for Esme and Carlisle for taking us in, I'm thankful for Alice and Emmett accepting us, and then Edward. I'm thankful for Alice falling in love with me when I fell in love with her, I'm thankful for having a loving family," he glances at me before adding "and great new friends,"

"Well, considering we're twins, I'm pretty much thankful for all the same stuff," says Rose.

"Rose," Carlisle addresses her, "It's thanksgiving, come on." He adds.

She rolls her eyes and sighs. "Fine. I'm thankful for Jasper; truth is, he saved my life, not the other way around. I'm thankful for surviving the shit family I had. It made me stronger. I'm thankful for finding you guys, and finding Emmett. I don't think I could have found anyone better than him for me. I'm thankful for Bella coming into our lives and making this town at least a bit more interesting than it was the first few weeks we were here," She crosses her arms across her chest and leans further down into her seat before smiling at me softly and looking at Emmett.

"I'm thankful for food." Rosalie hits him on the arm and he gives her an annoyed look. "Owe. Excuse me, I wasn't finished. I'm thankful for dad being a doctor, that's pretty awesome, if you ask me. I'm thankful for my mom being the paternal woman she is and taking in Jazz and Rose because I got an awesome brother out of it and a beautiful girlfriend who I wouldn't trade for the world." He leans down and kisses her on the cheek, a small smile forms on her lips. He grins and continues. "I'm thankful for Edward asking to be officially adopted, we were always close when we were little but it was like we were meant to be brothers. And I'm thankful for that little fire cracker over there, for not letting anyone bring her down. You just keep kicking their asses if they're assholes to you, okay?" he says with a grin on his face. Everyone laughs and I can't hold back the laughter either. Esme is the next one to speak.

"I'm thankful for my beautiful healthy children, I'm thankful for my husband who is always supportive of me. And especially today, I'm thankful for Bella; I don't think I would have been able to do all of this without her. She has become a close friend of my children and even closer to my nephew – well, _son – E_dward, who deserves to find happiness after everything that has happened in his life."

She doesn't take her eyes off mine. I can feel my eyes begin to sting and force myself to not cry. Why are they all thankful for me? What have I ever done that's so special? Edward clears his throat and I turn my head to him. I don't look in his eyes but I can feel his gaze on me.

"I'm thankful for my family, for being taken in by the most amazing people in the world, I'm thankful for Jazz being the mellow fucker he is –"

"Really, Edward? Is that necessary?" Carlisle says through a sigh, cutting him off.

"Shit, sorry. I'm thankful for Rose being a tough bitch, ah, I mean, and putting my ass into place when it needs to be," I look over to Rose and see that she's wearing an amused expression on her face. I look at Edward to see he's smirking at her. "I'm thankful for Alice and Emmett for accepting me and being there during the tough times in my life. I'm thankful for Carlisle encouraging me and supporting me and just always being there whenever I've needed to talk." Edward takes my hand in his. I can feel his eyes on me. I look up at him and he smiles at me softly before continuing. "I'm thankful for Bella. I'm thankful for her being real and beautiful and strong. I've never felt this way about anyone before in my life. I'm thankful for her giving into my persistence and giving me a chance,"

I lose my composure and feel the tears fall down my cheeks. He places his hands on my cheeks and wipes away my tears. He kisses me lightly on the lips.

"Honey, are you okay?" Esme asks concerned.

"Yeah, I'm just overwhelmed; that was all really nice of you," I reply quietly. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "I guess it's my turn." I say through a shaky laugh.

I look around the table and see that everyone's eyes are on me.

"I don't really know what to say… I haven't done this in a while. I guess I'm mainly just thankful for you guys moving here. I've been alone for a fairly long time. I'm thankful for Alice not giving up on me, I'm thankful for Rose always having my back." I look up into Edward's eyes and see that he's watching me intently. I don't take my eyes of his as I continue. "I'm thankful for you, Edward. For being so kind and sweet to me. For treating me like I'm perfect the way I am. Thank you."

I bite my bottom lip and look away from him. I play with the hem of my shirt. Edward turns his chair around to face me. I look up to see that everyone has left the table. He places his hands over mine.

"Come sit on the picnic table with me?" he asks softly before standing up, keeping his hands over mine. I stand with him and entwine our hands. He wraps one of his arms around my shoulders as we walk to the end of his back yard, down to the picnic table. He sits on top of the table with both his legs hanging on either side of the table. I sit in front of him – he pulls me closer and untangles my legs, wrapping them around his waist. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his chest.

"Talk to me," he whispers.

"About what?"

"What's wrong, Bella. I can tell something's bothering you,"

"I'm fine," I reassure him.

He sighs and wraps his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. He leans his head down so his cheek is resting against mine. He turns his head to place a kiss on my cheek, then my jaw, making his way to my lips. I lift my head to kiss him back. The kiss is slow and passionate. I keep my eyes closed after he pulls away.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he asks. I feel his hands gently cup my face. "Look at me," he whispers.

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before opening my eyes and meeting his gaze. There's something in his eyes that I just can't describe.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asks again.

"Thanksgiving has a lot of bad memories for me," I tell him.

"Because of your mom?"

I stay silent but nod my head

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I say quietly but firmly.

"Well I need to tell you something, anyway."

My head snaps up and I look into his eyes. He has a confident smile on his face.

"Bella. I've been thinking a lot lately, about us. And, well, I spoke to Jasper about it and, and I just want you to know how much I care about you, I've never felt like this about anyone before in my life. You're beautiful, inside and out."

He keeps his gaze locked with mine and I can't look away from him, even though I desperately want to. He can't be going where I think he is.

"What I'm trying to say, is that I love you." My eyes go wide at his confession. _Did he just say what I think he did?_

"What?" I ask through a whisper.

"I love you so much baby. And I don't want you to ever doubt that. I want you to always remember that you're my girl, no matter what. I'll never leave you." He says confidentially.

I smile at him softly, a lone tear falling down my cheek as the weird feeling of Dejavu hits me. He brings his hands up to my face and wipes it away before leaning down and softly planting his lips to mine.

My mind finally falls into place and I remember where I've heard those words before. From my mother – _No, no, no. This can't be happening. _I think to myself. _Not again, I can't handle this._

I pull away from him quickly before reluctantly looking into his eyes. His face falls when he takes in my expression. "Do you feel the same?" he asks uncertainly.

"I- Yes, wait. No, I don't know." I ramble before climbing off of the table, putting distance between us. I look up at him and see that he looks crushed. What have I done? What has _he _done? Why did he have to tell me he loves me? _Why?_

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," I whisper before turning and walking away. I can hear him follow after me.

"Bella, wait. What just happened?" he asks, confused.

"I can't go through this again, I can't." I rant as I begin to pick up my pace, he catches up to me and grabs my arm, pulling me to an abrupt stop.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not letting myself get hurt again," I say before trying to pull my arm out of his grasp.

"I'd never hurt you, Bella." He says, shock lacing the tone of his voice.

"Edward, let me go." I tell him quietly as I continue to pull my arm out of his grasp. I look up at him. He looks so hurt and confused, but I have to this. _I have to._ If he loves me, he'll end up hurting me. He'll end up leaving me. Just like Charlie said. I feel my eyes begin to sting. He goes to wipe my tears but I flinch away from him. He closes the distance between us and wraps his arms around me.

"I'm not letting you go until you talk to me,"

"Edward, please. Just let me go," I sob as I struggle in his arms. "Just let me go!" I yell as I continue to push him away from me. As soon as his hold on me loosens, I turn on my heel and run as fast as I can, with tears falling down my face.

I forget to watch where I'm going and I get knocked on my feet after colliding with something. Which actually turns out to be _someone._

"Whoa, Bella. Slow _down_," Alice says before looking down at me. "Oh my god, are you crying?"

"I need to go home,"

"Did you and Edward have a fight? I heard yelling. Bella, what's going on?" she asks concerned. I stand up and brush down my dress.

"Hey, guys. Whoa, what happened to you?" Rosalie says, shock thick in her voice.

"I just need to go home, _now_!" I plead through a loud sob.

"Okay, okay. Come on." Alice says softly, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"Alright, I'm just gonna go find Edward," Rose says in an annoyed voice.

"Tell him I'm sorry," I tell her.

"About what? What the fuck is happening?" she asks exasperatedly.

"Please just _tell him_," I whisper in a pleading voice.

Alice leads us to her yellow porch, and helps me into the seat. She stays quiet on the ride home until we pull into my drive way.

"Bella, what happened? Please talk to me, I'm really worried."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't want this to happen. Why did this have to happen? You're my best friend. You know that right? Please know that I love you. I love you guys so much. Your family means more to me than anything. But I just couldn't go through it again, Alice. I just couldn't." I wipe at my eyes as tears continue to fall down my face.

"Please tell Edward I'm sorry, and that I do love him. So much, but I just can't do it,"

I begin to unbuckle my seatbelt. I look up at her one last time to see concern and fear clear in her eyes.

"Bella, wait–"

I jump out of the car and run up my driveway before she can continue. I grab the spare key out of the pot plant, unlock the door. I slam the door shut and slide down it once I'm inside. I take deep breaths, trying to get my breathing under control. It's not long before Alice begins banging on the door and yelling out for me to talk to her. I crawl to my feet and quickly turn the lock before running up the stairs and into my room. _Did that seriously just happen? _I knew something was going to go wrong today. I could _feel _it. Why did he have to tell me he loves me? I love him too. So much, but I hoped to god that he didn't feel the same because the people who love you are the ones who end up hurting you the most.

My phone begins to ring. I left it here because I didn't want to get distracted when I was at Edward's. Even though anyone that would distract me was in the same house as me. I go over to the bedside table and see that it's Edward. I cancel the call, seconds later it begins to ring again. I watch my phone screen as it continues to light up. Alice begins to ring as well, and then even Rosalie starts to call. It's then that I realize I have to leave. He's going to come over here; I know what he's like. I know he'll do it. And if he doesn't, then Alice or Rose will. If I stay here with them, they'll probably just end up leaving me anyway, everyone always does. I'm not good enough to stay with. I'll do something to screw it up and they'll leave. Look at me now; I've already begun to screw shit up because of my stupid insecurities and defense mechanisms. I can't handle them leaving me. Not after everything that's already happened to me. I'm finally happy again, but that can easily get crushed in a second. Especially when the ones who brought you out of your darkness are the ones who can easily put you back there.

I grab my overnight bags out from under my desk and chuck them on top of my bed. I get changed into a fresh pair of clothes and shove my dress and shoes into the bag before rummaging through my closet, grabbing all of my clothes and shoving them into one of the bags. I collect all my books, cd's, jewelry box, my box of all my special things and put them into the second bag. I grab my radio clock and put that in there too – I go into the bathroom and pull out all my toiletries, putting them into my overnight toiletry bag. I go back into my room and notice my desk drawer is open. I look inside and see my old photo album. I pick it up, and that's when I notice all my framed photos of Edward, Alice, Rose, Jasper and Emmet on my desk. Tears automatically well up in my eyes as I grab them and put them in the other bag.

I grab my bags and descend the stairs and go into the kitchen. I go through the cupboards and grab some things to take on the road with me so I don't have to stop anywhere. I go to the money can and chuck all of the notes and coins into a plastic zip bag. I write Charlie a short note; not that he'll even care that I'm gone.

I head to the door and take one last look around. I've always wanted to get out of this town, but I never thought I'd be leaving this way. I feel more tears fall from my eyes as I walk out the door, climb into my truck, and drive away from the town I grew up in.


	21. Bye, Bye, Bella

**_A/N: _**Sorry about the chapter name mix up! I accidentally put chapter 20's title as 'Bye, Bye, Bella' when it was meant to be 'Thanksgiving'

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty One – **__(Bye, bye, Bella)_

* * *

_**EPOV**_

"I'm not letting you go until you talk to me," I whisper in her ear.

"Edward, please. Just let me go," she begs through a sob. She begins to struggle in my arms.

"Just let me go!" she yells as she continues to push me away from her. I stand there in shock, loosening my hold on her arm. My heart constricts in my chest as I watch Bella turn on her heel and run as fast as she can away from me.

I don't understand what just happened. Why did she act like that? She said that she feels the same, but then she said she didn't. She kept mumbling about not being able to go through it again, that she can't get hurt again. I'd never hurt her. Ever. I run my hands down my face and lean up against the brick wall, slowly sliding down it until I'm sitting on the ground. I pull my phone out my pocket and text Bella. I get no reply. I try to call her, but it rings out to her voicemail. I continue to call her; the sound of footsteps grabs my attention. I look up to see Rose walking towards me. She sits down next to me and rests her hands in her lap. I can feel her gaze on me. I let out a sigh before finally meeting her eyes.

"What happened?" she asks, her voice filled with concern.

"I don't know,"

"We heard shouting so we walked out the front, Bella literally ran into Alice and knocked herself over–"

"What? Is she okay?" I ask, panicked. Cutting her off. She gives me a soft smile and nods her head before continuing.

"Yeah, she's fine. Alice took her home,"

I look away from her and rest my head in my hands. I hear Rose sigh before she places her hand on my back.

"Look, I know you wouldn't normally talk to me about personal stuff, but I'm here if you need me, Edward." She pats me on the back before standing. I look up and watch her walk away.

I can't stand being so still, so I begin to pace back and forth, kicking rocks around, running my hands through my hair and practically pulling it out while I stress. That's how Emmett and Jasper find me when they walk out of the back doors. They eye me carefully before approaching. I roll my eyes at them before sitting on top of the outside dining table.

"Esme will kick your ass if you wreck her table," Emmett says.

"Who gives a shit about the damn table, Em," Jasper replies, surprising us both with his language. He closes the distance between us and joins me on the table. Emmett stands in front of us.

"Sorry bro," Em says sympathetically before lightly punching me in the arm.

"For what?"

They keep quiet, causing me to look up at them, finally meeting their gaze.

"Well there was yelling and Bella looked pretty distraught so we just assumed you guys–"

"We didn't break up," I say in an annoyed tone, cutting Jasper off.

"Oh, well… What happened?" Emmett asks confused.

"Why the fuck does everyone keep asking me that? I don't know!"

"Alright, Ed. Calm down,"

"Don't tell me to calm down! I have the right to be pissed off!" I yell exasperatedly.

"We know that, dude. But don't take it out on us," Emmett says in an annoyed tone.

"We'll just leave you alone," Jasper says before grabbing Emmett's arm and dragging him back into the house.

Once they've gone inside, I try to call Bella again. Still no answer. It doesn't take long after that for Esme to come outside.

"How are you holding up, honey?" she asks concerned.

"You're the first one to ask me that,"

"Everyone's just confused and worried. They want to know what happened, we all do,"

"I don't know what happened," I tell her with a sigh. "I've already told them that," I add.

"Well, what do _you_ think caused her to run off like that?" she asks.

"Fear, confusion, I don't _know, _Esme."

"What would she have been scared of?" she asks, honest curiosity in her voice.

"Me,"

"Why on earth would she be scared of you?" she asks incredulously.

"I told her I loved her,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah," I mumble.

"I don't see why that would scare her off; don't girls usually want to hear that from their boyfriend?"

"Apparently not." I say through a sigh.

"Oh, honey. I'm sure everything will be fine."

She walks up to me and places her hand under my chin, lifting it up until I meet her gaze. She smiles at me softly before kissing me on the cheek and saying, "Don't jump to conclusions until you know all the facts, because it could be something else entirely."

We're rudely interrupted by Alice barging through the back door.

"Edward, what the hell happened?" Alice asks,

"I'll just leave you two alone," Esme says before patting me on the cheek and walking away. Alice looks at me expectantly. I let out a long sigh.

"I really wish people would stop fucking asking me that. I don't _know_," I say through a groan.

"Don't play stupid with me. I know something happened; this is me you're talking to. Something really shook her up, because she practically ran right into me and begged me to drive her home."

"I know that, Rose told me –" I tell her, cutting her off. She gives me an annoyed look and continues as if I didn't interrupt her.

"In the car she kept going on about how much all of us mean to her, especially you. But then she was saying stuff like she can't let herself get hurt again and just randomly apologized for putting us through this and practically jumped out of the car while it was still moving and ran into her house—"

"Why didn't you go after her and see if she was okay?" I ask, annoyed.

"Will you _please_ stop cutting me off?" She says before placing her hands on her hips and continuing. "I did try to see if she was okay, but she wouldn't answer the door or her phone!"

"Why didn't you call me? I could have come over and sorted everything out!" I yell.

"Will you _calm down_? What happened between you two after dinner? Did you have a fight or something? What aren't you telling me?" she asks quietly.

"It's nothing Alice! It has nothing to do with you, anyway; you should have just called me!"

"Why are you yelling at me?" she asks, her voice raising an octave. "Don't put this on me, Edward. It isn't my fault," she adds, the hurt clear in her voice. I take a deep breath and close my eyes, trying to calm myself down. She's right, I shouldn't be yelling at her.

"I know, I'm sorry." I mumble.

She stands directly in front of me and rests her hands on my arms. I look up and meet her gaze.

"I told her that I'm in love with her. She smiled at first, but it was kind of off and a tear fell down her cheek. I thought she was happy, so I wiped it away and kissed her. She pulled away so I asked if she felt the same. She said she did, and then she said she didn't."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says quietly. Her grip on my arms tightening.

"Then she just ran off, I ran after her and kept calling out to her and eventually caught up to her. She said the same things to me that she did to you, that she can't get hurt again… I held her and said I'd never hurt her, but she just kept yelling at me telling me to let her go. So I did, and she ran off. I don't know what I did wrong, I finally got the courage to tell her how I really felt about her, and then she just ran away from me…"

"I'm sure she's just overwhelmed, Edward. Maybe she just needs time to think stuff through? Don't beat yourself up about it, it isn't your fault. I think she has a lot of baggage that we don't know about yet as well –"

"Yeah, I think that baggage has something to do with her mom." I tell her through a sigh.

"She talks to you about her mom?" she asks, curiously.

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just… I'd always ask her about her and she would tell me bits about her, but she would never elaborate."

"She told me she has bad memories from thanksgiving, I asked if it was because of her mom and she said it was, but she did the same with me and wouldn't talk about it any further,"

I run my hands through my hair again before resting my chin on my palms. Alice looks at me sympathetically before sighing and pulling my hands away from my face, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around me, resting her head on top of mine. I wrap my arms around her waist.

"I'll go over to her house tomorrow morning and see if she's alright. Then we can sort everything out, okay?" she asks, her voice muffled from my hair.

"Thanks, Alice. Sorry for yelling at you, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"It's okay," she replies softly.

I feel her lips press against the top of my head.

* * *

I wake up from my haunted dreams of Bella at 11AM. I groan as I drag myself out of bed and get into the shower. The hot water feels great on my skin, automatically relaxing and loosening my muscles. I turn off the shower and grab my towel, wrapping it around my waist. I pick up another one and begin to pat my skin and hair dry as I walk into my room. I get dressed, hanging my towel on my computer chair before descending the stairs. I walk into the kitchen to see Carlisle sitting at the bench. A laugh escapes my lips as I take in his appearance. He's wearing a navy blue long sleeved cotton shirt with baggy dark and light shaded blue jeans, eating a bowl of Cap'n Crunch cereal.

He looks up at me at the sound of my laugh, quirking his brow at me. I roll my eyes at him and shake my head before grabbing a bowl and spoon out of the cupboard, and picking up the cereal, pouring myself a bowl. I can feel his gaze on me. I look up to see him looking at me cautiously. I look at him pointedly, silently telling him to hurry the fuck up and say what he wants to say to me.

"How are you holding up, son?" he asks, genuine concern covering his face. Well, that was unexpected.

"Fine, I guess."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," I mumble, before eating a mouthful of cereal. "There's nothing to talk about," I add, before taking a glance at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Alice told me what happened,"

"Of course she did," I reply through a sigh, closing my eyes before resting my head in my hands.

"I'm sure she feels the same, Edward. She may just need some time to process everything that happened,"

I open my eyes and look over at him. He smiles at me sympathetically before getting up off his chair and walking over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm here whenever you need me," I nod my head. He gives my shoulder a light squeeze before walking out of the kitchen.

* * *

I'm sitting in the living room flicking through the TV channels, trying to find something decent to watch by the time Alice comes home.

"Hey, did you go see Bella?" I lean around to look behind her. "Where is she, did she come back with you?"I ask hopefully.

"Uh, no. She didn't come back with me. She wasn't there,"

"What do you mean she wasn't there?" I ask confused.

"Well, her truck wasn't there, and I went up to the front door, and it was unlocked, which is not like her at all, so I went up to her room –"

"You went into her house when she wasn't home? She's gonna be so pissed when she finds that out," I say through a small laugh. I lean back into the couch before Alice speaks again.

"Uh, Edward?" she addresses me. Her voice anxious.

I look up at her to see her expression has fallen and turned into a mask of concern.

"Everything was gone – her closet was empty, and most of her things were missing. I rang her father at the station, but he wasn't there and I don't have his personal number—"

"He's in La Push with Harry Clearwater; he told Bella he didn't want her in his house by herself or with anyone else when he isn't there." I sit back up abruptly as my eyebrows scrunch up in thought. Why would all her stuff be gone?

"There is something seriously wrong between the two of them," she says through a sigh before continuing. "What kind of father does that? No wonder she never answers her house phone. She's probably never inside of it unless she has one of us over,"

"Yeah, well, he's a real jerk. I've seen it in action," I tell her. She sits down next to me on the couch, her elbow resting on her knee as her palm cups her chin.

"I called around and she hasn't contacted anyone. I'm really worried about her, Edward, it's like she's just disappeared," she says quietly.

"She hasn't disappeared, Alice. Don't be so melodramatic,"

"There was a note to Charlie on the kitchen counter. Saying she's leaving because she needs to get away. I've been ringing her all morning and she isn't answering."

"Maybe that means she's just gone to a hotel to get away from her dad or something," I say hopefully.

"I wish I was wrong, but I really think she's gone." She looks up at me, her eyes filling with tears.

"She can't be fucking gone, Alice! She wouldn't just pack her shit and leave!" I tell her, my voice raising in volume.

"Please don't yell at me," she says through a shaky voice before adding. "I'm sorry, I don't know what else it could be."

"Maybe I've been imagining shit – maybe she doesn't feel the same way and was just having a bit of fun." I mumble, my heart constricting in my chest at the thought. She moves closer to me on the couch and places her hand over mine.

"That's bullshit and you know it, Edward. I'm not a moron. I could tell that she has real feelings for you. If she didn't, she wouldn't look at you the way she does or let you kiss her. Trust me, if a girl isn't interested in a guy, she wouldn't let him touch her the way she lets you do,"

"Well, O Mighty One. Please be so kind to explain to me the circumstance I'm in?" I say sarcastically. She rolls her eyes at me before answering.

"I think she just freaked out and took off. Like you said last night, it could have something to do with her mother. She has some baggage that we don't know 100% about yet. I'll help you find her though,"

"How can we find her when we don't even know where she would ever go, Alice? Are you honestly that stupid!" I ask exasperatedly. I watch her as the hurt covers her expression, tears automatically welling up in her eyes from my outburst.

"Don't start yelling at me after I just said I would help you find her, Edward! God, you're such an asshole sometimes! You aren't the only one who's lost her you know! I love her too!" she yells before wiping at her eyes aggressively and storming out of the living room.

My hands make their way into my hair. I pull on it hard, my stomach feeling sick with stress and fear that what Alice has told me is true. She can't be gone. She wouldn't just leave like that. She isn't that type of person, I swear she isn't. _Or is she?_ My subconscious asks. _You don't exactly know her perfectly. _It taunts me. I pull at my hair harder as my breathing begins to become labored. I sit back down on the couch and put my head between my knees. Once my breathing is back under control, I pull out my cell from my back pocket. I scroll through my contacts until I find Bella's name. I press the green call button and sit and listen to sound of it ringing.

It goes straight to voicemail again. I leave her a message.

"_Hey, it's Edward. I don't know where you are or why you aren't answering, but if I overwhelmed you, I'm sorry. We can talk about it if you want –"_

Her voicemail cuts me off. I stay in the living room, staring at nothing as time passes me buy. I call her again, and leave her another voice mail.

"_If you don't want to see me, that's fine. But please just answer my calls or even Alice's or Rosalie's. I just want to know that you're okay."_ I sigh into the phone line before hanging up.

I try sending her messages.

_**I don't know what to do. Alice says you're gone.  
I pray to god that isn't true. I don't know what I'll do if you're gone.  
At least send me a text so I know you're okay.  
I love you.  
- E**_

Still no reply.

I stand up and head towards the back door. I sit down on the dining table, staring at the ground as I rest my head on my arms. I keep my eyes on the ground as I feel the presence of Jasper sitting across from me. There's something about him that you can just tell when he's in the same room as you.

"If you're going to ask if I'm okay, I think I may actually go insane," I warn him.

"_Are _you okay?"

I groan and run my hand down my face. Jasper laughs quietly to himself beside me.

"How would you be?" I mumble my voice thick with annoyance.

"Pretty shit, actually,"

"Well, there you go,"

"I know everyone has probably already said this to you, but I'm sure everything will be fine. Just wait it out until we go back to school on Monday. I'm sure she'll show up," he says confidentially.

I look over at him. His lips turn up into a reassuring smile. I can see the concern in his eyes and it almost tips me over the edge. Jasper is always calm when this type of shit goes down. Emmett and Rose have had plenty of fights, and Jazz was always the one who calmed everyone down when shit got out of hand. Even Carlisle goes to him sometimes when his work is beginning to stress him out.

"What if she doesn't?" I ask, uncertainly.

"Then you both look for her and fight for her. Or you try and live without her,"

"What if I can't?"

"You'll have us supporting you, Ed. We'll help you get through it."

He stands and walks around the table, and sits down beside me. He places his arm across my shoulders and squeezes me lightly. If Emmett tried to pull a sympathetic move like that on me I'd kick his ass. But this is Jasper. I lean into his arm before resting my face back on my arms.

"Why does everything always have to turn to shit?" I ask, my voice muffled by my hands.

"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, man."

He removes his arm from around my shoulders, but continues to sit next to me. Silently telling me that he's going to be there if I need him. I turn my head and look up at him.

"Thanks, Jazz. For everything." I tell him appreciatively. He smiles at me softly before standing up.

"No problem, bro. Anytime." He slaps me lightly on the back before walking back into the house.

I sit outside for hours, not noticing how dark it's gotten until Esme comes out to get me.

"It's getting late, honey,"

"Yeah," I respond in a whisper.

I stand up and make my way inside. I plant a kiss on her cheek, causing her to pull me into a tight hug. I wrap my arms around her and squeeze her back lightly before letting go. She looks up at me and smiles at me sadly before I turn my back on her and walk up the stairs and into my room.

I change into an old T and football shorts before collapsing onto my bed. I have never felt so exhausted in my life. And my chest has never felt so heavy.

* * *

**Yeeeeah, so Bella's gone... Poor Edward, and Alice and Rosalie and the rest of the Cullen's. DON'T HATE ME! I can't give anything away, buuuut please just don't flounce and keep reading the story. Thank you to all the people adding this story to their favourites and alerts. It means a lot to me. Thank you for all the reviews, keep 'em coming! And thankyou to my MyHeartOfMusic for Beta'ing this chapter for me! I love you all!**

**natalee-x**


	22. Run Away & New Friends

_**A/N: **Hey Guys! I'm so so so so sorry about the late update! I know i told you i would be posting it last Wednesday, but my silly Beta doesn't seem to know what a deadline is! :P But it's not all her fault, her stupid computer had a virus on it and wouldn't let her send me the chapter. But luckily for us, her mamma had a look at it today and i recieved the chapter tonight! So yay, i can finally post it! Below are photos of the apartment Bella ends up staying at. I'm not spoiling who the character in which she ends up crashing with is, though! So you'll just have to read and find out!_

_**Living Room & Balcony:** http : / i52 . tinypic . com / 29e0tvt . jpg  
**Dining Room:** http : / i55 . tinypic . com / 29gok68 . jpg  
**Kitchen:** http: / i51 . tinypic . com / 2rngc37 . jpg  
**Main Bathroom:** http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 2akhc3t . jpg  
**Bella's Bedroom:** http : / i54 . tinypic . com / 21oa8vs . jpg  
**Bella's Bathroom:** http : / i55 . tinypic . com / 3wbgk1 . jpg_

**_Don't forget to take out the spaces!_**

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty Two **__– (Run Away & New Friends)_

* * *

**_BPOV_**

As I drive away to wherever it is I'm going – anywhere away from forks - all I can see in my mind is Edwards face. I never thought we would end up this way, I never thought for a second that all my fears would come flooding back into my mind, causing me to run away from the best thing that ever happened to me. It nearly killed me when I saw how crushed he was. It hurt so much to walk away from him after all the time we've spent together, after how close I've become with not only him, but his family; especially Alice, who's become my best friend. It took every ounce of strength that I had not to turn around and run back to them. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do, or how I'm going to survive without them. Especially Edward – He made me feel so safe and like I could finally be myself again. But as soon as he said those three words to me in a similar way my mother did before she left, all my insecurities and negative self-worth came crashing back down on me.

I drive for miles, not knowing where I'm going or what I'm going to do once I get there. I slow down as I grab my phone to take a quick glance at the clock on it. Oh, the joys of having a prehistoric vehicle. I shake my head at myself. I wouldn't trade in my truck for anything so I shouldn't be complaining about it. My phone says it's after 4:00 AM in the morning. I left just before midnight so that means I've been driving for nearly four and a half hours. A yawn escapes my lips as I come to this realization and I lean forward in my seat so I can see the road signs easier. I remember passing a sign not long ago that said 'Welcome to Portland, Oregon'

"Huh," I muse to myself. Looks like I'm in Oregon.

I pull onto the side of the road and pick up my phone. I open my GPS browser and search motels that are close to me that I could stay at for the night. Well, morning is more like it. Thankfully for me, there's one that's only a few minutes away. I park my truck and lock it before walking over to the head office. It's a pretty run down place, but I don't want to waste the money I have on an over priced hotel. I only need a shower and a bed. I place my hands over the glass and look into the room, trying to see if it's still open. A boy about my age walks out of a store room and flicks on the light, causing me to almost have a heart attack. I stumble backwards but steady myself so I don't fall over and make a complete fool of myself. He's tall and lean with short, frosted brown hair. His skin has an olive complexion with a chalky pallor to it. He gives me a quizzical look before smiling softly at me and walking over to the door and opening it.

"Hi, sorry I frightened you. Can I help you?"

I return his smile before walking over to him. I notice that his eyes are a bright Blue.

"Uh, yeah. I was just hoping to get a room?" I phrase the sentence as a question. He laughs lightly before gesturing for me to come in.

"That'll be no problem. Rough night?" he asks. I give him a confused look before I notice my reflection in the mirror on the wall behind him. My eyes widen at the sight before me. My hair is a mess and my eyeliner and mascara has become smudged with wet patch stains on my cheeks from my tears.

"You could say that," I confirm, embarrassment clear in my voice. He gives me a sympathetic look before smirking at me.

"Okay, let's start over." He turns his face away, and then looks back to me.

"One room won't be a problem… So what are you doing out this late? Or should I say early?" He asks with a serious expression on his face. Determined to act like the conversation before this didn't happen.

I laugh quietly to myself before biting my bottom lip and resting my arms on the front desk. "Just needed a change of scenery." I say quietly.

"Right, well how long do you want to stay?"

"Oh, just tonight thanks,"

"Continuing your journey in the morning?" he asks through a chuckle before holding his hand out and adding "I'm Demetri, by the way,"

"Bella." I say, taking his hand in mine and shaking it. "And yeah, I don't know where I'm off to yet," I add.

"You'll know when you find the right place," he winks at me before walking back into the store room and returning with something in his hand. He hands it out to me. It's my room key.

"This is your key. You're in room 14A,"

"Thanks," I give him a smile as I take the key from him.

"Nice to meet you!" he calls out as I walk away. I turn around and give him a polite smile.

I walk back to my truck and pull out the duffel bag with my clothes and toiletries in it and then walk back along the pathway to my room. Thank god he didn't put me in a room upstairs, because I honestly don't think I have the energy for that. I didn't realize how exhausted I am. I take in the room as I walk inside. It's not as run down like the outside of the building. I lock the door before going into the bathroom and having a shower. I feel my eyes sting before the tears begin to flow down my face again. I wash them away, along with my smudged make-up. Once I feel clean enough, I climb out of the shower and wrap the towel around me. I walk out into the room and get dressed into my pajamas, grabbing my phone charger out of my bag before placing the bag next to my bed. I have over 30 missed calls and 20 text messages. A sigh escapes me as I turn off the phone so I don't get any calls or texts through the rest of the night.

I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.

* * *

I'm woken up by a loud knock on the door. I rub my eyes before rolling over and looking at the radio clock on the bedside table. Jesus Christ, it's after 12 PM. I drag myself out of bed, running my hand through my hair as I open the door. Demetri is on the other side with a silver room service tray and I feel my expression turn into confusion.

"I thought I'd come to see if you were still alive," he says through a laugh. I meet his eyes to see he's looking at me expectantly. I step aside and smile at him softly as he makes his way inside.

"This is on the house too, just so you know," he adds.

"Oh, Thanks. You really didn't have to do that,"

"It's no problem at all, really."

He turns around and faces me. That smile still plastered on his face. I sigh before walking over to my bed, crossing my legs in front of me and leaning against the pillows and headboard. He sits down at the end of the bed, placing the tray between us and lifting off the lid. It's pancakes and bacon and eggs. My stomach makes a horrendous noise at the sight of it. I look up at Demetri to see an amused expression on his face and I feel the blush rush into my cheeks. I look away from him and grab the silverware to start eating.

"So how did you sleep?" he asks as I put a fork full of food in my mouth. He notices this and this time can't stop himself from laughing aloud. I narrow my eyes at him before swallowing and wiping my mouth.

"It was fine,"

"Just fine?" He asks, mock hurt in his voice.

"Do you own this place yourself? How old are you?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Nah, my parents do, I just help out. And I'm nineteen, what about you?"

"I'm seventeen." I say before eating another mouth full of food.

"Cool. So when are you heading off?" he asks.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I ask with mock shock in my voice.

"Of course not! I actually didn't want to miss saying goodbye," He says through a rushed voice before realizing that I was only joking. "Oh, that was so uncool." He adds.

I can't help the laugh that escapes me. What is it about strangers that ease out all the troubles in your life? Maybe it's the fact that they don't really know you, and they can never get close enough to you to hurt you. Well, that's unless they're a psycho serial killer. In that case, you're screwed.

"I'm going to head off soon, actually."

"Oh, okay." He says quietly. "Well, if you're ever around this way again, don't be afraid to call in and say hi." He adds before snatching a piece of bacon off of the tray and popping it in his mouth as he stands up. I climb off of the bed and hold my hand out to him. He rolls his eyes at the gesture before closing the distance between us and hugging me. I stand there in shock as he laughs quietly.

"You know, usually people hug someone back," he whispers. A small smile forms on my lips. I place my arms under his and return the embrace. "That wasn't so hard now, was it?" he adds.

"It was nice to meet you." I tell him.

"You too, sweetheart. Just leave the room key with the tray. I'll come pick it up later." He winks at me before walking out of the room.

I eat the rest of my breakfast before getting changed. I leave the room key with the tray on the table and lock the door before walking back to my truck. I chuck my bag on the passenger seat before putting the key in the ignition. I see Demetri in the office window and give him a wave as I drive away.

* * *

I drive for another 274 Miles, stopping at gas stations to have a quick toilet break or to grab a bottle of water. It's nearly 5PM by the time I reach Medford, Oregon. I pull into the parking lot of a small take away shop. I lock up my truck before walking over to the shop and having a look inside. Thankfully they don't close until 6:30PM. I browse the menu on the wall before the lady comes out from the back.

"Hey honey, how can I help you?"

"Can I please just get the child's chicken burger meal with hot chips and a small coke." I ask politely.

"Sure thing," She says as she scribbles down the order. "Feel free to take a seat while you wait, hon." She adds before smiling at me and walking out the back.

She's back within five minutes.

"Here you go sweetheart. That comes to six dollars and ninety five cents."

"Thanks." I reply quietly before handing her the cash and walking and sitting at one of the tables that is outside of the shop. Once I'm finished I chuck my rubbish in the bin and walk around the corner to use the bathroom quickly before taking off.

* * *

It's not until another five hours of travelling and 308 miles later that I begin to feel tired again. I pass the sign that says "Welcome to Sacramento, California" and decide to stay in the city for the night. I drive around the town, looking for somewhere to pull in for the night. I find Motel6 somewhere downtown.

I pull into the parking lot and lock up my truck before heading over to the front office. This time there's a woman in her late fifties filling out a stack of paperwork at the desk. At least I won't almost fall on my face again. I knock on the door lightly and she looks up, smiling at me before gesturing with her hand for me to come inside. I return her smile and walk up to the desk.

"Hi, dear. How can I help you?" she asks kindly.

"Are there any single rooms available for the night?"

"Of course there is, honey. We don't get many people staying here nowadays," she says through a sad sigh. She looks up at me and I give her a sympathetic smile. She starts to tap on the computer before opening one of her draws and handing me the key to my room.

"Have a nice night," she says as I walk away. I turn around and give her another smile.

"You too. Don't work too hard, it's getting late."

That gets a laugh out of her.

I go through the same routine I did the night before. Shower. Pajamas. Putting my phone on charge then turning it off. The only difference is I can't stop myself from crying myself to sleep.

* * *

It's 8:30AM when I wake up the next morning. Far out, a ten hour sleep. No wonder I feel so rested. I stretch my muscles before climbing out of bed and getting changed. I walk down into the mini buffet area and grab a bowl of cheerio's and make myself a cup of coffee. I sit at one of the small tables. I take a quick glance around and notice there are only a few people here.

One pair is an elderly couple, probably in their eighties. Another is a couple that look like they're in their fourties with a young teenage boy who looks bored out of his mind. They all eye me suspiciously. I guess it would look odd for a girl like me who looks so young to be in a run down hotel like this by herself.

I finish the rest of my breakfast a lot quicker then I intended to. I go back to my room and pack up my things before going back down to the front office and handing in my key before paying for the room and going back to my truck. It's nearly 9:00AM by the time I leave.

I don't feel like doing a million pit stop s today, so I decide to drive three and a half hours straight before stopping at Hanford, California. From what I've seen of California so far, it's a pretty nice state. The coastlines are pretty and the people are all really friendly. Demetri said I'd know it when I found the place I'm looking for. I wouldn't say it's this specific place in California, but it has to be around here somewhere.

I pull up to a park somewhere that is across the road from a series of take away shops. I grab my wallet before locking up my truck and crossing the road. And yes, I look both ways before crossing. I decide to have a cheese and bacon pie with a small carton of iced coffee. I pay the young boy at the counter before walking back to the park where I parked my truck.

I sit on one of the picnic tables. I watch all the old couples walking along the path, hand in hand; the tight nit families flying kites together; then the young couple feeding the ducks in the river, kissing each other and exchanging a personal whispered conversation. I can't stop the emotions that overwhelm me at this moment.

I wish there was a way I could let Edward know that this wasn't easy for me, that I didn't leave because I didn't care about him. I hate to admit it, but I find myself stuck in that whole cliché 'it's not you, it's me' scenario. _I wish I could find a way to let him know that I'm sorry. _I know that if I really wanted to I could just pick up the phone and talk to him when he calls me, or reply to the millions of texts he's sent me. But I know if I do that I'll just break down and it will make everything ten times worse.

We may love each other, but I can't let myself fall into that trap again. I can't let myself become that vulnerable again. My mother said she loved me and that she would never leave me, but then she just disappeared and never even said goodbye...

Sometimes I think I wouldn't be so broken if she at least had the decency to say goodbye to me. I can't decide what scenario is worse though. Her leaving without saying goodbye, or her coming to me and telling me she's leaving, never coming back and there's nothing I can do to change her mind. I think the latter would have been worse.

I scrunch up my wrapping papers and chuck them in the bin as I make my way back to my truck. It's 1:00PM by the time I leave Hanford. I continue to travel south. Stopping every two hours to have a quick toilet break or to fill up the gas tank.

While I'm at a gas station, I notice a map hanging up on the wall inside. There's a picture of a place called Hermosa Beach. It's at least another two hours away, but I don't seem to care. I feel a smile form on my lips.

It looks like I've found the place I was looking for.

* * *

It's 7:30PM by the time I reach Hermosa Beach. The picture didn't do it any justice. It's the most beautiful place I've ever seen. It reminds me of paradise. I drive around town trying to find somewhere to grab something to eat and I head further into town away from the beach. I notice a small diner that looks crossed between a bar as well. I park my truck and grab my small bag, chucking my wallet and phone inside of it. I look at my Miles count and notice I've travelled 1022 Miles from Forks. Talk about looking for a change of scenery. I lock up my truck before making my way across the road quickly. I stand out the front of the diner slash bar for a few seconds before walking inside and taking a seat in one of the booths. Someone yells out "floor!" and before I know it there's a tall slender woman with gorgeous long blonde hair standing in front of me. She kind of reminds me of Rosalie.

"Hey, I'm Tanya. I'll be your waitress tonight," she says with a polite smile.

"Hi, I'm Bella." I put out my hand to her. She returns my smile before placing her hand in mine and asking, "What can I get you, gorgeous?"

"What's good to eat?" I ask politely.

"Our veggie burgers and chips or salad on the side are pretty good."

"I'll take that then," I tell her, my smile still on my lips as I watch her write down my order. She looks back to me with a smile on her face.

"Well, aren't you a sweetheart. I'll be back in a jiffy," she says through a soft laugh before winking at me. She puts her pen back into her hair before walking away. Wow, she's really nice. Usually it's guys talking to me like that. _I wonder if she talks to everyone like that?_ I think to myself, before the behavior on why she's acting that way finally sinks into my head.

_Oh._ So she swings _that_ way. Ha. That's awesome.

When Tanya comes back with my meal, she takes off her apron and sits down across from me.

"So how old are you, honey?" she asks just before I go to pop a chip into my mouth.

"Seventeen... You?"

"_Seventeen?"_ she asks, emphasizing the word. "What's a girl so young doing out so late? Don't you have school?" she asks me before adding. "Oh, and I'm nineteen."

"Uh, well. I'm not from here, so I kind of dropped out?" I tell her. Phrasing the last sentence as a question. She shakes her head before placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her palm.

"Where are you from?"

"Forks, Washington."

"Holy shit, you're more than "not from around here" She says through a laugh, making quotation marks with her fingers. "Well what made you come here?" she asks.

"Uhhh, it's a looooong story," I tell her, emphasizing 'long.'

"I have plenty of time," she says with a grin on her face.

"Don't you have to work?"

"Pfft, I'm on my break, and I'm not their slave, they can do it themselves for a bit. I'm needed right here, I can feel it in my bones,"

A laugh escapes me. I shake my head at her as I continue to eat the rest of my dinner. I get half way through the burger before I begin to tell her what's happened in my life so far.

"So when he told me he loved me, I kind of just lost it and freaked out. But I can't let myself get hurt again. I know I should have told him but I just needed to get out of that place. So here I am, in California. Over 1000 miles from home, pretty much homeless."

Tanya reaches across the table and takes my hand in hers. She reaches her other hand across the table as well and wipes my cheek. I didn't notice the tears falling down my face. I pull my hand out of hers and wipe at my eyes.

"Ergh, look at me. I'm a mess," I say through a sigh.

"Hey, it's alright. Never be ashamed of the feelings you have." She says quietly.

"Tanya?" she looks up at me. "Um, I don't know how to say this, but uh, I know you like girls, and I want you to know I have no problem with that at all." I give her a smile. She returns the action.

"You're a sweet girl, Bella."

"I don't feel like it right now," I say quietly.

"Do you love him?" she asks abruptly.

"Who, Edward?" She nods her head. "Yeah, I do. But my head, emotions and insecurities are just all overlapping and they've become a huge bunched up mess,"

She takes my hand in hers again. She waits for me to meet her gaze before she speaks again.

"Okay, look. I've been looking for a flat mate. I live not even a fifteen minute walk from here, and I'm sure Garrett can hook you up with a job here."

My eyes go wide at her generosity.

"Wow, that would be really great. But are you sure? Why would you offer all that to a stranger?" I ask quietly.

"Because I can tell that you need this time to get away from your shit, I can be a fresh personality for you. A new friend that you so desperately need. And it gets lonely living by yourself, trust me. And in all honesty, it's about time Garrett employed someone else, because I'm busting my ass off around here!" She says through a laugh. She releases my hand before standing up and wrapping her apron back around her torso.

"I have to get back to work, but I'll go talk to Garrett now. Can you wait around for a few more hours and then we can head off back to my place?" she asks before adding "Well _our _place now."

"No, that's fine. Thank you so much, Tanya. Really."

"Don't mention it. It'll be like having the little sister I never had!" she exclaims excitedly before turning around and heading back out to the kitchen.

She returns by my side after 9:30PM with a huge smile on her face.

"Garrett said he'd love to put you on. But he wants to know if you can bar tend as well, for like, Friday and Saturday nights when the pub side of the diner opens."

"Oh, yeah. That's no problem at all."

"Great!" she says excitedly before turning to the side and yelling out "She can do it, Gazza!"

A not so old guy comes out from around the back with a huge grin on his face.

"Can't wait to work with you, Bella!" he says while he waves to me.

"You too," I say through a chuckle.

"Alright, alright. Let's get home."

"I have my truck, so I can drive." I tell her as she weaves her arm through mine and leads us out of the front door.

"Thank god, because my feet are _killing_ me," she says through a groan.

* * *

"Have you seen much of the town?" she asks as she climbs into the passenger seat.

"Yeah, I was driving around before I came to your diner. The beach is _amazing."_

"Yeah, it is pretty amazeballs."

We both laugh hysterically at her comment. She directs me to her – _our_, apartment. I park my truck on the curb and grab one of my duffel bags. Tanya grabs the other one and leads me up to the front door. We're on the second floor.

The inside is like what they would show in the movies. Everything looks beautiful and all the surfaces are shining. The living room is absolutely gorgeous; there's a TV that's connected to the wall and a dark brown cabinet underneath, a bowl of fake fruit placed on top of it. There is a corner lounge that is the color of Plum, with a small brown oval-shaped coffee table in front of it, a vase of flowers placed on top. Underneath the table lays a retro circle-patterned rug that covers half of the floor. Straight ahead are glass doors that are framed by cream colored curtains. The doors lead to a balcony that holds a blue and green lounge with a pot plant sitting beside it. There is a barbeque and dining table off to the left of the balcony.

I follow Tanya back inside and she leads me to the kitchen. There is an island bench in the middle of the room with built-in cupboards on it. The top of the bench is glass stone with a built-in sink. To the left of the bench there's a stainless steel double door fridge with a microwave sitting beside it, and an array of jars for tea, sugar and coffee that sit in the corner. There are cupboards with glass doors above the kitchen bench that hold glasses, mugs, and other various appliances. The wall of the kitchen is also stainless steel with built-in down lights running along the top of it. There is an oven and stove installed in the middle of the bench with a range hood positioned above the stove. To the far right there's a tall and lean pantry cupboard - and let me just say this kitchen is fricken' huge and amazing and absolutely stunning. Esme would be in heaven.

Tanya walks me out to the living room. It's nothing huge or special, just a medium sized dining table that seats eight people with cream and maroon striped chairs. A vase of flowers sat on top of the table.

We walk down a hallway and she opens the door.

"This is the main bathroom," she says before stepping aside and letting me walk inside. I'm absolutely blown away.

It's the biggest bathroom I have ever seen in my life. There is a long stone marble bench with two thick white square sinks built on top of it and a half-length mirror in front of each sink. The floors are black wooden floorboards which turn into white marble where the bathtub and shower are situated. The shower has clear glass windows and is around three meters long and just over one meter wide.

"Alrighty, let me show you your room," Tanya says before grabbing my arm and leading me down the rest of the hallway. "This is your room and there's a bathroom in there too." She points to the far corner. "Well, I'll leave you to it. See you in the morning, Bella!" she shouts as she walks back down the way we came and towards her own room.

I stare in awe at my bedroom. It is, by far, one of the coolest bedrooms I have ever seen. It has a modern retro feel about it, and a blue, black and white color theme to go with it. Situated right in the middle of the room is a bed that is rather oddly made; it has black sheets that cover the entire mattress and a single white pillow placed in the middle. Running across the floor on each side of the bed is a type of bench that almost makes the bed look like its floating. Protruding out from underneath the corner of the bed is a black and blue rug that sits on top of some really nice shiny black floorboards. On the wall behind the bed sits a little four-part painting and a large rectangular window that gives me a great view of the town and the beach. Up against the far wall, to the right of the bed, is a white set of drawers and a mirror connected to the wall. Next to them is a hallway that no doubt leads to the bathroom. I venture across the bedroom and down the hallway.

The bathroom is beautiful. It's light and open, the colors giving it an air of old-fashioned, but the design giving it a twist of modern. To the left of the bathroom and underneath the window is an oval bathtub that has a brown marble edge around it – the bathtub looks deep, but that is the best way to have a bath these days, anyway. To my right is a rectangle shower that has walls that only consist of glass, giving the bathroom its "open" look. On the back wall are a towel rack and a vanity that has a floor-length mirror and the same bench-top design as the bathtub's edges.

I head back into my room and begin to unpack my stuff, placing my clothes into the cupboards. I pick up my bag of toiletries and carry them into the bathroom, along with my pajamas. I place the contents in their rightful draws before laying my pajamas on top of the counter. I hop into the shower, letting the hot water relax my muscles. It feels weird showering with all see through glass doors. _Maybe I should have locked the door?_ Surely Tanya wouldn't come in here if she heard the shower going. _Oh, god. But what if she does? _Jesus Christ, now i sound like a homophobic creep or something. It's not that I have anything against her being into girls or anything, it's just that I hardly even know her yet and if she sees me naked this early on in our friendship, I will be completely mortified!I quickly scrub myself down with the soap and rinse myself off quickly. Not wanting the scenarios in my head to come true at all. Once i dry myself and tye up my hair, I put on my pajamas and hang up my towel before going back into the room.

I'm completely exhausted, so I head out of my room and down towards Tanya's room to say goodnight. When I peak my head around her door I see that she's fallen asleep on top of her sheets. A smile forms on my lips at how peaceful she looks when she's sleeping. I tip toe quietly into her room and lift up her legs and torso, placing her underneath the sheets. I pull the sheets over her before tip toeing back out of her room and closing her door.

I poor myself a small glass of water before going back to my room. I pull out my phone charger, plug it into the power point and connect it to my phone. I turn my phone off though, just incase Edward or Alice are still trying to ring me. I know it's horrible what I've done, but I'm just not ready to face their messages yet. I crawl under the sheets and turn off the lamp before lying down and gazing up at the ceiling.

A few yawns escape me and before I know it, exhaustion overtakes me and sleep invades my mind.

* * *

**Well, I pretty much said everything up in the A/N... So if you didn't read it, scroll back up and read it! Again, I'm sorry for the late update. Follow me on twitter, twitter . com / natalee_x [Obviously take out the spaces] so you can find out if i'll be posting a chapter late again or something. If you do follow me, TWEET TO ME AND LET ME KNOW, say hi to me and tell me you read my fic. I want to talk to my readers :)**

**Natalee-x**


	23. Love is Pain

_**Chapter Thirty Three – **__(Love is Pain)_

**_EPOV_**

* * *

I've tried calling Bella all weekend but her phone just continues to go straight to voice mail. I leave her voice messages and send her texts, but I never get a reply. When Monday comes around, I remember everything that Esme and Jasper told me; that she may have just needed to get away for a few days. I try to stay positive as my eyes scan the school parking lot for Bella's truck. She's not here. I feel disappointment flood me as I park the Volvo. I rest my head on the steering wheel. There's a tap on my window and hope swells up inside my chest as I think that it could be Bella. I look up, my hope vanishing as soon as I see that it's Alice. I grab my bag off of the passenger seat, letting out a sigh before opening my door and climbing out.

"Hey," Alice greets me in her no- so-chipper voice.

"She isn't here." I say straight forwardly. Her face falls before she takes a shaky breath and lets it out slowly.

"I know,"

I run my hand down my face before walking around Alice and heading to class. I hear her running to catch up with me.

"Maybe she's running late." she says uncertainly.

I don't say a word. Instead I walk silently to my first class.

* * *

My first class went by in a blur. I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy checking my phone for messages from Bella. I make my way to biology, my hope slowly beginning to return. _Maybe Alice was right? Maybe she was just running late this morning and she'll be in biology._ I tell myself. I walk through the door to find our bench empty. There are only a few people in the class, so maybe she's still on her way.

The second warning bell rings, signalling that five minutes has passed. Mr. Banner makes his way into the room and closes the door behind him. He begins the lesson but my eyes don't leave the door, wishing to god that she will soon walk through it. Mr. Banner calls me to attention; it seems he's organised a partner lesson.

"Edward, where's Miss Swan today?"

"I don't know," I reply quietly.

"Is everything okay with her? I know she's been having trouble with some of the students,"

"I honestly don't know, sir. Sorry," I mumble.

"Trouble in paradise eh, Cullen?" Mike asks in a taunting voice.

"Try to go to the next level with her but she shot you down?" Tyler adds.

I turn around to glare at them. Their mouths turn up into smug smirks.

"Leave Mr Cullen alone you two." Mr Banner says.

I turn back around to face the front, but they continue to taunt me in hushed tones.

"Told you she was frigid." Tyler says.

"Did she dump your ass afterwards? Is that why she's not here?" Mike says through a chuckle.

I clench my hands into fists at my side, trying to keep myself from losing control. I feel breath on my neck as Tyler whispers in my ear.

"Maybe she's just not into you that way, maybe she wants some chocolate inside of her instead,"

I stand up abruptly and turn around to face him, my stool making a loud screeching noise along the floor. I'm sure I have the look of a murderer on my face because Tyler and Mike look like they're about to piss themselves.

"If you ever talk about her like that again I will bust your nuts!" I yell.

"Boys, stop this nuisance and sit down now!" Mr Banner scolds us. The fear is gone from their faces and replaced with a death stare.

"Oh, yeah? I'd like to see you try." Tyler taunts as if Mr Banner said nothing.

"It's not our fault she's a freak, dude. Calm down." Mike adds.

I leap around the stools at my bench and make my way around to them. I push Mike as hard as I can and grab the collar of his shirt in my hands, pushing him against the side of the bench.

"You don't know a fucking thing about her!"

I feel hands on me. I let go of Mike as Tyler pulls me off of him.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell as I shrug out of his grip. I turn around to face him and see him pull his arm up. I duck just in time as he throws a punch at me. My fist connects with his face before I charge at him, wrapping my arms around his waist as I tackle him to the ground. I hear the girls in the room scream as we nearly knock them off of their tools.

"Stop this right now!" Mr Banner yells.

Tyler throws punches at me. I block them and get a few shots in on his face.

Mike must try to join in because I hear Mr Banner say in a warning tone. "Don't even think about it Newton, stay right where you are."

Tyler continues to throw his fists at me, missing three times before clipping me on the side of my head. He takes that advantage to roll us over and sits on top of me.

"Get off me you fucking oaf!" I yell at him. I cover my face with my arms as he continues to throw punches at me. I punch him in the chest, winding him. Then I punch him in the face before pushing him off of me. Someone grabs my arm as I go to hit him again. My eyes go wide as I look around to see Mr Banner. He grabs my other arm and pulls me completely off of Tyler.

"Shit," I cuss under my breath. "Sorry, Sir." I mumble quietly. I look over at him and give him an apologetic look. He quirks his brow at me before giving me a stern look that says 'you aren't getting out of this at all' and looks back over at Tyler laying on the ground.

"Get up right now, Mr Crowley." Mr Banner says in a harsh tone. "Wait outside while I write up a note and send someone to take you to the principal's office."

"What? That's not fair, what about that dickhead?" Tyler says, pointing at me.

"Watch your language. I'll deal with him after you. Now go."

Tyler gets up off of the floor and makes his way outside.

"And don't disappear." Mr Banner adds in a warning tone as he makes his way back to his desk. He writes up a quick note before looking back up at the class.

"Katie?" he addresses her in a questioning tone, waving her forward with his hand. She groans in annoyance as she gets out of her seat. She glares at me when she walks past me to the front of the glass. Mr Banner quirks his brow at her before handing her the piece of paper. She takes it from him and sighs as she makes her way out of the room. Mr Banner looks over at me. I run my hands through my hair, expecting my punishment.

"You can go back to your seat, Edward. But I want you to stay behind after class so we can have a chat."

"Okay," I mumble.

Everyone's eyes are on me as I make my way back to my seat. Mike has a constant death stare on his face. He runs his finger across his throat, giving me a silent threat. I quirk my brow at him before flipping him off as I take my seat. I keep my eyes at the front of the class and try my best to pay attention. Mr Banner keeps his eyes on me throughout the lesson, a look of concern on his face every time he see's me checking my phone every ten minutes. The end of class bell rings and everyone rushes out of their seats as I stay seated like Mr Banner asked. He makes his way over to my desk.

"You know you have to go to the principal's office too, right?" He asks with a hint of amusement in his voice. I give him my crooked smile and nod my head.

"Now. What was all that about?" He asks.

"They were just saying horrible shi- stuff about Bella."

"Alright well, I'll organise for you to explain everything to the principal. I know Tyler was provoking you, so I'll put in a good word for you so you don't get in too much trouble."

"Thanks, sir."

"You're a good kid, Edward. You haven't given me any trouble since you moved here. Unlike Mike and Tyler," I give him a small smile. He smiles back before grabbing a stool and sitting in front of me before continuing. "Is everything okay with Bella?"

I run my hand over my face before letting out a sigh.

"I don't know."

"Do you know where she is?"

I shake my head. Not trusting my voice to speak.

"I know her father drinks a lot. Is she safe?" He asks with concern in his voice

"I'm pretty sure she's not in Forks anymore," I say quietly, the hurt clear in my voice.

He places his hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. He keeps it there until I look up and meet his gaze.

"Are you okay, son?"

I shrug my shoulders before answering. "I'll be fine,"

"Well, I hope everything works out. She's a great student, I'll miss her."

"Yeah, me too," I mumble.

He gives me a sympathetic look before standing and putting the stool back in its rightful place. He gives me a pat on the shoulder before walking out of the room.

* * *

During lunch the next day I can feel everyone's eyes on me: It didn't take long for the incident between Tyler and I to spread around the school. I skip getting food and walk straight to the table where my family is. I take my seat, keeping my eyes cast down, not wanting to look anyone in the eye. I hate being around people now, because all they do is ask me questions and constantly give me pep talks and tell me everything is going to be okay when it clearly isn't. It's like I can't even have company anymore, nobody can talk to me because I'll just end up snapping at them.

By the time lunch came around yesterday, everyone had already found out what happened with Tyler. They bombarded me with questions and scolded me about needing to control my anger. I can feel Alice and Rosalie's eyes on me, wanting so badly to speak to me about what happened again. Thankfully for me, they leave me be.

I still can't get over the fact that she's really gone. I keep expecting to get a text from her, or to see her in biology. Every day my disappointment becomes deeper and more potent. I wish I knew what was wrong with her to make her want to run away. I've never felt the way I do about her with anyone in my life. I always felt there was something missing inside of me until I met her. Now she's gone and I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what I did to mess it up. I feel like nothing is in front of me now. Some days I feel I can't even breathe, all I feel is agony. I told her I'd never leave, but now look what she's done? She left me instead. I never understood why guys in movies always turned into such emotional pussies when their girlfriend left them… And now I'm in the same boat as them. I guess you don't understand what they're going through until you experience it yourself.

The bell signals the end of lunch. I have Trig with Emmett now. I take a quick glance at him to see that he has a silent question in his eyes. I look at him expectantly; his expression changes into shock for a split second before he looks away from me and pecks Rosalie on the lips. I look away from them, pick up my bag and walk away. My own family don't know what to do with me anymore… It's not like I'd fucking yell at him for walking to class with me. I hear Emmett approaching me. I feel everyone's eyes on me as we walk down the hallway.

"You okay, bro?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah," I glance at him and see the concern in his eyes. That's not like Emmett. I give him a reassuring smile before looking away from him. He stays silent the rest of the way to class and throughout the lesson.

* * *

Today we have a conjoined gym lesson again. Coach has made the teams fair by mixing up the teams by putting girls and boys together. Everyone on my team, and the coach, have been getting pissed off at me because my head's just not in the game anymore. I used to be one of his best players and now I just don't even give a shit anymore. It's like I don't know where to go from here now, I'm so lost and it's fucking pathetic. I keep trying to fight through the way I'm feeling but every day I can't stop thinking about her. Does she miss me? Did she even care about me at all? What's she's doing now? Where is she? Is she safe? I wonder if she even knows how hard this is for me. _Why did this have to happen?_ I ask myself. It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't have to feel like this. Fucking hell, I never thought I'd feel this low in my life. I swear I'm all messed up inside now. It's like I'm fucking broken or something. _Argh, listen to me, I'm such a whingey bitch._

"For Christ's sake, Edward! Snap out of it and get your damn head in the game!" Rosalie yells, snapping me out of my thoughts. I look in her direction and narrow my eyes at her.

"Shut up, will you?"

"Edward." Jasper addresses me in a warning tone.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie says in an annoyed tone.

"You heard me." I say before rolling my eyes at her and flipping her off.

"You are such a rude bastard these days! Grow the fuck up and get over her already! Bella obviously doesn't give a shit about anyone but herself –"

"Don't talk about her like that!"

"Well, she's gone. She isn't coming back, so be a man and move on with your life because you're just bringing everyone else down!"

"Rose, stop it! What the hell are you trying to accomplish–" Jasper asks with shock in his voice before I cut him off.

"Fuck you! God, you're such a cold hearted bitch! No wonder everyone hates you!" I yell at her. My eyes go wide with shock as I realise what I just said.

I look over to Jasper to see his expression matches mine, which quickly turns into anger at what I said. He is related to her by blood, after all. I look over to Rose and see the fire in her eyes. She marches over to me and I know what's going to happen next.

"Rose. I'm so sorry." I whisper, before she slaps me in the face as hard as she can. My head snaps to the side and I leave it there. I hear the shocked intake of everyone's breath.

"Don't you _ever, _fucking talk to me like that again," she says, her voice laced with rage. I glance at her to see that her eyes are filled with unshed tears. She wipes at her eyes roughly before turning on her heel and walking out of the gym.

"That was beyond low, man." Jasper says before running out after her.

* * *

On Thursday, Lauren stops by my locker when I'm grabbing my books for my next class.

"Hey, Edward."

"Hi." I reply nonchalantly.

"The weathers such a drag today isn't it?"

I let out a sigh before closing my locker and facing her.

"You're seriously asking me about the weather?"

I see the blush rush into her cheeks. It's not nearly as cute when Bella blushes.

"I guess." She says quietly.

"Right."

"Well, what are you doing this weekend? A friend of mine is having a party. You wanna come?" she asks in her best 'sexy' tone.

"No thanks."

She closes the distance between us. Getting way to close for comfort. "Oh, come on. It'll be fun." She says way too sweetly before continuing. "I know you must be lonely these days,"

"I'm fine actually." I tell her pointedly.

She runs her finger down my chest. I clench my jaw in irritation. "Are you sure about that? Now that Bella's gone –"

"Don't." I say in a cold voice. Grabbing her wrist and practically throwing it away from me. "I will _never _feel the way I did with her with you."

She takes a step back in shock before narrowing her eyes at me.

"When are you going to get over her? She obviously didn't give a shit about you! God, did you even do anything with each other? Tyler told everyone she left because you tried to have sex with her and she freaked out and ran away."

I clench my fists at my side as I stalk towards her, trapping her against the locker. I slam my hands against the lockers, an arm on each side of her head. Our faces are inches from each other both of us breathing heavily. Me from anger – her from excitement. She smirks at me before pulling my face towards hers and roughly placing her lips against mine. I bite her lip after she runs her hands into my hair, causing her to pull away.

"Owe, did you just _bite_ me?" she exclaims.

"Don't touch me again. And don't _ever _talk about Bella like that again." I tell her in a cold voice.

"You seriously need to stop being such a pussy," she says in an annoyed voice before closing the distance between us again and placing her hands on my chest. "Let me please you, you'll feel much better," she adds in a disgustingly sultry voice. I grab her wrist and push her away from me.

"Did I not just say don't touch me?" I yell at her.

"You're such a fucking prick!" She screams before stalking towards me.

"Whoa, calm your fucking tits woman." Emmett says through a chuckle as he approaches us, causing Lauren to stop in her tracks.

"Excuse me?" she asks exasperatedly. He quirks his brow at her before placing his arm across my shoulders.

"What's going on here?" he asks.

"None of your business," she says.

"She's being way too touchy feely and can't seem to understand that I'm not interested in her _at all."_ I tell him in an annoyed tone.

"Why are you telling him? It's none of his business!" She says, her voice raising an octave.

"Well, it's my business is now," he replies with a smug smile on his lips. I chuckle beside him.

"You and your family are freaks," she spits the words at us.

"We sure are. We're freaks in the sack too. But I'll guess you'll never know what _that's_ like, will you?" He says, waggling his eyebrows at her.

She narrows her eyes at him before turning on her heel and walking away.

"You okay? She's a piece of work." he says through a chuckle.

"Yeah. Thanks, man."

"Don't mention it." He says before patting me on the back and walking away.

"Hey, Em?" I call out to him. He turns around. I look up at him to see his brow quirked.

"Just spit it out, Ed."

"Sorry about what I said to Rose." I mumble.

"It's not me you need to apologise to, bro." He gives me a sympathetic smile before walking away.

* * *

I'm late to English on Friday because I finally had my appointment with the principal. Mr Banner kept his word and put in a good word for me, keeping me out of too much trouble. He gave me a warning and said if I get into another fight like that then I'll get suspended.

I hand my note to Mr Berty before taking my seat. Mike is giving me his infamous death stare that always seems to be on his face when he sees me. Jasper gave me the cold shoulder and didn't speak to me until I apologised to Rose. I keep my eyes to the front of the class and put all of my attention on today's lesson, ignoring the snickering Mike is doing behind my back. He acts like such a fucking girl sometimes.

"So Lauren told us what happened yesterday." Mike says in a confident voice. I glance at him to see a smug smile on his lips. I roll my eyes at him before looking back to the front of the class.

"Maybe you're the frigid one and Bella left your sorry ass to find a real man," Mike says, laughing quietly to himself.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Something the principal told me to do when I felt the anger coming on.

"Why didn't you tell us you were a virgin?" he taunts. I spin around in my seat to face him.

"What? Who told you that?"

"Lauren."

"Right. coming from the lying bitch… who doesn't know how to handle being constantly rejected,"

"You haven't denied it," he says smugly.

"I'm not a virgin. Happy now?"

"Sure you're not," he mumbles.

Jasper raises his hand. I look over at him confusion clear on my face. He shakes his head slightly before Mr Berty notices him.

"What is it, Mr Whitlock?"

"Can Edward please be excused from the rest of the lesson?" Jasper asks in his kindest tone.

"And why's that?"

"With all due respect Sir, he's my brother and I know what he's like and if he stays in the same room as Mike, he's going to hurt him,"

Mike chuckles to himself behind us. Mr. Berty gives him a pointed look before turning his back to us.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Jasper."

He continues with the lesson and begins to write things up on the chalk board.

"Sorry, man. I tried." Jasper says quietly.

I take another deep breath, calming myself down.

"Don't worry about it. But If Mike says one more thing to me I am going to snap." I tell him in a whisper.

Low and behold. The moron opens his mouth again.

"Lauren also said you bit her lip. Like it rough do you?" he taunts.

"God, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I yell at him as I stand up out of my seat.

"Mr Cullen, sit down."

"Nothings wrong with me, you're the one with the problems, newbie." Mike yells back. Also standing up.

"Fuck you are such a smug little prick aren't you? Tell me something, do you have a girlfriend?"

"No. But just because I don't have a girlfriend doesn't mean I don't get chicks." He says defensively.

"Well, let me tell you something. You don't have a girlfriend because you're a disgusting pig who treats girls like a piece of trash. No woman is going to want you after you've fucked a million girls,"

"Watch what you say, asshole." He says through clenched teeth.

"Oh, I've hit a nerve, have I? Do you use protection, Mike? Have you been checked for an STD? I'm sure you have some sort of disease with all the girls you apparently sleep with." I feel the smile turn up on my lips. He narrows his eyes at me before lunging for me. I push him off of me. I go to hit Mike back but Jasper grabs my arm and pulls me away from him.

"Calm down, man. You can't get into another fight." He says in a hushed tone.

"Let him go, I can take him." Mike taunts as I continue to struggle in Jasper's arms, trying to get my hands on Mike.

"That's enough, Mike!" Mr Berty says in a stern tone. I stop struggling against Jasper and take a deep breath to get myself under control.

"I need to get the fuck out of here," I tell Jasper honestly. My tone hushed so only he can hear.

"Get out of here before you get expelled," he says quietly. He releases me and I can't stop myself from lunging for Mike.

"Edward, stop!" Mr. Berty yells.

Jasper grabs a hold of me and pushes me again and pushes me towards the door. I storm out of the room, leaving my bag behind.

The last thing I hear is Jasper saying "I told you he needed to leave,"

* * *

I head towards the schools work out gym. I go straight to the punching bags to let off some steam. Picturing it as Mike's head. I throw in a few kicks and knee it a few times too. I don't know how long I'm in there, but by the time I hear the door opening, my shirt is covered in sweat and I'm exhausted.

"There you are!" Alice says.

"How'd you find me?"

"Jasper messaged me,"

"Of course he fucking did. Why can't everyone just leave me alone?" I look at her as she makes her way over to me, my bag in her hands. Great, now I feel bad.

"Edward, we're just worried about you." She says quietly.

"Well don't be. I'm fine."

"No you're not. You've changed…"

"I have not changed."

"Yes you have. You're angry all the time – you're always getting into fights. And you're really mean. What you said to Rose was horrible," she says quietly, hurt clear in her voice.

"I already apologised for that," I mumble.

"Why won't you talk to me? What's wrong?"

"What do you think is wrong, Alice?" I yell exasperatedly.

"Right. Bella. Look, I know you're hurting, but–"

"Alice, don't." I say pointedly, cutting her off.

"No. You keep lashing out at everyone when they haven't done anything wrong–"

"Alice, please. Just stop! I don't want to be lectured right now!"

"I don't care. You aren't the only one who lost her! She was my best friend, Edward. I miss her too, but you need to move on." She yells. Her voice cracking halfway through the sentence with tears welling up in her eyes

"I can't. Everything hurts. I know I sound like a pussy right now, but I love her, Alice. I finally found someone and she left me,"

"You may see her again one day. But for now, you just need to move on. If you keep holding on, it'll just make everything worse for you." She says softly.

"I've never felt this much pain in my life. Not since my mother died. I don't want to let go of her, Ali." My voice gets stuck in my throat, unable to continue speaking.

I feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes as my chest constricts, a sob escaping me. Alice closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around my waist as she begins to cry as well. I pull us onto the gym floor and she removes her arms from around my waist, instead wrapping them around my neck. I place my arms around her waist and hold her close to me as she sits on my lap and cries into my chest. Sobs continue to escape from me as I press my face into the crook of her neck. I rub circles on her back as she runs her hands through my hair. I get my sobbing under control and begin to breathe slowly.

"I hate this," I tell her. My voice muffled by her neck.

"M-me too." She says through a sob before asking. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

"Yeah, okay. Wait, what about my car?" I ask hesitantly.

"Jazz will drive it home. Your keys were in your bag. I already gave them to him," she says sheepishly. A hiccup escapes her lips, causing me to laugh lightly. I give her a light smile before standing and pulling her to her feet. She wraps her arm around my back as we walk out of the gym and towards the school parking lot.

The ride home is a quiet one. But not filled with any tension or awkwardness. That's the great thing about Alice. I never feel uncomfortable or embarrassed around her. When we arrive home, I kiss her on the cheek before heading inside.

I have a shower and lay on my bed with my iPod in my ears. I don't know how long I lay there for, but it must have been hours because by the time Esme comes up, she tells me it's time for dinner. I slowly make my way downstairs. Everyone's eyes are on me when I make my way to the table. They all begin to have small conversations around me as I pick at my food, which I think upsets Esme a bit – but I just have no appetite lately. I guess that's what happens when you get your heart broken. Nothing wants to function anymore. You just want to sleep and never wake up. I excuse myself and go back up to my room. Jasper comes up but doesn't say anything to disturb me. He just gives me a small smile before chucking my car keys on my bed then leaves.

Alice comes into my room and crawls onto my bed and lays on top of me. I place my hands on her back and give her a light hug, knowing she'll stay laying on top of me until I responded to her. I feel her smile against my chest. She looks up at me and places a kiss on the top of my forehead. I kiss her on the cheek before she gets off of the bed and walks away. She turns around when she gets to my door.

"Night, Eddie." She says softly.

"Night, Alicat." She smiles at me softly before leaving the room.

I glance at my radio clock to see that it's 10:30PM. Time flies when you're not paying attention to it. I notice my phone on my bedside table and lean over to pick it up. I lay down on my back and flip through my messages. Still nothing from Bella. I check my voicemail. Nothing from her there either. I decide to ring her and it goes straight to voicemail again.

_Hi, you've reached Bella. Sorry I can't get to the phone right now. Just leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._

I continue to ring her number and listen to her voicemail over and over again. Her voice is the last thing I hear before exhaustion overtakes me and I finally fall asleep.

* * *

_Hey everyone! Sorry about the posts being a bit over the place. I have been super busy over the past few weeks, and so have my Betas **MyHeartOfMusic** and **Jenndur.** This chapter is all about how Edward is feeling about Bella running away._

_ Just to give you guys a heads up, the next chapter is going to be **VERY** long. So, it may be late, because my Beta's don't have superpowers, they can only do so much at a time. **BUT THEY ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE THEM.**_

___Thank you all for your support, and thank you to my readers who have now started following me on **Twitter!** You know who you are. Thank you to everyone who have **reviewed** and added this story to their** alerts** and **favorites**. It means the world to me._**  
**

_**Natalee-x**_


	24. New Life

_**A/N: **__Below are links to pictures of Kate's house and the outfits Bella and Tanya wear in this chapter. Don't forget to remove the spaces. There is also the list of songs that are mentioned in this chapter. _

_**This is my Tanya; **http : / i52 . tinypic . com / 20u2wx0 . jpg - Candice Accola, who plays Caroline in The Vampire Diaries.__ I love her._

_**Bella's swimsuit: **_http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 32zi8f7 . jpg  
_**Bella's Outfit: **_http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2zg5ath . jpg  
_**Tanya's Swimsuit: **_http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 2d6tzf9 . jpg  
_**Tanya's Outfit: **_http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 2ld840p . jpg_**  
Bella's performance outfit: **_http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 242d409 . jpg

_**Kate's Cottage: **_http : / i51 . tinypic . com / b4j2fp . jpg_**  
Kate's Living Room: **_http : / i55 . tinypic . com / igx27k . jpg_**  
Kate's Dining Room: **_http : / i55 . tinypic . com / wlzn0l . jpg_**  
Kate's Kitchen: **_http : / i55 . tinypic . com / oata8k . jpg

**Songs:  
**Teenage Dream – **Katy Perry**.  
My Immortal **– Evanescence.  
** Cosmic Love – **Florence & The Machine.  
** A little bit longer **– Sarah Evans. **_(I made the tempo of this song faster than it originally is – here's the link to download it; __**http : / www . sendspace . com / file / r26msa** )_

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty Four **__– (New life)_

_**BPOV**_

It's been a week since my first day of work at the Diner. Tanya wasn't kidding about having to work ridiculously early hours sometimes. I didn't know what the hell was happening when she jumped on top of me this morning while I was still asleep. She almost gave me a damn heart attack. I groan in annoyance when she doesn't move and applies all of her weight on top of me.

"God, Tanya. Get off of me, you beast!" I whine. She giggles into the covers before looking up at me.

"I love that you're not a morning person, It's so much fun to torment you," she says, a smirk plastered on her face.

"I'm glad I amuse you," I mumble before narrowing my eyes at her, causing her to start laughing again before she says,

"I made you a coffee. It's on the bedside table."

"Good. I need some caffeine after that," I say before pushing her off of me and crawling out of bed. I glance over at Tanya to see her climbing off of my bed with a grin on her face. A smile automatically forms on my lips as I think about how close we've come within a week.

"I should take that coffee from you for calling me a beast," she says as she makes her towards me, a serious expression on her face. I back away from her with a horrified look on my face.

"Don't you even dare think about taking this from me, Tanya. I won't be able to control my impulses to hurt you."

"Pfft, what are you gonna do? Call me more names?"

"You know I can defend myself if I have to."

"That I do, you psycho," she says through a laugh. My face falls at the statement as it brings back all of my bad memories with Lauren and Jessica back in Forks. She seems to realize this as she takes in my expression and abruptly stops laughing.

"Shit. Sorry, Bells. I didn't mean it like that, I swear."

"I know," I reply quietly, looking up at her and giving her a small smile before adding, "Just brought up bad memories."

"Sorry," she apologizes again.

"It's okay, honestly. Let's go eat some breakfast," I reassure her before linking her arm with mine and leading us to the kitchen.

We both decide on having Cheerios for breakfast. Tanya makes another coffee for herself, but I ask for a cup of tea instead.

"Ergh, why do we have to go into work so early anyway? No one ever comes in until after nine," I complain.

"You know we have to help Gazza set up, B. He can't do it all himself."

"I know, I just hate being up this early. It isn't human."

"No, you're just lazy," she says through a laugh. I flip her off and she pokes her tongue out at me in return.

"Alright, hurry up and go get dressed so we can get going."

"Fineeee," I say through a sigh before climbing off of the stool and heading back into my room.

I have a quick shower before getting dressed into my work shirt and black high wasted skirt. I pin on my name badge before beginning on my hair. I grab my fringe with more of the hair from the sides of my face, braiding it and then pulling it to the back of my head and pinning it in place. I do the same with the other hair on the side of my head before running my hands through the rest of my hair. I throw on some eyeliner and mascara before putting on a bit of lip gloss. I pick up my phone from my bedside table and put it in my handbag, along with my lip-gloss. I put on my black and white converse before meeting Tanya back in the lounge room.

"Ready?"

"Yep. Do you have my keys?" I ask.

"Yeah, here," she says before throwing them to me.

I walk out of the apartment with Tanya following behind me.

* * *

Garrett is sitting at the front desk when Tanya and I walk into the Diner. He looks up and smiles at us as we enter. He jumps off and hands us our aprons.

"Hey, girls. How are we this fine morning?" He asks. _Over _chipper for someone who's been up since 6:00AM. Weirdo.

"_How _are you so cheerful at this hour?"

"I keep forgetting you're only seventeen."

"Whatever, it's not normal."

I quirk my brow at him causing him to roll his eyes at me, a smile forming on his face before walking away from us and into the kitchen. Tanya is snickering beside me so I give her my pretend bitch face before walking into the storeroom and grabbing a few trays and placing the knives and forks on them along with the salt and pepper shakers. I pick up a tray and head back out to the floor and begin placing them on all the tables. Tanya organizes the music system and then gets all the menus ready. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry comes on over the speakers causing a smile to form on my lips. Tanya turns up the volume; I glance over to see her walking out of the back room with a huge smile on her face. This is pretty much our jam. We always crank up the volume when it comes onto the radio in my truck. My body automatically begins to bop to the beat of the song. I see Tanya come out from behind the desk, she begins to walk towards me so I pick up a salt shaker and turn to face her as the chorus comes around for the second time. We begin to belt out the chorus together, making over exaggerated gestures with our arms and pointing to each other as we sing.

"_My. Heart. Stops, when you look at me. Just. One. Touch, now baby I believe." _We sing in unison with huge smiles on our faces._ "So take a chance and don't ever look back. Don't ever look back!"_

"_I'mma get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans, be your teenage dream tonight." _I laugh softly at her as she runs her hands across her body as she continues to sing the rest of the bridge. I swear it's her favorite part of the song. She has a really nice voice though. We close the distance between us and hold hands as the chorus comes around for the third time.

"_Youuuuuu, make mee,"_ I belt out the high note with everything I can muster as she remains singing the rest of the song. She has a huge grin on her face and begins to jump around with excitement, her hands still in mine. I join her in the fun as we carry on with the rest of the song together. When the next song doesn't come on we look over to the back storage door with confusion on our faces. I notice Garrett standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a huge grin on his face.

"Man, you girls can sing. Especially you, Bella."

"Thanks," Tanya and I reply together. We look at each other and laugh quietly.

"I can't sing as good as her though, Gazza. You're crazy if you think otherwise. This girl has a gift."

I blush at the compliment. I look at Tanya to see her smiling down at me.

"Bella, how do you feel about singing during the bar nights? During your hours, of course, so you'll be getting paid for it."

"Oh, really? Wow. I'm a bit self conscious about singing in front of a lot of people though…"

"You were just jumping around with me, belting out the high notes with pride. Just do it, woman!" Tanya encourages me excitedly.

"But that was just you with Garrett out the back. I've never sang in front of a crowd before. I'll be a nervous wreck!"

"Okay, well if you're that self conscious about it, I know a lovely lady who can give you voice coaching lessons. On the house."

I bite my bottom lip as they both look at me expectantly. I feel the smile form on my lips before I answer, "Okay, sure."

"Awesome! You're gonna break the house down," Garrett booms confidently.

Tanya puts her hand up for a high five, and I slap my hand against hers just before our first customers walk through the door. Tanya turns and walks over to greet them while I set up the rest of the tables.

* * *

On Wednesday, Garrett decides to close the Diner so we can all have a day off and go down to the beach. I put on my black bathing suit that is cut open on the sides. I wear my dark blue denim short shorts with a loose white shirt that has New York printed on it over the top of my swimsuit. Tanya wears her light blue denim shorts, a thin black studded belt and loose black long sleeved button up shirt over the top of her bright red bikini.

I make up some salad and ham bread rolls while Tanya organizes the drinks, sunscreen and towels. I back up all the food into a picnic basket just as Tanya walks back into the room.

"Garrett is meeting us there so he doesn't have to try to squeeze into the middle of your truck."

"Typical," I reply through a laugh before adding, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yep. How's the food organizing going?"

"I just made salad bread rolls. That's gonna be okay, right?" I ask uncertainly.

"Yeah that's gonna be fine, don't stress. If he doesn't like it, he can go _buy _his own food."

I give her a grateful smile before picking up my keys and picnic basket and heading for the front door. I hear my phone beep; I take it out of my pocket and sigh at what it says on the screen. _**One new voice mail message – Edward.**_I listen to all of the messages Edward ever leaves for me, along with Alice's and Rosalie's. Even Jasper and Emmett have given it a try. I open the message to hear Edward begging me to call him back or to actually pick up the phone when he calls. I always imagine what I would say to him if I ever did pick up when he called or if I ever did call him back. It's always so good to hear his voice, so smooth and soft like velvet; it instantly calms me and puts me at ease for some reason. I really hope he's doing okay and that I didn't hurt him too much. _I wonder if he ever thinks about me?_ I ask myself. _Does he think I'm perfectly fine or does he know how lonely I get without him sometimes?_ Even with Tanya and Garrett here to keep me company. Time sometimes just slips right past me and I get caught up in the moment of wishing I didn't have to listen to his voice through a cell phone and that I could just have him by my side. I wish that I could tell him how much I miss him and how much I really need him. As the message goes on, my heart constricts at hearing the sadness in his voice. I can hear the hope in his voice disappearing with each sentence. I really hope he doesn't think I've moved onto somebody else because no one could ever take his place in my heart.

"You okay?" Tanya asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I look at her to see the concern clear in her eyes. "Is it from Edward again? Why don't you call him back? You miss him, I can tell," she adds.

"I can't do that. I haven't sorted everything out yet."

"What's there to sort out? You love him, you miss him, and you want him. So call him."

"It's not that simple, Tanya! What if I end up wanting to go back to Forks?"

"I'd understand," she says quietly.

I run my hand over my face as a frustrated sigh escapes my lips. "I can't just leave you like that. you've become one of my best friends."

"They were your friends first, B. You can't just forget about them–"

"No, don't," I say pointedly, cutting her off before adding, "I'm not discussing this anymore."

I put my phone back in my pocket before walking down to my truck.

* * *

"Ahhh, put me down!" I squeal as Garrett throws me over his shoulder and runs towards the water.

"Chuck her in, Gazza!" Tanya yells.

"Oh my god, don't you dare listen to her!" I yell.

I look up to see Tanya running down after us with a huge, amused grin on her face. I flip her off as I continue to laugh and yell at Garrett to let me go. He must be as clumsy as me because he falls straight forward, his arms still around me as we hit the water. I fall backwards and a small wave crashes into my back just as I sit up.

"I hate you!" I yell through a laugh before pouncing on him.

I hear Tanya yell "Stacks onnnn!" before I feel her body pounce on top of mine and Garrett's. Another wave comes forward and clatters over us, causing Tanya and I to fall off of Garrett and our bodies get tangled together.

"Fucking hell, you girls are such oafs sometimes!" Garrett booms through laughter.

"Oi! – Hey!" Tanya and I scold him at the same time before jumping back on top of him.

Once we finish having our fun in the water, we make our way back to our stuff. There are so many guys staring at Tanya and I.

"Sorry boys, I don't bat on your team!" She yells at the overly obvious lurkers as well as giving them a sickly sweet smile, causing Garrett and I to crack up with laughter at their responding expressions. Once we sit down and finish our laughing session, we gorge down our salad rolls and drinks.

I can't seem to get my mind off of Edward. I'm trying to live without him, but everything just seems to remind me of him. Every time I see the color green, all I can think about is his beautiful eyes. When I watch movies and I see the lead male smirk, all I think about is Edward's intoxicating crooked smile and how it always used to get my heart to beat erratically. Even this one time when Tanya was stressing out over work and she was pulling on her hair, it reminded me of when Edward would get frustrated and run his hands through his hair, gripping it so tightly to the extent that it looked like he was going to rip it out.

I can't seem to get over feeling so torn and empty. Since I've been here, I've been going out onto the balcony every night. I gaze up at the moon, wondering if he's doing the same thing. Just the thought that he's looking at the same sky as me is comforting sometimes. I don't know why I left him – he was the best thing that ever happened to me, but everything just felt way too good to be true. I thought everything was fine with my family when I was younger, but my mother ended up abandoning me. She told me she loved me everyday. She said she would never leave me, but she did. So when Edward made that next step, I just freaked out.

I can't help but think that it was the wrong decision to just pack up my stuff and leave. Charlie's probably dead by now for being so lazy, unless Harry is looking after him and making sure he's okay. I hope he is. As much as I hate him sometimes, I don't want him to die – I know he's hurting over Mom too. Argh! I just don't know what to do anymore. I messed everything up and I highly doubt anything will ever be the same again. I'd give anything to go back in time and change the past, but I can't. Which just sucks donkeys balls.

I can feel Tanya watching me closely throughout the whole day. I know I shouldn't have snapped at her but I can't bare the thought of losing someone else. She says she'd understand, but I'd just be doing what I did to Edward and the rest of the Cullen's. The only difference is that she would know why I left.

"Earth to Bellaaaa." Garrett pulls me out of my haunting thoughts.

"Sorry. What?"

"God, are you deaf or something?" he asks through a snort. I roll my eyes and look at him expectantly. "I organized a voice lesson for you this afternoon with Kate," he adds.

"I get to know her name now, do I?" I joke.

"Smartass. Is that alright though? It's at four."

"Yeah, that's cool. Thanks, Gazza." I give him a thankful smile before looking over at Tanya.

"Do you wanna come with me, Tan?"

"Yeah, sure. Kate's a blast to be around," she says sarcastically.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," I say, disappointment clear in my voice.

"Tanya, don't be a bitch."

"I'm not! I was only kidding…"

"Sure you were," Garrett continues to scold her.

I look at my watch and see that it's nearly 3 o'clock.

"Well we should probably get going then. I wanna have a shower before going."

"Yeah, me too," Tanya says quickly before Garrett can continue to put his two cents worth of comments in. It doesn't faze him though, because he continues to tease her anyway.

"You know where she lives right, Tanya?" Garrett asks with a smirk on his face.

"Shut up."

"What?" I ask confused.

"Tanya and Kate were lovers for a night," he says through a snort. I look over at Tanya to see her eyes narrowed at him.

"Oh. Why only for a night?"

"Kate is straight. She's actually my fiancée." Tanya groans in annoyance which causes Garrett to burst into hysteric laughter.

"Screw you, Garrett," she mumbles before picking up her towel and walking away. I go to pick up the picnic basket, but Garrett stops me.

"Don't worry about that, B. I'll bring it into work tomorrow and give it to Tanya. You have tomorrow off too, by the way. Rest your voice for Friday night."

I look down at him as he pats my hand. He's so sweet. He's like a big brother to me now. I couldn't stand leaving him too.

"Thanks, Garrett. For everything," I say quietly.

"No problem, sweetie. Now go have some fun singing." I smile softly at him before picking up my towel and walking away.

* * *

"Were you in love with her?" I ask Tanya as we make our way over to Kate's. She leans forward and turns off the radio before she answers me.

"Who?" she asks confused.

"Kate."

"What? No. What makes you say that?" she asks shocked.

"Just the way you were acting back at the beach."

"Bella, I was joking." I glance over at her out of the corner of my eyes. She quirks her brow and looks at me expectantly.

"Well you just seemed hurt by some of the things Garrett was saying –"

"He was joking too..." She pinches the bridge of her nose and leans back further into her seat. I glance back over at her. Her eyes meet mine and she rolls them at me before sighing and adding, "What happened between Kate and I was just a night of fun. Nothing more, nothing less. Garrett is like a brother to me. So it's just weird that they ended up hooking up and are now getting _married._"

"Are you not happy for them?"

"Of course I am; they're perfect for each other, it's just awkward whenever I'm around Kate."

"Well it would be after you guys, uh…" I glance over at her, giving her an embarrassed smile. She shakes her head at me before a smile forms on her lips and she begins to laugh.

"Kate is a great person. You'll love her. And I'm sure I'll get over the awkwardness one day, so don't stress it. I'll be fine."

I breathe a sigh of relief and nod my head as a small smile forms on my lips. She winks at me and gives me a thumbs up before turning the radio back on.

* * *

Kate lives in a medium sized cottage that looks like it belongs in a fairytale. It's a rectangular shape that is different shades of grey brick and cream fibro with a triangle roof where I assume the upstairs bedrooms would be placed. There are several sash and bow windows, creating a beautifully crafted open living system. There are red steps leading up to the front door, two pot plants placed on each side of the door. There is a small garden on both sides of the stairs, filled with yellow flowers and small green bushes that contain flowers that have not yet bloomed. The garden also surrounds the rest of the front of the house. Four pine trees are planted on both sides of the yard, two on each side with the same flowers that are along the front of the house.

I pull up to the curb and park my truck. I turn off the ignition, leaving my hands on the wheel as I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before looking over at Tanya. She gives me an encouraging smile before unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out. She meets me on my side of the truck just as I open my door and get out.

"What if she doesn't like my voice?" I ask Tanya nervously.

"Don't be ridiculous, your voice is amazing. If anything, she'll probably become filled with so much jealousy and refuse to give you more pointers."

My eyes go wide, causing her to laugh lightly to herself.

"Relax, B. I'm only kidding. You'll be fine, stop stressing!" She lays her arm across my shoulders and pulls me into to her side, hugging me tight before winding her arm through mine and leading us across the lawn and up the stairs. Tanya knocks on the door and when I hear footsteps on the other side, I begin to look at Tanya nervously. She rolls her eyes at me. Bitch.

Kate open the door with a wide smile on her face. "Hey girls!" she exclaims excitedly.

"Hey," Tanya and I greet her in unison. I notice that Tanya's eyes are directed towards the ground and she hasn't yet made eye contact with Kate.

"Haven't seen you in a while, Tan. I've missed you," Kate addresses Tanya, a hint of sadness in her voice causing Tanya to finally meet her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry. Been super busy at work and all that. Thank god Bella came along though, otherwise I would have had no life forever." She gives Kate a small smile in which Kate returns.

"Well come on in, lets get started."

I follow behind Tanya as she walks into the house. To the right is a white bench which allows you to look into the dining room. As we turn around the corner, I notice the floors are wooden floorboards and the walls are a light olive green color. There is a staircase to the left of us. We walk around to the right where you see that the dining room is an open room that is conjoined with the kitchen and living room. We walk through the dining room first. The table is a shiny timber which matches the floor. It seats six people and there are two fake pears placed on top of it. To the right I notice the white bench is actually built in with an array of cupboards. In the left corner, one of the cupboards travels up towards the roof. There are a series of glasses and sets of china placed inside them.

The next thing I take in is the kitchen. There is a white island bench in the middle of the room with built-in cupboards on each side of it, which have glass doors and escalates a few centimeters in height. A bowl of fruit is placed on top of set bench with an array of plates, bowls and mugs placed inside it. The top of the middle bench is dark brown glass stone, a built in sink on the other side of it. There are two black chair stools placed before the bench, a floral rectangle rug lays before them atop of the floor boards. To the left there's a stainless steel double door fridge. There are light olive green wooden cupboards to the left and right sides above the kitchen bench which matches the colour scheme of her walls. A double door window is placed between the top cupboards and an oven is installed to the right of the bench with a microwave positioned above it. It's beautiful.

The living room is that last room. A landscape painting hangs on the wall above the wide gas fireplace, which has built in wooden cabinets that are conjoined to open shelves with a series of books and DVD's placed in them. Two dark brown leather couches sit in front of a three length sash window; a small table is positioned between the couches with a lamp and small photo frame placed on top of it. To the right is a mustard colored lounge with matching cushions placed on top along with a floral printed pillow. A matching recliner is located to the left of the room. There is a glass coffee table which is located in the middle of the room, a basket of flowers on top of it. A cream rug is situated under the table and pans out across the floor.

"Wow Kate, your house is so beautiful. It's got a sort of olden day theme to it," I tell her in awe.

"Oh that's exactly what I was aiming for. I'm glad you like it!"

"You should have seen her trying to design it – she was like a mad woman."

"Hey, now. I can't help being a perfectionist."

"Don't I know it," Tanya mumbles. I look between them to see they both have playful smiles on their faces. Looks like Tanya's awkwardness is finally beginning to fade away. A smile forms on my lips at their bantering.

"Anyway, do you guys want a cup of tea before we start?" she asks as she walks into the kitchen.

"Yeah, thanks. That'd be great."

"No thanks, I'm good," Tanya says politely.

"How many sugars, Bella?"

"Just two, thanks."

She walks over to her cupboards and pulls out two mugs. She puts the kettle on, and then goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk. She places it on the counter before grabbing the teabags out of one of the jars. She puts the sugars in and then turns back around to face us, her back leaning against the counter.

"So have you thought about what you want to work on during these lessons?"

"Garrett just organized you to work with her because she's self conscious about singing during bar nights." I glance at Tanya to see her rolling her eyes.

"I just haven't sang in front of a crowed before." I narrow my eyes at her before looking back to Kate. She purses her lips, trying to hide her smile.

"Gaz was telling me about that. He said you have a pretty amazing voice–"

"She does," Tanya says cutting her off. I blush at the compliment and bite my bottom lip.

"I wouldn't say it's amazing," I reply quietly.

"I'll be the judge of that," Kate says with a smirk. The kettle pops, signaling that it's ready. Kate turns back around and pours in the hot water, dunking the tea strings up and down before putting the milk in. She stirs the tea with a spoon and leaves the teabags inside. She places my tea in front of me and smiles before walking around to us.

"Alright, let's head into the living room so we can get started."

Tanya and I follow after her into the living room. She places two coasters on top of the coffee table and places her tea on top of one of them. I place my cup on top of the other one before sitting down on the sofa next to Tanya.

"What song to do you want to sing?" Kate asks.

"I was thinking of My Immortal by Evanescence?" I tell her, stating the sentence as a question.

"Sounds great. I'll go get the instrumental track."

She turns and walks out of the room. She returns within a few minutes. She puts the cd into the player. I look around the room and notice she has surround sound speakers. The piano begins to play and I take a few deep breaths before I begin to sing. I start off singing so quietly that I can hardly hear myself. I play with the hem of my sleeves and look down at the ground. My voice automatically becomes louder as I enter the chorus.

"_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears. When you would scream, I'd fight away all of your fears."_ I make my voice go a bit higher and linger on certain words. _"But you still have, all of me."_

I glance at Tanya and then Kate, smiling at them nervously before i continue into the second verse, focusing on my diaphragm, making my voice become louder with each sentence of the song. I pull up all the energy I can before I begin the chorus for the second time. I glance at Tanya to see she has a huge smile on her face. I look over to Kate to see her expression matches Tanya's. A soft sigh escapes my lips before I prepare for the vitality that's needed to sing the verse before the last chorus.

"_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone…" _I force my voice to go higher as I reach the end of the sentence. _ "But though you're still with me, I've been alone all aloooong." _A smile forms on my lips as I hit the high note perfectly. I let out long breath before continuing the rest of the song.

When the track finishes, I glance between Tanya and Kate, waiting for them to say something. I begin to fidget with my sleeves again before Kate finally says something.

"Wow."

"Right? Told you she was amazing."

"Bella, you have a serious gift. You don't need my help, so what are you worried about?" Kate praises me. I smile at her before shrugging my shoulders.

"I don't know. Nothing apparently, but I'd like to keep coming to the lessons though."

"Oh of course you can. We can probably work on your stage presence and organize set lists for you to perform."

"I'm down with that."

"Maybe you guys could even write up some of your own songs and compose some melodies together," Tanya adds.

"That's a fantastic idea, Tan!" Kate exclaims before turning to me and adding, "What do you think, Bella?"

"Sounds great," I say with a smile on my face. I glance at Tanya and she gives me a thumbs up.

"Do you want to work on your set list now? You start on Friday, don't you?" Kate asks.

"Uh, yeah."

"I'll go grab some paper and pens," Tanya says before standing up and walking into the dining room.

"Do you have any songs you're set on singing?"

"I was thinking of _Cosmic Love_ by Florence and the Machine and _A Little bit Stronger _by Sara Evans."

Tanya comes back into the room and hands us each a pen and small pad of paper.

"They're both amazing. And what about _Someone Like You_ by Adele?"

"Man, you have to do that song, Bella. You would _nail _it," Tanya adds

"Yeah, I'll do that song. But do you think Garrett will be okay if I just start out with only two songs my first night?"

"Oh, he'll be fine with that, honey."

"Yeah, he'll want to make sure you're comfortable," Tanya says matter-of-factly. Kate takes a sip of her tea before writing down the songs for Friday night and turning over a new page.

"So we'll add _Someone Like You_ to a later set list then?" she asks. I nod my head and smile at her.

"We should make her second performance slow songs. Show of her talent," Tanya says before giving me a smile.

"Got any other song ideas?" Kate asks.

"_Need,"_ I say straight away before adding, "I'll do _Need _by Hana Pestle."

"Yessssssss," Tanya says while nodding her head vigorously. Kate nods her head with a smile on her face as well before writing down the two songs.

We continue to organize a few more songs for me to sing, switching up the genre's of songs and artists. Tanya and I spend a few hours at Kate's before realizing the time and heading home. Tanya chats my ear off on the way back home. Gushing about how great it's going to be to see me up on the stage singing my heart out. She makes me laugh a few times about how she keeps bragging abut how amazing it's going to be. Then she got even more excited when I asked if I should have a few musicians up there with me, and she said she'd love to play the piano and guitar for me a few times and she knows some people who play the drums and guitar. She rang Garrett instantly and squealed in excitement when he agreed that it was a good idea.

When we arrive home, I drag myself up the stairs and jump in the shower. Tanya and I have a cup of tea before we both call it a night and go to bed. I pull my phone out of my bag and listen to my voice mails again. I feel the tears form in my eyes before they spill down my face. I can't take getting all these messages anymore. I ring up my phone company, praying to God that they'll still be open. Luck must be with me because someone picks up. I ask them if I can disconnect my number. They ask for my number and I give it to them. The man said it should be done by tomorrow afternoon. I ask what will happen if someone continues to ring me. My heart sinks when he tells me an automatic message will play, saying that the number is now disconnected and no longer in use. That's going to kill Edward. _Why am I such a horrible person? _

I lay down in bed and pull the covers up over me as a sob escapes me. I silently cry myself to sleep.

* * *

"Argh, what am I supposed to wear anyway?" I exclaim, digging through my draws and throwing piles of clothes everywhere. I am filled with nerves about singing in front of everyone tonight. The diner gets pretty busy during Friday nights when it's turned into a bar, so my anxiety has sky rocketed.

"Would you calm down?" Tanya says as she walks into my room. Her eyes go wide as she takes in my clothes strewn all over the room. "Jesus Christ, it's like a tornado was here!" she adds through a laugh.

"Tanya, this isn't funny! I don't know what I'm meant to wear. Am I meant to take a spare of clothes for after I clock off from the bar or what?"

"Wow. Breathe, woman. Just wear what you're gonna wear on stage. You'll have a bar apron on over the top, so it's not like anyone's going to see your clothes…"

She walks across the room and begins to scavenge through the different piles of clothes that I've created. She pulls out a pair of my black skinny leg jeans and throws them on the bed. She goes to the next pile of clothes which is pretty much just a bunch of dresses. She pulls out a strapless dress the colors black, blue and dark turquoise meshed together with faded roses printed on it.

"There you go, wear that. I'll go get you some of my jewelry."

I give her a grateful smile before she walks out of my room. She returns quickly with a thick gold necklace that looks like a tangled snake. She hands me thick gold hoop earrings that match and a pair of black heels that have the effect of looking like they have feathers on them. I take them from her and place them on my bed.

"Thanks, Tan. You're a life saver," I say through a sigh of relief.

"No problem. You'll look great, and sound great."

"I'm so nervous, though. My voice is going to sound terrible."

She closes the distance between us and places her hands on my shoulders. She waits for my eyes to meet hers before she says, "Don't be silly. You don't need to be nervous. You're going to be great." She gives me a reassuring smile before kissing me on the forehead and walking out of the room.

I turn back around to face my bed. I pull off my day clothes and replace them with the outfit Tanya organized for me. I go into the bathroom and run a few strands of my hair through the curling wand and then braid back my fringe. I keep my make up light and natural like I normally would. I walk back into my room and grab my phone and wallet, putting it in the blue purse Tanya also gave me. I head out into the living room to see Tanya sitting on one of the stools in the kitchen. She looks up as I enter the room, a grin forming on her face.

"You look great!"

"Thanks."

"Alright, let's get going!" she exclaims excitedly.

On the way over to the diner, I turn on the radio to sing along with the radio. Just to warm up my voice and to get rid of some of my nerves. I try to remember what Kate told me to do — Take deep breaths before I go on stage, be confident, keep a smile on my face, make sure to breathe properly before certain notes when I'm singing and most of all just have fun with it. Have fun. Right. That's going to be so easy when I'm a nervous wreck, isn't it?

Tanya and I arrive before bar night has opened. I go straight to the bar and put on my apron. I tie up my hair as I begin to get all the glasses and spirits ready to serve. The bar is packed within two hours of opening. Every week it's been getting packed earlier and earlier. I look up and see Garrett walk into the bar. I give him a smile as I continue to pour drinks for the customers.

"It's Showtime," he says with a grin on his face. My eyes go wide and my palms automatically begin to sweat again.

"What? Already?" I ask shocked.

"Yep. Are you ready to go?"

"Ready as I'll ever be," I mumble nervously. He walks away and I look over at the stage. I must have been too busy to notice Garrett setting up the stage. I hand the two girls their drinks and then put up the sign that says a new bar staff will be back within five minutes. I go out into the back room to hunt down Tanya. She's sitting in the corner, eating a salad. She looks up at me when I walk into the room. I take off my apron and pull out my hair. I grab my purse and pull out my make up and re apply it before sitting down in the chair and begin to start my calming breaths.

"Are you okay?" Tanya asks concerned.

"Yeah, just _really _nervous."

"Oh, It's Showtime is it? Shit, you should have told me. I'm meant to cover the Bar while you're on stage." She continues to gorge down the rest of her salad before wiping her face with a napkin. I can't stop the laugh that escapes my lips.

"Tan, I don't think I can do this," I say quietly. I feel her hands on my knees before I see her kneeling down in front of me.

"You'll be fine, B. Just take deep breaths, and just think of the feeling you get when you're singing."

"What feeling?" I ask confused.

"I don't know, they're your feelings. You just always get this expression on your face every time you sing. I can tell you enjoy it."

"Oh."

"And if that doesn't work, just look over to me at the bar, okay? Forget anyone else is in the room. Just pretend it's just you and me mucking around."

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I nod my head and give her a thankful smile before standing up and walking out to Garrett.

"Okay, I'm ready to go."

"Great. Kate's in the audience just to let you know."

"Cool."

"Get out there and rock it, B!" He exclaims excitedly before playfully slapping me on the bottom as I walk away.

Everyone's eyes turn to me as I walk up on stage. I continue to take deep breaths to calm my nerves before plastering on a smile and walking over to the microphone.

"Hi, I'm Bella. I'm going to be singing a few songs for you guys tonight."

Everyone erupts into encouraging cheers and I think I hear a wolf whistle out in the crowd somewhere. I feel the blush creep into my cheeks.

"The first song I'll be singing is _Cosmic Love_ by Florence and the Machine."

Two dark haired boys walk up on stage. They must be the drummer and guitarist Tanya knows. They both grin at me before taking their positions and beginning to play the melody.

"_A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes,"_ I sing softly, letting some of the notes linger just as Florence Welch does when she sings it.

I run my hands up the microphone stand before placing my hands over the microphone. I glance over at Tanya; she smiles at me and nods her head to let me know I'm doing fine. I continue the rest of the verse and then head into the chorus before I look out to the crowd to see everyone's eyes are focused on me. I notice Kate in the crowed. She waves at me and I feel a smile form on my lips. I remember what she told me and I keep eye contact with them. I take another breath before starting the second verse.

"_And in the dark I can hear your heartbeat. I try to find the sound." _I leave a few seconds before I continue the verse.

"_But then it stopped it and I was in the darkness, so darkness I became." _I then head straight into the chorus for the second time.

"_The stars the moon, they have all been blown out, you've left me in the dark."_ I continue to take breaths at the right times before closing my eyes as I focus on my voice during this section of harmonizing in the song, my voice going higher as I make the notes linger on.

"_I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map, and knew that somehow I could find my way back. Then I heard your heart beating you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you." _I finish the sentence quietly, the boys stop playing the instruments for a few seconds before continuing the melody of the chorus again. I make my way through the chorus too, resting my hand on my stomach as I focus on my diaphragm to prepare myself for the high lingering notes that are in the ending chorus.

"_In the shadow of your hea-ar-aart"_ I cry out the high notes before taking another breath and forcing my voice to hit the rest of the notes perfectly.

I continue the last harmonizing notes of the song, making my voice go higher on the last note and letting it break off gradually. I continue to stand on stage as the boys continue to play the rest of the melody. Everyone erupts into applause, causing a grin to form on my lips.

"Thank you. We're just going to take a small break."

I turn around and walk over to the boys.

"Hey, I'm Alec." He puts his hand out. I smile at him before taking his hand in mine. Alec has dark brown hair trimmed semi short and pale skin to match it. His figure is tall and slim. His face is both angelically beautiful along with having captivating wide blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Bella."

"Oh, we know that," says the other boy. I turn to look at him and he smiles at me. He's very tall, and thick through the shoulders. He has short, cropped black hair that spikes a little at the front. The complexion of his skin is slightly olive. He also has blue eyes.

"I'm Felix, by the way. You have an amazing voice," he adds. I blush at the compliment and tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Thanks. You guys are great back here with the instruments."

"It took me a lot of practice. Unlike this little shit here, he was born with the natural talent."

Alec hits Felix in the arm with one of his drum sticks causing Felix to retaliate with his fist. Alec winces and leans away from him, cussing under his breath.

"Don't start something you can't finish, little bro," Felix teases.

"Now, now, boys. Be nice." I turn around to see Kate walking up the side steps of the stage. She walks over to us and I envelop her in a hug. She smiles at me after pulling away.

"You did great out there, honey."

"I was so nervous in the beginning."

"You couldn't even tell. I just came up to ask if you want me to play the acoustic guitar and sing back up for A Little Bit Stronger."

"Really? That would be so great. Thanks, Kate!" I say ecstatically.

"Speaking of the next song, I wanted to ask you guys to make the tempo of the song faster?_"_ I state the sentence as a question, my bottom lip trapped between my teeth.

"No problem, gorgeous," Alec says before winking at me and asking, "You ready to go again?"

"Yep." I smile at both of them before walking back to the front of the stage. Everyone claps again, causing my light smile to form into a grin.

"Thank you. Would you all please give it up for Alec and Felix back there on the drums and electric guitar."

Everyone cheers and claps for them. I turn around to see both of them standing and taking bows and doing the royal wave. I shake my head at them as a laugh escapes my lips.

I turn back to the audience and speak again. "I'm only performing two songs tonight–" I'm cut off by everyone's groans of disappointment. I laugh softly into the microphone before continuing what I was saying. "Sorry. This last song is called _A Little Bit Stronger_ by Sara Evans. My friend Kate is going to join us on the acoustic guitar and she's going to sing back up."

Kate begins the song off with her acoustic guitar and Felix joins in with his electric guitar soon after.

"_Woke up late today and I, still feel the sting of the pain but I, brush my teeth anyway. I got dressed through the mess and put a smile on my face. I got a little bit stronger."_

Alec joins in with his drums. I take the microphone off of the stand as I begin the second part of the first verse. I change the tone of my voice, making it raspier and giving it that country tone to it. I walk over to Kate and stand beside her before the chorus starts. I rest my arm on her shoulder as we sing together in unison, our voices matching beautifully. She smiles at me before she stops singing and leaves it to me to finish the rest of the chorus by myself.

I can't remove the smile that's on my face as I skip my way back to the front of the stage and begin to sing the second verse. I bop back to forth, tapping my hand to the beat on my thigh. Kate joins me again in the chorus, this time making her way to me at the front of the stage as she continues to play her guitar. She walks back to her stool and sits down as she lets me finish the end of the chorus by myself again.

"_I know my heart will never be the same, but I'm tellin' myself I'll be okay. Even on my weakest day-ay-ays. I get a little bit stronger. I get a little bit stonger-er-er"_

I turn around and dance my way over to Felix and lean my back against his, he returns the gesture as he plays his guitar during the instrumental. I spin around and face the crowd as I continue to dance next to him before I begin to sing again.

"_I get along without you, baby. I'm better off without you baby, how does it feel without me baby? I'm gettin' stronger without you baaabyyy."_

I place my hand across my heart as I head back into the chorus, letting my voice linger on the notes. I can't imagine what Edward would think if he saw me singing this song. I wouldn't want him to misinterpret it, because I don't feel like this at all. He never dragged my heart around. I know he loved me and I love him too. I think next week I'll sing songs that to relate more to my emotions, even though they may actually make me breakdown on stage. Alec and Felix join in with the back up during the end of the song as I repeat the title of the song.

"_I get a little bit stronger." _I sing the last note quietly. I'm not stronger without him. I miss him so much. As the crowd erupts into applause once again, I feel a lone tear fall down my face even though I'm smiling. I look over to Tanya, she throws the be back in 10 minutes sign as soon as she takes in my expression and runs up onto the stage.

"Hey guys! Wasn't she great?" she says as I try to get a hold of my emotions.

"Did you know she's also our bartender here? She makes an excellent cocktail! Anyway, thanks for supporting her. She'll be back next week!" I give her a thankful smile as she looks over to me and winds her arm through mine and leads me to the back of the stage.

"You alright, Bella?"

"Yeah I'm fine, Alec. Thanks for tonight, you did great." I smile at him before looking over at Felix. "You too, Felix," I add, a blush creeping into my cheeks at my mistake of leaving him out.

"No problem, Kiddo. Can't wait for next week." He walks forward and kisses me, Tanya and Kate on our cheeks before walking off the stage.

"Me too. We should all hang out before then though," Alec says as he walks out from around his drum set.

"Sounds great," I say before giving him a polite smile.

"You truly have an outstanding voice, Bella," he says quietly. He blushes lightly before taking my hand in his and placing a kiss on the top of it. "See you later, girls," he says to Kate and Tanya before walking away.

"Well that's one way to get guys after you," Kate says absentmindedly. My body stiffens and Tanya must have felt it because she gives Kate an icy look before speaking.

"She doesn't want guys after her, Kate. She's already in love with someone else," she says in a cold tone before dragging me away. Her tone doesn't seem to have fazed Kate because she follows behind us.

"Sorry, Bella. I didn't know," she says quietly. I stop Tanya from dragging me away any further before I turn around to face Kate.

"It's alright. My heads just really chaotic right now." I smile softly at her. "And Tanya shouldn't have spoken to you like that," I add pointedly, jabbing Tanya in the side of the ribs. She rolls her eyes at me before looking at Kate.

"Sorry, Kate," she mumbles. This time I'm the one who rolls my eyes. A smile forms on Kate's lips before she laughs quietly.

"It's okay, Tan. I know you're protective of her, but you really need to get over whatever issues it is you have toward me because I miss you." She closes the distance between them and takes Tanya by surprise when she wraps her arms around her shoulders and hugs her. It takes a few seconds for Tanya to respond, but she eventually wraps her arms around Kate's waist and hugs her back.

"You were like a sister to me, Tan," Kate mumbles, causing Tanya to step away from her abruptly.

"Saying that is just weird after what we did, Kate."

"I know. But I felt like that before that night happened. I hope I didn't hurt you."

"Of course you hurt me. You had sex with me then you ended up dating the guy who is the closest thing I have to a brother. And now you're _engaged_ to him."

"Tan, calm down," I tell her quietly as I rub her arm.

"I was drunk, Tanya. I didn't know what I was doing."

"You told me you loved me–"

"I do love you. Just not in that way… I'm sorry," Kate says so quietly I'm not quite sure I heard her. She wipes at her eyes before looking back up at Tanya. I look at Tanya and give her a pointed look.

Tanya closes her eyes and lets out a deep sigh. "It's fine," she says sternly. "I'm not in love with you, Kate. I'm just hurt about what this has caused," she adds in a softer tone.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to keep apologizing. Can we just act as if that night never happened?"

"Of course we can," Kate says relieved.

"Well, okay then. I could go for a cup of tea right now," I say through a shaky laugh.

"God, Bella. You're such a grandma sometimes," Tanya jokes through a laugh. I narrow my eyes at her and flip her off before walking away and heading into the kitchen. I make myself my grandma cup of tea and sit in the chair in the corner. Garrett walks in with a huge grin on his face.

"Everyone loves you!" He booms happily. "What are you doing in here? Get out there and have some fun."

"I'm seventeen, Garrett."

"And? Doesn't mean you can't go out and dance or whatever it is you girls do." He winks at me before walking out of the room.

I sigh before finishing my cup of tea and running my hands through my hair. I go back outside and find Tanya and Kate on the dance floor. They smile at me as I approach them, both dancing their way to me. They reach their arms out and drag me onto the middle of the dance floor with them. _Blow_ by Kesha comes on over the sound system. Tanya and I look to each other, grins on our faces because we always turn the volume all the way up when it comes on the radio. When that song is finished, I go to the bar and ask Jane to get me three glasses of water. I take them over to the booth Tanya and Kate are sitting at. I slide in the opposite side of them. Kate eventually excuses herself to go find Garrett, and then Tanya goes to the bathroom, leaving me all by myself.

A young man slides into the seat across from me. He's quite muscular but average-looking. He has light brown hair that is cropped short. But there isn't anything remarkable about his face or body at all. But I can sense that he's a proud man. And a predator by the way he's looking at me.

"Hi, there. I'm James."

"Um. Hi. Bella."

"You were the one singing right? Great voice."

"Thanks."

"You're beautiful too. Can I buy you a drink?" His eyes run over my body, making me shiver from disgust. He takes that as a good sign and smirks at me.

"I'm only seventeen."

"So? What teenager doesn't drink underage?" He jokes through a laugh, which quite frankly, gives me the bejeebees.

"Uh, sorry. I'm just not into that. And no offence, but you seem a bit too old for me," I mumble nervously.

"That just means I have a lot of experience on the field, sweetheart." He runs his fingers down from my elbow to my palm. I pull my arm away and fold it across my chest. I look across the room to see Tanya. She quirks her brow at me and I silently try to tell her to come save me.

"I should probably go…" I say as I begin to get out from the booth. He's standing beside me within seconds, hovering over me like a some creeper. I glance over where Tanya was standing to see her striding across the room. I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat as he strokes my cheek.

"Come on, baby. We can go back to my place–"

"Hey, babe. Sorry I left you alone for so long," she says as she barges past James and wraps her arms around my shoulders and plants a kiss on my lips. I freeze on the spot for two seconds before I sigh in relief before she pulls away.

"That's okay," I reply quietly. I wrap my arm around her back and lean into her side. She turns us so we're facing James. She looks him up and down before speaking.

"I see you've met my girlfriend. And you are?" she asks innocently.

"James," he says through a cough, looking super uncomfortable. "I was just leaving," he adds.

"Oh, okay. Bye," she says nonchalantly. We watch him as he makes his way across the room and out of the front door. I step out of Tanya's arms and breathe a sigh of relief.

"You are a _life saver_. Thank you!" I say gratefully.

"No problem. Sorry about the whole lesbian action there. Thought it would get him off your back a lot quicker."

"It did, thank god. He was seriously giving me the creeps."

"He gave me the creeps from across the room. As soon as I saw your expression, I knew I had to save your sorry ass," she says through a laugh.

"I don't know what I'd do with you."

"I know," she says smugly.

I grin at her before giving her a hug. "I'm exhausted. Do you wanna head home?" I ask.

"Yesssss. I could sleep for a year, I'm that tired. I wish I was a bear so I could go into hibernation."

"That's only during winter, Tan," I tell her through a laugh.

"Whatever," she mumbles before throwing her arm across my shoulders and pulling me into her side. I wrap my arm around her back as we walk across the room and out to my truck.

As soon as we get home, we both have quick showers and then head straight to bed.

Thank God tomorrow is Saturday so we can sleep in.

* * *

When morning comes, Tanya walks into my room and crawls into my bed. I blink my eyes open, adjusting them to the light as a yawn escapes me. I glance at my radio clock to see that it's nearly midday.

"Morning, sleepy head," She says her voice still horse from sleep.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. I came straight in here when I woke up," she says through a yawn.

I stretch out my muscles before groaning and rolling over to face her. I feel the corner of my lips begin to twitch. I purse my lips to hold back my laughter.

"What?" she asks confused.

"You have panda eyes." I snicker.

"I have what?"

I bury my head in the pillow as I can no longer hold in my laughter. I snort into the blankets as she picks up a pillow and belts me over the head with it.

"What are you talking about?" she exclaims. I get control of myself before looking back at her. A grin of amusement still on my face.

"All your eyeliner has run down under your eyes."

"How does that mean I have panda eyes?"

"Because Panda's fur around their eyes is black… So you look like a panda," I say through a snort.

She rolls her eyes at me before hitting me with the pillow again.

"You're such a brat," she mumbles before climbing out of bed and heading into my bathroom. When she walks back out, the eyeliner from under her eyes is gone. She climbs back into my bed and leans up against the headboard.

"How did you sleep?"

My body stiffens at her question. I didn't sleep all that well actually; I had that same nightmare I used to have when I was younger about when my mother left.

"Fine," I say quietly.

"I heard you crying in your sleep, Bella. And you were talking too." My eyes snap to hers, wide with shock. I know I talk in my sleep, but it's usually only mumbling. I must have been talking pretty loudly for her to hear me in her room.

"What was I saying?"

"You were saying 'Mommy, please come back.' Then you were shouting, 'I'm right here, Edward. No. Why are you fading? Why can't you hear me?'" she says quietly before looking me in the eyes.

"I was having nightmares," I mumble.

"Yeah, I figured that. Do you want to talk about it?"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. "Not right now," I say so quietly I'm not quite sure she heard me. I open my eyes to look at her. She gives me a sympathetic smile and nods her head. She reaches over to me and wipes away a tear on my cheek. I didn't even feel it fall from my eyes.

* * *

Later in the night, Tanya and I decide to have dinner at home and have a movie night. She cracks open a bottle of wine and rolls her eyes at me when I quirk my brow at her.

"How do you have alcohol? You're underage like me."

"Garrett gave it to me," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Can't he get in trouble for that? Can't _we _get in trouble for that?" I ask horrified.

"It's not like anyone is going to find out. Loosen up a little, would you?" she teases. "God, have you even been to a party when you lived in Forks?" she asks.

"No. I was too busy being depressed and isolated," I tell her, my tone icy.

"Jeez, sorry," she responds sarcastically.

I narrow my eyes at her before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

"In case you've forgotten, Tanya, I didn't have any friends until Edward and his family moved to Forks," I mumble.

"You had Jessica before, you know. You isolated _her _and pushed her away."

"Tanya!" I exclaim, hurt clear in my voice.

"What? It's true. I'm your friend - I'm not gonna sugar coat my thoughts for you. Cause what you did to her was pretty harsh, B."

"I was protecting myself." I mumble.

"From what?" she asks exasperatedly.

"I know now that I had nothing to worry about, okay? I was just very different back then. I had _very _bad insecurities. I still do," I say quietly.

"I know, but you have no reason to feel like you do. You have people in your life who love you. You shouldn't push them away."

"Why do you even care?" I mumble.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're the closest thing I have to a little sister and I don't want to see you close up like that and then run away from me too."

I glance over at her to see she has a serious expression on her face.

"I wouldn't leave, Tanya. Not without you, anyway."

"Good," she says before breathing a sigh of relief and smiling at me softly. "Anyway, lets get this movie night started!" she adds, popping the cork from the wine bottle.

She grabs two wine glasses and makes her way over to the lounge room. She pours the two glasses, and then places the wine bottle on the coffee table before sitting down next to me on the lounge. I grab the remote and press play. We've decided on watching _Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince._ When she told me she was obsessed with Harry Potter, I almost squealed with excitement like a 5 year old on Christmas morning. A smile forms on my lips at the memory.

We're completely engrossed while we're watching the movie. Both Tanya and I throw popcorn at the TV and yell insults to Ron when he begins to date Lavender, leaving Hermione feeling forever alone. But then we're both laughing our asses off when Hermione is sitting by Ron's side in the hospital wing after he gets poisoned and she gives a massive burn to Lavender before Ron calls out Hermione's name, causing Lavender to storm out of the room. We're laughing again hysterically when Harry takes the Felix Felicus potion, causing him to look and sound drunk. We're glued to the screen during the bathroom duel between Harry and Draco. Tanya makes me crack up when she says something about them having serious sexual tension and Harry should just dump Ginny's ass and get it on with Draco. We both have tears in our eyes when Harry and Dumbledore are in the cave and Harry has to force feed Dumbledore the poisoned water. Then we end up bawling our eyes out during the balcony scene where Draco is freaking out and then Snape comes gliding in and Avada Kedavra's Dumbledore off of the tower. We cried even more when Harry is crying over Dumbledore's body and then the whole school of Hogwarts put their wands to the sky to remove the Dark Mark. Yep. We are huge Potter Heads.

When the movie ends, we're halfway through the bottle of wine. We sit together on the couch and gush about how excited we are for Deathly Hallows to come out. Tanya looks over at me anxiously and I can tell she wants to bring up my nightmare again. So I'm not surprised when she says, "Do you want to talk about you're nightmare now?" She turns her body to face me after I nod my head at her. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before beginning.

"I was hiding in the back seat of my mom's car. She was driving away from our house – she noticed me within a few minutes and pulled over to the side of the road. Then the next thing I know, I'm on the side of the road watching her drive away from me. Then the dream morphed into Edward and me at Thanksgiving."

"Oh," she says quietly. She gives me a supportive smile before I continue.

"Yeah. But instead of being at his house we were in the forest. And when I ran away from him, he followed me and didn't stop – then it was as though I just disappeared and he couldn't see me anymore. He spun around on the spot, and then continued to run through the forest, screaming out my name and begging me to come back. I was right beside him, though, shouting in his ear, telling him that I'm right next to him – I guess that's what you heard." She nods her head and stays silent. Waiting for me to continue.

"I saw the tears in his eyes before he collapsed to the ground. He just stayed there, lying in the dirt, not moving. Just a blank expression on his face, his eyes hollow. Then his silhouette just, eventually faded into nothing…" I tell her quietly, tears falling down my face. She scoots closer to me on the couch and wraps her arm around my shoulder.

"Well that deserves another drink," she says through a shaky laugh before pouring more wine into our glasses. "You miss him, I can tell," she adds.

"Not just him. But Alice and Rosalie as well. Even Jasper and Emmett."

"Have you thought about going back?"

"Everyday. But I can't, not after everything that's happened. I know I'm being selfish, but I don't know what I'll be walking back into if I go back. They probably hate me," I mumble.

"I doubt they hate you. Do you hate your mom?" she asks. I look into her eyes and shake my head.

"No," I say through a sigh. "I just want answers about why she left," I add quietly.

"See. I bet they feel the same."

"I wrote her a letter before I left Forks."

"Who, your mom?" she asks surprised.

"Yeah. I don't know if she got it though. And I don't know if she replied, considering I live here now."

"Write her another letter then. Tell her this address."

"Really? You think I should?" I ask uncertainly. She rolls her eyes at me before patting my hand. She stands up and walks over to the cabinet the TV sits on top of. She pulls out a pad of paper and a pen before closing the drawer and sitting back down next to me on the couch.

"Don't be stupid. Write her another letter." She smiles at me gently before handing me the pen and pad of paper.

"What do I write?" I ask her.

"Anything, I'll be right here with you."

I stare at the note pad for minutes, thinking about what to write. What am I meant to say? Just tell her that I live at a new address? What if she replies and is all pissy at me? _Wait, why do you even care?_ My subconscious asks. _She lost all rights to be pissy at you for running away from home when she walked out on you when you were twelve._ She says annoyed. I sigh, shaking my head at myself before writing on the pad of paper.

_Hi, it's Bella again.  
Just letting you know that I'm living with a friend in California now.  
Her name is Tanya. She's really nice and a great person.  
I've uh, had some issues living in Forks for a while and everything became too much to handle,  
so I guess I did a runner. __Like mother like daughter, 'eh_

"Bella, don't say that to her, Bloody hell," Tanya scolds me. "Cross it out. And while you finish that, I'll be having a shower and then heading to bed."

"Okay. Sorry," I say quietly before leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. She returns the gesture before standing up and walking down the hall into her room.

I bite my bottom lip and cross out what I wrote before continuing.

_Sorry. Tanya said I shouldn't say that to you.  
Well, the new address is on the back of the envelope.  
Bella_

I rip the note off of the pad and fold it in half. I write down the address on the front of the envelope Tanya left for me on the coffee table before placing it inside. I put it in the straw basket with the rest of things Tanya needs to post. I pick up the wine bottle and glasses and take them into the kitchen. I wash them up and place one of those preservative corks in the bottle before putting it in the fridge.

I go to my room and have a quick shower before getting dressed into my pajamas and climbing into bed,

hoping to God that I don't have more nightmares tonight.

* * *

This chapter is the longest one I have ever written. It's 12k. It kind of surprised me that I could write this much. It's amazing what you can do when you're focused on something. Thank you to my Beta** Jenndur** for Beta'ing this in such a short time for me. This chapter is still with my second Beta, **MyHeartOfMusic**, though. So I'll be **replacing the file** when she sends it back to me. There wont be many changes, probably just grammar etc. I just didn't want to keep you guys waiting, so I posted it tonight.

Thank you to everyone who has **reviewed** and added this story to their **alerts and favorites.**

And just so all of you know. **My Felix is Jensen Ackles.** Just sayin'

**Natalee-x**


	25. Breaking Down

_**Chapter Twenty Five**__–__ (Breaking Down)_

* * *

_**EPOV**_

I have never felt so depressed in my life. All I want is for Bella to be back here with me and the rest of my family. Every day I think about that conversation we had on Thanksgiving. I replay everything she said over and over in my head, trying to figure out what she was talking about. She seemed to have it stuck in her head that I was going to do something to hurt her. But I would never do that… I would never have done anything to hurt her. Physically or emotionally.

I don't know what she's been through because she always refused to talk to me about her past. All I know is that she hasn't seen her mother since she was twelve years old, and that has left her with some serious shadows lingering over her. Making her afraid to trust people. God, I just wish she would have opened up to me and told me what was on her mind instead of just running away.

I thought she wanted me and needed me, but she obviously didn't want or need me like I want and need her. She made me come alive, but now she's just left me here dying inside. I saw everything about her so clearly, but I guess she never really saw me or how happy she made me every time I was with her. And now I can't have her like she has me. She'll always have me. She stole my love and now I'm left with a hole in my chest where my heart is supposed to be.

It's like I'm living in a dreaming state— I'm still functioning, but I'm never completely awake. I hope she thinks of me when she's out there. I'm probably just a distant memory to her now. I wish I could follow her back to the beginning and just relive the start of what we were. We can replay all of our favorite parts together and just live in those moments. All I ever wanted was her. And now I can't have her.

I roll over in my bed and glance at my radio clock. It's 12 o'clock in the afternoon. I run my hand over my face, leaving my arm lying across it. Alice comes barging into my room, her expression filled with confusion.

"Have you tried calling Bella today?"

"Not yet, no. Why?"

"Well. I just tried calling her and it said her number is disconnected."

"What?" I ask, sitting up abruptly in shock.

I lean over and grab my phone off of my bedside table. I dial her number. Instead of her voice greeting me in her voice mail, an automatic message plays, telling me that the number I called is no longer in use and has been disconnected. I shake my head as I climb out of bed and dial the number again. I can feel Alice's gaze on me as I continue pace back and forth, calling the number over and over again.

"What the fuck?" I hiss under my breath.

"Are you okay?" Alice asks attentively.

What the hell is going on? Why is her number disconnected? Did she get so sick of my constant calls and texts that she decided to change her number? Well that's a fucking low blow. I can't believe she would do something like that. She didn't even have the decency to call or text me back to tell me she doesn't want to speak to me. I guess that wouldn't have been any better though. I groan in frustration, throwing my phone across the room.

"Edward."

"What?" I yell.

"Calm down. I'm sure there's some sort of explanation for this," she says quietly. I clench my hands into fists as the frustration and anger builds up inside of me.

"She disconnected her number, Alice. So don't tell me to calm down!"

"Well maybe her phone broke or something?"

"Would you just face the facts? She obviously wants nothing to do with us anymore!" I yell again, my voice cracking in pain.

"Don't say that! She isn't like that," she whispers.

"How would you know?"

"Because she's my best friend! I knew her better than you did!" she says, her voice raising an octave. My eyes widen with shock at her statement.

"Get out," I say softly.

"Edward, I'm sorry –"

"Get out!" I yell this time. I see a lone tear fall from her eye before she looks down at the ground and walks out of my room.

I sit down on the edge of my bed, my hands in my hair as I rest my elbows on my thighs. I can't believe this is happening. Everything is crashing down on me – she's turned out to be someone I never thought she was. She was beautiful; her eyes were always clear and bright. I could see pain behind them and I thought I'd be able to fix her, but I was obviously wrong about that because she isn't here anymore. I don't know what I'm meant to do now. All I know is I'm so fucking pissed off with her right now. How could she do this? God, why do I even care anymore? Why did I even bother trying to keep in contact with her?

I walk over to my desk and pick up the framed photo of her and I. Rage over takes me and I smash it to the ground. I pick up all the photos that have her in it and rip them apart. I run my arms across my desk, throwing everything on top of it onto the ground.

"Whoa, man. What the fuck are you doing?" Emmett asks, shock clear in his voice.

I continue to trash my room, yelling out in anger about giving myself to her, just to have her throw everything we had away like it meant nothing to her. I feel Emmett's arms wrap around me, trying to restrain me.

"Calm the fuck down, bro."

"I fucking hate her!" I yell as I struggle in his arms.

"No, you don't. You're just hurting," he says calmly. I purse my lips and stop struggling, I shrug out of his arms as he lets go of me. I take deep slow breaths, trying to get myself under control.

"I'm more than fucking hurting," I mumble.

"Yeah, well maybe you should go let off some steam at the gym instead of getting your rage on in your room," he says through a laugh.

"This isn't funny, Emmett!" I snap at him, pulling on my hair with frustration.

"Sorry, man. Just trying to lighten the mood," he mumbles.

"Well, don't," I say sternly.

"Ali told me what happened." I stay silent, not wanting to talk about it. I feel his gaze on me and I know then that he isn't going to let off.

"I know you're hurt, man, but you didn't need to take it out on her –"

"I already know that. Can you just drop it?" I ask exasperated.

"No. You need to do some serious talking –"

"Emmett, just shut up! I don't _want _to talk about this."

"I don't give a shit! You shouldn't have been a prick to her! You need to calm the fuck down and get your shit together because one day you're gonna go too far and you're gonna have no one on your side!"

"Just fuck off okay? I don't need this!" I yell.

"You know what? We get it, okay? You're pissed about Bella dumpin' your ass and taking off. But you need to _get over it_."

"I don't _want _to get over it! Okay?" I yell, my voice breaking in anger.

"Well you fucking need to! We can all see this shit eating away at you and you're changing because of it. The only person you're sabotaging here is yourself, dude."

"I don't care! You have never experienced what I'm feeling right now, so just get off my back!"

"Fine! What-the-fuck-ever," he says in an icy tone before storming out of my room.

* * *

Today is the last day of school. Thank fuck for that. I don't know what I was going to do if I had to spend one more day in the hell hole with everyone staring at me as though I have two heads. Everyone seriously needs to get the fuck over my situation and focus on their own damn lives for once. The kids at this school gossip more than old ladies.

My first two classes go by in a blur. I felt completely numb during Biology. I never noticed how fucking boring that stupid class is without Bella in it to distract me. Mike and Tyler kept their snide remarks to themselves because I'm pretty sure they know if they say anything to me today, I will not hold back in punching them both square in the god damn head.

During lunch, I skip the lunch line and head straight to my table. I take my seat, keeping my eyes on the ground or focused on the table in front of me.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" Alice asks softly.

"Not hungry," I mumble. I can feel her eyes on me so I glance over at her. I can see the concern in her eyes and I nearly roll my eyes. Typical Alice to still give a shit about me even after I'm a complete prick to her.

"Why do you even care, Alice? He's been a complete prick to everyone," Rosalie says in a cold tone. My eyes snap to hers and she quirks her brow at me, silently challenging me to call her up on her comment.

"Rose," Jasper says sternly.

"No, she's right and you know it," Emmett says in an annoyed tone. I roll my eyes before picking up my bag and walking away.

"Right-o. Walk away like always," Emmett mumbles. I turn around on the spot and narrow my eyes at him.

"Fuck. You." I spit the words at him before flipping him off and continuing to storm out of the cafeteria.

Asshole. Everyone is a fucking assholes these days. God, I hate everyone. And because god hates me, he decides to throw Tyler, the fucking moron, into my path as well.

"What's wrong, Cullen? Still pining over your lost love?" he taunts.

"Seriously, Tyler. Walk the fuck away."

"Or what? You'll go tattle on me?" he asks sarcastically

"No. I'll make my fist collide with your sorry excuse for a face!" I reply in a cold tone.

"Someone has anger issues. Is that what happened with Bella? Did you lash out in front of her and scare her away?"

"That's it, I've fucking had it with you and your bullshit! Keep your mouth shut!" I yell as I slam my hands onto his chest and push him as hard as I can. He balances himself before lunging at me. I step to the side as his hand comes flying towards my face. I laugh at his failed attempt to hit me before making my fist connect with the side of his face. We dance around each other, hitting each other in the face with our fists.

"Edward, stop!" Alice cries.

"Stop being such an idiot!" Rosalie adds.

He lunges at me again and forces us onto the ground. He hits me in the chest a few times while I cover my face with my arms. I grab him by the throat before rolling us over and punching him in the face again.

"You're going to seriously hurt him, Edward, stop!" Alice screams again. I can hear it in her voice that she's crying, but I can't seem to make myself stop.

Tyler continues to throw punches at me, clipping me in the side of the head a few times, but it's not as bad as what I've done to him. I punch him in the nose, hearing the crack of it breaking as blood spurts out everywhere. I hear a student screaming for teachers before someone grabs a hold of my arms and pulls me away. It turns out to be Jasper.

"You need to get the fuck out of here. Now," Emmett says in an annoyed tone.

I shrug out of Jaspers arms and run out of the room, heading straight to my Volvo. I turn on the ignition and speed away. No doubt I'll be suspended when school returns.

* * *

As soon as I walk through the door, Carlisle is hot on my ass, yelling at me about needing to be more responsible and that I need to get control of my anger and stop lashing out at people because of my emotions. As soon as he says I'm grounded and asks for my phone and keys to my Volvo, I lose my shit at him.

"Why the fuck for?" I yell.

"Because you just beat a kid to serious injury, Edward! You need to take responsibility for your actions!"

"Why do you have to take the car though? How the fuck am I going to get around?"

"That's the whole point of you being grounded. For you to be unable to go anywhere," he says in a sarcastic tone, stating that what I said was stupid.

"You aren't my father, you can't fucking do this shit!" I hear Esme's shocked intake of breath at what I said and Carlisle's eyes go wide, hurt clear in them. I instantly look away from him.

"I may not be your father by blood, but I'm certainty the closest thing you have to one, so you might want to show me some respect," he says sternly.

I can hear Esme crying in the corner. I glance over at her and my heart constricts at the thought of me making her like that.

"Sorry," I mumble before walking away and up to my room.

I have a quick shower and then crawl into bed even though it's only early. When Jasper comes in to tell me dinner is ready, I tell him I'm not hungry and then roll over, facing away from him. He sighs before walking away and closing the door behind him. I stay in my room for the rest of the night and end up falling asleep, listening to my iPod.

* * *

I wake up to music pounding in my ears. I glance at my radio clock to see that it's 11:30AM. I groan in annoyance as I remove the ear buds from my ears. I head downstairs to have a bowl of cereal for breakfast. Esme watches me carefully before closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around me. I hug her back and apologize again for how I acted yesterday afternoon. She nods her head and gives me a small smile before she walks out of the kitchen and heads back into her office.

Emmett and Rosalie come in and make some pop-tarts to go. They ignore me the whole time. Jasper and Alice come in next. Jasper nods his head at me in acknowledgment and Alice give me a half hearted smile. I sigh before rinsing my bowl and spoon in the sink. In my peripheral vision, I see Alice's smile fall when I walk out of the room, not saying a word to her or Jasper. And considering I'm grounded, I decide to stay in my room all day.

I watch a few movies and do a few sketches in my art book to pass the time.

Its 4pm by the time Alice comes into my room. I turn off the TV and sit up as she enters the room. She sits down on the end of my bed, looking at me uncertainly.

"Are you angry with me?" She asks quietly.

"Of course not."

"You ignored me this morning."

"Because I thought _you_ were angry at _me_," I say through a sigh.

"I smiled at you."

"That doesn't mean anything," I scoff.

"Right. Well, what happened when you got home yesterday afternoon?" she asks attentively.

"I got my ass grounded and I was a complete prick again."

"What did he take from you?"

"My fucking Volvo," I mumble, still pissed off that I can't drive anywhere for god only knows how long.

"Ouch," she says through a chuckle.

"So what brings you up here, short stuff?" I tease.

"What you did to Tyler was really scary, Edward."

"I was defending myself."

"You were out of control. I know he mentioned Bella, but –"

"Don't. I don't want to hear her name again," I say pointedly, cutting her off.

"What?" she asks shocked.

"She didn't want me, and she left. She disconnected her number so I'm not wasting my time on her anymore."

"You don't mean that."

I roll my eyes at her before climbing out of bed. I walk over to my desk and pull out my drawer. I gather up all the photographs of Bella and I that I ripped apart and pick them up. I walk over to Alice and place them in her lap.

"Yes, I do," I say seriously.

"Why did you do this?" she asks through a sob.

"Because I'm done! I'm over it!" I yell.

"But you love her! She loves you, I know she does! You can't give up on her."

"Well, I have," I mumble.

"Who are you?" she asks quietly.

"What are you on about? All of you have been on my back about getting over her and moving on! So I finally am, and now you're telling me _not _to give up on her and questioning who I am? God, what is wrong with you?"

"I never told you to give up on her! I said you need to move on for now, but never to give up on hope for her coming back!" she says, her voice raising an octave as the tears well up in her eyes.

"God, I don't care!" I yell frustrated.

I pick up my lamp and smash it on the ground before punching my fist into the wall. I throw everything off of my desk again as the rage overtakes me.

"Edward, please. Stop," Alice begs through a sob.

"I'm done, okay? Why can't you all just leave me alone?" I yell, picking up my computer chair and throwing it into the ground. I hear Alice squeal and before I know it Jasper has ran into the room and has his arms around me.

"Let me go!" I yell, struggling in his arms. He continues to hold onto me as the sobs begin to escape me. Alice walks out of the room and closes the door behind her as Jasper and I fall to the ground. I collapse into his chest as my body rocks with sobs, tears falling from my eyes.

"I just want to be done with her," I say softly.

"It's okay, man. I know."

I compose myself and untangle myself from Jasper, sitting beside him on the ground next to my bed. I rest my head in my hands and begin to laugh hysterically. I can't believe I am crying. Again. I think I scare Jasper because he jumps when I let out another round of booming laughter. I glance over at him to see him staring at me as though I've lost my mind. Who knows? Maybe I have. I see the corner of his lips twitching as he tries to hold back his laughter. It doesn't last long because before I know it, he's laughing along with me. We take deep breaths and calm ourselves down.

"You'll be okay, you know," he says suddenly.

"What?"

"Eventually you won't feel like shit every time you think of her."

"I highly doubt that," I mumble.

"Well, you won't want to trash your room every time someone brings her up in conversation," he says through a laugh. "I hope," he adds seriously.

I roll my eyes at him before running my hands through my hair.

"I know you're hurting, bro. But it will get better."

"And how do you know?"

"Because I know what it's like to be betrayed by someone you love," he says quietly before adding, "I know it's not the same circumstance you're in, but it's similar. It gets better."

"I fucking hope so because I feel like shit."

"So does everyone else. Everyone is walking on eggshells around you. We all hate seeing you like this. We're watching you fall apart from the seams," he says with concern clear in his voice.

"Maybe I should just move out so you don't have to watch me turn into a complete mess," I joke, my voice muffled by my arm.

"I think we'd rather be able to keep an eye on you," he says seriously.

"Fucking hell, Jazz. It's not like I'm suicidal," I tell him exasperatedly.

"No. But you're definitely a hazard to yourself."

"Whatever."

He gets up off the ground and rolls his eyes at me.

"I'll leave you to your thoughts, then. See you later, bro." He pats me on the shoulder before smirking at me and walking out of the room.

I close my eyes and rest the back of my head against my bed. I let out long sigh before standing up and cleaning up my room. I chuck the broken lamp in my bin and put everything back up on my desk. I notice that Alice left the torn photographs on my bed. I pick them up and throw them in the trash as well. Once I've finished cleaning my room, I head into my bathroom and have a shower, letting the hot water relieve all the built up tension in my body.

I throw on my briefs and climb into bed, letting exhaustion overtake me. Going to bed early, yet again.

* * *

On Sunday, Carlisle joins me in the lounge room as I watch a rerun episode of _BONES. _He sits there quietly and I continue to ignore him. That is, until his gaze begins to feel like it's going to blow up my head. I let out a frustrated sigh before looking over at him and quirking my brow at him,

"What?" I ask a hint of annoyance in my voice.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine," I mumble before looking away from him.

I don't know why everyone has to keep checking up on me. And they wonder why I always end up getting my rage on with the world.

"Edward," he says pointedly. I look at him through my peripheral vision, waiting for him to continue. "You're clearly not fine. I'm a doctor – I know the signs of depression."

"Yeah, well you're wrong. Because I'm fine."

"Why can't you just talk to someone? If not me, maybe Esme? Or I could organize a professional to see you –"

"I'm not seeing a god damn shrink!" I say standing up, my voice rising in volume.

"Please don't raise your voice at me; I'm only trying to help."

"Well I don't need your help! Why can't everyone just leave me the fuck alone?" I yell before storming out of the room.

"You're grounded, Edward. Don't even think about leaving!" Carlisle yells out after me.

"I don't give a shit!" I yell back before walking out of the front door.

I go to grab my car keys to remember that Carlisle took them off of me. I groan in frustration, kicking the dirt on the ground before picking up a rock and throwing it into the bush. I shove my hands in my pockets and continue to keep on walking down the winding track that leads to the main road. My phone rings in my pocket and I pull it out to see it's Jasper. I shake my head and let out a sigh before answering.

"What?"

"Hi to you, too," he says through a laugh.

"What do you want, Jasper? I'm not in the mood."

"Carlisle just rang me and told me you stormed out of the house."

"And?" I ask pointedly.

"Well, I know you don't have your keys. So where are you? I'll come pick you up."

"I'm not going back there. I'm too pissed off to deal with Carlisle's shit," I tell him, annoyance thick in my tone.

"We don't have to, man. I'll just come get you. It saves you walking everywhere."

"I really just want to be alone right now, Jazz," I say through a sigh.

"Alright, then. Give me a call when you've finished brooding and I'll come get you," he says seriously.

"Thanks, man," I mumble.

"See ya, Ed."

"Bye."

I put my phone back in my pocket and continue to walk along the road.

* * *

I don't know how long it takes for me to reach La Push beach, but as soon as I do, I sit my ass down on an old broken down tree trunk that lays between two trees. I look out at the beach and instantly regret coming here. There are a million different happy couples spending the day here. I rest my head back against the tree and watch the couples, my emotions filled with envy.

I hear the sound of footsteps approaching me. I look up to see that Jacob Black kid that came to our school on his motorbike. I roll my eyes at him after he quirks his brow at me.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"What's it to you?"

"You're on my reservation," he says arrogantly.

"You don't own it," I scoff. He rolls his eyes at me before folding his arms across his chest.

"Where's your girlfriend?"

My eyes automatically narrow in his general direction.

"What did you guys break up or something?" he asks smugly.

"What the fuck is it to you? You like her do you? Well fucking good luck trying to find her sorry ass," I say, my voice rising in volume as the anger overtakes me.

"Whoa, calm down, would you? I was only asking. But I'll take that as a yes."

"Pretty much," I mumble before looking away from him and leaning back against the tree.

"Wait, hold up. You said good luck trying to find her, what's that supposed to mean?" he asks confused.

"It means she packed up her shit and moved the fuck away. Obviously." His eyes go wide at my statement. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"Do you know _why _she left? I mean, was it because you guys had a falling out?" he asks intrigued, which just pisses me off even more.

"Jesus Christ, what are you? The fucking relationship police?" I ask annoyed.

"You're a grouchy fucking troll, aren't you?" he teases, a smirk on his face.

"Would you just fuck off?" I yell, standing up and closing the distance between us. He takes a step back and raises his brow at me.

"Didn't mean to piss you off, dude. Just giving you the opportunity to talk to somebody."

"Why does everyone seem to think I need to talk to somebody?" I ask, frustrated.

"Because you obviously do. Jeez, why are you so pissed?"

"Because I told her I fucking loved her, okay? She said it back, but then she said she doesn't know how she feels. And instead of talking to me about it, she packed up her shit and fucking left without even telling me. So there I was, expecting to see her at school, thinking she only needed a few days of space to work out her shit. But then she doesn't show up. And then on Thursday, I ring her number to find out she's disconnected her damn phone, which is pretty much her telling me to stop calling her and to leave her the fuck alone because she doesn't want anything to do with me!" I say exasperatedly, forgetting to take a breath between sentences.

Jacob doesn't say anything – he stands there, looking at me in shock. He lets out a low whistle before running his hand through his hair.

"Sounds like you need a hit."

"I'm sorry?" I ask through a nervous laugh. I'm not a moron. I know what 'needing a hit' means, but I haven't done that shit since Carlisle caught me. And let me tell you, Carlisle releasing his entire wrath on you is a scary fucking thing. I didn't think twice about stopping.

"Of coke," he says as if it's the most natural thing to be offering someone that.

"I'm not really into that, man."

"What are you worried about? Bella finding out?" He asks sarcastically.

"What?"

"Well, I know she doesn't like that kind of shit."

"Did you not just hear what I told you? She isn't here anymore."

"Exactly," he says with a smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes at him before letting out a sigh. "Fair enough," I say through light laugh.

"You don't have to do it if you don't want to – I'm not pressuring you or anything," he says seriously.

"Whatever. Can we just go?"

"Right-o. My car's just parked up at the look out," he says before turning around and walking away.

I let out a sigh before standing and following after him. He slows down to fall into step with me. It's funny how things turn out. I wanted to punch in his head only a month ago. Now here I am, on my way to his car to go to his house and hit up the coke with him.

Life is fucking weird.

When we get to the look out car park, he walks towards a Red Volkswagen Rabbit. I let out an impressed whistle, causing him to grin at me. On the drive back to his house, my phone doesn't stop ringing. At first it's only Jasper calling, probably to see if I'm ready to come home yet. Then it's Alice calling over and over again. I eventually give in and answer the phone.

"What?" I ask frustrated.

"What are you doing? Where are you?" she asks panicked.

"I'm in La Push. Why are you freaking out?"

"Carlisle told me you walked out of the house. And I have this really bad feeling in my stomach that something is wrong."

"Maybe you have bowel problems," I say teasingly. Jacob snorts with laughter next to me.

"Who's that? Who are you with?" she asks suspiciously.

"Jesus Christ, what is with all the questions?"

"Can you please just come home? I'm really worried about you. Wait – why are you in La Push? Doesn't that Jacob kid Bella knows live there?" she asks confused.

"Yeah, that's who I'm with," I say nonchalantly

"Edward! What are you doing with him? God, no wonder I have this sick feeling in my stomach!" she scolds.

"Like I said, bowel problems. Stop freaking out, okay? I'm fine."

"Edwa–"

I hang up the phone, cutting off her shrieking voice.

"Dude, that was _gold,_" Jacob says as he continues to laugh beside me.

I glance over at him, a smile forming on my lips. I rest my head back against the seat and close my eyes, letting out a sigh as we continue to drive the rest of the way to Jacob's house.

* * *

Hey everyone. Sorry for the late update. I've been super busy, and my hotmail has been screwing up, so my Beta didn't get the chapter I sent to her. So i wanna give **Jenndur** a huge thank you for Beta'ing it as fast as she did.

I'll try my best to keep the updates to once a week but life has been becoming really busy, so i'm sorry if i don't always post a chapter each week. So if you want to know when I'm writing and when I'll be updating next, Follow me on** Twitter. **My username is** Natalee_x**

**I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Thank you to everyone who have been**** reviewing** and thank you to everyone who have added this story to their** alerts** and **favourites.**  


_natalee-x_


	26. From Weeks to Months

**A/N:**_ Below are the outfits worn in this chapter. Don't forget to remove the spaces._

**Bella's Performance outfit: **http : / i51 . tinypic . com / 15xr7tc . jpg**  
Bella's town outfit:** http : / i55 . tinypic . com / 2pslgg0 . jpg**  
Tanya's town outfit:** http : / i53 . tinypic . com / 9hp74i . jpg  
**Bella's New Dress & Red Heels: **http : / i55 . tinypic . com / 2jf0x9z . jpg

**Songs;** _Someone like you – Adele  
Need – Hana Pestel  
Songbird – Fleetwood Mac_

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty Six**__ – (From weeks to Months)_

_**BPOV**_

_one month later_

My voice coaching lessons have become a lot of fun. Tanya usually tags along with me, but she's not here today because she has to work. Kate has been amazing – she really helps me when I'm struggling with hitting certain notes. She's also been helping me a lot with my set lists, along with my stage presence and what I should wear on stage.

We haven't really written a lot of songs like Tanya suggested, but I did write a song called _I'll Be Waiting. _It's about how horrible I feel for leaving Edward, and that I'll be waiting for him to love me again whenever he wants me back, that I'll do everything different and be better to him than what I was. That's if I ever get the chance to see him again.

Kate told me that it's great, and although it's a beautiful song, to try and dip into my feelings of when I was actually with Edward, to create some up beat and happy songs. That's how I came up with _Off the Chain. _Sometimes when I read over the lyrics it seems really sappy and silly, but Kate and Tanya both seem to really like it.

I practice the songs I'm going to sing tonight, I've learnt so much from her. I used to think I breathed properly when I sang, but it turned out I didn't.

These coaching lessons have made Kate and I fairly close. Tanya has finally gotten over her awkward feelings towards Kate as well, acting like nothing ever happened between them. My confidence level has also become a lot higher because of all the performances I've done. Alec and Felix are amazing on stage. Tanya kept her promise and played the piano while I sang and also got up and sang a song with me. Everyone loved her.

"Thank you so much for everything, Kate," I say as we head to the door.

"It's no problem at all, honey. You're very talented."

A blush forms on my cheeks at the compliment. No matter how many times people tell me I have a great voice or gush about how talented I am, I always get embarrassed.

"I'll see you tonight," she says before leaning in and hugging me. I return the gesture and give her a polite smile before walking out of the door and running out to my truck.

I wave at her before driving away.

* * *

I walk into my room to see that Tanya has laid out my outfit for tonight. A smile forms on my lips at the gesture. She knows me so well. I don't doubt I would have been freaking out like I did the first three times I performed. I could never find anything so Tanya has just been lending me her clothes to wear for my performance nights. I think her and I need to go shopping soon.

I have a quick shower before changing. The dress Tanya picked out is a spaghetti strap dress, the top of it black and shaped like the top part of a heart. The bodice is a cream color, a crisscrossed shape embroidered under the bust. There are black high heels with thick fabric that ties up around your ankle, laying next to the dress on my bed.

I put them on before heading back onto the bathroom to do my hair and make up. Kate liked that I was keeping my make up natural and not over done. She gave me a few tips to use for my eyes. I've chosen to go with smokey eyes tonight. I put on my light lipstick and apply the lip gloss over the top before going back into my room and hunting down a bag. I decide on a casual black rectangular shaped one that has a gold chain on it. I place my phone, powder make-up and lip gloss in the bag before grabbing my keys and heading out to my truck.

* * *

When I walk into the diner, I head straight to the back room. Garrett is in there eating his dinner. He looks up at me as I enter the room and smiles at me. I return the gesture before making a cup of tea.

"You ready to go tonight?" he asks.

"Sure am," I reply with a smile.

"The place has become so much busier since you started performing."

"I'm sure they aren't here just for me."

"Pretty sure they are," he says, a smirk on his face.

I roll my eyes at him before taking a sip of my tea. I lean up against the bench and bit my bottom lip.

"Well, I'm glad I can help then," I say quietly.

"What are you singing tonight, anyway?" he asks

"_Someone Like You_ by Adele and _Need_ by Hana Pestle."

"So a slow night, tonight?"

"Yeah, Kate's been nagging me to hurry up and sing that Adele song and Tanya has been at me about the Hana Pestle one, so…"

"Ah, I see," he says, chuckling quietly to himself.

"Mmmmhmm," I mumble as I take another sip of my tea.

"You're here!" Tanya exclaims as she walks into the room. I look over at her and give her a smile.

"Is it time to go?" I ask her.

"Yep."

I drink the rest of my tea before heading out to the diner with Tanya. Alec and Felix are already up on stage doing the sound check. They look over at us and I wave to them as I make my way towards the stage. They both smile at me as I walk up the stage stairs, Alec a little more enthusiastically than Felix.

"Hey guys," I greet them. When the crowd see's that I'm on stage, they all begin to cheer. I turn to them and give them a wave before turning back around.

"Hey, Bells. You ready to rock this joint?" Alec asks me.

"Well, it's gonna be a slow song night, so technically she won't be 'rocking the joint'," Tanya says sarcastically.

"Shut up, Tan. You smartass," Felix says through a laugh. She smiles at him before flipping him off and walking to the front of the stage. She places a water bottle on the ground next to the microphone stand.

"Hey guys! Are you ready to hear Bella sing?" she asks enthusiastically.

The crowd cheers and yell out a series of 'yes'. I shake my head as a laugh escapes me. I walk to the front of the stage and wrap my arm around Tanya's back. I plant a kiss on her cheek because there's no doubt James will be in the crowd. She returns the gesture before walking back and taking her spot at the piano. We both agreed that she would play while I sang _Someone Like You. _

She begins the melody and I look back at her, giving her a smile before turning back to the crowd. I sway from side to side slowly before placing my hand on the microphone and beginning the first verse.

"_I heard, that you're settled down. That you, found a girl and your, married now," _I sing softly, breaking up the last word and letting the notes linger. I continue with the second part of the first verse, making my voice a bit deeper than it usually is.

I take the microphone off the stand and walk the rest of the way to the front of the stage. I raise my arm in front of me then close my hand into a fist before bringing it back to my chest as I sing the rest of the verse.

I continue to sway side to side as I head into the bridge. I close my eyes, a soft smile is placed upon my face as I continue to sing. I take a deep breath before snapping my eyes open as I begin the chorus.

"_Never mind, I'll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best, for you too." _I take another breath before continuing._ "Don't forget me, I beg, I remember you said: "Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead_,_" _I sing, making my voice go higher on specific lyrics before repeating the line a second time in a softer tone.

I walk over to Tanya as I sing the second verse. I sit next to her on the piano bench, resting my arm across her shoulders as she plays. I see a smile form on her lips before I turn on the seat to face the audience. I lean my back against the side of her body for a few seconds before I lean forward and sway from side to side again and heading into the bridge.

"_I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited. But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me, it isn't over," _I sing in a soft tone, making the last word linger. I continue straight into the chorus, resting my hand on my stomach as I take deep breaths and focus on my diaphragm so I can hit the high notes perfectly.

I turn away from the crowd and face Tanya again. She leans her head towards the microphone so she can sing the hook with me.

"_Nothing compares, no worries or cares. Regret's and mistakes they're memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet, this. Would. Taste?"_ Tanya and I sing in unison, her voice softer than mine but matching it perfectly.

I stand up from the bench and walk to the front of the stage as I sing the chorus in a slower tempo, carrying the notes out longer than I usually do. Tanya matches the melody to my voice, making it sound amazing. I feel the smile form on my lips as I repeat the chorus a few times.

Everyone cheers and erupts into applause like they usually do after I perform. Tanya walks up and stands next to me. I look to her before speaking into the microphone.

"Thank you. Wasn't Tanya great on the piano?" I ask them. The crowd cheers again. She takes a bow before kissing me on the cheek again and walking off of the stage.

Somebody wolf whistles, causing me to laugh lightly.

"This next song I'll be playing the piano and singing. It's called _Need_ by Hana Pestle and it's a very personal song to me, so forgive me if my voice wavers a few times."

I give them a smile before I head to the side of the stage.

"Hey, Felix?"

"Yeah, Bells?"

"Could you please come help me move the piano to the middle of the stage?" I ask, a smile on my face.

"Yeah, sure," he replies, returning my smile. He follows me on stage and helps move the piano. He waves to the crowd and pats me on the shoulder before going back to the side of the stage.

I connect the microphone to the piano before sitting down on the bench. I take a few deep breaths before pressing my hands to the keys. I bite my bottom lip as I focus on the keys, not wanting to screw it up. I haven't played this song for a while.

"_I'm not quite sure how to breathe, without you here. I'm not quite sure, if I'm ready to say goodbye, to all we were," _I sing softly. _"Be with me, stay with me… Just for now. Let the time decide when I won't need yooou," _I continue, making the notes linger.

I sway from side to side as i head into the chorus. I take breaths in between the right lyrics just like Kate taught me to. I focus on the keys as well, I was a bit rusty when I first played this for Kate but I practiced until it was perfect to perform tonight. I sing the second verse softly, eventually making my voice go higher and louder for certain notes in the verse. I begin the chorus for the second time – my voice becomes softer as my emotions begin to catch up with me. I finish off the chorus before heading into the hook.

"_Etch this, into my brain for me. Tell me how it's supposed to be. Where everything will go, and how I'll be without you by my side." _I hold the notes, slowing down the melody for the chorus this time around. _"My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room. I can't find you, help me. Are you looking for me?"_

As I repeat the chorus for the rest of the song all I can think about is Edward. This song relates to how I feel without him so much. If I didn't meet Tanya and Garrett, I'm not quite sure how I would have survived this long without him. Some days it got so hard to the extent that I couldn't breathe, but I am getting better now and my insecurities are starting to fade.

"_La de hee, oooh, Laa dee hee oooh_,_" _I sing the last harmonizing notes of the song softly before I stop playing the piano.

I don't think I'll ever be able to leave Edward behind. I won't ever be able to say goodbye to everything we had and the way he made me feel. I take a deep breath before standing and heading back to the front of the stage.

"You were very quiet during that song," I say through a laugh. The crowd laughs before giving me another round of applause, causing a smile to form on my lips.

"Thank you all for your support," I add before curtsying and walking to the back of the stage and down the side steps.

"You were great!" Alec praises me.

"Thanks." I smile at him politely before looking around for Tanya. She's behind the bar and puts up the 'be back soon' sign before walking over to us.

"You were great!" she exclaims before enveloping me in a hug. "How are you? I know that song means a lot to you," she adds quietly so only I can hear.

I wrap my arms around her back and return her gesture before answering her. "I'm okay. Just missing him, like always," I say through a sigh.

She lets go of me, but keeps her hands on my shoulders and gives me an apologetic smile.

I smile back at her.

* * *

Tanya and I are on the dance floor with Alec and Felix later in the night. I excuse myself to go get an ice water from the bar. I regret it almost instantly as I notice James sitting a few people down from me. I try to go unnoticed, but I fail miserably because the next thing I know, he's right beside me.

"We meet again."

I quirk my brow at him, letting him know I'm not interested in a conversation with him.

"Where's your girlfriend?" he taunts. I roll my eyes and let out annoyed sigh before answering him.

"She's on the dance floor."

"Oh, so she is your girlfriend?" he asks curiously.

"Obviously…"

"I think you're lying. And I don't understand why, I could show you a good time," he says, leaning in closer to me.

"And I already told you, I'm not interested. I'm seventeen, you're what? Thirty?" I ask him, annoyance clear in my voice.

"Ouch," he says, placing his hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"Can you please just leave me alone?" I ask him exasperatedly. He narrows his eyes at me before leaning in closer.

"Are you always so unpleasant? I'm trying to be nice and you're being a bitch. You said that last song means a lot to you. Why is that? Is it because your boyfriend left you heart broken and you don't want to let go of him?"

"Excuse me? You know nothing about me."

"Or should I say girlfriend?" he says as though I never spoke before adding, "Since you're apparently dating that blonde. I bet she doesn't even like you. You aren't that special, you know? You're nothing but a stuck up little girl, who is going no where in life," he spits the words at me.

I feel the tears form in my eyes and wipe at them aggressively before getting my ice water and throwing it in his face.

"You're nothing but a creepy jerk," I hiss at him before walking away.

"You stupid little bitch. Who the fuck do you think you are?" he yells at me, grabbing a hold of my wrist and spinning me back around to face him.

My eyes go wide at the scene he's making. He raises his hand and I automatically flinch away from him, remembering that look of anger in his eyes from when Charlie acted this way towards me.

"What's going on here?" I hear Garrett yell in a stern voice.

"Nothing. I was just putting this bitch in her place."

"What did you just say?" Tanya asks as she walks up to us, her voice filled with rage.

"Oh, Jesus Christ, not you again," James groans.

"Are you okay, babe?" she asks me softly before placing her arm around my shoulders and pulling me into her side. I automatically relax into her touch.

"You can stop with the act. I know you aren't really together," James says smugly.

"You don't know fucking shit, asshole," Tanya says angrily.

"Well, you have rug-muncher written all over you, but she doesn't," he taunts her. My eyes go wide with shock at what he just said to her.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" she yells at him before releasing me and lunging for him.

He takes a step back and booms with laughter. Cocky bastard.

"I think you should leave," Garrett says firmly.

"What? Are you an old boyfriend or something?" James taunts him.

"No," Garrett says pointedly.

"Of course not. You're probably too old for the little virgin too," he says sarcastically, speaking over Garrett.

"She's my fucking _sister,_" he adds icily.

James' eyes go wide and he goes to take a step back, but Garrett is too fast for him. He lunges forward and slams his fist into James' face. I hear the crack of his nose as blood spurts out everywhere. Garrett pulls out his phone and dials a number.

"Are you and Alec still here? Okay, good. Can you come to the left side of the bar; I need you to throw someone out for me. Yeah. Thanks, Felix."

He hangs up the phone and looks down at James knocked out on the ground. He must have hit him pretty hard. I stand there in shock as Felix and Alec come rushing over. Alec's eyes go wide with shock as he takes in my expression. I'm not sure what he sees, but it mustn't be good. He composes himself before helping Felix grab James by the arms and dragging him away.

Once they're gone, Garrett glances at me before closing the distance between us and wrapping his arms around me. I don't know what brings it on, but as soon as I wrap my arms around him, I feel the tears stream from my eyes as the sobs begin to escape my chest. He rubs my back soothingly as Tanya rubs my arm.

"Thank you," I say quietly, a hiccup escaping me afterwards.

"I'll always look out for you, Bells. You're like the little sister I never had," he replies quietly. I smile against his chest before pulling away and wiping the tears away from my eyes.

"Come on, let's get home," Tanya says quietly before taking my hand in hers and leading us out to my truck.

She insists on being the one to drive back to the apartment. As soon as we get home, I change into my pajamas and crawl into bed. Tanya climbs into my bed and scoots in close to me. She tucks the hair hanging in front of my face behind my ear.

"What are you doing?" I mumble.

"I'm not leaving you alone after that," she says quietly.

I let out a relieved sigh before closing my eyes and letting sleep overtake me.

* * *

The next morning Garrett calls up Tanya and suggests that we all go to the beach. We wear the same thing we wore to the beach last time and meet Garret, Kate, Alec and Felix at Hermosa Beach.

Kate brought the food this time and Alec and Felix brought the drinks. Tanya and I made up a fruit salad and brought a bunch of towels.

Tanya and I were attacking each other in the water. Felix and Alec eventually joined us. Felix picked up Tanya and threw her into the water. She got straight back up and then ran after him and pounced on top of his back until they fell into the water. To strangers, they probably look like a couple, but Felix and Tanya are more like siblings; they have known each other for years.

I look over to Alec to see he has an odd look in his eyes. I quirk my brow at him, causing a sly smile to form on his lips. He begins to walk towards me and my eyes go wide as I realize what he's going to do.

"Don't you even dare," I warn him, causing his smile to turn into a full blown grin. I turn around and run down the beach away from him. He must be a fast runner because it doesn't take long to catch up to me. I stop abruptly before running back in the direction I came from. I begin to laugh as he chases after me.

"Get back here!" he yells,

And because gravity hates my sorry ass, I fall over my own feet and plummet to the ground, causing me to laugh hysterically. He picks up my feet and begins to drag me into the water.

"Ahhh, stop!" I squeal.

"Nevaaaaaaarrrrr!" he says triumphantly.

A small wave crashes on top of me and I roll onto my stomach before leaning on my knees. I stand up and run towards him. He turns to run away, but I do a Tanya and jump on top of his back. He laughs hysterically before wrapping his hands around my legs and running around with me on his back. He lets go of my legs and I slide down his back. I turn to run away from him, but he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me against his chest. I bend forward as I try to get away from him – also because my stomach hurts from laughing so much.

He's a pretty strong person because he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder.

"Let me down, you ogre!" I yell through my laughs as I kick my legs around and pound on his back. He ends up tripping over and we both fall to the ground. I stand up straight away and splash him in the face.

"I can't believe you called me an ogre!" he exclaims.

"Well, you are," I say through a laugh before putting my hand out to him. He places his hand in mine and I help him to his feet.

"Last time I checked I wasn't a fat oaf. And I don't live in a swamp," he jokes with a grin on his face.

I shake my head at him, a smile forming on my lips. He throws his arm across my shoulders as we make our way back up to everyone on the beach.

* * *

"What are we all doing tomorrow night?" Felix asks, later on in the day.

"Uh, we don't have anything planned," Garrett says nonchalantly before looking over at Tanya and I, "What about you two?" he asks.

"We're free," Tanya replies.

"Cool. We should all go out to a club or something," Felix says.

"But Tanya and I aren't the legal age," I say confused.

"Really, Bella. You are seriously such a grandma sometimes. It's called a fake I.D, sweetheart," Tanya says sarcastically, pulling out her ID from her wallet and shoving it in my face. I slap her hand away before narrowing my eyes at her.

"Get out of my face, woman," I complain.

"I can organize a fake I.D for you, Bella. I just need a photo of you," Alec says quietly.

"Oh, okay. Cool. Thanks," I reply, giving him a polite smile.

"Here's a photo of Bella and I when we got bored one night and dressed up and packed on our make up," Tanya says before handing the photo to Alec.

"Tanya! Jesus Christ, why do you have them printed out?" I scold her.

"Oh, calm down. You look hot," she says through a laugh. "Yay! This is going to be so fun!" she adds excitedly.

I roll my eyes at her before shaking my head in amusement. Looks like we're getting our party on tomorrow night.

* * *

Tonight I decide to wear a white singlet and a black frilly high waist skirt. I wear black heels with black leg warmers over the top. I wear my hair out with loose waves. Tanya is wearing a really sexy tight black dress that has slits all along the arm sleeves and also up her left thigh. She also wears her hair out, with curls In the ends.

Tanya and I meet Garrett and Kate at the Diner. As we wait for Alec and Felix, Tanya and Kate talk nonstop about how excited they are to take me out and to see me unwind. They seem to think there's a monstrous party animal inside of me. I'm a bit scared to find that out actually. I glance over at Garrett. He rolls his eyes at Tanya and Kate and gives me a reassuring smile.

Alec and Felix are all smiles when they arrive. Tanya screams with excitement and begins to jump up and down. Maybe I shouldn't have let her have that bottle of wine before we left… Alec smiles at me as he hands me my fake ID. I smile at him in return before looking down at the rectangle shaped card. Tanya's right, I do look a lot older when I dress up. I wanted to kill her tonight when she insisted I had to dress the way I was on my ID. I feel like I've been hit with Homer Simpson's paint gun.

"Alright, let's rock this party!" Tanya booms excitedly before linking her arm with mine and leading us outside.

We catch a bus into Hermosa Beach and then walk to a club called _Zen Lounge. _My heart begins to race as we make our way to the front door. Alec rests his hand on my back, silently telling me to calm down and breathe. I hand the bouncer my ID and smile at him sweetly as he looks me over. He returns my smile before handing it back to me and stamping my wrist. When we walk through the doors, its half way through the song _Back Seat_ by **New Boy**. Tanya turns to me and grins before grabbing mine and Kate's arms, dragging us onto the dance floor. My lips turn up into a grin.

We bop back and forth and side to side. I haven't really danced before, because I'm pretty much a hazard to myself and have the worst coordination on earth, but for some reason, tonight I'm really feeling the music. I sway my hips and whip my head around, causing my hair to go flying and wrap around my face. I run my hands through my hair to put it back in place. Kate and I lean on each other a few times as we dance. Tanya is looking at me with a grin on her face. She indicates with her index finger to walk over to her. I make my way over to her, swaying my hips. She grabs my hand and spins me around so her back is against my chest. We dance to the beat, she bops back and forth while leaning her head back and resting it on my shoulder. I grab Tanya's hands and spin her around so I have my back to her this time. I sway my hips from side to side as I make my way down her body to the ground, doing a quick dip and then bouncing back up. She looks at me, her expression filled with shock before a shit eating grin spreads across her face and she laughs.

The boys come over after the song changes. Kate turns around and dances with Garrett, her hands around his neck as they sway their hips together very sexually, it almost make me blush. I look over to see Felix and Tanya dancing together. Again, people on the outside would think they're a couple with the way they're dancing with each other, but it just puts a smile on my face to see them having so much fun.

I don't know how long we're all dancing for, but all I know is that Tanya has fed me about five drinks in a Martini glass and I feel like I'm on top of the world. When I look around, it dawns on me that Alec hasn't been out here with us this whole time. I glance to my right to see him standing back, watching us closely. I give him a smile as I walk over to him.

"Why aren't you dancing?" I ask him

"Not much of a dancer," he says through a light laugh.

"I'm sorry, but have you met me? I'm the biggest accident prone klutz on this _earth_. If I can dance, you can too," I tell him before taking a hold of his hand and leading him onto the dance floor.

The songs changes to _Party Rock Anthem_ by **LMFAO**, which makes me squeal with excitement. I keep my hand entwined with Alec's as I dance. He just stands there not knowing what to do, so I move closer to him and place my hands on his shoulders, shaking them from side to side, trying to loosen him up. I place my hands on hips and do the same with him. He eventually gets the hang of it, and I can't help the smile that forms on my lips. I move my feet to the beat as I sway my hips. I place my arm on his shoulder as I whip my head from side to side.

He places his hands on my hips and pulls me close to him so our bodies are flush against each other. I can't help feel the blush that rushes into my cheeks at our close proximity. I place my other arm on his shoulder as we continue to dance. Alec doesn't take his eyes off mine as the song begins to repeat the line "get up." My heart begins to race as I see the look of determination in his eyes. Just before the song repeats the chorus, Alec smashes his lips to mine. Too many things happen at once. I automatically close my eyes from the contact and kiss him back. Alec runs his hands up my back and into my hair and before I know it, I get a million flashbacks of when Edward and I used to kiss each other like this, causing my to abruptly pull away from him. I can't help but touch my lips as the shock overwhelms me.

I turn on my heel and run off into the female bathroom. Tanya and Kate come barging in not long after me. I begin to pace back and forth while I hyperventilate.

"Whoa, what the hell brought _that_ on?" Tanya asks shocked.

"I don't know… I feel sick," I say as I lean back against the wall and slide down to the ground.

"It's alright, you just need to breath," Kate says reassuringly.

"Oh god, what did I just do? Why did I do that? I love Edward!" I ask confused, swaying from side to side.

"It's alright, honey. We'll just explain that to Alec," Tanya says worried, crouching down in front of me.

"Oh no, poor Alec! I'm the most horrible person on this earth!" I exclaim before sobbing hysterically.

"No sweetie, it's alright. Calm down. I think you've just had a bit too much to drink…" Tanya says, rubbing my arm soothingly, trying to calm me down.

"How much did you give her?" Kate asks horrified.

"Uhh, I don't know. I lost count," Tanya mumbles.

"My toes are tingly and I feel like I'm floating in the sky," I say intrigued.

"Oh, dear," Kate says through a laugh.

"You know what I want?" I ask seriously.

"What's that?" Tanya replies.

"A Penguin. They're sooo cuteee," I say through a giggle.

"Okay, I think I need to get you some water," Kate says through a laugh.

"Then can I have a Penguin?" I ask excitedly.

"Sure, you can," Tanya says before laughing.

"Why are you laughing at me? That's not very nice," I mumble.

"Because _you're_ cute." She says, tapping her index finger on my nose and standing up.

"Oh shucks, don't make me blush," I reply before laughing hysterically.

"Alright, lets get you cleaned up and then we can go get some water," Kate says as her and Tanya pull me to my feet.

Tanya wipes my eyes with some paper towel and then reapplies some powder foundation to my face. They both link their arms through mine and lead me back into the club. As soon as I see Alec, I look away, filled with shame. We go to the bar and get a large water for each of us. Kate and Tanya lead us to a table so we can sit down. I drink my water slowly, resting my head on the table. An hour passes and my head finally feels a bit clearer.

"Can we go somewhere else?" I ask Tanya.

"Yeah. I'm in the mood for a lower key pub or something," she replies.

"I'll go get the boys," Kate says before standing and walking away. She returns with the boys around five minutes later.

We leave the club and head down the street, looking for somewhere else to go. We come across a pub called _Waterman's Restaurant Bar. _We show our IDs before walking inside and sitting at a booth. Tanya goes and gets drinks for everyone and hands me water. For that, I'm grateful. Tanya slips away for a few minutes, she returns with a sly smile on her lips, which just makes me suspicious. Half an hour passes by the time I know what she was up to.

I take another drink of my water when the lady up on stage says it's time to start the karaoke part of the night and then calls out my name, causing me to spit my water out everywhere.

"What?" I ask, coughing as I choke on the rest my drink.

"You're up, honey," says the lady. I look over to her.

"But I didn't put my name in…" I say horrified.

"I did," Tanya says, a smug smile plastered on her face. I immediately look over at her and narrow my eyes at her.

"Why?" I ask incredulously.

"You sing at our bar, why not sing at karaoke?" she says nonchalantly.

"We don't have all night, honey," the lady says impatiently.

"You. Are. A. Troll," I say to Tanya before standing and going up on stage.

I flick through the choices and decide on _Songbird_ by **Fleetwood Mac**.

I pull a stool onto the stage and sit down as the piano plays. I take a deep breath before singing.

"_For you, there will be no more crying. For you-oo-oo, the sun will be shining and I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright. I know its right,"_ I close my eyes and sway back and forth slowly as I carry on singing. All of my memories with Edward playing in the back of my mind.

I open my eyes as I sing the harmonizing notes. My eyes lock with Alec's for a split second before I look away from him. I hope he doesn't think this song is about him. I don't know what I'm going to do about this situation I'm in. I like Alec a lot, but only as a friend. I don't know why I kissed him back; I don't want to blame it on the alcohol, but I know it was a main part of why it happened. I was just wrapped up in the heat of the moment. I close my eyes again as I begin to sing again.

"_And I wish you all the love in the world. But most of all, I wish it from myself," _I sing softly.

All my emotions take over me as I focus on the lyrics. I keep my eyes closed because I don't want to leave all the memories in my head. I feel a small smile turn up at the corner of my lips as I remember mine and Edward's first date, our first kiss, the first time we went further in our physical relationship. God, I miss him so much.

"_And I love you, I love you, I love you. Like never before," _I sing, my voice sounding raspy from the words getting stuck in my throat.

"_Like never before,"_ I repeat the line as a lone tear falls down my cheek.

I take a deep breath when the track ends. The small amount of people who are in the bar clap enthusiastically. I give them a polite smile before putting the stool back before heading back down to the booth with my friends. Tanya and Felix go up on stage to sing a duet together. Kate and Garrett excuse themselves to go to the bar. Alec and I are left by ourselves.

"Bella, are you okay? I'm really sorry about what happened at Zen," he says quietly. I meet his gaze and smile at him sheepishly.

"I should be the one who's sorry. I didn't meant to freak out. The alcohol just went to my head and I was shocked and –"

"Whoa. Slow down, it's okay." He smiles at me before reaching over and placing his hand on top of mine. I pull my hand out of his slowly and fold my arms on top of the table.

"Alec… You're a really nice guy."

"Oh, no," he says through a laugh.

"What?" I ask.

"When a girl says that to you, it's never a good thing," he tells me, a soft smile on his face. I give him an apologetic smile before speaking again.

"I'm sorry. You're a great guy, you're funny and smart. You're great to talk to, I'm just… I'm already in love with someone else from back home. And my head is all over the place. Don't get me wrong, I do really like you, but only as a friend," I reply quietly. I glance over at him and he gives me a polite smile.

"Hey, it's alright. You're a beautiful girl. And I'm happy to have you just as a friend."

"I'm sorry if I led you on or anything,"I mumble.

"Seriously, I understand. Don't sweat it, Bells," he says, reaching over and patting my arm lightly before gracing me with a reassuring smile. I can't help but let out a sigh of relief and smile at him thankfully.

We spend a few more hours at the pub. Kate gets up and sings a few songs. They try to get me back on stage, but I refuse to get back up there. I have a few more drinks, and by the time we decide to leave, I'm _very_ tipsy again.

Tanya and I decide to get a bus back to the house. We say our goodbyes and I hug Alec, apologizing again for being so retarded.

When Tanya and I arrive back home, it feels like a mission to walk up the stairs in these heels.

"Ergh, my feet feel like they have a sack of potatoes tied to them," Tanya groans.

"A sack of potatoes? What?" I ask through a laugh, "Do you reckon the neighbors will mind if we just crash on the stairs?" I ask, causing her to laugh.

"There is no way in hell I'm sleeping on these stairs," she says seriously.

"Man, I wish The Wizarding World of Harry Potter was real. I'd give anything to be able to just apparate to my room right now," I mumble.

"I don't think that'd be such a good idea in the state we're in, we'd probably loose an arm or a leg!" She replies before laughing again.

We end up making our way to our door. I continue to laugh hysterically as Tanya tries to get the key in the lock. Some of the neighbors get annoyed and yell at us to shut up, which just ends up making Tanya yell back at them and in turn, makes me bend over clutching my stomach as I try to catch my breath. I feel the tears from my laughter fall down my face as we finally get inside the apartment.

"I'm sleeping in your room tonight," Tanya says matter-of-factly.

"What? Why?" I ask confused.

"Because it's closer and I can't be fucked trekking it to my room," she says seriously.

"You are such a baby," I reply through a laugh.

"Whatevs. My precious feet are in so much pain!" she complains.

I shake my head at her as we make our way down to my room. I run into my bathroom to have the first shower which results in Tanya yelling curses at me about her needing the hot water as soon as possible to sooth her poor feet. Once I'm done in the shower, I get changed into my pajamas in the bathroom. When I walk out of the bathroom, Tanya charges at me with a huge grin on her face and then pushes me onto the bed before running into the bathroom.

"Jesus Christ, you're a fucking behemoth!" I call out to her.

"You love it!" she yells back.

"Yeah, I just love getting run at and then shoved onto my bed," I mumble.

"Don't deny ittttt," she says in a sing song voice.

"Whatever loser, just hurry up and shower. I'm exhausted!" I call out to her.

I hear her cackling like a witch in the bathroom before she turns on the water. I'm already in bed by the time she emerges 20 minutes later. I swear she takes the longest showers on planet earth. She throws her towel over my desk chair before collapsing onto my bed.

"So, how did the talk with Alec go?"

"Fine," I reply quietly.

"Just fine?" she asks sincerely.

"Yeah. He understands. He's happy to just be friends."

"I told you he'd be fine. Alec is a good guy," she replies before a yawn escapes her.

"Yeah, he is."

"Ergh, my head is pounding already. I am not looking forward to tomorrow morning."

"Me either," I reply through a sigh.

"Do you still want that Penguin?" she asks through a laugh. I pick up my pillow and bash her with it.

"If you tell anyone about that, I will destroy you," I groan.

"You are such a dork," she snickers before hitting me with her pillow.

I narrow my eyes at her just as a yawn escapes me, which causes Tanya to catch it.

"I'm going to sleep. Night," I say before rolling over and closing my eyes.

I feel Tanya plant a kiss on the back of my head before exhaustion overtakes me.

* * *

The next morning, Tanya and I wake up hung-over. I don't remember half of what happened last night, so I highly doubt Tanya does because she was a lot more drunk than I was. Or so I thought.

"So, do you still wish The Wizarding World of Harry Potter was real?" she asks.

"Excuse me?" I ask confused.

"Last night you kept going on about wishing the Wizarding world was real so you could apparate everywhere instead of walking," she tells me through a laugh.

"Oh my god, how do you even remember that?" I groan, horrified.

Tanya laughs before getting out of bed and leaving my room. She comes back in a few minutes later with two cups of coffee and Advil on a tray. She brings it over and sits back in bed. I take my coffee from her and throw back the pills.

"I am never drinking again," I mumble as I blow on my coffee.

"Yeah, that's what I always say. I never sticks, unfortunately." She leans back against the headboard and lets out a deep sigh as she closes her eyes. I sit beside her quietly and close my eyes as well. That is until I feel her gaze burning into my face. I open one eye and glance over at her.

"What?" I ask through a sigh.

"Do you remember what happened between you and Alec?" she asks quietly.

"Unfortunately," I reply in a mumble.

"Are you okay?" she asks concerned. "You were pretty distraught," she adds.

"Yeah, I'm okay. It just made me feel like I was betraying Edward. I still love him, I don't want to be with anyone else," I reply quietly.

"Why did you leave then?" she asks seriously.

"We've already been through this, Tan…" I tell her through a sigh.

"Look, I get you were confused and scared, but don't you think what you did is kind of hypocritical? You pretty much did what your mom did to you… You left Edward without any explanation at all…"

"I know. I know that, but I can't change the past, Tanya," I say quietly.

"You know I love you, B, but I'm sick of seeing you so hurt and broken down. I know you've gotten better, but can you imagine how Edward feels? He's probably hurting a lot, especially since he told you he loved you and then you just ran away. I mean, I don't want to make you feel horrible, but did you ever think about the aftermath on his part?" she asks, her voice quiet.

"My mother abandoned me, Tanya. And my father treated me like shit, he taunted me and said horrible things to me all the time, and I ended up believing everything he said. I felt like I was worth nothing, that I wasn't good enough for anyone and everyone was just going to end up leaving me because I'm such a horrible person." I glance over at her to see that she's waiting for me to finish speaking. I take a deep breath before continuing, "Charlie treated me like a slave and maid service rather than treating me like his daughter. He's a drunk and eventually ended up physically abusing me. All I've experienced is loss and pain…" I close my eyes as I begin to feel the tears forming in my eyes. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "When I finally let Edward in, and he said similar words to me that my mother said before she abandoned me, I thought the worst and got scared. I honestly thought Edward was going to wake up one day and end up leaving me, so I left him. My trust in people was at an all time low."

"You can't keep using your parents as an excuse, B. I know they broke you down pretty bad, but because of that you should have realized that you running away was just going to cause Edward to feel like you do. And if your trust in people was so low,then why did you move in with me as soon as you met me? That seems a bit hypocritical."

"I know that now, okay? I know that what I did was wrong and I know that what I did was hypocritical. I feel horrible about it all. Is that what you want to hear? That I'm a selfish, horrible person. I'm an idiot and I shouldn't have left Forks?" I ask her exasperatedly, my voice filled with hurt. "And I moved in with you because you were amazing to me. You didn't even know me and you offered to take me under your wing, you offered me a job and everything. I had no where else to go. People do irrational things when they're desperate. And I really needed a friend at that time," I add softly.

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm just trying to help you," she says before resting her hand on top of mine, giving me an apologetic smile and continuing. "You may only be seventeen, but that doesn't mean you're a child. You need to face the facts and take responsibility for your actions. And everyone makes mistakes, hell, I've made plenty. But all you're doing right now is delaying your healing process because you aren't facing your issues. You're hiding, not healing. I think maybe you should write to Edward. Make that first step in dealing with your mistakes. Apologize to him and let him know how bad you feel, tell him you're okay now. He's probably worried sick about you."

"I highly doubt that, he probably hates me now. I don't blame him if he does. And I don't know if writing to him is a very good idea. It'll probably just hurt him more. What am I meant to say? 'Hey, Edward. Sorry I was such an insensitive bitch and left you like that, but I'm a lot better now,'" I say sarcastically.

"Don't be stupid. A simple _real _apology will be enough. Just explain what you were feeling at the time. And I don't think he hates you. He's probably just very hurt by what you did."

"I can't do that in a letter, Tanya. That's just as heartless. If I'm going to explain everything to him, it has to be in person. And I highly doubt he wants to see me now."

"God, will you stop being so negative? Just write him the damn letter. Just apologize and keep it simple, it's not that hard, Bella," she says, her voice clear with impatience. I bite my bottom lip before nodding my head at her.

"Okay," I reply quietly.

"Look, I'm gonna go have a shower. How about we have a lazy day filled with watching DVDs and drinking tea like old grannies?" she asks, humorously.

"Sounds great," I reply honestly. She smiles at me before walking out of my room and down the hall.

I'm not gonna lie, my emotions do get the best of me sometimes. I still have those horrible days where I feel like I'm fading away into nothing. Sometimes it get's so bad, it's like I can't feel anymore, like I've gone completely numb. When I'm alone and have my thoughts rushing through my head, it feels like everything is crashing down on me all at once. What I used to have, everything I've ever lost, all the mistakes I've made, hurting all the people I care about. All my insecurities come rushing back, it's like I'm in some kind of fight with myself and all my negative thoughts making me feel like if I even try to stay positive and get my life back on track, everything will just crash back down on me. Most days I can't handle the pain and I just lay in bed all day reliving my memories in my mind. I try so hard not to let myself cry because I know if I cry that first tear I won't be able to stop them.

Not a day goes by where I don't miss Edward. Every day I hope that it will get better and that Tanya would just lie to me and tell me I don't need him, I don't even think that would help me though. If I didn't need him then why does it feel like I've been punched through the chest sometimes? I know I was the one who left him because of my stupid fears and insecurities. When he told me he loved me, all I could think about was how my mother said those similar words to me before abandoning me. I didn't want to fall into that trap again. I honestly believe he would have ended up breaking my heart and leaving me just like my mother did. But now I know that I was wrong.

Tanya and Kate have been helping me a lot, even sometimes Garrett. They're always getting me to talk about everything that's ever bothered me or made me feel the way I do. Tanya, especially. She's always giving me pep talks, telling me I have to push through it and stand through the pain when everything starts feeling like it's falling to pieces and because of that, my trust level in people has improved a lot. I love everyone I've become friends with here, and I wouldn't change it for anything. But when I left Forks, my trust in people was at an all time low. Don't get me wrong, I trusted Edward to a certain extent, but I just couldn't reach that barrier where I trusted him a hundred percent. But I can honestly say that I trust Tanya and Garrett with my life. I know they would never do anything to hurt me and they will always be there for me. I've become happy and I'm finally doing okay.

I let out a frustrated sigh before gathering a pad of paper and a pen. It takes me about half an hour to write the letter until I'm happy with it. Which is a good thing I guess considering Tanya takes the longest showers in the fricking universe, so she doesn't come back in to find me still trying to write the damn thing. I hunt down an envelope and place the letter inside. I put the letter with the pile of mail that needs to be posted this week.

I have a shower, letting the hot water relax my tensed up muscles. Once I'm finished, I change into a pair of black tights with a grey jumper with flower print on it. Just as I sit back down on my bed, Tanya walks into my room with a bunch of DVDs and places them on my bed.

"I'll be right back," she says, picking up the tray she bought in earlier and walking back out of the room.

As I put the first DVD into the player, (which is Beauty and The Beast. Yes, I am obsessed with Disney movies. Don't judge.) Tanya returns with the same tray which holds two cup of tea's on top of it. I take mine gratefully before sitting back down on my bed.

After watching Beauty and The Beast, we watch A Cinderella Story and then The Lion King. We stay in bed, watching movies all day, not taking a break until having something to eat or one of us needs to go to the bathroom. When night falls, we both have quick showers before crawling back into bed and watching more movies. When The Hangover ends, Tanya jumps up and puts Moulin Rogue in the player.

It begins to be difficult for me to keep my eyes open. I eventually fall asleep to the background music in the movie.

* * *

On Tuesday, I still feel like death.

I crawl out of bed to have a hot soothing shower before work. Once I'm done, I get dressed quickly and don't even bother to put on any make up. I throw my hair up into a messy bun before grabbing my house and car keys and heading out the door.

I haven't driven my truck for a while, so when I turn the key in the ignition, I almost jump out of my skin because of how loud it is. When I arrive at work, I park my truck then close my eyes and rub my temples. How can I still feel like shit two nights after going out? I hate life.

I head straight into the back room and make myself an extremely strong coffee. As I wait for the kettle to boil, I put my belongings in my locker. I continue to stand there, not wanting to close it because I know it's going to sound like a gunshot when I do. I close my eyes and close it as quietly as I can before leaning back against it.

The kettle whistles and I groan in annoyance. How can something sound so loud? I make my coffee before heading back out and setting up the tables.

"Your head still hurting, drunkie?" Garrett teases after I walk behind the front desk.

"Shut up," I mumble before narrowing my eyes at him and flipping him off.

"You were pretty amusing. I never knew you could move the way you were that night."

"What are you talking about?" I ask suspiciously.

"The way you were dancing was pretty provocative," he says before winking at me.

"Oh my god," I groan in embarrassment, covering my face with me hands.

"Awww, embarrassed, are we?" he asks before walking over to me and laying his arm across my shoulders, pulling me into his side. I jab my elbow into his ribs before stepping out of his embrace and continuing to set everything else up.

Work goes by pretty quickly. I almost lost my shit at the kids that kept banging their god damn cutlery on the table, chanting 'where's my dinner?' Garrett could see that I was going to end up attacking them, so he told me to head off early. Thank god.

By the time I trek my way up the apartment stairs, I'm exhausted and just want to go to bed. I have a quick shower before walking into the kitchen and making myself a cup of tea. Tanya walks through the door not long after, so I make her one too.

"Hey, babe. How was work?" she asks politely.

"I almost strangled two children today."

"Oh. So not good then?" she asks through a laugh.

"How is it possible that my head still feels like there is a marching band inside of it?" I ask, frustrated.

"Well, I'm guessing that was the first time you ever drank that much. You were pretty wasted," she says sympathetically.

"Yeah, well, I'm never doing that again," I mumble quietly.

"That's what they all say," she jokes.

"I made you a cuppa," I tell her. She smiles at me gratefully before sitting down on one of the stools as I lean against the kitchen bench.

"What did you get up to today?" I ask.

"Just hung out with Felix and Alec," she says nonchalantly. My body tenses at the mention of Alec and she notices. "He's fine about what happened, by the way."

"What?" I ask, feigning confusion.

"Alec," she says pointedly.

"Oh. Well, that's good then. I'm just gonna go to bed. I'm so tired," I reply quietly.

"Mmhmmm," she says skeptically, raising her brow. I roll my eyes at her before kissing her on the cheek and going down to my room.

I change into my pajamas and climb into bed, exhaustion overtaking me as soon as my head hits the pillow.

* * *

"Wake up, sleepy heeeead!" Tanya says in a sing song voice before jumping on top of me on my bed.

"Must you always smother me when you wake me up?" I groan in annoyance.

"Yep," she says through a laugh before rolling off of me. "We're going shopping with Kate today," she adds excitedly.

"Erghh, I forgot about that," I reply, my voice muffled by my sheets. "Do I have to go?" I complain.

"Don't be such a party pooper. Hurry up and get dressed, she'll be here soon," she says before pulling the blankets off me and walking out of my room.

I groan in frustration before dragging myself out of bed. I have a deliberately long shower, causing Tanya to bang on my bathroom door, telling me to hurry up. I step out of the shower and dry myself quickly. I put on a pair of dark blue Levi's, a white singlet and a black jumper with the Eiffel tower that looks like it's inside a photo frame with the words 'Paris Sous Le Clair De Lune' printed above it. I slip on my black and white Converse. I grab my keys and phone, placing them in a small handbag before meeting Tanya and Kate in the living room. I glare at Tanya before turning to Kate and smiling at her politely.

"I swear, you take fucking forever to get ready," Tanya complains.

"I swear, you're the most impatient person on planet earth," I reply, my voice sweet.

"Alrighty then, let's get going," Kate interrupts before turning on her heel and walking out of the apartment. Tanya and I follow behind her.

We go to Park Pacific Shopping center at Hermosa Beach. Tanya is on a mission to find a new pair of heels and new dress, which I do not understand at all. I mean, just because it's hot in California, doesn't mean it doesn't get freezing cold sometimes, especially when the season we're in is winter. She must be insane.

"Bella, seriously. If you don't buy a pair of heels today, I may have to hurt you," she says seriously. We ended up stopping at Starbucks. I roll my eyes at her before blowing on my coffee.

"Why do I need a pair of heels when I can just borrow yours?"

"Every girl needs a pair of statement shoes. Preferably red," she says matter-of-factly.

"Just give in, Bella. She'll just continue to nag you. Trust me, I know from experience," Kate says through a laugh.

"Fine," I mumble into my coffee cup.

"Yessssss!" Tanya celebrates, banging her hand on the table cheerfully.

We continue to drink our coffees before we head into the mall. We look in every single clothes store that is inside until Tanya finally finds a dress. And that isn't an understatement; Tanya made us go inside _every_ store.

Once Tanya was happy about finding her outfit, she turned her mission onto me and helping me find the perfect dress and pair of heels. We finally find a pair of sparkly red high heels and a black dress with the pattern and colors of a peacock on it. A thick black piece of material runs around the waist of it, a silver, blue and gold sparkly broach connected to it.

Once we were done shopping, we headed back to Kate's to wind down. We all had a cup of tea and relaxed in the living room.

"Bella?" Kate addresses me.

"Yeah?"

"Are you avoiding Alec?" she asks quietly.

I let out a sigh before answering her. "I know it's mean, but I don't know what to do."

"Just talk to him," she says softly.

"Wait – I thought you guys already talked. Why are you avoiding him?" Tanya asks confused.

"Because I'm embarrassed about the whole thing, and I feel horrible," I reply quietly.

"I already told you he said he's fine about it."

"I know, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I lead him on," I mumble.

"He didn't know about Edward. If he did, he wouldn't have kissed you," Kate says softly, placing her hand on top of mine. I look up at her and she gives me a reassuring smile.

"Alright, I'll talk to him," I reply through a sigh.

Tanya, Kate and I continue to talk about our night out, laughing hysterically as we each fill in the parts one of us didn't remember. When Tanya tells Kate about my Harry Potter reference, she cracks up. I swear, she sounds like a hyena when she looses control of her laughter, which causes me and Tanya to go into hysterics as well.

Tanya and I head home just after 9:30pm. When we get home, I hang up my new dress and put my shoes at the bottom of the closet. I have a quick shower because I already had one in the morning. I change into my pajamas and head into the living room. Tanya is sitting on one of the kitchen stools, drinking a cup of tea. She looks over at me when I sit beside her. She smiles at me politely before spinning her body around to face me front on. I do the same.

"Try not to worry too much about the Alec situation – he isn't a bad guy."

"I know," I reply quietly before meeting her eyes. A yawn escapes my lips.

"I think it's time for bed," she says through a light laugh. A smile forms on my lips before I laugh too.

"Night," I say before hopping off my stool and kissing her on the cheek.

I crawl into bed and lay there for a while, my mind running a million miles an hour. My mind drifts to Edward. What happened between Alec and I made me realize how much I really miss him. I let out a sigh filled with sadness before rolling over into the fetal position.

I eventually fall asleep, my thoughts filled of Edward.

* * *

Hey everyone! This chapter a month after Bella has been in Cali with Tanya. Hope you all enjoy it. **A HUGE THANK YOU TO MY BETA JENNDUR,** she beta'd this AND chapter 27 VERY fast. She is seriously amazing xx

Thank you to everyone who has added this story to their** alerts** and **favourites.** And thanks to everyone who has been** reviewing.** I recently got a review that opened my eyes a lot about where my story was heading, and it helped me a lot. I am now very happy about my timeline and where the story is going. So to that person,** thank you.** You know who you are xx

natalee-x


	27. When the Time is Right

**Edward's outfit at hospital: **http : / i52 . tinypic . com / 34obk3m . jpg (remove the spaces)

* * *

_**Chapter Twenty Seven**__ – (When the Time Is Right)_

_**EPOV**_

_one month later_

When I first hung out with Jake, I was going back to his to hit up the coke, but by the time we got back to his house and he pulled it out, all the memories of when I used to use came rushing back into my mind. How fucked up I was, how disappointed Esme and Carlisle were, how angry Carlisle was with me and how scared for me Alice, Jazz, Rose and Em were. I couldn't do that to them again. I may be in a fucked up place right now, but I'm not that fucked up that I'd turn to drugs again.

"_Are you okay, man? You look like you've seen a ghost," he asks, concerned._

"_Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just, not really keen to do it anymore. Sorry," I mumble._

"_Dude, you did not just apologize for not wanting to do coke."_

"_Shut up."_

"_I told you before – I'm not gonna pressure you into doing anything if you don't want to do it," he says seriously._

"_Right-o."_

"_You idiot," he says through a laugh._

"_Fuck you." I say before flipping him off._

"Yo, dude. Are you still there?" Jake asks, snapping me out of the memory.

"Sorry, what?"

"I was just saying, I still can't believe your dad gave you back your car keys."

"Oh right, yeah."

Carlisle eventually gave me back my keys to the Volvo after I apologized to him and promised I'd never do what I did ever again. He admitted he'd rather me be able to drive somewhere than me storm out of the house again and walk along the streets where I could end up getting hit by a car.

"I thought he was your uncle?" Lauren asks.

"He is."

"Wait, what?" Jake asks confused. I roll my eyes at him before answering.

"Technically he's my Uncle, but he legally adopted me when I was younger after my mom died, so I guess he's my dad… On paper, or whatever. Why are we even talking about this? Who cares?" I mumble annoyed.

"No need to get snippy, we were only curious," Lauren replies defensively.

"Yeah, well, it's none of your business anyway, is it?" I scold her.

"Do you always have to be such a prick towards me?" she asks, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Calm down, babe," Jacob says, rubbing her arm before looking back at me. "Sorry about your mom, man. I know how you feel," he adds.

"Thanks," I reply quietly.

I can feel Lauren's gaze scorching into my face, so I meet her eyes. She smiles at me slyly before seductively licking her lips and winking at me. I inwardly cringe before narrowing my eyes at her and then quirking my brow. I cannot believe she's silently hitting on me in front of Jacob while she's sitting in his lap.

"God, you are the most disgusting girl on the earth," I groan, frustrated.

"Woah, man. Don't talk to my girl like that," Jacob says.

"Yeah, Edward, don't be an asshole," Lauren taunts in a sickly sweet tone.

"An asshole. Me? You're the pathetic bitch who keeps pinning after my cock behind his back."

"What?" Jacob asks, his voice filled with shock and anger.

"He's totally lying," she replies nonchalantly.

"No, he's not," Jessica pipes up.

"Jessica!" Lauren shrieks at her.

"What? Jacob is nice, he doesn't deserve to be treated the way you treat him behind his back. You've been after Edward since he moved here, and you tried pouncing on him the minute you knew Bella wasn't coming back – Oh. Sorry, Edward," she cuts herself off, looking at me with an apologetic expression on her face. I give her an appreciative smile which makes her visibly relax.

"You are such a dog," Lauren says to Jessica, her tone icy.

"Get out," Jacob says, his voice thick with rage.

"Excuse me?" she asks, shocked.

"You heard me. I'm nobody's second choice and I'm sure as hell not gonna be fucking used. Now get the fuck out of my house."

"You are such a prick. No wonder Bella wanted nothing to do with you," she says to me as she climbs out of Jacob's lap.

"Will you just shut up and fuck off?" I yell at her.

Her eyes go wide with shock before she narrows them at me. She looks over to Jessica and if it's even possible her eyes narrow even more. She looks like she wants to murder Jessica right then and there and I'm actually scared for her safety.

"Don't ever think about talking to me ever again," she says to Jessica, her tone harsh.

Jessica leans further into the seat, as though she wants it to swallow her whole. Lauren storms out of the room, slamming the door on her way out.

"Well fuck, it looks like I'm walking home then," Jessica mumbles quietly.

"I can give you a lift," I tell her.

"Really? Thanks," she replies quietly.

"She is seriously fucked up. I can't believe that," Jacob says through a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry, I should have said something earlier," she mumbles quietly.

"It's not your fault, Jess. Don't stress it," Jake reassures her.

"Thanks, Jake," she says relieved.

Jess and Jake continue to talk with each other while my mind wanders. I'm seriously so fucking sick of Lauren and her bullshit. She always manages to bring Bella up every time I fucking speak to her, which just irks me to no end. I need to find something to get my mind of shit. And I seriously need money so I can escape this prison of a town sometimes.

"Man, I need a fucking job," I complain.

"Random much?" Jess says through a laugh.

"Yeah, well. I was just thinking about it."

"I know you're feeling pretty shitty right now, so why don't you work at the hospital? Be a big brother for the sick kids that are fatherless or have no siblings. It's difficult to focus on your own problems when you're helping sick kids in need," she says passionately.

"Are they even hiring? And don't you need qualifications for that kind of thing?" I ask confused.

"No, I don't think you need qualifications to do it. You just get a police background check on you, I think? Your uncle is the chief doctor, isn't he? Ask him about it."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, he is. I'll ask him."

"And if that doesn't work, my dad owns the hospital, so he's kind of your uncle's boss, anyway. I'll put in a good word for you too, if you want?" she asks.

"Really? That would be fucking perfect, Jess. Thanks."

"It's no problem at all. Seriously, think of it as an apology for being such a bitch with Lauren," she says seriously.

"Consider yourself forgiven," I reply, giving her a genuine smile for the first time since I've met her.

* * *

Tuesday is the first day back at school. As soon as I get there, I'm called to the principal's office. I make my way down the hall to the front office.

"You can go straight in, Edward. He's ready to see you," Mrs. Cope tells me kindly.

"Thanks," I mumble before walking down to Mr. Greene's office. I knock lightly on the door and he calls out for me to come in. I walk inside and sit in the leather seat across from his table. What principal has leather seats in their office?

"Hello, Edward. How were your holidays?" he asks politely.

"They were okay, Sir. How were yours?" I reply politely.

"They were fantastic, thank you. Now, I assume you know why you're here?"

"Yeah."

"Then I also assume you know that you're being suspended from school for a month," he says nonchalantly.

"A month. Isn't that a bit long?" I ask shocked.

"You could have seriously hurt Mr. Crowley."

"But he started it!" I say exasperatedly.

"Now, now, we aren't in kindergarten."

"No. I'm heading into my senior year; I can't get suspended for a month. How long is he getting suspended for?"

"You should have thought about that before you decided to act like a pair of animals from the jungle in the cafeteria," he says sternly before as adding, "And Tyler is suspended for the same amount of time you are."

"Right," I mumble.

"I've called your father to let him know what's going on."

"Great," I sigh.

"Well, he seemed to already know about the fight, Edward. I'm sorry it had to come to this. You're free to go now," he says kindly. I nod my head at him before standing and walking out of his office.

I head down the hall to my locker. As I turn the corner, I see Jessica standing at her locker by herself, looking a little scared. She looks up as I continue to walk down the hall. She smiles at me politely before walking up to me.

"Thanks again for the ride home yesterday," she says quietly.

"No problem," I reply, smiling at her kindly.

"I spoke to my dad. He said the hospital needs more Big Brother volunteers for the sick kids and he's willing to give you a shot."

"Really? That's awesome. Thanks, Jess."

"You're welcome. He wants you to start tomorrow though, or maybe he just wants you to go in and get acquainted first," she replies quietly.

"That's alright. Hey, are you okay?" I ask concerned.

"Yeah, just had a run in with Lauren. She pretty much said to never expect anything from her ever again, and that I can't sit with her, Mike and Tyler anymore… So I've practically lost all of my friends," she mumbles sadly.

"You don't need her, seriously. And Tyler is suspended, so he won't be sitting with them anyway. You can sit with my family."

"I'm pretty sure they hate me. Hang on, why is Tyler suspended?" she asks suspiciously.

"Uhh, because of our fight in the cafeteria before the holidays. I am, too."

"Well, I can't sit with your family if you aren't gonna be there," she says through a sad sigh.

"Don't worry, Em and Jazz will look after you."

"It's not them I'm worried about," she mumbles.

"If you just apologize to Alice, she'll forgive you. But she'll tell if you're being genuine or not…"

"Okay. Thanks, Edward," she replies quietly. I smile at her politely before she turns around and walks away.

I walk the rest of the way to my locker, emptying my books into my bag. I text Em, Jazz, Alice and Rose, telling them to expect Jessica to sit with them at lunch and not to be a bitch to her because if they do, I will fuck their shit up. As I expected, Em and Jazz are fine about it, Rose is pissed off and said _'Don't expect me to talk to her_,_ if I can't be a bitch to her.' _Then I got bombarded by a million texts from Alice and her suspicions as to why Jessica needs to sit with them, and why I'm not going to be there. I replied by saying, _'just be fucking nice to her and I'll explain everything when you get home.'_

* * *

As soon as I walk through the front door, I hear Carlisle call out, "Edward, can you please come into my office."

I make my way to his office and walk in hesitantly. He raises his brow at me and gestures for me to sit down. I sit down in the chair across from his desk and wait for him to speak.

"So, I got an interesting call today."

"Can we not beat around the bush?" I ask pointedly. He raises his brow before speaking again.

"You and I both know I already know what happened before school ended, and I told Mr. Greene that, but he still wanted to suspend you."

"No shit," I mumble. He gives me a pointed look causing me to roll my eyes at him.

"It's also come to my attention that you've been hanging out with Jacob Black a lot. I know his reputation, and I hope you aren't getting back into that kind of crowed again… You've had problems with drugs in the past, they aren't good for you, son. I'd hate to see you throw everything away because you're involved yourself with drugs again," he says concerned..

"I know that, I've heard a million lectures you've given about how bad drugs are for you and that's why I'm not doing it… Just because Jake does it in my presence, doesn't mean I'm doing it too. And I'm not throwing my life away. I've got a job being a Big Brother for the sick kids in the hospital. Jessica's dad owns the hospital, so she put in a good word for me when I said I wanted a job."

"Wow. That's great, Edward. I'm glad to see you focusing on helping other people. At least you'll have something to do while you're suspended."

"Um, I still have to do school work."

"I know that, Edward," he replies through a chuckle. "You said Jessica. Is that Jessica Stanley? Wasn't she horrible to Bella?" he asks confused.

"Yeah. But she was hanging with the wrong crowd. She isn't friends with Lauren anymore, and she feels bad about being a bitch… She's not that bad actually," I tell him honestly.

"Wait – so you're telling me you haven't touched any drugs at all since you've been hanging out with Jacob Black? Because I'd hate to see you in that state again, and it would hurt Esme a lot."

"Yes. I'm telling you I haven't touched anything. He isn't as bad as everyone thinks he is. He isn't pressuring me to do anything… And Esme is the closest thing I have to a mother now, I wouldn't disappoint her like that. Or you," I reply quietly.

"Well I'm glad to hear that. I'm happy you're getting your life on track. I just want you to know you can come to me or Esme about anything. I know everything that's happened with Bella lately hasn't helped anything –"

"Carlisle, I'm fine. She kept to herself and never told me anything," I say, cutting him off.

"Now, don't be like that. From what you told me in the beginning, her mother seemed to be a soft topic for her? Don't go making assumptions until you know the whole story, son."

"How am I meant to know the whole story when I can't even get in contact with her and don't know where she is?" I mumble.

"Life is all about timing, Edward. The unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable becomes available, the unattainable... Attainable. Have the patience, and wait it out. You'll have the answers you want when the time is right."

Who does he think he is? The wizard of wisdom?

"Right. Well, thanks for the pep talk. I'm going to bed," I tell him as I raise up out of my seat.

"Edward –"

"Seriously, Dad. I'm fine," I groan. I glance over at Carlisle as I realize what I just said. His expression is filled with pleasant shock, the corners of his lips turning up into a smile. He nods his head at me and I take that moment to get out of there.

I don't normally call Carlisle 'Dad' unless I get frustrated or overwhelmed. I think maybe I should call him it more often. I mean, it seems to make him happy. I know he'd never ever try to replace my dad, but I never really knew my father anyway. Carlisle has always been the father figure in my life, so I don't see why I should feel weird about calling him Dad.

As soon as Alice get's home, I hear her running up the stairs before she bolts through my door. I let out an annoyed sigh before explaining everything that happened at Jacob's with Lauren and Jessica. I explain how she outed Lauren to Jacob, and how she told me how bad she feels about being mean to Bella and I. Thankfully for me, Alice seemed happy with my explanation and agreed to look after Jessica while I wasn't at school. She also promised she'd make Rosalie come around and get to be nice to Jessica as well. God, love her.

* * *

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock blasting. I groan as I roll over and turn it off before throwing it to the ground. I don't need to get up ridiculously early anymore because I'm suspended, and Jessica said her dad didn't want me at the hospital until after lunch.

"Stupid piece of shit," I mumble before rolling over and going back to sleep.

I wake up at 10am. I drag myself out of bed and head for the shower, letting the hot water wake me up. Once I'm done in the shower, I change into a pair of black jeans and navy blue polo shirt with my black leather jacket. I head downstairs and make some toast for breakfast. Carlisle has already gone to the hospital and Esme is out meeting some of her clients. I put my toast on a plate and take it into the lounge room. I watch the morning cartoons while I eat my toast to pass the time.

By the time twelve comes around, I'm beyond bored. Fuck it, I'll just go in now. I grab my keys and head out the front to my car, locking up the house on my way out. I turn on the radio before pulling out onto the main road. I pull into the hospital parking lot – I usually park my car next to Carlisle's, which usually pissed a lot of people off. But I want to avoid that today, so I park in the normal lot.

Carlisle is in the front area when I walk through the doors.

"Is Mr. Stanley in yet?" I ask as I approach him.

"Yeah, he is. I thought you weren't coming in until after lunch?"

"I got bored," I confess. He rolls his eyes at me before walking around the front desk and picking up the phone.

"Hi, William. My son, Edward Cullen, is here to see you. Yes, okay. Alright, I'll bring him up."

I look at him expectantly and don't move until he speaks.

"He was impressed you came in early."

"Really?" I ask proudly.

"Yes. I'll take you up now, come on," he replies before walking a head of me.

When we step inside the elevator, Carlisle presses the number five. I guess Mr. Stanley's office is on the 5th floor. When we reach the floor, Carlisle leads me down the hallway to the third last door on the left. He knocks on it lightly before walking in. I follow behind him, my nerves suddenly overtaking me.

"Carlisle, good to see you," Mr. Stanley greets him before looking to me. "You must be Edward," he adds, smiling at me politely before extending his hand. I take his hand in mine and shake it firmly.

"Nice to meet you, Sir," I greet him politely.

"Likewise. My daughter has told me a lot about you. I must say, I'm very grateful for you looking after her. I never did like that Lauren friend of hers," he says nonchalantly, his brows knitting together when he mentions Lauren.

"It's no problem at all, Sir."

"Please, call me Will."

"Well, I'll leave you two to it. I've got patients to see," Carlisle says, smiling kindly at Will and patting me on the back before walking out.

"So what made you want to be a Big Brother for some of the kids?" Will asks curiously.

"Jess actually suggested I do it. I've been going through a pretty rough time this past month and she said I should take my mind off it by helping sick kids," I tell him honestly.

"That's my girl, always thinking of others," he says proudly.

"I'm extremely grateful for this, Sir. Really. I'm in a bit of trouble with school at the moment and I'm not proud of it, so I'm glad you're giving me a chance."

"An honest man, I like it," he jokes before walking back behind his desk and opening his drawer. He pulls out a few files and walks back over to me.

"These are a few of the children that need a Big Brother. I'm warning you now, there are burn victims, children with cancer, and children who have been abused by their parents."

"Oh. That's horrible," I reply sadly.

"Yes, well, they need some fun in their life, so that's what this program is about. We'll need to do a police background check on you of course, and if that clears, you'll visit some of the kids in the hospital. You'll eventually be expected to take them out on excursions and such."

"My brother and sister were abused before Carlisle and Esme adopted them, so I know all about that situation."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but that's good because you'll know what you'll be dealing with. A lot of these kids need something good to look forward too, they need a friend and someone they can trust and confide in."

"Sounds great," I say enthusiastically.

"Okay, well, I've got a few things to do so I'll leave you in here to look over some of the files. I'll be back in a few hours," he says, handing me the files before clapping his hand on my back and walking away.

"Alright. Thanks, Sir."

He turns around with an amused smile on his face. "Edward. Call me Will," he says through a light chuckle. I give him an apologetic smile before he opens the door and walks out.

I walk over and sit down in the seat across from his desk to look over the files. There are five files I have to look through, and I only have to pick two children to be a Big Brother to. I feel bad for having to only pick two children, but the two that stick out to me the most are a young red headed girl named Victoria and a young blonde haired boy named Riley. Victoria is ten years old. She was in a house fire and got burned pretty severely. Her father passed away in the fire and her mother is now suffering depression because of it. Riley is six years old and is a victim of child abuse. His mother died when he was five, that's when his father began to physically abuse him.

Will comes back into his office just as I place the other files on his desk.

"So have you looked through them?"

"Yeah, I've got my two," I reply happily.

"Oh really? Which children?"

"A girl, Victoria and a boy, Riley."

"Oh, don't let Vicki hear you call her Victoria, she'll try to beat you up," he says through a chuckle.

"Do you know all the kids?" I ask intrigued.

"Of course I do, Edward. I finance the Big Brother program," he replies kindly.

"That's really great of you."

"Thank you. I do the best I can." He smiles at me politely before picking up the other files and placing them back in his drawer. "Okay, lucky for you Vicki and Riley are only two wards apart, so we don't have to travel throughout the entire hospital," he adds through a chuckle.

He picks up their files and walks out of his office. I follow close behind him, closing his door on the way out. We head for the elevator, he presses the number three and I can't help but wonder who I'll be meeting first.

"We'll be seeing Riley first," he says, answering my silent question. Is he a mind reader or some shit? That was fucking creepy.

The elevator doors open when we arrive at the third floor. He turns left and walks down the hall. Everyone greets him cheerfully, some kids are walking around the ward and he stops to greet them and ask them how they are. He truly is a kind hearted man. He stops walking when we arrive at room 24/E, so I'm guessing this is our stop. I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat before taking a deep breath. He opens the door and we walk inside.

Riley is sitting in his bed, watching TV. He reminds me so much of Jasper.

"Hello Riley, how are you this morning?" Will asks cheerfully.

"Fine," Riley replies quietly.

"This is Edward, he's a part of the Big Brother program."

"Hi Riley, it's nice to meet you," I greet him kindly.

"You picked me to be your little brother?" he asks confused.

"I sure did. I hope that's okay?" I ask him as I sit in the chair next to his bed.

"Why?" he asks, his voice quiet and vulnerable.

"Why do I hope its okay, or why did I pick you?" I ask him attentively.

"Why did you pick me?"

"Because you remind me of my big brother."

"What's his name?" He asks curiously.

"Jasper."

"Was he hurt by his daddy too?" he asks sadly.

"He was, unfortunately," I tell him honestly.

"Does your daddy hurt you too or does he only hurt Jasper?"

"My daddy is in heaven. But the daddy Jasper has now is my uncle. He doesn't hurt him, it was his old daddy that did it," I reassure him.

"What does that mean?" he asks, confused.

"Well. Jasper has a twin sister, Rose. They ran away from their parents, and then my Aunt Esme found them in a homeless shelter. She and my Uncle Carlisle adopted Jasper and Rose."

"Is he nice?"

"You might have met him, Riley. He works here. His name is Dr. Cullen," Will says.

"I know Dr. Cullen! He's _really_ nice," Riley says enthusiastically.

"Well, there you go," I say through a light laugh.

"I'm sorry to steal Edward away from you, Riley, but he needs to go meet someone else now," says Will.

"You'll come back, right?" Riley asks hopefully.

"Absolutely. I promise," I reassure him, which causes his lips to from into a huge grin. I stand up and walk over to his bed. I hold out my hand to him and he takes it, shaking it eagerly.

"Bye, Riley. I'll see you soon." I smile at him before walking out of the room with Will.

"You were great with him," Will praise's me.

"Thanks."

We head back to the elevator, this time Will presses the number two. It doesn't take long to arrive. We turn right instead of left and head down the hall. Will greets the children the same as he did on the ward Riley was on. He continues to stop and talk to them and ask how they are. I notice that a lot of the children have scars on their arms and face. This must be the burn ward. Will stops at the room 12/C and walks inside. Vicki is sitting on the bench next to the window, reading a book. She looks up as we make our way towards her.

"Hi, Vicki. How are you today?" Will greets her.

"I'm good, Will. How are you?" she asks, her manners in full tact.

"I'm excellent, thank you, sweetheart. This is my friend, Edward. He's a part of the Big Brother program," her face automatically lights up into a grin as soon as those words leave his lips.

"Hi Vicki. It's nice to meet you," I greet her kindly.

"He told you not to call me Victoria, didn't he?" she asks through a giggle.

"Busted," I reply through a laugh.

"That's good, because I _hate _being called by my full name," she says seriously.

"You remind me of a friend of mine," I state sadly.

"Was your friend a girl? Was she your _girlfriend_?" she asks suspiciously.

"Yes, she was."

"She isn't anymore? What happened?" she asks, fascinated. Man, this little girl is wise beyond her years and overly perceptive. Damn it.

"Uh, she moved away, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here to see you."

"So you're gonna be my big brother, huh?" she asks, amused.

"Sure am. If that's okay with you."

"I've been waiting for ages to get out of this hospital, so it's more than okay. Are you sure my burns won't freak you out?" she mumbles quietly.

"Of course they wont," I reply, giving her a reassuring smile and receiving one back from her. She stands up off of the seat and walks over to me. She indicates with her finger for me to bend down to her level so she can whisper in my ear.

"Do you think they'll let us dye my hair?" she asks, her voice extremely quiet.

"Why do you want to dye your hair?" I ask, puzzled.

"You aren't meant to say that out loud after I whisper it to you!" she complains before going back to her seat.

"Oops, sorry," I say through a chuckle. "But seriously, why do you want to dye it?" I add.

"Because it's _red,"_ she replies as though it's the most obvious thing on earth.

"I like the color of your hair. I think it suits you beautifully," I tell her honestly.

"Really?" she asks suspiciously.

"Really," I reply with a smile on my face.

"_Victoria,_ you can't dye your hair," Will says, emphasizing her full name.

"Don't call me that!" she exclaims, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Sorry," he says with a sly smile on his face. "We have to go now, sweetheart."

"Already?" she whines.

"I'll be back soon. I promise," I reassure her.

"Okay," she sulks before focusing all of her attention back on her book.

When Will and I head back down to the first ward, he leaves me with Vicki and Riley's files. He tells me he'll give me a call about the next time I should come in. He said he's glad I decided to become apart of the program because there haven't been many volunteers lately, and the fact that I was great with Riley today means that I was meant to do this, which really touched me. I'll have to thank Jessica again for suggesting I do this. I met Carlisle at the front desk and let him know how everything went. He's happy I chose Riley because he knows his case fairly well. He laughed when I told him how Riley reacted when I told him Carlisle was my uncle.

When I look up at the clock, I see that it's after 3:30pm. I tell Carlisle I'll see him at home and then I'm on my way.

* * *

When I walk through the front door I glance at the clock on my phone, It says that it's after 4:00pm. On the way home,I stopped at the grocery store on the way home to grab some pop tarts, because Emmett, being the fat oaf he is, ate the last packet to himself and didn't replace them. I walk into the kitchen and cook them, having them as a late lunch. Man, they are so good. Whoever invented chocolate pop tarts deserves a gold medal. Once I'm finished eating, I head up to my room to watch some movies. I settle for Transformers.

Alice comes into my room after Transformers finishes and just as I'm about to put Iron Man into the DVD player. I quirk my brow at her as soon as I take in her demeanor.

"Hey, Edward," she greets me in a quiet voice.

"What's wrong?" I ask suspiciously.

"Why do you think something's wrong?"

"Because I know you, so I know when something is bothering you. Spill it," I say as I walk over to her and make her sit down on the edge of my bed with me. She takes a deep breath before reaching into her pocket and pulling out an envelope.

"It's from Bella," she says quietly.

"What?" I ask shocked. She proceeds to hold the envelope right in front of my face until I take it from her.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asks uncertainty.

"No." I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat before placing my hand over hers. "Stay. Please?" I add before removing my hand off hers and opening the letter.

_To my dearest Edward,_

_I know you probably_ _thought__ you'd never hear from me. Let me just start out by saying how so_,_ so extremely sorry I am for leaving the way I did_._ I know now that what I did was wrong and I should have explained to you what I was feeling and what I was going through. I'm sorry for disconnecting my number. I was confused and scared and I didn't know what else to do. I had a lot of insecurities and fears, but I'm a lot better now. I just want you to know that I'm safe, and I'm okay. I know I have a lot to explain, but I don't want to do that in a letter._ _Hopefully I'll see you again one day so I can explain in person. Even though I know I deserve it, I hope you don't hate me. Please know that I do love you. I always did and I always will. I really am sorry._

_Love always, Bella x_

"Wow." Alice says shocked.

"I need water," I say before standing up and walking out of my room, Alice hot on my heels.

"Are you okay?" she asks concerned.

"I don't know," I mumble as we make our way downstairs and into the kitchen.

I don't know what to feel. At first I felt relief that she's okay, but it still hurts so much that she left me. That she pretty much refused to have any contact with me, acted as though she didn't exist any more. How can she think that just sending me a letter out of the blue is okay? Even if it is apologizing for what she did. _'Hopefully I'll see you again one day so I can explain in person' -_ What is that meant to mean? That she's going to come back some day? What? She expects me to just wait around for her to come back and explain everything? Jesus Christ, I can't handle this shit right now. I can feel Alice's gaze burning into the back of my head as I pour myself a glass of water. I head into the living room and stop dead in my tracks when I see Jazz, Em and Rose are all in there, obviously waiting for me expectantly. I walk across the room and sit down in the couch.

"Did you give it to him?" I hear Jazz ask Alice.

"I think he's in shock," she whispers back.

"I'm right here. I can still hear you," I say quirking my brow at Alice. She smiles sheepishly before sitting up and putting her hand out.

"Can I see it again?" she asks quietly. I watch her carefully as I hand her the letter. She turns it over in her hands before sitting back in the couch and letting out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asks her.

"There's no return address on it, just a postmark saying it's from California," she says disappointed.

"Yeah, I figured that much out for myself." I reply sarcastically.

"What did you expect him to do, Alice? Run to wherever she is?" Rose asks disbelievingly.

"What's so wrong with that? You still love her, don't you?" Alice asks, turning towards me.

"She left for a reason, Alice. Me hunting her down wouldn't help anything," I explain.

"How do you know that? She said she's gotten better. She knows leaving like she did was wrong. She must feel horrible..."

"And what about how I feel?" I ask, hurt clear in my voice.

"I know you were upset when she left –"

"That's an understatement," Rosalie mumbles, cutting her off. I narrow my eyes at Rosalie before standing up from the couch and walking away.

"Edward, wait!" Alice yells as she jumps up and runs after me. She grabs my wrist, causing me to stop walking. I turn around to face her, waiting for her to continue. "She told you she loves you. Why are you being so stubborn about this?" she asks quietly.

"Because I told her I loved her, and she packed up her shit and left with no explanation at all. I know she may have a reason, but I can't waste my time on waiting for her to write me another letter explaining why, or waiting for her to come back. I have to get on with my life," I tell her honestly.

"But she told you she's sorry, she knows she shouldn't have done that," she pleads with me.

"I know that, Alice! But I can't keep holding onto her! If she ever does comes back, then I'll deal with it then. I don't have it in me to just forgive her like nothing ever happened," I reply exasperatedly.

"I don't expect you to forgive her straight away," she says quietly, handing me back the letter. I take it from her hand carefully before replying.

"Good, because I can't," I say through a sigh before turning my back on her and walking back upstairs to my room.

* * *

The next day I tuck the letter in my pocket before grabbing my car keys and heading down the reservation to hang out with Jacob. I call in to the gas station and buy a few packets of chips and a four pack of Energy drink for us to munch on while I'm there. I carry everything down to his home made garage shed when I get there. We chat about how I'm in the Big Brother program now, and what he's been up to. He's working on two old motorbikes one of his neighbors was throwing out for the council pick up. I think everything is fine until Jacob calls me up on my mood. I should have known better than to get that shit past him.

"Dude, what's up?"

"What?" I ask, feigning innocence.

"Don't try that shit with me, man. I've know you for a while now, so I can tell when something's on your mind and you aren't all here," he says through a laugh.

"I got a letter from Bella," I mumble, reaching into my back pocket, pulling out the letter and handing it to him. He takes it from me, his face covered in shock as he reads it.

"Duuuude," he says before letting out a whistle.

"Mmm. I ended up getting into an argument with Alice," I reply quietly.

"About the letter?"

"Yeah. She's so demanding that I forgive Bella like nothing ever happened or some shit. She doesn't seem to understand I can't just do that… I know I sound like a pussy, but she fucked me up bad, and I can't just forget that," I say through a sigh. I glance over at Jacob to see he's looking at me with pity. Just fucking great. I roll my eyes at him before leaning against the wall.

"I know I tried to hook up with Bella at first." Did he seriously just go there? I narrow my eyes at him to let him know exactly how I feel about him saying that shit. He rolls his eyes at me before shaking his head. "I'll admit I was pretty jealous that you two got together, but I can see you still care about her a lot. And from what I read in the letter, she seems to feel really horrible about what she did, man," he says honestly.

"God, you're exactly like Alice," I groan in frustration.

"Look, I could see it in her eyes when I would talk to her that she was damaged on the inside. I know she hurt you a lot, but Alice is right. You never know, Bella could turn up back in Forks any day now that she knows leaving was the wrong thing to do. Do you really want to treat her like you don't even care about her if she does come back?" he asks seriously.

"I wouldn't do that to her. I just, I don't know what I'd do if I saw her again," I reply through a sigh.

"Just take shit one step at a time if she does come back, life is all about timing."

"Now you sound like fucking Carlisle," I mumble.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he replies, a shit eating grin on his smug fucking face. Prick.

* * *

Hey guys. Thank you for all sticking with the story. I appreciate it a lot.

Thanks to my Beta** Jenndur** for Beta'ing this so quickly, you can thank her for the chapter being on time for once :P

Thank you to everyone who have added this story to their** alerts** and** favourites, **and thank you to everyone who has been** reviewing.** Keep 'em coming! :)

**natalee-x**


	28. Facing Your Fears

_**A/N: **__Outfits in this chapter are the links below. Don't forget to remove the spaces._

**Bella's going away party outfit: **http : / i54 . tinypic . com / o5b1p5 . jpg**  
Tanya's going away party outfit: **http : / i55 . tinypic . com / 9zy2h1 . jpg

* * *

**Chapter Twenty Eight – (Facing your Fears)**

**BPOV**

* * *

I wake to the pulsing sound of the alarm on my radio clock. I groan in frustration as I roll over and turn it off. Thank god today is my last day working at the diner and then I'm on vacation leave. A yawn escapes me as I roll onto my back and rub my eyes. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before dragging myself out of bed. I pull my sleeping shirt off over my head as I walk into the bathroom, still half asleep. I take the rest of my clothes off before turning on the shower and hopping inside. I rest my forehead on the tile walls, a content sigh escaping my lips as the water hits my back and rushes down the rest of my body, loosening my muscles.

Once I've finished showering, I wrap a towel around my body and walk into my bedroom. I put on my bra and panties, throwing my towel over my desk chair before walking over to my closet. I pull out my works shirt and skirt off their hangers and put them on. I pick up my black vans from the bottom of my closet and put them on as well. I grab my handbag that's hanging on the back of my door and my truck keys, phone and lip gloss, putting them inside before walking out of my room and out of the front door.

* * *

"Excuse me, miss?" I look up to the customer sitting in a booth, I smile at her politely as I walk over to her,

"How can I help you?" I ask.

"I don't mean to be a bother, but I ordered a cappuccino, not black coffee," she says kindly. My eyes go wide as I look over my order notes.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I'll fix that right up for you, ma'am," I tell her, picking up the coffee.

"Oh, it's okay, dear. A simple mistake," she replies kindly, giving me a reassuring smile before I walk away.

I head into the kitchen, emptying the contents into the sink. I bite my bottom lip as I feel Garrett's gaze on me.

"Something wrong with the order?" he asks.

"No, no. I just stuffed up, sorry. It won't happen again," I reply quietly, completely embarrassed.

"Hey, it's alright, Bells. It's your first mistake. Don't worry about it," he says reassuringly. "What did you stuff up anyway?" he asks.

"She ordered a cappuccino, not a black coffee," I mumble, annoyed with myself. I lean back against the counter and pinch the bridge of my nose, letting out a deep breath. My head has been all over the place the whole time I've been at work.

I can't stop thinking about the letter I sent to Edward. I don't know if it was the right or wrong thing to do. What if it just makes him feel worse about my departure? And because all I can think about is him, my head is just constantly filled with all these memories of him and the time we spent together. I replay the time I left, over and over again in my head, trying to figure out where I went wrong. He knew my heart more than I did – he was always comforting me and making me feel better about myself. I wish I could change how I reacted when he told me he loved me. I wish I could go back in time and wrap my arms around him, hold him close, and tell him I love him too. More than anything else in the world. But I can't.

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as the tears well up in my eyes and threaten to fall. I wipe at my eyes quickly before Garrett can notice.

Too late.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks, concern clear in his voice. "It was a simple mistake, Bells." He adds before walking over to me and rubing his hands up and down my arms, trying to comfort me.

"No, it's not that," I reply, my voice shaky from emotion.

"What is it?"

"My heads just all over the place today. I'm sorry," I mumble.

"It's okay. Why don't you head home early?" he asks, lifting my chin up with his forefinger so I can meet his gaze. I give him a small smile and nod my head before taking another deep breath. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close, squeezing me to him. I wrap my arms around his waist, returning the gesture as a sigh of relief escapes my lips.

He goes back to making the other orders while I make the lady's cappuccino. I carry it out to her carefully and place it in front of her. I smile kindly at her and she returns the gesture. I must have red splotchy eyes or something because she looks at me with concern before speaking.

"I hope I'm not the reason that made you cry, sweetheart."

"Oh no, it wasn't you. I'm just going through a few personal things at the moment," I reassure her.

"Well, I hope I didn't make things worse," she says empathetically.

"You didn't," I reply, smiling at her before walking away.

I remove my apron as I make my way out to the back room. I hang it up on the back of the door. I grab my hand bag and head into the kitchen to say goodbye to Garrett before I leave. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and another quick hug. The lady I served waves at me as I make my way through the diner. I return the gesture before walking out the front door and heading to my truck.

* * *

I go straight to my room when I arrive home, walking straight pass Tanya sitting on a stool in the kitchen. I get changed into a pair of grey tights and black hoodie jumper. When I walk back out to the kitchen, Tanya looks at me, her eyes filled with concern. I make a cup of tea before sitting on the couch. She stays seated on her stool.

"Why are you home early? What's wrong?" she asks softly, worry clear in her voice.

"My head was all over the place. Garrett sent me home," I mumble.

"Oh. Do you want to talk about it?"

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before turning on my side to face her, resting my head on the couch.

"Ever since what happened between Alec and I, I've been thinking about Edward, a lot. And about the letter I sent him. How do I know if he got it? Or if he even bothered to read it? I didn't put a return address on there. What if he hates me?" I ask her, my voice quiet.

"You seriously need to calm down. I'm sure he doesn't hate you."

"But what I did to him was horrible. I hate that I put him through exactly what I was put through. Charlie was right; I'll always manage to drive everyone away, I always screw everything up," I mumble.

"Bella, it isn't your fault that your mother left you and your father, no matter what your father may say. I doubt he means any of the things he says. He's hurting because his wife left him and his daughter. Yeah, it's fucked up that he started neglecting you and blaming you but no father should ever lay his hand on his child. But I'm sure deep down inside he still loves you and is just blinded by his pain," she says sincerely before walking over and sitting next to me on the couch. She places her hand on top of mine and gives it a light squeeze. I look up at her, meeting her gaze. I nod my head at her, silently telling her to continue.

"As for Edward, it's clear to me that he still means a lot to you and you miss him. Like I told you before, you've been hiding away from your fears. The only way out is to face everything you're running from. So, If you want, we can go back to Forks so you can face your demons. I know you're doing okay and you're happy here, but you won't be one hundred percent happy unless you work everything out with Edward," she adds.

"But I can't just up and leave everyone here – Garrett is like a brother to me now. And Kate, she's helped me so much. I can't just leave," I reply, my voice quiet. I rest my head on her shoulder. She wraps her arm around me so I'm leaning on her chest.

"They'll understand. And it's not like you won't be in contact with them at all. You'll call and text them, write to them. We can even visit them and they can come to Forks," she says encouragingly.

"What am I meant to do about my living arrangements? I honestly can't stand being anywhere near my father or that house, not that he would even notice I'm back. I doubt he even realized I was gone until someone mentioned it to him. He stopped acknowledging my presence a long time ago."

"Don't worry about the living arrangements, you're not going back alone, remember? I'm coming with you. My aunt owns a little cottage in the forest that we can live in while we're there," she says confidently.

"You didn't tell me you had family in Forks," I reply, shocked.

"Yeah, I forgot to mention that, not something I really like to talk about. Family drama and all that, and anyway, I'm sure that's not true about your father. Maybe he didn't find out until a few days later? You said he was having Thanksgiving at Harry's house and then spending the weekend down there."

"Yeah, maybe. But I highly doubt it. Are you sure about this, Tanya? I don't want to be a burden to you," I say through a sigh.

"Bells, would you please stop the whole 'I'm a burden to everyone' bullshit? I'm positive, okay? Don't worry about it. And besides, I'm keen to meet this Edward boy," she replies waggling her eyebrows at me. I roll my eyes at her before a smile forms on my lips.

"Okay," I reply quietly before asking, "When do you want to leave?"

"We can leave in a few days, alright? We're both on vacation leave from the diner so everything is sweet."

"Wow. So soon?" I ask quietly.

"I don't see why not. Look, Bella, Gazza and Kate will understand that you need to do this," she says matter-of-factly. I let out a long sigh before nodding my head in agreement. She gives me a reassuring smile before standing and walking back over to the kitchen.

Tanya and I order in Thai food and stay in for the night. We watch some DVDs and drink our cups of tea. We talk about how we're going to tell Kate and Garrett that I'm going back to Forks, and Tanya is coming with me. We organize how we're going to get there, whether to fly back or go back in my truck. I have to admit it'd be easier to go by car with someone else to drive once in a while this time. Tanya said if we go by plane, then Garrett can drive down my truck when him and Kate come to visit us. She reassures me there's no doubt in her mind that they'll come visit soon, so I won't be without it for very long. Her uncle is apparently pretty wealthy as well – he owns like, eight cars or something and won't mind lending us both one. She said he's so generous, he'd probably even give them to us to keep if we wanted them.

I'm not too sure about that though, I love my truck and I want it to be with me when I go back to Forks. Tanya told me to sleep on the idea. She's quite happy to drive down if I want too.

* * *

When my alarm goes off the next morning, I can't stop the butterflies that flutter into my stomach. Today, Tanya and I are meeting up with Garrett and Kate to tell them about our move to Forks. Tanya told me not to worry and that she'll do all the talking, but I can't help but feel like I'm letting more people down from the decisions I'm making in my life. I decided that I want to drive back in my truck. Tanya was fine with it and said it'll be fun to road trip it there. A smile forms on my lips at the opportunity to see Demetri again. He was such a nice guy.

Ever since Tanya and I agreed to go back to Forks, it's like my spirit has automatically lifted, it's as though I left a part of me behind when I left and it knows I'm coming back for it. I can't even begin to explain how much I miss Alice, my best friend. I hadn't had a best friend since I was 14 after me and Jessica drifted apart, until Alice came along. It's like something about her that just bought me out of my stupor and I actually started to have a good time and feel happy again. I miss Emmett's silly jokes, Jasper's compassion and even Rosalie's bitterness towards me.

But most of all, I miss Edward. I know I have no right to because of what I did, but I will do whatever it takes to save the love that we had, even if he wants nothing to do with me after what I put him through. I'm going to fight for him.

When I think back on those days, I realize I pretty much had it all and I just threw it away like it meant nothing to me. All because I got scared, but nothing else matters to me, now that he's not in my life anymore. I should have just stayed there, but then I guess I would have never met Tanya, Kate and Garrett, They're all amazing and mean so much to me, they helped me work through my issues and helped me become the person I am today. They helped me face me fears and problems.

I may not be able to change my past, but I sure as hell can change my future. And right now, my future means nothing to me without Edward and the rest of the Cullens being in it with Tanya.

* * *

Tanya rang Kate last night and told her that she and I need to see her and Garrett today. She started to freak out that something was wrong and then Garrett got on the phone and demanded Tanya to tell him what was going on. I glance over at Tanya as we pull into the diner's parking lot. She gives me a reassuring smile and places her hand on top of mine, giving it a light squeeze.

"You ready?" she asks.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I mumble.

We both climb out of the truck and make our way into the Diner. Garrett and Kate are both sitting at a table, waiting anxiously. As soon as we walk in, Kate stands and makes her way over to us.

"What's going on? What's wrong?" she asks anxiously.

"Calm down, Kate. Nothing is wrong. Bella and I just want to talk to you guys."

"It didn't sound like nothing last night," Garrett says sternly.

"We just have some news," I add quietly.

"What is it?" Kate asks.

"Can we sit down or something?" I ask politely.

"Of course, honey," Kate says, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and leading us to a booth. Garrett disappears into the kitchen and brings out a tray of coffees, placing them on the table before sitting down next to Kate.

"So, what's this all about?" Garrett asks.

"Well, I've been thinking a lot lately, about the decisions I've made in my life. You both know about my past, my mom abandoning me, my situation with Edward. What happened with Alec made me feel horrible. I've been missing Edward so much. And the rest of his family, especially Alice. I love you guys so much too, so I feel bad about leaving, but I promise I'll come back and visit, I'll write to you and call you."

"Leaving? What do you mean you're leaving?" Kate asks confused.

"I'm moving back to Forks," I reply quietly.

"And I'm going with her," Tanya adds.

"What?" Garrett asks shocked.

"She's like my little sister, Gaz. I don't want to leave her. And I have family in Forks that I haven't seen in a long time. I need to sort out some shit with them."

"What about us? We're your family," Kate says sadly.

"Like Bella said, we'll write and call and come back and visit. You guys can come down to Forks as well. It's a nice place," Tanya says reassuringly, reaching across the table and holding Kate's hand in hers. "Look, Bella needs to do this, okay? She can't hide away for the rest of her life. She needs to deal with her mistakes and stop running from her fears," Tanya adds.

"You're sure about this, Bells?" Garrett asks.

"I'm sure," I reply, smiling at him.

"You're like a little sister to me too, I'm gonna miss you. And so are the Friday night customers," he says through a chuckle.

"I'll miss you too," I tell him, my voice sad.

Tanya slides out of the booth and grabs my hand, pulling me out too. Garrett and Kate stand up.

"We aren't leaving for a few days," Tanya tells them.

"Well when you do, I can rent out your apartment for you," Garrett tells her.

"Really? You are too amazing, Gazza. Seriously," Tanya says before engulfing him in a gigantic hug. He returns the gesture.

"We'll have to have a going away party too!" Kate says excitedly, reminding me so much of Alice, making me feel like my decision to go back to Forks is the right thing to do.

Tanya and I spend half of the day with Kate and Garrett before ringing Alec and Felix to ask if we can see them so we can tell them the news.

* * *

When Tanya and I meet up with Alec and Felix, Alec pulls me aside, wanting to talk privately.

"Are you moving back to Forks because of me?" he asks quietly.

"No, of course not!" I tell him, my tone shocked.

"I'm so sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, I didn't mean to. I meant what I said about only being your friend. I'd hate to be the reason why you've decided to leave," he says, his voice sad.

"It's not because of you in a bad way. What happened between us just made me realize how much I love and miss Edward. And Alice, his sister. She was my best friend. I miss her beyond words," I tell him honestly, my voice quite. I feel his gaze on me so I meet his eyes. I smile at him sadly before taking his hand in mine. "I don't want you to think I'm moving away because I'm uncomfortable around you, because I'm not. You're a great friend, Alec, and all of you guys are like my family now. But I belong back in Forks with Edward, Alice, and the rest of the Cullen's. They're my family too," I add, my voice cracking on the last sentence.

"Okay," he replies quietly before closing the distance between us, pulling me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his waist and squeeze him tight.

"I'm so sorry about everything," I mumble into his chest.

"It's not your fault. You were heartbroken and confused," he replies quietly, rubbing my back soothingly.

"I'll miss you," I tell him softly, pulling out of our embrace.

"Hey, we're not saying our goodbye yet. We've still got your goodbye party," he says, a smirk on his face.

"Ergh, I hate parties," I mumble.

"Just don't drink a liter of alcohol and you'll be fine," he jokes. I laugh lightly before shaking my head at him. He winks at me before kissing me on the forehead and walking away.

Felix was extremely sad to hear that Tanya was leaving with me. It made me feel horrible to see all the people that Tanya would be leaving behind. Tanya picked up on my mood and reassured me that everyone will be fine, and that she is one hundred percent sure that she wants to move with me.

* * *

Tanya and I drove back to the apartment to continue packing up our stuff. Kate came over to help us for a few hours, before leaving because she had to organize our party, which just caused both Tanya and I to roll our eyes at her. Me and Tanya are in my room packing up some of my things when I bring up my mother.

"What am I meant to do about my letters to Mom?" I ask, worried.

"Just write her another letter telling her you've moved back to Forks," she replies confidently.

"Are you sure that's all I'll have to do?" I ask uncertainly.

"Well, I guess you should say you worked out your problems, blah blah blah," she says, waving her hand around above her head.

"Okaaay," I reply through a laugh.

I stand up and pull out a pad of paper and a pen out of one of drawers that are not yet packed up. I sit back down on my bed, tapping my pen on the bad of paper, trying to think of what to write. Tanya places her hand on top of mine, and looks at me pointedly. I bite my bottom lip and smile at her sheepishly. She lets out a light laugh before shaking her head at me. I look back at the pad of paper as Tanya continues to pack away my things.

_Hi, it's Bella again. _

_Tanya convinced me I can't run away from my past and that I have to face it, which is why I'm moving back to Forks in a few days.  
I won't be living with Charlie again; I'll be living with Tanya in a little cottage that her aunt owns.  
The address is #04 Quimby St. Forks, Washington. 98331.  
I hope to hear from you soon._

_- Bella,_

I hand Tanya the letter, watching her closely as she reads over it. She smiles softly at me before handing it back to me.

"It's perfect," she says softly. I smile at her gratefully before placing it in an envelope.

I head out into the kitchen to make Tanya and me a cup of tea. I place the letter in our mail pile that sits on the coffee table in the dining room. A yawn escapes my lips as I wait for the kettle to boil. Once the teas are ready, I head back to my room. Tanya smiles at me gratefully as I walk into the room. We continue to sip our tea as we sit side by side silently, packing away my things. We eventually move to Tanya's room and get half way through her closet and bookshelf before we give up and call it a night. I have a quick shower and place our china in the dish washer before climbing into bed, exhaustion taking over me as soon as my head hits the pillow.

* * *

Garrett opened the Diner tonight for our going away party. He only let all the regulars know about it, so we didn't get a million randoms in one place. I pin half of my hair back and put a few curls in it. I decide on wearing a simple navy blue dress, which has a white lace pattern on the top half of the dress, a brown belt with a bow in the middle situated around the waist. I wear my navy blue gladiator styled pumps before heading into the bathroom to apply my make up. I keep it light as always.

I meet Tanya in the living room, and she grins as soon as she take in my appearance.

"You look great," she tells me.

"Thanks, so do you," I reply honestly, a smile on my face. Tanya is wearing a tight red dress that is low cut across her chest with thick straps. It travels to just above her knee and she is wearing a pair of black Prada multi strap Pumps. Her hair out and curled.

"You ready to go?" she asks.

"Yeah, I'm ready," I reply quietly. "As much as I don't want to say goodbye," I add in a mumble.

We make our way downstairs and outside to my truck. The drive over is quick and there are already a few people inside the diner. I can see Jane with her friends Heidi, Chelsea and Marcus. They're regulars at the diner on Friday nights. Tanya and I climb out of the truck and walk over to the diner, hand in hand, both of us filled with excitement and sadness. Jane runs over to us as soon as we walk through the door, engulfing Tanya in a tight hug. When she pulls away, she has tears in her eyes. I never noticed how close Tanya and Jane were before. I smile sadly at her as she turns to me. She returns the gesture before embracing me in a hug as well.

"Hey, hon. How are you?" she asks as she pulls away.

"I'm alright, a bit sad to say goodbye to everyone. But I know my decision is for the best," I tell her confidently.

"I'm gonna miss you and Tan so much! Especially your singing on Friday nights," she replies, her voice sad.

"I'll miss you too, Jane," I reply, squeezing her hand and smiling at her.

"You'll come back and visit right?" she asks hopefully.

"Of course we will, Janey. Don't be silly," Tanya says through a laugh, throwing her arm around Jane's shoulders and leading them further into the diner. I follow behind them and smile kindly at Heidi, Chelsea and Marcus. Tanya and I talk to them for a few minutes, telling them we'll come back to visit and we'll miss them too.

"How did you guys get in here, anyway? Garrett's not here?" I ask confused.

"He gave me his set of keys," Jane replies.

"Oooh, okay," I reply.

"Where are Garrett and Kate, anyway?" Tanya asks.

"Picking up Charlotte and Ben," Heidi replies.

"Where's the music?" Chelsea asks.

"I'll go put it on," I reply, smiling at them before walking away.

I walk around the front counter and into the store room, looking through the stack of CDs until I find the 2010's Top 40 hottest pop songs. I place it in the CD player and press play, Sexy Chick by David Guetta ft. Akon comes on throughout the speakers. I walk back out to the diner to see that Garrett and Kate have arrived with Charlotte and Ben. Garrett spots me and his lips turn up into a grin before he runs towards me, his arms open. I laugh as he makes his way over to me and picks me up in a giant bear hug. I wrap my arms around his neck as he spins me around. I can't stop myself from giggling loudly as he places my feet back on the ground.

"Hello, to you, too," I greet him sarcastically.

"I'm having as much fun with you as I can. I did the same thing to Tanya, don't act as though you don't like it," he jokes.

"You're right, I can't deny that," I reply, shaking my head at him as I continue to laugh.

"Come on, I think Tan wants you to dance with her," he says, taking my hand in his and leading me over to where Tanya, Kate, Charlotte and Ben stand. I think it's really sweet that they came – they were here every Friday night I sang.

"Hey, Char," I greet her before embracing her in a hug.

"Hey, Bells. Sucks you and Tan are leaving. I'm gonna miss hearing you sing," she replies kindly.

"Thanks. I'll miss seeing you guys in the crowd."

"Well, you'll have to make sure you come back and visit. And when you do, you'll have to hop up on stage and sing a few songs," Ben chimes in.

"Of course, I wouldn't have it any other way," I reply honestly.

"Friday nights are definitely going to be boring now," Char adds jokingly.

"Hey! They are not," Garrett whines at her.

"I don't know about that. Bells is a pretty big star now," Ben says, a smile on his face.

"Yeah, who are we gonna watch sing on Friday nights now?" Char asks playfully.

"I promise we'll come visit, and I'll call you and text you so much, you'll end up getting sick of me," I reassure her.

"I'd never get sick of you," she replies seriously.

"Oh, I don't know about that. She can be pretty annoying," Tanya jokes.

"I can be annoying? Your way of waking me up in the morning, is pouncing on top of me in my bed," I scold her, slapping her arm lightly before smiling at her. She laughs and slings her arm across my shoulders and pulls me into her side.

"Whatever. You love it," she jokes.

"No. I'm pretty sure I don't. Unless you have a coffee waiting for me on my bedside table."

"I always have a coffee waiting for you in the morning," she says through a sigh. I poke my tongue out at her, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

A few hours later, Tanya, Kate, Char, Jane, Heidi and Chelsea are all dancing to the song Evacuate the Dancefloor by Cascada. The bell on top of the front door chimes as someone enters the diner. We all look over to see that Alec and Felix have arrived. Alec smiles warmly at me and I return the gesture. Tanya runs into Felix's arms. He wraps his arms around her and spins her around, just as Garrett did to me.

"Hey, Bells. How are you holding up?" Alec asks politely.

"I'm good, I think. It hasn't really sunk in yet, I don't think?" I tell him honestly.

"I think Tanya is pretty upset," he replies, glancing over at Tanya and Felix. They're still wrapped up in each others arms. Tanya's body is shaking, indicating that she's crying. I can't stop the tears welling up in my eyes.

"Hey, are you okay?" Alec asks concerned.

"Yeah. I just hate I'm the reason she's leaving everyone," I reply sadly.

"She's a big girl, she'll be fine. She knows what she's doing," he reassures me.

"I just hate seeing her upset," I mumble.

"She feels the same about you," he says kindly, rubbing my arm in comfort.

"Thank you," I say quietly.

I look into his eyes. He smiles softly at me before running his hand down my arm and placing his hand in mine, squeezing it lightly. "For what?" he asks.

"For being so kind and understanding. For everything," I tell him, sighing before wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He squeezes me back and rubs my back.

"You're welcome," he replies, his voice quiet.

Once Tanya has got composure of herself, she and Felix walk the rest of the way into the Diner. I greet Felix with a hug and thank him for being a great friend. He smiles kindly at me before kissing me on the cheek and taking my hand in his, squeezing it lightly before letting it go. He stays by Tanya's side the rest of the night, spending as much time with her as possible before we leave.

Char, Jane and I end up back on the dance floor, singing and dancing to the song Tik Tok by Kesha, while all the boys chat and Heidi and Chelsea gossip by themselves in one of the seating booths. Heidi and Chelsea come over when the song 3 by Britney Spears comes on. When the song ends, they decide to head off and Jane goes with them. Tanya and I hug them all goodbye and promise to give them a call when we arrive in Forks.

Alec and Felix decide to leave as well, so it's just Me, Tanya, Garrett, Kate, Charlotte and Ben left. Tanya has a few tears in here eyes when she says goodbye to Felix, but she doesn't cry hysterically like she did when he first got here and few hours ago. I hug Felix and then Alec, giving them both a kiss on the cheek before they leave.

Kate and Charlotte end up dragging Garrett and Ben onto the dance floor when Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus comes on. Both of the boys look like they're in physical pain and want to murder someone. That is, until they eventually get into the song and begin to sing along with it as they dance. Tanya and I laugh hysterically together as we watch them.

Tanya grabs my hand and leads me over to them, so we can dance too. I think she just realized how late it's getting and that we'll all have to go home soon. I wrap my arms around her neck and she slides her arms under mine, wrapping them around my waist. She holds me close and I bury my face into the crook of her neck. She lets out a deep sigh before planting a kiss on my forehead. I squeeze her tightly before stepping out of the embrace, but keeping my hand still entwined with hers. I can't express how glad I am Tanya is coming back to Forks with me. She's my best friend – she gives me courage and makes me face my fears. I wouldn't be who I am now if it wasn't for her.

We continue to dance until it's time to go. Tanya and I say our goodbye to Char and Ben. We give them both a hug.

"We'll just wait outside," Char says, tugging on Bens arm. I smile kindly at her as she drags him outside.

Kate and Tanya turn to face each other, both of their eyes well up with tears before Tanya envelops Kate in a hug.

"I'll miss you, Tan," Kate mumbles.

"I'll miss you too, Katie," Tanya replies, her voice cracked from sadness.

I can't stop the tears from falling from my eyes at the sight before me. I glance over at Garrett and he closes the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me. I slide my arms under his and wrap them around his waist, hugging him tightly.

"I'll miss you, baby girl. You're like a little sister to me. If you need anything, ever, you call me, okay?" he says seriously.

"I will, I promise," I reply. "I'll miss you too," I add through a sob. He smiles at me as I pull out of the embrace. I return the gesture before wiping my eyes. I look over to Kate and Tanya to see they were both watching Garrett and I, both of them still crying.

Tanya and I run past each other as we swap places and I embrace Kate in a hug as Tanya hugs Garrett.

"Who am I going to hang out with during the week now?" Kate asks as she hugs me tightly, "It won't be the same without you, Bells," she says sadly.

"We'll still visit, and like I said to Char, we'll call and text you all the time," I reassure her, my voice muffled by our embrace. We both step out of our hug and hold hands. I look over to Tanya and Garrett, both of them are still hugging and Tanya's body is shaking with sobs. Kate and I walk over to them and wrap our arms around them. Tanya winds her arm around mine and entwines her hand with mine. We stay there for a few minutes before we finally pull apart. I look up at Garrett to his cheeks are wet and his eyes are a hint of red. Garrett and Kate kiss both Tanya and I on the cheek before we walk outside. Tanya and I see Char and Ben hugging each other as they lean up against Garrett's car.

Me and Tanya wave goodbye to them before hugging Garrett and Kate again and walking away, our hands still entwined.

* * *

When we get home, we pack up the rest of Tanya's things. We decided to leave most of the stuff in the kitchen, dinning room and living room here, since Garrett is going to rent out the apartment for us. We took a few movies though, and our favorite coffee cups from the kitchen. I walk down to my room to have a quick shower and change into my pajamas. Tanya does the same before coming down to my room and crawling into my bed. She always does that when one of us is sad, drunk or if one of just doesn't want to be alone.

"Do you think I should call Alice?" I ask her uncertainly.

"That's your best friend, right? And Edward's sister?" she asks.

"Yeah," I reply quietly.

"I don't see why you shouldn't," she replies nonchalantly.

"Okay. Can you please pass me my phone then? It's on the bedside table on your side."

She reaches over and grabs my phone, rolling back towards me and handing it to me. I smile kindly at her before taking it out of her hand. I bite my bottom lip as I scroll through my contacts. When I got a new Sim Card I put in all the contact from my other Sim. That's really selfish of me, I know, but I just wanted to have their numbers.

"Just call her," Tanya says, rolling her eyes at me. I let out a deep sigh before clicking on Alice's name. My contacts are set alphabetically, so she's right up the top of my list. I press the green call button and put the phone up to my ear.

She answers on the fourth ring.

_"Hello?"_ she answers, her tone sounding confused.

"Hi, Alice? It's Bella," I reply softly.

_"Bella!" _she exclaims._ "Oh my god, where are you? I know you're in California because Edward got your letter and the postmark said California, but you didn't write a return address, which I think upset Edward pretty badly. But I guess he's okay, he's still upset about you leaving though. Anyway, how are you? Why did you leave? Are you coming back? Please say you're coming back."_ she adds, breathing heavily as she runs out of breath.

"Wow, Alice. I see you're still having that problem with breathing when you talk," I tell her through a laugh before continuing. "Yes, I'm in California. I'm glad he got my letter, I feel so horrible about everything, but I'm good. I'm better now. I can't explain why I left over the phone, it would take too long, but I'll explain in person, which I guess answers your last question. I'm coming back to Forks."

I pull the phone away from my ear as she squeals with excitement.

_"Oh my god, I can't tell you how happy I am! Wait until Edward hears this! I told him to never give up on you! I knew you would come back eventually!"_

"Well, thanks for not giving up on me. How is he? I know he must be hurting badly. And how's Jazz, Em and Rose?" I ask, my voice quiet.

_"They're good. They're all great! Em and Rose are graduating soon, so they'll probably be off to collage then. And Edward was um – let's just say he wasn't good. He's a lot better now, though. He's apart of the Big Brother program at the hospital. Dad is very proud of him."_

"That's great. I'm so happy for all of you. God, I've missed talking to you, Ali," I tell her, my voice quiet.

_"I've missed you so much too, Bella!" _she replies sadly.

"It's alright, B. You'll see her again soon," Tanya says.

_"Who's that?"_ Alice asks intrigued.

"That's my roommate and now best friend, Tanya. She's coming to Forks with me."

_"I thought I was your best friend,"_ Alice says sadly.

"You are! You'll always be my best friend, Ali. Tanya is my other best friend," I reassure her.

_"Okay,"_ she replies uncertainly.

"Alice. You haven't been replaced. I could never, ever replace you," I tell her seriously.

_"I believe you. I can't wait for you to come back. When are you coming?"_ she asks excitedly.

"We leave tomorrow. So I'll be there in a few days."

_"So soon? Yay! I can't wait!"_ she exclaims excitedly.

"I'm sorry, Alice, but I should probably get some sleep," I tell her reluctantly.

_"Oh. No, that's okay. I'll see you soon! You'll text or call me when you get back right?"_ she asks uncertainly.

"Of course I will."

_"Alright, well, night Bells. Tell Tanya I said goodnight too."_

"Alice says goodnight," I tell Tanya.

"Tell her I said goodnight, and I'll see her soon," she replies

_"You don't have to tell me, I heard her. Bye Bells,"_ Alice says through a giggle.

"Bye, Ali," I reply before hanging up.

"Well, that was interesting. I could hear her and I don't even have the phone near my ear," Tanya says through a laugh.

"Yeah. Alice gets kind of, really high pitched when she's excited."

"You don't say."

"She's great, though. You'll love her," I tell her honestly.

"I look forward to it. But right now, I want some sleep," she says seriously.

"Night, Tan," I say as a yawn escapes my lips. Tanya laughs lightly to herself before leaning over and kissing me on the cheek.

"Night, Bells," she says before rolling over and closing her eyes.

I do the same, a smile forming on my face as I think about seeing Alice and Edward again. It isn't long until sleep overcomes me.

* * *

Hey everyone! First of all, I'm so sorry about the late update... I've been mega busy and I'm in Melbourne now! :) So I haven't had time to write or post anything. Secondly, I'm working on chapter 29 right now, so hopefully that will be ready by next Wednesday! Thirdly, thank you to everyone who have been** reviewing** and thank you to everyone who have added this story to their **alerts** and **favourites**, it really means a lot to me :)

If you want to follow me on Twitter my username is **Natalee_x**

**- Nat xx**


	29. Back to Where it Began

_**A/N:**__ The description of the cottage belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I do not own it at all._

**Cottage Grove; Ro River** – http:/www . city-data . com/picfilesv/picv20535 . php (remove the spaces)

**Bella's outfit when she leaves Portland, OR: **http:/i53 . tinypic . com/vikxvd . jpg

**Here is a link of the characters I picture: **http:/tinypic . com/r/314wcue/7

**Chapter Twenty Nine **_–__ (Back to Where it Began)_

**BPOV  
**

* * *

Tanya and I wake up at 7am to get an early start on heading back to Forks. We both have a shower to wake ourselves up. It takes half an hour for us to move our ten big boxes with all of our stuff in them, into the back of my truck. I didn't have much when I traveled down here in the first place, so it's mainly all of Tanya's things and a whole heap of books, paintings and ornaments I fell in love with and insisted we take.

We head up toward Stockton, leaving not long after 7:30am. Tanya wanted to be the one to drive first, and it takes six hours to get to Stockton from Hermosa. So we decide to take a pit stop every two and a half hours. Not that I did that on my way up, but Tanya is a complete road safety freak, so she's pretty much forcing me to do it. We drive 157 miles to Lost Hills, stopping to stretch out our muscles and get some energy drinks. We don't stay for long, only fifteen minutes.

When we leave, Tanya wanted to continue driving but I wouldn't have it.

"You are not driving anymore. It's my turn," I tell Tanya, taking a quick glance at her. She rolls her eyes at me.

"Don't be such a child; I'm perfectly fine to keep driving," she insists.

"I don't care, we said we would switch every two hours. And it's my truck anyway."

"Fineeee," she whines, poking her tongue out at me.

"Now who's being a child," I tease her, shaking my head at her as a snort escapes me.

I continue to head north, heading up to Stockton. It's only three hours away so we might as well just stop there. Tanya begins to complain about me not stopping after two hours, which causes me to laugh hysterically. She narrows her eyes at me before laying back further into her seat.

"Are we doing another pit stop soon? I'm starving!" she asks impatiently. I laugh lightly at her before a smile forms on my lips.

"Yeah, we're not that far away from Stockton, we'll stop there."

I pull up to a small park that is across the road from a series of take away shops. Tanya and I grab our wallets before I lock up my truck. We cross the road quickly, Tanya in more of a hurry to get food into her stomach than I am. It's nearly midday, and I know how she gets when she doesn't eat at the usual time. She becomes a crabby little bitch.

We head into a small pie shop. Tanya and I both decide to have a cheese and bacon pie with a small carton of iced coffee with it. We pay the old man at the counter before walking back to the park where I parked my truck.

We sit on one of the picnic tables, watching the ducks swim in the small pond, and the families having picnics together. There are a few young couples walking along the path, hand in hand – kissing each other and exchanging whispered conversations. I let out a sad sigh before pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rest my chin on my knees. I can feel Tanya's gaze on me, I glance over at her to see her eyes are filled with concern. She reaches over and places her hand on my arm.

"You okay, babe?" she asks concerned.

"Yeah, I guess," I reply quietly.

"What's wrong?"

"Just really miss Edward," I mumble.

"You'll see him soon," she reassures me.

"You don't know that. He may not want to see me," I tell her sadly.

"Well, you'll have Alice and everyone else back," she says confidently.

"Yeah," I reply, a smile forming on my lips at the thought of seeing Alice again.

Tanya takes my hand and pulls me into her side, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"We should get going," I tell her.

She pulls out of the embrace and steals my keys out of my hand before smirking at me and running to the driver's side. I roll my eyes and shake my head before a grin forms on my face and I run to the passenger side, eager to continue our journey back to Forks.

* * *

Tanya is yawning by the time we end up in Medford. I give her the directions to Motel 6, the place I stayed at when I left Forks. She pulls into the parking lot and turns off the engine. We both grab our overnight bags before jumping out of the truck. She locks up the truck before throwing me the keys as we head over to the front office. I see the woman who looked after me the time I came here. As we get closer, I can see that she's filling out a stack of paperwork again. I knock on the door lightly and she looks up, smiling brightly at me before gesturing with her hand for Tanya and me to come inside. I return her smile and walk up to the desk.

"It's nice to see you again, dear. Who's your friend?" she asks kindly.

"Hi. It's good to see you too. Still doing paperwork, I see," I joke, laughing lightly before I continue, "This is my friend, Tanya."

"Nice to meet you, sweetheart," she greets Tanya.

"Nice to meet you too," Tanya replies politely.

"Now what can I do for you? Just a room for the night again?" The lady asks us.

"That would be great," I reply.

She smiles at Tanya and I before she begins to tap on the computer keyboard and opening one of her draws, handing me the key to my room. I look down at her to see that it's the same room as last time.

"Have a nice night," she says kindly.

"You too," Tanya and I reply in unison before smiling at her and walking to our room.

Tanya and I are both exhausted so we don't waste any time getting ready for bed. Tanya has her shower first, so I take the opportunity to put my phone on charge and text Alice.

**Hey, It****'****s Bella.  
We****'****re at a Motel in Medford.  
Should be back tomorrow night.**

**- B **

Tanya walks out of the bathroom just as I put my phone back down on the bedside table. She crawls into bed as I head into the bathroom to have my shower. I keep my shower quick as a yawn escapes me. Man, I'm exhausted. Once I've finished showering, I change into my pajamas. I hang my towel on one of the chairs and tie my hair up into a messy bun before climbing into bed. Tanya has already fallen asleep. I pick up my phone to see a reply from Alice.

**That****'****s great!  
Omg, I can****'****t believe you****'****ll be back tomorrow, that****'****s so soon!  
I can****'****t wait to see you. I miss you so much :(**

**- A **

A smile forms on my lips at her excitement. I write a quick reply before settling down in bed, my phone resting on my chest.

**I miss you too, Ali.  
Going to bed now though.  
We'll have to meet up the next day though.  
Is that okay? xx**

**- B **

**Yeah, that's fine :)  
Night, Bella.**

**- A**

A laugh escapes my lips at her enthusiasm. God, I've missed her terribly. I can't wait to see her again.

* * *

I wake up to Tanya stroking my fringe away from my forehead.

"Hey, sleepy head," she greets me.

"Hey," I reply, my voice still thick with sleep. "What's the time?" I ask, a yawn escaping my lips. She smiles down at me and chuckles lightly to herself.

"It's nearly nine thirty, we have to be out of the room by ten. So, chop chop," she says, snapping her fingers as she gets off the bed.

I groan before pulling the sheets back and climbing out of bed. I get changed and pack up my stuff while Tanya orders room service, leaving me with a mini box of coco pops with some milk. I eat it quickly, then grab my bag and follow Tanya out of the door. We hand in our room key and thank the lady for having us.

"It was really nice seeing you again, honey," she says sweetly.

"You too. Maybe I'll come back again one day," I tell her.

"You're welcome here anytime, dear."

"Thanks," I reply, smiling at her before turning away and meeting Tanya at my truck.

It's 10:15am by the time I pull out of the parking lot. We continue to travel north, our conversations small and light, but comfortable. We talk about what we're going to do when we get back to Forks, discussing whether I'll go back to school or just get a job instead. Tanya is pretty pushy about me going back to school and finishing. I'm going to be so behind, thinking about all the make up work I'll have to do scares the hell out of me. Tanya is set on getting a job as soon as she can.

"Why don't you go to the community collage? Study or something?" I ask her.

"And what am I going to study?" she asks.

"What are you passionate about?" I ask her honestly.

"Well, I've always wanted to own my book store that's also a coffee shop."

"That sounds great. So, go do business studies."

"Really? You think I should do it?" she asks uncertainly.

"Definitely. You're smart, you're great with customers, and you would be a great boss," I tell her honestly.

"I'll think about it," she replies quietly.

It's around 12:15pm when we pass a sign that says 'Welcome to Cottage Grove, Oregon.' It's a beautiful place. I drive past the Cottage Grove Hotel, making my way down the street to find some place for Tanya and I to get some lunch. I pull over to the side of the road and park my truck. We grab our handbags and head down the street. We find a little diner that reminds of us of our work back home.

"God, I miss Gazza already," Tanya mumbles as we walk through the door.

"Me too," I reply, smiling at her sadly. She lets out a sigh before returning the gesture and heading over to the front counter.

We both order a chicken burger with chips on the side. We sit in a comfortable silence in a booth by the window that looks out onto the street. The waitress comes over about 20 minutes later, placing our orders in front of us.

"Is there anything else I can get you girls?" she asks.

"Can I please just have a cup of tea?" I ask kindly.

"Same here, thanks," Tanya adds, smiling at the young girl politely.

"Of course, I'll be right back," the waitress replies, returning Tanya's smile before walking away.

"So, do you want to hang around for a few hours or get straight back onto the road?" Tanya asks, before popping a chip into her mouth.

"I think we should stick around for a bit, just relax and stuff."

"Sounds good," she replies, winking at me before eating another chip. "Where are we heading next, anyway?" she adds.

"Portland. There's a hotel I want to stay at. I stayed there on my way up here – I met a guy there. His parents own the hotel."

"Oh, yeah? And does this guy have a name?" she asks mischievously

"Demetri," I tell her. My lips automatically turning up into a smile.

"You seem fairly fond of him," she says, quirking my brow at him. I roll my eyes at her.

"It's not like that at all. He was a very nice guy."

"Mmmmhhm."

"Tanya," I say pointedly, grabbing her attention. "You know I'm in love with Edward," I add quietly.

"I know that. Stop being so sensitive, I was only mucking around."

"Yeah, well, it hurts when you say things like that. Especially because of my situation with Edward."

"Right," she says softly. She reaches her hand across the table and places it on top of mine. She squeezes my hand lightly, causing me to meet her gaze. "Sorry," she adds, smiling apologetically at me. I give her a small smile in return and squeeze her hand back.

"You know me, no filter from my brain to my mouth," she jokes through a chuckle. I laugh lightly before a small smile forms on my lips.

"That I do know," I joke in return.

"Hey girls, here's your teas," the waitress says before placing them down on the table.

"Thanks," Tanya and I say in unison. She smiles at both of us before walking away again.

We eat the rest of our meal, having a comfortable conversation. Tanya asks about Demetri. I tell her how he was really sweet and gave me breakfast on the house.

"God, he is so into you," she says through a laugh.

"No he isn't!"

"Yes he is, are you blind?"

"Okay, maybe he was a little interested," I mumble.

"Dude, he gave you a free breakfast, and didn't want to miss saying goodbye to you. He was more than a little interested."

"Oh, God." I groan. "Won't stopping in there again give him mixed signals?" I ask

"It shouldn't… I mean, it's just a hotel, you've gotta stay somewhere. Maybe just talk about Edward or something? Say you're heading back home because you missed your boyfriend."

"But when I stayed there last, I looked like a complete wreck because I cried so much about leaving… What if he says something like "why are you going back if he's the reason you left in the first place?"

"Did you even tell him anything about why you wanted 'a new scenery'? she asks confused.

"No…"

"Well, then everything will be fine. He can't ask questions about things he doesn't know about, Bells," she reassures me. "And if he acts all weird toward you at all, I will rough him up, okay?" she adds jokingly, winking at me.

I let out a sigh of relief before a giggle escapes me. I pick up my cup of tea and lean further back into my seat, finishing it off before placing it back on the table.

"You finished?" I ask her. She nods her head at me.

"Yep. You wanna go for a walk or something?" she asks, sliding out of the booth.

"Sure," I reply, sliding out of my side of the booth as well.

We walk over to the front counter to pay for our meal. Tanya links her arm with mine as we walk out of the shop. We walk down the street to the national park. We decide to take a walk down a small bush track. Further down the track, we come across a small place with a sign that says Row River. It's a beautiful place, a long river surrounded by trees and beautiful green bushes and rocks cascaded down the right side. The river flows down under a bridge that is built into the pathway.

We sit down on top of a small picnic table, leaning on the back of our hands with our legs entwined as we face the river. We get a few odd looks by some of the people who walk by and two young girls who beam at us before yelling out "Gay pride!" in unison.

"Hell yeah!" Tanya yells out before grabbing my face and pecking me on the lips and doing a fist pump in the air.

"What the?" I ask confused. The young girls hoot and cheer with happiness before walking away.

I continue to sit there in shock, which causes Tanya to laugh hysterically.

"Sorry, babe, I couldn't help myself," she says through a chuckle.

"No, it's alright. I didn't think about how our positions may look to people on the outside. I guess two best friends can't sit like this without people thinking they're lesbians these days. We must look amazing as a couple or something."

Tanya stares at me, a small smile on her lips. She shakes her head before her smile turns into a full blown grin and she begins to cackle with laughter again. She clutches her stomach as she leans forward, trying to get control of her laughter.

"Will you calm down? You're going to fall off the table!" I scold her through my giggles.

"Shit, you are so funny sometimes!"

"Why, thank you," I reply, a grin on my face.

"Oh my god, I can't breathe," she groans through her laughter.

"Deep breaths, sweetheart," I reply, patting her on the back before jumping off the table.

"What are you doing? You can't just leave me here!" she says hysterically.

"Calm your tits, woman. I'm not leaving you anywhere."

"Oh."

"You fool," I tease through a giggle.

"Shut yo mouth," she replies, her voice a ghetto tone before jumping off the table as well.

"Ergggh, it's nearly three thirty, we should probably get back on the road."

"Okie dokie," I reply, smiling at her before we make our way back the way we came. When we get closer to my truck, I run ahead of her.

"What are you doing?" she calls out to me.

"I'm driving!" I yell back, before picking up my pace knowing she'll soon be hot on my heels.

"No way! You drove here!" she exclaims.

"I don't care, it's my Truck!"

"You can't keep playing the 'it's my Truck' card, you unfair bitch! Give me the keys!' she complains as she catches up to me.

"No," I reply, holding the keys out of reach from her.

"Yes!" she says, narrowing her eyes at me before lurching for the keys.

"Get away, you beast," I say through a giggle before swatting her hand away.

"I am not a beast, now give me the keys!"

"Portland is only two hours away. We've had a three hour break, I'm fine to drive," I tell her smugly.

"I hate you," she says through a huff, flipping me off before walking around to the passenger side.

"I love you too," I reply through a laugh before opening the truck door. I hop inside and start up the ignition. Tanya taps on the window, I look over to her to see her eyes narrowed at me.

"Do you still hate me?" I ask.

"Don't be a bitch. Let me in," she complains in a whiny tone.

"Oh, so now I'm a bitch. You aren't going to get anywhere calling me names," I say through a laugh.

"You won't leave me stranded here," she says confidentially.

"Oh, won't I?" I ask, changing the gear into first and letting the clutch off before pressing my foot down on the accelerator a little bit.

"Bella!" she exclaims. "Fine! I'm sorry okay? You're not a bitch. You're the most kind, amazing, beautiful person on planet earth and I would be lost without you. Now, will you please let me in?" she complains.

I laugh hysterically as I lean across the seat and unlock her door. She climbs in, her eyes narrowed at me once again.

"You do realize now I'm inside this ancient thing I can take all that back…"

"No hating on my truck. And no you can't take it back."

"Yes, I can," she says seriously.

"I can easily kick you out of my ancient truck."

"I'd like to see you try, you little weakling," she jokes, punching me in the side of the arm for emphasis. I wince from the pain and rub my arm.

"Owe! Are you right there? You fucking behemoth."

"What is with you calling me all these beastly names? Jesus Christ, I am a human being, not an animal," she complains.

"I don't know about that. Sometimes I have trouble figuring out what you are."

"Oh, Ha-ha."

"No, seriously. I have to look up Zoo animal books and everything," I tease.

"Screw you," She mumbles.

"No thanks," I reply through a giggle.

"You are such a pain in my ass. Will you please just shut up and drive?"

"Who do you think you are? Rihanna?" I ask through a laugh.

"Jesus Christ. Really, Bella? Have you always been this annoying?"

"Whatever, you love me," I say confidently, poking her in the arm.

"Unfortunately," she mumbles as I pull out onto the road and begin our journey to Portland, Oregon.

* * *

A smile automatically turns up on my lips as we pass the 'Welcome to Portland, Oregon' sign. Demetri was such a nice guy; I can't wait to see him again. It's six PM by the time I pull into the parking lot of Demetri's family hotel. When I park my truck, I glance over at the front door to see Demetri standing outside with a huge grin on his face. I get out of the truck and grab my overnight bag from the back. I wave at Demetri as I make my way over to him.

"You're back!" he exclaims before closing the distance between us and engulfing me in a hug.

"I told you I'd stop by if I was ever this way again," I tell him, my voice muffled by our embrace.

I step out of his arms and smile at him politely. I glance over to Tanya to see that she's looking at us closely and eyeing up Demetri. She quirks her brow at me causing me to roll my eyes at her.

"This is my one of my best friends, Tanya. Tanya, this is Demetri."

"Hi, it's nice to meet you," he says kindly, extending his hand out to Tanya.

"You too." She takes his hand in hers and shakes it, a polite smile on her face. He returns her smile before looking back at me.

"Come inside, I'll get you guys organized," he says before turning around and walking inside.

Tanya and I follow behind him and wait at the front counter. He sits down in the chair and types something up on the computer before grabbing a key off the hook behind him and placing it on top of the counter.

"So, did you find the place you were looking for?" he asks.

"Yeah, I did. That's where I found Tan. But I'm ready to head back home now," I reply kindly.

"Oh yeah? What's back home?" He asks nonchalantly. Tanya elbows me in the ribs and looks at me pointedly.

"Uh, my um, boyfriend. And his sister, who is also my best friend," I splutter out.

"Oh," He says quietly. "I didn't know you had a boyfriend."

"Well, we're not really together anymore, but I plan on getting him back," I reply confidentially.

"Well, I hope that works out for you," he replies sweetly, a small smile on his face. I return the gesture before looking over at Tanya.

"See," I mouth to her silently.

"Whatever," she replies in the same way, rolling her eyes at me.

"So, Tanya," Demetri addresses her. "Are you single?" he asks, his voice seductive. Tanya scoffs quietly before putting a kind smile on her face.

"Sorry, honey. I don't bat for your team," she says with a wink.

"Oh," he replies shocked. "Sorry," he adds in a mumble.

"Nothing to be sorry about,"

"Well, no. I mean, you're a beautiful woman. So, I'm sorry I can't have you."

"That sounds a bit possessive, don't you think?" she jokes.

"Tanya," I scold her quietly.

"What?" she asks nonchalantly.

"I didn't mean it like that, I swear," he says shocked.

"Don't pay any attention to her, she's a shit stirrer," I tell him.

"Excuse me? I am not," she denies, picking the key up off the counter and walking away.

"Great friend you have. She's fiery," Demetri jokes.

"She is pretty feisty, but I wouldn't have her any other way," I reply honestly.

"It's nice to see you again, Bella," he says, smiling kindly at me. I return his smile and close the distance between us, giving him a quick hug.

"I'll see you in the morning. No giving us breakfast on the house again either," I tell him seriously. He holds his hands up in surrender.

"I won't, I promise," he says through a laugh. "Have a good night," he adds.

"You too," I reply before walking down to mine and Tanya's room.

"You're right, he is a sweetheart," Tanya says as I walk into the room.

"I told you."

"I can't get over that he seemed so into you, but as soon as he found out you were interested in someone else, he moved onto me," she says through a laugh.

"Well, I think it was sweet of him to respect that I have feelings for someone else," I reply, a smile on my face. "And It's not like Demetri and I got together, and he moved on to impressing you, after breaking up with me," I add, raising my brow at her.

"True," she ponders, pursing her lips together trying to keep herself from smiling.

"I'm gonna have a quick shower." I tell her, pulling out my pajamas and a pair of clean panties out of my suitcase.

"Okay."

I make my way into the bathroom, turning the shower dials on, before tying my hair into a messy bun and stepping into the shower. I let out a sigh as the spray of hot water hits my skin, instantly loosening my muscles. I lather my body quickly before rinsing off and getting out. I dry myself quickly, and then change into my panties and putting my grey sweat pants and green jumper on. I pull my hair out of it's bun as I walk out of the bathroom and over to the kitchen.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" I ask Tanya.

"Sure. Thanks."

"What's the time?" I ask before there's a knock at the door.

"Nearly seven thirty," she replies as she makes her way to the door. She opens it to see Demetri on the other side.

"Hey," he greets her, his tone soft.

"Hey, what's up?" Tanya asks.

"Nothing much. I was pretty bored, so I thought I'd come say hi."

"Right."

Demetri stands in the doorway, looking and no doubt feeling, extremely awkward. Tanya glances over at me, quirking her brow. I narrow my eyes at her for being so rude.

"Hey, Demetri. Do you want to come in?" I ask, smiling at him kindly.

"Oh. Yeah, thanks," he replies sheepishly before stepping inside. Tanya goes back to the bed and continues reading the second Hunger Games book, Catching Fire, by Suzanne Collins. I got it for her for Christmas. A smile forms on my lips as I think back to the memory.

_x-X-x_

"_Bella, hurry your ass up, would you? We'__re going to be late!" Tanya yells from the living room._

"_Will you calm down? We are not going to be late,"__ I call back._

"_We are if you keep going at the pace of an old lady! It'__s Christmas dinner. If we__'__re late, Kate is going to tear us to shreds."_

"_I am not going at the pace of an old lady!" I scold her as I walk into the living room. "And don'__t act like you__'__re scared of Kate. You just want to get there to open your presents," I add._

"_Well excuse me for letting my inner child come out."_

"_You do realize we aren'__t opening any presents until after dinner, right?" I ask, a smirk on my face._

"_What? Why?" she whines._

"_Because I said so," I reply through a giggle._

"_Ergh, it's__ Christmas day, Bella!"_

"_So? You don'__t see me having a cry about wanting to open my presents." _

"_That'__s because you__'__re the one who refused to let us open them. You__'__re meant to give gifts in the morning!" she says exasperatedly. _

"_That'__s when you__'__re a child,__" I reply, rolling my eyes at her._

_When we arrive at Garrett and Kate__'__s, we have a beautiful Christmas dinner together. It__'__s been a long time since I__'__ve had a family Christmas dinner. It felt a little foreign at first, but everything about it was perfect. The meal, the conversation, the company. I can__'__t keep the smile off my face the entire night._

"_Okay, time for presents!" Kate says excitedly._

"_Finally!" Tanya says through an exhilarated sigh. I can'__t stop the laugh that escapes my lips. I reach down into my handbag and pull out the bunch of presents I got everyone, placing them on the table. _

"_Let'__s relocate to the living room," Garrett says as he stands. We all follow behind him. Tanya and I sit on the lounge while Garrett sits in the arm chair, Kate on his lap._

"_I haven'__t had a Christmas for a long time, so I__'__m bit out of practice with the Christmas shopping," I say quietly before handing Kate her present. I bite down on my lip as I watch her rip the wrapping off. _

"_I didn'__t really know what to get you, so I just got those photos printed out and put into frames," I tell her, my voice anxious. I glance up, letting out a sigh of relief as I see her lips turn up into a genuine smile._

"_I love them, thank you," she whispers, climbing off Garrett__'__s lap and embracing me in a hug. I hug her back before handing Garrett his present._

_I got him a silver plaque with a passage engraved in it. When his eyes meet mine, I can see the emotion clear in them. _

"_What does it say?" Tanya asks._

_Garrett clears his throat before looking down at the plaque and reading out what it says._

"I listen to your advice because it's the best I can get.  
I love your personality, your wit and good humour.  
I love your smile and I love your laugh.  
I love the way you go out of your way to make my days better when they're down.  
I love the laughs and the silly fights that we have together.  
I love everything that we have done together.  
I love the way that you are, and everything that you are.  
I love all the good things that you have done,  
I've seen more than you think I've seen, I've heard more than you think I've heard.  
And I have done more than you think I have done, but at the end of the day, I know I'll always be okay with you in my life.  
Everything you are, and everything you will be in the future is amazing.  
You are my best friend, my everything, but most of all, you're my brother that I love with my whole heart.  
I write this to you to show you how much you have impacted my life in a positive way.  
Our friendship is proof that blood is not always thicker than water. You don't have to be biologically related to someone to be apart of their family.  
I love you big brother, thank you for everything.

Love always, Bella."

"_Wow," Tanya says in awe._

"_Bella, that is so beautiful," Kate whispers, her voice thick with emotion. _

_Garrett stands and closes the distance between us. I wrap my arms around his waist. He pulls me close to him, my cheek resting on his chest. "Do you like it?" I ask, my voice a whisper._

"_It'__s the kindest thing anyone has ever given to me. Thank you, Bella." He squeezes me to him tightly for a quick second before stepping out of our embrace._

"_You'__re welcome,"_

"_I feel the exact same way too, by the way," he adds, a smile on his face. I feel my lips turn up into a smile._

"_Good to know," I reply through a light laugh._

"_Okay, myyyy tuuuuuuurn!" Tanya chimes in a sing song voice. I roll my eyes at her as Kate and Garrett laugh at her enthusiasm._

_I pick up her present and hand it to her. She rips the paper open in record time, her eyes going wide and lips turning up into a massive grin as she lays her eyes on the book I gave her._

"_Oh. My. God," she__ says, her voice sounding out of breath. _

"_Am I forgiven for making you wait now?" I ask through a laugh._

"_Yes! I love you!" she squeals before jumping up and wrapping her arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around her waist as I continue to laugh. "I can'__t believe you got me this! When was it even released?" she asks, stepping out of the embrace._

"_What is it?" Garrett asks._

"_The second Hunger Games novel by Suzanne Collins," I reply._

"_The what?" he asks confused._

"_Only the best action slash love story ever!" Tanya exclaims._

"_Never heard of it," Garrett says__ nonchalantly._

"_What?" Tanya, Kate and I say simultaneously. _

"_How have you not heard of it?" Tanya asks, horrified._

"_You know that book I couldn'__t put down? About the kids going into a game arena and having to kill the other contestants and fight to the death," Kate tells him._

"_Oooooh, that," Garrett replies._

"_Yeah, that. Tanya is extremely obsessed with it, so, it was kind of the perfect gift for her," I tell him._

"_It'__s more than perfect, it__'__s fantastic!" Tanya says, her voice filled with excitement._

"_Oh, and it was released in September. I'__ve had it for a while…"_

"_What? How have I not found it around the apartment?" _

"_Because I have brilliant hiding places," I reply, giving her a wink._

"_Okay, okay. Time to give Bella her presents now," Kate interrupts._

_I sit back down on the couch as they all place my presents on the coffee table in front of me. I can__'__t stop the smile forming on my lips as I begin to open the first present. It__'__s from Garrett and it looks pretty big, and it__'__s heavy. I open it to find a box, a picture of a long, black, rectangular shape with a clock on it on the front._

"_It'__s a radio clock, with a built in cd player." _

_I look over to Garrett and smile at him thankfully._

"_Now you'__ll finally be able to tell the time and listen to some good music in that ancient thing of yours," he jokes._

"_Hey. No hating on my truck," I scold him playfully. '__Thank you. I love it," I add before standing and embracing him in a hug._

"_I'__ll install it tomorrow," he replies, patting my pack._

_I open my present from Kate. It__'__s a small jewellery box. I open the lid gingerly to see a beautiful silver necklace with a Swan situated in the middle of it. I take it out, holding the chain by the tip of my fingers as I rest the swan in the palm of my hand._

"_Wow__. Kate, it__'__s stunning," I say breathlessly before embracing her in a hug as well._

"_As soon as I saw it I thought of you. It'__s beautiful just like you."_

"_I love it, thank you."_

"_You'__re welcome, honey," she replies, kissing me on the cheek._

"_Okay, this is from me," Tanya interrupts eagerly._

"_Thanks captain obvious," I joke._

"_Don'__t be a smart-ass, open it," she replies, poking her tongue out at me before shoving the two presents in my hands._

_The first present is a silver charm bracelet, the letter B already situated on it._

"_Thanks, Tan. It'__s gorgeous," I say before smiling at her. _

_Her lips turn up into a grin before she replies, "Open the next one."_

_I open the box to see a small plaque that says "A best friend is someone who knows all about you and your crazy quirks, and loves you anyway. You__'__re the best friend I could ever ask for." With three charms placed on top of it._

"_That is the sweetest thing ever__, Tanya. Thanks,__" I say, wrapping my arms around her. She returns the gesture and kisses me on the top of my head._

"_You'__re welcome. I got you a Bell, because well, your name's Bella. Get it? Bell.__"_

"_Yeah, I get it," I reply through a laugh._

"_Then I saw the __tea cup and treble clef one and thought I had to get them too, because you absolutely love tea and music, so it was kind of perfect."_

"_It is perfect, you know me so well. Thank you," I __reply before hugging her again._

_x-X-x_

"Hello? Earth to Bella," Demetri says, pulling me out of my memory. He leans up against the kitchen counter and quirks his brow at me.

"Sorry, what?"

"Where have you been for the past five minutes?" he asks through a laugh.

"She always drifts off into her own little land like that," Tanya says.

"Whatever. Do you want a cup of tea?" I ask Demetri, smiling at him kindly.

"That'd be great. Thanks," he replies, returning my smile. I turn my back to him and continue to make our cup of teas.

"So what where you saying?" I ask.

"Nothing special really, I was just asking how you've been."

"Oh. Well, I've been great. What about you?"

"I've been okay…"

"Why only okay?" I ask, turning around to face him.

"Mom and Dad have a lot of stuff going on at the moment, so I've been helping out here a lot more than I'm meant too. I'm kind of falling behind in collage," he replies, his voice sad.

"You shouldn't be here so much if you have such a heavy study load. Once you begin to fall behind, it's harder to catch back up," Tanya says.

"Tanya, he can't help falling behind in school," I say as I walk over to her and hand her, her cup of tea before sitting down on the bed.

"Have you been to collage?" he asks Tanya.

"Yes, I have. And I fell behind as well. I missed out on a lot when I thought I wouldn't, and I couldn't catch back up."

"You didn't tell me about that," I say, my voice soft.

"Not something I like to bring up, Bells."

"What's going on with your parents?" I ask Demetri, looking over at him.

"They're going through a divorce," he replies quietly.

"Oh. That's horrible, are you okay?" I ask concerned. He sits down next to me on the bed, looking down at his hands.

"I'll be okay. Seeing you again has lifted my spirits," he looks up into my eyes and smiles at me sadly. I smile back at him before placing my hand over his and squeezing it lightly.

"Okay. I can't take this anymore," Tanya says through an annoyed sigh.

"What?" he asks confused.

"You have a thing for Bella, don't you?" she asks straightforwardly.

"Are you jealous?" he asks, quirking his brow at her. She rolls her eyes at him.

"Oh, please. I already told you I don't bat for your team. Are you deaf or something? Bella also already told you she's in love with someone else, and that she plans on getting back with him. Yet, here you are, making her feel sorry for you with your sob story."

"I'm sorry if it seems that way, it certainly wasn't my intention," he says quietly.

"Tanya, what is wrong with you?" I scold her. "Demetri, don't feel bad, I didn't take it that way."

"That's because you're blind," Tanya says through a sigh.

"I think I should go," Demetri says, getting up off the bed.

"No. You don't have to. You're my friend, I want you to stay."

"Well, Tanya clearly doesn't."

"Don't make me out to be the bad guy. I'm just calling it how I see it."

"You want the truth? Okay, yeah. I do have a thing for Bella. But I respect that she has feelings for someone else. I didn't come up here to make her feel sorry for me so she'll be with me."

"Demetri, you don't need to explain yourself," I say, cutting him off.

"No, I clearly do," he replies before looking back over at Tanya. "I came here because I needed a friend. Believe it or not, I don't have many of those, because I'm either too busy with school work or too busy helping out here. My parents getting a divorce isn't a sob story, it's actually really hard on me because my parents have been together for twenty five years, and all I've ever seen from them is pure love and to see that fall apart right in front of me, it hurts."

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. I reach out to him and wrap my hand around his wrist. He breathes out slowly before opening his eyes and looking over to me. "I'm sorry if it came across as an ulterior motive or something, but all I wanted from you was for you to be my friend and listen. I'm not the kind of guy to be persistent and force my feelings onto someone when I know they don't feel the same. I'd rather have you as a friend than not have you at all," he says softly.

I smile at him sadly, sliding my hand into his and pulling him towards me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his hands around my waist and holds onto me tightly.

"Right. Well, sorry. I'll just go have a shower and leave you two alone then," Tanya says through a sigh before walking into the bathroom.

I step out of mine and Demetri's embrace, sitting back down on the bed and pulling on his hand to sit down next to me. I slide into the middle of the bed and cross my legs. Demetri turns around and sits in the same position.

"I'm really sorry about that, she's just very protective of me."

"It's alright. I get where she was coming from," he replies, smiling at me.

"So, do you know why your parents are getting a divorce?" I ask, my voice soft.

"Not really. They just said they're not in love anymore. But I don't believe it – you don't have the kind of love my mom and dad had to just suddenly not feel the same anymore."

"Do you think it's because of something else?"

"What do you mean?" he asks suspiciously.

"Well, something had to have caused them to feel like they do, maybe something happened between them…"

"What are you trying to say? That one of them had an affair or something?" he asks, horrified.

"I don't know, Demetri. I'm just trying to help come up with a conclusion as to why they're getting a divorce if you're so hell bent about them not falling out of love."

"They would never do that to one another," he says sternly.

"Okay, well, I can't think of anything else. Maybe they did just fall out of love? Things change, people change as time goes by. You think someone loves you, but then one day you wake up and they're a completely different person, or they leave you with no explanation at all," I reply, my voice breaking on the last sentence.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks concerned.

"I'm fine. We're talking about you. Look, I know it's hard, but maybe they're just not happy anymore. Wouldn't you rather them be apart and happy, rather than them stay together, continuously fighting, and eventually resenting each other?"

"Good point," he mumbles, letting out a defeated sigh. He reaches out and takes my hand in his. I look into his eyes and see the sadness in them. I squeeze his hand before crawling over to where he's sitting on the bed and wrapping my arms around him. "Thanks for listening, and giving me advice," he whispers before winding his arms around my waist and holding me close to him.

"You're welcome," I whisper back.

I hear the bathroom door open as Tanya walks into the room. I pull out of the embrace and Demetri smiles at me sheepishly before climbing off the bed.

"I should probably go," he says quietly.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"How long are you staying this time?" he asks.

"Just for the night again."

"Okay," he replies, his voice sad. "Bye, Tanya."

"See ya. Sorry abut before."

"Don't worry about it, its fine," he replies kindly, smiling at her before turning around and walking out the front door.

I climb over to my side of the bed and slip under the sheets. Tanya hangs her towel over the chair before getting into bed as well. She rolls onto her side to face me.

"Is he okay?" she asks sincerely.

"He's alright. He's really upset about his parents situation, and about you thinking he had an ulterior motive for talking to me about it."

"Great. Now I feel like a complete insensitive bitch," she mumbles.

"It's alright, he knows you were only being protective of me," I reassure her.

"I heard some of what you guys were saying. You gave him some pretty good advice. We're you referring to anything in particular?"

"My mom," I reply honestly, my voice quiet.

"Thought so. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. Why?"

"We'll be back in Forks tomorrow," she says softly before asking, "Are you excited? Nervous? Scared?"

"All of the above," I mumble.

"I am a bit too," she admits.

"Why?" I ask confused.

"I haven't seen this part of my family in a long time. Ringing my Aunt the other day, asking if we could stay in the cottage, was the first time I've spoken to her in about four years."

"Why so long?"

"There was a bit of family drama developed when I came out," she replies through a sigh.

"Wow. You came out when you were just fifteen?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah. Some family members didn't take it too well, they were convinced I was just going through a phase. But then when I got a girlfriend and bought her home to meet the parents, let's just say some members of the family changed towards me."

"As in your parents?" I ask horrified.

"No. My parents were actually fine about it after they saw how upset I was when everyone kept saying it's just a phase. It was dad's side of the family that weren't happy, they're very religious," she replies with a roll of her eyes.

"So, was it your Aunt that wasn't happy about it?"

"Yeah. But when I called her the other day, she sounded so happy to hear from me. She apologized about the way she acted and felt horrible about treating me the way she did. She was more than happy to let us stay in the cottage."

"Well, that's good then."

"When I told her about you, she got so excited. She thought you were my girlfriend. I couldn't believe my ears," she says through a laugh.

"Maybe she wants to make up for not acting that way in the past."

"Maybe. Anyway, that's my life story told. Let's get some sleep."

"Sounds great. Goodnight."

Tanya picks up my hand and plants a kiss on my fingers. "Goodnight," she whispers before rolling over, facing her back to me, and turning off the lamp.

I close my eyes, letting exhaustion overtake me. My mind filling with dreams of my reunion with Alice and Edward.

* * *

The next morning I'm woken up by someone stroking the hair away from my forehead and tucking it behind my ear. I open my eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the morning light shining through the window, to see Tanya kneeling beside my bed. She smiles at me kindly before standing and pulling the sheets off me.

"Morning, sleepyhead," she greets me cheerfully.

"What time is it?" I ask, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Nearly ten thirty. Do you want a cuppa?"

"Please," I reply through a yawn.

"Morning, Bella," a small voice greets me.

I sit up abruptly, snapping my head around to the direction of the greeting. Demetri is sitting at the small table across the room, a sheepish smile on his face. My cheeks flush red as I realize I'm only wearing my green oversized jumper. I took my sweats off during the night because I got too hot. I pull the covers back up over the lower part of my body before smiling back at him.

"Oh. Hey, Demetri."

"How was your night?"

"It was fine."

"Just fine?" he asks, a smirk on his face.

"Uh, yeah. Um, excuse me," I mumble, pulling my pants back on under the covers before getting out of bed. I walk over to the small kitchen where Tanya is.

"Thanks for ripping off the blankets while I was only in my jumper and underwear," I hiss at her.

"What are you talking about?" she asks nonchalantly, a small smirk lifting at the corner of her lips.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Do you know how embarrassing that is?"

"I don't see where the problem is. You guys are friends."

"That doesn't mean he needs to see me in my underwear! Especially when he has a thing for me and is being really sweet not to act on it. Stop being such a pain, Tanya," I scold under my breath.

"Jeez, someone thinks they're simply irresistible," she scoffs.

"You guys know I can hear you, right?" Demetri says awkwardly, causing Tanya to snicker quietly.

"Um, I'm just going to get changed," I mumble, grabbing my clothes out of my overnight bag and walking over to the bathroom.

I quickly glance over at Demetri, he smiles softly at me and I return the gesture before closing the bathroom door. I turn the tap on, placing my hands under the flowing water in a bowl position. I lean over the sink and splash the water over my face. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. How can life get anymore embarrassing than that? How could he even hear us? I swear, he must have bat ears or something because I was speaking very low under my breath. I shake my head at my ridiculous thoughts, changing into my clean clothes. Because we're going back to Forks, where the weather is ridiculously cold, I decide on wearing a pair of dark blue jeans, a black long sleeve shirt, with a black leather jacket over the top, a white cotton scarf around my neck. I look myself over in the mirror before walking back out into the room.

"What?" I ask Demetri, stopping in my tracks as I take in his expression.

"Nothing. Just, you do know hot it is here, right?"

"Yeah, but we're going back to Forks. It's freezing there."

"Oh. Right," he replies quietly.

"You should come down and visit us some day," Tanya pipes up, walking over to me and handing me my cup of tea.

"Thanks," I say quietly, taking the cup from her carefully, smiling at her gratefully before looking back at Demetri. "Yeah, you should. That's be great," I add.

"Really?" he asks hesitantly.

"Why not?" I ask confused.

"Wouldn't that be weird with your boyfriend there and all?"

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Yet," Tanya interrupts, snickering beside me. I roll my eyes before sitting down in the chair across from Demetri.

"Anyway, why does that even matter? You and I are friends, right? I mean, it's not like you're going to be trying to court me and make me your girlfriend."

"Yeah," he replies quietly.

"Demetri. Are you able to be just friends with me? I really want to be friends, but if you're uncomfortable with that, then, well, I don't really know what to do," I say quietly.

"Awkwarddd," Tanya says under her breath, causing me to look in her direction and scowl at her. She pokes her tongue out at me before walking out of the front door, leaving Demetri and I alone. I let out a sigh before looking back at Demetri.

"Bella, I'm fine with it," he replies, meeting my gaze and smiling at me softly.

"Then why are you so worried about Edward when you come to visit?"

"I don't know," he mumbles. "I guess I just, well, look at Tanya. She can tell I have a thing for you straight off the bat. What if you do get back with Edward? He'll be able to see it too."

"So?" I ask confused, breaking eye contact with him and looking down at my hands.

"I don't want to come between you two. I can tell that you care about him a lot. I don't want to be the reason you get hurt again if he becomes jealous and assumes something far beyond what it really is," he replies quietly.

"Oh. Demetri, I'll just deal with that when it happens."

"But I don't want it to happen in the first place."

"What are you trying to say?" I ask warily. When he doesn't answer, I look up at him to see he's also looking down at his hands. I place my hand on his cheek, willing him to look at me. "Are you saying you don't want to be friends?" I ask sadly. His eyes shoot up to mine.

"No! Of course not!"

"Then tell me what you mean," I say quietly. He places his hand over mine that is still cupping his cheek. He removes my hand but doesn't let go as he places it on his knee.

"It doesn't matter. I'll come visit you, I promise," he replies, smiling at me sadly.

"Demetri…" I say hesitantly.

"Honestly, Bella. I'll be fine. I just didn't want to be a burden to you, or cause any trouble between you and Edward."

"I know exactly how you feel, but you wouldn't be a burden. And too bad if Edward get's jealous. I know I've hurt him a lot already, but I'm allowed to have friends."

"I don't think he'd care that we're friends, just the me liking you part," he mumbles. I let out a frustrated sigh before removing my hand from his.

"Look, you'll get over me, you will. I mean, honestly, we don't even really know each other that well. Argh, that sounded so horrible," I mumble, running my hand down my face. "What I mean is, I'm not the girl for you, Demetri. You'll find your girl one day, but I'm not her," I add quietly.

"I know," he replies. "I guess it's just because you're not like other girls I've met," he adds, his voice quiet.

The font door opens, Tanya walking inside. Demetri and I look in her direction. She's standing there with her hands on her hips and her brow quirked.

"Are you guys done with your heart to heart?"

'Ha-ha," I reply sarcastically.

"I'm serious. Are you done so we can get on the road?" she asks impatiently.

"Do you always have to be so annoying?" I complain.

"Whatever. You love me, I'm fabulous."

I scoff at her before shaking my head. I walk over to my overnight bag and pull out my white vans. I sit down on the bed and put them on before zipping up my bag and grabbing my phone and the keys to my truck off the bedside table. I look around the room, making sure I have everything. I didn't notice that Tanya took most of the stuff out to the truck when I was talking to Demetri. I hang my bag over my shoulder, walking over to Tanya.

"Come on, then," I tease her before looking over at Demetri. "Are you coming?" I ask him. He smiles attentively at me before standing and walking outside with us.

"Well, It was nice to meet you. Sorry again about last night. Make sure you come see us!" Tanya says cheerily before engulfing Demetri in a hug. He pats her pack awkwardly before answering.

"Don't worry about it. I understand where you were coming from," he smiles kindly at her before glancing at me.

"Take care," I say quietly, closing the distance between us and wrapping my arms around his neck. He winds his arms around my waist and holds me close to him.

"You too," he whispers back.

"You will come and visit, right?" I ask uncertainly, stepping out of our embrace. His cheeky grin is back in full force before he takes my hand in his.

"Of course I will," he says through a laugh.

"Good." Tanya and I reply simultaneously, causing all three of us to laugh.

"Give me the keys, lady. I'm driving this time," Tanya says seriously. I roll my eyes, letting out a sigh before handing my keys over to her. She runs over to the truck, throwing her bags into the back before jumping into the driver's seat.

"You better get going then," Demetri says, smiling sadly at me.

"Yeah… Oh, wait," I say abruptly, scavenging through my bag to find a pen and paper. I write down my number and hand it to him. "This is my number. Text me so I have yours, then I can harass you about coming to visit," I joke, laughing lightly. He takes the paper from my hands, smiling appreciatively at me.

"Thanks, Bella," he says softly. I quickly embrace him in another hug before smiling at him and running over to the truck.

I throw my bag in the back with Tanya's before climbing into the passenger seat. I glance over at Demetri to see him looking down at the piece of paper with a content smile on his face. He must sense me looking at him because he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. I smile brightly, waving goodbye to him as Tanya pulls out of the hotel parking lot and onto the main road, continuing the last few hours of our journey to Forks.

* * *

Tanya and I stopped somewhere around 1:00 PM to get some lunch, staying there for an hour before continuing to drive again. By the time Tanya and I pass the 'Welcome to Forks, Washington' sign, the digital clock on my stereo system says it's 5:30 PM. Butterflies begin to flutter throughout out my stomach, making me feel wrecked with nerves and excitement. We drive through the town, my thoughts all over the place. I wonder if my truck will tip everyone off that I'm back.

Tanya continues to drive towards the deserted area of Forks, which we have to drive past Charlie's house to get too. I tense up as we drive down the street. Tanya notices this and takes a quick glance at me. I look out the window, noticing Charlie's cruiser isn't in the drive way. I visibly relax and let out the breath I didn't realize I was holing on to.

"Are you okay? What was that about?" she asked concerned, taking quick glances at me.

"Yeah. That white house we drove by is Charlie's."

"Charlie as in your dad?" she asks surprised.

"Mhhm," I hum quietly. She smiles sympathetically at me before looking back onto the road. As we continue to her Aunt's cottage, my breathing becomes laboured as I realize the road we're on.

"Oh dear god, please don't tell me your aunt's name is Esme," I panic. Tanya glances at me with confusion on her face.

"Uh, it isn't. Why are you freaking out?"

"Um, this is the road towards Edward's house."

"Oh, really?" she asks, surprised.

"Yeah," I reply, swallowing the lump that's formed in my throat.

"Well, the turn off is just here," she says, pulling into the dirt road.

"Edward's turn off is just down the road," I tell her, my voice cracked from nerves.

"Wow. I wonder if my Aunt knows his parents," Tanya muses to herself.

"Wow, indeed," I reply letting out a heavy sigh.

Tanya continues to drive down the winding road, weaving in out of some trees. We eventually arrive at our destination, my jaw going slack and nearly dropping to the floor as I take in the sight before me.

Tanya's description of the cottage didn't do it any justice. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life. It's like something out of a fairy-tale. Honeysuckle climbs up one wall like lattice, winding all the way up and over the thick wooden shingles. Late summer roses bloom in a handkerchief sized garden under the dark deep set windows. There is a little path of flat stones, amethyst in the night, that lead up to the quaint arched wooden door. Which is a crazy quilt of smooth, flat stones. The low ceiling has long exposed beams that someone as tall as Garrett would surely knock his head on.

Tanya and I grab our things out from the back of the truck and head towards the front door. I can't keep myself from glancing all around, this place is so stunning. I follow behind Tanya as she unlocks the door and walks inside. If I thought I was in shock from the view of the outside, it's nothing compared to the beauty of the inside.

The walls are warm wood in some places, stone mosaics in the others. There is a beehive fireplace in the corner. The cottage is furnished in eclectic pieces, not one of them matching another, but harmonious just the same. One chair seems vaguely medieval – while a low ottoman by the fire is more contemporary and the stocked bookshelf against the far window reminds me of movies set in Italy. Somehow, each piece fits together with the others like a big three dimensional puzzle. There are a few paintings on the walls. Priceless originals no doubt, but they seem to belong here, too, like all the rest.

"Whoa. Tanya, this place is… It's so beautiful," I tell her, my voice soft.

"I know, right? I've seen pictures and things like that, but, seeing it in person is a completely different thing."

"So you never came down here for any summers?"

"Nope," she replies, popping the P. "That'd be so weird, right? If I came here one summer, and we ran into each other, not even knowing it," she adds, turning to face me.

"I think I'd remember you," I reply, smiling at her.

"I'd remember you too," she says, smiling back at me. "Come on, lets dump our stuff in our rooms," she adds before walking down the hall. I follow after her before we reach the end of the hall. She stops, opening a door on the left.

"This can be yours. I'll have the one across the hall," she says smiling at me again before turning around and walking into her room.

I walk inside and glance around, taking in my surroundings. The carpet floor is a light cream colour, the walls crossed between a dark blue/teal color. A huge king size bed lays in the middle of the room, the sheets white and blue stripes with numerous pillows placed on top. In the far left corner, two blue couches sit in front of three glass windows, white panels placed between them for separation and light brown timber blinds attached to each window. White cotton curtains are placed on each end of the rod. A cream foot rest is situated in front of them, a small white table with a vase sitting on top of it, is placed between the two couches.

A glass door is to the right side of then room. I walk over to it, to see that it leads out into the small backyard. I feel my lips beginning to turn up into a small smile. I walk back over to the bed, placing my bags on top of it before sitting down on the edge of it. I lay backwards, placing my arms behind my head, using them as a pillow. I close my eyes, letting out a content sigh just as my phone begins to ring. I snap my eyes open, lifting my hips up so I can get my phone out of the back pocket in my jeans. My heartbeat accelerates as I take in the name flashing on my screen. Edward. How did he get this number? Could he have heard about me being back in town? I'd like to think that Alice wouldn't give him my number without asking me first, but who know? This is Alice we're talking about. Maybe she caved into him. He is her brother, after all. I take a deep breath, answering the phone.

"Hello?" I answer, my voice a questioning tone considering I'm not meant to have his number.

No one answers.

"Hello?" I say again.

All I can hear is someone breathing softly. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before speaking again.

"Edward?" I ask. There's a sharp intake of breath before there's silence once again. "I know it's you, I still have your number," I say quietly.

Still no answer.

"Please say something," my voice begins to break. "How did you get my number? Did Alice give it to you?"

"_Alice.__"_ he hisses under his breath angrily, the line going dead straight afterwards.

Oh, no. Maybe she didn't give him my number? I quickly scan the contacts in my phone and find Alice's name, pressing the green call button.

"_Hey, Bella! Are you here yet?"_ she asks excitedly.

"Did you give Edward my number?" I ask straightforwardly.

"_No. Why?"_ she asks confused.

"Alice, he just rang me…"

"_What?"_ she asks shocked.

"I think I may have gotten you in trouble. He wouldn't speak to me. I told him I knew it was him and then asked if you gave him my number. Then he just said you name under his breath and hung up on me. I'm so sorry."

"_No, Bella. It__'__s not your fault,"_ she reassures me. _"__Damnit! He must have seen it on my desk when he was grabbing my History book. I knew I shouldn__'__t have left it there! I__'__m so sorry, Bella.__"_

"Hey, it's alright. Does he know I'm back?"

"_No…"_ There's a loud knock on a door on the other end of the phone. _"I think that__'__s him,"_ she whispers.

"Don't tell him I'm back. Not yet, please," I beg.

"_Alice!"_ I hear him call out to her.

"_Shit,"_ she mumbles. _"Hang on a second,"_ she says quietly before I hear muffling on the other end before Edward begins to yell.

"_How long have you been talking to her?" _He asks angrily.

"_Well, hello to you too, Edward,"_ she replies sarcastically.

"_Don__'__t screw with me, Alice,"_ he says in a warning tone.

"_What on earth are you talking about?" _she replies, feigning innocence.

"_HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO BELLA?"_ he yells angrily.

"_Not long, I swear! She rang me the other day!"_

"_Why didn__'__t you tell me?"_ he asks, the hurt clear in his voice.

"_I don__'__t know. I didn__'__t think you would want to speak to her!"_

"_Why would you think that?"_ he asks, his voice rising in volume.

"_Oh, I don__'__t know! Maybe because when you got her letter you told me you don__'__t know how you feel!"_

So he did get my letter.

"_You still should have come to me!"_

"_Just because she was your girlfriend and you__'__re in love with her, does not mean you own her! She is my best friend, Edward! I don__'__t have to tell you anything!"_ she yells back, her voice raising an octave.

"_That__'__s exactly why you should have told me she contacted you! You seen how fucked up I was after she left! You should have told me because I love her!"_

I cover my mouth in shock as what he tells her hits me straight through my chest. He's still in love with me? A small smile forms on my lips.

"_So, you are still in love with her?" Alice_ asks, her voice softer now.

"_Of course I fucking am. You should have told me,"_ he replies. I hear a door slam loudly in the background before Alice picks up the phone again.

"_Bella?"_ she says quietly.

"Hey," I reply, my voice filled with shock.

"_So, I__'__m guessing you heard all that."_

"Yeah."

"_He__'__s going to hate me for not telling him you__'__re back," _she mumbles quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"_Don__'__t worry about it. So, you are back right?"_ she asks uncertainly.

"Yeah, I am. Do you want to come over tomorrow?"

"_YES!"_ she squeals with excitement, causing a laugh to escape my lips.

"Come over about lunchtime? I'll text you the address later. I'm actually closer that you think."

"_What does that mean?" _she asks suspiciously.

"Never mind," I reply through a laugh. "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, Alice."

"_Bye, Bella,"_ she replies softly before hanging up.

I let out a shaky breath as I sit up, resting my head in my hands. I run my hands through my hair before standing and unpacking my things. I hang my clothes in the closest, placing my shoes on the little built in shoe rack. I pull out my box of framed photographs, placing them around my room.

"Did you ring Alice?" Tanya asks. I glance in her direction to see her leaning against the doorway.

"Um. Yeah," I reply quietly.

"Oh, god. What happened?"

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Something's happened, I can tell," she says, quirking her brow at me.

"Edward rang me," I tell her, my voice close to a whisper. I sit back down on the edge of the bed. Tanya walks over and joins me.

"How did he get your number? Did Alice give it to him?"

"That's what I thought. But when I asked him that, he said her name very angrily and then hung up," I tell her, my voice sad. She places her hand on top of mine and squeezes it lightly. "I rang Alice afterwards and she said he must have seen it on her desk when he was grabbing her History book," I add.

"Jesus Christ. Well, what happened?"

"He ran into her room and yelled at her for not telling him I contacted her. I feel so bad," I groan, placing my head in my hands again.

"Hey, it's not your fault."

"Yes it is! I should have contacted him," I reply exasperatedly

"Bella," she addresses me pointedly. "You weren't ready to talk to him. It wasn't your fault he found out this way."

"He told her he's still in love with me," I tell her, my voice quiet.

"That's great," she replies, her voice just as quiet.

"He's still hurt though. I could hear it in his voice."

"Of course he's still gonna be hurt, Bells. You just need to see him and explain everything," she says encouragingly.

"What if he doesn't want to listen?" I ask sadly.

"He will. He might not want to listen the first time he sees you, because he'll probably be shocked to see you. But he'll get over it. He'll eventually hear you out."

"Are you sure?" I ask hesitantly.

"I'm positive," she replies confidentially. "Listen, it's nearly nine O'clock –"

"It's that late already?" I ask, shocked. Cutting her off.

"Yeah, and I'm completely beat. So, let's just get some sleep and we'll work out the rest tomorrow," she says, patting my thigh before standing up off my bed.

"Night, Tanya," I say quietly.

"Night, Babe," she replies, smiling at me before walking out of my room.

I get changed out of my clothes, changing into a clean pair of panties before putting on my pajamas. I place my bags on the floor, deciding to unpack the rest of my stuff tomorrow morning. I quickly text Alice the directions to the cottage before taking all the pillows off the bed and lay them on the floor. I pull back the bed covers and climb into to bed.

My phone chimes with my text message tone. I reach out to my bedside table and grab my phone, smiling as I read Alice's reply.

**OH MY GOD! You are closer than I thought!  
I can****'****t believe you****'****re back!  
I****'****m having extreme trouble staying here at home instead of rushing over there right now!  
I****'****ll see you tomorrow, I can****'****t wait to see you!  
Goodnight, Bella! **

**- A**

I close my phone and put it back on the bedside table before rolling over and snuggling into the comfy warm sheets. I let out a light breath before closing my eyes. I can't stop the smile forming on my lips as I begin to fall asleep.

* * *

**Hey guys!** This chapter was originally going to flow into Bella seeing Alice, Edward and the rest of the Cullens, but it's already so long, so I decided to split it.

Thank you to everyone who is continuing to **review**! I hit 100 reviews not long ago, and It really means a lot to me!

Thanks to everyone for adding this story to their **alerts and favourites** too!

And thanks to my beautiful Beta, **Jenndur.** She is amazing xx

**- Nat x**


	30. Reunions

_**Chapter Thirty – **__(Reunions)_

**BPOV**

* * *

"What time is Alice coming over?" Tanya asks as she makes us a cup of tea.

"She said lunchtime, so around twelve, I think?"

"Cool. What are you girls gonna get up to?"

"You mean what are _we _gonna get up to," I reply, quirking my brow at her and looking at her pointedly. She rolls her eyes at me before sitting next to me on the couch, handing me my cup.

"I thought you'd want to spend some time alone with her," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"We have plenty of time to hang out by ourselves. It's our first day back, as if I would exclude you."

"Right, well, we have an hour to spare. Do you want to finish unpacking some stuff before she gets here?"

"Sure, why not."

When Tanya and I finish our cups of tea, we head back out to my truck and bring in the loads of boxes that are filled with all of our belongings. We leave them in the middle of the living room, unpacking them one at a time. We start with the box that says 'kitchen' on it, packing away the cutlery, pots, pans, cups, glasses, tupperware and china. Along with the sandwich maker, slow cooker, popcorn machine and milkshake machine. The next box is the living room, which is filled with paintings, books and ornaments that Tanya and I didn't want to part with from the apartment back in Cali. I take the liberty to put all the books on the bookshelf while Tanya hangs up the paintings. We then place the rest of the stuff around the living room, on top of counters, coffee tables, shelves, window sills.

There's a knock at the door just as I'm placing a pot with fake pink and white peonies in it, on the fireplace railing. Excitement and nerves overtake me, butterflies fluttering throughout my stomach as Tanya runs to open the door. All I can see is Alice's right arm. I want to go meet her there, but my feet just can't seem to be able to move. I stand there anxiously, waiting for one of them to say something.

"Hey, you must be Alice. I'm Tanya," she greets her, extending her hand to Alice. Alice takes Tanya's hand in hers, no doubt smiling at her kindly.

"Hi. Um, is Bella here?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yeah, she's inside. Come on in," Tanya replies kindly.

Alice steps inside, glancing around. As soon as she looks up and meets my gaze, a grin spread on her face.

"Bella!" she exclaims, sprinting towards me.

My feet suddenly remember how to move and I close the rest of the distance between us. I bend down as Alice pounds into me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold onto her tightly.

"Hey," I whisper.

"I can't believe you're here! I've missed you so much," she says, her voice cracking with emotion.

"I missed you too."

"Why did you leave?" she asks sadly, stepping out of our embrace.

"Do you want a cup of tea?" I ask her, changing the subject.

"Bella." Tanya says sternly.

"You are going to tell me, right?" Alice asks uncertainly.

"Of course I will. I just – can't I explain while we drink tea?" I ask, laughing lightly.

"I'll make it," Tanya offers. "You two get talking," she adds, smiling at both of us before walking into the kitchen.

I sit down on the couch and Alice sits down next to me.

"Are you okay?" she asks concerned.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just don't know where to start."

"Start from the beginning," she replies softly, taking my hand in hers and smiling at me reassuringly.

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before explaining my life story. Alice sits there, smiling at me sadly, squeezing my hand for comfort and asking questions to help her understand more. We sip our tea slowly as I continue to tell her the rest of what happened. When I'm done, she has tears in her eyes, she wipes them away before engulfing me in a tight hug.

"So that's why you left? Because you were scared Edward was going to leave you?" she asks, her voice sad.

"I know it's stupid, but yeah," I reply quietly. "I know I shouldn't have left, I know that was the wrong thing to do. But I guess people do crazy things when insecurity and fear overtakes them," I add, letting out a sigh.

"Well, other than that, how have you been? How was life in California?" she asks, enthusiastically.

"It was hard at first, but I got used to it. Tanya was amazing to me, she's actually the one who convinced me to come back to Forks," I tell her, looking over at Tanya and smiling at her.

"Oh shucks," she jokes, waving her hand in front of her as though to dismiss the compliment.

"Well, thank god you met her," Alice jokes. "What did you do while you were down there? Did you enroll in a school or something?" she adds.

"I worked at Garrett's diner with Tanya."

"Garrett?" she asks suspiciously.

"Yeah. He's a great friend; he's like a brother to me. I made some really great friends up there, Alice. They're going to come up and visit one day. You'll absolutely love Kate! She reminded me so much of you."

"And Alec and Felix are also pretty amazing," Tanya adds.

"Yeah, they are," I reply through a chuckle.

"Sounds like you had a lot of fun," Alice says softly.

"It's good to be home though," I reassure her, "I've missed everyone so much. How are they all doing, anyway? Jazz, Rose and Em all graduate soon, don't they?" I ask.

"Yeah, they do. They'll be so happy you're back to see them graduate!" she replies excitedly.

"When does school go back?" I ask. "I need to re-enroll, even though I'm going to be extremely behind," I mumble.

"Oh, it doesn't start back until Wednesday. You still have time."

"I need to go job hunting," Tanya says through a groan.

"The people at the Forks diner are looking for people. I could put a good word in for you, if you want?" Alice asks Tanya.

"Really? Thanks, Alice," Tanya replies gratefully.

"Don't worry about it, I'm happy to help. After all, any friend of Bella's is a friend of mine," she says confidently.

"Um, Alice?" I address her hesitantly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you reckon we could go to your house so I can see Edward?"

"Oh. Bella, I don't know…" she replies uncertainly.

"Please? I want to see the others as well," I plead with her.

"Well, you heard what Edward said on the phone last night. He's very, well, his emotions are all over the place at the moment. He doesn't know what to feel. He loves you, I know he does, but I'm scared about how he'll react when he sees you. I promised you I wouldn't tell him you're back, and I've kept that promise, so he's also going to be very angry at me when he finds out I knew you were coming back all along. And you've never seen him lose it the way I have, I mean, when you left, he became very broken and he lashed out at everyone. He got into a lot of physical fights with some of the boys at school and got suspended for it. I'm not saying he'd hurt you or anything, he'd never do that, but he might be so taken aback by your presence that all the painful memories might come rushing back and he might lash out at you and say some terrible things that I know he'll regret," she rants, all in one breath. I sit there in shock, taking in everything she said until a laugh escapes me.

"It's nice to know you still have difficulty talking at a normal pace," I joke.

"Jesus Christ, girl. Are you even a human being?" Tanya asks, shocked.

"Ha-ha," Alice replies, rolling her eyes. "But seriously, Bella. If you really want to go, we can go. I'm just warning you of what his reaction might be. He may have gotten a lot calmer now and he's apart of the big brother program and everything, but that doesn't mean he's not hurting," she adds softly.

"I know. I just need to see him, to talk to him. I want to see the others too."

"Okay, let's go then," she replies standing up from the couch, looking over to where Tanya sits. "Are you coming too, Tanya?" she asks politely.

"Sure," Tanya replies cheerfully.

We all grab our things before heading out the door. We hop into Alice's yellow Porsche and make our way over to the Cullen's house.

* * *

"I can't do this."

"Bella, breathe," Tanya says, latching onto my hand as I go to walk away.

"You have nothing to worry about," Alice reassures me.

"Um, I'm pretty sure I do. What if he doesn't even want to see me?" I ask sadly. My eyes go wide as I realize Edward isn't the only one I'm reuniting with today. "Oh my god, is Rosalie home? She's going to want to stomp my head into the ground," I add, fear clear in my voice.

"If she even tries to touch you, I will make my fist connect with her face," Tanya says seriously before glancing over at Alice. "No offence," she adds, causing Alice to smile understandingly at us.

"No, it's okay. I know what Rose is like, so, I'll try and stay in front of you so I can defuse her rage."

"Why am I doing this again?" I ask quietly.

"Because you love him," Alice replies, her voice just as quiet. She smiles at me sympathetically before lightly shrugging her shoulders.

I close my eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "Here goes nothing," I mumble, placing one foot in front of the other and making my way up their front stairs.

Alice runs ahead, walking through the door before us. She glances around, tip toeing towards the living room before quietly running back to where Tanya and I stand at the front door.

"Everyone is in the living room," she says softly. "Except Edward," she adds, her eyes meeting mine.

"Oh. Okay," I reply, my voice quiet and broken with nerves.

"Are you ready?" Tanya asks softly next to my ear. I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat before squeezing her hand and nodding my head. Alice smiles encouragingly before heading back into the living room.

"Hey guys!" she greets them cheerfully. "Look who I found," she adds, turning around to face us as we walk into the room. Three eyes go wide, three jaws drop and there are three sharp intakes of breath.

"BELLA BUTTON!" Emmett exclaims as he jumps off the couch. I can't stop the grin that forms on my face as he charges his way towards me excitedly, his arms extended in front of him. When he reaches me, I wrap my arms around his neck as he winds his arms around my waist, spinning me around as he holds onto me tightly.

"Em. Can't. Breathe," I say through a breathless laugh.

"Oops, sorry. I forgot how tiny you are," he says sheepishly, setting me back down on the ground.

"Where have you been?" Jasper asks, pulling me into a hug as soon as I'm out of Emmett's arms. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him back tightly. "We've missed you," he adds quietly.

Rosalie scoffs from behind him. "Speak for yourself," she says icily. I glance over at her as I break out of mine and Jasper's embrace. As soon as my eyes meet hers, her expression automatically turns into a scowl.

"Babe," Emmett says sternly.

"Don't _babe _me! How do you expect me to act?" she asks incredulously.

"Maybe in a more civil matter, perhaps," Jasper says seriously.

"Are you fucking shitting me right now? After what she did? You've got to be kidding me!" she replies exasperatedly.

"Rosalie…" I address her hesitantly, her eyes narrowing even more as I try to speak to her directly. "I know what I did was wrong, and I'm so sorry for putting all of you through that. I have reason as to why I did what I did and if you'll let me explain –"

"And why should I let you do that?" she asks cutting me off.

"I feel so horrible about everything –"

"I don't give a_ shit_ how you feel! I confided in you at one stage and you could have confided in me –"

"I'm trying to confide in you now!" I cut her off, annoyance seeping into my voice.

"Are you serious?" she asks incredulously. "It's too late for that shit! You're the one who decided to run off with no explanation at all, leaving my brother heartbroken," she adds, her voice filled with venom.

"Rose, everyone deserves a second chance," Jasper adds seriously.

"Not her. She's nothing but a heartless little bitch!" she says angrily.

"Shut your fucking mouth. Don't you dare talk to her like that!" Tanya yells at Rosalie.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Rosalie taunts.

"Oh, I may look harmless, but trust me, sweetheart. I'm far from it," Tanya threatens.

"Come on, guys. Stop it!" Alice pleads.

"You! Don't you even dare talk to me again. I can't believe you knew she was coming back and didn't tell any of us!" Rosalie yells at Alice.

"Oh, for fuck sake, Rosalie! Do you have to be so fucking conceited?" I yell at her.

"Oh snap," Jasper says through a chuckle.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" Rosalie yells before lunging at me. I automatically take a step back in shock as Jasper winds his arms around her waist and pulls her backwards, Emmett joining him straight away.

"Fucking hell, what is with all the yelling?" Someone yells from the front door. Rosalie immediately stops struggling against Emmett and my whole body tenses as everyone in the room goes quiet. That voice could only belong to one person. Edward.

I turn around just as he walks into the living room. He stops in his tracks, his eyes going wide as soon as he sees me. "Bella," he says breathlessly, the tone of his voice filled with shock. I finally meet his gaze and it takes all the strength that I have inside me not to run into his arms at the pain I see in his eyes.

"Hey," I reply, my voice quiet.

"What are you doing here?" he asks softly, his voice breaking a little.

"I needed to come back. I missed everyone, and I wanted to, well, needed to explain why I did what I did to all of you," I reply, my voice hoarse. "And I missed you so much, I couldn't stay away anymore," I add quietly, my eyes not leaving his.

"Why don't we all sit down?" Alice asks, he voice quiet. As soon as she speaks, Edward's eyes snap to hers, hurt and anger clear as day in them.

"Did you know she was coming back?" he asks straightforwardly.

"I, uh –" Alice sputters.

"Of course you did. Stupid fucking question," he mumbles angrily.

"Edward, please don't be mad at her. I made her promise not to tell anyone," I tell him pleadingly. He looks back to me and I automatically take a step towards him, my heart constricting in my chest as he takes a step backwards away from me.

"Don't –" he begins.

"Edward, please, can we talk?" I ask hesitantly.

"Why don't you just leave? You're only making things worse," Rosalie chimes in, her tone icy.

"Shut it, Rosalie," Edward says angrily before glancing back towards me. He lets out a heavy sigh before turning his back on me. "I can't," he says quietly before walking away. I stand there in shock for a few seconds before I feel someone pushing me forward.

"Go after him, Bella," Jasper says quietly.

And that's all the encouragement I need to run after him.

"Edward, wait!" I call out as he heads out the back door. "Edward, please!" I call again after I make my way through the back door. He stops walking, standing with his back to me.

"Edward?" I address him hesitantly.

He slowly turns around but avoids my gaze.

"I'm so sorry," I tell him, my voice finally breaking with emotion.

"So I've heard," he replies nonchalantly.

"I knew it," I say through a heavy sigh.

"Knew what?" he asks confused.

"I knew you wouldn't want anything to do with me. I knew you'd hate me," I mumble.

"I don't."

"It certainly feels like it."

"I _don__'__t_ hate you," he replies seriously before sitting down on the bench seat and placing his head in his hands.

"I heard what you said to Alice last night," I tell him honestly.

"You were on the phone with her?"

"Yeah."

"I can't fucking believe her," he says angrily.

"Please don't be mad at her, Edward. I don't want you to fight with her because of me."

"Well, you're a bit late for that."

"I never meant to hurt you."

"Well, you did."

"I know," I reply softly. "But I didn't leave because I didn't love you, Edward. I was scared _because_ I love you."

"Don't."

"I never stopped loving you," I continue determinedly.

"Bella…"

"Edward, please, let me explain," I plead.

"Bella, stop!" he shouts. He shakes his head before meeting my gaze. "I'm sorry, I just can't deal with seeing you right now," he adds quietly.

"Okay," I reply, my voice quiet. "I'm sorry," I add, the tears finally falling down my cheeks as I turn my back on him and walk away.

"I know," I think I hear him whisper just before I close the back door.

* * *

When I head back into the living room, the tears don't stop streaming down my face. Tanya and Alice jump up off the couch as soon as they see me.

"Are you okay?" Tanya asks concerned, wrapping her arm around my shoulders.

"What happened?" Alice asks softly.

"Who fucking cares," Rosalie mumbles, causing the tears to flow even more. Tanya whips her head around to face Rosalie.

"Seriously, you need to shut your fucking trap," Tanya says icily. Rosalie narrows her eyes at Tanya before standing up out of the couch.

"Rose," Jasper says in a warning tone.

"What, you're just gonna let some random bitch talk to your sister like that?" she asks incredulously.

"When my sister deserves it, yes," Jasper replies seriously.

"What the fuck is wrong with all of you? How can you just accept her back with open arms?" she asks angrily.

"Because everyone deserves a chance to tell their side of the story, baby," Emmett says soothingly, trying to calm her down.

"I'm sure Bella has a perfectly good reason as to why she left," Jasper adds.

"Well, I don't give a shit what her reason is," Rosalie says icily. I don't know what comes over me but I feel as though I have steam coming out of my ears. I clench my fists at my side, causing Alice to look at me warily.

"And I don't give a shit that she's back –"

"God Rosalie, SHUT UP!" I yell, my temper finally reaching it's boiling point. Everyone looks at me in shock as I continue. "The whole world does not revolve around you! I don't give a fuck if you don't care that I'm back or if you think I don't deserve to be forgiven! I'm back because I wanted to explain everything to all of you in person! So until you stop being a stubborn bitch and let me explain what I've gone through and why I've done what I've done, you do not get the right to judge me!" I add angrily, turning my back on her and walking away.

"Whoa, who knew she had it in her," I hear Emmett say before I slam the front door.

I sit down on the top step, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my head on top of my knees as the sobs begin to escape my chest. It's not long before I feel two people sit on each side of me. Tanya sits on my right, rubbing my back soothingly while Alice rests her head on my shoulder.

"Do you want to go?" Alice asks softly.

"Yeah, is that okay?" I ask, my voice hoarse from crying.

"It's fine. Em and Jazz said they understand. They're both pretty pissed at Rose, which has got her in an even more foul mood."

"Can you stay at our house tonight, Alice?" Tanya asks. "I think Bells could really use an old friend right now," she adds quietly.

"Of course. I'll go get my stuff," Alice replies before standing and heading back inside.

"It'll be okay, Bella," Tanya whispers.

"You don't know that."

"He said he still loves you," she reassures me.

"Sometimes that's not enough," I reply, my voice breaking as the tears begin to fall down my face again.

Tanya scoots closer to me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. I lean into her and rest my head on her chest as a new round of tears and sobs begin. She continues to rub my back soothingly and plants a kiss on the top of my head.

"You guys ready?" Alice asks timidly as she walks down the steps and faces us.

"Yeah," I reply, wiping my face as I stand up. Tanya winds her arm through mine and I lay my head on her shoulder as we walk down the rest of the steps and over to Alice's porch.

"I'm really sorry about Rose," Alice apologizes as we climb into her car.

"It's not your fault, Alice," I reassure her.

"And it's not yours either," she replies seriously.

"Alice, I know she's your sister and all, but fucking hell, she has some serious issues that she needs to sort out. I can't believe the way she was acting. I have never met anyone so frustrating in my life," Tanya says frustrated.

"I've never seen her that upset before," Alice replies honestly. "She doesn't show emotion much. She acts tough on the outside, but she's really fragile on the inside. I think she was just hurt because of how you left. She's got it in her head that you should have gone to her and spilled all your problems onto her, because she told you about her past," she adds thoughtfully.

"Life isn't all about tit for tat," Tanya says through a sigh.

"I know, but Rosalie is really hard to understand sometimes. She can be a really great person, even Bella can attest to that," Alice says defensively, glancing back at me and Tanya in the back seat. "Rose isn't always a bitch; she's very passionate about what she believes in and if you hurt one of her family members she'll make you pay for it, that's just how she is," she adds quietly.

"Yeah, she is," I add softly.

"Okay, I get it. But someone needs to buy her a damn stress ball or some shit," Tanya mumbles, causing both Alice and I to laugh lightly to ourselves. Alice continues to glance back at me through the rear-view mirror, occasionally smiling at me apologetically.

I must have fallen asleep on the short trip home because Tanya lightly nudges me awake just as Alice opens my car door. A yawn escapes my lips as I drag myself out of the car and towards the front door. Once we're inside, I trudge my way down the hallway towards my bedroom with Alice and Tanya following behind me.

"You can sleep in Bella's room," Tanya tells Alice politely, planting a kiss on my forehead. "Night guys," she adds before walking into her room.

I change into my pajamas, not even caring that Alice is in the room. She shrugs her shoulders before she begins to change as well. I crawl into bed, feeling completely exhausted. Alice climbs in next to me and rolls onto her side to face me. She smoothes the hair out of my face and tucks it behind my ear.

"He'll come around, Bella. He loves you," she whispers.

"I hope so," I mumble, my voice muffled by the sheets.

"I know he will. He just needs some time to get used to the fact that you're back."

"I told him I still love him."

"Just keep telling him that, keep trying to talk to him and spend time with him. Prove to him that you aren't going anywhere until he listens to you. I know what my brother is like, but I also know what you're like. I know how stubborn you can be, so use that stubbornness to your advantage. Don't give up on him," she replies encouragingly.

"I'll never give up on him," I whisper back before exhaustion finally overtakes me and I fall soundlessly to sleep.

* * *

**So, Bella reunites with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and most of all, Edward.**

** There's clearly a bit of angst and tension and a lot of issues that need to be sorted out, but that'll work out eventually. **

**Sorry for the late update My Beta Jenndur and I have been super bust lately! **

**BUT I've finised chapter 31 and 32 and am now working on chapter 33. So from now on, the updates should be more frequent :)**

**Thanks to everyone who are still sticking with the story and dropping me some reviews. Also thanks to everyone who are adding this story to their alerts and favourites.**

******Hope you enjoyed the chapter! **

******- Nat :)**


	31. Mixed Emotions

_**Chapter Thirty One**__**–**__(Mixed Emotions)_

EPOV

* * *

I climb into my Volvo and speed away from my house, putting as much distance between Bella and I as possible. I make my way to La Push beach, parking my car recklessly before jumping out and sprinting down to the broken down tree I came across when Bella first left. The message tone on my phone chimes and a frustrated groan escapes me, thinking it's going to be Alice whining in my ear I don't look at it. My message tone goes off a few more times before it eventually begins to ring. Filled with frustration, I pull my phone out of my pocket, not bothering to look at the screen before answering.

"For fuck sake, Alice! Can you leave me alone for five god damn minutes?" I yell into the phone.

_"Well, hello to you too, shithead,"_ Jacob says through a chuckle.

"Oh. Sorry, man," I mumble awkwardly.

_"It's alright. Had another fight with the midget, have you?"_

"Not really. I just thought she'd be pestering me because –" I cut myself off, not knowing whether I should tell him Bella is back or not.

_"Because…"_ he probes.

"Uh, can I come over?" I ask, changing the subject

"_Of course you can, man. Is everything okay?"_ he asks sincerely.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just need some advice from someone that's _not_ apart of my family."

_"Jeez, thanks. I love you too, Edward," _he replies sarcastically.

"You know what I mean. Don't be a dickhead."

_"Yeah, yeah. Hurry up and get your ass over here."_

"See ya, soon," I reply before hanging up and heading back to my car.

* * *

I make my way to Jake's, parking up on the grass of his front lawn. His father, Billy, is sitting on the front porch in his wheelchair.

"Hey, son. How are you?" he greets kindly.

"Hey, Billy. I'm alright, how are you?"

"Same as usual. You here to see Jake?"

"Sure am," I reply, smiling at him kindly.

"He's down in his shed," he replies, returning my smile.

"Thanks, Billy," I reply before walking down the side of the house and down to Jake's shed.

I knock once, not waiting for an answer before entering and flopping myself down on his lounge. He's working on one of his bikes.

"Hey sunshine. What had you in such a lovely mood earlier?" Jake asks sarcastically.

"Bella's back."

"What?" he asks shocked, dropping his wrench. "Fuck, when did that happen? Are you okay?" he adds, picking up his wrench.

"Jesus Christ, Jake, I'm not a fucking girl. I'm not about to break down crying," I reply rolling my eyes.

"That hasn't stopped you before."

"Fuck you!"

"Hey man, no judgment here. I'm just sayin'," he says defensively.

"Right," I mumble, folding my arms across my chest.

"So, what happened?" Jake asks.

"I couldn't handle seeing her, so I walked out of the room. She followed me and apologized for everything. She said she didn't leave because she didn't love me, but she left _because_she loved me. I mean, what the fuck does that even mean? Seriously?" I ask exasperatedly.

"Maybe she was scared of her feelings or something?"

"She said she never stopped loving me," I mumble quietly.

"Well, _you_ still love _her_,right?" he asks seriously.

"Yeah. Of course I do, but I'm also still really angry with her though," I reply honestly.

"Have you contemplated actually _listening_ to what she has to say?"

"I will eventually, I'll have to. I just can't deal with it right now. I've finally started to get my shit together and accept that she was gone, but now she's just turned back up and completely changed everything." I run my hands down my face, letting out a heavy sigh. "I don't know what to do. I love her, but every time I see her, I just remember everything that happened and I feel the anger boil up inside of me. I don't like walking away from her and ignoring her, but it's better than blowing up at her, isn't it?"

"Well, to be honest, no. I know you may think you'll look like a pussy doing it, but I think it'd be better to let out all your frustration. It may seem harsh and it'll hurt her at first, but she needs to know how you feel and what you went through when she left."

"When the fuck did you develop a feminine side?" I reply through a groan.

"Whatever, dude, I'm just trying to help," he replies through a chuckle. "Just take it one step at a time. You won't feel any closure until you sort out your shit with her," he adds, raising his brow and looking at me pointedly.

I quirk my brow at him, causing him to roll his eyes and shake his head at me before continuing to work on his bike. I huff in defeat as I lean further back into the couch, folding my arms across my chest.

"What are you doing next weekend?"

"I was thinking about having a party actually. you wanna come?" he asks, glancing over at me before walking over to his mini fridge.

"Yeah. Maybe."

"You'll come," he says through a laugh, opening the fridge and grabbing out two cans of coke. He throws one over to me and I lean forward to catch it.

"Thanks," I say, opening the can and taking a drink. "And fine, I'll come," I add in a mumble. Jake chuckles lightly to himself.

I hang out with Jake for the rest of the day, helping him with his bikes and continuing to talk about Bella, trying to figure out what she meant when she said she left because of her feelings for me. I know everyone dislikes Jake and they think he's a bad seed, but he's actually a really great guy. He's helped me a lot with the whole Bella situation. It's good getting advice from someone who isn't in my family circle. Sometimes getting someone's opinion from the outside is what you need to hear. I end up staying at Jake's pretty late – noticing how dark it's gotten the next time I look outside. I tell him I'll see him next weekend at the party, offering to bring some snacks.

* * *

When I get home Em, Jazz and Rose are still in the living room.

"Where have you been all day" Jazz asks as I enter the room.

"I was at Jakes."

"Why were you there?" Emmett asks suspiciously.

"Um, because he's my mate –"

"I honestly don't know why you're friends with him," Em replies through a sigh. I roll my eyes at him.

"Whatever. Where's Alice?" I ask.

"Staying with Bella and Tanya tonight," Jazz says.

"Tanya?" I ask confused.

"That blonde chick that was with Bella," Emmett replies.

"Oh," I reply quietly. I didn't really take notice of anything else when I saw Bella standing in the middle of the room.

"Who cares, she's a bitch," Rose mumbles.

"And you're not?" I quip.

"Excuse me?" she replies in shock.

"You were completely out of line with Bella," I tell her, annoyance clear in my voice.

"Are you fucking serious right now? You're defending her after what she did?" she asks incredulously.

"Babe, everyone deserves a chance to explain themselves," Emmett tells her soothingly. He glances at me, looking at me pointedly.

"Why are you filled with so much rage towards her?" I ask Rose.

"Because," she says, folding her arms across her chest. I stay silent, not breaking my gaze with hers as I wait for her to continue. She lets out a sound cross between a huff and groan. "She hurt you, Edward," she mumbles, leaning into Emmett's chest. He wraps his arms around her waist and plants a kiss on her cheek.

"Look, Rose, I know you mean well, but it's seriously not helping anything at all. I know I was a mess when she left, but I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself."

"It's not just that," she says quietly. I walk over to where she and Emmett are sitting on the couch. I sit down on the coffee table so I'm directly facing her.

"What is it?" I ask softly. She looks up into my eyes and I can see the sadness in them.

"I told her about my past. If her past is part of the reason she did what she did, why couldn't she confide in me?"

"People do impulsive shit when they're filled with fear, Rosie. You know that," Jazz tells her as he sits beside her.

"But what was she so afraid of?" she asks, frustration building up inside of her.

"We don't know, babe," Emmett says softly.

"She said she left because she was scared of her feelings for me," I tell them honestly. All heads snap toward me, their expressions filled with confusion.

Jasper shakes his head before speaking. "It's more than that, though. I can tell."

"Well, we won't know anything until she tells us," Emmett says. I let out a heavy sigh, running my hands down my face.

"I'm going to bed. I'll see you guys in the morning," I tell them as I stand and walk out of the room. I have a quick shower and change into a clean pair of briefs before collapsing onto my bed, my thoughts running a million miles an hour.

* * *

I'm watching TV in the living while I eat my lunch when I hear the front door open. Alice walks into the room with Bella and Tanya following behind her. When she notices me, she stops in her tracks.

"Oh. Hi," she greets me nervously. I quirk my brow at her before shaking my head.

"Hey," I reply nonchalantly, turning back to the TV.

All three of them sit down on the empty couch. I glance over at them, catching Bella looking at me a few times. She looks away quickly, blushing furiously. I can't help the smirk that begins to pull up in the corner of my mouth. When she notices, she smiles sheepishly at me before leaning further back into the couch and playing with the bottom of her shirt.

"What are you doing today?" Alice asks softly.

"Alice, why are you being so weird?" I ask through a light laugh.

"Aren't you furious with me?" she asks shocked.

"Why should I be? You're her best friend. You have every right to speak to her – so I've been told," I reply, quirking my brow at her.

"Right," she mumbles.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you, Ali. I shouldn't have done that," I tell her seriously.

"Okay," she says quietly.

"This is Tanya, by the way," Bella says.

"Hey," Tanya greets me, a kind smile on her face.

"Where did you two meet?" I ask.

"California," Tanya replies.

My body tenses at the mention of that state. That's where she was when she sent me that letter.

"Are you okay?" Bella asks softly.

"Yeah. Just, never mind," I mumble.

Alice has a look with Tanya before they both stand. Bella glances over at them, confusion on her face.

"I'm just, uh, gonna show Tanya the house," Alice says quickly before grabbing Tanya's wrist and leading her out of the room.

"Real subtle, Alice," I mumble to myself. I glance over at Bella to see she looks extremely nervous and unsure.

"So what did you do in California?" I ask kindly.

"Oh. Um, I worked with Tanya, at a diner."

"Cool. What diner?"

"The Eclipse. Garrett owns it. I became pretty close with him –"

"Why are you telling me that?" I ask cutting her off, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice.

"It wasn't like that with him at all, Edward. He's like an older brother to me and he has a fiance, who I also became really close with," she says quietly.

"Oh. Sorry," I smile at her apologetically. She looks down at her hands.

"It's okay," she says, smiling sadly at me. "I also sang there," she adds softly.

"Where?" I ask confused.

"The diner, on Friday nights."

"That's great," I reply encouragingly.

"Yeah. I've been writing songs too," she glances back at me, biting her bottom lip. My eyes dart to her lips.

"Edward?" she addresses me hesitantly, causing my eyes to snap back to hers. "When Tanya mentioned California before, you tensed up. Is that because I sent you the letter from there?" she asks quietly.

God, I forgot how fucking perceptive she is. She leans forward and doesn't take her eyes off mine.

"I meant everything I said in that letter, Edward," she says seriously.

"Okay…"

"Do you believe me?" she asks uncertainty.

"Can we not do this right now?"

"Why not? We're alone, we have privacy."

"That doesn't matter. I don't want to go through this right now," I tell her, frustration beginning to boil inside of me.

"I need to explain everything to you. Why won't you let me?" she asks, hurt clear in her voice.

"Because I can't deal with listening to your excuses, okay? You hurt me, Bella! You hurt me more than I've ever been hurt before, and I may sound like a pussy right now, but I don't care. I'm not ready to listen to what you have to say, so just get off my back!" I shout, standing up and walking out of the room.

"Edward, please," she begs, her voice breaking with sadness. "I hate that we're like this. I want to fix it," she adds as she begins to sob quietly.

I stop walking and turn around to face her. Tears are falling down her cheeks and it takes all the strength that I have not to close the distance between us and wrap her up in my arms.

"I'm not ready, Bella," I tell her quietly. She wraps her arms around herself and I can't take seeing her like this anymore. I finally close the distance between us. She looks up into my eyes as I cup her face in my hands, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. "I need time," I add in a whisper, removing my hands from her face.

She nods her head in acknowledgment, "Okay," she replies softly, sniffing and wiping her face afterwards.

I turn my back on her and walk away, heading up to my room.

"Yo, Eddie!" Jasper calls out to me as I walk past his bedroom.

I take a few steps backwards so I'm in front of his door.

"Yeah?"

"Come in for a minute."

"Okay…" I reply hesitantly, stepping inside his room and closing the door behind me. "What's up?" I ask.

"Were you shouting not long ago?" he asks, looking at me pointedly.

"Uh, maybe?" I reply, indicating the word as a question.

"Bella's here, isn't she?"

"How do you –"

"Ali texted me, told me she was coming over with Bells and Tanya."

"Right," I mumble.

"Then she sent me another text a minute ago, telling me she dragged Tanya away to leave you and Bella alone," he says, quirking his brow at me. "And that she heard yelling, then found Bella alone in the middle of the living room crying."

I run my hands down my face before sitting down in the couch he has in his room.

"Why did you call me in here, Jazz?"

"Do you want to tell me what all the yelling was about and why Bella was crying?" he asks seriously.

"We were talking about what she got up to in California."

"You didn't blow up at her, did you?" he asks through a groan.

"No. I was perfectly nice and listened to her, but then she bought up the letter she sent me…"

"And that's when you lost it?" he asks attentively.

"Yeah," I reply quietly. "Then she started crying and apologizing and I felt so bad, I couldn't take it anymore, so I went up to her and held her face in my hands and wiped her tears away. I told her I need time, then I came up here and now I'm talking to you," I add through a heavy sigh.

"Look, I know you're hurting, but this isn't you, man. You're better than this. How do you think your mom would feel if she saw you treating a girl like this?"

"That's fucking low, Jasper."

"It's the only thing that makes you listen. You need to get your shit together. I've always been there whenever you needed me, or have you forgotten that?" he asks seriously. "I know we aren't blood, but you're my brother, Ed. I hate seeing you like this, everyone does."

"I don't know what to do. Every time I see her, all those feelings from when she left come flooding back and it's like a bullet has been shot through my chest," I reply, letting my head fall into my hands.

"But you can't just avoid everything that's happened, you need to face it. Believe it or not, bro, but Bella has actually done a pretty brave thing by coming back here after leaving like she did."

"How can you just welcome her back so willingly after what she did?" I ask, looking up to meet his gaze. He smiles at me sadly before letting out a sigh. "I need to know. I love her, I do. But I don't know If I'll ever be able to trust her again. How can you guys trust her?" I add sadly.

"Ed, we don't trust her one hundred percent yet. She's gonna have to earn our trust back, and I think she knows that. We're just glad she's okay and that she's back," he says soothingly.

"Does Alice feel like that? She seems to have forgiven her," I murmur.

"You know what Alice is like and you know how hurt she was when Bella left," Jazz says. "She forgives easily, but she doesn't forget. What Bella did is always going to be in the back of her mind. Don't worry about it, she'll tell Bella how she feels eventually. I think she's just scared Bella might run off again," he adds sincerely.

"Right," I murmur.

"Look, she knows what she did was wrong, bro. She's trying to fix what she's broken," he says reassuringly.

"I know," I reply, letting out a sigh as run my hands through my hair and look back up at him. "I just need time, Jazz."

"Fair enough. I just hope you don't bottle up everything inside of you and then end up lashing out at her."

"I'd never do that," I tell him seriously.

"Because you love her."

"Thanks, Captain Obvious," I mumble. "Are we done here?" I ask.

"Yep. You know I'm here if you need to talk about anything."

"Yeah, I know. Thanks Jazz," I reply, standing up out of the chair and walking out of his room.

I head back to my room and collapse onto my bed. I glance at my bedside table to see the light on my phone flashing, indicating I have a missed call. I reach over to grab it and then unlock it. I roll my eyes, letting out a frustrated groan as I see the missed call is from Alice, along with five text messages. I go into my inbox and read the messages.

**Be nice to Bella, Edward!**

- **A**

**Why can I hear yelling?  
You better not be yelling at her!**

- **A**

**WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER, EDWARD?  
Why have I found her in the middle of the room crying?**

- **A**

**God, I cannot believe you! You are such a jerk!  
Why didn't you listen to her?**

- **A**

**You are so frustrating!  
When I get my hands on you,  
my wrath is going to make grizzly bears look like Bambi!**

- **A**

I roll my eyes, laughing lightly to myself as I type my reply.

**Don't be mad at me, Ali. I****apologized****to her, okay?  
I didn't mean to snap at her, I just couldn't deal with what she was saying.  
I'll talk to her eventually,****but like I've told everyone else, I just need time.  
Love you,****little sis xx**

- **E**

I put my phone on charge before changing into a clean pair of briefs and climbing back into bed.

* * *

"Tan we tik da bawl aroun, Ed?" Riley asks as we sit down on the picnic blanket.

Today was my day to take Vicki and Riley out for the day. I called into the hospital early in the morning so I could get them out of there for as long as possible. I always remember hating the hospital every time I had to stay in there when I was sick, and because of their illnesses, I can't imagine how lonely and cooped up they may feel sometimes.

I smile at Riley before picking up the ball and standing up.

"Of course we can, kiddo," I reply before looking to Vicki. "You wanna play too, Vicki?" I ask kindly.

"Okaaay," she replies unenthusiastically, causing me to laugh lightly to myself.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, honey."

"No, it's fine. But can we fly the kites afterwards?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. But I'm not gonna lie, I kind of really suck at flying kites," I tell her honestly.

"That's okay. I can teach you!" she replies, excitement in her voice.

"Well, okay then. That's a deal," I reply through a chuckle.

I walk about five meters from the picnic blanket, to give us some space to kick the ball. I place the ball on the ground as I wait for Riley and Vicki to stand in a spot they're comfortable with.

"Okay, are you ready?' I ask.

"Yep!" Riley yells.

"Bring it on!" Vicki says enthusiastically.

I kick the ball to Riley and he stops it with his foot before kicking it back to me. I kick it to Vicki lightly, not wanting to put too much force behind it. It slows down when it gets closer to her and slowly rolls the rest of the distance to her.

"What was that?" she asks through a laugh.

"What do you mean?" I ask with a smile on my face.

"That was a pansy kick!" she replies, still laughing lightly to herself.

"I didn't want to kick it too hard…"

"Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean you have to go easy on me," she says seriously.

I raise my hands, palms up in front of me, in a sign of defense. "Wow, calm down," I reply, chuckling lightly.

Vicki rolls her eyes at me before positioning the ball in front of her. She dribbles it a few steps forward before kicking it, full force into my direction. My eyes go wide in shock for a split second before I compose myself to stop the ball. I glance over at Vicki to see that she has a grin planted on her face, which just causes a smile to also form on my lips before I burst into laughter.

"You're gonna get it now," I tease.

"Oh, yeah? Bring it on mister!" she exclaims through her laughs.

I dribble the ball in front of me – just like she did – before getting my foot under the ball and kicking it towards her. It goes flying up into the air, off to the side so she has to run for it. The grin doesn't fall from her face as she runs to the side to meet the ball. She looks up into the air as the ball begins to make its way lower to the earth. She raises her leg, the ball landing on her thigh before it falls to the ground. She places her foot on top of the ball to stop it from rolling away. She looks up at me with a smug smile on her face.

"Was that good enough for you?" I joke.

"Meh. It was okay," she replies nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders with a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth.

"You ready, Riles?" she asks, turning to face him. His eyes go wide with shock and I think I see a hint of fear in his eyes. Vicki must notice it too, because she smiles warmly at him. "Don't worry, I'll go easy on you," she adds sweetly.

"Okay," he says quietly, returning her smile before nodding his head at her. Vicki kicks the ball softly in his direction. He runs forward to meet it and stops it with his foot again. He kicks it back to her, and she back to him a few more times.

"Oi! Am I invisible or something?" I joke.

"Did you hear something, Riley?" Vicki quips, causing Riley to laugh.

"No, did you?" he asks.

"Hey. No fair, Vicki! You can't turn my little man on me," I reply, pouting at her.

"Too late! He's my little man now. Aren't ya, Riles?" she replies through a giggle.

"Riley. You're not gonna turn on me, are you?" I ask, mock shock laced in my voice.

"Nahhhh," he replies through a giggle before running towards me. I run towards him as well, closing the distance between us and picking him up. He continues to giggle hysterically as I lift him up in the air above my head and spin him around.

"Hey!" Vicki calls out to us.

At the sounds of Vicki's yell, I stop spinning Riley around and place him on my left hip as I keep hold of him.

"Riley's my man, through and through," I tell Vicki, looking over at her. She rolls her eyes at me so I look back to Riley. "Aren't ya, bud?" I ask him.

"Yep!" he exclaims cheerfully.

"What about me?" Vicki asks quietly.

"Well, last time I noticed, you're a girl," I joke.

"Oh," she mumbles sadly.

I keep my eyes on her and when she looks up at me and meets my gaze, I instantly feel horrible. I can see the hurt and rejection clear in her eyes. I smile softly at her before walking over to her, placing Riley on the ground as I kneel down to her level.

"Do you want to know something?" I ask her sweetly.

"What?" she replies quietly.

"Riley may be my little man, but you're my little girl," I tell her kindly.

"Really?" she asks hesitantly. I smile softly at her when she looks up at me.

"Yeah. And do you want to know what else?"

"Okay…"

"You're always gonna be the most important girl in my life now," I tell her honestly, my voice soft. "Next to my mother and sisters, of course," I add through a laugh.

"You mean it?" she asks timidly.

"Always. Now give me a hug," I reply, opening my arms out to her. She smiles brightly at me before leaning in and wrapping her arms around my neck, holding me tightly. I smile as I wrap my arms around her waist and hug her back. Riley leans forward, wrapping both of his arms around Vicki and I.

"Are we a famy?" he asks as he stops hugging us. Vicki pulls away too and sits on my knees.

"A family?" I ask, just to clarify that's what he meant. He nods his head before looking down at his hands.

"Well, there are all sorts of families. And I'm your big brother, so I guess we are."

Riley's timid smiles turns into a full blown grin before he wraps his arms back around my neck like Vicki did. I laugh lightly to myself before hugging him back.

"Okay, do you want to fly the kites now?" I ask

"We don't really have too. The wind isn't very good anymore," Vicki replies, climbing off my knees and standing up.

"Are you sure? We can still try?" I ask again.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Can we do it next time though?" she asks cheerfully.

"Of course we can," I reply, smiling down at her.

We head back over to the picnic blanket and sit down. I pull out the tupperware container that has cheese and crackers in it. I place them on a small paper plate before placing it in front of us. Riley stands up and walks over and sits down next to me. We eat together in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Vicki speaks.

"Eddie?" she addresses me quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Have you heard about the fair that's coming here?" she asks curiously.

"I've heard a bit about it. Why's that?" I ask kindly.

"Well, Mom was talking about it, but she said she can't take me because she has to work," she says sadly, glancing over at me.

I can see the silent question in her eyes – she wants me to take her.

"I can take you, if you want?" I tell her kindly.

"Really?" she asks excitedly.

"We'll have to talk to your mom and the hospital about it, though," I reply.

"They probably won't let me go," she mumbles sadly.

"You never know, sweetie. Don't jump to conclusions," I reassure her. "I'll have a talk to them," I add, smiling at her.

"Okay…" she replies quietly. "Thank you!" she exclaims. She stands and runs over to me, jumping into my lap. She wraps her arm around my neck and hugs me tightly. I return the gesture and pat her back soothingly. She pulls away and looks up at me, a grin on her face.

"Can I come too?" Riley asks quietly.

"Of course you can," I reply, looking down at him and smiling. His face automatically lights up before he jumps in my lap as well.

When I drop Vicki and Riley back at the hospital, I have a talk with Carlisle about taking Vicki and Riley to the fair. He told me it should be fine as long as Vicki's parents and Riley's social workers agree. He said he'd talk to Riley's social workers and put in a good word for me. I asked to go with him though, so I look at least some part responsible and determined to take Riley. On my way out of Vicki's hospital wing, I noticed her mother – I knew it was her because Vicki looks so much like her.

"Mrs. Damon?" I address her. I smile politely when she turns around to face me. "Hi, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm in the Big Brother program here at the hospital," I add kindly.

"Oh. Hi Edward," she greets me with a kind smile. "Vicki has mentioned you a lot. Thank you so much for being so sweet to her. I can't tell you how much it means to me."

"Oh. That's okay, she's a very sweet girl."

"Her fath- her father would be so very grateful for what you're doing," she replies softly, her voice beginning to break with sadness.

"Thank you. I'm really sorry about your loss, Mrs. Damon," I tell her kindly, resting my hand on her arm.

"Me too, Edward. Me too," she replies, looking up into my eyes and smiling at me sadly. "Anyway, what can I help you with?" she asks.

"Vicki was telling me about the fair was coming in, and how you can't take her because you're working."

"Yes, the fair. I feel so horrible. She was so excited about going."

"Well, I hope I'm not out of place, but I actually told her I would take her – if it was okay with you and the hospital."

"Oh. Really?" she asks shocked.

"Yeah. She just seemed so upset about not being able to go. And I do see her as my own little sister now," I tell her honestly.

"Wow. Edward, that's so…" she stops talking, her voice becoming thick with emotion. Her eyes begin to water before she closes the distance between us and embraces me in a hug. I return the gesture, rubbing her back soothingly. "That would be wonderful, thank you," she adds in a whisper before stepping out of the embrace and smiling at me sheepishly.

"You're welcome," I reply softly.

"I'll go tell Vicki the good news. It was so nice meeting you, Edward," she says politely, placing her palm on my cheek. "And thank you again," she adds before removing her hand and walking down toward Vicki's ward.

* * *

On the way home, I stopped at La Push beach. I walk down the beach, to my spot with the tree that has a thick broken branch laying across another tree. I sit down on the branch, my back and head resting on the tree.

"Hey, Eddie," Jacob's cheerful voice greets me. I look up to meet his gaze before he sits down next to me.

"Hey, man. What's up?"

"Not much, not much. Life is pretty boring these days without Lauren to entertain me."

"Argh, you're better off without her, dude. What did you even see in her? She's disgusting," I tell him, a shiver of disgust running through my body.

"She was a bit of a skank, wasn't she?" he snickers.

"That's an understatement," I mumble.

"Anyway, what about you? How was your day?" he asks, changing the subject.

"Took Vicki and Riley out on a picnic," I reply, a smile automatically forming on my lips.

"Oh, yeah? That seems like it went pretty good. What did you guys do for entertainment?"

"We kicked the soccer ball around. I'm tellin' you now, Vicki is not afraid to kick a guys ass."

He laughs lightly beside me. "She sounds like she's gonna be feisty when she's older."

"What do you mean _going_to be? She already is," I reply through a chuckle.

"So is that all you did today?"

"Pretty much. It got a bit emotional for a few minutes. I don't know what it is, but I love those two kids like they're my own siblings."

"That doesn't really surprise me, you have a huge heart, Ed," he says kindly.

"Thanks man," I reply quietly. "I'm taking them to the fair in a few weeks, you should come meet them and shit," I add.

"Sounds great," he replies enthusiastically. "So, have you spoken to Bella lately?" he asks.

"Uh, no. Not since she was at my house last."

"Duuuude. You need to fix shit with her," he tells me seriously.

"I know, I know. I just, every time I see her I feel like I'm dreaming and feel as though she's not really there."

"That's why you need to actually _speak_to her and sort out your drama," he says with a roll of his eyes. I shake my head, looking at him with an expression of exhaustion and slight amusement.

"And here's your chance."

"What? I ask confused. He nods his forward, signaling for me to follow the direction of his gaze. I look away from him to see Bella walking down the beach toward us, hesitance clear in her posture.

"Hey stranger," Jacob greets her cheerfully when she reaches us.

"Hi," she replies uncomfortably.

"Where have you been? Haven't seen you around in a while," Jacob inquiries.

"Why are you talking to me as if we're friends?" she asks confused, causing me to laugh lightly.

"Any friend of Edward's is a friend of mine," he replies confidently.

"And you two are friends?" she asks suspiciously.

"Yep," I reply, popping the P in emphasis.

"Right," she mumbles, breaking our gaze and looking down at her hands.

"Well, I'll just be going then," Jacob says not-so-elusively as he stands. "You still coming to the party this weekend?" he asks me.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Cool. I'll see you later, man," he replies, slapping me on the back before facing Bella. "See ya, Bella. Nice seeing you again."

"Uh. Yeah. Bye," she replies awkwardly as he walks away. She turns to face me, smiling sheepishly.

"Sit down," I tell her kindly, gesturing to the branch.

"I used to come here all the time when I was little," she says as she sits down next to me.

"This is exact spot?" I ask intrigued.

"Yeah," she replies quietly, the corners of her mouth turning up into a small smile.

"It's beautiful here," I reply, letting out a content sigh as I close my eyes and rest my head back on the tree.

"How was your day?" she asks softly.

"Good. I took Vicki and Riley out today," I tell her before realizing she probably has no idea what I'm talking about. "They're the kids from the hospital that I'm a Big Brother to," I add, glancing over at her. She looks up at me and smiles brightly at me.

"Alice told me about that. That's really great, Edward," she says quietly.

"It was Jessica's idea, actually. She said if I focus on children in need then it'll be harder to dwell on my own problems," I reply, my voice quiet. She looks away from me and stays quiet. Her facial expression forming into a mixture of confusion, hurt and anger.

"Jessica? As in Jessica Stanley?" she asks softly, her lips pressed together.

"Yeah."

"Since when do you talk to her?" she asks, accusation clear in her voice.

"Since she became a pretty good friend after you left," I reply icily, not meaning to sound so harsh towards her.

"Right," she mumbles. "So you're pretty good friends with her then?" she asks.

"Look, I know you two had your problems, but she's changed. She isn't friends with Lauren anymore."

"So you're best buds with her now just because she isn't friends with Lauren anymore?"

"Bella, there's a lot you don't know about Jessica, okay? She isn't a bad person. She was only friends with Lauren because she was scared of her and she didn't have you as a friend anymore," I reply, frustration building up inside of me. "I shouldn't have to explain myself to you anyway. You don't get a say in who I can be friends with," I add, annoyance clear in my tone.

"Ouch," she replies, hurt clear in her voice.

I let out a frustrated groan, running my hands through my hair before meeting her gaze. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound that horrible," I mumble.

"It's okay. I deserve it," she replies quietly, her voice thick with sadness.

"Bella…"

"Edward, don't. I understand, okay?" she says quietly before looking up and meeting my gaze. "I really am sorry for what I did. You know I still love you, right?" she adds quietly.

"I know," I murmur.

"I know you love me too, because I heard what you said to Alice. But I also know that I hurt you horribly and you may never be able to forgive me," she says, her voice barely audible. "And I hope one day you'll let me explain why I did what I did –"

"Bella, please…" I cut her off.

"Edward, please just let me finish," she says quietly. "I hope one day you will forgive me. But if you don't, I hope we can still be friends. Because I'd rather be friends with you than not have you at all," she adds, her voice beginning to break with emotion.

"I know we need to talk and sort out our shit, but I'm really just not ready right now, Bella," I tell her honestly.

She nods her head and lets out a heavy sigh. "I'll just go then," she says, her voice filled with sadness as she stands to leave.

I grab her wrist before she walks away, sliding my hand into hers. "I do love you," I tell her gently.

She closes the distance between us and places her right hand on the right side of my face, rubbing her thumb across my cheek. "I know," she replies, her voice finally breaking.

I look up at to see a tear fall down her cheek. She wipes it away quickly before smiling at me sadly and removing her hand from my cheek. I squeeze her hand lightly as she takes a step back, putting distance between us. I let her hand go completely, as I watch her walk away.

* * *

On Wednesday, Carlisle calls me into his office in the afternoon. I approach his office hesitantly, unable to remember if I've done anything to get me in trouble. I knock lightly on his door and wait anxiously for his reply.

"Come in," he calls.

"Hey. You wanted to see me?" I ask cautiously. He looks up at me from his desk and quirks his brow at me. "Am I in trouble? I can't think of doing anything to _be_in trouble, but with you I never know," I add in a rush.

"Calm down, Edward. You're not in trouble," he replies, rolling his eyes at me. "Take a seat," he adds, gesturing to his over expensive, shrink looking chair.

"What is it then?" I ask suspiciously as I sit down.

"I've pulled some strings and got you enrolled back in school –"

"But I have a job now, I can't just leave those kids, Dad. They're like my own little brother and sister now," I reply quietly. I glance over at him to see the corners of his lips turning up into a smile. No doubt because I called him 'Dad' again.

"You can still spend time with them – you'll just have to do it after school," he says apologetically. "I want you to have an education, Edward," he adds seriously.

"I get that, but how am I meant to take Riley and Vicki to places after school? I can't take them anywhere at night, there's nothing to do!"

"Well, maybe I can ask the school to give you a day off school a week to keep your Big Brother commitments? It'll be pushing it because you're meant to be suspended," he says, looking at me pointedly, not letting me forget my mistakes. "But I'm sure they'll be okay with it, considering you're making sick kids lives more pleasant," he adds, letting out a heavy a sigh.

"And what if they're not okay with it?" I ask nervously.

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I'll deal with it," he replies, giving me a reassuring smile. "Anyway, how are things with you? Have you spoken to Bella?" he asks curiously.

"Yeah, we've talked…"

"And?" he probes.

"And nothing – I'm just not ready to have _that_talk with her yet."

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes."

"Does _she_ know that?"

"She knows I still love her."

"Is that going to be enough for you in the end?" he asks, quirking his brow at me.

"I don't know… Can we not talk about this right now?"

"I'm just trying to help," he says genuinely.

"I know," I reply, letting out a sigh. "Thanks for the whole getting me back in school thing," I mumble as I get up out of the chair. Carlisle walks around his desk and over to me.

"No problem, son. Go get ready for school," he says before slapping me on the shoulder and walking out of his office.

* * *

I have Biology for my first hour and I'm already late. Just great.

When I reach the classroom door, I peek through the window to see Bella sitting at our usual table. She's scribbling in her book, her hair surrounding her face as some sort of shield. Mike leans forward in his seat and inches closer towards her, causing my blood to boil with rage. He whispers something so only she can hear, causing her to visibly tense. I grind my teeth together and close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths to get myself under control before I enter the room.

When I enter the room, I keep my eyes on Bella as I make my way straight to Mr. Banner's desk, watching Mike continue to disturb Bella. I hand Mr. Banner my behavior slip that the principal insisted I have.

"Mr. Cullen, it's so nice to have you back," he greets me kindly.

Bella's head snaps up at the mention of my name, her eyes locking with mine. I see her sharp in take of breath, the shock clear on her face.

I tear my eyes away from her to look at Mr. Banner. "Thanks, Sir," I reply kindly.

Bella's expression is still filled with shock when I look back at her. She composes herself quickly as the blush creeps into her cheeks. I feel my lips turn up into my crooked smile as I walk over to our desk.

"Hey," I greet her kindly. I glance over at Mike to see his expression is filled with annoyance. I quirk my brow at him before narrowing my eyes in his direction.

"Are you right there, shithead?" I taunt.

"Whatever," he mumbles, leaning further back into his seat.

"That's what I thought," I reply smugly before sitting down next to Bella.

"I thought you were suspended?" she asks, shock clear in her tone.

"Carlisle pulled some strings. You know what he's like," I tell her.

"Oh. Are you not happy?" she asks seriously, causing me to laugh lightly.

"I'm not the biggest fan of school, or the people in it," I mumble.

"Right. I understand," she says quietly, her expression turning to disappointment.

"Jesus, I didn't mean you, Bella." I groan.

"Oh."

"I'm just worried about Riley and Vicki. I mean, I can't be a Big Brother to them when I'm in school, can I?" I ask, annoyance clear in my voice.

"What are you going to do?" she asks concerned.

"Carlisle's going to see if the school will allow me to have one day off a week."

"Well, that's good then," she says cheerfully.

"Yeah," I reply contently.

She smiles sheepishly before biting her lip and looking away. She continues to write down notes from the lesson, occasionally drawing random patterns on other pages. When she stops drawing, she begins to drum her fingers on top of the table. She always did that when she was becoming nervous. I place my hand on top of hers, flattening it to the table. She slowly turns her head towards me, her eyes locking with mine as she smiles sheepishly and bites her bottom lip again. I squeeze her hand lightly and smile back at her before removing it. She smiles at me again, but this time it's with sadness and a hidden apology. She can't hide the disappointment in her eyes, though.

My heart constricts in my chest at the sight when It finally starts to dawn on me, how much I've missed her.

* * *

The rest of my classes were boring as fucking shit and just reminded me of how much I hated school and where all of my rage with the world came from. Jasper stayed quiet next to me in English, but Emmett being the annoying nosy fuck he is, kept annoying me in Trig.

"So, you saw Bella in Biology, yeah?" he asks suspiciously.

"Obviously."

"Well, did you speak to her?"

"Yes, you nosy prick, I did," I reply, irritated.

"You were nice to her right?"

"No, Emmett. I was a complete asshole – I made her run out of the room crying and everything."

He doesn't say anything after that, so I glance over at him. His expression is a mixture between horror and rage and before I know it, he's punching me in the arm with as much force as he can muster.

"Owe! Jesus Christ, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I exclaim, rubbing my arm.

"Mr. Cullen," Mr. Berty calls on me sternly.

"I can't believe you sometimes, man," Emmett says angrily. "Why are you such a prick to her?" he whispers.

"I was only _kidding_," I reply back, just as angry. I look away from him, completely pissed off. Which turns out to be a bad idea because it just earns me another blow to the arm.

"Why would you joke about that?" he hisses under his breath.

"FUCK! EMMETT, ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL?" I shout, making the chair squeak across the floor as I stand up.

"Edward Cullen! That is extremely inappropriate! I don't want to hear another word from you, do you hear me?"

"But sir, he keeps hitting me!" I complain.

"Then put your hand up and ask to be moved to another seat!" Mr. Berty scolds me.

"Sit down, Edward," Emmett says seriously.

"Fuck you!" I whisper angrily. I sit back down, putting as much distance between us as possible and not paying attention to him for the rest of the lesson.

* * *

Rose, Emmett, Bella, Alice and Jasper are already at the lunch table when I arrive in the cafeteria. Someone must mention me at the table because Bella's head turns towards me as I make my way over. I smile at her and she returns the gesture before turning back to Alice and continuing their conversation. There are two empty seats available. One next to Bella or one next to Rosalie. Not wanting to seem like a prick and not wanting to be near Rosalie or my shithead of a cousin. I sit down next to Bella. She looks back at me and smiles sheepishly, causing Rosalie to let out an annoyed groan. I look in her direction, giving her my infamous glare before turning back to Bella.

"Hey, how were the rest of your classes?" she asks quietly.

"Shit, as per usual. What about you?"

"They were alright, I guess," she replies nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders.

"Edward!" I hear Jessica exclaim excitedly, causing Bella to visibly tense up. "I didn't know you were back!" she adds, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me from behind.

When I glance at Bella, I can see the pain in her eyes. I smile apologetically at her.

I pat Jess's arms that are wound around my neck before turning my head to smile politely at her.

"Hey, Jess."

"How have you been?" she asks, unwinding her arms from around my neck before sitting down in the chair next to Rosalie. "I feel like I haven't seen you in _forev__–_oh. Hi, Bella," she says, cutting herself off.

Wow. You can actually _feel_the tension.

"Hi," Bella replies curtly.

"Haven't seen you in a while either," Jessica quips.

"Yeah, well, I'm back now," Bella replies just as icily.

"Why did you run off anyway?" Jess taunts.

"I don't think that's any of your business," Bella replies, shock clear in her voice.

"You hurt a_lot_ of people," Jessica replies.

"Yeah. And I'll have to live with those consequences for the rest of my life. But I'm here to fix my mistakes," Bella says seriously.

"You can't just come back here and _fix_ things like they're a broken ornament. Life doesn't work like that, Bella," Jessica says, anger creeping into her voice.

"Jess," I address her sternly since no one else seems willing to step in between them.

I glance at Alice – she looks completely shocked and uncomfortable. Jasper is watching everyone carefully, probably to make sure nothing gets out of hand. Emmett looks weary as he continues to glance at Bella to see if she's doing okay and Rosalie being the bitch she is, has an annoying amused expression on her face.

"What? Why are you defending her after what she did?" she asks, annoyed.

"That's between me and her, Jess. You shouldn't be acting like this," I reply honestly.

"You're not the only one she hurt, Edward! She hurt me before you even moved here!" she exclaims, her voice beginning to break.

"You know I can still hear you, right?" Bella chimes in, exasperation clear in her voice.

"Bella, don't," I say under my breath before looking back at Jessica. "I know you're upset, but you're getting all worked up over nothing. You need to talk to _Bella_about what happened back then," I tell her soothingly.

"She can't keep getting away with this shit!" she replies, her voice finally breaking as tears form in her eyes.

"Jess, don't be silly. Calm down," I reply calmly.

"She can't help it. It's habit by now," Bella scoffs.

"Bella, _shut up!_" Jessica shouts, standing up out of her seat.

"Shut up yourself, Jessica!" Bella yells back, also standing up.

"Listen to you two, quarrelling like an old married couple," Emmett jokes through a laugh.

"Why don't you run along and play with your car parts?" Jessica snaps back at him.

"Meow. Someone's feisty," Emmett responds, forming his hand into a cat paw clawing at the air.

"Shut it, Emmett," Rosalie scolds him before slapping him on the thigh.

"Whatever, I'm going," Jessica says quietly before picking up her bag.

"So am I," Bella says angrily, also picking up her bag.

I watch in bewilderment as both of them storm off in opposite directions of the cafeteria.

* * *

I call into the hospital on the way home from school. I organize to have Vicki and Riley meet in a private room so I can talk to them at the same time. They enter the room looking nervous and hesitant.

"Hey guys," I greet them kindly.

"What's wrong?" Vicki asks suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" I ask indifferently.

"Something's going on. I can tell," she says seriously.

"I just wanted to tell you guys that I'm back at school now."

"Does dat meen you won't see us no more?" Riley asks sadly.

"No, of course not. It just means I won't see you guys as much as I do now," I reassure them. "We're still gonna do stuff together. I get one day off school a week to come see you guys. And I'm still taking you guys to the fair," I add enthusiastically.

"Promise?" Riley asks.

"I promise," I reply, smiling at both of them.

"Okay then," Vicki replies happily. "But you've had a bad day, I can tell." she adds seriously.

"It wasn't bad, per say. Just stressful," I reply nonchalantly.

"Are you been pickt on?" Riley asks sympathetically. I laugh lightly as a smile forms on my lips.

"No, Riley. I'm not being picked on," I reassure him.

"It's girl troubles, isn't it?" Vicki asks, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"You're too perceptive for your own good," I tell her earnestly. She smiles at me and shrugs her shoulders.

"It'll be okay, Eddie. If you love her and she loves you, you'll work everything out," she replies soothingly, smiling at me sweetly.

"You're an angel, do you know that?" I tell her in awe. Her small smile turns into a grin and I pull her into my arms for a hug. "Thanks, Vicki," I whisper in her ear before letting her go.

"I should probably be off. I'll come see you next week," I tell them, ruffling up Riley's hair as I walk past him and out of the room.

* * *

Bella and Tanya are in the living room with Alice when I get home. I head towards them and sit down on the empty couch. I glance over at Bella to see that she's avoiding eye contact with me. which is odd.

"Something wrong, Bella?" I ask her straightforwardly.

"Huh? What?" she asks taken aback, spinning around to face me.

"You're acting weird," I tell her honestly.

"Oh. Um. I thought you were mad at me."

"Why would I be mad at you?" I ask confused.

"See, I _told _you he wasn't mad at you!" Alice says exasperatedly, throwing her arms in the air for emphasis.

"Whywould I be mad?" I ask, still confused.

"Because of what happened with Jessica today," Bella replies, her tone insinuating that I should already know the answer.

"That's between you two – it had nothing to do with me."

"Well, she seemed pretty pissed off about what I did to you," she mumbles.

"That's because we're _friends_," I reply, shaking my head at her.

"Right. _Friends."_

"Are you trying to imply something, Bella?" I ask pointedly, folding my arm across my chest.

"Who me? Of course not," she replies sarcastically.

"If you've got a problem, voice it," I tell her seriously.

"I don't have a problem. I just didn't realize how _close _you and Jessica were," she replies coolly.

"God, jealous much?" I scoff, shaking my head in amusement.

"Of course I'm jealous, Edward! I love you and you say you love me, but you act closer to my enemy than what you do with me!" she exclaims, standing up from the couch.

"Jessia isn't your enemy! You left me, Bella, I can't just act as though nothing ever happened just because you're back!" I shout back, standing up as well.

"What do you expect from me?" she exclaims, tears running down her face. "I've tried telling you how I feel. I've tried explaining why I did what I did, but you won't hear any of it!" she adds, walking towards me.

"Guys, guys, guys! I think we all need to take a breath and calm down," Tanya says gently.

"I'm with Tanya," Alice agrees.

"I'm not ready. I told you I need time," I tell Bella softly.

"Well, I don't know what else I'm meant to do! I don't know how to act around you anymore. I don't know when you're angry with me. I don't know what to say to you because what I want to say, you wont let me say it," she replies sadly, her voice breaking as she sobs quietly. "I'd give you my world if I could, but how can I if you won't take it from me?" she adds, closing her eyes.

"Why did everything turn around so badly for us?" I ask, my voice just as quiet.

"Everything's waiting for you. You just have to listen," she replies, opening her eyes and staring into mine.

"I can't…" I reply hesitantly.

"I love you," she whispers.

"Bella…"

"I love you," she says determinedly. I look around the room to notice that Alice and Tanya have snuck out to leave us alone again.

"How can I fix things between us if you won't let me?" she exclaims frustrated, turning away from me.

"Bella, look at me."

"No."

"You know I love you," I tell her softly, my voice pained.

"No, I don't know that! Because you say you love me, but you act as though you don't know!" she shouts, finally turning around to face me.

My heart pounds in my chest as I continue to watch the sobs shake her body and the tears fall down her face. All of my love for her overflows and before I know what they're doing, my feet are closing the distance between us. I cup her face in my hands and press my lips to hers in a frenzy, trying to convey how much I really do still love her. She kisses me back as she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls my closer to her. When I come to my senses, I pull away from her roughly.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to her, rubbing my thumbs across her cheekbones, wiping away her tears. She places her hands on top of mine and closes her eyes. When I go to remove my hands from her face, she holds onto them more tightly.

"Bella, I shouldn't have done that." I whisper sadly, the pain seeping into my voice.

"What?" she asks softly, the tone of her voice filled with shock and confusion.

"That shouldn't have happened," I tell her seriously.

"But…" she cuts herself off, frowning with confusion as she looks into my eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper, pulling myself away from her and putting distance between us.

"Edward, please. Don't," she chokes out, tears falling down her cheeks.

I can't take seeing the rejection and pain in her eyes, so I do the only thing I can think of.

I stride past her and out of the living room, tears finally forming in my eyes. I wipe them away furiously as I make my way upstairs to my room.

* * *

**So this chapter is all about Edward's mixed feelings towards Bella. Thanks to everyone who are still adding this story to their alerts and favourites and thanks to all of you who have been reviewing.**

**And speaking of reviews, there has been a few of you who have expressed your unhappiness about how Alice, Jasper and Emmett have all accepted Bella back into their lives, and how Edward still loves her etc etc.**

**So. I would just like to point out, that when you love someone, that love can overshadow every problem and distaste you once had for someone after they hurt you. When someone you love makes a mistake and hurts you deeply, you don't always just hate them and never want to see them again. Sometimes people forgive someone that's hurt them because they don't want to risk losing them again.**

**In the earlier chapters you don't see much interaction between Bella, Jazz and Em. They weren't as close as what Bella, Alice and Rose were. So of course they're going to be welcoming towards her. They don't completely trust her 100% now that she's back. They're just happy to see her and know that she's okay. Alice, Jasper and Emmett will all tell Bella how they feel about what she did eventually, when it finally sinks in that she's back.**

**And just to clear a few other things up, Bella doesn't think everything is okay. She knows what she did was wrong, and she's come back to Forks to face her mistakes and fix what she's broken. I understand where you're all coming from, but, when I write, I write from personal experiences and personal emotions. So, for you to say that Edward should want nothing to do with her and everyone is too welcoming to her, it makes me feel like you're saying that the decisions and things I've felt for people in my life, are wrong.**

**I would also like to point out the plotline of New Moon. Are you saying when Edward and the rest of the Cullens left Bella, then when they returned, Bella should have never forgiven them as easily as she did? That she should have wanted nothing to do with Edward and should never have accepted him back?**

**This is my first story, I'm going to make mistakes. But this is my story and to be honest, I'll write it how I want. And I'm sorry if you don't like it and if you end up flouncing.**

**Okay, I'm done with my ranting. If you read all of that, cool. Thank you, it means a lot. If you didn't, whatever.**

**Natalee-x**


	32. Revelations

**Chapter Thirty Two** – _(Revelations)_

**BPOV**

* * *

On Wednesday afternoon after school, I go back to Alice's house to hang out with her, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. To my dismay, Edward isn't there when we get back. I think he's been avoiding me since he kissed me. I've never felt so confused in my entire life. Emmett says something about him hanging out with Jacob over at the reservation, snapping me out of my daydreaming.

"When did they become friends?" I ask curiously.

"Not long after, um," Emmett sputters.

"After I left?" I ask, finishing his sentence.

"Yeah," he replies quietly, smiling at me apologetically.

"There's something about Jacob that's just…" I trail off.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Jasper says seriously.

"Edward's like, not doing drugs or anything, is he?" I ask concerned. Jasper and Emmett look between each other, avoiding my gaze.

"He was–" Emmett says hesitantly.

"But he's not anymore," Jasper adds confidently.

"Are you sure?" I ask uncertainly.

"I gave him a pretty huge lashing when I found out, and so did Dad. So I'm pretty positive he's not," Jazz replies, shrugging his shoulders.

"Okay…"

To be perfectly honest, Jacob gives me the skeeves. There's always been something about him that put my nerves on edge. I guess I can't exactly judge Jacob because I don't really know him. And if Edward feels like he's not any trouble, then I guess I should trust his judgment. Edward doesn't seem like the kind of person to hang around with the wrong crowd.

"Bella, you have nothing to worry about," Jasper reassures me.

"Yeah. Jazz always uses the mom card on him," Emmett says through a laugh.

"The mom card?" I ask confused.

"The whole 'how do you think your mom would feel if she saw you like this' speech," Alice explains.

"Uh. Right," I mumble.

"Anyway," Alice says. "Let's grab some munchies and watch a couple of movies," she adds cheerfully.

"Yeah!" Emmett hollers excitedly.

"Yay, movie night with Bellaaa," Rosalie murmurs sarcastically.

I glance over at her to see her expression filled with annoyance. Emmett nudges her with his shoulder and looks at her pointedly, which just causes her to glare at him. He rolls his eyes at her before pulling her to him and planting a kiss on her lips. I see the corners of her mouth turn up into a small smile when he pulls away and whispers something in her ear. The scene makes me smile softly before looking away, making me feel as though I'm intruding on their moment.

I go into the kitchen with Alice to help her make the popcorn and pour it – and the chips and lollies – into plastic bowls.

"Is she ever going to forgive me?" I ask Alice.

"Who, Rose?" she asks as she continues to poor the drinks.

"Yeah," I reply quietly, my voice sad.

"She'll come around," she replies, glancing over at me hesitantly. "To be honest, I haven't completely forgiven you either. I know you don't want to hear it, and I don't really want to tell you this because I don't want you to feel ganged up on and I don't want you to, um –"

"You think I'll run off again if you all don't forgive me straight away," I reply, not stating the sentence as a question.

"Well, you broke our trust Bella. I don't know what you'll do," she replies quietly.

"Alice, I know what I did was wrong. I'm here to fix my mistakes. I'm not going to run off if you tell me you don't completely trust me anymore," I tell her honestly.

"Okay. Well, good," she responds through a shaky laugh.

"I know I have to earn your forgiveness and trust back. Same with Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Edward," I tell her. "I'm not going to give up on all of you," I add, softening the tone of my voice.

"I know, Bella. You don't have to explain yourself. We all still love you," she conveys, smiling sheepishly.

"I know," I respond, returning her smile before picking up the bowls of popcorn and heading back out into the living room. I hand one to Jasper and Emmett, they both thank me kindly. I hand Rosalie hers and she glances up at me, shock on her face for a split second before she composes herself and takes the bowl out of my hands. I don't blame her for being shocked. She probably thinks I'd give up on trying to earn her forgiveness and being friends with her by now, because of how she's been treating me.

"Thanks," she mumbles quietly.

I smile softly at her before I walk back into the kitchen. I grab the bowls of chips and lollies, walking back out into the living room as Alice carries the drinks on a tray. I place the bowls on the coffee table as Alice hands everyone their drinks. Alice sits down next to Jasper while I sit in one of the couches, making it recline out in front of me so I'm more comfortable. We decide on watching Troy; it's filled with gorgeous Greek men and romance for the girls and beautiful Greek women and action for the boys.

* * *

Alice followed through with her promise to get Tanya a job at the Forks Diner. And speak of the devil; she turns up half an hour later. Jasper jumps up to answer the door and let her in. She walks over to me, greeting me with a kiss on my forehead before smiling kindly at everyone else and laying down on top of me, her head resting on my left shoulder.

"Hey, how was work?" I ask quietly.

"It was good. Everyone loves me," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders as though it's no big deal.

"That doesn't really surprise me. You are pretty awesome," I quip, laughing quietly.

"I am, aren't I?" she jokes, smiling down at me. I roll my eyes at her and shake my head.

"Be quiet, you're distracting me from the movie," I say seriously.

"You've already seen it," she giggles but stops abruptly, when a pillows hits her in the head.

"Hey!" she exclaims, looking over at Emmett.

"Shhhhh. You're ruining the movie," Emmett says in a mock whiny voice.

Tanya pokes her tongue out at him before pegging the pillow back at him with full force. He grins before throwing it at her again.

"Are you guys having fun?" Alice asks sarcastically.

"Yeah, we're trying to watch a movie here," Jasper adds.

Tanya lets out a laugh as she pegs the pillow back at Emmett. My eyes go wide with shock when it spins to the right and hits Rosalie straight in the face. Everyone in the room goes silent as Rosalie turns to glare at Tanya. Tanya quirks her brow at Rosalie, daring her to make a scene about what just happened. I glance over at Alice and Jasper. Alice matches my expression of shock, but Jasper is pursing his lips together, trying not to laugh.

"Are you fucking serious?" Rosalie snaps angrily.

"Oh, grow a back bone," Tanya says through a sigh.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie replies, her voice thick with rage.

"Can you be any more of a princess? It was obviously an accident," Tanya replies exasperatedly

"Can you be anymore fucking annoying?" Rosalie retorts even more furious. "Go back to California," she mumbles under her breath.

"Do you want to say that a bit louder?" Tanya taunts her.

"Guys," Jasper says seriously.

"It was just a bit of fun," I say quietly.

"Why don't you go back to California as well?" Rosalie spits at me, standing up from the couch and going to walk away.

I practically push Tanya off my lap to get off the couch and face Rosalie.

"Are you ever going to get over your temper tantrum?" I ask incredulously, my temper beginning to flare. "I'm back for good, Rosalie. So get used to it because I'm not going anywhere!" I shout at her.

"Well, I wish you never came back!" she yells, her voice beginning to break.

"I'm sorry I didn't confide in you after you confided in me, okay? I was scared and I didn't know what to do. I had really bad insecurities and fears back then. I know I have to earn your forgiveness and trust back, but you don't have to be so hostile about it," I tell her, my voice softening.

"Damn right you have to earn my forgiveness. But I don't give a shit about your insecurities at the moment," she replies, her voice low and filled with anger.

I take a step back, it feeling as though she's physically hit me. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. I turn around and run out of the room, not wanting anyone to see me cry. I hear Tanya and Rosalie get into another screaming match as I lean up against the island counter.

"She's trying to make things right, Rosalie! Why can't you just be more civil towards her?" Tanya exclaims.

"What has this got to do with you?" Rosalie responds.

"That girl is like a little sister to me. I don't appreciate the way you treat her," Tanya says angrily.

"Well, I don't appreciate the way she waltzes back here expecting all to be forgiven," Rosalie retorts icily.

"She doesn't expect anything like that! Do you ever listen to anything anyone says to you? She knows she fucked up, okay? She's not the heartless bitch you're making her out to be!" Tanya shouts.

"That's it – I've had enough of this bullshit!" Emmett shouts. "Rosie, you seriously need to tone it down with your rage. Bella's obviously been through a lot, and it's her story to tell when she's ready to. Just give her a break, baby. Please?" he pleads comfortingly.

I can picture him placing his palm on her cheek, forcing her to look at him. I imagine his goofy lopsided smile before he leans in and kisses her softly on the lips. His affection for her makes my heart swell with longing and I slide down the counter and onto the ground. I wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees, unable to stop the tears from falling down my face.

I hear the back sliding door open and glance up to see Edward enter the room. He spots me on the ground and distress automatically fills his expression. I fold my arms in front of my chest as he rushes over and kneels down in front of me, cupping my face in his hands.

"What's wrong?" he asks softly, concern clear in his voice.

"Nothing, I'm fine," I reply softly, filled with embarrassment. I haven't been within this close proximity to him since he kissed me that day.

"You are clearly not fine," he smiles softly at me as he continues to stroke my cheeks. I glance up at him through my lashes.

"Can you please not hold my face like that?" I ask softly. He drops his hands from my face and places them on top of my knees.

"Right. Sorry," he murmurs.

"It's okay. Rosalie's just being Rosalie," I mumble, my voice hoarse from crying.

"What did she do?" he asks.

"Don't worry about it," I tell him.

"I will worry about it. I'm sick of her treating you like this," he says seriously, anger creeping into his voice.

"And what about how you're treating me?" I ask sadly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asks offended.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe how you randomly kiss me and tell me you love me. Then tell me it's a mistake, avoid me and then as soon as you see I'm upset, you rush to my side and get all protective of me," I reply honestly.

"I'm sorry," he replies sincerely. "I didn't mean to make things more complicated between us," he adds quietly.

"Neither did I," I murmur under my breath.

"Will you please just tell me what happened?" he asks.

"I don't want to talk about it," I respond reluctantly.

"Bella…"

"Please?" I plead, placing my hands on top of his and squeezing them lightly. "I can't handle any more drama," I add, my voice thick with sadness.

"Okay," he says quietly, running his thumbs across the back of my hands soothingly before smiling softly at me. "What are you doing this weekend?" he asks.

"Nothing," I mumble. "Why?" I ask curiously.

"I'm going to a party, you should come too," he says kindly, "I think everyone else is going as well. You can bring Tanya and introduce her to some more people or something," he adds, breaking our gaze as though he thinks I wouldn't want to go to a party with him.

I smile softly at him before nodding my head. "Okay," I reply quietly.

"Bella?" Emmett's voice calls out as he enters the kitchen. "Oh. Um, I'll just, uhh," Emmett stutters and turns to walk back out.

"It's okay, Em. I was just about to head upstairs," Edward says before standing. He holds his hands out to me. I put my hands in his and he pulls me to my feet.

"Thanks," I say quietly. He smiles at me before walking out of the kitchen, leaving Emmett and I alone.

"So, are you guys like, okay now?" he asks hesitantly, confusion also clear in his voice.

"We're on speaking terms, I guess," I mumble.

"And touching terms," Emmett quips, waggling his eyebrows. I let out a sigh before rolling my eyes at him and leaning back against the kitchen island. "What were you and Eddie talking about before I interrupted?" he asks.

"Nothing important. He just told me about a party this weekend. Said I should go," I reply nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders.

"Oh. Jake's party?" he asks.

"I don't know. He didn't say who's it was."

"It's probably Jake's party. We're all going," he says thoughtfully. "Yeah, you should come," he adds, grinning at me.

"Maybe."

"You need to let loose and have some fun, you're coming," he says seriously. "Are you sure you're okay, Button?"

"Edward kissed me yesterday," I tell him honestly before I can stop myself.

"What? Are you okay?" he asks shocked, concern clear in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"Damn. Are you sure? I mean that doesn't really help with all his mood swings and shit," he says seriously. "And I know Rosie can be pretty intense too," he adds softly.

"I'm fine," I respond, letting out a heavy sigh. "Emmett?" I address him cautiously.

"Yeah?"

"I'm really sorry for what I did," I say quietly.

"I know," he reassures.

"And I know I have to earn back everyone's forgiveness. So, do you think maybe I can, you know, explain everything to you guys now?" I ask hesitantly.

"What do you mean?" he asks confused.

"About um, why I left and such."

"Oh," he says taken aback. "Yeah, sure. I guess," he adds, shrugging his shoulders.

I smile thankfully at him before walking over to him and winding my arms around his waist. He folds his arms around my shoulders as I squeeze him tightly. "Thanks," I mumble against his chest.

"Come on, Bella Button. Let's go tell your story," he replies softly, keeping his arms splayed across my shoulders as he leads me back into the living room.

* * *

As soon as I explained everything to Jasper and Emmett about what happened with my mom and why I left Forks the way I did, I think I almost saw tears in Jasper's eyes as he stood up from the couch and rushed over to hug me tightly.

"I can't believe you went through all of that. No wonder you left," he whispered in my ear as he continued to hug me.

"That's some serious fucked up shit, Button. I'm sorry," Emmett said seriously, engulfing me in a hug as well.

When I looked over to Alice, she had tears streaming down her face, even though she already knew the story. Sadly, Rosalie wasn't there when I explained everything to Jasper and Emmett. Apparently she took off out of the house after Emmett stepped in between her and Tanya's yelling war.

* * *

I had Trig first hour and Jessica ignored me the entire time. She and I don't normally sit together in that class, but our teacher made us draw out a name out of a hat. And whoever's name we drew, we were told they would be our Trig buddy for the rest of the semester. There were a lot of groans of annoyance and complaints.

"Miss Swan, are you with us on planet earth today?" Mr. Berty asks, snapping me out of my memory.

"Sorry," I mumble. "What was the question?" I ask.

"I didn't ask you a question," he replies, letting out a heavy sigh as he shakes his head with disappointment.

"Then why are you tormenting her?" Rosalie asks, stunning the absolute hell out of me. I glance over at her, my expression no doubt filled with shock.

"What was that, Miss Hale?" Mr. Berty asks, daring her repeat herself.

"I said," she says pointedly. "If you didn't ask her a question, then why are you scolding her about day dreaming?" she adds sarcastically.

"Because whether I asked her a question or not, she should be paying attention in class," he responds seriously. "For if I was to ask her a question, she would be prepared to answer."

"Righto. Whatever," she mumbles.

I can't seem to take my eyes off her. Did she seriously just stick up for me? She glances over at me and meets my gaze.

"Thanks," I say quietly.

"Yeah. Look, Emmett said I need to apologize to you about yesterday, so–"

"I don't want an apology from you, if you don't really mean it," I tell her honestly, my voice sad.

She closes her eyes and lets out a heavy sigh before looking back to me.

"I do mean it," she says seriously. "I didn't mean to be such a horrible bitch yesterday," she replies, her voice quiet.

"Okay," I reply, smiling thankfully at her.

She just rolls her eyes before breaking our gaze and looking back to the front of the classroom. _Oh, well. At least it__'__s some positive progress with her_, I think to myself.

Baby steps, Bella.

Baby steps.

* * *

Rosalie and I walk to lunch together in silence. It's still tense between us, but it's better than what it has been for the past week. Everyone stares at us warily as we make our way to the table. I can feel the annoyance rolling off of Edward and the anxiety coming from Alice.

"Hey guys," I greet them kindly, sitting in my seat next to Edward.

I look around to everyone at the table and smile at them politely, even Jessica. She just looks away and avoids my gaze like the plague though.

I glance over at Edward and when my eyes met his, he smiles softly at me.

"Is everything okay?" he asks quietly, looking over to Rosalie before looking back to me. I return his smile and nod my head.

"Did you do it?" I hear Emmett ask Rosalie.

"Yes," I hear her reply curtly, clearly annoyed with his persistence. I roll my eyes before looking over to Emmett.

"You don't have to force her to apologize, Emmett. She's not a baby. I'm pretty sure she has a mind of her own," I tell him, shock forming on his face from me sticking up for her.

"Yeah, doofus. I have a mind of my own," Rosalie quips, playfully punching him in the arm. She turns to look at me and gives me an actual genuine smile for once. I return her smile before looking back at Edward.

He has confusion and shock, written all over his face. I laugh quietly which causes the corners of his lips up into his crooked grin. He leans in closer to me. I lean forward, meeting him half way.

"I've missed your laugh," he whispers in my ear.

I sit back in my seat properly, feeling the blush rush into my cheeks as my lips turn up into a smile. I glance over at Alice to see she's grinning ear to ear, Jasper has a content smile on his face, Emmett winks at me, which causes me to lean further back into my seat from embarrassment. And Rosalie rolls her eyes before looking away and smiling softly. Jessica is still avoiding my gaze.

"Hey, Rose?" I address her nervously.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to come over tomorrow afternoon?" I ask politely.

"Uhhh."

"I just want to um, talk to you about something."

"Okay," she replies hesitantly, quirking her brow at me.

I can't stop my smile of triumph.

* * *

I had English with Rosalie again today. She began conversing with me more often and actually asking me questions and my opinion on some of the questions we had to answer during the lesson. We worked pretty well as a team for the first time in a long time.

She began to ask why I wanted her to come over this afternoon though. I kept avoiding the subject, telling her I'd explain everything when we got back to mine and Tanya's cottage. She admitted she was pretty excited to see the place, considering Alice keeps going on and on about how beautiful and spectacular it is.

I think she was a little jealous, to be honest.

Then she asked, in a semi-insecure soft tone, why I didn't call her and tell her I was coming back as well as telling Alice. I avoided that question as well, which just caused her to become frustrated and annoyed with me once again.

She didn't talk to me during lunch either, which just made me think she wasn't going to come over this afternoon after all.

I snap out of my memory as I notice Rosalie waiting for me by the front steps of the school. I can't stop the sigh of relief that escapes me, a smile forming on my lips as I make my way over to her.

"Hey," I greet her kindly.

"Hey," she responds, turning her head to face me.

"I didn't think you were still coming," I confess.

"Neither did I," she replies honestly.

I smile softly at her before walking down the steps. Tanya pulls into the parking lot just as Rosalie catches up and falls into step with me. Tanya looks between Rosalie and me, confusion clear as day on her face. She quirks her brow at me as I sit in the passenger seat and Rosalie hops in the back seat. I give Tanya a pointed look, silently telling her not to be rude.

"Hey, Rosalie," Tanya greets her softly, but kindly.

"Hey," Rosalie responds just as quietly. I can tell she feels extremely out of place and uncomfortable.

"How much of a weird mood was Mr. Berty in today?" I ask Rose, making conversation and trying to break the tension. She lets out a sigh of relief and smiles at me gratefully.

"I know, right? I dunno what's up with him lately."

"Maybe it's your snide remarks," I joke.

"Meh, maybe he needs to grow a back bone," she jokes back.

Tanya laughs beside me, glancing at Rosalie in the rear view mirror.

"Is that pun intended, Miss Hale?" Tanya asks playfully.

"Maybe," Rosalie replies mischievously

All three of us laugh and continue to joke around as we make our way back to the cottage.

* * *

After I explain everything to Rosalie, she stays silent for a fairly long time. She picks up her cup of tea that Tanya made her and takes a sip out of it slowly. I begin to bop my leg up and down, anxiety and impatience beginning to overtake me. I don't know how long we all sit there in silence, but I eventually break the tension.

"Can you please say something?" I ask softly.

"Sorry," Rosalie mumbles. "I'm just trying to get my head around all that information," she adds honestly.

"Yeah, it's a fair bit to take in."

"Just a tad," Tanya chimes in, laughing lightly.

Rosalie lets out a heavy sigh before finally meeting my gaze.

"Look, I understand your situation and everything, Bella. But what you did was really hypocritical," she says quietly, looking away from me again. "I mean, you did to Edward exactly what your mother did to you. And you destroyed him," she adds, looking back into my eyes.

"I know," I whisper sadly.

"He's only just starting to get back to normal now because of Jessica fucking Stanley of all people," she murmurs. "She gave him that Big Brother program opportunity – which is just weird all on its own because he's become so attached to those kids its crazy. He's changed so much – he isn't the same person anymore," she adds, her voice becoming sad.

"I feel horrible," I tell her sadly. "But I'm going to do everything I can to make it up to him, and to the rest of you. I know things won't go back to normal straight away. I mean, I know I deserve to have to be forced to earn all your trust back," I add quietly.

"Yeah, you do," she says honestly, causing me to look away from her shamefully.

"Watch it," Tanya warns her in an icy tone.

"It's alright, Tan," I reassure her, letting out a hefty sigh. "Rose has always been an extremely honest person. It's what I love about her," I add, a small smile on my face. I glance over at Rosalie and she returns the gesture.

"As much as you've pissed me off and as much as I was an extreme bitch to you–"

"Understatement," Tanya says through a cough. Rosalie glares at her and Tanya quirks her brow, daring Rosalie to object to her statement.

"Anyway," Rose says. "Believe it or not, I am glad you're back," she adds sincerely.

"Thanks, Rose," I reply, my voice soft.

"And try not to worry about Edward too much, he'll come around. He was in a pretty bad place until he stopped feeling sorry for himself and got his shit together. But he loves you."

"Sometimes I'm not so sure," I mumble.

"I know him pretty well, so believe me when I say he still loves you," she says seriously. "He's just still hurting. He needs some time to get used to the fact you're back. For all he knows, you could just up and leave again. We all feel that way," she adds, shrugging her shoulders as though she doesn't know what else to say to reassure me.

"I will never do that again. I'm never leaving any of you," I reply seriously.

"Good. Because I'd probably hunt you down and kick your ass," she jokes.

I think.

Her tone still sounds pretty serious, so I'm not too sure.

"I don't doubt you for a second," I reply, laughing nervously. She grins at me before leaning over and embracing me in a tight hug.

"I missed you," she whispers.

"I missed you too, Rose," I murmur, wrapping my arms around her waist and hugging her tightly to me.

* * *

**So this chapter is all about Bella explaining everything to the Cullen's... Minus Edward, obviously.**

**I'd just like to thank every single one of you who read my rant and understood where I was coming from. Your kind words and support mean everything to me. **

**Thank you to everyone who are still continuing to add this story to their alerts and favourites. I've gotten a fair few of them, but not many reviews. Come on, guys, drop me a comment of your thoughts. I don't bite, I promise ;)**

**I've written up to chapter 35 ****I'm working on chapter 36. Ch33, 34 and 35 are** all sent off to my amazing Beta: Jenndur. So, I should be continuing my weekly updates without falling behind (: 

**I have seven chapters to complete - including chapter 36 - and then the story will be done. So the last chapter should be posted on the 9th of November - The Epilogue maybe a day or two afterwards. I'm not a complete evil troll, I'm not going to make you wait a week for the Epilogue.**

**natalee-x**


	33. Indignations

_**Note: **_Bella's clothes at Jake's Party: _**http:/i53 . tinypic . com/2udyrh1 . jpg  
**_Edward's clothes at Jake's Party:_ **http:/i51 . tinypic . com/15qysuf . jpg**_

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty Three**__ – (Indignations) _

**EPOV**

* * *

Bella is in the kitchen with Rosalie when I eventually remove myself from my room in the afternoon. I stop in my tracks as soon as I see them together.

"Is everything okay?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Rose asks. I quirk my brow at her, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

"We sorted everything out," Bella says softly.

"Oh, okay," I reply, shrugging my shoulders. "Are you coming to the party tonight?" I ask Bella as I open the fridge and pull out the apple juice.

"Yeah. Emmett is practically forcing me too," she replies, laughing lightly.

"He can't force you to do something you don't want to do," I tell her seriously, glancing over at her as I pour the juice into a glass.

"No, I do want to go. You know, let loose and have a bit of fun," she says quietly, breaking our gaze.

"Okay," I reply, letting out a heavy sigh before gulping down my drink and putting the juice back the fridge.

"What is with you two? You guys are so weird," Rosalie criticizes.

"Shut up," I respond, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Whatever," she says through a laugh. "Come on, Bella. Let's go. We have to meet Alice and Tanya," she adds, walking out of the kitchen with Bella following behind her.

I almost fall over in shock. When the hell did they become best buddies again? After the way Rose was treating her, I thought she'd never want anything to do with Bella again. Fucking hell, chicks work in mysterious ways sometimes.

"I'll see you tonight!" I call out to them.

Bella turns her head around to look at me – she smiles before giving me a small wave of goodbye.

* * *

I hang around the house all day – watching TV, playing the Xbox, organizing activities to do with Riley and Vicki – before grabbing my sports bag, filling it with clothes for tonight and heading over to Jake's to help him set up for the party.

I walk into 7 Eleven on the way over there. It seems only right to help Jake out and buy a few things for the party. I make my way through the aisles, grabbing a whole heap of chips, dips and lollies and putting them in the basket. There's no doubt a shit load of people are probably just going to turn up with straight bottles of Vodka, so it only makes sense to buy shit to mix the alcohol with. And Jake, being the over generous idiot he is, will probably want to mix up a punch for everyone to dig in to as well. So I make my way over to the fridge section, grabbing a few bottles of the fruity soft drinks as well as Coke, Sunkist and Sprite.

When I'm done in the grocery store, I continue my way over to Jake's. Billy is out on the balcony again when I arrive. I don't know if he knows about the party or not, so I leave everything I bought in the car.

"Hey, Edward," he greets me kindly.

"Hey, Billy. Is Jake home?"

"He sure is. Down the back as usual. You coming to the party tonight?"

Well, that answers my dilemma about whether he knows about the party or not.

"Yeah, I am. I actually bought a few things for it. Do you mind if I bring it all inside?"

"You didn't have to buy anything, son. Jake's got it all organized."

"I know, I just wanted to contribute something."

"You're a good kid, Ed. You know that?" he states, a smile on his face.

"Thanks, Billy," I murmur awkwardly, returning his smile before walking back to my car and grabbing everything I bought.

Someone pulls up to the house and gets out of the car.

"Hey, Bill. You ready?" the man asks.

"Sure am, Harry," Billy replies, rolling his wheelchair down the ramp to meet Harry.

I glance over at the car to see Charlie Swan is in the passenger seat. He must feel my gaze on him because her turns to look at me. His eyes automatically narrow and he gets out of the car.

"Let me help you with that, Billy," he mumbles.

"Hi, Charlie," I greet him kindly.

"Edward," he responds curtly.

"You seen Bella lately?" I ask him.

"Bella? What?" he asks confused.

"You know. Your daughter," I say hesitantly.

"I know who she is, boy!" he retorts angrily. "She took off months ago. You of all people should know about that," he adds sadly.

"Um. She came back about a week ago, Charlie," I tell him honestly.

"She did?" he asks shocked. "Why hasn't she come home?" he adds sadly.

"Seriously?" I scoff. "She hasn't gone to your house because she's afraid of you," I add, my tone disgusted. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Billy's head sway from side to side as he looks between Charlie and I.

"Why would Bella be afraid of Charlie, Edward?" Billy asks hesitantly.

"Oh, I don't know? Maybe because this fucking prick hit her," I reply angrily,

"Where did you here that, son?" Billy asks softly.

"Bella told me and she had a pretty nasty bruise on her face to prove it,"

"I did no such thing! How dare you come here and spit those kind of lies!" Charlie shouts hysterically.

"Are you that much of a drunk you don't remember doing it?" I ask incredulously, the tone of my voice filled with anger.

"I can't believe that girl!" he growls.

"Now, Charlie. You need to calm down," Harry says soothingly.

"Yeah, mate. You don't want your blood pressure to get too high again," Billy adds.

"I'm sure all of this is a misunderstanding," Harry reassures.

"She's a reckless klutz. She probably ran into something," Charlie mutters to himself. "I can't believe she's gone around telling everyone I hit her to hide her embarrassment," He adds angrily.

"I'm pretty fucking sure she wouldn't make something like that up to hide her clumsiness." I reply incredulously.

"Edward," Billy says sternly, wheeling over to me and placing his hand on my arm. "That's enough, son," he adds, giving me a pointed look before smiling at me apologetically.

"Right. Sorry," I murmur. "Are you not staying tonight?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Lord no, son. I wouldn't be able to handle all you young kids and the riff raff you get up to," he replies through a chuckle. "I think Jake is cleaning up his garage, you could leave the stuff down there if you want? He's got a fridge and all that," he suggests.

"Okay. Thanks, Billy. It was nice seeing you," I reply kindly as he wheels his chair back over to Charlie. Charlie wheels Billy over to Harry's car before climbing back into the passenger seat. He glares at me through the window and I return the gesture.

Fucking prick.

* * *

"Hey man, I bought you some shit for tonight," I tell Jake as I enter his garage.

Jake has moved his Rabbit outside and cleaned the whole garage. He's fiddling with a few cords, trying to set up some sort of stereo system.

"What?" he asks surprised. "You didn't have to do that," he adds seriously.

"It's cool. Gave me something to do," I reply nonchalantly.

He turns around to face me, cocking his brow at me. I shrug my shoulders before I begin to put all the soft drinks and dips inside the fridge and put the chips and lollies on his small table.

"Who were you shouting at just then?" he asks curiously.

"Charlie,"

"As in Chief Swan, Bella's dad?" he asks astonished.

"Yes."

"What was all that yelling about?"

"It's doesn't matter,"

"Edward." He addresses me pointedly.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair, gripping it in frustration. "He's just a fucking idiot," I mumble.

"What's he done? Are you in some kind of trouble with the law?" he asks concerned.

"It's nothing like that," I tell him, rolling my eyes. "It was about Bella." I add.

"What about her?"

"He didn't even know she was back,"

"Seriously?" he asks, his tone filled with surprise.

"Well, I don't blame her for not telling him. It's not like he even gives a shit about her, he treats her like shit,"

"Really? How so?"

"He just always says really horrible things to her." I tell him. And he hit her," I add in a softer tone.

"You're fucking kidding me," he growls.

"Unfortunately, I'm not."

"I'll be damned. Every time he comes over here to see dad he's always so nice," he says, his voice still filled with shock. "Anyway, speaking of Bella. Is she coming tonight?" he adds abruptly.

"Uh. I think so, yeah." I sputter.

"That's good, right?"

"Maybe," I reply, letting out a heavy sigh.

"What are you worried about?"

"I don't know. I just don't want any drama to happen, I guess."

"Why would there be any drama?" he asks confused.

"Because I kissed her."

"You what?" he asks, shocked. "What does that mean?" he adds.

"I don't know... It shouldn't have happened in the first place. I just didn't know what else to do – and anyway, when I drink I over analyze shit. So if she tries to talk to me about why she left, I'll probably loose my shit with her twice as bad as I usually do."

"Well, why don't you just listen to her instead of being a broody motherfucker all the time?"

"Are you deaf? Or have you just not been listening to me during any of our conversations about this topic?" I ask.

"Listening to you whine and bitch does get pretty boring after a while, so sometimes I just tune you out and smile and nod," he quips.

"Fuck you," I murmur, narrowing my eyes at him.

"You're such a girl," he teases.

"Fuck off. I am not."

"Whatever," he replies, shaking his head at me as he begins to laugh. I pick up an apple that's sitting on the small table and peg it at him.

"Owe! You're such a crazy bastard!" he exclaims, still laughing.

* * *

I don't know how many people turn up for Jake's party, but let's just say it's a lot.

I groan in annoyance when I see that Tyler and Mike have turned up.

"Well, look who it is," Tyler greets cockily.

"Fuck off, idiot," I scoff.

"I forgot how charming you are," Mike mocks.

"So I heard Bella's back," Tyler says.

"What's it to you?" I ask annoyed.

"Just wanna catch up with her, that's all. I wonder if she's changed her mind of my offer of showing her a good time," Tyler taunts.

"You stay the hell away from her," I warn.

"Or what?" Mike asks. "She left your sorry ass, remember?" he adds in a scoff.

I can't stop the anger that flares up inside of me. I lunge at Mike and punch him square in the jaw. Tyler grabs a hold of my by the shoulders and I elbow him in the stomach, causing him to loose his grip on me. He swings his arm at me and I duck just in time to miss the blow to my face. I push him on the chest as hard as I can, causing him to stumble backwards. Mike stalks towards me just as Jake makes his way towards us.

"Everything alright here, guys?" Jake asks, gripping Mike hard on the shoulder.

"Yeah, man. Everything's fine," Mike says nonchalantly.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I don't remember inviting you two," Jake says straightforwardly.

"It's a party, bro. Word's gonna get around," Tyler responds, shrugging his shoulders.

"I'm not your bro," Jake says sternly. "This is my property and I don't want you here, so I think you should leave," he adds seriously.

"C'mon dude, we weren't causing any trouble," Mike says.

"Didn't seem like that to me," Jake replies, quirking his brow at Mike.

"Whatever," Mike responds.

"Come on, Mike. This party looks like it's gonna be shit anyway," Tyler says, walking away.

"You keep telling yourself that!" Jacob calls out to them.

* * *

Jacob and I ended up in his garage, drinking a case of Budweiser between us. We were pretty wasted by the time everyone began showing up. Jasper and Emmett turned up a few hours after the party started. Alice, Bella, Tanya and Rose following not long afterwards. Bella looked so fucking hot. She was wearing a white shirt with ruffles placed upon it, a black leather jacket and red skinny leg jeans that hugged her in all the right places, a pair of black gladiator styled heels. I couldn't take my eyes off her until a couple of the guys were being annoying dickheads and started pissing me off. I told them to shut the fuck up or fuck off. This only caused them to try and pick a fight with me, and I responded by punching them both in the face and Jacob yelling at them to get off his property.

"Edward, I think you should stop drinking," Bella says, her voice clear with concern.

"Do you now?" I quip.

"Yes. I don't want to see you like this," she says sadly.

"And why do you care?" I ask angrily.

"Your mood swings are giving me whiplash. Why are you acting like this?"

"Oh, boohoo. Poor Bella," I mock.

"Come on, bro. There's no need to be like this," Jasper says.

"Oh, that's right. You're all good buddies again, aren't you?"

"Dude, why the fuck are you being so hostile? You kissed her for fuck sake. You have to stop treating her like this. It's not cool," Emmett scolds me.

"What the fuck? You told him?" I shout, turning to face Bella again.

"Edward…" she replies hesitantly.

"No, fuck this shit. You can all get fucked!" I yell, turning to walk away.

"Jesus Christ, Ed. Pull your head out of your ass and stop being such a prick!" Emmett yells back, grabbing me from behind and dragging me out of the garage.

"Fuck off!" I roar, turning around and throwing my fist at Emmett's face.

He responds by charging at me, his arms wrapping around my waist as we fall down to the ground. In this moment, I honestly do not give a fuck that Emmett is a huge motherfucker and could smash my head into the ground; I can't stop the rage that is building up inside of me. I flail my arms around, trying to get as many punches thrown at him as I can. Emmett doesn't try hitting me back – he just keeps me pinned to the ground.

"Edward. You need to calm the fuck down right now before I do something I'll regret," he hisses under his breath seriously. Everyone has run out of the house and garage by this point, gathering around us and watching us in shock.

"Edward, please! Stop," Bella chokes out in a sob.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I yell in Emmett's face. Unwanted tears beginning to well up in my eyes as all my emotions begin to overtake me.

"If I let you up, will you stop your fucking shit?" Emmett asks quietly, his voice serious. I nod my head and Emmett climbs off of me. He grabs me by the arms and pulls me to my feet. I thrash my arms around, shoving him off me and putting distance between us.

"Edward?" Bella approaches me hesitantly.

"Just stay out of it, Bella," I snap at her.

"What else am I supposed to do? I hate seeing you like this!" she exclaims hysterically.

"Why do you even care?" I ask, incredulously.

"Why do you keep asking me that? Why wouldn't I care?" she shouts angrily.

"You left me, remember?" I respond, my tone harsh. She takes a step back as though she's been stricken physically.

"I have reasons why I acted the way I did, Edward," she says sadly. "I told you that in the letter. It's not my fault you won't listen to me," she adds, her tone filled with frustration and anger.

"I can't listen to you because every time I look at you it fucking kills me," I reply, my tone filled with just as much frustration as hers.

"Then why do you always act so concerned when you see me upset? Why did you kiss me?" she asks, her voice cracking with sadness.

"Because all I want to do is take you in my arms and be with you but all I can remember is how much I loved you and you just threw it in my face." I reply, my voice beginning to break.

"Loved? Are you saying you don't love me anymore?" she asks dejectedly.

"Well, you obviously don't love me," I reply angrily.

"Are you serious right now?" she asks, incredulously. "Of course I fucking love you, you idiot. I love you more than anything else in this world," she adds, her voice filled with sadness. I glance over at her and see the hurt clear in her eyes.

"Bella…" I address her tentatively.

"Do you think it's not killing me, to know that I'm what's caused you to act this way towards me? Because it is, is that what you want to hear?" she asks, her voice beginning to rise with anger. "It's killing me, I'm in pain. I fucking get it!" she adds, her voice finally breaking. Her eyes well up with tears and she wipes them away furiously as they begin to fall down her face.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I –" I stammer. God, what the hell is wrong with my emotions right now? One minute I'm frustrated and angry with her, and then the next all the love I have for her floods me and all I want to do is hold her in my arms and tell her how much I'm sorry and how much I love her. Jesus Christ, how does she do this to me?

"Just forget it," she says sadly, cutting me off. She breathes a heavy sigh before turning her back on me and running off. Alice and Tanya run after her. Rosalie glares at me, her eyes filled with hostility.

"You can be such a jerk sometimes," she says, her tone ice cold.

"Are you fucking shitting me? Who was the one being a hostile cow towards her only a few days ago?" I snap back.

"Yeah, and I put my stubbornness aside and listened to what she had to say. Maybe you should do the same," she responds before turning on her heel and running off to catch up with Alice, Tanya and Bella.

"She's right, dude," Jasper says from beside.

"Don't," I respond sternly, before also walking away.

* * *

I ended up finding Jacob and staying with him for the rest of the night. Lauren ended up finding her way to the party, which did not help my foul mood at all. Jacob ended up telling everyone to leave the garage to give him and I a minute. I explained everything that happened between me, Emmett and Bella. He gave me his infamous disapproving expression before rolling his eyes at me and letting out a heavy sigh.

"I know you don't like hearing it, man, but they're right."

"So I keep hearing," I murmur.

"Well, maybe you should take all our advice and listen to her side of the story," he responds seriously.

"Sorry to interrupt," Jasper says as he walks into the garage. "I'm heading back home now. You want a lift?" he asks me.

"Yeah. Thanks," I reply quietly, knowing that if I say no he'll probably just drag me out anyway. Jacob and I stand up at the same time.

"Just do it," Jake says sternly before placing his hand on my shoulder. I smile thankfully at him before turning to Jasper.

"Well, come on," I tell Jasper, walking past him.

"Bye, Jacob," Jasper says before following me out of the garage.

* * *

When I wake up the next morning, there's a loud banging inside of my head as though someone is pounding a hammer onto my brain. All of my muscles hurt, and my stomach is doing summersaults. I pretty much feel as though I've been ran over by a train.

I drag myself out of bed and head into my bathroom, stripping off and getting under the boiling water. I let out a small hiss of pain as the hot water cascades onto my skin, stinging it slightly for a few seconds before it gets used to the temperature. I rest my head against the tiled shower wall for a few seconds before tilting my head back and letting the water run through my hair. I run my hands through my hair roughly, massaging my cranium and trying to force this splitting headache to go away.

I let out a heavy sigh and give up. I need some fucking Advil.

I quickly lather my body with soap and rinse off before getting out of the shower, drying myself quickly and wrapping the towel around my naked torso. I walk out into my room, ravaging through my closet to find something to wear. I settle for my black straight leg jeans and my Yankees jersey.

I head downstairs to have a quick breakfast. I'm greeted in the kitchen by Rosalie. She looks me over and quirks her brow at me.

"You should really apologize to Bella," she says seriously.

"Should I now?" I murmur.

"Yes. You should. And you should keep Jessica out of your problems," she responds annoyed.

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"I'll let you figure that one out for yourself."

"Rosalie," I address her pointedly. She lets out a frustrated sigh before meeting my gaze.

"Jessica and Bella got into a fight last night after you left," she confesses.

"What's new?" I scoff.

"Oh no, buddy. This wasn't a yelling match, it was a full blown cat fight," she says seriously.

"What?" I ask shocked.

"Yep," she responds, popping the P.

"What happened?" I ask incredulously.

"Jessica wasn't happy about how Bella has been treating you, blah blah blah. Bella was drunk and feeling all noble and confident, so she lunged at Jessica and then they starting yelling and hitting each other."

"Jesus fucking Christ," I say breathlessly.

"Yeah, they beat each other up pretty good. No doubt they're gonna have bruises," she snickers.

"This is not funny," I say seriously.

"Whatever. Jessica should keep her nose out of other people's business," she retorts.

"I'll have a talk to her," I respond quietly.

"And what about Bella? Are you gonna talk to her or are you going to keep treating her like a piece of shit?" she asks. "I know what she did was fucked and wrong and I was a total bitch to her. But we've sorted out our shit and I'm willing to forgive, but I'm not gonna forget what she did. So maybe you should do the same," she adds frustrated.

"It's not that simple, Rosalie," I scold her.

"Yes it fucking is!" she exclaims. "You either love her or you don't. Stop stringing her along and sending her mixed signals, just to lash out at her and rub her mistakes in her face."

"What-the-fuck-ever, Rosalie. Just stay out if it."

"Whatever yourself, asshole. I'm going over there now with Alice and if I don't see her receive a phone call from you today, you're a dead man," she threatens before turning on her heels and walking out of the room.

Just fucking great.

* * *

I grab my school bag and climb onto my bed, pulling out my school books to attempt doing some homework for a case of procrastination to keep myself from calling Bella. It's a bit ironic considering its Biology homework, seeing as though Bella and I usually do our Biology homework together. God, what if she doesn't even pick up? She probably doesn't even want to speak to me right now. I let out a heavy sigh before reaching over to my bedside table and picking up my phone.

I pull up my contacts and scroll down until I find Bella's name. I click the green call button as I wait for her to answer. Her phone continues to ring and just as I'm about to give in and hang up she answers, her voice extremely quiet.

"_Hey,"_ she answers softly.

"Hey. Have you done your Biology homework?" I ask.

"_Uh, not all of it. Why's that?" _

"I'm attempting it now. I think I'm failing pretty bad," I respond in a groan.

She laughs softly before replying_. "We can work on it together, if you want? It doesn't have to be in for a few more weeks,"_ she offers.

"That'd be cool. Thanks."

"_Is that the only reason you called?"_ she asks curiously.

"Uh… No." I reply hesitantly. "I actually called to apologize for last night. I feel horrible; I didn't mean to act like that towards you –"

"_Edward. It's okay,"_ she cuts me off, laughing lightly.

"No, but that's the thing. It's not okay,"

"_I've already forgiven you, its fine." _She insists.

"Are you sure? Because I understand if you haven't. I was a real fucking prick,"

"_Yeah, you were. But it doesn't matter; I've done worse things to you…"_ she says sadly. I stay silent, not knowing what to say to her because it's the truth. _"Besides, you were drunk." _She adds softly.

"That's no excuse, Bella."I reply seriously.

"_Look, I said some things I shouldn't have said as well. And I did shit I shouldn't have done afterwards too, so let's just forget it okay?"_ She pleads.

"What did you do afterwards? Is this about the fight you go into with Jessica?"I ask concerned.

"_How do you know about that?"_ Her voice is filled with shock.

"Rose told me this morning. I'm gonna have a talk to Jessica and tell her to stay out of our problems. I know she's only looking out for me, but it in all honesty has nothing to do with her –"

"_Edward, you don't have to do that. Jessica and I have I own problems to sort out,"_ she cuts me off again, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Okay… Well, if it isn't about your fight with Jessica, what is it?" I asks tenderly.

"_You'll find out sooner or later,"_ she mumbles.

"Bella, just tell me."

"_I'm pretty sure you'll be really pissed off at me so I'd rather not get into it right now,"_

"Bella –"

"_Seriously, Edward. I don't want to do this over the phone. You'll find out and then you won't want anything to do with me. You wanted time and I understand that, so I'm giving you your time."_

"I didn't mean to upset you so badly. You know I still love you, my head is just really fucked up right now." I tell her sadly.

"_I know. I love you too,"_ She murmurs softly. _"Look, I'm kind of hanging out with Tanya, Alice and Rosalie at the moment, so…"_ she adds, trailing her sentence off.

"Oh, right. Yeah, of course. Sorry. I'll see you at school?" I reply, indicating the sentence as a question.

"_Yeah I'll see you at school,"_ She replies._ "Bye, Edward," _she adds softly.

"Bye, Bella," I reply, letting out a heavy sigh and leaning against my bed headboard after she hangs up.

I give my homework another attempt before eventually giving up. I'm unable to concentrate because I can't stop replaying my conversation with Bella in my mind. That conversation bought back all of the events from last night. I don't remember everything that happened, but from what I do remember, I'm not proud of my actions at all.

* * *

**Okaaaay. So I know this was meant to be posted, what? A week ago? Or was it two weeks ago? Ergh, don't know I'm losing track of time. My point is... I'm sorry it's late! I've just been super busy with my new Nanny job right now and I don't have the internet on my laptop Unless I connect it with my phone, and even then it's really crappy and keeps cutting out!**

**Thank you to everyone who have stuck with the story. I know you all have different opinions and all that - even some that i don't agree with - but just know I appreciate every single one of them. And I really appreciate the reviews. **

**Thank you to everyone who have added this story to their alerts and favourites.**

**THANK YOU TO MY AMAZING BETA: Jenndur, for putting up with the constant changes I always end up making in my chapters! She's amazing and she'll be posting the Epilogue to her story 'Ricochet' soon. You should all go check it out, it's a great story! x**

**natalee-x**


	34. Repentance

**Chapter Thirty Four **_**–**__ (Repentance)_

**BPOV**

* * *

The tears continue to stream down my face as I run towards the front of Jacob's house. I can hear people on my heels, but I don't turn around to see who it is.

"Bella, wait!"

"God, Bella. Slow _down_!" Alice and Tanya shout simultaneously.

Well, I guess that's who was running after me.

I ignore them, picking up my pace and heading inside Jacob's house through the back door. I steer through the kitchen, picking up a bottle of tequila before heading down the hall way and hiding in the bathroom. I lock the door behind me before sliding down to the ground, pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around my legs.

I bring the bottle of Tequila to my lips and guzzle down a few mouthfuls. I wince, screwing up my face as it burns when it makes its way down my throat. I push the nasty taste aside and bring the bottle to my lips again, gulping as much as I can, which just causes me to cough furiously.

I don't know how long I'm in the bathroom for, but I'm starting to feel all warm and fuzzy and my limbs have become extremely flaccid. I take a look at the bottle, its half empty… _Whoops, _I think to myself as a giggle escapes me. I drag myself off the bathroom floor and open the door. I peek my head out slightly, checking to see if anyone is out there. When I see the coast is clear, I stumble down the hallway and out of the front door.

There are a fair few people out the front of the house and I can feel all of their gazes on me. I glance at a group of snotty girls who are clearly younger than me. Their faces are covered in shock, no doubt from taking in my drunken state and withered appearance. I narrow my eyes at them, causing them to look away quickly. _Yeah, that__'__s what I thought. Nosy bitches._

I sit down on the front steps, letting out a heavy sigh before taking another drink from the bottle. I stare out into the street, the numbness overtaking me becoming a welcomed comfort. By the time Alice and Tanya eventually find me, the bottle is nearly empty.

"Oh, Bella," Alice says softly, her voice cracking with sadness. I glance up at her to see she's covering her mouth in shock, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. I glance over at Tanya to see her expression filled with concern.

"What have you done to yourself, Bells?" she says quietly before closing the distance between us and sitting next to me on my left side.

Alice follows suit and sits down on the right side of me. I bring the bottle up to my lips again, but Tanya snatches it out of my hands. I narrow my eyes at her before placing my hands across my knees and resting my chin on my arms.

"Fucking hell, have you drunk the whole bottle to yourself?" Tanya asks incredulously.

"Maybe," I murmur uncomfortably.

I've stayed strong the whole time I started drinking this bottle of tequila. I haven't shed a tear since I was in the bathroom, but as soon as Tanya scoots closer to me, wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me into a hug, all of my composure crumbles down and I can't stop the sobs that begin escaping from my chest.

"How can he think I don't love him?" I ask through my sobs, sniffling very unattractively.

"Shh baby, its okay," Tanya says soothingly.

"Everything I do just seems to be the wrong thing. I know he needs time, but he's just so confusing. One minute he's kissing me and telling me he loves me, the next he's yelling at me and accusing me of not loving him and not caring about him because I left." A hiccup escapes my lips as I pull out of Tanya's embrace and rest my head in my hands. "Why can't he see I'm trying to fix my mistakes?"

Alice scoots closer to me and entwines her hands with mine.

"He'll come around, Bells. He's just hurting. He finally got used to the fact you were no longer in his life. He needs time to get used to the fact you're back," Alice says softly.

"And he's wasted. Like you," Rosalie adds sternly as she makes her way over to us.

"Don't lecture me right now," I grumble.

"Do you know how much you've probably fucked up your liver?" she asks seriously.

"I don't care," I mumble.

"Real mature," she scoffs.

Someone comes running out of the front door and nearly runs into me, Alice and Tanya.

"Shit," they cuss through a giggle.

Ergh. I know that annoying giggle. It's Jessica fucking Stanley's. She must realize it's me sitting on the steps, because she pushes her way past us down the steps and stands in front of us. I sit there, glaring up at her.

"Oh, well isn't this a pretty picture," she says sarcastically

"What the fuck do you want?" Tanya complains.

"Are you drunk?" Jessica asks amused, ignoring Tanya.

"So what if I am?" I respond, annoyance clear in my voice.

"Well, I just ran into Edward. You're being a tad hypocritical don't you think? Considering you were _just _berating him to stop drinking."

"I don't need your shit right now, Jessica," I say angrily.

"News flash, Bella: Edward didn't create this situation, you did. You fucked up and now you have to deal with the consequences."

"What the fuck do you know about our situation?" I ask angrily.

"I know that you destroyed Edward and now you want him to forgive and forget everything you did to him and everything he suffered because of your actions."

"You think I don't know I destroyed him? I don't expect him to forget everything I did. I'm just confused because one minute he's fine towards me but then the next he's snapping at me!"

"Are you so blind you can't even see that his heart has been hit hard by your return? He suffered from your disappearance. He was taunted by your absence!" she shouts.

"I already fucking know this, Jessica! I can't change the past, okay? So just go away and stop harassing me!" I shout back.

"Yeah, I second that notion," Rosalie agrees, glaring at Jessica.

"God, Rosalie will you just shut up?" Jessica snaps. "I can't believe how cruel you of all people are acting towards Edward. You're so ready to embrace Bella and belittle Edward for not being ready to resume his relationship with her."

"I suggest you shut your mouth before I shut it for you," Rosalie replies icily.

"We're just trying to help him," Alice says softly.

"Well, you're not helping him. You're making things worse by shoving everything down his throat."

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"Everyone keeps berating him to just listen to what you have to say. You all need to just back off and give him a fucking break," she says exasperatedly.

"Well, it's not like I can help that. I'm not telling them to tell him to listen to me."

"Maybe you should tell them to leave him alone then. This whole mess is between you two anyway, not anyone else."

"Then why can't you just stay out of it? It has nothing to do with you either," I tell her.

"I'm trying to help you! If he says he needs time, give him some time before you push him away for good," she shouts.

"I don't want your help," I mumble incoherently.

"You are such a stubborn bitch! You seriously need some sense knocked into you!" she shouts.

"Well, go on then! Knock some sense into me!" I taunt, stumbling as I stand up and confront her.

"Would you look at yourself? You're pathetic," she responds, her voice filled with disgust.

"If I'm so pathetic, why were you my best friend for thirteen years?" I accuse.

"I honestly don't know," she replies, her voice filled with sadness. "And I don't know why Edward still loves you," she adds icily.

Her statement hits me like a ton of bricks. I can't stop the hurt and anger that rises inside me, and I swing my fist forward and punch her square in the cheek. She stumbles back a few steps, holding her palm to her face in shock. She lunges forward and tackles me to the ground.

"Guys, stop it!" Alice exclaims in a panic.

Jessica straddles my torso, pinning me down to the ground and she throws her fists at my face. I cover my face with my arms, copping the blows there instead. She ends up clocking a few blows to my face though, which are definitely going to leave a few scratches and bruises. Fuck, who would've thought Jessica would be a fighter.

"Get off me!" I shout at her. Thunder cracks above us in the sky before the rain begins to fall down heavily. Great. Just perfect. We continue to roll around on the ground, our hair and clothes becoming drenched and the dirt forming into mud because of the rain.

"You started it, now I'm gonna finish it," she responds icily.

"Maybe if you kept your snotty nose out of everyone else's business this wouldn't be happening! He loves _me_, Jessica. _Not_ you," I shout again before flailing my hands around.

"Did you seriously just say that?" she asks incredulously.

"I see the way you look at him," I murmur, my hands find their way into her hair. I pull as hard as I can, causing a scream to erupt from her. She punches me in the stomach which causes me to release her hair.

She pushes her hands on my shoulders to hold me down. "Edward and I are _just _friends. You need to get that into that thick skull of yours," she says seriously before rolling off me and standing up again. I stay seated on the ground and glance up at her, despair completely covering my expression.

"Then why does he care about you more than me?" I ask so softly, I'm not quite sure she heard. The rain cascades down on top of me. I wrap my arms around myself as the tears begin to flow down my face again.

"Believe it or not, he doesn't. Just give him time, Bella. Just be friends with him before you push him to be your boyfriend again," Jessica says softly. I don't meet her gaze. Instead, I lay down on the ground, wishing the earth would just swallow me whole. I pull my legs up, wrapping my arms around them and hugging them to my chest.

"Bella?" Alice addresses me hesitantly.

"Is she okay?" Rosalie asks concerned.

"Bells?" Tanya says softly, kneeling in front of me and wiping the hair out of my face. "Come on, baby. Let's go home," she adds in a whisper.

I glance up at her but remain lying on the ground. She slides her arms under my torso and pulls me into her lap, cradling me and rocking back and forth for a few minutes before helping me to her feet. Alice and Rose close the distance between us once I'm standing again. Alice engulfs me in a tight hug for a long time until Rose pulls her off me and takes her place.

"I'll fuck Jessica up for you if you want me to," she whispers in my ear, her voice serious. I pull away and shake my head, not trusting my voice to speak.

"Alright, I'm gonna get her home," Tanya tells them before wrapping her arms around my shoulders and leading us to her car.

I don't know how I put one foot in front of the other because it feels like my whole body has gone numb. She opens the passenger door for me and I climb inside. I pull my legs up to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I stare out of the window, seeing nothing as we make our way back to the cottage. I must have fallen asleep because when we get back to the cottage, Tanya shakes me awake before pulling me into her arms. I wrap my arms around her, nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck as she walks down to my room and places me on my bed. I lay down in the fetal position when she walks away. She comes back a few minutes later with a rag and antiseptic liquid in a bowl, as well as an ice pack and places them on my bedside table before sitting down on the side of my bed. She holds me by the arms and pulls me into a sitting position.

"Put this on your face," she says softly before beginning to clean the cuts on my hands.

When she finishes cleaning up my wounds, she takes the bowl and ice pack back outside before coming back into my room. I can't believe everything that happened tonight. I feel so stupid. Jessica was right – I was being completely hypocritical again. Harassing Edward to stop drinking and then I go and drink a whole bottle of Tequila to myself. And attacking Jessica like that? What the hell was I thinking?

"We should get some sleep," Tanya says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I glance up at her to see her standing in my doorway. I can't believe I put Tanya through all of that. She's never seen me like that before and now I'm probably going to scare her away as well. Fucking hell, what is wrong with me? The tears begin to pool up in my eyes again which causes Tanya to rush over and crawl onto my bed, pulling me into her arms just as the sobs begin again.

"Please don't leave," I beg. Tanya scoots us further down the bed and pulls the covers up over us as she shushes me.

"I'm not going anywhere," she soothes, tucking a stand of hair behind my ear. I roll over so we're facing each other and move in closer to her. She continues to stroke my hair and rub my back soothingly.

My tears fall down my face silently before I eventually fall into unconsciousness.

* * *

The next morning, I wake up to my head thumping loudly and my whole body aching as though I've been run over by a mac truck. I let out a groan of pain just as Tanya walks into my room with a cup of tea, buttered toast and a couple of Advil on a tray.

"Hey. How's your head?" Tanya asks sincerely, placing the tray on my bedside table, which mind you, sounds like a gun shot. I wince and cover my head with a pillow.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be that bad," Tanya murmurs.

"I hate life," I mumble, my voice muffled by the pillow.

"That's what you get when you drink a whole bottle of Tequila to yourself," Tanya responds seriously. "What the hell were you thinking, Bella?" she adds, the tone of her voice a tad softer.

"I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously," Tanya responds, letting out a sigh. "You could have seriously harmed yourself," she adds sadly. I remove the pillow and glance up at her, shame clear in my eyes.

"I know," I reply quietly.

"Do you remember everything?"

"Unfortunately," I mutter.

"He'll get over it, Bella. And so will Jessica."

"You don't know that."

"Well, positive thinking is always better."

"Right," I scoff.

"It is!" she insists, her voice raising a bit.

"Erghhh, don't be so loud," I groan, throwing the pillow at her before covering my ears with my hands.

"Oh. Sorry," she says, laughing softly.

* * *

Tanya and I have a relaxing day – thank god – watching movies all day and pigging out on junk food while I recover from my disastrous decisions from last night to act like an alcoholic. I eventually end up getting sick of lounging around all day though, so I attempt to clean up the kitchen a bit, wincing in pain and recoiling away covering my ears when I would accidentally make too much noise with the cutlery or plates.

Tanya walks in on me and stops in her tracks, shock covering her face.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asks.

"Uh. Cleaning?" I respond, stating the word as a question.

"Why on earth are you even trying to do that kind of shit when the slightest sound sounds like a gun shot going off?" she scolds. "_And_ it probably sounds like someone is smashing your brain with a hammer," she adds seriously.

I can't stop myself from laughing like a hyena. I stop short and groan in pain because of my own laughter. Tanya shakes her head in amusement at me before shooing me out of the kitchen completely.

* * *

Tanya and I are half way through watching The Notebook when my phone begins ringing extremely loudly. Tanya jumps up and runs around the house trying to find it, the song becoming louder and louder each second. I get up and scavenge around the lounge room and end up finding it in between the couch cushions.

"Hello?" I answer breathlessly.

"_Hey, Bella! It__'__s Alice," _she exclaims cheerfully, causing me to pull the phone away from my ear.

"Argh, don't talk so loud."

"_Oh. Sorry,"_ she replies, laughing lightly and lowering her voice_. "How are you doing?"_

"I'm okay. I feel like an idiot and I'm completely embarrassed."

"_I was so worried about you,"_ she says sadly.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"_You should be. You scared the living shit out of us," _Rose scolds me. Okay, so I'm clearly on loud speaker.

"_Rose!_" Alice scolds her, causing me to pull the phone away from my ear again. _"__Its okay, Bella. Anyway, Rose and I were just wondering if we could come over."_

"Oh. I don't know…"

"_Come on, Bella. Why not?"_ Rose says.

"The house is kind of a mess," I murmur.

"_We can come over and help clean it up, considering you__'__re in no state to," _Alice insists.

"_I__'__m not doing any cleaning, but I promise to be extra quiet,"_ Rose teases.

"Shut up Rose," I say through a laugh. "But yeah, okay. Thanks guys."

"_Yay!"_ Alice exclaims.

"Argh! Seriously, Alice?" I complain.

"_Jesus, Alice. You__'__re gonna end up giving her a migraine and then we__'__ll be stuck here bored forever!"_ Rose scolds her.

"Oh, so _that__'__s _why you want to come over," I joke.

"_Hush, you,__"_ Rose says through a chuckle.

"_Anyway, we should let you go and we__'__ll head over,"_ Alice adds.

"Okay."

"_Bye, Bella,"_ They reply simultaneously, causing me to laugh lightly before hanging up.

* * *

I clean up the lounge room a bit before having a quick shower. I change into a pair of black leggings, a black singlet and a white sweat singlet over the top that has a panda holding a red guitar on it. When I head back down the hallway, I can hear hushed voices coming from the living room. Alice and Rosalie must have arrived. I hear my name come up in the conversation so I tip toe the rest of the way down the hallway.

"We couldn't find her for an hour," Alice says.

"Do you think she was trying to, you know, harm herself?" Rose asks.

"No way, she'd never do anything like that," Tanya replies seriously.

"Are you sure?" Rose asks.

"Rosalie!" Alice scolds under her breath.

Oh, great. So now they think I was trying to kill myself by alcohol poisoning or something.

"I've never seen her act like that before," Tanya says, her voice sad.

"Neither have I," Alice replies.

"What if she does something like that again?" Rose asks.

"I don't think she will. She regrets it deeply already," Tanya reassures.

I make my way into the room and clear my throat to let them know of my presence. All of their heads snap in my direction, smiling at me softly. Alice looks as though she's about to jump up and squeal a greeting at me but thinks better of it when I cringe away from her and cover my ears just in case. She smiles at me apologetically before speaking.

"Hey, Bella," she says softy.

"Hey, Ali," I reply as I make my way over to them and sit down on the couch.

"How are you feeling?" Alice asks.

"God, Alice. Stop babying her," Rose complains.

"I'm not babying her!" Alice exclaims. My headache has settled some but her high pitch voice still sounds like nails on a chalkboard right now. I can't stop myself from letting out a whimper of pain.

"Shut up, Alice. You're giving her a migraine," Rosalie scolds.

Alice looks over at me and takes in my expression and covers her mouth. "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry, Bella." She looks back to Rosalie and glares at her. "See what you made me do?" she hisses under her breath.

"I didn't make you do shit," Rosalie scoffs.

They continue to bicker back fourth for a few minutes before Tanya pipes up and tells them both to shut up because they're starting to give her a migraine, in which causes them to finally quiet down. We sit in an awkward silence, the huge elephant from last night hanging in the room.

"I wasn't trying to harm myself last night either, just so you know," I tell them.

"What? Why would you think we thought that?" Alice sputters.

"I heard you guys talking."

"Oh."

"She isn't stupid, Alice," says Rosalie.

"I never said she was!" Alice argues.

"Please don't start arguing again," I reply, letting out a heavy sigh.

"We've just never seen you like that before, hon," Tanya says soothingly.

"That's because I've never been like that before. I've never drank that much in my life," I tell them honestly. "I don't even know why I did it," I murmur.

"Because you were hurt," Tanya explains.

"Edward was hurt and that's why he was drinking. I was telling him to stop it, which caused us to get into a fight. And then I went off and did the same thing."

"You both said things you probably shouldn't have," Alice says quietly.

"True things though," Rose adds.

"Seriously, Rosalie?" Alice says annoyed.

"No, she's right," I tell Alice.

"Yeah, Alice. I'm right," Rose quips.

"Look, try not to worry about it. Just give Edward the time and space that he needs, okay?" Tanya says encouragingly.

"You sound like Jessica," Rosalie mumbles.

"Well, she's right, I guess," Alice says hesitantly.

"It'll all work out on its own," Tanya says.

"I hope so," I mumble.

"It will. Just let him come to you. You know he loves you," Tanya says comfortingly.

"I'm not so sure that's true anymore after last night," I mutter.

"He still loves you," Alice assures me.

"But I agree with Tanya," Rosalie says. "Let him come to you this time," she adds, looking at me pointedly.

* * *

Tanya, Alice, Rosalie and I spend a few hours cleaning the house. They tried to make me stay sitting on the couch doing nothing, but I wouldn't have any of that shit. Although, while I'm helping Rose clean the kitchen my thoughts are filled with Edward. I feel so bad about everything. I can't believe the way I acted last night. I was only trying to help him because I hated seeing him that way. I know I shouldn't have gone off and drowned my sorrows with liquor because that didn't help anything at all. It may have numbed my body, but it just intensified my feelings times ten.

I couldn't stop replaying all the hurtful things he said to me. How could he think I don't love him? I guess I don't blame him. That's the exact same way I feel about my mom. Every time I think of her, I always wind back to thinking that she mustn't love me at all if she could just pick up and leave with no explanation at all. I guess that's why I understand Edward's anger and resentment towards me right now. Because I did the exact same thing to him that my mother did to me.

I get so scared every time I try to tell him why I left. I know that I want to tell him more than anything else in the world and he deserves to know. But I can't help but think that when I eventually tell him my reasons for leaving, he won't want anything to do with me because of how hypocritical and self-centered I've behaved.

I know everything isn't okay. I know that what I did was wrong, so I wish everyone would stop acting as though I don't know that. I'm only human, I'm going to make mistakes in my life that I'll live to regret. I acted out of fear and insecurity. It's selfish, I know. But I did what I _thought_ I had to do to protect myself. I'm not a fucking idiot. I know that Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett haven't forgiven me and don't trust me one hundred percent yet. Both Rosalie and Alice have told me that to my face and I know Jasper and Emmett feel the exact same way, even if they haven't told me that personally.

"Bella? Are you with us?" Alice asks through a laugh, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Huh? Sorry, what?" I ask confused.

"I was just saying we should throw an official welcome home party for you," Rose says.

"Oh. Uhhh, I don't know…" I reply hesitantly.

"Oh, come on Bella. It'll be fun!" Alice says excitedly.

"We'll organize everything. All you have to do is turn up," Rose insists.

"Just do it, Bells. They won't stop pestering you until you say yes," Tanya says. "And besides, it may turn out to be fun," she adds through a laugh.

"But I don't have any friends, apart from you guys."

"I'm sure that's not true," Alice assures me.

"No. It is. I didn't have any friends until you came along. Apart from Jessica, and she clearly isn't my friend anymore."

"Well, maybe she'll appreciate the invitation and want to sort things out with you," Alice says hopefully.

"Yeah. Maybe this will help you two rekindle your friendship," Tanya adds thoughtfully.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to rekindle anything to do with me."

"You'll never know until you try," Alice says.

My phone begins to ring, cutting off anyone else who wanted to add something to the matter. I pick up my phone to see its Edward's name flashing on the screen. I can't stop the shock that forms on my face. I compose myself quickly before glancing at the girls.

"Uh, I'll be right back," I tell them as I stand and walk out of the living room, down the hall and into my bedroom.

"Hey," I answer softly.

"_Hey. Have you done your Biology homework?" _he asks hopefully. I can't help the disappoint that floods through me from his question.

"Uh, not all of it. Why's that?"

"_I__'__m attempting it now. I think I__'__m failing pretty badly,"_ he replies in a groan.

I laugh softly before replying, "We can work on it together if you want? It doesn't have to be in for a few more weeks," I add.

"_That__'__d be cool. Thanks."_

"Is that the only reason you called?"I ask curiously, sadness beginning to seep into my voice.

"_Uh… No,__" _he replies hesitantly._ "I actually called to apologize for last night. I feel horrible; I didn__'__t mean to act like that towards you __–"_

"Edward. It's okay," I cut him off, laughing lightly.

"_No, but that__'__s the thing. It__'__s not okay."_

"I've already forgiven you, its fine."

"_Are you sure? Because I understand if you haven__'__t. I was a real fucking prick."_

"Yeah, you were. But it doesn't matter; I've done worse things to you…" the other end of the phone goes silent. I'd have thought he hung up on me if I couldn't still hear his breathing. "Besides, you were drunk," I add softly.

"_That__'__s no excuse, Bella," _ he replies seriously.

"Look, I said some things I shouldn't have said as well. And I did shit I shouldn't have done afterwards too, so let's just forget it, okay?" I plead with him.

"_What did you do afterwards? Is this about the fight you go into with Jessica?" _he asks concerned.

"How do you know about that?" I ask shocked.

"_Rose told me this morning. I__'__m gonna have a talk to Jessica and tell her to stay out of our problems. I know she__'__s only looking out for me, but it in all honesty has nothing to do with her __–_"

"Edward, you don't have to do that. Jessica and I have I own problems to sort out," I cut him off again, letting out a heavy sigh.

"_Okay… Well, if it isn__'__t about your fight with Jessica, what is it?"_ he asks tenderly.

"You'll find out sooner or later," I mumble.

"_Bella, just tell me."_

"I'm pretty sure you'll be really pissed off at me so I'd rather not get into it right now."

"_Bella, I really want us to try being friends so I need you to be honest __–"_

"Seriously, Edward. I don't want to do this over the phone. You'll find out and then you won't want anything to do with me. You wanted time and I understand that, so I'm giving you your time."

"_I didn__'__t mean to upset you so badly. You know I still love you," _he says sadly.

"I know. I love you too," I murmur softly. "Look, I'm kind of hanging out with Tanya, Alice and Rosalie at the moment, so…" I add, trailing my sentence off.

"_Oh, right. Yeah, of course. Sorry," _he sputters._ "I__'__ll see you at school?__"_he adds, indicating the sentence as a question.

"Yeah, I'll see you at school…Bye, Edward."

"_Bye, Bella."_

I put my phone in my pocket before walking back into the room and sitting back down on the couch. I can feel all their eyes on me but I avoid their gazes.

"Who was that?" Rose asks curiously.

"It was Alec," I lie.

"Oh," she replies, a little disappointed and anger crosses her features for a split second.

Hm. That's odd.

"Why didn't he ask to talk to me?" Tanya asks confused.

"He just needed to uh, talk to me about something. He couldn't talk long," I reassure her.

"Right," she mumbles.

"Felix says hi and he misses you," I lie again.

"God, I miss him so much. You should have given me the phone so I could talk to him," she says sadly.

"Sorry," I murmur, feeling like the most horrible friend in the universe. I make a mental note to tell her the truth after Alice and Rosalie leave.

"So you haven't heard from Edward?" Rosalie asks suddenly.

"Nope. Why?" I ask, feigning confusion.

"_Fucking shithead,"_ she mutters under her breath, clearly not intending for me to hear.

I can't figure out where her sudden anger has erupted from. Is it directed at me? Or is it directed at the fact that she thinks I haven't heard from Edward? Ergh! I hate her mood swings! She was absolutely fine until I got that call from Edward. Can she tell that I'm lying about who was on the other end of the line? Or did she see Edward's name pop up on my phone's screen and so instead of thinking I'm lying, she actually _knows _I'm lying and isn't happy about it.

"Anyway," Tanya says, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Since you guys don't have school tomorrow, we should go into Port Angeles to find outfits for the party."

"Oh my god, yes! That's a great idea!" Alice exclaims.

"Ergh, please no. I hate shopping," I groan.

"We'll make it fun," Alice insists.

"But it's not like the party is next weekend. It won't be for a few weeks," I reply annoyed.

"Don't worry, Bella. If the shopping trip becomes too frustrating, we can wander away from them," Rose reassures before winking at me.

"Thank god. Because I don't want to have to maim or seriously injure anyone," I reply, feigning seriousness.

* * *

Alice, Rosalie, Tanya and I all leave for Port Angeles around eleven AM. We wanted to get up there in the afternoon so we didn't stay there for hours on end and then end up getting home late. Alice and Tanya dragged Rose and I into every single damn store to hunt down the perfect outfit. Each store was overrated, overly priced and I was just over the whole damn charade.

Alice and Tanya ended up finding the perfect dresses for themselves, but Rosalie and I couldn't find anything we were comfortable or happy with. I think Alice and Tanya gave up on trying to help us find an outfit because they kept leading us into every shoe, jewelry and handbag store they spotted. Rosalie and I would find the closest seat that was in each store and just plonk our asses down, waiting for Alice and Tanya to lurk through every single item until they found what they were looking for.

My feet are beginning to ache and I'm feeling really run down. I let out a heavy sigh before leaning forward, placing my elbow on my thigh and resting my chin in my palm.

"Do you wanna get out of here? Check out some less extravagant stores," Rose asks.

"God, yes," I reply eagerly.

"Okay, wait here. I'll go tell Ali and Tan," she responds before standing and walking away. I stand up and raise my arms above my head to stretch out my muscles. Rosalie comes back in less than a minute, a small smile on her lips. I think she's almost as eager to get out of here as I am.

We walk out of the store and head down to the west side of the mall. I automatically know where we're heading. The non-expensive hippy sort of stores. Now, call me old fashioned, but this is my kind of shopping. Rosalie and I take our time as we have a look around. When we were with Alice and Tanya, they would run around each store as though they were on America's Next Top Model and had some sort of time limit to find the perfect outfit. It feels good to just go at my own neutral pace for once.

As I'm looking around the store, I come across a section filled with a bunch of random things such as CDs, DVDs, paintings and a series of ornaments. I browse through the CDs and I find a copy of Linkin Parks first released album 'Minutes to Midnight'. All of the memories with Edward flash through my mind – Edward telling me they're one of his favourite bands, me buying the CD for him when we were in Port Angeles on our first date, Edward telling me which his favourite song from the album is, Edward telling me Linkin Park was the first band he ever saw perform live and how it was the best experience of his life, Edward putting the CD in his stereo after I bought him it and pulling me into his arms, smiling crookedly as he tried to get me to dance with him.

I can't stop the smile that forms on my lips as I remember all of those times. Edward said he wanted space and maybe I can give him that, but still make it up to him by showing him I still care about things that are important to him. When I glance back down at the album, my eyes nearly pop out of my head – It's signed by the lead singer, Chester Bennington. I stare at it in complete bewilderment. I pick up the album and hold it in my hands gingerly, opening the case to check out the CD. It's in perfection condition._ Why on earth would anyone give this up? _I think to myself.

Now I definitely have to get this for Edward.

"Hey, Bella! What about this?" Rose calls out to me, snapping me out of my Linkin Park and Edward induced trance.

I glance in her direction to see that she's holding out a one shoulder lace dress that's white, grey and black up the top and red on the bottom. It's got that crepe skirt kind of style to it. A grin forms on my face as I make my way over to her.

"It's absolutely perfect," I tell her cheerfully. "And they'll go great with an almost brand new pair of Christian Louboutin, Suede Declic Pumps I just found," I add, a grin on my face as I wave the shoes in front of her face. Rosalie's expression forms into one of shock as she registers what I just said and notices the shoes.

"No. Way. You found Louboutin's pumps back there?" she asks incredulously.

"Yep," I respond, popping the P.

"God, I am so jealous of you right now," she replies through a laugh. Rosalie and I may prefer the low key less expensive stores, but that doesn't mean we know nothing about fashion and we don't like to spoil ourselves occasionally.

"We should probably head back," I tell her.

"Yeah. I can't be bothered to keep searching for something. I probably have something at home that I've never worn before," she agrees.

Rosalie and I head to the front counter and pay for the dress and shoes. She looks at me quizzically when I place the Linkin Park CD onto the counter as well. I explain to her why I'm getting it, which causes her to smirk cockily at me in the exact same way Edward does.

Okay, I know Rose and Edward aren't related by blood, but the way their expressions are identical sometimes, freaks me out.

We meet up with Tanya and Alice straight after paying for our items and decide to call into the Forks Diner to have dinner on the way home. When we arrive Alice, Rose and I head over to the booth while Tanya heads out the back to say hello to everyone. She brings back our menus, handing one to each of us as she slides into the booth beside me. We all order and eat our dinner in a comfortable silence and talking casually.

"Did you hear about the talent show the school's holding?" Alice asks excitedly.

"Um. No, I haven't," I reply honestly.

"Bella, you should sing a song you've written. Show off your talent, prove to all those dropkicks that you're not a nobody," Tanya says eagerly. Alice's eyes light up with excitement.

Great. Thanks, Tanya. I kick her under the table before glaring at her and answering.

"No way," I say, shaking my head.

"Oh come on, Bella! I've always wanted to hear you sing," Alice pleads.

"I'm not comfortable with doing that," I reply.

"Oh, come off it, woman. You sang at the diner every Friday night. There's no way you have stage fright," Tanya says.

"That was in front of a bunch of people I didn't know. I know these people – I go to school with these people… I don't think so," I refuse.

"Bellaaaa," Alice complains. "Please, please, please, please, pleaseeee," she begs.

"I'd just do it, Bells. She'll never shut up if you don't agree," Rose says seriously.

"Fine," I mumble, letting out a heavy sigh. I glare at every single one of them before finishing my meal.

Alice dropped Tanya and I off at our cottage on the way home. We say goodnight to both of them and I thank Rosalie for helping me escape and saving me from murdering either Alice or Tanya for ridiculous excuse of shopping. That shit was not fun at all. It was torturous.

I head straight for the shower, needing the hot water to loosen the tension in my body. I dry myself quickly and throw on my pajamas before going into Tanya's room to say goodnight to her. When I enter her room, I stop dead in my tracks, a small smile forming on my lips. The day must have exhausted Tanya as well because she's crawled up in bed fast asleep. I tip toe across the room and pull the blanket up over her body. I kiss her softly on the forehead before heading out of the room.

When I walk into my room, I collapse straight onto my bed, fatigue overtaking every fiber of my body. Sleep welcomes me as soon as my head hits the pillow.

* * *

**So in this chapter you see Jessica and Bella's pent up frustration towards each other finally explode; In which they end up in a fight. Although, you already knew that from the recent chapter; but you didn't get to witness it. So, there you go. This chapter also shows Bella's feelings of regret; an apology from Edward; and some girl time with Tanya, Alice and Rosalie (:**

**I would like to give a HUMONGOUS thank you to my most amazing Beta; **_Jenndur_.** She seriously puts up with so many things that i throw at her and i'm sure the constant changes i make to my chapters drive her crazy sometimes lol.**

**Thank you to everyone who are continuing to review this story and not holding back on telling me your honest feelings and thoughts of and what you're liking or disliking about ****the chapters/story. Please don't be afraid to hold back on me. I'm not the type of person who's gonna get all pissy about a review in which someone is expressing their feelings... That's the whole point of reviewing, right? To let the author know how they felt about the chapter. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and feelings and It helps me make my story better anyway (:**

******Thanks to my new/present readers who have added my story to their alerts and favourites. It means a lot to me. **

******Also, just to let you all know. After this chapter, there's only 10 chapters left to go including the Epilogue! ******** :)**

**************natalee-x**


	35. Fairs and Forgiveness

_**Chapter Thirty Five – **__(Fairs and Forgiveness)_

_**EPOV**_

* * *

I'm jolted awake by a horrendous banging on my door. I hear someone storm into my room and pull the blinds open before also pulling the sheets off of me. I let out a groan of annoyance before squinting one eye open to find out who the culprit is.

Fucking Emmett, the idiot. I should have known.

"I know I haven't spoken to you since the party. But I just want you to know, I'm not holding that night against you anymore because you were fucked up on alcohol and needed to let off some steam," he says. "But if you're not out of this bed and ready to go to the beach with me and Jazz by the time I come back up here, I will beat the shit out of you," he adds seriously.

"We have school, asshole. We can't go to the beach," I reply, my voice muffled by the sheets.

"It's called skipping school, you loser."

"It's called I just got back from suspension, _loser_," I mock. "Carlisle will kill me." I add.

"He's already rang the school. He said we're staying home because of family issues."

"What? He seriously did that?" I ask shocked, sitting up abruptly.

"Yep. Now get moving, shithead," he quips before striding out of my room.

* * *

I head downstairs, running my hand over my face as a yawn escapes me. Emmett is scoffing down his cereal when I enter the kitchen.

"Since we're skipping school and all, would it be okay if I took this opportunity to spend some time with Vicki and Riley too?" I ask as politely as I can.

"I don't see why not. Bring them to the beach with us."

"Bring who to the beach?" Rosalie asks as she walks into the kitchen. "You're going to the beach? Where's my invite?" she adds, pouting at Emmett.

"Not that it's any of your business, but I'm bringing Vicki and Riley," I reply.

"Oh, cool. I've been wanting to meet those kids," she responds sincerely. I ponder about what she said for a few minutes before a memory of Vicki asking when she's going to meet my brothers and sisters strikes me.

"Why don't you come to the beach with us then, baby?" Emmett asks sweetly.

"Jeez, thanks babe," she replies, rolling her eyes.

"You're the one who wants to meet them," I add pointedly. She quirks her brow at me, causing me to roll my eyes.

"What about everyone else?" she asks.

"Everyone else is already coming," I tell her.

"Well, Alice doesn't know," she responds. "Or Bella," she adds softly.

"He was just about to get onto that, babe," Emmett reassures her.

"Really? You're okay with that?" she asks astonished.

"Okay with what?" Alice asks as she walks into the kitchen, Jasper following behind her.

"Inviting Bella to the beach with us, along with Vicki and Riley," Rose replies.

"We're going to the beach?" Alice asks confused.

"Now we are," Rose clarifies.

"Vicki and Riley? Are they those kids from the hospital?" Jasper asks.

"Yeah," I respond.

"Really?" Alice squeals. "I'd love to meet them!" she adds enthusiastically, leaning against the counter next to Rosalie.

"Won't it be a bit, you know, overwhelming for them to meet all of us at once?" Jasper asks concerned.

"Nah, they'll be fine. They want to meet you guys," I assure him.

"Are you sure, bro?" Emmett asks uncertainly.

"You just said they could come..."

"I know dude, but–"

"But what?" I ask cutting him off. "They'll be fine," I add.

"Yay!" Alice exclaims.

"Are you gonna call Bella?" Rose asks.

"Oh, is she coming too?" Alice asks taken aback.

"Yeah."

"Have you spoken to her since the party? Do you want me to call her?" Alice asks.

"Yeah, I called her on Sunday–"

"That was you?" Rosalie asks confused.

"Yeah…"

"She said it was Alec," Alice says softly.

"Maybe she didn't want to make a fuss about it," Emmett says.

"Probably," I agree.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call her for you?" Alice asks again.

"I'm quite capable of doing it myself, Ali," I respond, laughing lightly. "But thanks," I add, smiling appreciatively at her.

She returns my smile before walking out of the kitchen and heading upstairs.

* * *

After I finish my breakfast I call Bella to invite her to the beach. She accepts gladly and says she needs a break from all her homework. I ask Bella if Tanya would like to come too, but she says Tanya has already left for work. After Bella and I finish our conversation I head back upstairs to change into my board shorts and pack a bag with spare clothes and a towel. Once I have everything organized, I go back downstairs and wait for everyone to finish getting ready. When everyone is ready to go, I head over to Bella's to pick her up with Alice in the passenger seat. Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper are following in Rosalie's red convertible, as there wouldn't have been enough room for all of us.

When we arrive at the cottage to pick Bella up, Alice jumps out of the car and hops into the back so Bella can sit in the passenger seat. I briefly explain Riley and Vicki's situations to Bella and Alice as we make our way over to the hospital. Alice becomes teary-eyed, which causes Bella to turn around in her seat and take Alice's hand in hers, smiling at her sympathetically.

I pull into the hospital parking lot and get out of the car. Rosalie parks beside me just as Alice and Bella also get out of the car.

"Um. I'm just gonna follow with Rosalie from here," Alice says slyly.

"What? Why?" Bella asks confused. Alice glances over at me before looking back to Bella.

"I just think there should only be one person in the car ride with them. I don't want it to be all squishy for them," she replies innocently.

"Well, I can just go with the others, if you want?" Bella says awkwardly.

"No, it's honestly fine," Alice insists.

"Right…" Bella replies, the tone of her voice filled with suspicion.

I look at Alice pointedly, quirking my brow at her. She responds by grinning mischievously at me before climbing into Rosalie's car.

"Okay then. Well, do you want to come get them with me?" I ask Bella.

"Sure," she replies kindly, smiling sheepishly at me.

I begin to walk towards the hospital, Bella running up to fall into step with me. Carlisle is at the nurse reception desk when we walk through the front electric doors. He looks up as we enter and smiles kindly at us.

"Oh, hi Bella," he greets kindly. "I wasn't expecting you. It's nice to see you," he adds.

"Hey Carlisle, it's nice to see you too," she replies, smiling sweetly at him.

"I thought you were going to the beach today?" he asks.

"We are. I just wanted to bring Vicki and Riley along," I respond.

"Oh, that's nice of you. But won't that be a little be overwhelming?" he asks concerned.

"You sound like Jasper," I groan. "They want to meet them." I add.

"Well isn't it up to the children to decide?"

"That's who I meant, Dad," I reply, laughing lightly.

"Oh," he says. "Okay then, fair enough," he adds, smiling apologetically at me.

"I'll talk to you later," I tell him before turning to Bella. "Come on, Bells," I say, smiling at her before turning to walk away.

Bella stays quiet as we make our way to the room I asked Riley and Vicki to meet me in. I glance over at her to see she's biting her bottom lip. She must feel my gaze on her because she looks over at me and smiles sheepishly, blushing slightly.

"You okay?" I ask.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to come along?" she asks apprehensively.

"Of course I'm sure,"

"Won't they feel weird about some random girl coming to meet them?"

"You're not some random girl, they know about you."

"They do?" she asks shocked.

"Yeah."

"You talk to them about me?" she asks. "About us?" she adds softly.

"Yeah. They know we were together and they know we're just friends now," I tell her.

"Friends. Yeah," she murmurs quietly. I look at her quizzically before shaking my head, the corners of my mouth lifting up into a smile.

"Vicki is beyond perceptive though," I tell her, laughing softly.

"What have you told them?" she asks curiously.

"I don't go into detail about everything that's happened, if that's what you're worried about," I assure.

"No, that's not what I meant…" she responds, trailing off.

"It's okay, Bella. Relax," I tell her, placing my hand on her shoulder, running it down and entwining my hand with hers, squeezing it lightly before letting go. She takes a deep breath, smiling before nodding her head.

* * *

"Eddie!" Vicki and Riley exclaim simultaneously as I enter the room.

"Hey guys," I greet them kindly.

Vicki jumps up out of seat to run up and hug me. Riley does the same not long after. Bella steps further into the room a little slow and hesitant before finally standing directly beside me.

"Vicki, Riley. This is my friend Bella," I introduce them.

Vicki's eyes go wide, her head snapping in Bella's direction. Bella smiles kindly at her and Vicki returns the gesture.

"Hello. It's nice to meet both of you," Bella says sweetly.

"Is you Ed's girlfan?" Riley asks bluntly.

"They're not together anymore, Riley. You know that," Vicki scolds him under her breath.

"Uh, no. We're just friends," Bella replies awkwardly, smiling sadly.

"Sowwy," Riley murmurs.

"It's okay, honey," Bella reassures him.

"So, you're Bella," Vicki muses.

"Yep."

"You were Edward's girlfriend and then moved away, right?" she asks mischievously, already knowing the answer.

"That's right," Bella responds softly. "Unfortunately," she adds under her breath.

"Do you love him?" Vicki probes.

"Yeah, I do," Bella replies confidently.

"Do you love her, Eddie?" Vicki asks.

"Vicki," I scold her sternly.

"What?" she asks in mock innocence. "Just answer the question," she adds seriously.

"Yes," I reply, glancing over at Bella. The corners of her mouth are turning up slightly as she bites her bottom lip to stop herself from smiling.

"Tan why aren't you todeva?" Riley asks confused.

"It's complicated," I mumble.

"I don't see how," Vicki responds bluntly. Bella squats down in front of Vicki and smiles thoughtfully at her.

"We've both made mistakes and hurt each other, sweetie," she says softly. "Our scars need to heal before anything can happen between us again," she adds soothingly.

"When will that be?" Vicki asks sadly.

"I don't know," Bella replies, her voice just as sad. "I've done some things I'm not proud of, honey. I hurt Edward a lot and I need to earn his trust back," she adds softly.

"What did you do?" Vicki murmurs.

"Uh," Bella looks up at me, pain, fear and regret clear in her eyes.

"That's not a very happy story and I want this to be a happy day, so let's not talk about it," I say attentively. Bella smiles gratefully at me before standing up again.

"What are you even doing here?" Vicki asks curiously. "I thought you had school and the fair isn't until tonight," she adds confused.

"We're having a sick day and taking you guys to the beach," I tell her.

"Really?" Vicki and Riley ask simultaneously, their voices filled with excitement.

"Yep. And we've got more people for you to meet," I tell them. Both her and Riley's faces light up at the statement.

Bella looks at me and smiles sadly, a strand of hair falling in front of her face. I reach out and tuck it behind her ear, letting my hand linger there for a few seconds.

"Where did that little speech come from?" I ask curiously.

"When I had that fight with Jessica; she said some things that showed me your perspective of things,"

"Did she now?" I quip. "You know I'm sorry about what happened at the party, right?" I ask quietly, cupping her cheek in my palm. She leans into my touch, closing her eyes for a few seconds before opening them and gazing into my eyes.

"I know," she replies, "Me too." She adds, her voice just as quiet.

"So we're really gonna give this friends things a try?" I ask.

"Yeah," she murmurs. "I'd rather have you as my friend than not have you at all," she adds quietly. I smile softly at her, entwining my hand with hers and squeezing it lightly before letting it go.

Vicki takes a hold of Bella's hand, causing Bella to break our gaze to look down at Vicki and smile at her before leading her out of the room. Riley takes a hold of my hand as we follow behind them. I can't stop the small smile that forms on my lips as I watch Bella and Vicki converse in a hushed conversation, smiling at each other and laughing lightly.

* * *

We drive to the beach in a comfortable silence. That is, until Vicki decides to make conversation with Bella, asking her a million questions as though it's an inquisition. They talk about their favorite colors, foods, animals and flowers. Bella glances over at me before looking away and smiling sheepishly when she says her favorite color is green. Nothing seems to have changed about Bella. Her favorite foods are still Ravioli spaghetti and chocolate. Her favorite animal is still a panda and kitten and her favorite flowers are still phonies, red lilies, daffodils and daisies.

When we arrive at the beach, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett are already down on the sand. We make our way over to them and set up our things. I introduce Vicki and Riley to everyone one at a time. I think Vicki is excited to have other people to talk to besides me, especially since they're girls. They all settle in conversation and getting to know each other when I notice Jacob coming out of the water.

He waves at me as I excuse myself and make my way over to him.

"Hey, man," I greet kindly.

"Hey. You still going to the fair tonight?" he asks.

"Yeah. Are you still coming with me?"

"If that's still cool with you," he replies.

"Of course it's cool with me."

"Doesn't seem so cool with your siblings," Jake says through a chuckle as he looks past me.

"Whatever, they can't tell me who I can or cannot be friends with."

"You're a good dude, Ed," Jake says through a chuckle. "Is that Bella?" he asks, looking over to where she sits.

"Yeah."

"How are things with you two?" he asks sincerely.

"We're gonna be friends and see how that goes."

"Well, it's good to hear it," he says kindly.

"Thanks," I reply, laughing softly.

"Well, I should head off. I'll see you tonight," he says, slapping me on the shoulder before walking away.

I walk back over to everyone and sit down. I can feel Jasper and Emmett's eyes on me so I glance over at them and look at them pointedly, silently telling them to just hurry the fuck up and say what they wanna say.

"Why do you keep hanging around that Jacob kid for?" Jasper complains.

"Because he's my friend."

"He's a bad influence," Jasper says.

"He is not," I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Of course he isn't," Emmett scoffs.

"You don't even fucking know him," I say angrily.

"Calm down, grumpy pants," Emmett jokes. I narrow my eyes at him before speaking again.

"No, I won't calm down. Jake's a good friend and hasn't pressured me into drugs or anything else you think you've got stuck in your head about him."

"We're just trying to look out for you, man," Jasper says sincerely.

"Well, you don't have to when it comes to Jake. I'm not gonna stop being friends with him just because everyone sticks him into some sort of stereotype."

"He sells drugs, dude," Emmett says.

"He hasn't done that shit in ages. And it's not like he ever forced it onto anyone, he gave it to people who asked for it," I reply, frustration seeping into my voice. "And when he thought someone was becoming out of control with the shit, he refused to give it to them," I add seriously.

"Of course he did," Emmett scoffs.

"Like I just said – you don't even know him, so don't judge him because of what other dickheads say and what you assume."

"Righto. Let's just drop it," Jasper says before looking at me pointedly and glancing at Vicki and Riley.

Fucking hell, I completely forgot about them for a second. Now I'm going to have to tell them about drugs and how bad they are and to never touch them in their entire fucking lives. For Christ sake, I feel like a goddamn parent. When I look over at them, their expressions don't show curiosity — they show concern. I give them a reassuring smile that everything is fine and not to worry about it. They return the gesture before letting everyone know they want to go play in the water.

I force myself up off the sand and hold both of their hands when we walk down to the water. Riley takes one step into the ocean before squealing, cowering away and refusing to go in. This causes Vicki to laugh at him teasingly. I scold her and tell her not to be mean, otherwise I'll throw her into the water. She narrows her eyes at me, crossing her arms across her chest, silently daring me to try it. I smirk at her and her eyes go wide as I begin stalking towards her. She turns to run away from me but I'm too fast for her. I scoop her up in my arms and head into the water. She squeals and giggles, flailing her arms and legs around ferociously as she screams for me to put her down. I oblige, and throw her into the water. She resurfaces in a complete giggle fit before splashing the water at me.

Riley eventually gets into the water after getting used to the temperature. I watch on in amusement as Riley creates a water fight between Vicki and himself. He jumps on top of Vicki's back, trying to force her down into the water. Vicki attempts to do the same, but quickly realizes that she's probably too big to try that on Riley. Instead, she proceeds to splash water in his eyes before grabbing him by the waist and pulling him down into the water with her.

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett all come down not long after that to join in the fun. Vicki sticks with Alice and Rose and Riley sticks with Jazz and Em. I look up and notice that Bella is still up on the beach, a book in her hands as she watches us in amusement. I smirk at her before walking back up to where she is. Her eyes go wide as she realizes that I'm not going to sit beside her. Instead, I stand over her and shake my head, letting the water drop down onto her.

"Ew, that's freezing!" she complains, narrowing her eyes at me. I laugh lightly before sitting down next to her.

"Have you even been to the beach before?"

"Um. Yes…" she says emphatically

"How long ago was this?" I ask.

"When I was younger, I used to come all the time with my parents." she replies quietly, a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Are you sure? Because I'm pretty sure most people don't come to the beach to read," I joke, trying to make her feel better. The corners of her lips turn up into a small smile.

"Whatever. I'm perfectly content not freezing my ass off."

"You're such a wuss," I tease.

"Shut up, I am not."

"Then why aren't you down there joining in the fun?" I ask.

"Like I just said – that shit is freezing. I'm not going anywhere near the water. I'm quite happy staying on land."

"Oh, really?" I reply questioningly before standing. I smirk down at her, which makes her eyes go wide just as Vicki's did.

"Don't you even think about it," she warns seriously, closing her book and placing it beside her just as I reach down and grab her by the arms, pulling her to her feet and dragging her towards the ocean.

"Edward, let me go right now," she says in a panic.

"No way, love. You're going in," I reply before pulling her closer to me and lifting her up over my shoulder. She lets out a squeal before she begins throwing punches on my back.

"Edward Cullen, you put me down _right _now!" she yells again.

I glance over at everyone down in the water to see them all watching in shock and amusement. I walk into the water until it's up to my hips. I throw Bella into the ocean, laughing hysterically when she flails around trying to stand back up. When she balances herself, the water is up to her torso and she glares murderously at me. She splashes water at me and slaps me on the chest before walking past me and back towards the beach.

"Come on, Bella. Where are you going?" I call out to her.

"You suck. Don't talk to me!" she shouts back before continuing her way back up the beach. I race after her when she picks up her towel and begins walking up to the car park.

"You're not mad, are you?" I ask hesitantly.

"No," she replies, laughing lightly. "But you know I hate the cold," she murmurs.

"Honestly, Bella. Why come to the beach if you're not gonna go in the water?" I joke.

"Because maybe I wanted to hang out with my _friends_," she quips.

"You said you weren't mad," I tell her.

"Thanks for the recap," she jibes.

"What's your problem? Why are you in such a bad mood? You've been fine all day. Is this about what happened at Jake's party?"

"No, it has nothing to do with that."

"Then what is it? You still haven't told me what you apparently did that night that will make me want nothing to do with you."

"I'm not talking about that with you right now," she says quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to hate me anymore than you do now."

"I don't hate you, Bella," I reply seriously.

"Right," she murmurs.

"Just tell me what's wrong," I plead. She lets out a heavy sigh and glances over at me before speaking.

"When you act like that towards me it just brings up past memories between us and it makes me want to spill everything out to you," she confesses sadly.

"What do you mean?" I ask softly.

"It makes me want to tell you everything, but I don't want to force you into listening to me because I'm trying to give you your time," she says.

"Oh. You know I didn't mean I needed time away from you, right?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just filled with all these mixed emotions."

"So am I," I reply honestly.

"I really want this being friends thing to work between us. I'm just scared that's all you're ever going to want," she says sadly.

"Hey," I say softly, placing my index finger under her chin and lifting it until she looks into my eyes. "You know that's not going to happen. You said to Vicki yourself our scars need to heal before anything happens between us again."

"I know. I'm sorry," she says, letting out a sigh. "Speaking of being friends, I have a present for you," she adds quietly.

"Oh, yeah?" I ask, quirking my brow in curiosity.

"Do you have the keys to your car on you?" she asks.

"Yeah…"

She turns her back on me and walks through the parking lot, searching for my Volvo. When she spots it she stands beside it and waits for me to open it. When the automatic lock indicates it's open she opens the passenger side door and leans in to pull out her bad. She reaches inside and hands me a wrapped package.

"What is it?" I ask curiously.

"Open it," she says softly.

I rip the wrapping to see a signed copy of Linkin Parks first released album 'Minutes to Midnight' signed by the lead singer, Chester Bennignton. My jaw drops open and my eyes go wide with shock. I recover myself quickly before glancing over at her.

"Where did you get this?" I ask breathlessly.

"From an op-shop in Port Angeles. I can't believe someone gave it away to be honest,"

"Neither can I…"

"Do you like it?" she asks hesitantly.

"Bella, I love it." I reply honestly.

"Really?" she asks excitedly.

"Yeah. Why are you giving it to me though?" the blush rushes into her cheeks and she smiles sheepishly at me before shrugging her shoulders.

"I guess because it reminds me of our first date. And I wanted to show you that I still care about the things that are important to you," her voice is so quiet and filled with nerves. She bites her bottom lip and glances up at me through her lashes.

"Thank you,"

"It's okay."

"I don't mean just for the CD. I mean for forgiving me for being such a prick to you; for giving me time and for showing me you still care. I know it's been really hard, but we're gonna get through this." I tell her sincerely.

"I know we will," she replies confidently. I close the distance between us and pull her into my arms. She wraps her arms around my waist. "I'm here whenever you're ready, I'm not going anywhere." She adds softly, squeezing me lightly before pulling out of the embrace.

"Well, we better get back down to everyone," I tell her.

"Okay," she replies quietly.

"Sorry about before," I say.

"It's fine, don't worry about it. Friends fight, you know," she jokes, smiling softly at me as we begin to walk back down to the beach.

* * *

When everyone is ready to head home, we drive back in silence. I think Vicki picks up on the blissful mood Bella and I are in and doesn't want to ruin it or burst our bubble of content. Bella waits in the car when I drop Vicki and Riley back at the hospital. Bella looks out of the window the whole way back to her house.

"Are you going to the fair tonight?" I ask as she unbuckles her seatbelt.

"I don't know. Depends if Tanya wants to go."

"I'm taking Riley and Vicki. So just send me a text if you end up going."

"Okay," she replies softly.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened at Jake's or do I have to find out off someone else?"

"I know I should tell you, but you'll probably find out off someone else," she replies sadly before climbing out of the car.

"Okay. But when I do find out I won't be angry with you."

"I'll believe that when I see it," she jokes, smiling softly before walking away.

"Thanks again for the CD," I call out of the window.

She turns around and smiles genuinely at me before turning back around and walking into the cottage.

* * *

When I get home, Carlisle calls me into his office and gives me a lecture about my behavior at Jacob's party. Of course he'd find out about everything that happened. He goes on and on about how I need to start thinking before I act and that I'm lucky I have two good brothers like Emmett and Jasper to have my back when shit starts to go wrong. When there's no fucking doubt that Emmett or Jasper were the ones who probably blabbed everything to Carlisle in the first place. I strongly believe it would have been Emmett more than Jasper though.

I apologize and tell him that it was just a weak moment and it won't happen again. I also explain to him that I'm getting extremely sick of everyone trying to tell me who I can or cannot be friends with. I tell him about my conversation with Jasper and Emmett, and surprisingly, Carlisle agrees with me that people shouldn't be judging Jacob when they don't even know him.

"I'm proud of you, son. I trust your judgment with Jacob. And if you say he's a good person, then I believe you."

"Thanks."

"Do you want me to have a talk with Jasper and Emmett?" he asks.

"Nah, it's cool. I think I made myself pretty clear today," I reply. "Thanks though," I add appreciatively.

"You're welcome. Have fun at the fair tonight," he says kindly, silently dismissing me from his office.

I head upstairs to have a long, hot shower before relaxing for a few hours before I have to go pick up Vicki and Riley again for the fair tonight. A few hours later, I'm hanging in the lounger room when the doorbell rings. I jump up to get it and I'm greeted by Jacob when I open it.

"Hey, come on in," I tell him before heading back into the living room.

"Wow. Nice house, dude," he compliments.

"Thanks. You want a tour?" I ask.

"Nah, I'm cool. Maybe another time," he replies, laughing nervously.

"Do you want to head off?"

"Yeah, sure. Whenever you're ready."

I grab my phone and car keys off the coffee table before walking past him and out of the house. He follows behind me and climbs into the passenger seat.

Jake stays in the car when we arrive at the hospital to pick up Riley and Vicki. They're really excited and don't stop talking the whole way down to the car. I introduce them to Jacob as they climb into the back seat. They chat away with him the whole way into town, and to be honest, I am a bit surprised about how well he interacts with them.

When we get to the fair, the kids insist on going straight on the carousel. I pay for their tickets and then wait in line. It doesn't take very long to get to the front, considering not many kids are interested in the carousel right now. Vicki climbs up onto a horse and Riley wants Jacob and I to get into the carriage box with him. When the ride is finished, Jacob says he's gonna go meet up with some other friends and then meet back up with us later.

Vicki, Riley and I wander around the fair, going on different rides and lining up to buy something to eat. I buy a large hot chips to share between us, along with a bag of cotton candy for each of us. When we're finished eating, I decide to go to one of the game stalls to try and win the kids a prize. Jessica is working at the stall where you have to shoot three basket balls into the hoop. She looks up slightly as she sees us making our way over to her. I notice that she avoids facing me straight on and doesn't meet my gaze.

"Hey!" she greets us cheerfully. "And who are these two gorgeous kids?" she asks, glancing between Riley and Vicki.

"This is Vicki and Riley, they're my little brother and sister," I tell her.

"Oh," she says softly, knowing exactly what I'm talking about. "My name's Jessica. It's so nice to meet you two," she adds sweetly, bending down to their level.

"Hi," Vicki replies shyly.

"Hewo!" Riley says enthusiastically.

"What's wrong?" I ask Vicki, bending down so I'm at eye level with her.

"Nothing. She's really pretty," she whispers.

"You're pretty too," I reassure her.

"It's not that, silly," she says exasperated. "Is she your girlfriend?" she asks.

"No. Why would you think that?"

"You seem close," she says softly.

"She's just a good friend, honey."

"So you still love Bella?" she asks hesitantly.

"Is that why you're upset?" I ask shocked. She shrugs her shoulders, causing me to laugh lightly. "Yes, I still love Bella," I reassure her.

I stand back up to find Jessica has finally turned her body towards me completely, confusion clear on her face. She quirks her brow at me before looking down at Vicki and then back to me. That's when I finally notice her black eye.

"Jesus Christ, what happened to you?" I ask, my voice filled with shock. There's a sharp intake of breath. I look down to see that Riley's face is covered in shock.

"Ed, you jus seda bad werd," Riley says before giggling.

"Naughty, Eddie. You shouldn't take Jesus' name in vain," Vicki scolds, shaking her head at me in mock disappointment.

"Sorry guys," I respond, chuckling to myself before looking back to Jessica. I don't take my eyes off hers as I wait for her response.

"Uh, Bella and I kind of got into a cat fight after you left," Jessica says quietly.

"Right. Rosalie told me about that. It looks more like a cat fight. Did she punch you?" I ask incredulously. "What were you even fighting about?" I ask.

"You," she says so quietly I'm not quite sure I heard her correctly.

"Me? Why?" I ask astonished.

"Well, I stuck up for you, and she kind of lost it. I guess she had every right to because I was being an extreme bitch…" she trails off, looking away from me. "I feel so bad about everything, but she just frustrates the hell out of me!" she adds exasperatedly.

"You should be telling her this, not me," I reply honestly.

"I know, but she hates me. She won't listen to what I have to say," she says sadly.

"Seriously? God, she is so hypocritical," I mumble.

"There you go taking the Lord's name in vain again," Vicki laughs I look down at her to see amusement clear in her eyes.

"You're a cheeky little devil today, aren't you?" I ask, laughing lightly. I look back to Jessica, her expression still filled with confusion.

"I didn't think you would know about her little alcoholic moment at the party. Did she tell you?" she asks confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh. What are _you_ talking about?" she asks confused.

"I'm talking about how she keeps getting angry at me because I'm not ready to hear what she has to stay about why she left," I tell her quietly, not wanting the kids to hear us talking about this.

"Oh," she responds, her voice soft.

"What were _you_ talking about?" I ask suspiciously.

"Umm. I don't know if it's my place to tell you," she replies reluctantly.

"She said I'll probably find out off someone else. So just tell me, Jess," I reply, letting out a sigh.

"Well, after your little argument with her, she grabbed a bottle of Tequila and drank it to herself. I found her sitting on the steps with Alice and Rosalie. They must have found her after she'd drank most of it."

"Seriously?" I ask astonished.

"Yeah. That's when we got into the fight. She went off her nut, it was crazy."

"Well, I'll be damned," I mutter.

"Are you angry with her?" she asks curiously.

"I'm not, actually. I didn't know she had it in her to be honest," I reply, laughing lightly.

"I didn't think you would be. Anyway, are you ready to win these kids a stuffed panda?" she asks cheerfully, putting an end to that conversation.

"I sure am," I reply confidently.

I win Vicki a unicorn and Riley a tiger. Bella doesn't end up texting me to tell me if she was going to the fair or not, so I just assume she isn't coming. We meet back up with Jacob and we take the kids on the Ferris wheel before heading home. The kids are sad to leave, but they are extremely grateful for being able to go.

I walk them back up to the hospital and get bombarded with hugs before I leave. I drive Jake out to his house in La Push. He asks if I want to come in and hang out for a bit, but I'm too beat and want to head home to get some sleep. I thank him for coming tonight and tell him we'll catch up later in the week.

* * *

"Fuck, I hate Mr. Berty," I mutter under my breath. Jasper laughs lightly beside me which just catches Mr. Berty's attention. Fucking Jasper, the idiot.

"Something amusing, boys?" he asks, annoyance clear in his voice.

"Of course not, sir," I reply, letting out a heavy sigh.

"If this class is too boring for you, Mr. Cullen, you could always switch classes."

"I think I might do that," I mumble.

"What was that?" he asks sternly.

"Ed, stop being a smartass. Class is nearly over," Jasper whispers beside me.

"Whatever," I murmur before laying my head on top of the desk.

Ten minutes later the end of class bell signals and I fly out of that classroom as though I'm the flash.

* * *

Trig was just as boring as English. The only difference is, Emmett isn't a huge nerd like Jasper is and he actually talks to me during class and isn't afraid to get caught up on it by the teacher.

"You spoke to Bells yet?" he asks.

"No. I will today, though."

"I still can't believe she drank a whole bottle of Tequila to herself," he says astonished.

"Tell me about it," I mutter.

"I'm surprised she could even stand let alone get into a fight and actually do some damage. Have you seen Jessica's face?"

"Yes, I've seen it. I'm the one who told you about this whole situation, remember?"

"Oh. Right, I forgot," he replies, chuckling lightly.

"You're a tool," I joke, nudging him with my elbow.

"Whatever, man. I never knew Button was so feisty."

"Yeah."

"So, you aren't pissed at her or anything? Cause I know she's worried about that."

"No, Emmett. For the thousandth time, I'm not angry with her," I tell him exasperatedly.

"Just double checking, man."

"Well, don't," I reply, annoyance seeping into my voice.

"Hey, now. Don't get your knickers in a knot," he replies through a laugh.

"You're so annoying sometimes," I mutter.

"Whatever. You love me," he replies, slapping me on the back. Once again, causing me to wince in pain because he's a fucking behemoth.

* * *

Lunch goes by quickly. There's still tension between Jessica and Bella drifting throughout the room. I catch them glancing at each other a few times, one of them quickly looking away when the other catches them staring. They both let out heavy sighs and sink down lower into their seats. You can tell that both of them want to talk their shit out, but they both don't want to have to be the first person to start the conversation.

Everyone talks about the fair and how great it was. Jessica pipes up into the conversation and talks about how fun it was to work there. Emmett asks Bella why she didn't go and she responds by shrugging her shoulders and saying: "I just didn't feel up to it,"

When the bell rings, signaling the end of lunch, I follow Bella as she makes her way to her locker.

"Hey," I greet her kindly as I lean against the locker next to hers.

"Hey," she replies softly.

"What do you have next?"

"Trig with Rose," she says before glancing at me. "And Jessica," she adds softly.

"And Jessica?" I ask confused.

"Our teacher assigned our seats together for the rest of the semester," she informs.

"Oh. So how come Rose isn't walking to class with you?" I ask curiously.

"I don't know? Maybe she didn't feel like it."

"Is everything alright?" I ask concerned, stepping closer to her and placing my hand on her arm. She looks down at it before glancing back at me for a split second.

"Why wouldn't it be?" she asks softly.

"I dunno? I thought everything was all right between us. Considering you showered me with a gift and all," I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"No, we're fine," she responds, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Then what's the problem?" I ask, gliding my hand down her arm and entwining my hand with hers, squeezing it lightly.

"It's nothing," she says softly, glancing up at me through her lashes.

"I heard about your little drunken moment at Jake's party, by the way," I tease her.

"Yeah? And who told you about that?" she asks curiously.

"Jessica," I reply.

"Of course she did," she mutters, removing her hand from mine. "Why are you talking to me then?" she asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"I told you once you found out about what I did at the party, you'd want nothing to do with me. I was pretty confident about my prediction, so why are you talking to me?"

"And I told you that I wouldn't get angry with you," I remind her, rolling my eyes. "People make mistakes, Bella. I was wasted that night too, remember?" I add, looking at her pointedly.

"True," she ponders.

"You should talk to Jess and sort out your drama. I know she wants to talk to you."

"I don't want to hear what she has to say," she replies, annoyed.

"That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think?" I ask.

"Haven't you heard? I'm pretty big in the hypocrisy these days."

"That's not funny, Bella."

"I wasn't trying to be funny," she replies seriously. "I'm just repeating what everyone says about me these days," she adds, closing her locker a little aggressively.

"I don't think it's fair that you're willing to be friends with me but you don't want anything to do with Jess."

"That's completely different," she insists.

"How is it?" I ask humorlessly. "She was your best friend for twelve years, Bella. Don't you miss her friendship at all? I know she misses yours," I add earnestly.

"Did she tell you that?" she asks softly.

"That's not for me to say."

"Right," she mumbles.

"Look, how about this? If you just talk to her and try and sort out your stuff, I'll listen to you about why you left." Her head snaps up, her eyes meeting my gaze. I can see the hope sparkling in her eyes.

"Really?" she asks hesitantly.

"Yes," I reply, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"Why?" she asks uncertainly.

"Because I'm ready, I guess. And Jess needs her best friend back. I can tell."

"Okay…" she replies hesitantly.

"You'll do it?" I ask hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll do it," she replies quietly, shrugging her shoulders indifferently. She meets my gaze as cup her cheek in the palm of my hand. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. When I remove my hand, she opens her eyes and I smile softly at her. She returns the gesture before walking away.

Carlisle was right, timing is everything. And time heals all wounds.

* * *

**Okay, so I decided to post this chapter a day early haha (:**

**Edward and Bella are working on being friends to work their way back to the way they were before Bella left. I wanted this chapter to have some fun in it as well as some honest discussions between B&E. I hope you all enjoyed it! **

**Thanks to everyone who are reviewing and adding CU to their alerts and favourites, it really means a lot!**

**Thank you to the most amazing, beautiful woman in the universe. My Beta; Jenndur. She puts up with a lot of my shit and she's really, really amazing. I don't know what I'd do without her!**

**natalee-x**


	36. Unexpected Letter

**A/N: Bella's clothes for school: **http:/i52 . tinypic . com/2wqg789 . jpg  
Bella's talent show outfit: http:/i52 . tinypic . com/165fo1 . jpg  
Bella's clothes on Saturday: http:/i56 . tinypic . com/11jwxow . jpg

**Disclaimer: **I do not in any way, own any of the songs performed or mentioned in this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty Six **_–__ (Unexpected Letter)_

**BPOV**

* * *

Life decided to hate me today because everything just seems to be going wrong.

Firstly, my alarm didn't go off this morning, making me fall fifteen minutes behind schedule. When I woke up, it felt like I'd been run over by a Mac truck because I got hardly any sleep from all my tossing and turning.

Secondly, when I made my cup of tea this morning, I was in such a rush that I ended up putting salt in my tea instead of sugar, causing me to spit the contents everywhere. This proceeded in me cleaning the entire kitchen because I kept finding something new that I deemed fit for cleaning.

Thirdly, the dryer shrank most of my clothes, so I was finding it beyond difficult to find anything comfortable to wear. I eventually found my last clean pair of dark blue skinny leg Levi's and navy blue and white stripe truffle shirt. I slipped on my vans, grabbing my leather jacket and sunglasses as I rush out of the room.

And last but not least, I couldn't find the keys to my damn truck and when I did, the ancient bastard took ten minutes to start, causing me to be half an hour late to my first class.

Yep. Life definitely hates me today.

So here I am, rushing down the isolated hallway, making my way to first hour biology. When I glance through the little peep hole, I notice Edward scribbling away in his book. He must feel my gaze on him because his head snaps up and he glances over to the door, his intense jade eyes lock with mine and pierce straight through me. His lips curve up into that annoyingly, beautiful, smug smirk, making my breath catch in my throat. He quirks his brow at me, silently questioning me why I'm still standing on the other side of the door.

I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat, mentally slapping myself for making myself even later and for being such a wimp. I break our gaze and open the door, walking straight over to Mr. Banner's desk and handing him my late slip. He smiles at me kindly as he takes the note from my hand and looks back down on the papers he's grading.

I keep my eyes locked on the ground, watching each step I take closer to the desk I share with Edward. I haven't been able to lock out that last conversation we had. He told me if I listened to what Jessica had to say, then he would listen to me.

"Hey, friend," he greets me playfully.

"You're a tool," I joke.

"Ouch," he replies, his hand resting across his heart in mock hurt.

"Have you talked to Jessica?" he inquires.

"No, not yet. I've been swamped with trying to catch up on all the work I missed when I was away."

"What classes are you behind in?" he asks concerned.

"Trig. Biology and History," I groan.

"I can catch you up on all the Biology work, if you want?" he offers.

"Really? That would be great."

"Jazz is a huge nerd at Trig, so he could help you with that too…"

"Ergh. You're a lifesaver, thank you."

"That's what friends are for, right?" he asks, nudging me with his elbow.

I glance over at him to see his cocky smirk in full force. I roll my eyes before swatting his arm playfully. He laughs quietly beside me and smiles softly, placing his hand on top of mine. I return the gesture just as he squeezes my hand lightly before letting it go.

* * *

Rose and I run into Edward and Emmett in the hallway on the way to the cafeteria for lunch. Emmett greets Rose with a grin on his face, pulling her into his arms and trailing kisses from her temple and down her cheek. The corner of her mouth turns up into a smile as soon as his lips meet hers.

I look away, feeling as though I'm intruding on their moment. I glance over at Edward to see that he's smirking at me. I mock glare at him, biting my bottom lip as I feel the blush rush into my cheeks. This just causes him to laugh lightly before shaking his head at me.

"Shut up," I murmur, laughing lightly before continuing to walk to the cafeteria.

I can't help the smile that forms on my lips as I hear the footsteps of Edward running up to fall into step with me. He nudges the side of my arm with his elbow before throwing his arm across my shoulders and pulling me into his side.

"Aw, look at you two being all cute and shit," Emmett quips.

I glance up at Edward and smile sheepishly. He rolls his eyes before returning the gesture and squeezing me lightly before releasing me.

"Shut up, Emmett. You're such a buzz kill," Edward complains, causing me to giggle to myself quietly. Edward glances over at me, his lips turning up into a grin before he walks a head of us.

"I'll see you guys at the table," he calls out, his eyes meeting mine as he looks over his shoulder and winks at me.

* * *

"Maybe you should go talk to her now," Alice whispers as we wait in the line to collect our lunch.

"I don't know," I reply hesitantly.

"Just get it over and done with so you can sort your shit out with Edward," Rosalie says.

"Rosalie, don't be so insensitive!" Alice exclaims, causing Jessica to look over at us. Her expression is filled with curiosity, glancing between me, Alice and Rosalie. Alice smiles politely and gives her a small wave. Jessica returns the gesture before turning back around.

"I'm not being insensitive – I'm trying to encourage her."

"Well, you sounded mean."

"Jesus Christ, Alice. Bella is a big girl, she can handle the way I speak to her."

"And I can handle making my own decisions," I snap, my patience wearing thin with their bickering.

"Sorry, Bella. I just really think you should go talk to her," Alice insists, smiling at me apologetically.

"Fine," I cave, letting out a heavy sigh before walking up to Jessica. "Jessica?" I address her kindly, my voice quiet. She turns around to face me, the expression on her face neutral.

"Bella," she replies curtly.

"Look, I know you probably don't want to, but I was wondering if we could talk?" I ask. Her eyes snap up to meet mine, her expression turning to shock for a split second before she composes herself.

"Oh," she says softly. "What about?" she asks.

"Everything," I confess.

"When?"

"Whenever you want."

"Why do you suddenly want to talk to me?" she asks hesitantly.

"You were my best friend for thirteen years, Jess. I just need too."

"And Edward asked you to, didn't he?" she asks.

I stay silent, not knowing if that's going to be a problem or not. She glances up at me, her eyes filled with kindness.

"Yeah," I reply honestly.

The corners of her mouth turn up into a tiny smile. "Of course he did," she says quietly. "He's a good friend," she adds thoughtfully.

"Yeah, he is," I respond earnestly.

Jessica and I grab our lunch and walk over to the table together. To say that Edward was filled with happiness is an understatement. I haven't seen his eyes filled with so much content and happiness in a long time, leaving me with the feeling that I've definitely made the right decision to talk to Jessica.

"So are you two friends again now or something?" Emmett asks, confronting the elephant in the room.

"Uh. We, um –" I sputter.

"It's complicated," Jessica cuts me off. I glance over at her and smile thankfully.

"Yeah. We're working on it," I add.

"Baby steps," Jasper says encouragingly.

"Progress is progress," Edward says, smirking at Jessica and I.

He's such a smug bastard.

But I love him.

* * *

The next day during English, Rosalie and I are both stunned into shock when Jessica sits in the seat on the other side of me. I glance over at her and smile politely. She returns the gesture before pulling out all her stuff for class. I can't stop the light laugh that escapes my lips when I see that she's still the same old Jessica from when we were thirteen years old.

"What?" she asks suspiciously. I bite my bottom lip and shake my head.

"Nothing. It's just nice to see that some things never change."

"What do you mean?" she asks confused.

"You still have those little pencil cases filled with all your pens and highlighters."

"Oh," she replies, giggling slightly.

"You two are such children," Rosalie murmurs, causing Jessica and I to laugh again.

"Whatever, you love us," I joke.

"Whatever, indeed. Anyway, are you excited for tonight, Bells? I can't wait to hear you sing," Rose says.

"You're singing at the talent show tonight?" Jessica asks astonished.

"Yeah," I reply hesitantly.

"Oh, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I just remember when we kids you were so shy about singing in front of people."

"Yeah, I remember," I reply quietly, smiling as the memories of Jessica begging me to enter the talent shows flood my mind.

"Wow. Just, wow," she says dazed.

"Yeah," I murmur.

Jessica snaps out of her thoughts and she turns in her seat to face me. "So, Bella?" she addresses me.

"Yeah?"

"When do you want to have that talk?" she asks hesitantly.

"Like I said, whenever you're ready."

"Oh. Well, I'm willing to talk to you whenever you're ready," she replies quietly.

"Okay. Well, how about today at lunch?" I ask.

"That sounds great," she replies eagerly just as Mr. Berty calls the class to attention.

* * *

"So, I heard you're performing at the show tonight," Edward says as I take my seat next to him in Biology. I raise my brow at him which causes him to chuckle lightly.

"Yeah." The blush rushes into my cheeks.

"What songs are you singing?" he asks curiously.

"Uh. It's a surprise."

"But it's me. I'm not gonna tell anyone," he promises.

"Alice made me swear not to tell a soul."

"Oh, so Alice knows?" he teases.

"Yeah." I smile at him apologetically.

"Come on, just tell me," he implores.

"I can't. She'll murder me."

"Well, at least tell me _something_," he pleads.

"Okay," I respond, laughing lightly. "I'm singing an original song," I add nonchalantly as I shrug my shoulders, my voice barely audible.

"Wow. Well, you'll be great," he says kindly.

"I don't know about that. I think my nerves might get the best of me," I say, laughing nervously.

"Nah, you'll be fine. You have a great voice." I look up into his eyes to see sincerity clear as day in them. "Well, from what I remember," he adds, his lips curving up into that crooked smirk of his.

"Thanks," I murmur. I smile sheepishly at him, biting my bottom lip and breaking our gaze before continuing to doodle in the margins of my text book.

He laughs lightly beside me, causing me to glance back at him. When his eyes meet mine again, he winks at me. His cocky, yet charming smirk still in place – leaving me breathless.

* * *

By the time Jessica meets me out on the benches for lunch, I'm completely wrecked with uncertainty and my nerves are at an all time high. I bite my bottom lip, resting my hand on my chin as I absentmindedly drum my fingers on top of the table.

"Hey," she greets me breathlessly. "Sorry I'm a bit late – Ms. Garner kept me behind after class," she adds.

"Oh. Is everything okay?" I ask concerned.

"Everything is great. She said my grades have been really great in Chemistry so she just wanted to know if I wanted to do tutoring as apart of an extra curricular for my collage applications."

"Wow, that is great. Collage applications? We're starting them already?"

"We aren't starting them. We're just getting everything organized – like extra curricular activities and stuff," she reassures. "Hasn't the school counselor had a meeting with you about it?" she asks confused.

"No, she hasn't. Argh, I've fallen so behind."

"How? Is everything okay?" she asks concerned.

"Um, yeah. Just because of how I left. I missed out on a lot of work."

"Oh," she says softly.

And that's how we got into the whole drama about why I left Forks and all the events that led up to my insecurities and anxiety. I thought Jessica was going to storm off and drive over to Charlie's house to hit him with a baseball bat when I told her the bruise on my face was from him hitting me. She went into hysteria, shouting profanities at the top of her lungs. Then when I explained everything I felt after my mom left, and how I felt like I had to remove myself from her because I kept hurting her and letting her down, the tears welled up in her eyes within seconds and she started sobbing. She leapt into my arms and held my close, saying she was sorry for being so horrible to me over the years, which made me turn into a blubbering mess, sputtering my apologies for everything I ever did to hurt her.

"I'm so sorry for everything. I know it hurt you even more when I became friends with Alice and the rest of the Cullen's," I tell her, sniffling unattractively. "But you were friends with Lauren and she hates me and you hated me, and–"

"Bella, I didn't hate you. And to be honest? I never really liked Lauren. I think she just took me under her wing to piss you off or something."

"Well, it worked," I murmur.

"Look, I was hurt that you completely cut me out of your life and then became best buds with the new kids. But I never hated you. I missed you, I wanted my best friend back," she confesses, her voice cracking with emotion. "You were like my sister, Bella. It hurt me that your mom left as well and then it was like I lost you too," she adds, glancing up into my eyes.

"I thought you'd never want to be friend with me again," I admit honestly.

"We've been through too much together for that to be the case. And now that I know what you went through, I understand everything. I'm not gonna lie, it's going to be hard for me to trust you again," she says softly. "But I can forgive. Just know that I never forget," she adds seriously.

"I know," I reply quietly. I notice Jessica fidgeting around with her hands. She always did that when she was nervous to talk about something. "How have you been? Is everything okay?" I ask politely.

"Yeah, I've just… I've been going through some stuff lately and I've really needed you," she replies, smiling empathetically.

"What is it?"

"I'm just… God, all those brochures about how to come out to your friends and family are a crock of shit," she mumbles. I sit there in shock, taking in everything she just said. _Brochures about coming out to your friends and family?_ Jessica's a lesbian?

"You're gay," I reply, not stating the sentence as a question.

"Uh, yeah."

"How long have you known?" I ask attentively, taking her hand in mine.

"I think I've always known. You know, I've never had a boyfriend and I was finding myself noticing girls a lot more," she says, shrugging her shoulders. "I've only just come to terms with it myself though," she adds softly.

"Oh. Okay."

"Are you weirded out?" she asks sadly.

"What?" I ask astonished. "God no, Jess. This doesn't change anything. Tanya is gay too, you know," I tell her.

"Really?"

"I'm surprised you haven't noticed. If she wasn't so pissed off at you at Jake's party, she probably would have grabbed you by the shirt, pinned you against the wall and made out with you."

"What?" she asked shocked, laughing nervously.

"She's extremely sexually frustrated."

"Oh my god," she says before laughing hysterically. "I've missed this," she adds thoughtfully.

"I've missed this too," I reply softly. "I'm so sorry, Jess. For everything," I whisper.

"I'm sorry too, Bella. I feel horrible about everything that I did to you with Lauren. Especially that day in the hall."

"Can we please just put everything behind us?" I ask hopefully.

"We can try," She replies, smiling compassionately at me.

I return her smile before embracing her in a hug and closing my eyes in content. Approaching footsteps catch my attention and my eyes snap open to see who it is. My eyes lock with Edward's. A grin plastered on his face as he takes in mine and Jessica's embrace. I poke my tongue out at him, causing him to shake his head in amusement. I smile at him just before he turns to walk back into the cafeteria, leaving Jessica and I in our moment of reunion.

* * *

I raid my closet, looking for the peacock designed dress I bought in California. I start to stress out, thinking it's nowhere to be found. Tanya comes into my room to help me look. She holds it in front of me within a few minutes of searching. I'm such a dork. I completely forgot it was in my other closet. Tanya laughs lightly, shaking her head in amusements as she crouches down and pulls out my Gold Christian Louboutin Peep Toe Pumps. I smile thankfully at her when she hands them to me.

"Relax, babe. You have plenty of time to get ready," she reassures.

"I know. I'm just wrecked with nerves."

"You'll be fine," she insists, smiling sympathetically at me. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before returning her smile. Tanya kisses me on the forehead before heading back into her room to finish getting ready.

I jump into the shower to wash away my nerves and loosen the tension that's been building up in me. I dry myself quickly, putting on a clean pair of black boy leg panties and matching black strapless bra because my dress is also strapless. I apply my make up, making it a little heavier than I usually wear. I then start on my hair, deciding to use the front parts of my hair that I would pull back into half up half down style and braid them. Once they're braided, I place them across the top of my head, creating a headband kind of style. I leave the rest of my hair out, applying a few loose curls before spraying it with a hint of hairspray.

Once I'm done with my hair and make up, I walk back into my bedroom to get dressed. I pull the dress up over my hips and torso, calling out to Tanya to come help zip me up. She walks into the room, a grin on her face as she makes her way over to me.

"You look beautiful," she says as she zips up my dress.

"Thanks," I reply softly, sitting down on my bed to put on my heels.

"So you're friends with Jessica again?" she asks curiously.

"Yeah." The corners of my mouth turn up into a smile.

"Well, that's good. She's a hot little minx."

"I knew it!' I exclaim through a giggle.

"Knew what?" she asks confused.

"I knew you were attracted to her. You should ask her out."

"What?" she asks astonished.

"Yeah. Maybe you could just like, help her out and give her advice or something? She's recently come out of her closet – "

"Wait, wait, wait!" she cuts me off "Jessica's gay?" she asks incredulously.

"Yep."

"Well… My life just certainly got better," she mutters.

"Down girl," I joke, laughing lightly. "Don't be too intense towards her."

"Why? Maybe she likes it intense," she jokes, winking at me.

"Gross. I do not want to know about what Jessica's sexual preferences may or may not be."

"Just because you're sexually frustrated."

"That's rich coming from you," I tease.

"Whatever. How are you feeling?" she asks, changing the subject.

"Better. Still nervous."

"Try not to worry about it. You're gonna knock 'em dead," she assures. "And if you start to feel the nerves overtake, look for me in the crowd. I'll be in the front row," she adds, winking at me. I smile thankfully at her before standing and embracing her in a tight hug.

"Thanks, Tan," I whisper. She wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes me lightly before stepping out of the embrace.

"You're welcome. Now are you ready to go?" she asks.

"Uh. Yeah, I guess. I just need to grab my earrings and bracelet," I tell her.

"Okay, I'll meet you in the car then," she replies, smiling at me before walking out of the room.

I walk over to my dressing table and look through jewelry box. I find the pair of thick black hoop earrings and thick grey bracelet with green and blue stones on it that I was looking for. I put them on, picking up my black clutch bag and throwing my phone, car and house keys inside before making my way out to the car.

* * *

Tanya and I meet Alice, Rosalie and Jessica in the parking lot. They all have smiles on their faces when they look up and see us walking towards them.

"Hey guys," I greet them kindly.

"Hey, Bella. How are you feeling?" Alice asks.

"Nervous."

"Don't be, you'll be fine," Rose assures.

"I've been telling her that all night, but she hasn't been listening," says Tanya.

"Bell, you have a great voice. You haven nothing to worry about," Jessica adds.

"Aw, aren't you a doll," Tanya says, winking at Jessica. Jessica's cheeks flush scarlet.

"Uh, thanks. I still feel like I'm going to barf though," I say.

"You've sang in front of people before," Tanya says.

"Singing in a small diner on Friday nights is nothing compared to singing in front of a full auditorium."

"Stop stressing. You're going to be great," Alice encourages, embracing me in a hug.

"We'll see you in there," Rose says, smiling encouragingly.

"Do you want me to walk you back stage? So Tanya can go with Alice and Rose now?" Jessica asks politely.

"Yeah. Thanks, Jess," I reply quietly. Tanya smiles at me and winks at Jessica again before walking away with Alice and Rosalie.

Jessica and I head to the auditorium. When we arrive back stage, everyone is rushing around like they're chickens with their heads chopped off, causing my nerves and anxiety to come flooding back. I take a deep breath as someone rushes me forward telling me to check myself in and to look up what number I am to go on.

As soon as I look at the sheet with the people who are entering the talent show, I feel like a complete idiot. There are only six people entering including myself and I'm the last one to perform.

Great.

Jessica and I sit out in the hall as we wait for the show to start. The technicians said we could stay backstage if we wanted to but to make sure we stay quiet, so we went out into the hall instead.

"You really don't have to stay with me if you don't want to. You're missing out on the show," I tell Jess, glancing over at her.

"I'm only here to see you. I'll stay with you until you have to go on," she replies softly.

"Thanks," I reply, letting out a heavy sigh. I rest my head back against the wall as I hear the show start.

"Bella, calm down. You're going to psych yourself out," Jess says softly, reaching over and taking my hand in hers.

"I'm just afraid I'm going to stuff up. And what If I scare Edward off even more with the songs I'm going to sing?"

"You're singing songs to Edward?" she asks shocked.

"Yeah. Sort of. Well, my original song is about him."

"What's it called?"

"I'll Be Waiting," I reply quietly.

"What's the other song you're singing?" she asks curiously.

"Alive by Leona Lewis."

"Wow. You are going to nail that," she says, laughing lightly.

"I've upped the tempo on it a bit though, so it's a fast song rather than a slow one," I tell her,

"Oh, cool. That'll sound great," she says kindly.

"Bella, you're on in ten minutes," my music teacher Mrs. Watson says, popping her head out of the door.

"Already?" I ask anxiously.

"Yep. Come on, honey, let's get you ready," she says encouragingly.

"Oh god," I groan.

"Don't freak out, you're going to be fantastic," Jessica reassures. "Break a leg," she whispers, pulling me into a hug.

"Thanks," I murmur.

"I better head out into the audience, unless you want me to be back stage?" she asks.

"No, it's fine. You go out to Tanya," I tell her, smiling mischievously at her.

"I knew you had something to do with that," she mumbles.

I laugh lightly before smiling at her. She returns my smile – a lot more enthusiastically than me – before walking down the hall and into the doors that lead to the audience.

I follow Mrs. Watson back stage and she hands me a microphone with diamonds on it. I look at her quizzically. She laughs lightly, her lips turning up into a grin.

"Just for some spunk," she says, winking at me.

Because I made the tempo faster for Alive I had to put it onto a cd. Emmett, Jasper and Alice also helped me create some melodies for the songs I wrote, which are also on the cd as well. I hand the music tech the cd with my songs on it, telling him the songs I'm performing are number one and two. He smiles at me as he takes the cd out of my hands, wishing me luck before I walk away.

The curtain closes after the act before me finishes. I walk out on stage as everyone rushes around me. Someone places a microphone stand in front of me so I place the mic on it and begin to take a lot of deep breaths to try and calm myself down. I've never sang in front of such a big crowd before. The diner in California was only small, there's no way there was as many peoples as there's going to be here tonight.

I hear Angela Webber pronounce my name as the next performance.

"The next person to perform is Bella Swan. She'll be singing Alive by Leona Lewis and an original song she wrote herself called I'll Be Waiting, which was written for a special someone in the audience."

I'm going to murder Alice for making that my introduction.

"Let's give her an encouraging round of applause!" Angela cheers, before the curtains begin to rise. I told Alice to tell the light technician to start off with the stage in darkness for the first few lines of the song just so I could become comfortable.

The melody of the piano plays throughout the speakers. My decision to make the tempo faster makes the corners of my mouth turn up into a smile. I take another deep breath before beginning the first lines of the song.

"_I breathe, I hear, but I don__'__t believe it. My heart, it beats, but inside I__'__m freezing." _

The spotlight flashes onto me as the drum beat begins and I continue to sing the second line of the first verse. I sway my body side to side, preparing myself for the bridge. I open my eyes as I begin to sing the chorus, glancing around the stage as I notice all the different colours sputtering across me and the stage. I can't help the smile that forms on my lips, closing my eyes as I concentrate on the lyrics.

"_I__'__m stripped, I__'__m bare, I__'__m left here with nothing. I hold, the wheel, don__'__t know where I__'__m going.__"_I look out into the audience, my eyes automatically locking with Edward's. "Y_our face, I see, in every reflection. No time, no space, I__'__ve lost all direction-on. And there__'__s no turning back this time. Got to stay ali-i-ivee.__"_I hold the note, placing my hand on my stomach to focus on my diaphragm to make sure I hit the right tone.

I take the mic off the stand and walk towards the front of the stage as I carry on with the chorus. I spot Jessica and Tanya standing close together in the audience, grins on their faces as they tap their foot and bop their bodies to the beat. I give them a small wave, my smile turning into a grin at the sight of them.

_They better get together. _I think to myself.

"_I__'__m gonna get there some way, through all the tears in the rain. And any road I can take, just to get me some place.__"_I glance over at Edward again to see his eyes filled with sorrow as I practically sing the song to him._"__Where all the scars on my heart and all the lies in the dark, disappear in the headlights, so bright, tonight, gonna drive them away.__"_

"_Oohh, Where do I go when I__'__m so alone? Where do I turn, when we weren__'__t so close? We try not to crash but we still collide, tears I__'__ve cried, I__'__ll survive, I__'__m aliiiivee" _I break our gaze, turning my back to the audience and walking back to the microphone stand as I repeat the last line of the chorus, clutching onto my stomach as I bend forward to get hit the high notes with perfection.

"_Ohh Oh, I__'__m Alive,__"_ my voice is soft as I song the last line of the song.

I close my eyes as I wait for the audience's reaction. Everyone erupts into applause, causing me to snap my eyes open in shock. I can hear Emmett hollering - which to be honest – doesn't really surprise me because I wouldn't expect anything less from him. Even If I sucked. I glance over at Edward to see pride in his eyes. He winks at me before giving me thumbs up, his lips turning up into his cocky smirk. I bite my bottom lip just as Angela's voice comes out over the speakers again.

"Wow, Bella that was great!" she exclaims. "Okay, now here's her original song she wrote for that special someone in the audience and I think we already know who that is," she adds cheekily.

The piano Melody for _I__'__ll Be Waiting _begins to play, along with the drums and saxophone. I take the mic back off the stand and walk to the front of the stage again. I keep my eyes locked with Edward's as I sing the first few lines of the first verse. I stalk towards the front of the stage, not taking my eyes off his.

"_I__'__ve seen your face, under every sky, over every border and on every line. You know my heart more than I do __–__ we were the greatest, me and you." _I smile at him as his eyes widen with shock before he returns the gesture, his cocky smirk on his face.

I tap my hand against my hip as I carry on with the song, swaying my hips from side to side and bopping my body forwards and backwards as I get into the chorus. I glance out to the audience to see a few people standing up and dancing in their seats. Alice, Rose, Tanya and Jess included.

"_Let me stay here, for just one more night. Build your world around me and pull me to the light.__"_I sit down on the edge of the stage, crossing my ankles._ "So I can tell you, that I was wrong. I was a child then, but now I__'__m willing to learn.__"_

I meet Edward's gaze again, his eyes are filled with so much love and adoration it almost stops me from singing. _"__But we had time against us and miles between us, the heavens cried, I know I left you speechless. But now the sky has cleared and it__'__s blue. And I see my future with you. And I__'__ll be waiting for you when you__'__re ready, to love me again. I put my hands up, I__'__ll do everything different. I__'__ll be better to you.__"_

I continue singing as I look into Edward's eyes. I pull my legs up onto my left side so they're back on the stage. I swing them around to the back of me, placing the souls of my feet on the ground and swaying my body to stand back up. A move Tanya taught me. I head back to the mic when the melody slows down a bit as I repeat parts of the bridge before repeating the chorus for the last time.

"_I__'__ll do everything different. I__'__ll be better to you." _I recite the last line of the chorus before the lights go out, leaving me standing in darkness.

Everyone break out into applause again, making me feel the best I've felt since being back in Forks. To say that I'm shocked is an understatement. I thought no one would enjoy it, but there they all are cheering for me. I tap the microphone to see if it's still on even though no one can see me on the stage. It makes a vibration sound, indicating it's still on.

"Let's give it up for Bella again!" Angela cheers as she walks onto the stage, the spotlight hitting me right in the eyes and catching me off guard. "I never knew you could sing like that!" Angela adds before embracing me in a hug. I hug her back, smiling politely at her when we break apart.

"Thank you all so much," I say as I look out into the audience, my voice soft.

"So you wrote that last song?" Angela asks.

"Yeah."

"It seems very personal, do you want to tell us what it's about?"

"It's about someone who's very special to me. It's sort of an apology cross between a confession of the mistakes I've made."

"Is that person here tonight?" she probes. My lips turn up into a tight smile, my cheeks flushing violently.

"Yeah, he is," I confess. I look out to the audience and my eyes lock with Edward's.

"Well, it was beautiful. You're really talented," Angela says.

Somebody hollers out 'Encore' causing me to laugh lightly.

"Do you guys want to hear another song?" Angela asks the crowd. They respond by cheering and shouting out yes's then chanting the word Encore.

"Do you have another song?" Angela asks me.

"Uh. Yeah. It's more of an upbeat song," I answer.

"That's good. Let's get this party started!" Angela cheers before power walking off stage. Man, I never knew she was so confident and well spoken. She'd be the perfect host for a TV show. I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat as the technicians get my song ready. There were only three songs on the cd, so it's obviously the last song on the track.

"This song is called _Off The Chain._ I wrote it a while ago. It's all about love," I tell the audience just before the music starts. The opening melody for the song was inspired by one of Nicki Minaj's songs.

"_Twisted, you__'__ve shaken my existence. When I__'__m with you baby, blissed. All I__'__ve come to know.__"_I place my hands on top of the microphone, tapping my foot along to the beat.

"_Running, I didn__'__t see it coming. Blinded it__'__s so, stunning. I don__'__t wanna let you go..."_

I pull the microphone off the stand and skip down to the front of the stage, dancing to the beat as I sing. The small smile that started out on my lips morph into a full blown grin as I take in everyone in the audience dancing along to the song.

"_Coming, just keep the magic coming. You__'__ve got me baby, crushing. But it feels like so much more.__"_My eyes lock with Edward's again just as I begin to sing the second line of the second verse._"__Just when, when I least expect it, you make it feel so epic like nothing I__'__ve felt before."_

"_A thousand church bells ringing, I can hear the angels singing when you call my name, your love is off the chain." _I sing the chorus, the corners of Edward's mouth turning up into a smirk. "_The chemistry is crazy and you make me feel amazing and I can__'__t explain, your love is off the chain." _

I prance across the stage. I sway my hips from side to side, closing my eyes as I get lost in the song. I open my eyes and begin waving my arms above my head, indicating that I want to audience to do it too. They obey quickly as they continue to dance along to the music.

"_I__'__m not the type, who gets crazy for someone.__"_I sing, waving my index finger to the crowd._"__Odds of me trippin__'__ are like next to nothin__'__ Guarded my heart like a diamond ring. But love, your love, changes everything."_

I head back into the chorus as I walk into the middle of the stage again. I look down to the front row to see Tanya singing along to the song, her expression filled with pride as she watches me perform. I owe a lot to Tanya. If it wasn't for her I would have never had the confidence to do this. I would have never written my feelings down on a piece of paper and eventually turn them into songs. Kate helped me a lot with that too. And Garrett was also a huge part of encouraging me to perform at the diner.

_God, I miss them so much. _I think to myself sadly.

I snap out of memories as I carry on singing the chorus for the last time. I look back over to Edward, winking at him and pointing my finger out to him as I chant the last lines of the song.

"_Your love, your love, your love, love.__"_

I curtsy to the crowd when the song ends. My confidence and pride the highest it's ever been in my life.

* * *

When the show is over, I walk out into the auditorium to meet up with everyone. They all embrace me in a hug, telling me how great I was. I don't think I've ever blushed so much in my life. Edward isn't there when I come out. Emmett tells me he's in the bathroom. I'm a little hesitant to accept that he really is in the bathroom instead of just leaving without seeing me at all, but Edward knocks that thought out of my head as soon as he come up from behind me and places his hand on my lower back. I turn my head to face him to see his eyes shining elation. I smile kindly at him and he smirks back at me.

"You were great," he says earnestly, his voice filled with kindness.

"Thanks," I reply quietly.

"So, you wrote those last two songs huh?" he asks mischievously. I bite my bottom lip and the corners of my mouth begin to turn up into a smile.

"Yeah."

"They were so good," Alice gushes.

"Yeah. Weren't they great, Edward?" Jessica asks.

"Yeah, they were," he replies. "So who were they about?" he asks, feigning indifference.

"Oh, you know. Just a friend," I reply nonchalantly.

"Oh, Yeah. I think I know him," he quips, laughing lightly.

Edward pulls me into his side and squeezes me lightly before saying he's gonna head home. I wrap my arms around his waist and hug him, which I think catches him off guard for a split second before he composes himself and winds his arms around my shoulders. I feel him press his lips to my forehead, causing my lips to turn up into smile as I let out a content sigh. He walks away as soon as we break apart, Jasper and Emmett embracing me in another hug before following after him. I give Edward a small wave when he looks at me over his shoulder.

"Well, things seem to be getting better between you two," says Jessica.

"We're friends," I reply softly, a smile on my face.

"It's about time," Rosalie mutters causing me to laugh lightly. She rolls her eyes at me before returning the smile.

"Come over tomorrow, yeah?" Alice asks me.

"Yeah, okay."

"You too, Tanya," Rosalie adds.

"I can't, I've gotta work. Sorry," Tanya says regretfully.

"What about you, Jess?" Rose asks hopefully.

"Same here, Rose," she replies, smiling apologetically at her.

"Great. Now I'm gonna have to listen to these two gossiping and gushing all day by myself," she complains.

"You could always join in," I joke.

"Yeah. No thanks."

"Your loss," Alice says, nudging Rose in this side with her elbow. Rose mock glares at both at us before shaking her head and walking over to her car.

I hug Alice and Rose goodbye. Tanya does the same before placing a kiss on Jessica's cheek and winking at her before walking away. As I embrace Jessica in a hug, I chuckle to myself at the shock and sheepish smile on her face before parting ways and running to catch up to Tanya.

* * *

I wake up late on Saturday afternoon, greeted by Tanya serving me breakfast in bed. I scoot over so she can crawl into bed next to me. We sit together, having a comfortable conversation as I eat my breakfast. When I finish, I have a quick shower before getting ready to go over to Alice's house. I head down into the living room, confusion covering my face as I see Tanya sitting on the couch fidgeting anxiously. She meets my gaze as I walk into the room. I raise my brow as I sit down next her.

"What is it? What's wrong?" I ask concerned.

"This was in the mail box," she replies, handing me an envelope with my name on it. I can't stop the sharp intake of breath as I recognize the handwriting as my mothers. I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat.

"Oh," I say, my voice barely audible as I take the envelope out of Tanya's hands.

"I'll just leave you alone to read it," Tanya says as she stands up from the couch. I grasp onto her wrist, causing her to look down at me. I meet her gaze as I begin to panic. I don't want to deal with this alone.

"No, stay. I want you here with me," I tell her. "Please," I add pleadingly. She sits back down next to me and entwines her hand with mine, resting her chin on my shoulder as I open the envelope.

It's a long letter.

_To my beautiful, Bella:_

_I can__'__t believe I__'__m actually writing to you. I__'__m sorry it__'__s taken this long for me to reply to you, but I was honestly quite a bit shocked that you contacted me. You sound so mature and grown up. Well, I guess you are seventeen now. You have every right to say those things to me, I can__'__t even imagine what you have been through over the past four years and I can__'__t even begin to imagine how much you must loathe me for leaving the way I did. But believe me, if there was any other way I could have acted, I would have done it. I think a part of me always hoped that you would find that letter to Charlie and write to me. Do you know if he read it? How is he? Oh, that doesn__'__t matter right now. I don__'__t think I__'__ll be able to explain everything to you in one letter. I__'__d very much like to come see you. I completely understand if you don__'__t want to see me, but I very much hope you__'__ll agree. Believe it or not, I did what I did for your sake. I didn__'__t want you to be scared or see me the way I was, or the way I would have become. I miss you so much, baby girl. Why were you having trouble living in Forks? I hope everything is okay. Well, I__'__ll just leave it at that for now. There__'__s plenty of time to explain everything later. Please write back soon, honey. I love you._

_Love, Mom._

I can't deal with all of the emotions running through me right now. It's too much. I'd given up hope of thinking I'd ever hear from her again. I mean, it took her this long to reply to the three letters I already sent to her. And what did she mean she left for my own sake? She say's she wants to come and see me. Does that mean she didn't end up going far away from Forks like I assumed she did? God, she's just left me with a million more questions I crave the answers for. I didn't notice I was crying until a tear drops onto the page in front of me. I wipe at my eyes as Tanya wraps her arms around me and holds me close to her.

"Are you okay?" she asks softly.

"I think I'm just gonna call Alice and let her know I can't come over today," I murmur, pulling out of her embrace and standing up.

"Bella," Tanya addresses me hesitantly.

"You should get to work," I tell her.

"Bella, you aren't doing this. You aren't going to shrivel up and avoid everyone. You're going to Alice's," she says sternly. Tears well up in my eyes again as I let out a shaky breath. She closes the distance between and pulls me into another hug.

"I never thought I'd hear from her again," I sob into her chest.

"I know. It's okay, baby," she whispers, rubbing my back soothingly. "You should write her back," she adds. I pull out of the embrace, sniffing unattractively.

"Really?" I ask hesitantly.

"Well, she said she wants to see you to explain everything in person. So maybe you could write back and just tell her how you're feeling."

"I don't know how I feel right now, to be honest," I murmur.

"You don't have to write her back today," she tells me. "Look, I've gotta get to work. We'll talk when I get home," she adds quietly, cupping my face in her hands.

I smile sadly at her as I nod my head in acknowledgement. She kisses me on the cheek before picking up her bag and walking out of the cottage.

I wander around the house aimlessly, my whole body numb from shock. Getting that letter just made me realize how much I've missed my mom. How much I'd give to have her hold me in her arms and tell me everything is going to be okay. I can't stop thinking about what she said about leaving for my own sake. What could she have possibly gotten herself into that could effect me? Anxiety starts to fill me as my mind fills itself with different crazy scenarios.

I rush around the house, trying to find a pad of paper to write a reply to her. I eventually find one in one of the kitchen draws. Lord only knows why it's even there in the first place. I sit down on the couch, the pad situated on the coffee table in front of me. I bite my bottle lip, clicking my pen as I try to think of what to write. I let out a heavy sigh before I just give up and write whatever pops into my head.

_Dear Mom._

_Wow. To be honest, I didn__'__t think you would ever reply to me. Yeah, I__'__ve been through a fair bit over the year. A whole heaps of shit in the past few months to be exact. I mean, my mother just up and left without a reason, except a letter that didn__'__t really explain anything at all, which just left me with trust and abandonment issues and a father that hates me and blames me for your leaving, causing me to isolate myself from everyone and make horrible mistakes that I__'__m now dealing with the aftermath of. I never got the chance to loathe you, because I was too caught up feeling guilty about you leaving. I don__'__t hate you, but I am hurt. I guess that__'__s just because I don__'__t understand why all of this had to happen but I__'__m willing to hear you out. You said apart of you hoped for me to find the letter and write to you? Why didn__'__t you just write to me yourself? You had to have known how I would be affected by you leaving. And no, I don__'__t know if Charlie has read that letter and even if he did he probably forgot about it the next morning because of being the useless drunk that he is now. So with that being said, he isn__'__t doing very well. Of course I want to see you, I have so many questions. I need to know why you left __–__ I need to know the whole story. Like, what you mean about you not wanting me to be scared and seeing you the way you would have been. What does that even mean? I miss you too, so much. Please let me know whenever you want to come see me. Where are you anyway? And even after everything that__'__s happened, I do love you too. _

_Love, Bella. _

Just as I finish writing the letter, I hear my phone begin to ring from my room. I stand up and run down to my room to answer it but I'm too late. It starts ringing again as soon as I walk through my door, I pick it up and see Alice's name flashing on the screen. My lips turn up into a smile as I answer.

"Hey, Alice," I greet her kindly.

"_Hi, Bella! How are you? What time are you coming over?" _

"Oh, um. I was actually about to call you. I don't know if I can still come."

"_Why not?"_ she asks concerned.

"I just don't feel very well…"

"_Why are you lying to me?" _she asks sternly.

"What?"

"_Tanya called me to warn me that you may try and back out today."_

"Of course she did," I murmur.

"_She said she__'__d let you explain why,"_ she replies. I let out a heavy sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"I got a letter off my mom," I tell her, my voice barely audible.

"_Oh my god, are you okay?"_ she asks hysterically.

"I'm fine, I just don't think I'll be very good company today."

"_Bella, you can__'__t keep locking away your feelings. That__'__s what you did last time,__"_ she insists, the tone of her voice sad.

"I know, Alice. I just have a million emotions running through me right now, I don't want to burden you."

"_You could never be a burden to me. You__'__re my best friend __–__ I__'__m here for you through thick and thin." _she says seriously.

"Okay," I reply quietly. "I'll be over in an hour then. Thanks, Ali," I add appreciatively.

"_You__'__re welcome. Bye Bella!"_ she exclaims excitedly before hanging up.

A small smile tugs at the corner of my lips. I can't begin to explain how grateful I am for having such a great friend like Alice, especially after everything that's happened. She doesn't take my bullshit and always encourages me to open up more freely about my emotions.

She's one in a million and I wouldn't have her any other way.

* * *

**Hey everyone! I know this is a bit late (and I'm really sorry about that), but I've had no internet connection. I sort of still don't, it's going ridiculously slow at the moment and it took me forever to update today.**

**Thank you to everyone who have stuck by me and this story, thank you for adding this story to your alerts and favourites, thank you to everyone who continue to review and let me into their thoughts and feelings of each chapter, it really mean a lot to me.**

**Most and foremost, thank you to my most amazing Beta, and friend, Jenndur. She is beyond incredible and I'm forever grateful for having her in my life. She just posted the Epilogue to her story Ricochet on the 14th of this month, so go check that out! :)**

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I love you all x**

**natalee-x**


	37. A Little More Than Friends

_**Disclaimer: **__I do not own any of the songs that are mentioned or performed in this chapter. All rights belong to their original owners._

_**Note:** _Edward's outfit for Open Mic Night: **http:/i44 . tinypic . com/24dq1ar . jpg**  
Bella's outfit for Open Mic Night: **http:/i41 . tinypic . com/xx6ko . jpg **

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty Seven **__– (A Little More Than Friends)_

**EPOV**

* * *

It's been a few weeks since Bella performed at the school talent show and I haven't been able to get that image out of my head. I've never seen her so elated and confident. It made all my feelings of love and adoration for her flood through me so strongly I wanted to jump up on stage and assault her with kisses. We've continued to try and remain being friends before attempting anything more, and everything has been so great between us during this past week. It's starting to feel as though nothing bad even happened between us.

When I found out Bella and Jessica had made up and become friends again, I'd never been so happy in my life. It made everything between all of us so much easier. I swear, those two girls are about as stubborn as each other. Jessica confided in me about being gay after her fight with Bella at Jake's party. She told me how Bella thought there was something going on between Jessica and me and that I seem to care about Jessica more than I care about her. I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my lips at the crazy thoughts that run through Bella's mind. This just caused Jessica to place her hands on her hips and narrow her eyes at me. I could see the hurt and longing in Jessica's eyes. She needed her best friend back and that's why I insisted Bella speak to Jessica to sort out their drama.

It's amazing how far people can come sometimes. A few weeks ago Bella and Jessica were constantly glaring at each other and at each other's throats. And now they're the best of friends, putting the past behind them.

_x.X.x_

_It was a rare sunny day in Forks so Jessica, Bella and I decided to have lunch outside. Alice was busy running around somewhere and Emmett, Rosalie_,_ and Jasper were all cramming for their final S.A.T__'__s. I was helping Bella catch up on all her Biology work while Jessica read her book she had to study for English. Bella eventually ended up getting frustrated and agitated about how far behind she was with all her work and kept insisting that trying to catch up was just pointless and she__'__s just going to have to end up repeating. Jessica let out a heavy sigh before closing her book and glancing over at Bella._

"_Bella, you__'__re going to be fine. Stop freaking out," Jessica assured her._

"_You don__'__t know that,__"__ Bella insisted. _

"_You__'__re just making things worse by over thinking everything," I told her._

"_Well, it__'__s not my fault nothing is staying in my head,__"__ she complained._

"_I thought Tanya was helping you too?" Jessica asked._

"_She has been_, _but everything is just going in one ear and out the other."_

"_Are other things bothering you? Is that why you__'__re finding it hard to concentrate?" I asked._

"_You could say that," she murmured._

"_What__'__s wrong?" Jessica asked concerned. _

"_It__'__s nothing. Don__'__t worry about it," Bella replied. "Anyway, what__'__s going on with you and Tanya?" she added slyly, causing Jessica to blush furiously._

"_Uh. What do you mean?" Jessica asked softly._

"_Don__'__t play stupid,__"__ I joked._

"_Yeah. I know something is going on between you two," Bella said, laughing lightly._

"_Argh, I don__'__t know?" Jessica said exasperated. "I__'__ve never even had a girlfriend. I don__'__t even know what I__'__m doing.__"_

"_Well, even I can tell she__'__s into you,__"__ I told her._

"_So you two should just hurry up and get together," Bella teased._

"_Should we now?" Jessica quipped._

"_Yep," Bella replied, popping the P for emphasis._

"_Well, maybe I think you and Edward should hurry up and get together,__"__ Jessica said mischievously._

"_Edward and I are _friends,_"__ Bella said pointedly. This caused me to chuckle lightly, in which, Bella responded by glaring at me._

"_Mhm, whatever you say. We all know where this is heading," Jessica remarked, gesturing between Bella and I sitting closely together._

"_And we all know where you and Tanya are heading,__"__ Bella responded, trying to hide the blush that formed on her cheeks._

"_You are such a pain!" Jessica exclaimed, swatting Bella on the arm playfully as __the__ laughter overtook her. Bella and I joined in with her soon after before turning back to our Biology notes once again._

_x.X.x_

I feel my lips automatically turn up into a smile as I think of the memory. It's amazing how so many things can change in such a short time. I pull my cell phone out of my pocket and scroll through my contacts until I find Bella's name. I press the green call button and put the phone up to my ear, waiting for her to answer.

"_Hey,"_ she greets me cheerfully.

"Hey, you. What are you doing today?" I ask kindly.

"_I was just going to catch up on some more work."_

"That sounds like no fun at all."

"_Jeez, thanks for the encouragement,__"_ she replies through a laugh.

"I'm taking Vicki and Riley out for a picnic. You should come," I tell her.

"_I__'__d love __to,__ but I really need to catch up, Edward."_

"What you need is to get out of the house and away from all that work," I insist.

"_How am I meant to keep myself from repeating if I don__'__t do the work?"_

"You're concentrating on all of it too much. That's why nothing is sticking with you."

"_Fine,__"_ she mumbles, letting out a heavy sigh.

"I knew you'd give in."

"_Did you now?"_

"Yep. You just can't resist my charms," I joke.

"_Don__'__t I know it?__"_ she mutters. I laugh lightly.

"Come over in an hour?" I reply, stating the sentence as a question.

"_Okay."_

"See you then."

"_Bye, Edward."_

* * *

I have a quick shower before changing into a clean pair of black jeans and pulling on a navy blue button down shirt with my leather jacket over the top. I slip on my black vans before grabbing my car keys and shoving my phone into my jeans pocket.

I call into Jasper's room on the way downstairs.

"Doing a bit of light reading?" I ask as I walk into his room. He's sitting cross legged with a bunch of books and revision notes sprawled across his bed. He glances up at me and rolls his eyes.

"Ha-ha. Just you wait until you have to go though this next year," he says.

"I'm just gonna wing it," I reply nonchalantly.

"No, you're not."

"How would you know?"

"Because I know what you're like," he scoffs. "And Dad would murder you if you just threw your education away," he adds seriously.

"Whatever," I murmur.

"What are you doing today?" he asks curiously.

"Taking Vicki and Riley out on a picnic by the falls."

"Cool. That sounds like fun," he says longingly.

"Yeah. Bella's coming too."

"And how are things going with you two?" he asks genuinely.

"Good. I mean, we're doing pretty good at this friends business, I guess."

"Have you thought about when you're gonna be ready being more than friends?" he asks curiously.

"Yes and no. We're just gonna see where things go, I think."

"You know she wants more than friendship though, right?"

"Yeah. So do I, but we're not gonna rush into anything." He quirks his brow at me, causing me to roll my eyes at him. I let out a sigh, running my hands through my hair.

"Well, whatever makes you happy, man," he says sincerely.

"I should probably head downstairs. She'll be here any minute."

"You're so whipped," he says, chuckling lightly.

"Shut up," I murmur, flipping him off before turning my back on him to walk away.

"Have fun," he says, still laughing.

"I will," I reply cheerfully. "Have fun with your mountain of revision!" I shout after I'm out of his room.

The doorbell chimes just as I make my way downstairs. I rush over to the door, opening it widely to see Bella standing on the other side.

"Hey," I greet her kindly. "Did you wanna come in or do you wanna head off now?" I ask.

"Oh, I don't mind. Whichever is fine," she says sweetly.

"Well, let's go then," I reply, stepping outside and closing the door behind me.

"Okay," she replies softly, smiling sheepishly at me as I take her hand in mine and lead her to my car.

That's another thing we've automatically been doing whenever we're together. I don't know what it is and I don't know if that's normal procedure for friends, but I just like the feel of her hand in mine. I open the car door for her before walking around to the driver's side. Bella looks through my CD's as I drive down the winding driveway that leads to the highway. I glance at her and smile kindly as she finds the signed Linkin Park CD and pops it into the CD player.

"I hope you've been putting this to good use," she glances over at me and quirks her brow, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"Of course," I respond, grinning. She laughs lightly before breaking our gaze and looking out of the window.

"So, how is everyone?"

"Who?" I ask confused.

"Rose, Emmett and Jasper," she replies, in a tone that says I should know who she was talking about. "I don't see them much anymore," she adds sadly.

"That's because they're too busy cramming for their last set of SAT's."

"Yeah. That must suck."

"That's going to be you and me next year," I tell her sourly.

"Ergh. Don't remind me," she murmurs. "I can't believe I let you talk me into coming out today. I should be catching up on all of my work," she adds unhappily. I chuckle lightly, causing her narrow her eyes at me.

"I'm serious," she says grimly.

"Would you relax? You're hardly even behind anymore. You're practically completely caught up on all your Biology work."

"That's because you've been shoving all your notes down my throat every afternoon."

"Exactly. So you deserve a break," I say triumphantly.

"What am I meant to do about Trig and History? I'm still behind in them," she grumbles.

"When their SAT's are done, Rose and Jazz will help you," I tell her.

"Why is Rose even in my Trig class anyway? She's a senior," she says confused.

"Something about extra units or whatever."

"Right."

"Isn't Jess in your Trig class? Get her to help you."

"She has been… But let's just say Jessica gets distracted when she's at the cottage."

"Tanya?" I ask, pursing my lips to keep myself from laughing.

"Yes," she says bitterly. I can't stop myself from laughing, which causes Bella to snap her head in my direction. "It's not funny!" she exclaims.

"Yes it is. I can just picture Jessica trying to concentrate while Tanya teases her."

"Don't forget about Jessica getting all flustered because of it. That's usually where I lose her."

"Then Tanya drags her to the bedroom?" I ask mischievously, waggling my eyebrows.

"You would _not_ be laughing if you knew what I go through."

"They're happy, Bella. They're in their own little world."

"Yeah, well, they don't have to go flaunting their relationship around every chance they have," she mutters, folding her arms across her chest.

"Are you _jealous_?" I tease.

"What?" she asks confused.

"Are you jealous of their relationship?"

"No?" she replies, stating the word as a question.

I let out a bellow of a laugh before glancing over at her. Her eyes are once again narrowed. I reach across and gently run the back of my hand across her cheek. She rolls her eyes, the corners of her lips turning up into a smile as I entwine my hand with hers.

"We'll get there eventually," I tell her, squeezing her hand lightly.

"Really?" she asks breathlessly, glancing up at me through her lashes with hope clear in her eyes.

"Well, I'd say we're already halfway there," I reply honestly, smiling softly at her. She returns the gesture before placing her other hand on top of mine and closes her eyes, letting out a content sigh.

* * *

Vicki and Riley are no longer in the hospital. They were deemed fit to go home and surprisingly, the foster home Riley was placed with lives on the same street as Vicki and her mother. They're both an only child so everything worked out perfectly. Even though Vicki is four years older than Riley, those two are always having sleepovers. Vicki has taken Riley under her wing as though he's her real little brother. It's a beautiful thing to see.

When I pull up to Vicki's house, I notice Vicki and Riley playing in the sandpit. Vicki glances up at the sound of mine and Bella's doors closing, a wide grin on her face.

"Bella!" Vicki exclaims, tossing her spade as she runs towards Bella. She flings her arms out in front of her. Bella leans down and catches Vicki in her arms, hugging her tightly before releasing her.

"Hey, Vicki," Bella says sweetly.

"I didn't know you were coming today," says Vicki.

"Neither did I," Bella replies humorously.

"Oh, hi kids. I didn't know what time you were coming," Mrs. Damon greets us as she walks out of the front door, smiling politely at Bella and me.

"Hey, Mrs. Damon," Bella and I reply simultaneously.

"Please. Call me Heidi," she says kindly. I smile politely at her.

"Where are we dowing?" Riley asks, tugging on my shirt and raising his arms, indicating he wants me to pick him up. I reach down and pick him up, placing him on my right hip.

"It's a surprise," I tell him.

"Do you know where we're going?" Vicki asks Bella.

"Victoria, don't go trying to get information out of Bella like that. Your innocence act isn't fooling anyone," Heidi scolds her playfully. Vicki places her hands on her hips and glares at her mother.

"Don't. Call. Me. Victoria," Vicki says, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Sorry, honey. I'm as clueless as you," Bella chimes in, tapping her index finger on Vicki's nose.

"Why do you never tell us where we're going?" Vicki whines, turning to face me. I chuckle lightly as I walk over to her and Bella, placing Riley back down on the ground next to Vicki.

"Because it's more fun that way," I tell her.

"Because he's a_ pain,_" Bella says, grinning mischievously. I roll my eyes before smiling at her.

"Whatever, baby." I smirk at Bella as her eyes go wide. No doubt from me using my old pet name for her. She blushes furiously, biting her bottom lip and smiling sheepishly before breaking our gaze.

"Uh. Yeah, well, should we head off?" she sputters.

"I'll see you guys later. Have fun kids!" Heidi says cheerfully, laughing lightly at Bella's expense.

I chuckle softly, taking Riley's hand in mine and slinging my arm across Bella's shoulders. Vicki takes a hold of Bella's hand. I plant a kiss on Bella's forehead as we walk back to the car.

* * *

I turn west on Highway 110 and park at the Third Beach trailhead. Everyone jumps out of the car and takes something out of the trunk to carry. Since it's the heaviest item, I take the picnic basket. I make Vicki and Riley walk in front of me and Bella, directing them on where to walk and which trails to take.

We walk in silence for a few minutes until Vicki turns into a narrator and fills us in on how school has been for her, Riley chiming in to add that he also goes to the same big school as Vicki and that they always sit together during lunch. Vicki's voice develops a sad tone to it when she tells us about a few girls who bully her sometimes about the scars on her arms and neck. This makes me see red and I would have broken the picnic basket handle if it wasn't for Bella placing her hand in mine and squeezing it lightly.

"That's silly. You're beautiful, Vicki. Don't listen to them," Bella assures her sweetly.

"What are their names?" I ask Vicki, the tone of my voice seeping with rage.

"Why?" she asks hesitantly.

"Because I want to talk to their parents."

"You can't do that! That will just make things worse!" she replies hysterically.

"Well, they can't get away with it," I reply incredulously.

"Edward," Bella addresses me softly. "You can't do anything anyway. You're not a legal guardian."

I glance over at her and she must see the anger on my face because she places her index finger between my eyes and smoothes out my frown, smiling sadly at me. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath before meeting her gaze again, smiling thankfully at her. I quirk my brow at her when she releases my hand. I take her hand back in mine as we continue to hike our way to the falls.

* * *

The trail to the falls begins to turn inland, directing us up Goodman Creek to the high tide line where Goodman Creek can be safely forded. We spot the falls as we walk across a small bridge. Vicki exclaims excitedly before running ahead, Riley following behind her.

"Be careful and watch where you're running!" Bella exclaims worriedly, running after them. A laugh escapes my lips as I shake my head in amusement. It's amazing how fast Bella became attached to the kids.

When I walk around the bend, I see the three of them standing at the railing, astonishment on their faces as they take in the beauty of the waterfalls. Bella turns her head and meets my gaze, her expression filled with elation. She grins and makes her way over to me as I throw the blanket out on the ground so it's up against a big oak tree. She pulls everything out of the basket and places it on top of the blanket. Vicki and Riley stay at the railing and watch all the different kind of birds fly around, the sound of their excitement and laughter traveling over to me as they watch the birds zip through the waterfall.

I lay down on the blanket and place my arms behind my head, closing my eyes as I let out a sigh of content. I feel Bella lay beside me no more than a few seconds later. I turn my head in her direction, opening my right eye to glance at her. She turns to face me and smiles softly. I smile in return before reaching out my right arm to move the hair from out of her eyes and tuck it behind her ear.

"Come here," I say quietly, pulling her arm towards me. She scoots over closer to me and rests her head on my chest as I wrap my arms around her.

"I don't think this is what regular friends do," she says softly.

"How do you know?" I ask playfully, laughing lightly as I continue to play with her hair.

"Oh, you know, it's just a hunch I have," she replies. I feel her lips turn up into a smile against my chest.

"I think we've already established we're a little bit more than _just_ friends."

"Have we? I can't quite recall that conversation."

"You think you're funny, don't you?" I quip, tickling her on the ribs. She thrashes around, giggling hysterically. She sits up and doubles over on her knees, curling in on herself as she tries to escape my grip.

"Stop!" she squeals. "AH! – Edward! Okay! OKAY, I remember!" she exclaims.

I stop tickling her and laugh to myself as she crawls away from me and sits there panting, trying to catch her breath. She begins to glare daggers at me until she finally caves in and laughs with me. She scoots back over to me and smacks her hand down onto my chest for good measure.

"You're evil," she says as she continues to laugh. I smirk at her and shrug my shoulders nonchalantly.

"Edward," Vicki addresses me sternly. I glance at her to see her expression filled with disapproval. "You can't tickle people like that," she adds seriously.

"And why's that?" I ask.

"You tould hurt her," Riley says sadly.

"What?" I ask astonished, laughing lightly.

"You could break her ribs or something," Vicki says. I can't stop myself from laughing. "I'm serious!" she bellows.

"Vicki, honey, I'm fine. It was just a bit of fun," Bella assures her.

"But you were twying," Riley says.

"Yeah," Vicki agrees.

"I wasn't crying because I was sad or in pain. I was crying because I was laughing too hard," declares Bella, pursing her lips to stop herself from laughing.

"Oh," says Vicki, the tone of her voice filled with confusion.

I've completely lost it by this point and can't stop myself from laughing riotously. Bella glances over at me, her demeanour finally breaking as she bursts into laughter with me. Vicki and Riley look at us in confusion for a few seconds before the corners of their mouths turn up into grins and they laugh along with us.

Man, kids come up with some crazy scenarios sometimes.

* * *

After Vicki and Riley finish eating their lunch, they ask if they can go play. I pull the soccer ball out of the back pack Bella carried on our way up.

"Stay where we can see you," I tell Vicki as I hand it to her.

"We will!" she calls over her shoulder as she runs away, Riley hot on her heels.

"So how's life after the talent show? Are you a big star now?" I ask playfully.

"No," she scoffs, rolling her eyes.

I scoot backwards so my back is leaning against the tree and open my arms out to her. She smiles softly before crawling over to me and laying her back against my chest. I wrap my arms around her waist and she rests her hands on top of mine, circling patterns on the back of my hands.

"Well, you should be. Because you were great," I tell her honestly.

"Thanks," she murmurs, laughing softly.

"How'd you record the songs, anyway?"

"Emmett and Jasper helped me with some computer program."

"Oh, so the instruments aren't real?" I ask intrigued.

"The piano is. I'm playing the piano in them."

"Whoa. Really?"

"Yeah."

"When did you learn to play?" I ask curiously.

"I told you I used to have lessons when I was younger, remember?" she asks, laughing softly.

"Oh. Yeah," I murmur.

"Kate helped refresh my memory when I was in California," she says, turning her head sideways to face me and smiles softly. "And do you remember the day you played for me and I sang?" she asks tenderly.

"Yeah."

"The minute you starting playing it made me want to learn it again," she confesses. "I wanted to be able to play something for you one day," she adds quietly.

"You're beautiful," I respond, leaning down and giving her a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"It's the truth," she says, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "Anyway, how's Jacob?" she asks.

"He's good. Still a bit pissy at his dad."

_x.X.x_

_Jacob has been fighting with his dad a lot lately because Charlie spends most of his time at the reservation __–__ which makes shit tense and awkward when Bella and I go down to see Jake; Jacob doesn__'__t understand why his dad is still associating with someone who physically lashed out at his own flesh and blood. _

"_Jacob_, _you shouldn__'__t assume things about people you know nothing about. Charlie has been through a lot in his life," Billy reprimanded him._

"_And what may those things be, huh? What__'__s he been through that would ever make him hit his own child?" Jake asked angrily._

"_It__'__s not my place to say and it__'__s none of your business anyway," Billy chastised._

_This caused Jacob to lose his temper once again._

"_You__'__re crazy_, _old man, do you know that?" Jacob asked incredulously. "Don__'__t ever expect me to be polite and charming towards Charlie whenever he__'__s around," he added angrily before storming out of his house and heading down to his homemade garage._

_Bella was completely gobsmacked by the whole ideal because a) she never even knew Charlie was friends with Billy and b) she never thought Jacob would ever come to her aid like that. Let__'__s just say her opinion of Jacob was completely changed that day and they__'__re now pretty good friends._

_x.X.x_

"Who can blame him?" Bella scoffs, snapping me out of my memory.

"Well, I can understand Billy's point –"

"What?" she asks shocked, cutting me off.

"He's been friends with Charlie for years, Bella. Can you really blame Billy for defending him?"

"Are you serious right now?" she asks astonished, sitting up abruptly and turning around to face me.

"Bella…"

"Do you not remember who Charlie is? What he's done?" she asks sadly.

"Of course I remember. But Billy's never seen that side of him."

"That doesn't give him the right to do what he did!" she exclaims.

"Bella, are you okay?" Vicki asks, concern written all over her face. She's breathing heavily so I can tell she ran over here. Bella glances over at her and smiles softly.

"Yeah. I'm fine, Vicki," Bella says softly.

"Are you sure? Because I looked over at you when I heard you shouting and you looked really upset," she says. "Are you guys fighting?" she asks sadly.

"No, honey. We were just having a heated discussion," Bella assures her.

"So you guys are okay? You're still friends?" Vicki asks hesitantly.

"We're fine, Vicki. You don't have anything to worry about," I tell her. "Look, Riley's waiting for you to go play with him," I add thoughtfully.

"Okay," she says quietly, smiling softly and me and Bella for running back over to Riley.

Bella closes her eyes and lets out a heavy sigh.

"Everyone makes mistakes," I tell her, continuing our conversation.

"He _hit _me, Edward. That's not something that can be forgotten." Her voice breaks and tears start to well up in her eyes.

"I know," I reply soothingly. "Bella, come here," I say softly, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards me. She crawls over and sits on my left side and places her legs over mine, resting her head on my chest as I place my arms on her legs.

"I know I can't really talk because I've made mistakes and done some horrible things that I now have to deal the consequences with," she says. "Especially to you," she murmurs.

"Hey. We're sorting that out, okay? We're getting through it."

"I know. But you say things like 'everyone makes mistakes' and 'everyone deserves a second chance.' It makes me feel horrible because you're giving_ me_ a second chance," she murmurs. "But I can't see myself doing that for Charlie because I just can't see myself forgiving him for what he's done," she adds sadly.

"Sometimes the thoughts that run through your head don't always match how you really feel. You may think you'll never be able to forgive someone but your heart might surprise you."

"Is that how you felt about me?"

"You saw first hand what I was like when you came back."

"Yeah. I know," she mumbles.

"And look at us now," I tell her.

"We're friends," she responds, laughing lightly.

"Friends who are in love," I add, smirking at her.

She glances up to meets my gaze and smiles softly before scooting closer to me and resting her head back on my chest. She closes her eyes and snuggles in closer to me. I can feel the smile on her lips against my chest.

* * *

Bella and I relax together while we watch Vicki and Riley play together. That is, until Vicki steals Bella away and makes her play with her. Riley sits in my lap and we watch Bella try to teach Vicki how to do a cartwheel. You'd think Bella wouldn't be able to handle that kind of coordination being the accident prone klutz she is, but she's surprisingly really good at it. Vicki becomes really excited and asks Bella if there are other things she can do. Bella responds by doing two walkovers in a row. Riley and I begin to laugh quietly together as we watch Bella try to help Vicki attempt a walk over.

Bella ends up kneeling on the ground, clutching Vicki's legs for dear life in her left hand and supporting Vicki's back as she flips over with her right. As Vicki swings her legs over she loses her balance and crashes right into Bella, causing both of them to fall to the ground. Both of them burst into laughter as Riley and I get up and make our way over to them to help them up.

We head home not long after that because the kids look exhausted. I drop the kids back at Vicki's house before dropping Bella home. I walk her to her door and plant a chaste kiss on her cheek. She smiles sheepishly before embracing me in a hug. Bella is still standing in her doorway as I begin to drive away. She gives me a small wave of goodbye before slipping inside.

* * *

When I get home, Alice almost knocks me over when she charges down the stairs towards me.

"Why haven't you been answering your phone?" she exclaims, looking down on me with her hands on her hips as she stands two steps above me.

"Because it's been off all day."

"_Why_ would you turn your phone off?"

"Because Bella and I wanted no distractions while we were with Riley and Vicki."

"Well, I've been trying to call you!"

"Why? What's going on?" I ask hesitantly.

"There's an open Mic night in Port Angeles tonight."

"And?" I probe.

"_And," _she mocks._ "_All of us want to go. I was trying to call you so you could just bring Bella straight here because Jessica and Tanya are going to meet us there," she adds, annoyance clear in her voice.

"Well, shit. Sorry," I respond sarcastically, laughing lightly. "I'll give her a call and tell her about it. I'll just pick her up on the way," I add, rolling my eyes which results in her narrowing her eyes at me. I plant a kiss on her cheek and ruffle up her hair when I walk past her. I jump out of her reach and run the rest of the way up the stairs when she begins to swat at me.

As I make my way back to my room, I stop in to see Jasper again. He's sprawled out on his bed, his eyes closed with music playing softly in the background. He's got all his revision notes packed away and piled neatly on his desk. _Looks like he__'__s done with his studying for the day,_ I think to myself. He sits up abruptly, his eyes snapping open in shock when I jump onto his bed.

"Fucking hell, dude. You scared me half to death!" he says breathlessly as he lays back down. I chuckle to myself which gets me a wack in the face with a pillow.

"How come you're not in your study cocoon?" I tease.

"Alice practically came in and threw herself on me and told me I needed to take a break."

"Ergh, I did not need that visual."

"You asked," he states, laughing. "How was your day?" he adds sincerely.

"Good. Pretty amusing," I reply, a smile forming on my lips. "Bella was teaching Vicki how to do cartwheels and walkovers," I add.

"Oh, dear… How bad did Bella hurt herself?" he jokes.

"She was actually really good it," I respond honestly.

"She didn't fall on her face?" he asks amused.

"The only one who did the falling was Vicki," I say humorously.

"I'm glad things are getting better between you and Bella, man," he says humbly.

"Yeah. Things are getting to the way they used to be before she left."

"That's good."

"Yeah. I mean, everything is finally starting to fall back into place. So it's good, you know?"

"When do you guys think you'll take the next step?" he asks honestly.

"Both of us know where the other stands and I think we're finally on the same page," I run my hands through my hair and meet his gaze. "So fairly soon, I guess?" I add, the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile.

"What about tonight?" he asks.

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Why don't you sing to her? I mean, she's sung to you," he says. "And I know you've composed your own songs about her too," he adds pointedly.

"You think I should?" I ask hesitantly.

"You love her; you want to be with her. It could help warm you guys up to take the next step."

"Okay… But what one should I sing?"

"What about 'Love How It Hurts'?" he suggests.

"I wrote that when she left. We're trying to get past that, so I don't wanna bring it up."

"Have you written any new stuff?" he asks.

"Yeah. I wrote one recently called 'Ghosts'."

"Come on, then, sing me a bit of it," he says.

I climb off his bed and walk over to his closet, grabbing his acoustic guitar out and head back over to him. I sit back down on his bed and play a few chords to make sure it's in tune. Jasper gives me a pointed look and quirks his brow as if to say, 'did you seriously think it wouldn't be in tune?' I roll my eyes, shaking my head in silent amusement before I begin to play the first chords of the chorus. I sing the chorus softly and glance up at him when I'm done.

"You definitely need to sing that," he says encouragingly, the corners of his mouth turning up into a grin.

* * *

I call Bella as soon as I get into my room and tell her about the open Mic night at Port Angeles. She says she doesn't know if she'll get up and sing, but she's really excited about seeing me perform. I tell her I'll pick her up around 6:00 PM because it takes just over an hour to get there and you have to put your name down before 7:30 PM.

I have a shower to wash away all the sweat and grime I collected from the hike and shenanigans that occupied my day. I stretch out my muscles as the water cascades down my back, releasing all the tension in my body. By the time I get out of the shower, it's five o'clock. I put on a clean pair of briefs before slipping on my black jeans and throwing on my navy blue button down shirt and leather jacket. I grab my guitar, putting it in its case and placing it on my bed.

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett have already left. I call Alice and ask her what they're doing for dinner. She says they're calling into a restaurant to have dinner together and didn't know whether to invite me and Bella along because they didn't want it to seem like a triple date or something. She says the venue will have food there so Bella and I can get food when we get there or we can go out to a restaurant by ourselves like Tanya and Jessica are doing. I let out a hefty sigh before telling her we'll just get dinner where the open Mic is.

When I was spending the day with Bella today, I noticed that she was wearing a Pandora bracelet. I go to my desk and pull out the box of the charms my mother left me after she passed away. Bella already has a treble clef, the letter B and a Bell from her friends in California. I pull the diamond heart charm out of the box and place it in a little jewelry gift bag before slipping it into my pocket.

I call Bella and let her know I'm on my way. I tell her how everyone left before us and have all gone out to dinner. She tells me she already knew though because Alice rang her and apologized. I tell her we can either go out for dinner before going to the diner or we can just grab something to eat when we get there. She decides on the latter. When I arrive at the cottage, I walk to the door and knock on it softly. Bella swings it open almost instantly before stepping out. She's wearing a short sleeve light blue dress that buttons up to her chest, a bow situated at the middle of the collar and aqua heels.

"You look beautiful," I tell her.

"Thanks," she murmurs softly.

I smile politely at her and plant a kiss on her cheek. I entwine her hand with mine and lead her to my car, opening the car door for her. We drive to Port Angeles in a comfortable silence, occasionally conversing with each other.

"What song are you going to sing?" she asks curiously.

"I'm not telling you anything," I reply chuckling lightly.

"Why not?" she whines.

"Because."

"Please?"

"No."

"Ed-ward," she whines. "Just tell me. Pleeeeeease," she pleads, batting her lashes and pouting at me. I smirk at her, shaking my head with amusement.

"You can wait," I tell her.

"You suck," she mumbles, sitting back in her seat and letting out a huff of frustration. I reach out and entwine my hand with hers, bringing it up to my lips and placing a kiss on her palm. She glances over at me and quirks her brow.

"No fair. Stop trying to charm me."

"What do you mean stop _trying_?"

"I hate you."

"No you don't," I respond, laughing lightly. She shakes her head at me, rolling her eyes as the corners of her mouth begin to turn up into a smile.

* * *

Everyone's already at the diner when Bella and I arrive. We head over to the sign up table and write down my name on the sheet. I'm number four on the list. Bella and I walk over to the food counter and order our dinner. The woman behind the counter hands us a little metal stand with a number on the top. I entwine my hand with Bella's as we walk over to our table.

"Hey guys," Alice greets us cheerfully, a grin forming on her face when she glances down at our entwined hands.

"Hey," Bella and I reply simultaneously. I roll my eyes at her.

"About time you two showed up," Rose complains.

"Well, excuse us. Who are the ones who left without us?" I retort.

"Who were the ones that left their phones off all day?" Alice states.

"Whatever, it's called having privacy," I reply.

"Anyway," Tanya chimes in. "Who's going up tonight?" she asks, looking over at Bella.

"Oh, hell no. I'm not getting up there," Bella says.

"Why not? You rocked the talent show," Jess says.

"Because I'm quite happy sitting back and watching this round," she replies.

"Are you gonna sing, Edward?" Tanya asks.

"Yeah."

"Oh. What are you singing?" Alice exclaims.

"You can wait and find out," I tell her.

"It's gonna be great, though," Jasper says.

"Why does he know?" Alice whines.

"Because I told him to sing in the first place," Jasper replies.

"Baby, just tell me," Alice pleads with him, pressing her body closer to him and pouting her lips. He gives her his lopsided smile and I know he's nearly done for.

"Don't you even think about it, Jazz," I tell him seriously. He glances over at me and smiles apologetically.

"Sorry, man, I can't help it," he says.

"Be strong, dude," Emmett chuckles, patting Jasper on the shoulder. Rose punches Emmett in the arm.

"Ow! What was that for?" he asks incredulously.

"Do you know as well?" she asks annoyed.

"No!" he complains.

"Oh. Well, sorry," she replies, rubbing his arm before kissing him on the lips. He grabs her by the hip and pulls her closer to him, returning her kiss passionately.

"Gross. Get a room, guys," Jess complains.

"I concur," Tanya adds.

"You two can't talk," Bella says, laughing lightly.

"Hey, at least we do it at home. Behind closed doors," Tanya says.

"Not all the time," Bella mumbles.

I chuckle to myself as I sit down on one of the stools, my hand still entwined with Bella's. She closes the distance between us and leans her back against my chest. I wrap my free arm around her waist and pull her closer to me, lifting our entwined hands and kissing her fingers. She turns her head to look me in the eyes. I smile softly at her just as she leans forward and kisses me on the cheek before breaking our gaze and conversing with the rest of the gang again.

The night flies by pretty quickly. When the waitress brings our dinner to our table, Bella and I eat while still conversing with everyone. There was a girl a few years older than us that sang a few songs up on stage. Apparently the open Mic night is a competition as well as a charity event. A few of the employees will walk around the place with a bucket for people to make donations in while someone performs and whoever pulls in the most donations wins.

"Edward Cullen, you're up." My head snaps up to the stage at the mention of my name.

When I played the song for Jasper, I did it with my acoustic guitar. I'd actually written the song with the melody coming from a piano and drum set. I asked Jasper if he would get up on stage and play the drum melody while I play the piano. He said he'd do it so we practiced for a few hours before we had to leave. We didn't have much time, but Jasper is a fast learner and I already know the piano melody by heart. I meet Jasper's gaze, nodding my head in the direction of the stage. He stands, a grin on his face.

"Good luck," Bella whispers. I look at her to see she has an encouraging grin on her face. I smile politely at her before kissing her on the cheek.

"Yaaay, go Edward!"

"Hoo-Hoo-Hoo!"

"Come on, Eddieeee!" Tanya, Emmett and Jessica cheer simultaneously. I shake my head in amusement as I make my way to the stage.

"Wait, why is Jasper going up?" Alice asks confused.

Jasper and I walk up to the stage, pulling the piano out from behind the black curtain. I hear everyone's intake of breath at the shock of someone playing a piano. Once the piano is in place, Jasper goes and sits behind the drum kit. He hits the pallets a few times to make sure everything is in tune. I do the same with the piano. Once everything is in check, I adjust the microphone and speak into it.

"Uh, hi, my name is Edward Cullen and behind me is my brother, Jasper. We'll be playing an original song that I wrote for a special someone."

I glance over at Jasper and nod my head slightly, giving him the signal that I'm about to start. He grins in return.

I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I close my eyes and press my fingers down on the keys, playing the first notes of the song before singing.

"_This conversation is moving faster than I thought it would." _Jasper starts the drum beat._ "An indication, something I thought I'd lost long ago." _

I lose myself in the song as I sing the second lines of the first verse.I glance at Jasper to see that he's putting every bit of concentration into his parts of the melody. He's doing a really great job considering we only practiced for literally three hours. I look back into the crowd, my eyes automatically locking with Bella's before I begin the chorus.

"_Cause I don't want to feel without you, so tell me you believe in this too. Hide with all the ghosts in your bedroom, they will keep you awake. We can esca__…__pe, esca__…__pe. We can escape." _

The corners of her mouth turn up into a smile as she watches me sing to her. I can see the love and pride radiating in her gaze. I smile back at her, keeping my eyes on her as I begin to sing the second verse.

_"__This conversation is moving faster than I thought it could. I'm chasing shadows as they surround you in this empty room_." Her eyes go wide at the hidden meaning of the lyrics. "_It's just like running a maze; you never know what you can find, tonight. But as we're here now, every-thing in me, wants to try."_

I smirk at her as I repeat the chorus. I close my eyes and put everything I can into the melody as well as the lyrics. I know Bella and I have been through a whole lot of shit together and we still have a few things to work out, but I hope this song helps her grasp how much she really means to me and how much I still love her.

_"__When I was younger I would dream of this moment, and how I thought it would never come. Now we're older, I will dream of this moment, the city puts a ghost in us." _I sway from side to side, leaning over the keys and not missing a beat while I carry on with the song.

"_We could chase this feeling, but I just want you..." _I snap my eyes open and look straight into Bella's eyes again._"__Because I don't want to feel without you, so tell me you believe in this too. Hide with all the ghosts in your bedroom; they will keep you awake...__"_

Jasper and I stop playing, creating a freeze in the melody before starting up again.

"_We can esca__…__pe, esca__…__pe. We can esca__…__pe, esca__…__pe," _I sing the same phrase repeatedly before heading straight into the bridge again. Bella's doesn't break our gaze as her eyes well up with tears and her lips turn up into a smile again.

_"__And now we're older I will dream of this moment, the city puts a ghost in us. We can escape."_

Bella's soft smile breaks into a full blown grin when Jasper and I stand after finishing the song. Everyone in the crowd is cheering and shouting with praise. Jasper and I walk back down to our table. Alice runs into Jasper arms and kisses him passionately.

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to help him?" she exclaims, a grin on her face and her expression filled with love.

"It was a surprise," he replies, shrugging nonchalantly.

When I finally make my way to Bella, she closes the distance between us and wraps her arms around my waist. I hold her close to me, kissing her lightly on the top of her head.

"That was amazing," she says softly, leaning her head back to look up at me. "When did you write that?"

"Fairly recently."

"It was beautiful. Whoever it's about is a pretty lucky person you feel that way," she jokes.

"Yeah. She's pretty beautiful herself."

"Is that right, huh?"

"Mhm," I chuckle, resting my forehead against hers and smiling softly at her. She grins back, laughing softly before resting her head on my chest and hugging me close to her again. I lead us to one of the sofas that are next to our table, pulling her down next to me. She snuggles in close to me and rests her head on my shoulder as we watch the other people perform. I see Bella begin to yawn and her eyes drooping with tiredness.

"Do you want to head home?" I ask softly. Another yawn escapes her lips as she shakes her head.

"No, no. Let's stay until the end; there aren't many more people to perform."

"Okay," I reply nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders. She scoots down lower and rests her head on my chest as we watch the last few people perform.

When everyone has finished performing, the owner of the diner gets up on stage and pulls out the 10 buckets of donations. Each bucket has a contestants name on it. Mine's in the middle. The woman begins to pull out the money, counting it with her assistant and writing the amount down on a sheet of paper before placing it into one bigger bucket. The lady walks up to the microphone at the front of the stage with her clipboard and begins with third place.

"In third place, with raising fifty five dollars is, Maia Anderson." Everyone erupts into applause as a short, slim, blonde girl walks up on stage and accepts a gift voucher. She thanks everyone before walking back to her crowd of friends.

"In second place, with raising seventy dollars is, Adrian Read." Again, everyone erupts into applause. I don't remember seeing him perform. He must have been on before Bella and I arrived.

"He was really good," says Tanya.

"What did he sing?" Bella asks curiously.

"He sang some 'One Republic' song," Jessica says.

"No way as good as Edward, though," Alice says.

"There's no way I'm going to win, Alice," I respond, laughing lightly.

"Don't be so modest, Edward. You were _really_ good," Rosalie says quietly, my eyes go wide with shock at her compliment.

"And in first place…" says the lady, catching our attention again. "With raising one hundred and ten dollars…" she keeps us hanging on for a while until someone shouts out to 'get on with it.'

"Is Edward Cullen!" she announces.

Everyone around me shouts and cheers, someone; who is most likely Emmett, slaps me on the back as I sit there in shock. No way did I just win, let alone raise one hundred and ten dollars. Bella places her hand on my arm, causing me to look at her. She has a grin on her face and her eyes are filled with pride.

"Go," she whispers before kissing me on the cheek. I snap out of my stupor and stumble my way up to the stage.

"Your song was really beautiful. Did you write that yourself?" The lady asks, giving me a kiss on the cheek before handing me a small trophy and a fifty dollar gift card to a music store.

"Uh, thanks. Yeah."

"Is the lucky lady here with you tonight?" she asks softly, peering into the crowd. The corners of my mouth turn up into a grin as I lock eyes with Bella.

"Yeah. She's just there," I reply, pointing to Bella. Bella smiles sheepishly and gives me a small wave, the blush rushing into her cheeks.

"Well, congratulations," the lady says politely, smiling softly at me. I return the gesture before walking back down to Bella and everyone else.

We head home almost straight away, after a few of the other contestants come up and congratulate me and tell me they thought my song was beautiful. Bella says goodbye to the girls, and Jasper and Emmett before walking back up to me. I entwine my hand with hers, leading her outside to the Volvo. I open the passenger side door for her before walking around to the drivers seat and pull out of the drive way. I glance at Bella to see her eyes beginning to flutter close once again. I lay my arm across her shoulders and pull her close to me. She rests her head on my shoulder and closes her eyes, another yawn escaping her lips.

I play with her hair as she sleeps the whole way home. I pull up to her cottage and park the car, opening my door and walking around to the passenger side. I open her door quietly, crouching down in front of her and kiss her lightly on the temple. She stirs awake, smiling sheepishly as she glances down at me.

"Hey, sleepyhead," I greet her, smiling softly.

"Did I sleep the whole way home?" she asks, her voice thick with sleep.

"Yeah," I reply, laughing lightly.

"I'm sorry," she groans.

"It's okay, you were pretty tired," I assure her, brushing the hair out of her face. She unbuckles her seatbelt and stands out of the car. I walk her to her front door.

"I have something for you," I tell her, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a little jewelry box. Her eyes go wide with shock as I take her hand in mine and place it in her palm. She opens it gingerly, her free hand flying to her mouth in shock.

"Edward… It's beautiful," she says softly.

"I noticed you had a charm bracelet so I wanted to give you something from me to add to it. This was my mothers; she left a whole bunch of them to me after she passed."

"Oh." She says shocked. "Edward, I can't take this…"

"You can. I want you to have it. I know we've been through a lot and we still have a fair bit to get through. But I love you and I want us to get back on track."

"What do you mean?" she asks hesitantly, hope clear in her eyes.

"I'm ready to go that extra step in our relationship. If that's what you want too."

"I'm still not sure I'm following," she says confused.

"Bella," I say, laughing lightly as I cup her face in my hands. "I'm saying I'm ready to hear your reasons for leaving because I want to be with you."

"You want to be with me? As in you want us to be boyfriend and girlfriend again?" she asks breathlessly.

"That's exactly what I'm saying," I say before crushing my lips to hers, she kisses me back passionately, wrapping her arms around my neck as I slip my arms around her waist and pull her closer to me. I keep her face in my hands, my eyes locking with hers when we break apart.

"I love you so much," she whispers, closing her eyes. I kiss her softly on the lips again before resting my forehead against hers.

"I love you too."

"Thank you," she says, her eyes snapping open.

"For what?" I ask amused.

"For loving me, for not giving up on me, for wanting to listen to me… For everything," she says softly, her voice thick with emotion and her eyes filling with tears. I wipe them away with thumbs and smile softly at her.

"I told you all I needed was time." She smiles softly as I kiss her on the cheek. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her face against my chest. I plant a kiss on the top of her head before she pulls out of the embrace.

"Come over tomorrow?" I ask.

"Okay," she replies. "So we can talk?" she asks softly.

"Yeah." I smirk at her and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "You should go get some sleep."

"Okay. I'll text you when I'm on my way over," she replies.

I lean forward and kiss her chastely, and she smiles against my lips.

I glance over my shoulder as I walk back to my car. Bella is leaning against her front door. She smiles softly at me as I climb into my car. When I pull out of her driveway, she gives me a small wave of goodbye.

I have a grin on my face the whole way home.

* * *

**Hey, guys. I know it's late and I'm really sorry, but I've just been so busy with work and I've had no time to update. I'm still working on Chapter 38, so that will most likely be posted late as well.**

**Thank you all for your continuous support and kind words about this story. It really means a lot to me. I never thought I'd get so much positivity for this, that I've been getting. It really warms my heart. **

**Thank you for adding this story to your alerts and favourites and for reviewing. When I see them notifications in my Inbox it always puts a smile on my face. **

**Thank you to my amazing Beta, Jenndur. As I'm sure, without her, this story would be insanely annoying to read.**

**natalee-x**


	38. Reconnecting

_**Chapter Thirty Eight **__**–**__(Reconnecting)_

**EPOV**

* * *

It's crazy how much things can change within a few months. When Bella first came back, I was so angry at her that I couldn't bare to be in the same room as her. Every day she was gone, her presence haunted me; my heart broke every day and I suffered the taunts of my classmates. I resented her defection.

It's never what I intended; I always swore to myself that I'd never fall apart. Everyone always thought I was stronger than the way I was acting. So I may have failed in their eyes, but it's no lie that I've loved Bella from the start.

I eventually began to learn how to accept the loss I felt deep inside myself and moved on by involving myself in befriending and helping Vicki and Riley. In the end, it all shaped me into the person I've become today. But even after all of that, when Bella came back, all those negative thoughts and feelings came rushing back to me. The resentment and anger I felt towards her began to creep back inside me, causing me to do and say some really horrible things to her. I never meant to hurt her or cause her so much pain. There's no excuse to why I reacted the way I did, but all I could think about at the time was how much she had hurt me.

If I could undo everything I did, I'd give away everything that I own for things to go back to the way they used to be before all of the drama hit the fan. The best thing about Bella, though, is that she's taken me for who I am, and not for what I've done. She's kept her heart and soul open to me, and I'm so glad I've finally gotten through all the pain she caused me, so I can do the same for her.

There was always apart of me that gravitated towards her. I've always loved her; that's never changed. And the night of the talent show was the night that I fell for Bella all over again. That night, I knew there was no way I'd change my mind about wanting to be with her again.

* * *

I drag myself out of bed and into the shower. I rest my head against the cool tiles as the hot water cascades down my back and loosens my muscles. I lather up the loofa with soap and scrub my body clean. I scrub my hair with the towel in an attempt to dry it before wrapping the towel around my waist and heading into my room to find something clean to wear. As I pull my briefs out of my bedside draw, I notice the little light on my phone blinking rapidly, signalling that I have a text message. A smile forms on my lips as a chuckle escaping me as I read the text from Bella.

**HEY, HOTTIE. WHAT****'****RE YOU DOING?**

Bella and I have fallen back into our old ways of mucking around together and calling each other random pet names. I type in a quick reply that will no doubt make her blush.

JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER ;) YOU?

**SO YOU****'****RE NEKKED? NICE. HAHA.**

BET YOU WISH YOU WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, HUH? :P

**YOU****'****RE SUCH A TEASE.**

I can't stop myself from laughing as I read her reply.

YOU LOVE IT.

I place my phone back on the dressing table after texting her back. I continue to get dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a plain T. My phone lets off another beep with Bella's reply.

**SERIOUSLY, THOUGH. I****'****LL BE OVER IN HALF AN HOUR (:**

GOOD.

**I HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH ALICE TOO, THOUGH. SHE****'****LL KILL ME IF I DON****'****T.**

I let out a groan of annoyance before typing my reply.

SCREW ALICE, YOU'RE MINE TODAY.

**I HAVE TO AT LEAST SEE HER FOR A LITTLE BIT.**

FINE :(

**I LOVE YOU. X**

I LOVE YOU TOO. SEE YOU SOON.

After Bella and I finish texting each other, I head up to Alice's room to let her know how annoyed I am about her being too insistent on spending time with Bella.

"Hey, I didn't even know she was coming over!"

"So? You're her over-energetic best friend; she's afraid of you."

"She is not afraid of me," she says, narrowing her eyes at me.

"Okay, she's not. But she doesn't like making you mad, so she's insisting on spending time with you," I complain.

"Jealous, much?"

"Whatever, Alice. Bella and I are finally going to talk."

"_The_ talk? As in, why she left?" she asks softly.

"Yeah."

"Whoa. Okay, good. I'll keep my time with her to a minimum then," she says sincerely.

"Thanks, Alicat," I reply, smiling gratefully at her before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm so glad you two are working things out."

"Yeah. Me too," I reply honestly, a smile forming on my lips. "I'm gonna go have some breakfast. I'll send Bella up when she gets here."

"Okay, thanks. I'll see you later," she replies, smiling kindly at me. I return the gesture before walking out of her room and heading back downstairs.

Esme is in the kitchen when I enter.

"Good morning, honey. Do you want some cereal?" she asks as she walks back to the fridge.

"Yeah, thanks."

I sit down on one of the stools as she flutters around the kitchen, pulling out a bowl, a spoon and the cereal. She pours it into the bowl, applying the milk straight afterward before walking over and placing it in front of me. She smiles affectionately at me before kissing me on the cheek.

"What are your plans for today?" she asks.

"Just gonna hang out with Bella after she sees Alice."

"Oh?" she says surprised, "You two seem to be working things out. Alice told me about you singing to Bella last night. That was very sweet."

"Uh, thanks. We're um, gonna talk about a few more things today."

"Oh, Edward. Are you letting her explain why she left?" she asks softly, her eyes filled with so much emotion.

"That's the plan," I murmur.

"Oh, honey. I'm so proud of you. I know how much you were hurt after she left and then when she came back. But I know that you two belong together."

"Thanks, Mom." I sit there in shock for a few seconds as I realize what I just called her. Esme's eyes go wide, matching my shock before her eyes well up with tears. I smile softly at her as she closes the distance between us and envelops me in a tight hug. I wind my arms around her waist and hug her back just as tightly.

"You're such a sweetheart," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

The door bell rings, pulling us out of our moment. Esme smiles at me, amusement clear on her face as my head snaps toward the front door. I climb off the stool and race over to the door, opening it as wide as it will go. Bella looks shocked for a split second before she smiles sheepishly. I smile back and step aside to let her in. Anyone watching us at this moment would think we were freaks, standing here staring at each other.

"Hey," I greet her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hey," she replies softly, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around my waist. I plant a kiss on the top of her head and place my hands on her lower back, pulling her closer to me.

She tilts her head so she's looking up at me. I smile at her and she smiles in return. We don't say anything more; we stand there holding each other in a content silence.

That is, until Alice comes barging down the stairs.

"Bella!" she exclaims.

Bella smiles apologetically at me as she pulls out of our embrace.

"Hey, Alice," she replies kindly.

"What do you want to do today?" Alice asks as she skips the rest of the way over to us.

"Oh, I don't know? Whatever you want."

"Well, I'm kind of pretty busy, actually," Alice says, glancing at me and giving me a knowing look before facing Bella again. "But I really want to talk to you, so…"

"Oh. That's okay," Bella replies hesitantly before glancing at me, conflicted emotions written all over her face.

"Go," I tell her, laughing lightly. "I'll see you later," I add, kissing her lightly on the lips as Alice winds her arm through Bella's and leads her away from me and upstairs to her room.

* * *

I play the piano to try and kill the time while Alice and Bella spend their time together. I begin to compose a few more songs – all inspired by Bella of course – until I eventually give up and go back up to my room. I put in my Kings of Leon CD before grabbing my homework and sprawling it out across my bed. I complete my English essay and History revision, deeming that's enough progression to placate me. I pack it all away into my book bag so it's ready for school the next day.

I lay down on my bed, pulling my phone out of my pocket, typing up a text to Bella.

ARE YOU TWO DONE YET?

**GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT. **

I let out a groan of frustration before sending a text to Alice as well.

HURRY UP AND GIVE ME BELLA BACK.

I get an instant reply, but not from Alice.

**HEY! NO TEXTING ALICE, WE****'****LL JUST MAKE YOU WAIT LONGER.**

My phone beeps again. I open up the new text. It's from Alice.

_WHAT SHE SAID, BUTTFACE. HAHAHA!_

I breathe a heavy sigh, ignoring Alice and replying to Bella.

YOU. ARE. EVIL.

A few seconds later, Alice texts me again.

_CALM DOWN. SHE__'__S ON HER WAY OVER TO YOU NOW, GRUMPY._

There's a knock on my door just as I finish reading the text. I send Alice back a reply of thanks just as Bella opens the door and pops her head around the corner, a grin on her face. I grin at her as she makes her way over to me and climbs onto my bed, laying down next to me and resting her head on my chest. I wind my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me.

"It's about time," I murmur. I feel her body shake slightly as she laughs softly to herself.

"You're so impatient."

"Excuse me for wanting to spend time with my girlfriend."

Bella sits up slowly, tilting her head to look me in the eye. I can tell by the look on her face that I've taken her by surprise. I smirk at her as her gaze locks with mine. She bites her bottom lip before smiling softly.

"So, I'm your girlfriend now, huh?"

"If you still want me," I tell her, my lips curving up into a smirk.

"I'll always want you," she murmurs softly. "I know it mustn't have seemed like it, especially after what I did to you. But it's true." She glances up at me and smiles sadly.

"So you knew you were eventually gonna come back?"

"I think, subconsciously I did."

"Why did you leave?" I ask, entwining our hands together.

Bella takes a deep breath before jumping into story mode and explaining her past to me and why she left the way she did. My jaw drops open in shock as I take a few minutes to take in what she's said. I had a feeling everything she did had something to do with her mother. I know what it's like to lose your mom – even if it happened to me by death and not by abandonment – but it's still got to hurt just as bad.

"Wait, so she just left without even telling you and never contacted you again?" I ask after composing myself.

"Yeah," she says sadly. "I mean, she's replied to my letters now and she said she left because she didn't want me to see the way she would become–"

"What does that even mean?" I ask confused, cutting her off.

"I don't know," she mumbles. "She said she wants to explain everything in person."

I can't believe any mother could just up and leave the way she did, leaving her thirteen year old daughter to fend for herself. Well, I guess Bella had Charlie, but look how that turned out. Bella's mom obviously didn't think about how her leaving would impact on Charlie and Bella. Charlie turned into a drunk and emotionally wore down Bella until she felt worthless.

After the shock wears off, Bella continues talking. Bella became so horribly depressed that she isolated herself from everyone, including her best friend at the time, Jessica. Bella explains that because she felt like her mother leaving was her fault, and because of all the horrible things Charlie constantly said to her, she didn't want to be near anyone and ruin their lives as well. This eventually caused Jessica to give up trying to reach out to Bella. Bella hated treating Jessica the way she did – cancelling on plans, not calling her back, and avoiding her at school – she believed she had to stop being friends with Jessica all together to stop hurting her.

Then when my family and I came along, Bella actually started to feel normal again. Alice never gave up on trying to befriend her, which made Bella feel cared about for the first time in a very long time. Then when I started showing interest in her and after we began dating, she started to feel wanted and important again. She explains to me that on Thanksgiving – when I finally told her I loved her – I said a lot of similar things that her mother said to her just before she abandoned her, which made her freak out. All she could think about was that she was finally happy again and she couldn't bare the thought of me leaving her like her mom did.

So she did the only thing she thought she could – she left me.

"I know what happened with your mom was horrible, Bella. But don't you see that you only did the same thing to me that she did to you?" I ask softly. "You just took off with no explanation at all and didn't contact me for weeks," I add.

"I know that now, I just didn't think at the time. All I was focused on was not letting myself get hurt again. My trust in people was at an all time low when I met you, but I took a chance and let you in." Tears fall down her face as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Keep going," I say softly, cupping her cheek in my hand and placing a kiss on her forehead. She opens her eyes to meet my gaze before continuing.

"I left because I couldn't bare the thought of you ever leaving me–"

"Why didn't you just come to me and tell me how you were feeling? I would have never have left you," I tell her, cutting her off.

"I was scared, Edward. I did the only thing I thought I could live with," she says sadly. "I thought it would have been easier if I left you, but it wasn't easy at all. I missed you every day and I wanted to come back sooner, but I knew you would hate me for what I did because I knew how you would have been feeling." She takes another deep breath and wipes her cheeks as tears continue to form in her eyes.

"If you knew how I was feeling, why didn't you call or write to me sooner? Or leave a return address so I could reply to you?"

"I was still working on my issues at the time. Writing you that letter was a part of getting myself back on track," she says softly. "Tanya told me that I'll never get better if I don't face the mistakes I've made and that I should write to you, especially because I did you what my mom did to me."

I tuck a stand of hair behind her ear and cup her face in my hands. "So writing to me is what made you want to come back?" I ask confused. She laughs lightly and smiles softly at me.

"It was part of the reason. When Tanya said that to me, it made a lot of things fall into place for me and that's why I came back when I did. I couldn't bare the thought of putting you through what my mom put me through. I hated myself for doing that to you."

"So you came back to explain yourself?" I ask. "But I didn't let you," I add before she can answer.

"Yeah," she smiles sadly before biting her bottom lip and meeting my gaze. "When I was on my way back, a part of me selfishly hoped that you didn't really mean it when you said you loved me. That way you wouldn't have been hurt about me leaving, even if that meant my heart getting broken in the process."

"Fuck, Bella. I'm so sorry I didn't listen to you when you first got here. I was just hurt and filled with so much rage. I got used to you not being here and then you turned up out of no where. I'd hate to think that you thought I didn't love you because of the way I was treating you, because I did love you," I reply honestly. "I _do_ love you," I correct myself.

"It doesn't matter, Edward. I deserved everything I got from you. And at the end of the day, I'd rather be the one hurting rather than be the cause of your pain."

"Bella, you can't think like that."

"I know, but I shouldn't have done what I did to you. I'll never do anything like that ever again; my head is in a much better place now. I know my mom leaving wasn't my fault, and Charlie is just a drunk who chose the closest person to him to blame." The tone of her voice turns to sadness as she speaks of her mom and dad. "But it doesn't excuse what I did and I understand that things are never going to be the same."

"I understand why you did it – I just wish that you came to me instead of running off."

"I know. I'm sorry," she says quietly. "I never stopped thinking about you when I was gone. I never stopped loving you."

"I never stopped loving you either," I reply honestly, brushing her cheek lightly with the back of my hand.

"I wouldn't have blamed you if you did, though–"

"Bella…"

"No, listen. Please?" she pleads. "I'm just saying, I know I hurt you terribly and you had every right not to accept me back into your life, but you have. I can't begin to explain how much that means to me. How much _you _mean to me. I've never felt this way about anyone before in my life. I've never had anyone care about me as much as you do. You're good for me, Edward. You make me a better person and I'll be grateful for you coming into my life, for the rest of my existence." She lets out a shaky breath before smiling softly at me.

"I couldn't stop loving you if I tried," I cup her face in my hands and rest my forehead against hers. "I need you to know that everything that has happened between us has made me a stronger and better person. I know we've been through a lot and you did hurt me, but all of that has shaped me into the man I am today."

I pull her face away from mine as I feel the tears fall down her cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumbs before removing my hands from her face and pulling her closer to me. She crawls her way up to me and sits on my lap, looking up at me through her lashes. I smile at her lightly before brushing the hair out of her face and placing it behind her ear. I leave my palm resting against her cheek. She closes her eyes at my touch and leans into my hand, letting out a content sigh. I lean forward and kiss her lightly on the lips. She opens her eyes, gracing me with a sheepish smile as the blush runs into her cheeks.

"So, what happens with us now?" she asks softly.

"I want to be with you. I know it's going to take a while until we're back to normal, but I'm willing to try."

I unwind our hands and move up the bed, leaning back against the headboard. I hold out my hand to her, she takes it and crawls the rest of the way up the bed. She sits sideways in between my legs, laying her legs across mine and leaning into my chest. I wrap my arms around her before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"We'll take everything one step at a time," I tell her.

"Okay," she replies. "Edward?" she addresses me softly.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," she says.

The corners of my mouth turn up into a smile. "I love you too," I reply. "I've missed you. I forgot how much I love having you in my arms," I tell her.

"I've missed you too," she replies, snuggling closer to me and tilting her head back to look me in the eyes. I lean forward until my lips connect with hers. She passionately kisses me back, running her hands up my chest and wraps her arms around my neck. I wind my arms around her waist and pull her on top of me.

I hear footsteps making their way to my room before the door swings open and Alice waltzes in.

"Hey guys, I just wanted to – OH MY GOD!" she exclaims, cutting herself off in excitement just as Bella and I abruptly break apart and glance over at her. "_Finally!_" she squeals, grinning from ear to ear and clapping her hands as she jumps up and down.

"What do you want?" I ask annoyed, raising my brow, waiting for her to explain what's so important.

"Never mind, it doesn't matter. I'll see you guys later," she says, a grin still plastered on her face as she rushes out of the room.

"God, how embarrassing," Bella mumbles, her cheeks flushing scarlet as she buries her face in my chest.

"I wouldn't have suspected anything else from Alice."

"Neither would I, but it's still humiliating!"

"Is making out with me really that embarrassing?" I ask, mock hurt.

"Making out with you is just fine. It's the getting caught part that's embarrassing."

"Only just fine, huh?"

"You know what I mean," she replies, rolling her eyes.

"Why is it embarrassing?" I ask, laughing lightly.

"Because I zone out and don't take notice of anything around me when you kiss me! I could be doing anything without even realizing it!" she says hysterically, causing me to chuckle with amusement.

"I wouldn't let you embarrass yourself, love."

"As if you'd even notice," she scoffs.

"I have great concentration thank-you-very-much."

"Mhm. Sure, sure."

"Unlike you, I can multitask," I joke, winking at her.

"Is that right?" she asks, sitting up to straddle me. "What if I do this?" she asks, running her hands under my shirt. "And this," she says, leaning forward and flicking her tongue onto my neck before kissing me there. "Or this?" she questions, running her hands into my hair and placing her lips against mine. I begin to kiss her back, but she pulls away and bites my bottom lip softly, causing me to let out a moan. She kisses me on the lips again before abruptly pulling away.

"Told ya," she says, climbing off of me.

"Where do you think you're going?" I retort, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her back to me.

"I think I've proved my point," she says, letting out a giggle as she tries to escape.

"Such a tease," I quip. "But I'm not ready to stop yet."

"Oh?" she asks breathlessly.

"Uh-uh," I reply, flipping us over so I'm laying on top of her. I trail kisses across her collarbone, up her neck and along her jaw line, until my lips finally meet hers again. She winds her hands into my hair and pulls me closer to deepen the kiss.

The bed begins to shake as someone – which could only be Emmett – stampedes down the hallway toward my bedroom. Bella glances up at me, over to the door and then back to me with horror written all over her face. I let out an exasperated sigh, my body lightly slumping on top of Bella's as I rest my forehead in the crook of her neck. The door swings open furiously, and Emmett barges inside.

"Well, I'll be damned, the pixie was right!" he hollers, a gigantic grin on his face. "It's about fucking time!" he adds just as Alice runs in after him.

"Oh my god, you guys. I'm so sorry!" she exclaims, her expression filled with dismay. "I told him not to come and make a scene, but he just didn't believe me when I said you two were back together!" she adds hysterically.

"Why'd you even say _anything_?" Bella asks softly.

"I couldn't help myself."

"Of course you couldn't," I murmur.

"Emmett! Where the fuck have you gone?" Rosalie shouts from down the hall. "I swear to God, if you've gone anywhere near Bella and Edward…" she adds, her voice becoming more prominent as she makes her way to us.

Emmett's body goes rigid, the expression on his face covered with apprehension.

"Suck shit, asshole," I taunt. He flips me off just as Rosalie walks into my room.

"Jesus Christ, seriously Emmett?" she says, her voice thick with annoyance. She walks over to him and slaps him on the back of the head. "When are you ever going to grow up?" she asks.

"Was that really necessary?" he grumbles, rubbing the spot where she hit him.

"Yes," she answers, narrowing her eyes at him. "Was barging in here like in immature child necessary?" she asks, placing her hands on her hips.

"I was just kidding around," Emmett defends.

"My point exactly," she replies, sighing heavily. "I love you, but you never think before you act. You could have shit stirred them later, instead of coming in here and completely embarrassing Bella."

"But I love making her blush," he teases.

"Oh, for crying out loud. Can we please just leave?" Alice asks.

"Yes, please do," I say, rolling off of Bella and laying on my side. Bella giggles softly beside me and bites her bottom lip.

"Yeah. Sorry, Bella," Rosalie says, grabbing Emmett by the arm and pulling him away.

"What about me?" I ask, feigning offence.

"Whatever, it's not like you're horrendously embarrassed," Rose replies, rolling her eyes.

"I can walk myself out, you know," Emmett complains.

"Shut up," Rose says exasperatedly.

"Bye, guys," Alice says, smiling apologetically.

"It's not your fault, Ali," Bella reassures her, clearly realizing that Alice feels bad.

"Yes, it is. I shouldn't have said anything."

"You can't help the fact that Emmett's a buffoon," I say, smirking at her. She laughs lightly before grinning and walking out of the room, leaving Bella and I alone to pick up where we left off.

* * *

Hey everyone! I know this chapter is a bit late and I'm _really sorry..._ BUT, I had** no internet connection** up at Rockhampton, APART from my phone... And I can't update or edit chapters on my phone, can I?

The good news is,** I've finished work!** No more nannying/looking after the little rugrat for the time being.** So I'll be free to write and update to my regualr schedule again!** Well, hopefully... I still need to find another job...

Anyway, thank you all for the constant support and lovely reviews! It means so much to me and again,** I'm sorry if I haven't replied to your reviews yet!** Please hit me up on Twitter** Natalee_x** and let me know if you're still waiting on a reply!

A huge thank you to my Beta **Jenndur**. She is so, so, so amazing. I'd be lost without her! x

** natalee-x**


	39. Redemption

_****__**Note: **_Bella's outift:_**http:/i44 . tinypic . com/ei585i . jpg**_

* * *

_**Chapter Thirty Nine **__– (Redemption)_

_**BPOV**_

* * *

When Edward told me he was ready to hear the reason why I left the way I did, I couldn't help myself from feeling relived. I was also still a little bit scared that he'd hate me as soon as I told him, but I pushed those feelings aside and focused on the positive feelings building up inside me. The moment his lips connected with mine it was like the whole world disappeared and it was just him and I. All of the memories I've ever shared with him rushed through my mind like a movie projector was playing my life back to me. As soon as we pulled apart, I couldn't stop myself from telling him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him not giving up on me.

We sent playful texts to each other the next day before I went over to see him. I was so excited that things were finally becoming semi-normal between us again, that as soon as he opened the front door I closed the distance between us almost instantly and wrapped my arms around his waist. Alice ended up interrupting us and dragged me away to her room. I promised her I'd spend some time with her before spending the rest of the day with Edward, but she suddenly became extremely busy and couldn't spend much time with me after all.

I suspected Edward had something to do with that.

While I was with Alice, we talked about everything that has happened over the past few months and how so much has changed. She sulked about how she hardly got to spend any time with Jasper these days because he's constantly studying for his S. and then she began to groan about how that's going to be us next year and how much she's really _not_ looking forward to it.

We talked about mine and Jessica's rekindled friendship and how glad I was to have her back in my life. I felt so bad about cutting her out of my life the way I did. She didn't deserve that, especially when she hardly had anyone else. I was really glad that she and Edward became friends – even if it did make me jealous at times – because that gave her someone to talk to. Jessica and I used to talk about everything, so when she didn't have me anymore and then when she stopped being friends with Lauren, Edward was there for her to talk to when she realized she was gay.

When Alice bought up mine and Edward's relationship and how everything was going with us, I had a feeling that she already knew half of what was going on. I told her about the night in Port Angeles, how amazing it felt to just relax and hang out with him and everyone else. It felt like we were back at the time before I left. Before everything got completely screwed up and complicated. When I told her that Edward told me he wants to be with me again, she didn't act as enthusiastically as I thought she would have, which just proved my thoughts were right about her already knowing half of the story.

_x.X.x_

"_You already know, don't you?" I asked suspiciously._

"_What?" she asked innocently._

"_That I'm here today to talk to Edward…" _

"_Um?" _

"_About why I left," I said pointedly._

"_Oh," she replied, smiling sheepishly at me. "Yeah, I do. But that doesn't mean I'm still not totally ecstatic about it! I'm so happy for you guys! I can't wait for you guys to get back together!"_

"_Alice, I don't even know if we're going to get back together."_

"_Of course you are! Why would he say he wants to be with you, if that's not the case?"_

"_Because he hasn't heard why I left. It's completely hypocritical. How do I know it won't just make him angry?"_

"_He won't act like that. You're freaking out about nothing," she insisted._

_x.X.x_

I laugh quietly to myself as I remember the conversation. Edward and I are getting back on track and I've never been this happy about anything before in my life.

The weight shifts under my bed as Tanya pounces on top of me. I groan in annoyance as she rolls off of me and lays by my side. I roll over so I'm facing her and narrow my eyes.

"Must you always do this to me in the morning?" I ask, letting out a heavy sigh. I glance at my dressing side table to notice that the coffee she usually provides me in the morning is missing. "Where's my coffee?" I ask, quirking my brow.

"Well, good morning to you too, grumpy pants," she teases.

"Trust me. I am anything but grumpy right now."

"Does this have something to do with seeing Edward yesterday?" she asks skeptically.

"Maybe," I reply elusively, turning my head and giggling into my pillow.

"Ohhhh! Spill everything!" she says excitedly, slapping her hands next to my head.

"You're as bad as, Alice," I mumble before meeting her gaze again.

"Details. Now," she says seriously. I let out a heavy sigh before jumping into my explanation of what happened when I went over to the Cullen's yesterday afternoon.

I explain how completely wrecked with nerves I was while explaining everything to him. Especially when he addressed the fact that what I did to him was exactly what my mother did to me. All of my fears about him hating me and not wanting anything to do with me because of how hypocritical I was had come rushing into my mind. So, I did everything I could to explain everything to him properly about how insecure and scared I was back then, trying to the best of my ability to convey the feelings I felt the night he told me he loved me. Thankfully, he understood everything but just wished I'd gone to him instead of running off. I tell Tanya about how I told Edward that she was the one who encourage me to face my fears, deal with my mistakes and write to him. I explain how he felt bad about not listening me as soon as I came back because it just made everything worse, even though he had every right to act and feel that way. I tell Tanya how Edward and I said that we both never stopped loving each other the entire time I was away, and we are who we are today because of everything that happened between us, which also lead us to our make out session.

"Oh my god!" she exclaims excitedly. "So you guys are back together?"

"Yeah," I reply sheepishly.

"Well, it's about time! Gosh!"

"Yeah, that's what Emmett said when he barged into the room and interrupted us."

"He didn't!" she says incredulously.

"Yep," I reply, laughing lightly. "Then Rosalie came in and smacked him the back of the head. It was actually quite amusing."

"God, love her," Tanya chuckles. "Anyway, do you want breakfast? I was gonna make bacon and eggs."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you," I joke.

"Funny," she replies sarcastically, rolling her eyes at me before climbing off my bed and walking out of my room.

* * *

I have a quick shower and change into my navy blue high-waist, pin-up shorts, white plain T-shirt with my black and white leopard print scarf. I hear the murmur of voices and soft laughter as I make my way to the kitchen. Jessica is sitting on one of the kitchen stools as Tanya works away in the kitchen and serves up breakfast.

I can't stop the grin that forms on my face at seeing them two together.

Jessica turns her head at the sound of my approach and smiles kindly at me. I return the gesture before closing the distance between us and slinging my arm across her shoulders and squeezing her into my side.

"Hey, Jess," I say before releasing her.

"Hey, Bella. What are your plans for the day?" she asks kindly.

"I have no idea," I reply honestly.

"Bullshit," Tanya scoffs.

"What?" Jess asks curiously.

"She and Edward have rekindled their flame," Tanya jokes.

"You are such an old soul," Jessica teases.

"You love it," Tanya replies, winking at her.

"Anyway," says Jessica. "So you and Edward are back together?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"That's great. I'm so happy for you," she says sweetly.

"Aww, you're such a cutie," Tanya coos, leaning over the kitchen bench to pinch Jessica's cheek. Jessica swats Tanya's hand away and narrows her eyes.

"Shut up," she mumbles embarrassingly.

Tanya chuckles to herself as she walks around the island and stands in between Jessica's legs and wraps her arms around her neck. "I was just playing," she says, grinning at Jessica.

Jessica rolls her eyes before winding her arms around Tanya's waist. "You're so annoying sometimes, you're lucky I love you."

Tanya's expression turns to shock, causing Jessica's eyes go wide as she realizes what she just said. Jessica bites her bottom lip and looks away from Tanya, her arms slumping to her sides. Tanya grabs Jessica by the chin lightly, gently forcing her to meet her gaze. Tanya grins at Jessica before kissing her lightly on the lips. Jessica's mouth turns up into a smile after Tanya pulls away.

"I love you too, Jessie," Tanya says softly.

"Awww, you guys are so cute!" I mock Tanya, pinching them both on the cheeks and running around the island before they can swat at me.

* * *

When Tanya, Jessica and I are in the middle of eating breakfast my phone beeps, signaling that I have a text message. I pull my phone out of my pocket, a smile automatically forming on my lips as I see it's from Edward.

**HEY BEAUTIFUL, CAN I COME OVER? X**

"Is that from lover-boy?" Tanya teases, catching my attention.

"Leave her alone," Jessica scolds, rolling her eyes.

"Yep," I reply before texting Edward back.

PLEASE DO. X

"What's he saying?" Tanya asks.

"Do you always have to be so nosy?" Jessica asks incredulously.

"He just wanted to know if he could come over," I tell her.

"He asked permission?" she asks, her voice filled with amusement.

"Yes," I reply. "He's not like you, he doesn't just turn up unexpectedly."

"Oh, whatever."

"She's got a point," Jessica says, laughing softly.

"You bitches love me."

"Not when you pounce on top of me in the morning _without_ having coffee ready for me," I retort just as my phone chimes again.

**BE OVER IN TEN. IS T HOME? X**

YEAH, SO IS JESS. GET HERE NOW. X

**THAT BAD, HUH? X**

THEY'RE TORTUING ME. HURRY. X

**I'LL BE FASTER THAN THE FLASH ;)**

STOP TALKING AND DRIVE! :P

"God, what are you two saying?" Tanya asks.

"Nothing."

"You're whining about me, aren't you?"

"Am not."

"That just proves you are," she replies, laughing lightly.

"When is he coming over?" Jessica asks.

"In ten minutes," I reply, my smile escalating.

"Fuck me drunk, he's not messing around, is he?"

"Tanya!" Jessica exclaims before slapping Tanya on the arm.

"What?" Tanya asks innocently.

"Do you have to talk like that?" Jessica asks.

"Babe, you know I swear like a sailor, it's nothing new," Tanya replies.

"She's got you there, Jess," I say, laughing softly.

"You're just as bad, though. I think Tanya was a bad influence on you," Jessica says, the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile.

"Yep," I reply, popping the P for emphasis. "I've been totally corrupted," I add.

A knock at the door interrupts our conversation.

"Guilty as charged," Tanya says, but I'm already off the kitchen stool and running for the door before she finishes her sentence.

I open the door with a grin on my face.

"Hey," I greet him kindly.

"Hey," he replies, returning my smile before tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, causing my cheeks to flush.

I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around his waist. I feel him plant a kiss on the top of my head. I smile against his chest before pulling away.

"This was in your mailbox," he says, my whole body freezing as he hands me a letter that is definitely from my mother. He looks at me quizzically as I take it from him slowly. I smile reassuringly at him before entwining my hand with his and leading him inside. He closes the door behind him before I lead us to the couch. I place the letter on the coffee table before leaning into his chest.

Tanya and Jessica must have noticed that he handed me the letter because they join us in the lounge room.

Tanya picks up the letter before sitting down on the coffee table, her body facing Edward and I. "Are you going to read it?" she asks softly.

"Later."

"Bella…" Jessica says.

"I'm fine, okay? I'll read it later," I assure them. Tanya lets out a heavy sigh before glancing at Edward.

"So, come to rescue your lady, have you?" Tanya jokes, changing the subject.

"Hey, Edward," Jessica says kindly, rolling her eyes at Tanya. Edward laughs lightly, shaking his head with amusement.

"You've got it right, Tanya," he says.

"I don't know what she tells you. I am the nicest person on planet earth," she says innocently.

"Ha!" I scoff.

"You just need to add some cement in your coffee and harden the fuck up," Tanya teases, her voice filled with sweetness.

"Tanya! Seriously?" Jessica scolds her again.

"Get used to it, precious," Tanya replies, pecking Jessica on the lips quickly before laughing to herself.

"You're entertaining to be around, I'll give you that," Edward tells her.

"I do my best," Tanya replies proudly, grinning at Edward.

He chuckles lightly before looking at me and smiling softly. I return the gesture as he leans forward and presses his lips against mine. I kiss him back softly, my hand wrapping around his neck to pull him closer to me.

"Ummmm," Tanya says awkwardly. "Okay, I'll stop being a smartass if you guys stop doing that," Tanya adds pleadingly. I smile against Edward lips and laugh softly before pulling away.

"What? Can't handle your own medicine?" I ask, quirking my brow.

"We are _not _that bad," Tanya says defensively.

"Actually, we kind of are," Jessica murmurs to herself, her cheeks flushing scarlet as she realizes she said it our loud.

"Jess, you aren't meant to admit it," Tanya says before laughing hysterically at Jessica's expense.

"Why do you put up with her?" I ask Jessica.

"Sometimes, I don't even know," she replies, letting out a heavy sigh.

"Whatever, are we gonna head off now or what?" she asks, turning to face Jessica.

"Might as well," Jess replies, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Jeez, don't look so enthusiastic," Tanya teases.

"Shut up, will you?" Jess retorts.

"Do you want me to hurt you?" Tanya asks. "And I don't mean in the good way," she adds tauntingly.

"Gross," I mumble. "I did not need to hear that."

"Oh my god, let's just go," Jessica says, her cheeks flushing again as she grabs Tanya by the arm and drags her outside.

* * *

After Tanya and Jessica leave, Edward asks what all the hype over the letter is about. I tell him it's from my mom, and that I've been writing to her. He asks if they're too personal for him to read. I roll my eyes and shake my head in amusement before going into my room and bringing them out to him. He reads through them silently, his eyes widening in shock, his forehead creasing in deep thought a few times and eventually glancing over at me, his expression filled with compassion and sympathy.

After he reads the letters, we decide to lighten the mood by cuddling up on the couch to watch some movies throughout the day. It's a bit hard to concentrate on the films, though, especially when he's distracting me by playing with my hair and planting random kisses against my forehead, temple and cheek.

We end up in a few make out sessions throughout the films too. Well, that is until things begin to get a little too heated and we have to pull apart from each other, which ends up with my cheeks going as red as a fire-truck. I don't think I've ever wanted anything so much in my life, as much as I want to go to the next step in our relationship. But I know we can't rush into anything and we have to take things slowly.

Which is extremely _annoying._

"What's wrong?" Edward asks softly.

"Nothing," I mumble.

"Bella," he addresses me sternly.

"It's nothing. I'm just being stupid."

"Is this about us not going further?" he asks hesitantly.

"Yes," I reply indulgently, letting out a heavy sigh.

"I don't want to rush into anything."

"I know. I don't either."

"Then what's the problem? You're not thinking that I don't want you, are you?" he asks uncertainly.

"No?" I reply questioningly.

"Bella!" he groans, resting his head against the back of the couch before turning his body to face me.

"What? I can't help it!" I respond defensively.

"When will you ever see yourself clearly? Or see how much I love you? I have never wanted anyone so much in my life. I just want to do this the right way."

"You make me feel like some crazy villain temptress trying to steal your virtue," I mumble.

"It's not my virtue I'm worried about," he says seriously.

"That is so bloody ancient, it's not even funny."

"I'm not joking."

"We live in the twenty-first century, Edward. Not the nineteen hundreds."

"That's just how I was brought up."

"Please do not tell me you're going to make me wait until we're married or something."

"You'd marry me?" he ask, his infamous smirk plastered on his face.

"Uh… I, um," I sputter. "Yeah?" I reply questioningly.

"You don't seem too confident about that," he jokes.

"Are you asking me to marry you?" I retort, quirking my brow.

"No," he replies, laughing lightly. "Not yet, anyway," he adds.

"So much for not rushing things," I reply sarcastically.

"We aren't rushing anything. I just need you to know that I do want you in that way, I just want it to be right."

"I know you want me, I'm not an idiot."

"Really?" he asks skeptically. "Because sometimes I'm not so sure you know how much I want to be with you."

"I feel wanted," I mumble. "So, I know you want me," I add softly.

"Well, what's the problem then?" he asks softly.

"I haven't felt that in a long time."

"Why?" he asks incredulously.

"Because of my mom," I murmur.

"That wasn't your fault," he says tenderly, cupping my face in his hands. "I'm sure you're mother had her reasons for leaving. It certainly sounds like it from those letters she sent you. There's no way she left because of you. You gravitate people towards you, Bella, not push them away," he adds seriously.

"I pushed you away," I mumble, looking up at him. "And besides, she even said in the letters that she left for my sake, so therefore, she left because of me."

"I think you shouldn't assume anything until everything is explained to you. I mean, I did that when you left and you had a pretty serious reason why you did what you did."

"Yeah, I know. I just, I don't know? I'm scared, I guess."

"I understand. But your mom could have a serious reason why she left. Maybe she was in trouble or someth–"

"What do you mean she could have been in trouble? What kind of trouble?" I ask panicked, cutting him off.

"I don't know, but it might be in that letter you got today. Why don't you open it?" he asks.

"I don't know…"

"Bella, you won't know until you read it."

"Okay," I reply hesitantly, letting out a heavy sigh before leaning forward and picking the letter up off the coffee table. Edward smiles at me and wraps his arms around my waist as I sit back down. I lean back into his chest, biting my bottom lip as I open the letter.

_Bella, honey, of course I would reply to you. Oh, baby, I didn't mean for everything to go downhill for you so badly. Charlie hates you? I highly doubt that, he's probably just hurt and confused. He would never or could ever hate you, you're his baby girl. But I guess him becoming a 'drunk' as you put it, would add to the effect of his anger towards me. He's only taking it out on you, and for that I'm so sorry. I feel completely horrible. I thought at least he would see the hidden message in my letter that I wasn't well. You have no reason to feel guilty, but I can understand you feeling that way. I guess I didn't phrase the letter too well. I didn't write to you because I couldn't and I didn't want to at the time. I have a lot to explain, which I want to do in person. But I will tell you one thing that I hope will help answer some of your minor questions. I was sick, baby. I didn't want you to see me that way. I know you have many questions, sweetheart. And I will answer all of them when I come to see you. Ring this number and let them know if you want to see me. They'll pass the message on to me. 718-613-4000_

_I love you. Love, mom._

"What does it say?" Edward whispers in my ear.

I sit forward and turn my head to face him. "She wants to come here to see me. She gave me a number to call to confirm if I want her to. She also said she left because she was sick."

"See, I told you," he says, smiling softly at me. "I don't think she'd lie about that. Are you gonna call her?" he asks.

"Yeah. I mean, I think I should. I want to see her and I want to know everything," I say quietly. "And she has to meet you," I add cheekily.

"I'm flattered," he replies through a laugh before asking, "Do you want to call now?"

"Should I? I mean, will that seem too eager?"

"Babe, you don't know when she sent that letter. She's probably waiting for you to call."

"Really?" I ask hesitantly.

"Don't think about it, just do it," he says encouragingly, handing me his cell phone.

"Okay," I reply, taking the phone out of his hand and dialing in the number. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly as the phone begins to ring.

And ring…

And ring…

"Maybe she gave me a phony number?" I say nervously, covering the phone with my hand.

_"Interfaith Medical Center, Nurse Irina speaking, how may I help you?"_ she answers, my eyes going wide as she catches me off guard.

"Oh. Um, hi, my name's Bella Swan."

"_Bella! Renee said we might get a call from you. You're her daughter_,_ right_?_ What can I do for you?"_ she asks kindly.

"Yes, um, she just said to call and confirm–"

"_Oh! Speak of the devil, here she is now,"_ she exclaims, cutting me off. _"Would you like to speak to her?"_ she asks.

"Okay?" I reply hesitantly. "Sure," I mumble.

"_Renee, it's your daughter, Bella. She wants to speak to you."_

I close my eyes and take another deep breath to calm myself down. I haven't heard my mothers voice in five years and it feels completely surreal that I'm about to speak to her now. I snap my eyes open as Edward cups my cheek in his hand. I lean into his touch and lock my gaze with his. He gives me a reassuring smile as he plays with my hair and plants a kiss on my cheek. I smile lightly at him in return before my mother's voice catches my attention.

_"Bella?"_ she says hopefully.

"Hey, Mom," I reply, my voice quiet.

"_How are you, baby?"_

"Pretty confused, actually. But I'm okay, I guess."

"_I know you must be extremely confused, I don't blame you. Did you get my letter?"_

"Yeah," I reply quietly. "I do want you to come see me, When can you come?" I ask.

"_I can come down in a few days, if that's alright?"_

"Really? So soon?"

"_Of course,"_ she replies, laughing lightly. _"Unless you don't want me to come that soon,"_ she adds uncertainly.

"No, no, I want you to come," I reassure her. "I was just, shocked…" I say quietly, my voice trailing off.

"_Honey, what's wrong? You're being very quiet,"_ she says concerned.

"I just, I have a lot of different emotions running through me right now. I can't tell you how good it is to hear your voice. I miss you so much," I tell her quietly, my voice breaking as a sob escapes my chest. Edward tightens his hold on me and kisses me on my temple.

"_Oh_,_ baby, I miss you too. Please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I'll be with you soon, I promise."_

"Are you okay, love?" Edward asks softly beside me as the tears continue to fall down my face. I nod my head at him before leaning into his chest.

"_Who's that? Is that a boy?"_ she asks skeptically.

"That's Edward," I murmur, causing Edward to smirk at me.

"_Is he your boyfriend?"_

"Why are you in a medical center? What's wrong?" I ask, changing the subject.

"_Oh_, _honey, I'll explain everything when I see you."_

"Can't you tell me now?" I wine. "Please?" I plead.

"_I really don't want to tell you over the phone, sweetheart."_

"Well, I don't care. You owe me an explanation, Mom," I tell her quietly, my tone serious.

"_I know I've put you through a lot. But I am not having this conversation with you over the _phone_. End of discussion,"_ she says sternly.

"Fine," I reply angrily, huffing in frustration.

"Bella, try not to be so harsh," Edward says softly, kissing me on the temple. I roll my eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

"_And don't think I didn't notice you changing the subject. I'm not that dense, young lady. Who is that boy on the other end of the phone?"_ she asks suspiciously. Edward must have heard what she said because he chuckles lightly beside me.

"Yes, Mom, he's my boyfriend,"I murmur.

"_Gosh, you're growing up so fast! How long have you been together, is he good to you, are you being safe?"_

"Oh my god, Mom, just stop," I reply horrified.

"_I guess we can talk about all of that when I come down to see you."_

"Yeah, sure," I reply reluctantly.

"_We will talk about this, Bella,"_ she says seriously.

"Look, you seriously don't have to worry. Edward is more than good to me, Mom," I glance over at Edward to see he has a big smile on his face. He leans down and chastely kisses me on the lips.

"_Well, I hope so,"_ she mumbles before adding, _"Oh shoot. I'm really sorry, honey. But I have to go now."_

"Oh. Okay," I reply reluctantly.

"_It was nice talking to you, baby. I can't wait to see you again, and to meet this boy, how exciting!"_

"Oh God, please do not make a scene when you come here."

"_There is nothing wrong with me being happy that my baby girl has found a man."_

"You did not just say that," I reply mortified, Edward laughing beside me.

"_Don't be so ridiculous. You're still as stubborn and self conscious as you were five years ago."_

"I'm not the same person as I was back then," I reply sternly.

"_I didn't say that, Bella. Anyway, I'll see you soon. I love you, baby. Bye."_

"I love you too, Mom," I reply quietly. "Bye," I add through a sigh before hanging up.

Did that really just happen? Did I seriously just talk to mother for the first time in five years? I have so many conflicted emotions traveling throughout me that I don't even know where to start to try and explain how I feel. I didn't realize how much I really missed her and craved her presence until hearing her voice again. I have so many questions, and I'm completely and utterly confused and overwhelmed that her side of the conversation was expressed in a medical clinic.

Why the hell is she there? She said that's why she had to leave because she was sick. But what kind of sick was she? I'm so frustrated that she didn't give me any details. I get that she wants to talk to me about it in person, but she could have at least told me something. Now I'm just going to go completely bonkers trying to figure out what is or was wrong with her until she gets here.

And so that brings up that subject. What's going to happen when she comes back? Hearing her voice and actually seeing her is a completely different thing. But speaking to her just then felt like she never even left in the first place. It was as though she was just away on a holiday or a business trip or something. But what if the anger and resentment I have towards her for leaving resurfaces when she comes back and I ruin the whole reunion with her. I guess I just need to take Edward's advice on keeping myself calm and trying not to be too harsh on her because she has her reasons for why she left and she's coming to explain them to me.

Just like I did for Edward.

"Are you okay?" he asks concerned.

"Yea," I reply, glancing up at him. "Just, trying to process everything." I add softly.

God, what the hell is going on with my emotions right now? I'm scared, angry, excited, frustrated, happy, regretful, resentful… I'm completely conflicted right now and I hate it. If I feel like this, I can't even imagine the way Edward felt when I left and then came back. Alice told me a few things that happened after I left and I felt horrendous about being the cause of the sort of pain that lived within Edward. I hate that I was the cause of that. Like I told him yesterday, I'd rather my heart be broken and him not want me at all, than be the reason for his pain. I'm so overwhelmed I can't stop the tears that form in my eyes and fall down my face or the sobs that begin to rock throughout me uncontrollably.

"Hey," he says softly, cupping my face in his hands. "Why are you crying?"

"I'm so sorry for running off. I just got so scared. I don't deserve you for pushing you away the way I did,"

"Bella, we already sorted all of this out."

"I know, but I still feel so terrible about everything. I shouldn't be with you, I don't deserve you," I reply before beginning to get up off the couch. Edward places his hands on my hips and spins me around before pulling me down onto his lap so I'm straddling him.

"Bella, I pushed you away too, remember?" he says, cupping my face in his hands again. "We were both hurt and scared, but we're together now and that's all that matters."

"But what if I do something stupid like that again? I know you won't forgive me."

"Bella, I love you. I'm never letting you go again."

"Really?" I ask hesitantly, causing him to laugh lightly as he shakes his head with amusement.

"Of course I love you. I remember quite clearly telling you that on Thanksgiving," he replies, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "And yesterday," he adds cheekily.

"I love you too," I whisper, keeping my eyes locked with his.

"Do you now?" he quips, his lips turning up into his crooked grin as he leans in closer to me.

"I remember quite clearly telling you that at Jacob's party," I reply, my breathing becoming heavy. "And last night," I mock, smiling at him before biting my bottom lip.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk," he says seriously.

"Me too," I say breathlessly, our faces inching closer and closer before his lips finally connect with mine and he kisses me passionately.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back with as much love as I can muster. God, I've missed him so much. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip. I open up to him and he darts his tongue inside my mouth, a moan escaping both of us at the contact we've so longingly missed. As he runs his hands under my shirt and up my back, I run my hands over his clothes and up his body, making my way into his hair. A grunt of pleasure escapes him as I pull on his hair lightly, causing him to kiss me more fervently.

I don't know how long we make out like that for, but when Edward pulls away and places his hands on my shoulders, I open my eyes to see the top half of our clothes strewn everywhere. I didn't even notice we did that. I glance over at the windows to see that it's dark outside. Tanya should have been home by now. I guess she stayed at Jessica's.

I pant heavily, trying to catch my breath. I bite my bottom lip as he eyes the top half of my body hungrily. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again and meeting my gaze.

"As much as I want to continue, I think we should stop," he says, his voice husky.

"Why?" I whine.

"I don't want to rush into anything. We aren't ready."

"Okay," I reply slowly, turning away from him as I feel the sting of rejection hit me. I pick up my shirt up off the ground and put it back on.

"Hey," he says soothingly as he runs his hand down my arm and entwining our hands together. "You know I want to, I just want it to be special for you," he adds seriously.

"It's with you; I don't need it to be any more special than that," I reply quietly, giving him a small smile before a yawn escapes my lips. "Ugh. I'm so tired," I say, yawing again.

"I should probably go then," he says reluctantly, buttoning up his shirt and moving to get off the couch.

"Can you stay?" I ask quietly, grabbing him by the arm to stop him from standing.

"Bella…"

"Nothing has to happen, I just want to be with you," I say quietly. "Please?" I add pleadingly.

He smiles at me softly before nodding his head. I breathe a sigh of relief before standing up off of the couch and entwining his hand with mine and lead him to my room. I let his hand fall from mine as I go into the bathroom to change. I walk out to see Edward is already in my bed, bare-chested. My eyes roam over his body which causes him to quirk his brow.

"Like what you see?" he jokes, smirking cockily at me.

I smile sheepishly at him as I make my way over to the bed, the blush running into my cheeks. I crawl into bed and scoot over closer to him. He wraps his arms around me and plants a kiss on the top of my head.

"Sweet dreams, beautiful," he says softly.

"Goodnight," I murmur sleepily, closing my eyes as another yawn escapes me.

The last thing I hear before I fall asleep is Edward whispering 'I love you.'

* * *

**Hey guys!** I felt heaps bad about the late updates, so I decided to post this one early!

So, Bella and Edward's relationship is on the road to recovery, and Bella gets another letter from Renee, then calls her. What did you guys think of everything that went down between all the characters?

**Thank you to everyone who have left me reviews.** A lot of you are so, so beautiful and **I have no words to express how much your kind words mean to me.** It feels so amazing to read reviews where you tell me the chapter made you cry_ (good tears and bad)_ and that it tugs at your heartstrings and makes your emotions go insane.

**I never thought in my life, that I'd ever touch anyone in that way, so it really warms my heart to hear that my story actually means something to you guys.**

Thank you to my beautiful lady,** Jenndur, **for being the most fantastic Beta, ever x

**natalee-x**


	40. Graduation Day

**Chapter Forty** -_ (Graduation Day)_

**EPOV**

******Note: Bella's clothes** - _http:/i44 . tinypic . com/2cxuo39 . jpg  
_**Edward's Clothes**_** - **http:/i44 . tinypic . com/291dlid . jpg_

* * *

I wake up with Bella wrapped in my arms, her leg hitched over mine and her head resting on my chest. I push her hair out of her face and stroke her cheek as I watch her sleep. A few minutes later I feel her smile against me chest as she tightens her hold on me.

"Morning, beautiful," I whisper before kissing her softly on the forehead.

"Mmm," she mumbles sleepily.

"How did you sleep?" I ask.

"Great," she replies, her voice thick with sleep. "You?" she asks.

"Best nights sleep I've had in months," I reply honestly.

"Me too," she says quietly, tilting her head back to look at me. I lean down to kiss her, but she turns her head.

"Morning breath," she mumbles.

"I don't care," I assure her, laughing lightly before tilting her head up to face me again.

I press my lips to hers and kiss her softly. She kisses me back a little more passionately, her hands running up my bare chest and into the back of my hair. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her on top of me. She straddles both of her legs on each side of my waist, removing her hands from my hair and placing them on my chest. I run my hands up her arms and into her hair, placing my right hand on her lower back as I sit up in the bed. She slings her arms around my neck and pulls me closer to her. I glide my tongue along her bottom lip causing her lips to part at the contact. A moan of pleasure escapes both our lips as our tongues connect and I tilt her head back to deepen the kiss.

I run my hands through the front of her hair, holding the back of her head after I pull away so we can catch our breath. I kiss her lightly on the temple, cheek, jaw and neck. She tilts her head back as my lips ghost softly across her collar bone.

"Edward," she addresses me breathlessly.

"Mmm?" I hum incoherently.

"Are we going to?" she asks hesitantly, causing me to pull away from her abruptly.

"What?"

"Oh," she says disappointedly. "I guess not," she murmurs.

"Not yet, baby."

"When?"

"I don't know."

She lets out a heavy sigh before smiling sheepishly at me. "Sorry," she mumbles, causing me to chuckle lightly.

"For what?" I ask amused.

"I feel like I'm constantly trying to seduce you."

"You don't have to try that hard."

"Clearly I do, because you haven't given in yet," she jokes.

"Only because I want it to be perfect for you.

"I don't know how many times I have to tell you that you're all I need for it to be perfect," she says softly.

"I know you think that now, but I'm not gonna take that chance."

She smiles softly before running her hands into the back of my hair. "I love you," she whispers, kissing me lightly on the lips.

"I love you too," I reply, smiling softly at her. "Do you want to head over to my house before the graduation ceremony?"

"Oh, I forgot about that."

"I know, I can't believe they're graduating. I'll finally get to hang out with Jasper again," I reply, chuckling lightly.

"What about Emmett?" she asks curiously. "Actually, I guess he'll be too busy catching up with Rose," she adds thoughtfully.

"I'm staying here during that time," I say seriously. "I do not need to hear their reunion."

"You can come over here anytime you want," she says mischievously.

"Good things come to those who wait, baby."

"Hey, don't go stealing my lines," she scolds teasingly, her lips turning up into a playful smile. I roll my eyes before returning her smiles and pecking her lightly on the lips.

"Come on, we better head over soon," I tell her, playfully smacking her on her ass.

"You're no fun," she says, pouting her lips before climbing off me and walking into her bathroom.

I bought a pair of spare clothes over yesterday, just in case I did end up staying the night. So while Bella is in the shower, I change into my white button down shirt, black jeans and black leather jacket. Bella doesn't take as long as Rose and Alice do in the shower, so I hear the faucet turn off after ten minutes.

I wander around Bella's room as I wait for her to get changed. I feel my lips turn up into a smile when I notice a few framed photographs of Bella and Jessica from when they were younger. There are a few of Bella, Alice and Rosalie. There's one on her bookshelf, from when she was in California. She stands in between Tanya and brunette haired girl with three guys on the right hand side. I'll have to ask her who they are. As I roam around the rest of her room, I find a photo on her desk of me and her from the open Mic night. We're curled up on the couch together, gazing into each other's eyes with small smiles on our faces. I don't remember that being taken, so Alice must of taken it and then given it to her.

I turn around as I hear the bathroom door open. Bella steps out in a medium length ice blue dress with black gladiator styled heels with a pair of black hoop earrings. My eyes roam her body, taking in every beautiful inch of her. She smiles sheepishly at me, taking her bottom lip into her mouth.

"What do you think?" she asks, spinning around on the spot, her arms situated out in front of her.

"You look stunning," I reply, making my way over to her.

"Are you sure?" she asks, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Yes," I reply seriously.

"It's not too much?" she asks hesitantly.

"You're perfect," I assure her, kissing her softly on the lips. She lets out a sigh of relief before smiling thankfully at me.

"You don't look too bad yourself," she says, stepping out of our embrace to get a better look at me.

"This is nothing."

"True," she ponders. "You look good in everything," she adds.

"You're silly."

"I'm telling the truth," she says seriously. "Although, I don't know why you always wear button up shirts. They're so much more difficult to take off."

I chuckle lightly, shaking my head in amusement. "You're extremely amusing."

"I wasn't _trying_ to be funny," she says earnestly.

"That's why it's funny," I tell her, causing her to roll my eyes. "Come on, love, we better go," I add, entwining my hand with hers and leading her out of her room.

* * *

Everyone is in the lounge room when we arrive at my house. Bella and I walk in hand in hand, causing Jasper and Carlisle's eyes to widen in shock for a split second before they compose themselves.

"Hey everyone," Bella greets them kindly.

"Hey, Bella," they reply simultaneously.

"I see my fashion sense is finally starting to rub off on you," Alice says cheerfully.

"That's bound to happen when you're constantly scolding me about the things I wear," Bella retorts.

"You look fine in anything, you don't need to get dressed up," I tell her.

"Yes, Edward. We all know how beautiful she is," Alice says sarcastically. "I never said she doesn't look good in what she wears, she just looks even better when she takes my advice," she adds.

"Whatever, she's not a Barbie doll you can play with," I reply, sitting down on the couch next to Emmett and Rosalie, pulling Bella down onto my lap.

"I don't treat her like a Barbie doll!" Alice exclaims. "I don't. Do I, Bella?" she asks hesitantly.

"Sometimes," Bella replies reluctantly. "But I don't really mind. Just as long as you let me compromise," she adds playfully.

"Of course," Alice says, the tone of her voice indicating that's the most obvious thing in the world.

I chuckle lightly to myself before planting a kiss on Bella's cheek. I glance around the room to see everyone's eyes are on us with smiles on their faces.

Jasper still looks confused.

"Wait, so you two are back together?" Jasper asks confused.

"Yep," I reply, wrapping my arms around Bella's waist.

"Like I said the other day, it's about fucking time," Emmett grumbles.

"Shut up," I reply, narrowing my eyes.

"Wait, you've known for a few days? Why am I only finding out now?" Jasper asks confused, glancing over at Emmett.

"Because you've had your nose stuck in your study notes for the past month and haven't noticed anything," Emmett replies.

"You've been cramming too," Jasper says defensively.

"Yeah, but I didn't revolve my whole life around studying, did I?" Emmett retorts.

"Have I really been that bad?" Jasper asks.

"Yes," Alice says exasperatedly. "Thank god you're finally graduating," she adds.

"That'll be you next year," Jasper tells her.

"Don't remind us," Bella mumbles.

"Anyway," Emmett says. "I was seriously going to punch some sense into you if you didn't stop being a prick to Bella," he adds seriously.

"Jeez. Thanks, Emmett," I reply sarcastically.

"Thank god she finally made you see sense," Emmett teases.

"It was actually Jasper who got me to pull my head out of my ass," I correct him. "No offence, baby," I add, planting a kiss on Bella's temple.

"None taken," she replies quietly, looking up into my eyes with a smile on her face. I lean down and lightly press my lips to hers. I feel her smile against my lips before she kisses me back. Somebody – who sounds like Carlisle – clears their throat, causing us to break apart. The blush rushes into Bella's cheeks as she looks away and smiles sheepishly.

"My Jazzy is a great persuader," Alice says proudly, kissing him on the cheek.

"Yeah, I bet he is," Emmett says, waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, shut up, Emmett! Get your head out of the gutter," Alice exclaims.

"That's impossible, Alice. You should know that by now," Rosalie snickers.

"Yeah, I've known him for like a month and even I've realized that," Tanya jokes, causing everyone to erupt into laughter.

"We should probably head over to the ceremony. Are you three ready?" says Esme, looking at Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie proudly.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Rose mumbles.

"I cannot wait to get out of that place," Emmett says cheerfully.

"It wasn't that bad," Jasper says.

"I can't believe you guys are graduating. I'm hardly ever going to get to see you now," Bella says sadly.

"Nah, you'll still see us Bella Button," Emmett reassures her.

"Promise?" she asks uncertainly.

"Bella, you're apart of our family. You can't get rid of us now," Rose says kindly, shocking everyone in the room. Well, except Bella because they've become pretty close. Bella rolls her eyes at everyone's reaction.

"Why does it always shock everyone when Rose says something nice?" Bella asks.

"Yeah, why is that?" Rose asks skeptically.

"Because you're always so feisty," Emmett says hesitantly.

"Only because I'm protective!" Rose says defensively.

"You're just a natural bitch, Rose, you can't help it," Jasper says.

"I cannot believe you just said that," she replies, her voice filled with shock.

"Okay, so maybe bitch isn't the right word. But you're my twin sister, I know you," Jasper says. "You can't help it after everything we've been through. You do it to protect yourself and to make sure you don't ever look vulnerable. You'd rather people fear you than pity you."

"Right," Rose murmurs.

"It's not a bad thing, baby," Emmett assures her.

"Whatever," she replies indignantly. "Can we go now?" she asks, standing up from the couch.

Everyone follows her lead and walks out to the front of the house. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice all go in one car, while Esme and Carlisle drive together and Tanya, Bella and I ride in my Volvo.

* * *

Every single one of us are completely shocked when we realize Rosalie is the valedictorian. I knew she was smart and dedicated to her education, but I never knew she was that dedicated. She took three extra classes, volunteered at women's shelters for extra credit, she's captain of the softball team, president of the social committee – which is shocking all on it's own because Rosalie is hardly social with anyone and is the most feared person in this school.

It seems a lot of people actually appreciate and respect her, though. Which isn't totally shocking, I guess. I mean, once you get to know her, you learn that she's one of the most protective, passionate, caring human beings on planet earth. Yeah, she can be a nasty ice queen when she wants to be. But at the end of the day, if anyone messes with you, she'll always have your back.

"I guess that explains her taking my Trig class for extra units," Bella whispers to me.

"I never knew she was doing half of this stuff. I knew she was always busy, but I didn't know it was all for this."

"I knew about a few of the things, but I promised her I wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"I don't know why she doesn't let anyone see this side of her."

"It's like Jasper said. She'd rather people fear her than pity her."

"But they wouldn't pity her, they'd respect her," I reply. "She obviously already has a fair few people who respect her if she was voted valedictorian."

"Well, we're a year below her. I guess we don't really see the relationships she has with others in her classes."

"True," I ponder. "I'm really proud of her," I add.

"You should tell her that," she replies, smiling softly at me.

"I fully intend to," I reply, returning her smile. I look back to the front of the stage as Rosalie continues her valedictorian speech.

"I've been through a lot in my life and I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my family. They've been there for me every step of the way and let me tell you, they've put up with a lot of my bullshit," she smiles softly as everyone erupts into laughter. "A lot of you may only see one side of me, which is 'the ice-queen of bitchness' as my brother, Edward, likes to call me sometimes," she meets my gaze and smiles mischievously. "But there are reasons for that, which I won't get into right now because it isn't the time or place, and it's none of your business anyway," she says jokingly, causing everyone to erupt into laughter again.

"What I'm trying to say is my family is the reason I am who I am today. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for any of them and I'm extremely grateful and blessed, for Carlisle and Esme taking me and my brother, Jasper, into their home when they did. I have no idea where I'd be today without them. My mother is the most caring, compassionate person you will ever meet. My father has always encouraged me with my studies and told me to never give up on my dreams and to always go after something I truly believe in. Which is why I'm standing where I am today." She looks out into the crowd as she turns her piece of paper over and continues her speech.

"I know this speech is supposed to be to my classmates about the future and I've totally gone off track. So I guess I'll end it on this note: the best advice I can give you is to give you the same advice my father gave me. Go after what you want in life because you can do anything if you put your mind to it. And my personal advice for you guys would be to never take anything for granted. This isn't the time to make hard and fast decisions, so don't freak out if you make a mistake, you're human; you're going to make mistakes. You're going to get lost when you finally move out of your parent's house and live somewhere new, you're going to change your mind a million times about what you want to do with your life, you're going to fall in and out of love, you're going to look back on certain times in your life and think, 'why then hell did I do that?', you're going to major in stupid subjects that you can't even make a career out of. Sometimes you have to fall to realize what you're reaching for. Obstacles are placed in our life to see if we can handle them and to make sure what we want is worth fighting for. From every wound a scar will resurface. Every scar tells a story, it says "I was intensely wounded, but I survived it." So, just live one day at a time. Make mistakes and change your mind, because one day everything will fall into place for you." She folds her piece of paper up and smiles to the crowd.

Me, Bella, Jessica, Tanya, Esme and Carlisle are the first to get to our feet to cheer and clap for her. Our principal walks back up to the microphone to begin announcing the student's by alphabetical order to come on stage and accept their scrolls.I glance over at Bella and see her eyes welling up with tears as Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett walk on stage – one after another – taking their graduation slips and shaking hands with the principal. She must feel my gaze on her because she looks up at me. A smile forms on her lips as she looks into my eyes. I return the gesture as I cup her cheek in my hand, wiping her tears away with my thumb. She closes her eyes at my touch and breaths in deeply. I take that moment to connect my lips with hers, kissing her softly.

"I love you," I whisper in her ear, planting a kiss on her neck. I pull away when everyone erupts into applause, the graduating students throwing their caps up into the air with elation. She smiles up at me and this time she's the one to initiate the kiss.

"God, do you two ever stop sucking face?" Emmett groans as he makes his way over to us.

"Like you can talk," Bella scoffs, her lips turning up into a grin as she embraces him in a hug. "Congratulations!" she exclaims. Emmett lifts her off the ground and spins her around.

"Thanks, Button," Emmett replies, grinning from ear to ear.

Rosalie and Jasper make their way over to us. Alice runs for Jasper and assaults him with passionate kisses. Jessica and Tanya envelop Rose in a hug and congratulate her. Bella does the same straight afterward, their embrace lasting a little longer as they have a private, hushed conversation.

"We're making up for lost time," I say, returning to our original conversation and stealing another kiss from Bella when she walks back over to me.

"And whose fault was it that you lost that time?" Emmett quips, causing Bella's body to freeze.

"Mine, actually," Bella says awkwardly.

"Nice one, idiot," Rose scolds him, whacking him on the back of the head.

"Shit. Bells, I didn't mean it like that," Emmett says apologetically, rubbing the spot where Rose hit him.

"Think before you speak, buffoon," I complain.

"Hey, you can't talk!" Emmett exclaims.

Bella giggles softly beside me, shaking her head with amusement, a small smile on her lips. "You guys are crazy," she says.

"Do you ever stop bickering?" Carlisle asks exasperatedly.

"Stupid question, Dad," says Rose.

"Honey, why didn't you tell use you were valedictorian?" Esme exclaims, pulling Rose into her arms and hugging her tightly. Rose smiles sheepishly after pulling out of the embrace.

"I only found out yesterday."

"They left it that long?" Carlisle asks surprised.

"Apparently someone was meant to tell me two weeks ago, but they never did," she replies, annoyance clear in her tone.

"Your speech was great," I tell her honestly.

"Really?" she asks hesitantly. "Wasn't too sappy?"

"Nah, it was perfect. Had just the right amount of smartass jokes and sappiness," I joke.

"Like my little remark about you, did you?" she asks playfully.

"You were only speaking the truth," I quip.

"Asshole," she retorts, slapping me on the arm as she laughs lightly.

"Seriously though, Rose, I'm really proud of you." I tell her. "You know I love you no matter what, right?"

Her eyes glaze over with unshed tears as she smiles softly at me. "Thanks, Edward," she says quietly, closing the distance between and wrapping her arms around my neck. "I love you too." she whispers, hugging me tightly.

"We should probably head back to the house," Carlisle says thoughtfully.

"We'll go find Alice and Jasper," Rose says, grabbing Emmett by the arm and leading him away.

"We'll meet you back there," I tell Carlisle, entwining my hand with Bella and walking us back to the car.

"That was really sweet of you," Bella says as I climb into the passenger seat.

"I was just telling her the truth."

"Yeah," she says thoughtfully. "But you guys don't really say things like that to each other, do you?"

"Not really, no,"

"You should." She says softly, the tone of her voice serious.

"Don't worry, I will." I reply honestly, giving her a reassuring smile before entwining her hand with mine and pulling out of the parking lot.

* * *

We're all back at the house, sitting in the living room and talking about Rose's speech, what Emmett, Jasper and Rose are going to do now they've finished school, what colleges they've applied for and what they're going to study while they're there.

Rose turns the subject onto Bella, Alice, Jess and I and how next year we're going to be the ones graduating.

"Where are you going to apply to go to college?" Rose asks Bella.

"Oh," she says taken aback. "I'm not really sure; it's way too early to be thinking about that."

"It's never too early to start thinking about your future," Alice says softly. "I'm going to whatever college Jazz decides to go to, though."

"Baby, you can't do that," Jasper says seriously.

"Why not?" Alice exclaims.

"You need to do what's right for you, not just follow where I go because you want to be with me."

"I'll do what I want," she responds determinedly, folding her arms across her chest.

"That's all I want you to do," Jasper says lovingly, pulling her into his side and kissing her softly on the temple.

"Anyway," Rose says. "Bella, have you thought about it at all?"

"Well," she replies hesitantly, glancing up at me.

"Go on," I encourage her.

"I was thinking California," she mumbles.

"So you can be near Kate and Garrett?" Tanya asks softly.

"Yeah," Bella replies just as quietly. "I miss them," she adds sadly.

I smile lovingly at her, pull her closer to me and lean down to kiss her on the cheek. "California sounds great," I whisper.

"Really?" she asks hopefully, yet uncertainly.

"Definitely," I reply honestly. "It'll be nice to spend some time in the sun."

The corners of Bella's mouth begin to twitch at the hint of a smile and before I know it, she's grinning at me. "I love you," she says, leaning up and kissing me on the lips.

"I love you too," I reply, wrapping my arms around her waist and burying my face into the crook of her neck.

"I've missed this," Bella says softly, letting out a content sigh.

"We missed you too, honey," Esme says sweetly. "You're a part of this family now and you've brought another member into this family too," she adds soothingly, causing everyone to glance over at Tanya.

"Who, me?" Tanya asks shocked. "Wow. That's… That's really nice of you," she says sheepishly.

"It's true," Carlisle says. "Any family of Bella's is family to us," he adds compassionately.

"I've missed the feeling of having a family," Bella mumbles.

"Well you don't have to miss it anymore, honey. You've got us till the end now," Esme assures her.

I cup Bella's face in my hands when I see tears well up in her eyes and fall down her face. I wipe them away with my thumbs before leaning down and planting a soft kiss against her lips.

"Alright, who wants some lunch?" asks Esme.

"YES!" Emmett exclaims. "I'm starving!" he adds.

"You're always starving," Rosalie complains.

"I'm a growing man, baby. I needs me my food."

"You are such a tool," I joke, laughing along with everyone.

"I'll come and help," Bella says, getting up off the couch and following Esme into the kitchen.

"I'm glad you and Bella have sorted everything out, son," Carlisle says sincerely after Bella leaves the room.

"Me too," I reply.

"You two seem fairly serious about each other already," Carlisle says.

"Well, I plan on marrying her one day. So if that's the kind of serious you mean, then yeah, I guess we are," I reply honestly.

"Oh, my god, really?" Alice exclaims. "Can I plan it?"

"I haven't even asked her yet, Alice," I reply exasperatedly. "And I won't for a while, we aren't gonna rush into anything."

"Well, I know for sure she'll say yes. She loves you," says Tanya. "And I know she's told you why she left, but she hasn't told you guys what she was like when she was in California," she adds sadly.

"What happened?" I ask hesitantly.

"She was happy, but she wasn't completely there. And then she started regretting leaving and broke down. I've never seen her as happy as I've seen her with all of you. She has a family with you. You know she hasn't had that since she was twelve," she informs.

"Her mom's coming here in a few days, so hopefully she'll have that part of her life sorted out soon," I tell them.

"Really?" Jessica asks shocked. "Bella hasn't mentioned that."

"It probably slipped her mind," Tanya assures her.

"That kind of thing wouldn't slip her mind," Jess murmurs.

"Don't take it personally, honey," Tanya soothes, tucking a strand of Jessica's hair behind her ear.

"She hasn't really had the chance to talk to any of you about it, which is partly my fault."

"Partly," Alice scoffs. "It's your entire fault; you're taking up all her time."

"Jealous much?" I tease.

"Selfish much?" she retorts.

"Who's selfish?" Bella asks as she walks back into the room with a tray of potato bake.

"YUMMM!" Emmett exclaims, jumping out of his chair and running to the table.

"Edward is," Alice says, continuing our conversation.

"Why?" Bella asks, laughing lightly.

"For taking up all your time," Rose says.

"Oh," Bella says softly. "Yeah, I'm really sorry about that."

"You can't help it, babe, you're in love," says Tanya.

"When were you gonna tell us about Renee coming back?" Jessica asks abruptly. Bella's eyes widen in shock for a split second before she composes herself and sits back down next to me.

"I actually forgot about that for a few days to be honest."

"See, I told you it just slipped her mind," Tanya says, poking Jessica in the side of the ribs.

"I was gonna tell you tonight, though," Bella assures Jess. "After dinner."

"Sorry, I kind of just sprung it on them," I tell her, smiling apologetically at her. She smiles softly at me before leaning into my side.

"It's okay, it's not like it was some big secret I didn't want anyone to know."

"Like what you and Eddie get up to in the bedroom?" Emmett asks, waggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up, dickhead," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Not that we even do anything in the bedroom," Bella murmurs under her breath, causing me to laugh hysterically. Bella's cheeks go bright red as everyone looks over at us in bewilderment.

"What's so funny?" Jasper asks.

"Nothing," Bella murmurs.

"Were you speaking dirty under your breath?" Emmett asks skeptically.

"What?" Bella exclaims. "No!" she adds, mortified.

"I love you," I tell her, leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. Everyone in the room begins to laugh at her expense, causing her to lay down on the couch and bury her face in my lap.

"Whoa, Bella, not in public!" Emmett booms, laughing hysterically afterwards.

Bella sits up abruptly, her cheeks flushing deeper as she groans in embarrassment, slinging her legs over mine and resting her forehead on my shoulder as she covers her face with her hands.

* * *

After Emmett is done tormenting Bella, and we all have our lunch, we all fall back into a comfortable conversation. Jessica and Tanya sit next to Bella and I so Jessica and Bella could talk about Renee retuning to Forks. Jessica was really close with Bella and her mother. When Renee left, it affected Jessica as well, but Bella was too wrapped up in her own pain and confusion that she never noticed. The two of them have a hushed conversation about what it's going to be like when Renee comes back, how they're going to react, what they're going to ask her. It's like the two of them are real sisters.

"We should have the party for Bella tomorrow night," Alice says, catching everyone's attention.

"What party?" Bella asks hesitantly.

"You know, your official welcome home party," Alice says expectantly.

"I've been back for nearly a month," Bella replies.

"Yes, and we went shopping a few weeks ago for it, remember?" Alice says.

"Yeah. You and I snuck off to the cheaper shops," Rose adds.

"Right," Bella murmurs. "Well, who are you going to invite apart from all of you guys? I have no friends," she adds.

"Don't worry about it, I've already organized everything," Alice says cheerfully.

"Who have you invited?" Bella asks suspiciously.

"You'll see," says Rose.

"Guys…" Bella says hesitantly.

"Don't worry about it, you're going to love it," Alice says confidently.

"I'll tell you who she's invited later," Tanya whispers to Bella loud enough so Alice can still hear.

"If you value your life, you won't say a word," Alice says seriously.

"Oh, scary," Tanya taunts, laughing lightly.

"Alice will seriously hurt you if you ruin her plans," says Rose. "She may look small, pixie-like and innocent, but she's a feisty little monster when she wants to be," she adds.

"That, I am," Alice says proudly.

"Right." Tanya replies, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, babe, we should probably head back home," Tanya says to Bella.

"Yeah, okay," Bella says reluctantly, standing up off the couch. I stand with her and entwine our hands together.

"Keep your mouth shut, Tanya!" Alice shouts as we walk away and out the front door. Jessica and Tanya laugh together as they walk to their car.

I rest my hands on Tanya's car, on each side of Bella's face as she leans against the door.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks questioningly.

"Mhmm," I reply, laughing lightly.

"What?" she asks deviously.

"Nothing, you're just beautiful."

"Right," she murmurs.

"Yes, I will see you tomorrow," I assure her, leaning forward and pressing my lips to hers softly. She passionately kisses me back, her hands wrapping around my neck and pulling me flush against her body. I run my hands into her hair and tilt her head back to deepen the kiss. She parts her lips for me and I dart my tongue into her mouth, a moan escaping her lips at the contact.

Tanya honks the car horn, causing Bella and I to abruptly break apart. She smiles sheepishly at me as her chest rises and falls rapidly while she tries to catch her breath.

"I love you," I tell her, kissing her on the cheek before opening the car door for her.

"I love you too," she replies, smiling softly before kissing me on the lips and hopping into the car.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter is so late, guys! My Beta and I have been really busy! But, the good news is, over the last three weeks, I've written the last five chapters of Coming Undone and it is now complete! :D So, the last five chapters should be posted on time now :)**

**It's such a crazy feeling, I can't believe it's really complete. Well, technically it's not yet, because I still have to post it on here... But still :)**

**Thank you all so much for your encouragement, support and beautiful reviews. It really means so, so much to me. I never thought I'd never write fanfic, but now I have and I actually finished the story. I'm just so happy :D**

**- nat x**


	41. Surprise Visitors

**Note: **brace yourselves, guys. This chapter is a looooong one!

**Bella's clothes: **http:/i41 . /2igynax . jpg  
**Tanya's clothes: **http:/i39 . tinypic . com/23ws8s2 . jpg

* * *

_**Chapter Forty One **__–__ (Surprise Visitors)_

_**BPOV**_

* * *

I'm woken up from my whole body being shaken by Tanya. I blink my eyes open to see she's sitting on top of me, a grin on her face.

"Hey, sleepy head."

"Mmm," I hum. "What time is it?" I ask, my voice still thick with sleep.

"Nearly midday."

"What?" I ask shocked. "Really?"

"Yeah, you slept in a bit."

"Why didn't you wake me earlier?"

"I only woke up just over an hour go, myself," she replies through a laugh.

"Oh."

"Come on, I'll make you a coffee while you get dressed," she says, smiling kindly at me before climbing off my bed.

"What time are we going to Edward's?" I ask.

"Probably after you get dressed and we have some brunch."

"Okay, cool," I reply as I climb out of bed. "I'll be out in a minute," I add as she walks out of my room.

As I get dressed, I think about everything that happened yesterday. The graduation ceremony was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The school held it out on the school oval, with decorations in our school colours and everything. I was so proud of Rose getting Valedictorian. Everyone was in complete shock when the principal announced it. Well, except for Emmett. He sees a completely different side to her that everyone else doesn't and he loves her and believes in her so much that I don't think anything about her would ever surprise him.

When Edward told Rose he was proud of her and that he loves her no matter what, I couldn't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. It was such a heartfelt, beautiful moment and I'm glad I was able to witness it. When we all arrived back to the house, we discussed with Rose, Emmett and Jasper what they're going to do now that they've finished school. Tanya asked them what colleges they've applied for and what they want to study when they go there.

The thought of those three leaving for college saddens me so much. I'm going to miss them beyond words that can even explain. Rose turned the subject back onto me, Edward, Jess and Alice, asking us what colleges we're thinking of applying to for next year. The whole thought of leaving for college absolutely terrifies me. I don't want to leave; I want to stay close to everyone. These guys are my family now, I don't ever want to be away from them.

When I said I actually thought about going to California for college — because I want to be close to Kate, Garrett, Felix and Alec again — I was so scared of Edward's reaction. But he surprised me once again, saying California sounds perfect and he'd love to go to college there. That made me feel bad, though. As much as I want to be with him forever, I don't want him to settle for the college I choose just so he can stay with me.

Alice mentioned we should have my welcome home party tomorrow night, even though I've nearly been back for a month already. She said she's got it all covered and already got the invitation list organized as well. She wouldn't tell me who she's invited, though. Tanya said she knows who's invited but when I asked her when we got in the car, she said she doesn't know the whole list and the names she heard are people I know from school. I don't know if she was telling the truth, or just saying that because she's afraid of what Alice will do to her.

I laugh to myself as I walk out into the kitchen to meet Tanya. She turns around and quirks her brow.

"What's so funny?" she asks, placing my cup of coffee on the kitchen island as I sit down on one of the stools.

"Just picturing Alice attacking you if you told me who was invited tonight."

"I'm not afraid of that little pixie," she scoffs.

"You should be."

"Is that right?"

"Yep," I reply, folding my arms on top of the island. "I wouldn't wanna piss her off."

"I'm sorry, but who's the nearly twenty year old here?"

"What? When's your birthday?" I exclaim.

"In a few weeks."

"This March?" I ask incredulously. "Why have you never told me when your birthday is?"

"Because it doesn't matter."

"It does so matter! What day is it?"

"The eighteenth," she replies. "Why?" she asks skeptically.

"So I know when it is and don't forget."

"You're not gonna plan any surprises are you?" she asks hesitantly.

"Maybe."

"Bella," she wines. "Please don't."

"Why?" I pout. "We have to at least have a dinner or something."

"Fine," she says, sighing heavily.

"I can't believe I never knew when your birthday was," I mumble.

"Seriously, it's fine. It's my fault anyway. I didn't even think to mention it."

"I guess I know what you mean," I reply, taking a sip of my coffee. "I always try to avoid my birthday like the plague."

"Or any kind of celebration that involves you."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Anyway," she says, "Are you ready to head off?" she asks.

"Yeah, just let me brush my teeth," I reply, drinking the rest of my coffee, placing my mug in the sink and running down the hall to the bathroom. I brush my teeth quickly and rinse my mouth with water before heading back into the lounge room.

"Let's go," she says, grabbing her keys off the counter and walking out the front door.

* * *

When we arrive at the Cullen's, Alice is waiting out on the front steps for us.

"Finally!" she exclaims, running down the stairs as we hop out of the car.

"Calm down, Alice, it's only after one," says Tanya.

"I told you to have her here at twelve."

"She was really tired, okay? I let her sleep in."

"Why didn't you drag her out as soon as she woke up?"

"Because if she did that," I say, giving Alice a stern look. "I wouldn't have had my morning coffee, and I would have been in a foul mood and difficult to handle."

"Fine," Alice replies, sighing heavily before turning her back on us and running back up the stairs. I glance at Tanya and she rolls her eyes before we follow after Alice.

When we walk through the front door and head into the living room, Emmett is rearranging furniture, Jasper is hanging streamers, Rose is blowing up balloons and Alice is rushing around, putting flowers in vases. She looks up at us as we enter the room and smiles kindly before heading over to Rose, then Jasper and walking back over to us.

"Here," she says, shoving a bunch of streamers and balloons in mine and Tanya's hands. "You guys can help with this."

"Where do you want everything?" I ask.

"Just blow the balloons up and leave them on the floor, I'll pick a few up and place them around the house and outside."

"What about the rest of the balloons?" I ask confused.

"They'll just be left on the floor."

"Won't they pop?"

"No, Bella," Alice says through a laugh before looking at Tanya. "Tanya, if you could just head over to Jazz and ask him how the streamers have to be hung and where, that'd be great," she adds kindly.

"Sure thing, boss," Tanya jokes, grinning at Alice before walking over to Jasper.

"Am I just blowing up balloons?" I ask.

"I'm sure there's something else in the house you can blow," Emmett snickers. I glance over at him and narrow my eyes.

"Emmett," Rose says sternly.

"Aw, don't worry, baby. You can do some blowin' later too," says Emmett, winking at her. I glance over at Rose to see her picking up a role of sticky tape and pegging it at him. She does it so fast that he doesn't see it coming and it hits him in the arm.

"Owe! Rose!" he shouts, rubbing his arm.

"Well," she scoffs. "Don't be such a filthy pig," she scolds.

"Guys, cut it out!" Alice shouts.

"Whoa. Calm down, tiger," Rose says.

"Rosalie," Alice says in a tone I've never heard before. "Do not test me."

"Sorry," Rose mumbles before turning her back on us and continuing to blow up balloons.

"Anyway," says Alice. "I didn't invite many people, because I knew you wouldn't be comfortable with a lot of people coming."

"Thanks, Alice," I say gratefully.

"I sent out an email and text to the people who are invited."

"Oh, god," I groan. "It's not gonna get around is it?"

"The people invited aren't like that," she assures.

"You did invite people I know, right?" I ask hesitantly.

"Of course!" she responds, laughing lightly. "Do you want to start decorating the staircase?"

"Yeah, sure," I reply, smiling kindly at her. "Wait, what do you want me to do?"

"Just wrap the streamers around the banisters in a diagonal motion. Then tie two balloons together and put them on each side of the bottom of the staircase, then just tie a few more balloons on top of the handrail."

"Right," I murmur.

"You'll be fine," she says, laughing lightly and smiling at me before pushing me lightly on the back in the direction of the staircase.

* * *

I start at the top of the staircase where it winds around to the right that leads up another level. I don't think anyone is allowed to be upstairs, so I don't bother decorating that part of the staircase. I make my way down the stairs, blowing up the balloons and tying them to the handrail before wrapping the rest of the streamers around the banister as I continue to make my way down the stairs. When I've finished the right side, I climb my way back upstairs and repeat the notion with the left side. Once I've finished and I'm tying the conjoined balloons around the front balusters, I hear the top stair squeak. I glance up to see Edward watching me. He smirks before continuing his way down the stairs.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hey," I reply, grinning at him when he reaches the floor and stands in front of me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Alice got you working hard, huh?"

"She sure is," I reply, leaning against the staircase. "Why aren't you helping?" I ask, quirking my brow.

"I was helping."

"Oh, yeah? Doing what?" I ask.

"It's secret," he replies, winking at me. I screw my nose up before folding my arms across my chest.

"You know I hate surprises."

"You won't hate this one," he says confidently, closing the distance between us, placing his hands on my hips and pulling me closer to him. I stand on my toes as I lean up and wrap my arms around his neck, keeping my eyes locked with his.

"Is that so?"

"Mm-hmm," he replies, smirking at me before leaning down and pressing his mouth to mine.

I smile against his lips before kissing him back and running my hands into his hair to pull him closer. He runs his hands down my back, over my ass and under my thighs before lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his hips as he carries me in his arms, walking backwards before turning around and placing me down on the dining room table. He breaks away and leans forward, planting soft kisses along my neck. His hands rush into my hair as I tilt my head to give him easier access. I run my hands down his chest, running my hands under his shirt and around his waist to his back. My palms flat against his back as I pull him closer to me.

I hear the footsteps of Alice approaching but I don't pull away.

"What is going on?" she demands. "Edward, you can't just come downstairs and start distracting her!" she adds, but we still don't acknowledge her. "Did you even finish doing what I asked you to do?" she asks. "Edward!" she shouts frantically.

Edward lets out a heavy sigh before pulling away and glancing over at her. "Yes, I finished. Everything is set, so calm down," he says soothingly.

"What's set?" I ask suspiciously.

"Nothing, get back to work," she snaps.

"Alice, don't be so harsh," Edward scolds her. "It's _her _party."

"Right. Sorry," she mumbles. "Thanks for doing the staircase, Bella. It looks great," she says kindly, smiling at me before walking away.

As soon as she's out of the room, Edward turns around and connects his lips to mine again. My lips part for him, and his tongue darts inside my mouth. I let out a moan as our tongues connect, running my hands up his chest before wrapping them around his neck again. He places his index finger under my chin, tilting it back so he can deepen the kiss. I sit up straighter until my chest is flush against his.

He pulls away and cups my face in his hands. "You wanna head upstairs?" he asks.

"What?" I ask shocked.

"Do you want to go upstairs…" he says slowly, sounding a little confused.

"Really? Are you sure?" When a look of confusion covers his face, I become a little confused myself. "Wait, what for?"

"To pick out the music," he says, quirking his brow.

"So, I mean, have you changed your mind?" I ask softly, climbing off the table and entwining my hand with his.

His eyes widen in shock as he finally understands what I thought he meant. "No, Bella," he says, laughing lightly.

"Oh," I say disappointedly, pouting my lips.

He laughs, smiling at me before pulling me over to him. "You sound disappointed, baby," he says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear with his free hand.

"Well, yeah," I mumble, shrugging my shoulders.

"You're so adorable," he says, lifting my chin up with his thumb.

"Am not," I murmur, embarrassed.

"All in good time, baby," he says, winking at me before leaning down and kissing me softly on the lips. "Come on," he adds, walking a head of me and pulling me by our entwined hands.

"Fineee," I groan, taking heavy steps as I follow after him.

* * *

"How much music do we need, anyway?" I ask mere minutes later.

"As much as you want."

"Okay, and what kind?"

"Babe, it's your party."

"Yeah, but I can't just have music that I like."

"Why not?"

"Because not everyone likes the same stuff," I say. "Can't you just pick the music for me?" I complain.

"Just pick a variety then," he says through a laugh. "Here, put the CDs in there," he adds, placing a cardboard box on the desk in front of me and kissing me on the cheek before walking away again.

I turn around, leaning back against his desk and watch him as he sits on his leather couch and fumbles around with his laptop.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Stuff," he says, glancing up and smirking at me.

"Like?" I ask, quirking my brow.

"Stuff you're not allowed to know about."

"Ugh, more surprises?" I groan.

"Yep."

"You suck."

"You love me."

"Unfortunately," I mumble, folding my arms across my chest.

"What was that?" he asks, closing his laptop and stalking his way towards me.

"Nothing," I reply, pursing my lips.

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm," I bite my bottom lip, trying to keep myself from laughing.

"I don't think you mind being in love with me," he says, closing the distance between us and running his hands into my hair.

"I guess it's not _that _bad," I reply, wrapping my arms around his waist and grinning up at him.

"Thought so," he says, his face hovering just inches in front of mine. I smile against his lips when his mouth connects with mine. He kisses me slowly, every movement filled with love and adoration, causing my smile to morph into a grin. He pulls away and returns the gesture, kissing me softly on the temple.

"Come on, let's head back downstairs," he says, picking up the box with the CDs, placing it under his right arm and entwining his left hand with mine before leading us out of his room.

* * *

Edward kisses me on the cheek before leaving me and heading into the living room to help set up the stereo system with Emmett. When I walk into the kitchen, Esme is working hard, cooking a bunch of meals.

She looks up, smiling kindly at me as I enter.

"Esme, you really didn't have to do this."

"Oh, I don't mind."

"No, I know. But if Alice is telling the truth when she says it's a small party, then we probably won't need so much food."

"It's really no problem at all, Bella."

"Okay. Well, do you need any help?" I ask kindly.

"That'd be great, honey. Thanks," she replies gratefully.

"What do you need me to do?"

"If you could just chop up the vegetables for the quiche and then maybe organize the appetizer platter, that'd be really helpful," she says, as she rushes around the kitchen.

"No problem," I reply, smiling affectionately at her.

"So, are you excited about tonight?" she asks sweetly.

"I'm not really the partying type," I reply hesitantly, causing her to glance at me. "Every time I've been at a party, it didn't end very well," I add, smiling sheepishly.

"Are you referring to Thanksgiving?" she asks softly.

"And Jake's party," I murmur.

"Bella, that's all in the past."

"I know," I reply, shrugging my shoulders. "But it doesn't change the fact that it's true. Some form of drama always seems to find me."

"None of the people coming tonight will cause any drama, sweetheart," she assures me. "And besides, Alice won't let anything or anyone ruin your night."

"That, I can believe," I reply, laughing lightly.

"She cares about you a great deal, that girl."

"I know. I care about her too; she's my best friend," I say. "So is Rose," I add softly.

"You're apart of our family now, Bella, I hope you know that," she says sincerely.

"I do," I reply quietly, smiling tenderly at her.

"Good," she says, closing the distance between us and embracing me in a hug.

"Thanks for everything, Esme," I whisper as I hug her back. "You've become like the mom I lost."

"Oh, honey," her voice breaks with emotion. When she pulls out of the embrace, she has tears in her eyes. I smile apologetically at her as she wipes at her eyes. "I'll always be here whenever you need anything, Bella, no mater what."

"Thank you," I reply softly, my eyes stinging as the tears begin to well up in my eyes.

"Oh, don't cry, sweetie. I'm sorry."

"No, its okay," I reply, smiling reassuringly at her.

"You have such a beautiful soul. Edward is very lucky to have you."

"I don't know about that," I murmur. "I think I'm the lucky one," I add honestly.

"Bell-aaaaa," Alice calls in a sing song voice as she enters the kitchen.

"Sorry, Mom, but we're stealing Bella away to get ready," says Rosalie.

"What?" I ask confused. "What's the time?"

"It's after three," Tanya says.

"Already?" I ask shocked.

"Time flies when you're having fun!" Alice exclaims, kissing Esme on the cheek before walking over to me and entwining her arm through mine. "Come on," she says, leading me out of the kitchen.

I turn my head and smile apologetically at Esme, as Rosalie and Tanya both give her a kiss on the cheek and follow Alice and I. Edward is leaning against the wall next to the front door when we walk out of the kitchen. He smirks knowingly at me before kicking himself off the wall with his foot and making his way over to us.

Alice lets out a heavy sigh before rolling her eyes. "Make it quick," she says, giving Edward a knowing look before walking out the front door. Rosalie follows after her, and Tanya lingers on the front steps to wait for me.

"You going to get ready?" Edward asks, wrapping is arms around my waist.

"Apparently."

"You don't sound very happy about that."

"I'm not too fond of playing Bella Barbie."

He laughs lightly and smiles affectionately at me. "I know, but try and enjoy tonight okay, baby? Alice has gone to a lot of trouble. This is kind of her way of saying thank you for coming back."

"I didn't think of it that way," I murmur.

"You better go get ready before Alice comes back in here and releases her wrath on me."

"Okay," I say through a laugh, standing on my toes to lean up and peck him softly on the lips.

"I'll see you later," he says, pulling away and kissing me lightly on the cheek. I grin at him before turning and walking away.

Tanya is still waiting for me when I walk out the front door.

"Hey, you ready?" she asks.

"HURRY UP!" Alice shouts from the car.

"Shut up, we're coming!" Tanya shouts back as we make our way down the stairs.

I laugh lightly to myself as we climb inside the car and Alice and Tanya continue to bicker back and forth.

* * *

We've been in my room for nearly two hours, trying to find something for me to wear to the party. Every time I hold something up for Alice, she scrunches up her nose and shakes her head before leaping into a rant about why it's not the right dress for tonight.

I let out a heavy sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose before turning around to face her.

"Why do I even have to dress up if it's just a small party?" I complain.

"Because you're the guest of honor," Alice says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"You _have_ to look amazing," Rose adds.

"She should be allowed to wear whatever she wants, but okay," Tanya mumbles.

"I heard that," Alice says, letting out a heavy sigh. "Bella, you _can_ wear whatever you want."

"Just as long as you approve, right?" I ask.

"Exactly," Alice responds, smiling innocently.

"Fine," I huff, turning my back on them to search through my closet once again. I find a blue and black printed mini-dress that I've never worn before. I search the bottom of my closet until I find my black, open foot ankle boots to go with it.

"What about this?" I ask, holding the dress and shoes up for Alice.

"Yes!" she exclaims. "That's perfect."

"Thank god," I say gratefully, placing the dress and shoes on my bed.

"Okay, well you get changed and I'll go set up the make-up on the kitchen island," Alice says as she makes her way out of my room.

"Don't worry, I'll make her keep your make-up light and simple," Rose assures me.

"Thanks, Rose, are you gonna do my hair?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I wasn't thinking anything big, just out with a few curls?" I question.

"Yeah, I can do that. We can pin a few of the strands from the front back as well, if you want?"

"Sounds good," I tell her, smiling kindly. She returns the gesture before heading out of my room as well.

"Alright, well I'm gonna go get ready too," Tanya says, making her way to my door.

"What are you wearing?"

"Just an off the shoulder, teal mini-dress with a thin chain belt."

"Oh, that one you bought in Cali?"

"That's the one," she replies, smiling brightly at me before turning around and closing the door behind her as she leaves the room.

I head into my bathroom to have a quick shower. I squirt my strawberry body lotion onto the loofa and begin washing my body. I scrub my legs and lather them up with soap before turning the faucet off while I shave my legs. When I'm done in the shower, I dry myself quickly, wrap the towel around me and walk over to sit down on my bed. I grab my moisturizer off my bedside table and apply it to my legs before getting dressed.

I pick my shoes up off my bed and carry them as I make my way down the hall and into the living room. Alice has a few make-up products scattered on the kitchen island. It's a lot less than I was expecting.

"Your dress is really nice so I'm just gonna keep your make-up light," Alice says, smiling brightly at me.

When I glance over at Rosalie, she gives me a knowing wink. I smile thankfully at her before sitting on the stool in front of Alice. She begins to fumble around with the different products, picking up a round, chunky cylinder that has powder in it. She opens it, dips the brush into the container and dabs the brush onto the back of her hand before applying it to my face. I close my eyes as she moves the brush in a circular motion, the brush is so soft on my skin I'm afraid of falling asleep.

Once Alice is done with the powder, she tells me to open my eyes. She applies eyeliner, a black and grey eye-shadow and white shiny, glittering kind of eye shadow in the corner and under my eyes before using the eyelash curler and putting on the mascara. When she's done with my eyes, she pulls out a blush kit, with all different shades of pink, red and brown. She dabs the blush brush onto the colour that's cross between red and a light brown.

"Make fish lips," she says, holding the brush in front of my face.

"What?" I ask confused.

"Suck your cheek in until you look like a fish, it applies the blush better."

"Oh," I mumble, obeying her command.

She places the brush at my temple, turning it in a circular motion as she makes her way down my cheek bones. She picks up three lipsticks, a white one, a bright red one, and a lighter red one. She takes the white one and holds it to my lips. I quirk my brow at her in confusion and purse my lips.

"It's just the undercoat, Bella. It'll keep the lipstick on all night," she assures me. I roll my eyes before opening my mouth as wide as it will go. She applies undercoat lipstick, before choosing the lighter red – thank god, because I really don't want to look like a clown – and applying it on top.

"Okay, you're done," she says cheerfully.

"Really?" I ask, shocked.

"Yep, that's it. I told you I was keeping it light."

"Oh, okay then."

"Do you still want me to do your hair?" asks Rosalie from the couch.

"Please," I say, hopping off the stool and walking over to her. I sit down on the floor, my back resting against her legs.

"So, just a few curls and a bit pinned back?" she asks.

"Yeah, if that's okay?" I question.

"Sounds good," she replies.

Rosalie takes small strands of my hair, curling them and straightening them. I close my eyes as her hands work through my hair. Rosalie should be a hairdresser; she's got such gentle hands and certainly knows how to handle hair properly. When she's done curling and straightening, she runs her fingers through my hair to make sure it all meshes together properly. She grabs the front parts of my hair, braids it and then pins it at the side of my head, curling the hair that's left over from the braid.

"Okay, done," she says picking up a mirror from the coffee table and holding it in front of her. I turn around to face her, my eyes going wide at the reflection in front of me.

"Do you like it?" she asks uncertainly.

"I love it, Rose, thanks," I reply, smiling up at her. "My hair has never looked as good as this before."

"You have really nice hair."

"Not as nice as yours. It's so long and beautiful."

"So is yours," she insists, laughing lightly.

"What do you think of your make-up?" Alice asks as she makes her way over to us.

I glance back at my reflection, the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile. Alice has a gift when it comes to doing people's make-up. She kept it light, but she still made sure to accentuate my eyes and cheekbones.

"It's perfect, thank you," I say, standing up and embracing her in a hug.

She entwines her arms around my waist. "You're welcome," she says softly, squeezing me lightly before releasing me.

"Guy's, it's after six. Are we heading off now, or?" Tanya says as she walks into the living room.

"Whoa. You look great," I tell her.

"Not as good as you," she says sincerely. "You're one hot little minx!"

"Thanks," I reply, shaking my head in amusement. "But seriously, you look really nice, Tan."

"Thanks, Bella," she says appreciatively, grinning at me.

* * *

It's six thirty PM by the time we get back to the Cullen house. I ask Alice what time the party starts and nearly freak out when she says it started at six o'clock.

"It's your party, Bella, you're meant to be fashionably late," she insists, rolling her eyes.

"Ten or fifteen minutes, maybe, but half an hour, Alice?" I ask incredulously. "I don't think it works that way,"

"It's a welcome home party. You have to arrive after everyone else," says Rose.

When I walk through the doors with the girls,everyone cheers and shouts 'welcome home Bella'. I cover my face with my hands in embarrassment. When I uncover my face, I glance around the room to see a lot of familiar faces. Angela, Sarah, Chelsea, Bianca and Ben from school. Jake, Embry, Seth and Leah from the reservation.

When I scan the rest of the room my eyes finally meet Edward's. He's leaning up against the kitchen archway, his eyes widening for a second as he takes in my appearance. His eyes roam up and down my body until meeting my eyes again. His infamous smirk makes itself known as he makes his way over to me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he winds his arms around my waist.

"You look beautiful," he whispers, dipping his head down to kiss me softly.

"Thanks," I murmur against his lips, a grin forming on my face when he pulls away.

"I don't think I'm going to see much of you tonight."

"Why would you think that?"

"You have a lot of mingling to do."

"You can do it with me," I reply softly, shrugging my shoulders and glancing up at him through my lashes.

"You have some catching up to do with a few people."

"What are you talking about?" I ask confused.

"You'll see," he says mischievously.

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask suspiciously.

He shakes his head in amusement and laughs lightly to himself. "Come on, lets go say hi to everyone," he says, entwining his hand with mine and leading me over to Angela, Sarah, Chelsea and Bianca. They smile politely at me as we make our way over to them.

"Hey, guys, thanks for coming," I say kindly, returning their smiles.

"Oh, that's okay. Thanks for inviting us," says Angela.

"I didn't even know who was coming, to be honest," I reply.

"Oh, was it a surprise party?" Bianca asks.

"You could say that," I reply.

"Everything looks _so _beautiful," says Chelsea.

"Alice has gone all out on you, you're so lucky to have her as a friend," adds Sarah.

"Alice is everybody's friend," Edward says, causing the girls to laugh lightly.

"She sure is an extremely happy person," says Angela.

"That she is," I agree, grinning at her. She returns the gesture before taking a sip of her drink.

"I love you dress, Bella," Chelsea says,

"Where did you get it?" Bianca asks.

"Oh," I say shocked. "I got it when I was in California."

"It looks so good on you," Sarah says.

"It's not that great," I murmur embarrassed.

"When will you see yourself clearly?" Edward asks. "You're beautiful," he adds, kissing me on the cheek before wrapping his arms around my waist and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"That is so sweet," Angela says sincerely.

"So sweet," Bianca says, her voice breaking with emotion. "I'm sorry, I need to use the bathroom," she adds before abruptly walking away.

"She just broke up with her boyfriend," Chelsea explains.

"Oh, that's horrible," I say sadly.

"I should go check on her," Sarah says, smiling politely at us before running after Bianca.

"I hope I can find someone who will love me as much as you love Bella," says Angela.

"You'll find someone, Ang," Edward assures her, smiling graciously at her.

"I hope so," she says through a sigh.

"What about Ben?" I ask.

"What?" Angela asks confused.

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about Ben! Yes, he has the biggest crush on you!" Chelsea says excitedly, grinning at Angela.

"Really?" Angela asks hesitantly.

"I always see him staring at you," Edward says.

"Yeah, he always looks like he wants to go up and talk to you, but then he just lets out a sigh and slumps down in his seat," I say.

"He's here tonight, you should talk to him," Edward encourages.

"You think so?" she asks uncertainly.

"Totally," says Chelsea. "Come on, let's go. I'll be your wing-woman," she adds excitedly, entwining her arm through Angela's and dragging her away.

"Bye, guys," I say as they walk away. Angela turns her head and smiles politely at me, giving me a small wave goodbye.

I turn around in Edward's arms and tilt my head back to look up at him. He smiles devilishly at me before leaning down and placing his mouth against mine. I smile against his lips, running my hands up his chest and around his neck. Someone clears their throat, causing me to tersely pull away from Edward. When I turn around, I see Jacob standing in front of us with a smirk on his face.

"Oh, it's just you," I say flippantly.

"Well, It's nice to see you, too," he replies.

"Hey, man," Edward says, extending his hand out to Jake. Jake takes it and pulls Edward into a hug before releasing him. I laugh lightly, shaking my head in amusement before closing the distance between us and embracing him in a hug.

"How are you?" I ask sincerely.

"Yeah, good," he says nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Hey, Bella! Edward," Seth says enthusiastically, Leah and Embry flanking him.

"Hey Seth, thanks for coming," I reply. "Same goes for you guys," I add, smiling kindly at them.

"No problem, Bells," says Leah. "Hey what's Forks High like? I'm thinking of transferring there because the Res is just so…"

"Boring?" asks Seth.

"Small?" questions Embry.

"Lack of man candy?" Jake jokes.

"Funny," Leah replies sarcastically. "I was thinking more along the lines of lonely. I've got hardly any friends there."

"Maybe if you weren't such a bitch to everyone–"

"And didn't make out with everyone's boyfriends," Jake says, cutting Seth off.

"Hey! That's not true!" she exclaims.

"Yes it is," Jake insists, his body shaking with laughter.

"Jake, don't be rude," I scold him.

"You are such a prick!" Leah says, punching Jake in the arm and actually making him wince from the blow. He rubs the spot where she hit him and narrows his eyes at her.

"You have friends at the Res, Lee-lee," says Embry.

"Only you guys," she mumbles.

"Forks High isn't that great, but if you do transfer, you're more than welcome to hang out with us," I assure her.

"Thanks, Bella," she says, smiling appreciatively at me. "See! I'm not a bitch," she adds, glaring at Seth.

"Yet," he responds, laughing along with Jake.

"Seth, leave her alone," Embry says seriously, wrapping his arm around Leah's shoulders and pulling her into him. She wraps her arms around his waist and smiles up at him.

I glance up at Edward and quirk my brow at him, his mouth turns up into a smirk, confirming my suspicions that Embry and Leah both have a thing for each other.

"Anyway, how are things with you and Billy?" I ask Jake.

"We're starting to sort a few things out, I guess."

"That's good. I hate that you're fighting because of me."

"Don't start that again, Bella," he says exasperatedly.

"Well, it's true!"

"It's not because of you, it's because he's an idiot who can't see that what Charlie did was wrong," he says seriously.

"Right," I murmur.

"What did Charlie do?" Seth asks confused.

"Nothing," says Embry quickly.

"It doesn't sound like nothing," says Seth.

"And it doesn't concern you," Leah says sternly.

"Why not?" he asks.

"Just drop it, mate," Embry says.

"None of you tell me anything!" Seth complains.

"Seth, just shut up!" Leah shouts at her little brother.

"Leah, calm down. I don't want any negativity tonight," Edward says, wrapping his arms around my chest and entwining his hands with mine.

Leah glances at Jake and gives him a pointed look.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go grab some food," Jake says to Seth, smiling apologetically at me before pulling Seth away by his arm.

"I need some air," Leah says through a sigh. "I'll see you later, guys."

"I'll come with you," Embry says eagerly.

"Okay," she says softly, smiling tenderly at him before turning and walking away.

"I think we need to get them two together," I tell Edward.

"I didn't know you were into match making," he teases.

"Well, I want everyone to be as happy as I am."

"What did I do to deserve you?" he asks, cocking his head to the side and smiling.

"I ask myself the same question about you every day," I reply, retuning his smile.

"I love you."

"I love you too," I reply quietly, smiling softly as he leans forward and kisses me on the lips.

"Bellaaaa!" Alice exclaims in her sing song voice, interrupting our moment. "I have some special guests here to see you," she adds excitedly as she skips over to us.

"Wha–"

"Don't question. Just come," she insists, cutting me off, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from Edward. When I reach out behind me to grab a hold of him, he entwines his hand with mine and tags along beside me as Alice leads us to the front door.

"Alice, what is this about?" I complain.

"Wait right here," she says before running down the stairs and pulling her phone up to her ear and spinning around to look up at us. "Edward, cover her eyes," she shouts.

I feel Edward close the distance between us until his chest is flush against my back. He covers my eyes with his hands and kisses me softly on the cheek.

"What is going on?" I ask incredulously.

"Are they here yet?" Rosalie asks as she steps outside.

"Not yet," Edward replies.

"Don't give anything away!" Alice scolds.

"It's not like she knows who we're talking about," Emmett says.

"Where are Jess and Tanya?" I ask curiously.

"Inside," says Rosalie.

"It's a surprise for Ta-"

"Shut up!" Alice exclaims, cutting Emmett off.

"Babe, calm down," Jasper says soothingly.

The sound of a very old, yet familiar puttering Chevy Truck catches my attention. My breath catches in my throat as the surprise hits me and my mind races through all the possibilities of why I'm hearing the sound of my old truck.

"Is that?" I ask breathlessly, my hand flying to my mouth.

"I think she knows now, Alice, you can hear that beast from a mile away," Emmett complains.

The puttering sound increases as it makes its way closer. I swallow the lump that's formed in my throat and try to keep my breathing under control.

"Finally," Rosalie mutters, causing my impatience to increase.

"Okay, uncover her eyes now," Alice says excitedly.

"Are you ready?" Edward whispers in my ear.

"Yes, just let me see what on earth is going on," I complain, causing him to chuckle lightly as he removes his hands from my eyes.

The corners of my mouth turn up into a grin when I see my old Chevy Truck pulling up into the Cullen's driveway.

"You got me my truck back?" I exclaim, spinning around to face everyone, a grin still plastered on my face as I turn back around to face Alice.

"Not just that," she says excitedly. "Come down here," she adds.

I make my way down the stairs and stop halfway when I take notice of the people inside the truck. Garrett climbs out of the drivers side, a huge grin on his face as his eyes meet mine.

"This is your welcome home present," Alice says softly.

I stand frozen to the spot, blinking profusely, trying to wake myself up from this dream I'm surely witnessing.

"Gazza?" I exclaim questioningly, snapping out of my stupor and running the rest of the way down the stairs.

"Hey, Bells," he greets me kindly, opening his arms as I fling myself at him. He wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground and spinning me around as I throw my arms around his neck.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I ask hysterically.

"It was a surprise," he replies, placing me back down on the ground. I keep my arms locked around his neck as tears begin to well up in my eyes and sobs rock my body.

"Hey, why are you crying?" he asks alarmed, pulling away to look at me.

"I've missed you so much," I whisper.

"I missed you too, little sister," he says, smiling softly at me. He cups my face in his hands and wipes the tears away with his thumbs before planting a kiss on my forehead. "You have some more people to see, little one."

I turn around as Kate makes her way over to me. A grin forms on her face as I close the distance between us and envelop her in my arms.

"Hey, Katie."

"Hey, beautiful, how are you?" she asks softly, kissing me on the cheek.

"I'm good."

"Are you happy?" she asks sincerely.

"Yeah, I am," I reply, smiling sheepishly.

"Bellarina, my beautiful girl, come give me some love!" Alec says as he makes his way over to us.

"Ugh. You know I hate that name," I mumble.

"That's why I keep calling you it, sugar," he replies, wrapping his arms around my neck and squeezing me tightly. I giggle softly as I wrap my arms around his waist and return his hug.

"Jess, why are you dragging me outside?" Tanya whines. I glance up at the house to see Jessica pulling Tanya through the door.

"Because there's a surprise here for you."

"What are you talking about?" she complains. "Oh. Hey, Rose, Emmett, Jasper… Why is everyone outsi–" she cuts herself off when she glances down the stairs and notices her old friends.

A grin forms on my face when her eyes lock with mine and within the next second she's running down the stairs and flinging herself at Garrett, tears streaming down her face, laughing and crying hysterically. When I glance around me, I notice that Felix has disappeared. I meet Alec's eyes and quirk my brow.

"Where's Felix gone?" I whisper, the tone of my voice filled with confusion.

"He's hiding," he replies, laughing lightly. "I think he's gonna sneak up on her," he adds, inclining his head to the side. I look in that direction to see Felix walking up behind Tanya as she hugs Kate. When she pulls out of the embrace, Felix covers her eyes with his hands.

"What the?" she says confused, spinning around abruptly, her eyes going wide as she takes in his presence. "Felix!" she exclaims, jumping on top of him, flinging her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his hips.

He wraps his arms around her waist and holds her close to him, burying his face in the crook of her neck. They have a hushed conversation I can't hear from where I'm standing. I glance over at Jessica to see her expression is filled with bewilderment and confusion. I look back over at Tanya and Felix, suddenly realizing what Jessica may be thinking. To someone who hasn't witnessed the relationship Felix and Tanya share, they'd think there was something more than friendship going on between them. Tanya unwraps herself from Felix, but keeps her arms locked around his neck. I walk over to them and place my hand on Tanya's back.

"Hey, Felix."

"Hey, Bells. It's good to see you again," he replies as Tanya unwinds herself from him and wipes at her eyes.

"You too," I reply kindly. "Tanya, I think you're forgetting to introduce someone," I add softly, glancing over at Jessica.

"Oh, Jesus," she mumbles, her eyes going wide as she realizes what Jessica just witnessed. She runs over to Jessica and wraps her arms around her neck, whispering something in her ear before smiling at her.

As Tanya talks to Jessica, Edward walks over to me and pulls me into his side, kissing me softly on the cheek before entwining his hand with mine. I introduce him to Garrett, Kate, Alec and Felix. He extends his hand to Garrett and Felix and kisses Kate lightly on the cheek and smiling kindly at her. When he shakes Alec's hand, I notice he squeezes it a little harder than he did with Garrett and Felix, his eyes firm with a silent warning that I don't understand, in which the corners of Alec's mouth turns up into an amused smile. I glance up at Edward and quirk my brow. He smiles softly at me before leaning down and placing his lips behind my ear.

"You're mine," he whispers.

When he pulls away to look at me again, I roll my eyes before smiling and mouthing 'Always,' at him, which earns me a fierce kiss on the lips.

When I glance back over at Tanya and Jessica, Tanya kisses Jessica on the cheek before entwining their hands together and leading her over to where all of us stand.

"Guys, this is my beautiful girlfriend, Jess," Tanya says, smiling brightly at Jessica before looking back to Garrett, Kate, Felix and Alec.

"Hi, I've heard a lot about all of you," Jessica says shyly. "It's really nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is ours," says Kate. "We've heard a lot about you too."

"All good things I hope," Jess jokes.

"Of course," Garrett says as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Tanya hasn't said a bad word about you."

"So you're the goddess that's captured my girls heart," says Felix, a grin on his face as he looks between Tanya and Jessica.

Jessica's eyes go wide with shock for a split second before she purses her lips. "Your girl, huh?" she inquires, quirking her brow. "We'll see about that."

"Oh, she's feisty," he quips, looking at Tanya. "I bet you like that," he adds before looking back to Jessica and winking at her.

"I'm right here, I can still hear you," Jessica says, sighing heavily.

"What's wrong little one, are you worried I'm gonna steal Tanya from you?" he asks.

"No," Jessica replies confidently.

"Are you sure? I mean, she was mine first," Felix taunts.

"Bitch, I'm not a piece of property," Tanya scoffs.

"In case you haven't noticed," says Jessica curtly. "Tanya doesn't bat for your team."

"She used to," he retorts.

"What?" Jessica asks shocked.

"Felix," Tanya says through a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Leave her alone," she adds, punching him in the arm.

Felix grins at Tanya before booming with laughter and pulling Jessica into a hug. "I'm just messing with you, sweetheart," he says as he continues to laugh.

Jessica lets out a sigh of relief and visibly relaxes. "I thought I was gonna have to fight you for her," she says, laughing lightly.

"You needn't worry about me stealing Tanya from you," he assures her.

"Were you two really together, though?" Jessica asks hesitantly.

"Gross," Tanya says disgusted, screwing up her face. "Felix is like my brother,"

"We're very close," Felix adds.

"Well, let's all head back inside, shall we?" questions Jasper.

I walk back up the stairs with Kate by my side, my hand still entwined with Edward's.

"Do you like your surprise?" Alice asks as everyone heads out onto the dance floor.

"I love it," I reply, closing the distance between us and embracing her in a hug. "Thank you so much, Alice," I whisper.

"You're welcome," she replies, wrapping her arms around my waist and hugging me tightly. After pulling out of our embrace, she kisses me on the cheek before walking away.

Edward and I follow after her. Edward pulls me onto the dance floor – which he and Emmett no doubt created – smiling crookedly at me as he wraps me up in his arms. We dance together for a few songs before Garrett cuts in and asks to dance with me. I wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest as we dance.

"How have you been, beautiful?" he asks. I pull away to look up at him and smile sheepishly.

"Really good, Gazza. I'm so happy," I reply, smiling brightly.

"I'm glad to hear it," He says sincerely, kissing me on the forehead. "We've missed you at the diner. Friday night's aren't the same without you."

"I'm sorry," I mumble, looking away. He places his index finger under my chin and forces me to look at him.

"Its okay, Bella," he says, laughing lightly. "You did what was best for you. Just don't be a stranger, okay?"

"I'm planning on going to college down there."

"Really?" he asks, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile.

"Yeah," I reply, returning his smile.

"That's great. Kate will love that," he says, glancing over at her. I follow his gaze to see Tanya and Kate dancing together, their arms wrapped around each other.

"How is she?" I ask guiltily.

"She misses you and Tanya terribly, but she's doing well, Bella. You don't have to worry about her."

"I can't help it, though," I murmur.

"I know," he says chuckling lightly. "Edward seems like a great man, seems to make you happy enough."

"He makes me very happy," I confess, smiling sheepishly.

"Good," he says. "Otherwise I'd have to whip him into shape," he says seriously, quirking his brow.

I roll my eyes. "You haven't said anything like that to him, have you?" I ask cautiously.

"Maybe," he says, pursing his lips.

"Garrett!" I exclaim, swatting him on the chest with the palm of my hand.

"I'm kidding," he says, his body shaking with laughter.

"Don't do that to me," I say breathlessly as he continues to laugh. I shake my head at him, the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile.

"My turn," Alec says, interrupting Garrett and I.

"I'm gonna be all danced out by the end of the night," I complain.

"Oh well," Alec says nonchalantly, grinning at me.

I let out a sigh before hugging Garrett and turning to face Alec. I place my left hand on his shoulder, entwining my right with his left. He places his hand on my waist and as we move to the music, his hand slips lower and lower down to my hip. I quirk my brow at him before grabbing his hand and moving it back up to my waist, causing him to smirk at me.

"Behave," I warn.

"I am," he says innocently.

"Do you want Edward to beat you up?"

"He seems very possessive over you,"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, he doesn't seem to like you having male friends."

"I'm friends with Jasper and Emmett."

"That aren't his brothers," he says pointedly.

"We've been through a lot, okay? I'm the same with him. He's mine and I'm his," I say flustered. "Besides, I have plenty of male friends."

"No need to get defensive," he says chuckling lightly. "And who?"

"Jake, Embry, Seth, You, Felix, Garrett, Demetri…"

"Okay, Garrett, Felix and I live in California," he says quirking his brow. "Edward doesn't seem to like me much."

"That's because you're a trouble maker."

"I am not."

"Why are you even saying this stuff to me?" I ask softly.

"Because I care about you," he says seriously.

"You don't need to worry about me. Edward treats me perfectly and he makes me happy. I love him and he loves me, okay?"

"Okay," he says, letting out a sigh. "Wait, who's Demetri?" he asks confused.

"He's a friend. I met him at a hotel when I was traveling."

"Does Edward know about him?"

"Yes," I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Where's Demetri tonight?"

"I don't know," I reply sadly.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward asks concerned.

"I'm fine," I assure, smiling at him. He returns the gesture before glancing at Alec.

"I'm stealing my girlfriend back now," he says curtly, entwining his hand with mine and pulling me into his arms.

"I'll talk to you later, Alec. Thanks for coming," I say softly, smiling apologetically at him.

"Anytime, Bells," he replies, smiling brightly at me before turning his back on us and walking back over to Tanya, Jess and Felix.

"Dance with me?" Edward whispers in my ear as Ronan Keating's version of Time After Time begins to play.

I turn around in his arms and quirk my brow. "I can't dance."

"I can," he says confidentially.

"I may step on your toes."

"I don't care," he says, laughing lightly.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," I joke, wrapping my arms around his neck.

I keep my eyes locked with his as he pulls me close, entwines our hands and holds them up so they're resting against both of our chests. He leans down, resting his forehead against mine as he begins to sway us from side to side before moving backwards and forwards, leading us around the room. He lets go of my left hand and wraps it around me, his palm flat against my back.

He smiles crookedly at me, my eyes widening with shock, but I can't keep the grin off my face as he pushes me out away from him then pulls me back into his arms in one swift movement. My right hand stays entwined with his left, my left hand resting against his chest as he spins us around, pushing me out away from him again, but this time, spinning me around on the spot before pulling me back into his arms.

I glance around us to see everyone has created a circle for us to dance in, which causes my cheeks to flush with embarrassment. He smiles affectionately at me, removing his hand from my back and brushing my cheek with the back of his hand before twining his fingers into my hair and resting his hand at the back of my neck.

I've never felt this happy in all my life. Edward makes me feel like the most important person in the world. I'm so glad I didn't end up losing him the way I almost did. He understands me more than anyone else in the universe and I don't know what I would have done If I lost him. I love him so much and I'm so thankful for him coming into my life when he did.

I don't take my eyes off his as the speed of the song begins to pick up and when the chorus starts up again, Edward begins to sing.

"_If you__'__re lost, you can look, and you will find me. Time after time. If you fall, I will catch you, I__'__ll be waiting. Time after time."_

He moves us around faster to match the rhythm of the beat, smiling at me so tenderly I can't stop the tears that spring into my eyes. He wipes them away before kissing both of my eyes and then my nose. I smile up at him before resting my head against his chest, letting out a content sigh and closing my eyes as he carry's on leading me around the dance floor, continuing to sing to me softly and making me feel like we're the only two people in the world.

I tilt my head up to look at him, causing him to glance down at me. He smiles affectionately at me before leaning forward, placing his lips on top of mine and kissing me softly.

"Mind if I cut in?" a very soft, familiar voice asks, pulling me back into reality. I turn around to see Demetri standing a few feet away from me with a sheepish smile on his face.

"Demetri!" I exclaim, a grin forming on my lips as I close the distance between us and embrace him in a hug. "What are you doing here?"

He wraps around my waist and squeezes me lightly. "Alice invited me."

"Of course she did," I mumble.

Edward clears his throat, snapping me out of my moment with Demetri.

"Oh, sorry," I say, stepping out of Demetri's arms and turning around to face Edward. "Demetri, this is my boyfriend, Edward."

I make my way back over to Edward and stand in front of him; he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls my back against his chest. "Edward, this is my friend, Demetri," I say, tilting my head back to look up at him. He smiles kindly, kissing me softly on the cheek before glancing at Demetri and extending his hand out to him.

"Nice to meet you," he says kindly.

"Likewise," Demetri replies, before glancing back at me. "So, I see you got your man back," he adds, the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile.

"Yeah," I reply sheepishly. "I did." As I place my arms on top of Edward's, he entwines our hands together and rests his chin on my shoulder.

"So, you wanna dance?" Demetri asks. "If that's okay?" he questions, glancing uncertainly at Edward.

"Of course," Edward replies politely. I turn around in his arms, smiling lovingly at him and kissing him lightly on the lips before taking Demetri's hand and closing the distance between us. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him close.

"I didn't think you were coming."

"I told you I'd come visit," he whispers, swaying us from side to side.

"You did," I reply softly.

"Are you disappointed?" he asks hesitantly.

"What?" I reply taken aback, pulling away slightly to meet his gaze. "Of course not," I whisper.

"Good," he says, his mouth turning up into a grin.

"How are you?" I ask softly. "I mean, with your parents and college stuff?"

"I caught up on my college work, so I'm all good with that now," he says, smiling softly.

"Oh, that's good. I'm glad. And Tanya will be happy to hear that."

"Mum and Dad's divorce became official a few weeks ago," he says sadly.

"I'm sorry," I say softly, pulling him closer to me.

"It's been hard not having anyone to talk to," he murmurs.

"I'm sorry. You have my number, you could have called."

"I know, I just didn't want to bother you."

"Demetri," I say sternly. "We're friends. You're allowed to call me whenever you need to talk."

"I didn't want to make your boyfriend mad."

"He's not like that, he understands."

"Does he know?" he asks quietly.

"What?" I ask confused.

"About my situation."

"He knows abut your parents, yeah," I reply sheepishly. "I hope that's okay?" I question.

"Yeah, it's fine," he murmurs. "Does he know how I feel about you?"

"He knows you were interested in me," I reply. "You said feel. Do you still feel the same?" I ask hesitantly.

"Not as strongly as before, but I still care about you a lot," he says honestly. "I know we don't really know each other that well, but we kind of just clicked when we met, you know?"

"Yeah," I reply softly, smiling kindly at him. "Thank you for coming tonight," I say sincerely.

"It's okay, I missed you."

"I missed you too; I've missed everyone so much. Where are you staying while you're here?"

"Alice said she booked three rooms at the Forks Hotel for two weeks for us."

"You guys are staying for two weeks?" I ask excitedly.

"Yeah," he replies laughing lightly.

"God, Alice is the best!"

"She seems like a great friend to have."

"She really is," I reply beaming at him.

"Well, I should probably give you back to your boyfriend. I'll go find Tanya and say hi."

"Okay," I reply, glancing around the room, my brow furrowing when I can't find Edward. "I don't know where he's gone," I murmur.

"Hello, everyone?" Alice's voice questions over speakers that I didn't know were set up. "Um, Bella and Edward have something special to share with us tonight, so if you would all like to follow me into the dining room where the piano is, that'd be great."

"Oh, god," I groan, my eyes going wide as everyone follows after her.

"Come on, then," Edward says from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and laughing as he leads me forward.

"What's going on?" I ask cautiously.

"You're gonna sing and I'm gonna play the piano and sing too."

"What?" I ask horrified, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

He leads me to the piano and sits down. I sit down next to him, and glance at everyone around the room.

"Imagine it's just us together and no one else in the room," he whispers.

"What are we singing?" I ask.

"Need You Now," he says, smiling knowingly at me.

"Okay," I reply, my voice shaking with nerves.

I take a deep breath as he presses his fingers to the keys and begins to play the melody. I glance up in shock as Jasper walks out from behind the piano, holding his guitar, clicking and strumming along with Edward.

"_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor," _I sing softly,tapping my hand to the beat on my thigh_. __"__Reaching for the phone __'__cause I can__'__t find it anymore."_

"_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?" _Edward and I sing in unison.

"_For it me it happens all the time," _I continue.

"_It__'__s a quarter after one, I__'__m all alone and I need you now," _we sing together, swaying from side to side. _"__Said I wouldn__'__t call, but I lost control and I need you now,__"_I glance over at Edward, and smile softly at him. _"__And I don__'__t know how, I can do without. I just need you now.__"_

"_Another shot of whiskey, can__'__t stop looking at the door,"_ Edward sings, glancing at me before continuing. _"__Wishing__'__ you__'__d come sweeping in the way you did before."_

"_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?__"_Edward and I repeat the bridge together.

"_For it me it happens all the time," _Edward continues in perfect clarity, his voice giving me goose bumps.

We repeat the second chorus, changing the pitch and tones of our voice, but making sure we synchronize together properly.

"_Whoa, ohhhh," _he harmonizes.

"_Ohhh," _I follow after him, closing my eyes as I get lost in the moment.

"_I guess I__'__d rather hurt than feel nothing at all," _we sing together softly.

"_It__'__s a quarter after one, I__'__m all alone and I need you now," _I sing with a smile on my face.

"_And I said I wouldn__'__t call, but I__'__m a little drunk and I need you now," _Edward continues after me, his voice rising in harmony.

"_And I don__'__t know how, I can do without. I just need you now__…__ ow.__" _We sing to each other, our gaze still locked together.

"_Oh, baby, I need you now… oh, now," _I sing the last sentence of the song as Edward plays the last lines of the melody.

I don't take my eyes off Edward's when he stops playing the piano and the room goes quiet. Everyone erupts into applause, causing Edward to smirk at me before leaning forward and kissing me lightly on the mouth. I smile against his lips before kissing him back. Someone in the crowed – who could only be Emmett or Garrett – wolf whistles at us, making my cheeks flush as I pull away.

"You have such a beautiful voice," Edward says, taking my hand in his and kissing my palm before grinning at me.

"So do you," I reply, returning his grin. "I have something I want to do for you," I say before climbing off the piano chair and walking over to Jasper.

"You know how I wanted to sing for Edward?" I ask Jasper.

"You want to do it now?" he questions.

"Yeah," I reply, smiling kindly at him. "And, well, I kind of need your guitar."

"Sure thing, sweetheart," he says, a grin on his face as he hands me his guitar.

"What are you doing?" Alice asks as she makes her way over to me.

"Singing for Edward."

"Oh do you want an announcement?" she asks cheerfully.

"Uh, I think I can just say it myself, actually," I reply through a laugh.

"Okay, here," she says, handing me the microphone. I take it from her hands before walking back over to Edward. Emmett walks over, carrying one of the kitchens stools and places it in front of me.

"Thanks, Em."

"No problem, Button."

"What's going on?" Edward asks confused.

I sit down on the stool, slinging the guitar strap over my shoulder and resting the guitar on my knee.

"Hi, um, I just want to play a song for Edward," I speak into the microphone, causing Edward to quirk his brow at me. I grin at him before speaking directly to him. "I wrote it when we first met. It's called 'Enchanted'."

Alice holds the microphone in front of me as I begin to strum the guitar, playing the first cords of the song before starting to sing.

"_There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles, same old tired, lonely place." _I glance up to look at Edward, and smile softly at him. _"__Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you." _He returns my smile after I sing those lines.

"_Your eyes whispered, "have we met?" crossed the room your silhouette, starts to make its way to me-ee." _I wink at him before looking back down at the guitar.

"_The playful conversation starts, counter all your quick remarks like, passing notes in secrecy." _The corners of his mouth turns up into a smirk as he no doubt remember the first time we met and how quickly we fell into a playful conversation.

"_And it was enchanting to meet you. All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you__…"_

I click and strum the guitar a little faster as I head into the chorus_. "This night is sparkling, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I'll spend forever, wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you-ou-ou."_

_"__The lingering question kept me up. Two am, who do you love? I wonder till I'm wide awake." _I smile softly at him before continuing._"__And now I'm pacing back and forth, wishing you were at my door. I'd open up and you would say, __'__Hey, It was enchanting to meet you__'__. All I know is I was enchanted to meet you__…"_

I extend the note of the last word, closing my eyes as I focus on my diaphragm. When I head into the chorus for the second time, I look up to see Edward's face a light with so much love and adoration I nearly stop playing. I smile at him, keeping my eyes locked with his as I head into the second chorus.

"_This night is flawless, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone. I'll spend forever, wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you-ou-ou-oh."_

I focus on the guitar again as I play the instrumental part of the song, swaying my body from side to side and bopping my head before beginning to sing again.

_"__This is me praying that, this was the very first page, not where the story line ends. My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again. These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon. I was enchanted to meet you-ou-ou-oh."_

"_Please don't be in love with someone e-else; please don't have somebody waiting on you."_ I sing the bridge softly, repeating it for a second time before singing the harmonizing parts of the song and heading into the chorus again, a smile still plastered on my face.

"_This night is flawless, don't you let it go. I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone. I'll spend forever, wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you-ou-ou__…__"_

I sing the bridge for the last time, lowering the tone of my voice until it's nearly a whisper. _"__Please don't be in love with someone e-else; please don't have somebody waiting on you."_

I remove the strap of the guitar from my shoulder and hand it back to Jasper, smiling thankfully at him. Edward makes his way over to me, causing me to smiles brightly as I hop off the stool. When he reaches me, he wraps his arms around my waist.

"I love you so much," he says before kisses me passionately on the lips.

I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back just as fervently, causing everyone to erupt into cheers and wolf whistles. Edward and I break apart when the room suddenly goes quiet. I glance around the room as Rose walks into the room. A tall, tanned woman with brownish, auburn medium length hair that could only be my mother, follows behind her.

My breath catches in my throat, my hand flying to my mouth in shock.

"Where's Jessica?" I ask Edward quietly.

"I'm right here," she murmurs, walking up from behind me and entwining her hand with mine. "Is that really her?" she asks hopefully.

Renee steps in front of Rosalie, glancing around the room hesitantly as everyone surrounds us. I swallow the lump in my throat when her eyes finally land on me. Tears spring to her eyes as she begins to smile slowly at me.

"Bella, honey," she addresses me, her voice thick with emotion.

I can't stand being so far away from her any longer so I drop Edward's hand and run towards her, tears streaming down my face as she catches me in her arms. I wrap my arms around her, burying my face in the crook of her neck as sobs begin to rack my body.

"Oh, honey, don't cry. I'm right here," she coos, stroking her hand through my hair.

A sudden wave of rage surges through me and I pull away from her. Her eyes widening with shock as she takes in my expression.

"Where did you go?" I demand, wiping at my eyes furiously.

"Honey, calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" I shout, taking a step away from her when she reaches her hand out to me.

"I thought you wanted me to come here?" she questions sadly.

"And what, you didn't expect me to act like this? How do you think I would react?"

"Bella, it's okay," Jessica says softly, walking up to stand beside me.

"It's not okay," I reply, my voice breaking.

"You need to stop. You're making a scene," she says cautiously.

"Are you serious?" I ask incredulously, turning to face her. "Then make everyone leave!"

"I know you're upset, but this isn't the way to handle it."

"You don't know anything!"

"It hurt me when she left too, you know that," she says sadly.

"She's not your mother!" I shout.

"She was as good as!" Jess shouts back, tears welling up in her eyes. I ignore Jessica and turn back to Renee.

"You just disappeared and didn't tell any of us where you were going."

"Bella, please–"

"You abandoned me, you abandoned Jessica! I thought it was my fault that you left. I developed depression and insecurities because of you."

"I'm sorry," she says sadly.

"You fucked me up! I ended up losing Jessica and then I nearly lost the best thing that's ever happened to me because of what you did!"

"Bella," Edward says soothingly, placing his hands on my arms and pulling me into his chest. "Breathe, baby."

I turn around and close my eyes, burying my face in his chest as the sobs begin to rock my body. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tightly, stroking my hair and kissing me lightly on the top of my head.

"Come on, let's go somewhere more private," he says softly. I nod my head before he leads me away and up the first flight of stairs. I hear footsteps following behind us, but don't bother to look to see who it is. I don't doubt that Jessica and Renee are the ones following.

Edward sits me down on the couch and wraps his arm around my shoulders. Jasper walks over and hands me a glass of water and Rose hands me a tissue. I blow my nose unattractively before taking a sip of water. Jessica and Tanya sit down beside me and Edward.

"I'm sorry, Jess," I mumble, glancing over at her.

"It's okay," she says quietly, reaching out and taking my hand in hers. Tanya entwines Jessica's free hand with hers.

"Are you okay now?" Edward asks, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"Yeah," I reply quietly, turning my head to kiss him softly on the lips.

Esme walks into the room and makes her way over to me. She crouches down in front of me, resting her hands on my knees.

"Are you okay to see her now?" she asks softly, her eyes filled with concern.

"I-I think so, yeah," I stutter. "I guess not even Alice could keep the drama at bay, huh?" I add sadly.

"Bella, this isn't your fault," She says affectionately.

"Yes, it is," I repIy. "I shouldn't have acted the way I did." I add softly.

"Honey, you couldn't have possibly known how you would react when you saw her. Talking to someone on the phone and actually seeing them in person are two completely different things." She says. "This is not your fault, Bella Marie Swan. Do you hear me?" she adds sternly.

I glance at her, my eyes welling with tears. "Okay." I murmur.

"Carlisle and I will go inform the guests that the party is over," she says, smiling tenderly.

"Thanks, Esme," I whisper, leaning forward and wrapping my arms around her neck. She hugs me back before pulling out of the embrace and cupping my face in her hands, kissing me softly on the forehead before standing and walking out of the room.

A few minutes later, Alice walks back into the room with Renee flanking her. I lean against Edward's chest and he wraps his arms around my waist. Renee's smiles at the movement but her face quickly falls when she meets my gaze.

"Are you sure you're okay to see me, Bella?" Renee asks hesitantly.

"I'm fine now," I reply, leaning further into Edward's chest.

"You seem to calm her," she says, looking at Edward.

"She does the same for me," he replies politely, smiling softly at her.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here," I say sternly.

"Sorry," Renee murmurs. "Anyway, you said you wanted to know why I left?" she questions.

"Obviously," I reply curtly.

"Bella, stop it," Edward whispers in my ear, tightening his hold on me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, letting it out slowly before opening my eyes again.

"Yes, I would like to know why you left," I say quietly, glancing up to look at her. She smiles affectionately at me before nodding her head.

"Okay, well, I don't really know how to start–"

"Why would be a good start," I murmur, cutting her off.

"Right," she says laughing lightly. "You know that doctors appointment I had in October?"

"Yeah…"

"Well, the results for it came back a few weeks later and–"

"Results for what?" Jessica asks, cutting her off. "Oh, sorry," she murmurs, smiling apologetically at Renee.

"It's okay, sweetie," says Renee, returning Jess's smile. "The results were for whether I had Leukemia or not."

"Like, cancer?" Jessica asks shocked.

"Yes."

"And what were the results?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"They were positive," she says softly, smiling sadly at me. There's silence in the room as we all take in what she said. I stare ahead of me at nothing in particular.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asks concerned.

I blink a few times, shaking the shock off before meeting my mothers gaze. "You have cancer?" I ask bewildered.

"Had," she corrects, causing me to quirk my brow.

"That doesn't explain why you left," I say confused.

"I knew we wouldn't be able to afford the treatment, but there was this program where they were doing experiments and they paid for the treatment. I applied for it and got accepted. The letter came a few days before Thanksgiving."

"So, that's why you were acting weird," I state, pursing my lips.

"I didn't want to make you and Charlie move, and I didn't want you to be scared about my illness. And I know Charlie would have been a wreck–"

"So you left instead?" I ask hurt, cutting her off.

"I know I should have at least contacted you earlier or something, but I didn't want you to see me the way I was."

"What? So you thought I'd be better off with you not in my life at all? You could have died and I wouldn't have known!" I exclaim, leaning forward in my seat. Edward sits up as well, keeping his arms wrapped around me.

"I know, baby. I'm so sorry," Renee says sadly, tears forming into her eyes.

"Well, are you okay now?" Jess asks concerned.

"That's the good news, I guess. The experimental treatments have taken affect and killed all the cancer cells," she says cheerfully.

"That's good," I reply softly, causing Renee to smile brightly at me for the first time. I return her smile and she lets out a sigh of relief.

"I'm in remission, so it was kind of good timing that you wrote to me when you did," she says, laughing softly.

"Oh," I reply, shock in my voice. "If you're in remission why were you still in the centre?"

"Because I still have to go in a few days a week for check ups to make sure the cancer cells are one hundred percent gone."

"Oh, okay then," I murmur. "How long can you be here for?"

"As long as you want," she says cheerfully. "There's a hospital here, so I can transfer my check ups to there. I rang them today, actually. A Dr. Cullen answered."

"That's my dad," Edward says, smiling politely. "He'll look after you."

"Well, that's good," she responds, returning his smile. "So, you're my baby girl's boyfriend, huh?"

"Uh, Yeah."

"Mom, don't even try it," I warn.

"What? I didn't do anything," she says innocently.

"You don't need to interrogate him, he treats me perfectly. I'm happy, that's all that matters right now."

"Well, I'm glad you found someone so special, sweetheart."

"Thanks," I murmur, glancing at Jessica.

"And how are you, Jess?" Renee asks. "Have you got a boyfriend?"

I notice that Tanya's hand tightens around Jessica's, causing Jess to wince in pain. She bites her bottom lip before glancing at Tanya and then back to Renee.

"Um, actually, this is Tanya," she says awkwardly. "She's my girlfriend."

"Oh," says Renee, shock clear in her face. "Well, okay then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tanya asks sternly.

"Nothing at all, honey, I have no aversion to homosexuals," she assures her.

"Good," Tanya replies, loosening her grip on Jessica's hand.

"Are you two happy, nobody giving you any trouble?" Renee asks.

"No, everyone has actually been really good about it," says Jessica.

"Have you told your parents?"

"Yeah," Jess says softly. "They were a little shocked at first, but they're starting to come around."

"I'm hard to dislike," Tanya quips.

"I don't doubt that for a second, young lady," Renee says, laughing lightly.

"I think I'm gonna like you," Tanya says honestly.

"Glad to hear it," Renee says, grinning at Tanya.

"You have a lot to make up for with Bella and Jess, though," Tanya says seriously.

"I know," Renee replies just as earnestly. "Okay, well, I should probably head off. We can catch up some more tomorrow if you want?"

"Are you going to see Charlie?" I ask hesitantly.

"Of course, honey."

"Okay…"

"Do you want to come?"

"Oh, I don't know. We don't really, get along too well."

"That's an understatement," Jessica murmurs.

"Come on, sweetie. I'll sort him out," she says seriously, rising from her seat. I stand up as well, Edward, Jess and Tanya doing the same.

"Do you want me to come?" Edward whispers.

"No, it's okay. I'll call you later, though?" I question.

"Of course," he replies, leaning down to kiss me on the lips.

"I love you," I whisper, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.

"I love you too, beautiful," he says just as quietly, cupping my face in his hands and kissing me softly on the lips again before I walk away and follow Renee downstairs and out to the car.

* * *

"Um, just to warn you, he's not the same person from before you left," I say hesitantly as we make our way to my old front door.

"How do you mean?"

"Well, he drinks heavily. And he's, well, to put it nicely, he's become a very cranky person."

"You said he was horrible to you, is that true?" she asks sadly.

"Yeah."

"What did he do?"

"He said it was my fault you left, he said I screw everything up and nobody was ever going to love me, he said everyone I love will eventually leave me because I'm worthless."

"Oh, baby."

"And he hit me," I murmur, glancing at her.

"He what?" she says sternly.

"He got really drunk one night when I came home late. He started yelling at me about not cooking him dinner. I got really angry and ended up snapping at him, which caused him to yell at me some more and hit me."

"I'm going to murder him for laying a hand on you," she says angrily, stalking towards the front door.

"Mom, please don't make a confrontation, you only just came back."

"I'm not going to let him get away from hitting you!"

"You don't have to, just don't go in there screaming your head off at him. I know what he did was fucked up and wrong, but he was hurting. He still is."

"Fine," she murmurs. "And stop your swearing," she adds before taking a deep breath and knocking on the front door.

I hold my breath as I hear Charlie get up off the couch and make his way to the front door. He's rubbing his eyes when he opens the door, his hand dropping to his side as soon as he notices us.

"Renee?" he asks shocked.

"Hi, Charlie," she replies, smiling softly at him.

He glances at me, his eyes automatically filling with anger.

"Have you been keeping her from me this whole time?" he asks angrily.

"Charlie, what on earth are you talking about?" Renee asks.

"She's the reason you left. She's been keeping you from me, hasn't she?" he exclaims.

"She most certainly has not!" she says shocked. "What is wrong with you? Have you been drinking?"

"Maybe," he mumbles.

"What have you done to yourself?" she asks sadly.

"It's not my fault you just up and left with no explanation at all! Leaving me to raise Bella all on my own!"

"I was thirteen when she left, Charlie. You didn't have much raising left to do!" I shout.

"Don't talk to me like that, young lady."

"She has every right to talk to you like that," Renee says angrily. "Especially after the way you treated her after I left. You shouldn't have taken your heartache and anger out on your own daughter; you should have been comforting her and telling her everything was going to be okay! I know what I did was wrong, but I left you a note! If you didn't become a drunk, you would have ended up finding it instead of Bella!"

"Maybe if you didn't leave in the first place, none of this would have happened!" he shouts back.

"I had to leave, you imbecile!"

"Oh, yeah, and why's that?"

"Because I had cancer, you big oaf! I had to move away to get treatment and I didn't want to uproot you and Bella, let alone let you two see me ill!"

"Guys, stop it!" I plead, stepping in between them.

"You had cancer?" he asks shocked.

"Yes," she says softly.

"Oh, god," he groans, his voice breaking with emotion and his eyes welling with tears. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine now," she replies, her voice barely audible. "How could you treat our daughter the way you did, Charlie? I've never been so angry and disappointed with you so much in my life."

He glances at me, his eyes filled with remorse. "I'm so sorry, baby," he whispers, the tone of his voice sincere towards me for the first time since Renee left.

"It's not that simple," I murmur, my voice filled with sadness and my eyes welling with tears.

"I'll make everything right, I promise."

"Your promises don't really mean much to me anymore, Charlie," I reply honestly.

"I know," he says apologetically, extending his hand out towards my face, causing me to flinch away from him. His hand drops down to his side and when I glance at him hesitantly, his expression is filled with repentance.

Before I know what she's doing, Renee slaps Charlie across his face.

"That's for laying your hands on our daughter," she says angrily. Charlie rubs his face as he meets her gaze, his eyes filled with regret.

"Is it really you?" he asks uncertainly.

"It's me," she says softly. His eyes well up with tears again before his body slumps against the front door.

"I can't believe you're here," he says, his voice breaking. "I missed you so much."

"I'm here now, baby," she says soothingly, cupping his cheek in her hand. He places his hand over hers, turning his face to kiss her palm. She closes the distance between them, running her hands through his hair before placing her hand on the other side of his face. He leans his head forward, resting it on her shoulder before wrapping his arms around her waist.

A gesture that reminds me strongly of me and Edward.

Tears spring into my eyes again. I wipe them away before walking up the stairs and linking my arm through Charlie's.

"Come on, Charlie. Let's go inside," I say softly, leading him into the lounge room.

He latches onto my hand, squeezing it tightly before glancing up at me, his eyes rimmed with red from crying.

* * *

**I told you it was a long one! Hahahaha! **

**Thank you all for the support with this story! I'm not getting many reviews anymore, which makes me sad, because I really want to hear everyone's feedback! But, I guess I have to get what I'm given.**

**Thanks you to _albymangroves, katiewinkles, edwardsisobel, mpg82, and Anna-Phase,_ for the VERY helpful WC's! They helped me finish the last five chaptes of this story, and without them, I probably wouldn't have been able to finish them. So thank you girls for the encouragement and support! It means a lot x**

**Thank you to my amazing Beta Jenndur, for Beta'ing this as quickly as she did! You're a star, baby!**

**- Nat x**


	42. Special Plans

_**Chapter Forty Two **__– (Special Plans)_

_**EPOV**_

* * *

Esme and Carlisle went around the house, apologising to everyone about the unexpected drama that developed after Bella's performance and kindly told them it would be best if the party came to an end. Because Alice only invited people who were fond of Bella, they all understood and didn't try to linger behind to find out what was happening. Even if someone did try to do that, Rose would have probably dragged them out by their hair, anyway.

I've never seen Bella so heart-stricken and conflicted than I did last night. Even Tanya said her breakdown was worse than the one she had in California. I think it was all just a little too overwhelming for her. Everything was going so perfectly. She was surrounded by people who love her, her friends from California were here, and everything between us was perfect.

Then her mother showed up, shocking everyone and causing all of Bella's bad memories to come flooding back. At first she was okay and even happy to see her, but then something just snapped inside of her and she started screaming and yelling at Renee in front of everyone. Jess tried to calm her down but that only upset Bella more and she began shouting at Jessica too. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She turned around and began weeping into my chest. I lead her out of the room and upstairs.

Bella and I knew her mother was on her way here, but we didn't know when she was going to arrive. She did mention she was a little worried that Renee would turn up at the party, but it was only a small possibility, so neither of us really took it into account.

I was extremely anxious and concerned about Bella when she left with Renee to go see Charlie. I asked her if she wanted me to come but she insisted that she was okay and it was something she had to face on her own with her mother.

Bella sent me a text half an hour after she left, telling me she told Renee everything Charlie did to her when she was gone. She also told me of how broken Charlie seemed when he saw Renee. She said she's never seen him like that before, not even when Renee left, and for the first time in five years, he actually looked remorseful for acting the way he did towards her. She said he reached out to stroke her cheek or something and she automatically flinched away from him. I couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips when she said Renee responded by slapping Charlie across the face, and yelling at him for laying his hands on Bella.

I helped Alice and Rose clear the house of the decorations while Jasper and Emmett put all the furniture back into their original places and Esme and Carlisle cleaned up the food table and kitchen. Tanya and Jessica stayed behind to help clean up for a while, before Esme insisted they go home to bed.

Bella and I have been through so much together this past month. Her leaving was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. She was the only person that I ever let into my life after my mother died – apart from my adopted family – Sure, I've had girlfriends and stuff, but I never felt for them the way I feel about Bella. Yes, she made a mistake by leaving the way she did. But she had to deal with those consequences. She never gave up on making it up to me, going out of her way to involve herself with things in my life to show me how much she cared about me. She never gave up on earning my trust back, which lead to her winning my heart back.

We've both said and done some horrible things to each other, but every single day I'm with Bella, I do everything I can to make sure she knows how much she means to me. I'm pretty sure she has the same thing in mind for me. Bella seems to think making love to me is the only way to show me how she feels, though. It's been so difficult to turn her down sometimes because every time we touch, I feel sparks run through my body and all I've wanted to do is drown in every inch of her and make love to her.

But I couldn't do that to Bella, because we weren't ready for that step. I want it to be perfect. She keeps saying that it's already going to be perfect because it's with me, but I just can't take that risk. I want to be romantic and spoil her. I want everything to be a surprise.

Which is why I'm standing outside of Alice's door right now, trying to decide on whether or not I should really go to her for help with this.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and let it out slowly before raising my hand and knocking on her door.

"It's open." She calls out softly.

I turn the nob, open the door and pop my head inside. She's sitting on her bed reading a book. She looks over at me and quirks her brow.

"What are you doing?" she asks, confused.

"Are you busy?"

"Obviously not…" she says, tilting her head to the side. "Are you gonna come in?"

"Uh, yeah," I mumble, stepping inside and closing the door before walking over to her and sitting on the edge of her bed.

"What can I help you with?" she asks politely, smiling softly before closing her book and placing it on her bedside table.

I stay silent, pursing my lips as I think about how to ask her for help.

"Well?" she questions, looking at me expectantly.

"Okay, so Bella has kind of been hinting that she wants to take the next step in our relationship."

"That's a bit of an understatement," she scoffs. "I hear she's been throwing herself at you but you keep turning her down,"

"Right," I murmur, running my hands through my hair and pulling it lightly. "Well, yeah, I have. But only because I want it to be special for her,"

"Edward." She says pointedly.

I glance at her nervously to see she has a serious expression on her face.

"You two have been through so much already. She loves you; she wants to be with you. In every way."

"Yeah, I know. But –"

"Don't interrupt me," she cuts me off, holding up the palm of her hand. "She doesn't care about how romantic it is. As long as she's comfortable and with you, that's all that's going to matter."

"I want it to be perfect for her,"

"All she needs is you for it to be perfect." She says softly.

"That's exactly what she said,"

"Why is it so difficult for you guys to understand that? Jasper was exactly the same about me losing my virginity." She says, rolling her eyes.

"We care about you."

She rolls her eyes at that statement before crossing her legs in front of her.

"What is the point of this conversation?" she asks.

"Well, I've been thinking and I guess I want to take the next step in our relationship, too,"

"So you're ready to pop her cherry now?" she jokes, grinning at me.

"Charming," I respond, shaking my head in amusement as she laughs softly to herself.

"Okay, so I'm taking it you want some help, or pointers on what to do?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Do you have any ideas at all yet, or…"

"I was thinking something to do with roses and candles,"

"As you would." She says, laughing lightly. "Do you have a location?"

"I was thinking of the meadow I showed her, but then I don't want her to get cold and become uncomfortable,"

"What about the cottage?" she asks.

"Really?" I ask hesitantly.

"It's a place where she's comfortable, you could decorate her room."

"What about Tanya?"

"Well, if you tell her about it, I'm sure she'd be more than willing to help you out."

"Okay. Thanks, Ali," I say appreciatively, kissing her on the cheek before heading out of her room.

"Call me if you need help with anything else!" she calls after I shut the door behind me.

I pull my phone out of my back pocket and text Tanya.

HEY. ARE YOU BUSY? I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING.

**NOPE. SURE, WHAT DO YOU NEED? :)**

IS BELLA HOME?

**NEGATIVE. SHE'S AT CHARLIE'S WITH RENEE. WHY?**

GOOD. I'LL BE OVER SOON.

**WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?**

I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I GET THERE. :P

***SENDS YOU EVILS***

I laugh to myself at her reply as I make my way down to the kitchen. I pour a glass of milk and down it in a second before grabbing a banana.

"Where are you off to, honey?" Esme asks as I make my way to the front door.

"Just heading over to see Tanya about something,"

"You're not going to see Bella?" she asks, confused.

"She's at Charlie's with Renee,"

"Oh. How is she, is she okay?" she asks, concerned.

"I'm not sure. She says she's okay, but I can tell that something is troubling her."

"Have you tried talking to her?"

"I'll talk to her tonight," I assure, smiling kindly. "Look, I've gotta head off. So I'll see you later?" I question, kissing her on the forehead.

"Of course," she says, smiling affectionately at me.

I return the gesture before walking out the front door and running down the front steps to my car.

* * *

When I arrive at the cottage, I think over what I'm going to say, and how exactly I'm going to ask Tanya for help. I don't know if she's going to be okay with the idea, or completely against it. I mean, Bella is like a little sister to her. What if she's not okay with Bella losing her virginity at seventeen?

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before knocking on the front door. Tanya opens it almost straight away.

"I heard you pull up," she says, smiling and standing aside to let me in.

"Oh, okay," I say as I walk inside. "How are you?" I ask, heading into the living room and sitting down on the couch.

"Yeah, pretty good." She says as she sits down next to me. "So, what do you need help with?"

"Oh. Um…"

She laughs lightly before nudging me with her elbow. "I'm just messing with you. Alice called me to give me a heads up so shit wouldn't be awkward,"

"Oh, thank god." I say, breathing a sigh of relief.

"So, you just need me to occupy Bella for the day or something?"

"Something like that. At least until I text you and say it's okay for you to bring her back."

"Okay. And what's your plan?"

"Light candles everywhere, have a trail of petals leading to the bedroom."

"Okay, no." she says, shaking her head with amusement.

"Why not?" I ask, offended.

"It's too cliché," She says, screwing up her nose. "Buy her a bouquet of roses, leave them on the kitchen bench and write her a letter."

"Then how's she gonna know to go to the bedroom?" I ask, confused.

"Write it in the letter…"

"Oh. Right."

"You can still have rose petals leading to her bedroom, though,"

"Okay, cool. Anything else?"

"Not really. Just make the whole night about her."

"That's the plan," I reply, smirking at her.

"Okay, well I'll call her now and tell her I'm taking her out."

"Alright, I'll get started then."

"Oh, and give her a call later so she doesn't get suspicious about you not contacting her all day." She says, heading for the front door.

"Hey, Tanya?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"It's all good. She's been waiting a long time for this," she says, winking at me before walking out the front door.

* * *

I call Alice and ask her to go buy a bouquet of red roses while I begin to set up at the cottage. I already went out and purchased a bunch of roses to make the petal trails with, but I didn't buy enough to have a dozen left over for Bella.

Alice turns up half an hour later with the most extravagant roses I've ever seen. Trust Alice to go all out on the one task I sent her on.

"She deserves only the best," she says, reading my thoughts.

I rummage around in the kitchen to find a suitable vase. I fill it with water and place it on the bench before going back into the living room.

"Can you sort them out while I set up the candles?" I ask kindly.

"Of course."

I place all the candles on the coffee table before pulling out my lighter and lighting them all. I place them around the house – in places where nothing will catch on fire because that really wouldn't be romantic at all if the cottage went up in flames.

I sit down on the couch to start writing the letter to Bella. I tap my pen on the pad and drum my fingers on the coffee table as I try to think of the perfect thing to say. I begin to become frustrated when nothing comes out right when I put it on paper. I screw up the fifth failed attempt and throw it on the ground with the other scrunched up pieces of paper. I don't know where Alice disappeared too, but when I let out a groan of annoyance she's suddenly by my side.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

"Tanya said to write Bella a letter, but every time I put something on paper it doesn't come out right."

"You're thinking about it too hard,"

"Oh, really?" I ask sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"Just write what you feel, Edward."

"You think I haven't tried?"

"It's just like writing a song," she says, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Except it doesn't rhyme,"

"Right," I mumble, running my hands through my hair.

"It'll come to you, just stop thinking so hard." She says, smiling kindly at me. "I'm gonna head off, but call me if you need anything else, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Alicat,"

"You're welcome, Edwardo," She says, smirking at me and ruffling up my hair before walking out the front door.

* * *

I don't know how much time passes while I try to think of something to write to Bella, but it must be a long time because I receive a text off Tanya.

**WE'RE AT JESSICA'S. WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED BELLA YET?**

SORRY. LOST TRACK OF TIME, I'LL CALL NOW.

**ALL GOOD. HOW'S EVERYTHING GOING?**

GREAT, APART FROM THE LETTER :|

**WHY, WHAT'S WRONG? :S**

JUST CAN'T THINK OF WHAT TO SAY.

**JUST WRITE HOW YOU FEEL…**

YOU SOUND LIKE ALICE.

**GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE :P ANYWAY, STOP TEXTING ME AND CALL HER.**

YES MA'AM! *SALUTES*

**SMARTASS.**

I chuckle to myself at her reply. I bring up my call history and click on Bella's name. She picks up after the second ring.

"_Why, hello."_ She says brightly.

"Hey, gorgeous. What are you up to?"

"_Just hanging with Tanya and Jess. What about you?"_

"Not much, just hanging about. Missing you,"

"_Aw, you're so sweet. I miss you too."_

"How's everything with your mom and Charlie?"

"_It's okay,"_ she replies, letting out a heavy sigh. _"It's all… very dramatic."_

"Is Charlie still trying to apologize to you?"

"_Constantly,"_ She mumbles.

"I guess that's a good thing, though."

"_I guess..."_

"Is Renee kicking his ass into line?"

"_Yeah," _she says, laughing lightly. _"She hasn't let him touch any alcohol so far. He's become so accustomed to it, his withdrawals are pretty bad."_

"It's the best thing for him, though."

"_He looks like he's in so much pain." _She says sadly.

"That's normal, baby. It'll get easier for him."

"_He's said and done some horrible things to me, but I still hate seeing him like that."_

"I know, baby. It will get better, I promise. Maybe this is a good thing? Maybe it'll help you two get back on track?"

"_It's not that easy, Edward. I still have a lot of resentment towards him." _she says sadly._ "And Renee." _She adds softly.

"I thought you said you were sorting things out with your mom?" I ask confused.

"_I am, I just… I don't know, never mind."_

"Bella, talk to me."

"_No, really, it's okay. I'm fine."_

"Look, it's not like everything is going to go back to normal over night, but maybe watching Charlie get better will show you that the father you used to know is still somewhere inside there." I assure.

"_Maybe,"_ she says quietly.

"As for your mom, you just need to work through it together. Don't hold anything back; let her know exactly how you feel. If you hide your feelings, nothing will get resolved."

"_Yeah, I know. I'm just, so confused and my feelings are all over the place."_

"I'm here whenever you need to talk, baby," I assure. "Well, I should probably leave you guys to it. I just wanted to check up on you."

"_Okay,"_ she murmurs, sighing into the phone. _"Can I come over tonight? I really want to see you, and talk about some stuff."_

"Of course you can, I'll come pick you up when you get home."

"_Thanks. I love you, Edward."_

"I love you too, beautiful," I reply before she hangs up.

Little does she know, I'm going to be waiting for her when she gets home.

* * *

I call Alice an hour later and ask her to get Jasper to drive her over here to drive my car back home so Bella doesn't see it.

She turns up twenty minutes later and finds me in Bella's room, Jasper trailing behind her.

"Whoa. Everything looks great!' she says enthusiastically.

"It's not finished yet," I tell her.

"Good job, anyway, bro. She's gonna be blown away," Jasper says.

"Thanks. And thanks for taking my car back."

"Well, we can't have you go to all this work for the surprise to be ruined because of your car, can we?" he says, smirking.

"That's right," I reply, throwing my keys at him.

"Hey, I thought I was driving it back?" Alice whines.

"No way, Alice."

"Is that why you insisted we take my car here?" she asks, turning on Jasper.

"Don't get so worked up, Ali," he says calmly.

"Whatever, we'll just let you get back to work then," she mumbles.

"Okay, bye…"

"Let me know how everything goes, though!" Alice says eagerly.

"I'm sure Bella can do that for you," I remind her.

"Oh, right, yeah." She replies, laughing to herself. "Come on, Jazzy," she entwines her hand with his and leads him out of the room.

* * *

While I continue to set up Bella's room, I receive a text from Tanya.

**BELLA'S GONNA HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR YOU TOO ;)**

WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?

**YOU'LL SEE.**

SHE DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TONIGHT, DOES SHE?

**NO. BUT JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE.**

YOU'RE AN EVIL HUMAN BEING, NO WONDER YOU AND ROSE GET ALONG SO WELL.

**NOW, THAT'S NOT VERY NICE, EDDIE.**

THE TRUTH ISN'T ALWAYS NICE.

**HAR-HAR, YOU SHOULD BE A COMEDIAN.**

SHUT UP. ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY HOME?

**YEPPERS, SHOULD BE HOME IN HALFA.**

AND YOU'RE SURE SHE HAS NO IDEA?

**DON'T FRET MR. PARANOIA, ALL IS WELL.**

I roll my eyes at her reply, throwing my phone onto Bella's bed as I continue to decorate her room. I scatter rose petals from her door to the middle of the room where I'll be standing. I light the rest of the candles and place them around her room. After that, I pick up my phone off her bed and put it in my back pocket before forming a heart on her bed and filling it up with rose petals.

Once I've finished the final touches in Bella's room, I head back out to the living room to try and write the letter again. I close my eyes, resting my head on the back of the couch as I let my mind wander and conjure up thoughts and memories of Bella. I think of every minute I've spent with her.

A smile forms on my lips as the words finally begin to form in my mind. I grab the pen and paper and begin writing down how much Bella means to me, and all the things that I love about her.

I also leave a little message that I left her something in her room.

My phone chimes with another text from Tanya.

**5 MINS AWAY… QUICK, HIDE! :P**

I shake my head in amusement and rip the letter off the pad, putting it into the envelope, and quickly cleaning everything up on the coffee table to the way it was when I got here. I go over to the kitchen island and place the envelope next to the vase of roses before writing Bella's name on it.

I pick a rose out of the vase before rushing down the hallway and into Bella's room, waiting for her to arrive home.

* * *

**A-hoy-hoy! Please don't come after me with burning, flamed torches and pitch forks because of the cliffy! It'll be worth the wait ;) **

**Thank you to my beautiful, emergency Beta, MyHeartOfMusic! Jenndur's computer decided to break down, leaving her unable to Beta my work OR write her own, the poor thing.**

**I know Bella annoys a fair few of you and a lot of you didn't like Renee's reason for leaving, but this is my story and I have to write it how I want to be and not write what I think the readers want to read. It is my first attempt at writing, after all...**

**But t****hank you all for reading and leaving reviews! It seriously means so much to me.**

******- Nat x**


	43. Making You Mine

**AN:** this chapter is posted today for my lovely lady, Lisa, **(AKA,** **Villemo79) **as a wedding present. HAPPY WEDDING DAY, LOVELY! :)

**Note:** **Bella's Lingerie** - http:/i40 . tinypic . com/e7du39 . jpg  
**Bella's clothes going to see Renee and Charlie** - http:/i40 . tinypic . com/302vv69 . jpg

* * *

**Chapter Forty Three:** (Making You Mine)

**BPOV**

* * *

Tanya has been dragging me around everywhere today. Why? I wouldn't have a clue. She just insisted that we needed to go have lunch at the diner, then we had to go see Jess, and _then _we had to head all the way into Port Angeles to go shopping. She demanded we go into nearly every single store, which was odd all on its own, because she knows I hate shopping with a passion and she normally wouldn't put me through that type of torture. If she wanted a shopping partner, she could have asked Alice. When she hauled me into the boutique lingerie store, I knew something was up.

"_Why are we in here?" I asked suspiciously._

"_Everyone needs some good lingerie, babe,"_

"_I've got some." I said, backing out of the store._

"_Yeah, but that shit's old, you need some new, sexy stuff." She insisted, grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me back inside._

"_Are you saying the lingerie I have now isn't sexy?" I accused, quirking my brow._

"_It's okay…"_

"_What's wrong with it?"_

"_Well, it's kind of innocent. You need something smokin' hot."_

"_I'm not comfortable in that stuff, Tan. You know I'm not."_

"_Well, sugarplum, you need to learn to be." She said, as she browsed through a very racy rack of lingerie. "How do you expect to get Edward into your pants if you have nothing to tempt him with?"_

"_Tanya!" I exclaimed. "Do you want to say that a little louder? I don't think the stores at the other end of the mall heard you."_

"_Whatever, go try these on." She said flippantly, throwing some very flimsy pieces at me._

"_You're not serious?" I questioned, horrified._

"_Deadly." She replied earnestly, spinning me around and pushing me towards the change rooms._

* * *

"Are you okay?" I ask on the drive home. Tanya furrows her brow and looks over at me.

"I'm fine, why?" she asks, confused.

"You've just been acting a little strange today,"

"In what way?" she asks, glancing at me and quirking her brow.

I sigh heavily, biting my bottom lip. "It was as though you were trying to occupy me all day or something." When I glance over at her, her expression falls and she purses her lips before looking away.

"I was just trying to keep your mind off things."

"About Renee and Charlie?" I ask softly, lifting my right leg and tucking it under my left. I turn in my seat so my body is facing her. "You didn't have to do that, I'll be okay."

"What's up with that anyway? Something is bothering you, I can tell." she says, looking at me and quirking her brow.

"It's nothing," I murmur.

"Bella." She says pointedly. "What's going on? Talk to me."

"It's just Renee…" I whisper, looking down at my hands while I twiddle my thumbs.

"What about her?"

"Well, I'm glad she's back, I am, but I don't know. I'm just still really pissed with her," I say quietly, glancing up at her. I sit forward, resting my elbow on my thigh, my chin resting on the palm of my hand.

"She told you why she left, babe," she replies softly, her expression filled with concern.

"Yeah, and I think that's what pisses me off the most." I mumble, sighing heavily and flopping my body back into my seat.

"What, her reason for leaving?" she asks, looking over at me confused.

"Yeah." I respond, bitting my bottom lip.

I know how Tanya must be feeling. My emotions are all over the place so I'm probably making no sense at all. To everyone else, I may seem crazy for still being mad at Renee for leaving the way she did – even when she has a legit excuse. But I can't shake my feelings off about the fact that she shouldn't have made those decisions for Charlie and I.

"Okay, look. I'll tell you this; in life, sometimes bad stuff happens, babe. You just have to remember that you have to find a way to move on somehow. You have to keep your head held high, take a deep breath and remember the things that make you smile instead of the things that make you frown."

The corners of my mouth begin to turn up into a smile. "Always so wise with the life lessons," I murmur, laughing softly.

"I'm a very wise person, you should listen to me." She replies, her tone serious. She looks over to me and grins.

"I don't know what going on in my head right now." I mumble, shaking my head and smiling timidly. "Never mind, don't worry about it. I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Fair enough," she replies, sighing heavily.

"Anyway, you've been on your phone a lot today." I say, quirking my brow.

"Um. Yeah…" she says hesitantly, avoiding my gaze.

"Why?" I ask suspiciously.

"Just had to take care of a few things," she replies. I can see her biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling.

"Like?" I question, looking at her expectantly.

"Nothing important." She says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. "Anyway, we're home now, you better head inside."

"Aren't you coming in?" I ask, furrowing my brow in confusion.

"Nah, I've got a few errands to run." She replies, smiling softly at me. There's a glint in her eyes that makes me suspicious.

"Tanya, what's going on? You're being really weird," I say straightforwardly. "I haven't done anything to upset you, have I?"

"What?" she asks amused, laughing lightly. "Babe, don't be stupid, we're fine. Just go inside, I'll see you later." she assures, smiling kindly at me.

"Okay…" I reply hesitantly, unbuckling my seatbelt before opening the car door and walking to the front door.

* * *

When I walk into the house, my hand flies to my mouth as I gasp in shock. There are candles lit everywhere, rose petals scattered on the floor. As I follow the rose trail from the front door to the kitchen island, I notice the bouquet of roses in a vase on top of the bench. I close my eyes as I breathe in the sent of the roses. When I open my eyes, something seems off, so I pinch one.

"Huh..." I murmur to myself before shaking my head and laughing lightly.

When I look down at the bench, I see an envelope with my name on it, written in Edward's perfect handwriting A smile forms on my lips as I open the envelope, pull out the letter, and begin to read.

_To my dearest Bella. _

_Words cannot describe how much you mean to me and how much I care about you. I know we've been through a lot together, but there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you. I've never felt for anyone the way I feel about you._ _It's like my life didn't begin until you came into my life. Everything about you leaves me in awe. The way you look up at me through your lashes, the way you smile sheepishly when you blush, and the way you bite your bottom lip when you're nervous._ _ You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and you have such a beautiful soul. You've become such a strong person. I'm so proud of you. _

_I love you so much, baby._

_Forever yours, Edward._

_P.S. I've left something for you in your room. Why don't you go take a look? _

I wipe at my eyes as the tears begin to fall. He's the sweetest person I've ever met; he makes me feel so special. I clutch the letter to my chest as I follow the rose petal trail down the hallway and to my bedroom door. I swallow the nervous lump that's formed in my throat before slowly turning the handle and opening the door.

Edward is standing in the middle of my room, a rose in his hand. I can't stop myself from grinning as I step inside and make my way over to him.

"Do a bit of shopping today, did we?" he asks amused, glancing down at the lingerie bag I hold in my hand.

"Uh, yeah…" I murmur, blushing furiously.

"You look beautiful."

"Thanks. Tanya paid for my hair and nails to be done." I look around the room to see that there are candles lit everywhere in here as well, the rose petals leading from the door, all the way to where he stands. I glance over to my bed. There are rose petals in the shape of a heart.

"Edward, everything is so beautiful, how did you do it?" I ask softly, looking back to him.

"Alice gave me some ideas and Tanya kept you busy all day for me."

"I knew something was up with her!"

"Did you have a good day, though?"

"I guess," I reply, shrugging nonchalantly. "What's all this for, though?"

"I told you I wanted it to be special for you."

"What?" I ask, shocked. "You mean, all of this is because…"

"Yeah,"

"Well, that explains why Tanya insisted I buy some lingerie," I mumble.

"Is that what's in the bag?" he asks, amused.

"Don't laugh, it's not funny." I say seriously.

"I'm not laughing," he says, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I can't wait to see you in whatever it is she persuaded you to buy, though,"

"Well, I'll just go change then," I say sultrily, winking before turning away from him and sauntering into my bathroom.

I lean against the door after closing it, closing my eyes and taking long, deep breaths to try and calm myself down. So this is it? Tonight's the night.

_Finally._

Thank god I shaved my legs this morning.

I strip off my clothes and place them on the bathroom counter. I pull the flimsy lingerie out of the bag. It's a shirt that's red silk on the breast cups, a red bow situated in the middle of the chest area, with the rest of the body being black, see through and slit right up the middle. I take a deep breath before pulling it on over my head. I take off my cotton panties, replacing them with the red silk ones that came with the shirt. Well, I wouldn't really call it a shirt. Unless someone forgot the under layer and it was slit down the middle from being in an animal attack or something, but anyway…

I take my hair out of its loose pony tail and run my fingers through it. My hands begin to shake and my body becomes to feel over heated. I turn the tap on and run my hands under the water, spreading it along my arms and behind my neck. It makes me feel a little bit better but I'm still a nervous wreck.

"Bella, are you okay?" Edward calls from my room.

"Yeah, fine. I'll be out in a minute," I assure him, closing my eyes tightly and taking another deep breath. "Don't be a coward. You can do this," I whisper to myself before slipping on the matching red and black heels, swinging the bathroom door open and stepping into my room.

I glide my hand up the frame of the door, leaning against it and placing my other hand on my hip. His eyes roam up and down my body hungrily before he finally meets my gaze.

"You're so beautiful," he says softly, causing the blush to run into my cheeks.

"I'm really not that special." I murmur, smiling sheepishly.

"You don't see yourself clearly," he says, a smirk on his lips as he stalks towards me.

"Thank you?" I question.

He places his hand on my hip and pulls me towards him. When he leans forward, I can feel his breath on my neck and his lips against my ear.

"You're welcome," he whispers, his voice husky.

"How long have you been planning this?" I ask, swallowing the lump that forms in my throat.

"I've been thinking about it for a while," he says, planting a soft kiss at the corner of my mouth. "But I only decided today."

I still can't wrap my head around how far Edward and I have come. There was always that negative thought whispering _"you've hurt him too much, he's not going to want to be anything more than friends now,"_ in the back of my mind. But ever since we took that extra step and extended our relationship further than friendship, we've been taking everything slow. Sometimes, when we get into an argument or a petty fight, one of us will bring up something one of us did that hurt the other. We've been through so much together that by the end of our little tiffs we both apologize and say we love each other.

When I look into his eyes now, I can see the love and adoration he has for me. His green eyes entrance me every single time I look into them. I never thought I'd love someone as much as I love Edward. Whenever I'm not with him his presence still haunts me and I can't get him out of my mind. He's helped me so much with my fears and insecurities. Although I'm still on guard with other people in my life, with him I know there's no point. He knows me completely now and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I smile softly at him before standing on my tippy toes, wrapping my arms around his neck. "It's perfect. Thank you," I tell him quietly, kissing him on the lips.

"You're welcome." He replies, smiling in response before returning my kiss.

"I still can't believe we've come this far," I murmur.

"Everything happens for a reason, all of this has just made us stronger." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

Everything Edward has created tonight is an honest surprise. I'm not gonna lie, I've been thinking about when this time was going to come, but I never thought it would be so soon.

I twine my fingers through his hair as he keeps his eyes on me. He begins trailing kisses down my neck and across my collarbone, making all the feelings inside of me run wild. He slips his arm around my waist and pulls me flush against his chest, softly placing his lips against mine. My lips respond immediately, parting for him inevitably. He slips his tongue inside my mouth; a moan of pleasure escaping both of our lips at the contact. He places his hands on my hips and navigates us to the bed without removing his lips from mine. A giggle escapes my lips as my legs buckle and I fall backwards, the corners of Edward's mouth turning up into a smirk as I scoot up the bed. His eyes follow my every move, raking down my body before finally meeting my gaze again.

He climbs on top of me, ravishing my face with soft kisses before reaching my lips again. I sit up slightly when he runs his hands down my chest and across my torso, making Goosebumps pop up all over my body. I let out a shaky breath when he begins trailing kisses across my stomach.

"Um. Edward?" I whisper hesitantly, causing him to stop what he's doing when my body tenses. I bite my bottom lip when his eyes snap up to meet mine. "Sorry. I just, what am I meant to do? I have no idea what I'm doing," I murmur self-consciously.

He smiles softly at me before leaning up and planting a delicate kiss on my lips. "You don't need to worry about me, if that's what you mean. Tonight's all about you," He says sweetly.

"Okay," I reply quietly.

"Do you want your shirt on or off?" he asks thoughtfully.

"Oh. Um... Does it matter?" I ask, confused. He shakes his head and smiles affectionately at me.

"Not to me. It's your first time, I want you to be as comfortable as possible." he says.

"Okay. Well, off then?" I question.

"Off it is." He responds, smiling as he runs his hands down my arms.

He gathers the hem of my shirt into his hands and pulls it up slowly. I'm not wearing a bra underneath, so after he lifts the shirt up over my head, I smile sheepishly at him.

_Well, I didn't have that on for very long._ I think to myself.

As he leans over me I begin unbuttoning his shirt with fumbling hands. When his shirt is finally removed, I run my hands up his chest and grip his shoulders, pulling him down towards me as I lay down. He trails kisses across my torso, making his way up my neck and along my jaw line.

"Tell me if you become uncomfortable." He says seriously. I nod my head in acknowledgement before connecting our lips once again.

He grips the back of my legs, hitching them up so my knees are aligning with his chest. His hands run up my thighs and slip under the hem of my panties. My back arches in pleasure as he begins to massage my seams, running his thumb across my clit before slipping his fingers inside me. It feels weird at first, but I get used to the sensation quickly as he continues to move his fingers inside me. He removes his lips from mine and begins to plant kisses on my neck, down my collar bone and across my chest. My back arches when he takes my breast into his mouth and massages my nipple with his tongue. He moves from my breast to my stomach, making his way down my torso and to my pelvic line.

My eyes go wide when I realise what he's about to do. I've heard about people going down on each other but to be honest, the sound of it kind of grossed me out. That opinion quickly changes as soon as he flicks his tongue out and runs it up my centre.

"Oh, God," I moan, my hands finding their way into his hair.

He licks and sucks as his fingers continue to make their way in and out of me. I buck my hips, trying to create more friction as the sensation begins to drive me insane. I can't stop the crazy noises that begin to escape my lips at his touch.

"I think I'm close," I say breathlessly, my voice barely audible.

He quickens the pace of his fingers, sucking harder and massaging my clit with his thumb. I begin to pant heavily as the pleasure escalates rapidly.

"Edward. Ah. Oh, God," I gasp, gripping his hair tightly as I hit my climax, my walls tightening around his fingers as I cum. I wince when he pulls his fingers out of me, the blush rushing into my cheeks when he glances up at me.

"You're stunning when you blush," he whispers, kissing me softly on the cheek.

"You're stunning, period." I reply honestly. He chuckles lightly, shaking his head with amusement.

"How do you feel?" he asks hesitantly.

"Very sedated," I murmur, smiling mischievously.

"Good," he responds, planting kisses along my jaw. "I can't wait to make love to you, baby," whispers, placing his lips against my throat and kissing me lightly.

I pull my hands out of his hair and begin to fumble with his belt and unzip his pants. When he pulls down his pants down, he ends up falling on his ass, which causes me to laugh lightly. He laughs with me before throwing his pants – along with his boxes, across the room. I stop short of my laughter, my eyes going wide as I take in the size of him when he crawls back towards me.

"Do you have protection?" I ask breathlessly.

"Of course I do, baby," he assures, smirking before leaning across the bed and pulling a foil wrapper out of the bedside table.

He sits back in front of me, chucking the condom on top of my stomach. I take it in my hands and sit up, laying my legs across his as he sits Indian style. I rip the packet open, swallowing the nervous lump that has formed in my throat. I glance up at him though my lashes and bite my bottom lip as I slide the condom onto his manhood.

"Am I doing this right?" I murmur self-consciously. He places his thumb and index finger under my chin and lifts it until I meet his gaze.

"You're doing perfectly, baby," he assures, smiling at me. I lift my head up to kiss him lightly on the lips; he kisses me back passionately and tenderly, lying directly above me as I lay back down on the bed. I begin to squirm as he runs his cock along my folds, aligning himself with my centre until he's fully lubricated.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

"Yeah," I reply softly.

He leans forward and places his lips on top of mine, kissing me lovingly before pulling away and looking into my eyes. He entwines his right hand with my left and keeps his eyes locked with mine as he eases himself inside me slowly. I grip his hand tightly and bite my bottom lip from the sudden pain.

"Are you okay?" he asks concerned. I nod my head in acknowledgement, not trusting my voice to speak.

I run my free hand up his chest and wrap it around his neck, entwining my fingers into the hair on the nape of his neck. I pull his face back down to mine and kiss him eagerly as he eases the rest of himself inside me.

"Ah," I wince, squinting my eyes closed as I try to overcome the pain.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks, concerned.

"Yeah, it just… hurts," I say through gritted teeth.

"I know, baby, I'm sorry." He replies, stilling inside me and letting me get used to the feeling.

He begins to suck on my bottom lip, releasing it from the death grip of my teeth. I smile appreciatively at him, running my free hand up his chest and around his neck. He pulls out, his eyes locking with mine before pushing back inside me slowly. Our hands stay entwined as he repeats the motion, keeping his strides slow and sensual, making sure I'm comfortable at all times.

"You feel so good, baby," he whispers, breaking our kiss.

I tilt my head to the side, giving him easier access as he begins to trail kisses along my jaw, to my neck and down my chest. My back arches once again when he takes my breast into his mouth again. I lift my hips with each slow thrust he makes, trying to create more friction as the sensation builds up in my stomach. I can tell he's getting close to his orgasm as he struggles to keep his pace steady.

"Faster," I pant, wanting him to experience the feelings I'm feeling.

I remove my arm from around his neck and run it down his chest as he quickens his pace, thrusting his hips more dominantly. Although I want him to go faster so he can get his release, he doesn't forget about me for a second. He slips his hand down between my legs and begins to massage my clit with his palm, showering me with kisses all over my body. I begin to breathe heavily as the pleasure builds up inside me again. As I ride through my release, Edward combusts inside me no more than a few seconds later and slows his stride as he rides out his climax.

I wince as he pulls himself out of me and wraps his free arm around me, rolling us over so I'm lying on top of him. My left hand still entwined with his right. I give it a light squeeze, before letting out a content sigh.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too." I reply quietly, squeezing my body to his as tightly as I can.

He lifts our bodies up to pull the covers out from under us. He pulls the covers over us and when we're settled under the sheets, he begins tracing patterns on my back, eventually putting me to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, I wake up wrapped in Edward's arms. I smile against his chest and tighten my hold on him.

"Morning, beautiful," he says, kissing me on the forehead. I tilt my head up and he kisses me softly on the lips.

"I need a shower," I mumble, causing Edward to chuckle.

I sit up and lean over the bed, grabbing Edward's shirt and putting it on before climbing out of bed and going into the bathroom. I brush my teeth whilst in the shower. When I get out and dry myself, I put Edward's shirt back on. I walk back into my bedroom and put some clean panties on.

"I need coffee," I say. "Do you want some?"

"Sure," he says, closing the distance between us and kissing me softly on the lips. "I'm just gonna have a quick shower, too."

"There should be an old pair of your briefs in my draw, somewhere,"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. They're comfy, okay? Don't judge."

"No judgement here, baby," he says, smirking at me.

He slaps me lightly on the ass when I turn to walk away. I spin around and wave my index finger in front of him before heading out to the kitchen. I make us a pot of coffee while Edward has a shower. I'm sitting on the stool, sipping my coffee when he comes out. My eyes roam his bare chest, causing him to quirk his brow and smirk at me.

"Like what you see?" He quips as he goes over to the pot and pours his coffee.

"Very much so," I reply.

He makes his way over to me and kisses me on the cheek. He sits down on the stool in front of me and I go to sit on his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. I smile against his lips when he kisses me, before passionately kissing him back.

"Did you want to go over to Charlie's and see your mom? We could get the rest of your things from there as well, if you want?"

"Yeah, okay." I reply reluctantly.

"Bella, yesterday you said you wanted to talk. We kind of got distracted, so if you want to talk now, we can."

"Okay. Can we go to the couch?" I ask, climbing off his lap.

"Sure," he replies, entwining his hand with mine as we walk over to the couch. He sits down and I sit down right next to him, laying my legs across his.

"So, what's wrong?" he asks, concerned.

"It's just about Renee."

"What about her?"

"Well, I still have a lot of conflicted feelings towards her." I murmur.

"And what do you think they're about?"

"Her leaving," I reply, sighing heavily. "I know she had an excuse, but for some reason that excuse makes me angry and I can't figure out why."

"Okay, well, maybe it's still about the abandonment aspect of it?" he questions.

"Yeah, maybe," I ponder. "But the way she acted when I got upset with her. She said, 'I thought you wanted me to come here,' and I did, but I just got so angry."

"Have you told her this?" he asks.

"No,"

"Maybe you should. Try and work everything out. Like I told you yesterday, you can't resolve anything if you don't tell her how you're feeling."

"You're so smart," I say, smiling softly at him and kissing him on the lips. "We should probably go," I add, climbing off his lap and standing up.

"Okay,"

"I'm wearing your shirt, though, so you'll have to find something else to wear," I call out to him as I make my way down the hall.

"That's okay, I brought spare clothes," he says from right behind me, making me jump.

"Christ, Edward! You're like a damn ninja; don't sneak up on me like that!" I complain, slapping him on the chest.

"Sorry," he says, chuckling to himself.

"It's not funny; you almost gave me a heart attack." I say seriously.

"You're so adorable. Come on, hurry up and get dressed," he says, tapping me lightly on the ass.

"Whatever," I mumble, removing his shirt and picking my bra up off the ground. I put my bra on and head over to my closest, pulling out my studded, navy blued high waist denim shorts and put them on. I walk back over to my bed and put Edward's shirt back on, tucking it into my shorts.

"Actually, maybe we shouldn't go to Charlie's." Edward says randomly.

"What, why not?" I ask confused, looking up at him as I slip on my white vans.

"Because your mom will know something happened last night and she'll murder me!" he says, the tone of his voice indicating that it's the most obvious scenario in the world.

"Aren't you supposed to be afraid of Charlie for that?" I joke. I stand up off the bed and fold my arms across my chest, quirking my brow.

"I'm not scared of your dad. Your mom on the other hand, I am terrified of." He says seriously.

"You shouldn't be. She's harmless," I reply nonchalantly, the corners of my mouth turning up in amusement.

"She back handed Charlie across the face." He says pointedly, looking at me incredulously.

"Because he deserved it," I say, rolling my eyes. "Come on, you big baby," I add, laughing lightly and entwining my hand with his as I lead him out of my room.

* * *

When we arrive at Charlie's house, Renee is sitting out the front reading a book. She looks up as we pull into the driveway, a smile forming on her lips. She closes the book and places it on the table next to her. Edward walks around the front of the car and opens my car door for me. I smile fondly at him before kissing him softly on the lips. He entwines his hand with mine as we make our way up the drive.

"Hey, kids," Renee greets us cheerfully. "I didn't know you two were coming over today,"

"We just thought we'd come check up on Charlie," says Edward.

"And grab a few more of my things," I add nervously.

"Oh, okay. Bella. how are you feeling?" Renee asks.

"Uh. Fine, why?" I ask, confused.

"Your aura is just really… out there today." she replies, cocking her head to the side.

"Oh god, please don't start with that aura stuff again." I plead.

The front door banging open catches all of our attention. Charlie walks out, rubbing his eyes and yawning widely. When he notices our presence, his eyes go wide and he begins to fidget.

"Charlie, why don't you come sit down?" says Renee.

"I'm not a child, Renee. Don't talk to me like I'm one," he grumbles back before following her order.

"Sorry, love." She says, patting him on the shoulder. "Anyway, I don't know why you're so averted to it, Bella. There's definitely something different about you. It seems so familiar as well…" she says curiously.

"It's nothing, I'm fine. Nothing has changed. Um. I'm just gonna head upstairs." I sputter, smiling awkwardly before going inside.

Edward follows behind me as I make my way up the stairs to my old room.

"I told you she'd notice," he says, poking me lightly in the back.

"Whatever." I reply, swatting his hand away before opening my bedroom door.

"Bella, heaps of your stuff is still here," Edward says, shocked.

"I know,"

"When was the last time you were here?"

"When I left," I mumble.

"Shit. Are you okay being here?" he asks, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just pack up some stuff and get out of here," I reply, pulling some boxes out from under my desk and putting them on my bed.

We gather up the rest of my framed photos, clothes, shoes, CDs, DVDs, books, and school work and pack them all away in separate boxes.

"Man, you have a lot of books." Edward says.

"There's nothing wrong with the amount of books I have. I like to read, okay?"

"Clearly," he responds, laughing lightly. I roll my eyes at him as a smile tugs at the corners of my lips.

Once we've finished packing everything away, we carry the boxes back downstairs.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asks, confused.

"Taking the rest of my stuff back to the cottage."

"Aren't you ever gonna move back, though?" he asks sadly.

"No, Charlie." I reply quietly.

"I know what it is now!" Renee exclaims, jumping up out of her chair and looking between Edward and I.

"What?" I ask hesitantly.

"I know why your aura is that colour." she says softly.

"I don't know what you're talking about, I haven't changed." I insist. My eyes widening as she shakes her head with amusement.

"Oh, honey. You're growing up so fast." she says emotionally, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around me. "Did you use protection?" she whispers, causing me to pull away from her.

"What? How did you know?" I whisper back, glancing at Charlie and then Edward.

"I told you, it's in your aura. And you can't hide that sort of thing from your mother, sweetheart," she says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, well, I thought because you haven't seen me in so long…"

"Just because we've been apart, doesn't change the fact that I'm still your mother and I notice these things." She says lovingly.

"Yeah, and just because you're my mother, doesn't mean you can come back into my life saying, 'I left for you, so you wouldn't have to suffer my illness or condition.', and expect your abandonment to have no consequences." I retort angrily.

"What?" she asks shocked, her eyes widening. "Where did that come from?"

"It's been here all along, I just haven't been able to say anything."

"Why not? You have every right to get all of your feelings out." Renee says.

"I know that, I just didn't know how to put it into words." I respond. "But now I do."

"Go on," she says hesitantly.

"Anything could have happened to me while you were gone and you wouldn't have known because you stayed out of contact. Yeah, you wrote Charlie a letter and I ended up finding it instead of him, but shouldn't you have left _me _a letter? I'm your daughter; you were still responsible for seeing to my wellbeing, health, and safety."

"I know, Bella,"

"Then why didn't you contact me?" I shout. Edward entwines his hand with mine and squeezes it lightly.

"I don't know…"

"You don't know?" I ask incredulously. "Well, that's a shit excuse, isn't it? Just like your excuse for leaving. It's bullshit. You should have told us! Knowing you were sick and getting treatment, keeping in contact with you by long distance and being able to come and visit you would have been better than being abandoned and rejected by you."

"I never thought about it like that, honey. All I could think about was you being scared by seeing me the way I was. It wasn't a pretty thing. I was fatigued all the time, losing my hair, vomiting constantly, losing weight. I didn't want you to witness that."

"You shouldn't have made that decision for me."

"I know that now. I can't change the past, Bella, I can only try and make it up to you and be there for you now, and in the future."

"Things are never going to be the same again, Renee," I say sadly. "You closed your eyes and your heart to what could have happened to me in your absence."

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she whispers, tears forming in her eyes.

"So am I." I reply softly, blinking back tears.

"You can notice what?" Charlie asks, confused, snapping us all back into our previous conversation.

"Nothing," I murmur.

"What are you keeping from me? How has she grown up so fast?" he asks Renee.

"It's nothing to worry about, Charlie. Don't get worked up over nothing."

"I'll get worked up over whatever I want on my own property, thank you." He says sternly.

"Charlie, it's none of your business, so just drop it, okay?"

"You're my daughter. That makes it my business," he says harshly.

"Charlie, stop it." Renee scolds.

"Your daughter?" I ask astonished. "When was the last time you even gave a shit about me to even call me that?"

"Of course I care about you, don't be ridiculous."

"If you cared about me, you never would have hit me." I retort icily.

"That's the biggest regret of my life, Bella. I'll have to live with that until the day I die."

"And who's fault is that?" I ask harshly, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"Bella…" Charlie's voice is filled with despair, and when I open my eyes to meet his gaze, his eyes are welling up with tears.

"You lost all rights as my father when you started neglecting me and blaming me for mom leaving us." I say sadly.

"I know, baby girl. I'm so sorry. I was heartbroken, I blamed the closest person to me; which was you." he replies shamefully.

"That's no excuse. I may be your daughter biologically, but that's where it ends." I say dejectedly, tears falling down my cheeks.

"Bella, you're being pretty hard on him. Everyone makes mistakes," Edward whispers to me.

"Are you really saying that right now?" I ask, spinning around to face him.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," He says, cupping my face in his hands.

I think back on mine and Edward's situation and how he gave me a second chance after the way I treated him. I purse my lips and look away from Edward and back at Charlie. I've never seen him so remorseful.

"I need some time to forgive you," I say softly. "You really hurt me, Charlie. And you're gonna have to do a lot to make it up to me."

"That's fine, I understand." Charlie says softly.

"Same goes for you, Renee," I say, glancing at her.

"I understand as well," she says softly, smiling sadly at me.

When I glance back at Edward, he pulls me into his arms and plants a kiss on my forehead.

"We're gonna head off," he says to Renee, entwining his hand with mine and leading me down the stairs.

"Bella?" Renee questions, running down the stairs after us. When I turn around to face her, she pulls me into a hug.

"I am really sorry." She whispers.

"Yeah," I reply, hugging her back. "Thanks for not telling Charlie."

"Of course," she says, kissing me on the forehead before facing Edward. "Bye, Edward. You look after her, okay?" she smiles affectionately at him and kisses him on the cheek.

"Will do, Mrs. Swan," he replies, smiling kindly at her.

"Good boy." She replies, laughing lightly before turning around and heading back up to the front porch. She leads Charlie inside before turning around and waving at us.

"Come on, let's get out of here," Edward says, pulling me into his side and leading us to the car.

* * *

**So here is the long, anticipated moment! I hope it was worth the wait and good lord, I hope I did it justice! **

**Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and support it means so much to me and I just can't even explain how happy and grateful I am that all of you have stuck with the story.**

**Thank you to MyHeartOfMusic for Beta'ing this chapter, and continuing to Beta the rest of this story for me :)**

**I love you all so much! Please leave a review of your thoughts on the chapter!**

**- nat x**


	44. Family

_**Chapter Forty Four **__– (Family)_

_**BPOV**_

* * *

A comfortable silence falls over us as we pull out of Charlie's driveway and make our way over to Edward's house. My mind is racing a million miles an hour, a thousand different thoughts and conflicted feelings running through me.

I can't believe Renee knew I lost my virginity. How does anyone even know that about someone? She started going on about how I had a different glow around me. Renee is really into all that spiritual stuff. She believes that every person has a different coloured aura around them and it changes colours according to their emotions. She also always claimed that she was able to see set auras.

I get that she's my mother, but she hasn't been a part of my life for five years. She said that just because she hasn't been with me doesn't mean she wouldn't notice that sort of thing about her daughter which caused that hidden anger to rise up inside of me and I snapped at her for leaving again. I never knew how to put the feelings I felt towards my mother into words, but everything just suddenly clicked into place. The reason she gave for leaving is weak and a load of shit. Fair enough she didn't want me to be scared and see her deteriorate, but she still shouldn't have made that decision for me, or Charlie.

Then, to make things even more dramatic, Charlie decided to take that moment to be annoying and try to be a father, insisting he be told what Renee was talking about. This just caused me to lash out at him, because he has no right to act like that after the way he treated me for the last five years. He claims he still cares about me and sometimes the look in his eyes makes me believe him; but too many things have happened between us for me to be able to just forgive him and accept him back into my life.

Charlie became a drunk and shut his emotions down, abandoning me in the process. He said and did some really horrible things to me, one of those things being that he constantly told me it was my fault that Renee left us. He did it so frequently that I eventually believed it, causing me to feel like a screw up and a worthless human being who is never going to be wanted by anyone. He told me countless times that he hated me. He tormented me mentally and eventually, physically abused me.

I developed all of my insecurities because of him, which caused me to end up hurting people who are really important to me and almost ruined my life. The only good thing that came out of the problems I developed was they drove me away from Forks and lead me to Tanya. Everything happens for a reason, so maybe all the things that happened to me and everyone around me were meant to happen to us to make us the people we are right now.

And just like Edward needed time to forgive me, I need time to forgive Renee and Charlie.

Anyway, I guess losing your virginity creates its own special, little aura… That wasn't awkward at all.

"Are you okay?" Edward asks, concerned, placing his hand on my thigh. I place my hand over his, entwining our fingers together.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking."

"About what happened back at Charlie's?" he asks attentively.

"Yeah," I murmur, quietly.

"It'll get better, babe." He says encouragingly.

"I know, it's just hard." I reply, sighing heavily.

"It'll get easier. You just have to fight through it. What Charlie did to you was beyond horrible, but you just have to remember the circumstances that created the whole thing."

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"Well, he was ill. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I know it's a shit excuse for the way he treated you, but it's the truth." He responds, shrugging his shoulders.

"I never thought of it that way," I murmur, glancing at him. He smiles softly, bringing our entwined hands up to his lips and placing a soft his on the palm of my hand.

"He needs help, and when he gets it, you'll see the father you once knew slowly begin to return."

"I hope so," I say softly, sighing heavily. "We used to be so close."

"You'll get that back one day." He assures.

"Things will never be the same, though." I say sadly. Edward removes his hand from mine and wipes a tear away with his thumb.

I didn't even know I was beginning to cry.

"I hate seeing you in so much pain," he says softly, entwining his hand with mine again.

"Thank you for being so amazing." I whisper, squeezing his hand lightly and looking over at him. "I love you," I add, smiling softly.

"I love you too, beautiful," He says, returning the gesture.

I link my arm through Edward's; hugging it tightly as I lean against him and rest my head on his shoulder. I feel his lips press against the top of my head when I close my eyes, the corners of my lips turning up into a smile at the small gesture.

* * *

Jess is cuddling up next to Tanya on one of the arm chairs, Alice and Jasper are sitting next to each other on the couch, Emmett is sitting on the love seat that is situated near the window with Rosalie sitting in between his legs, leaning back against his chest and Carlisle is sitting in the other arm chair closest to the TV.

When we walk into the living room, everyone's heads snap up and turn in our direction. Alice, Tanya and Rose are beaming at me, while Jasper is smirking and Emmett hooting like a beast, throwing his fist up into the air. Rosalie rolls her eyes, elbows him in the chest and whispers something into his ear, causing him to go silent, his eyes looking like they're about to pop out of his head.

When I glance over at Jess, her expression is filled with confusion to everyone's reaction. It dawns on me that she was the only one that didn't know about Edward's plans. The blush automatically rushes into my cheeks as I think of that night. Tanya sits up and whispers something in Jessica's ear, causing her eyes to go wide with shock before a grin crosses her face. I roll my eyes at her, entwining my hand with Edward's and leading us over to the couch. Edward sits down on the floor, his back against the couch. He pulls me down in front of him and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling my back flush against his chest and kissing me softly on the neck.

"So, how was your night, guys?" Emmett questions, waggling his eyebrows at us. I narrow my eyes at him and Edward flips him the bird.

"God, do you even have a filter to your brain?" Rose asks exasperatedly, swatting him on the arm.

"I think he just chooses not to use it," Alice says seriously, picking up a pillow and throwing it across the room at him. He catches it and smirks at her, causing her to narrow her eyes.

"Everyone should know by now that Emmett is a shit stirrer and isn't afraid to speak his mind," Jasper jokes.

"Yeah, I sure learnt that pretty fast." Jessica says through a laugh.

"What? Oh, my god. Emmett, tell me you haven't been harassing her about her sexuality! You are so rude sometimes!" Rose scolds him, this time punching him in the bicep.

"Owe! Rosie, will you stop?" Emmett complains. "It's all just a bit of fun, jeez!" he adds, rubbing the spot where Rose hit him.

"It's alright, honestly." Jess assures. "I need to get used to that kind of stuff once everyone finds out at school. And it's not like he was doing it maliciously," she adds dejectedly.

"I'll have your back," Alice says cheerfully.

"Me too," I agree.

"And I'll just come back and fuck anyone up if they mess with you," Rose says seriously. "Especially now that you're part of our gang and not associating with that trashy bitch anymore," she adds, disgust clear in her voice.

"I'm sorry; I know she's a chick, but she made me want to put her head through a wall for treating my girl and my sisters the way she did," Edward says seriously, shocking everyone in the room.

"Edward, that's no way to speak about a lady," Carlisle says.

"Well, lucky for him, Lauren isn't a lady. Rose quips, causing everyone in the room to laugh.

"Rosalie Lillian Hale," Carlisle addresses her sternly.

"What?" she says innocently, smiling sweetly. Carlisle lets out a heavy sigh before rolling his eyes.

"She certainly doesn't sound like a very nice person." Tanya says through a light laugh.

"You know about her?" Jessica asks hesitantly.

"Yeah, Bella told me everything in California." Tanya replies.

"Oh, god," Jessica groans shamefully.

"Hey, it's okay. I still love you," Tanya assures her cheekily.

"Thanks," Jess replies, laughing lightly. "I love you, too,"

"I can't believe Renee is back. How are you holding up, Bella?" Alice asks.

"Yeah, I'm alright," I reply, the corners of my mouth turning up into a smile.

"The three of us really need to have a day together," Jess says.

"Yeah, one day…" I respond cautiously, smiling kindly at her.

"Are you okay?" she asks, concerned.

"I'm still trying to sort my feelings out. A lot of work needs to be done to repair mine and Renee's relationship. And I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that she's really back," I say.

"I missed her so much." Jess says wretchedly.

"I missed her too, Jess." I reply, smiling sadly at her. "We can hang out like old times soon. Maybe it'll even be easier with you there."

"Sounds good." She responds, smiling kindly.

"Okay, it's girl time!" Alice exclaims, jumping off the couch.

"What?" I ask, confused.

"We girls are going upstairs to spend some time together."

"Do we have to?" I groan.

"Yes." she says pointedly, looking at me expectantly before glancing at Edward, and then back to me.

Oh, good lord. Please don't tell me she wants to talk about last night.

"No way, Alice, that is not happening."

"I don't know what you're talking about." She says innocently, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me to my feet.

I latch on to Edward's arm and turn my head towards him, my eyes widening with fear.

"Please, save me," I tell him.

"Alice, don't be so annoying," Edward says, pulling on my other arm.

"Edward, if you value your life, you'll let her go,"

"It's got nothing to do with you," he replies seriously.

"Come on, Bella, you're my best friend! Don't deprive me of this." She whines, turning to face me. She pouts her and puts her puppy dog eyes on full force.

"It's none of your business, Alice!" Edward exclaims.

"Dear lord, everyone just shut up with the domestics," Rose says. "Bella, just give up, babe. You know how Alice is," she adds, walking over to us and removing Alice from my arm and extending her hand out to me.

"Fine," I mumble, sighing heavily. I turn around and kiss Edward lightly on the lips, before taking Rosalie's hand in mine. She pulls me to my feet and smiles appologetically at me.

"Let's get this show on the road." Tanya says, smirking.

"Why do you even care? All of you pretty much knew about it before me and helped him!" I complain, folding my arms across my chest.

"I didn't know anything," Jess says, holding her palms up in a surrendering position.

"Ugh, whatever, let's just get this over with." I mumble.

In the corner of my eye, i can see each and every one of them pursing their lips to stop themselves from laughing. I roll my eyes before walking away from them and heading towards the staircase.

* * *

"I don't know what the big deal is, Bella," says Alice.

We're in her room and I'm sitting Indian style on her bed while Tanya and Jess sit on the love seat, Rose sits on the computer chair and Alice sits beside me on her bed.

"I just don't like talking about this stuff," I murmur uncomfortably.

"It's not like we want to know specific details," she replies, rolling her eyes.

"Dear god no," Jess says, screwing up her nose in disgust.

"Oh, don't be such a prude. Just because you don't like the cock," Rose teases, smirking.

"You are so disgusting." Tanya retorts, throwing a pillow at Rose.

"We just want to know how everything went, what you thought, your reaction, etcetera." Alice says, continuing the conversation.

"I was… shocked, in awe, ecstatic," I say quietly. "And, I don't know? Everything was just perfect; he went to so much trouble."

"He wanted it to be special for you," Alice says.

"Well, he succeeded." I reply, smiling softly.

"Did he like your little present?" Tanya asks mischievously.

"What present?" Jess asks.

"She bought some sexy lingerie." Tanya replies.

"Only because you made me, you sly bitch."

"Well, did he like it?" she probes, grinning.

"He loved it," I reply softly, my cheeks flushing.

"Didn't stay on for long, did it?" she teases.

"You're as bad as Emmett," I murmur, narrowing my eyes at her.

"You love me." She says, grinning brightly.

"So, were you okay?" Jess asks quietly.

"What do you mean?" I ask, confused.

"You know, when you…" says Alice.

"Oh. Yeah, he was… very gentle."

"Not too gentle, I hope." Rose quips, smiling evilly.

"Oh, god," I groan, throwing my head into my hands.

"Rose, don't be mean." Alice says as she laughs lightly.

"You guys suck," I mumble into my hands.

"But seriously, I think I speak for all of us when I say we're glad it was a good experience for you," Alice says sincerely.

"Lord knows, you've been throwing yourself at him for ages." Rose teases.

"You are the devil's spawn, I swear," I retort, laughing lightly.

"Hey, I'm only speaking the truth," she says, grinning at me.

"Are we done? Can we go back down now?"

"God, didn't you get enough of Edward last night?" Jess jokes, shocking everyone.

"Jess!" I exclaim, shaking my head in amusement as a smile ghosts across my lips.

* * *

It's in the late evening when the girls and I all head back downstairs. Emmett and Jasper are playing Call of Duty while Edward watches. I walk over to the couch and cuddle up next to Edward, His arms wrapping around me as he kisses me on the forehead. Tanya and Jessica resume their former positions on the arm chair; Alice sits beside Jasper while Rosalie goes and sits between Emmett's legs, taking the controller out of his hand.

"Baby!" he exclaims, looking at her with wide eyes.

"What?" she asks innocently. "You're getting your ass kicked."

She furrows her brow in concentration, her tongue flicking out and resting on her top lip as she presses all the buttons on the controller furiously. When I glance at the TV Jasper lets out a groan as his character falls to his knees and his screen goes red.

"Incredible," Emmett murmurs in awe. He moves Rosalie's hair to the side and kisses her on the back of the neck.

"How are you even that good at it?" Jasper whines.

"I play it when I get bored," she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. "You wanna go round two?"

"You're on." He says determinedly.

"No way, I want to verse my girl!" says Emmett, reaching across and taking the controller out of Jasper's hands.

"Hey, give it back!" Jasper cries.

"Jazz, calm down," says Alice.

"Yeah, do what your woman says," Emmett retorts.

"Shut up, Emmett." Alice scolds.

"Don't be a dick, give it back," Jasper complains.

"No, you just played her."

"Not for the whole game!"

"So? It's my turn." Emmett says mischievously.

"Christ, you two are such girls," Rose ridicules, rolling her eyes.

"Screw you, Rosalie," Jasper says angrily.

"No thanks, I'm not into incest." She retorts.

"That is so wrong, Rose," says Alice, screwing up her nose in disgust.

"Whatevs," Rose replies, laughing lightly.

"Come on, Jazz, we can play cards." Alice says soothingly before standing.

"Jeez, that sounds like great fun." Emmett mocks.

"Emmett, if you don't shut the fuck up, I'll do it for you." Alice says icily, shocking everyone with her outburst.

"Easy there, tiger," Emmett murmurs. Rosalie reaches over and punches him in the arm.

"Ow!" he cries.

"Come on, Ali," says Jasper, sighing heavily before standing and entwining his hand with hers, leading her out of the room.

"You can be such an ass sometimes," says Rose.

"What?" Emmett asks incredulously. "You were the one tormenting him,"

"You're all a bunch of babies, anyway. Fucking hell," Edward says, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, Edwardo," Rose says before turning around and setting up the next game for her and Emmett.

"So, how was your 'girl talk'?" Edward asks quietly, making quotation marks with his hands.

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. They just wanted to know what my reaction was to everything,"

"To the romance or the sex?" he asks, smirking.

"All of it." I murmur, my cheeks flushing furiously.

"And?" he probes.

"It was all very touching and amazing," I reply, glancing up at him. "You already know, you were there."

"I'm glad I pleased you." He replies, laughing lightly.

"Oh, you certainly did." I say, teasingly.

"Bella, are you being naughty?" he questions, mocking shock.

"I'll be naughty if you want me to be," I reply sultrily, winking at him.

"Do I need to take you up to my room?" he asks huskily.

"I don't know, do you?" I tease.

Edward's lips are on mine within the next second, kissing me passionately as he twines his hands into my hair. I run my hand up his chest and around his neck. He shifts his body so he's facing me, pushing me down on the lounge with his body.

"Christ, are you two right there?" Tanya asks incredulously.

I turn my head to the side to meet her gaze. I grin at her before looking back at Edward. He smirks before sitting back and pulling me up by my arms.

"What on earth brought that on?" Tanya asks.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Edward teases.

"No, actually," she replies, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Gross." Jess murmurs, her shoulders shuddering.

"What's gross?" Alice asks cheerfully as she walks into the room, Jasper by her side.

"Bella and Edward were just being disgusting on the couch," Says Tanya.

"Replaying last night's events, were you?" Jasper teases, causing me to blush.

"We were just mucking around," I murmur.

"While sucking face and groping each other," Jess says.

"Oh well, you're a part of our family now, better get used to it." Jasper says, laughing lightly.

"Baby, you're so cute!" Alice coos.

"Really, Jazz?" Rose asks sarcastically.

"So insightful, man," Edward teases.

"Shut up, asshole," Jasper retorts.

"Mind your language, boys," Esme scolds as she walks into the room.

"Sorry, Mom," Jasper and Edward mumble simultaneously.

"So, is everyone staying for dinner tonight? We can have a big official family dinner?" Esme asks cheerfully. "Oh, maybe we could invite Charlie and Renee too?" she adds, glancing over at me.

"Oh. Um, that's really nice of you Esme, but Charlie is kind of still recovering from the shock that mom's back and working on his other issues. I think they just need to be alone to sort everything out." I reply regretfully.

"Oh, that's understandable. How silly of me," Esme scolds herself.

"I'll help you cook, though." I say, standing up and walking over to her.

"Me too!" Jess agrees enthusiastically.

I glance over my shoulder and smile brightly at her as she jumps up off the couch and makes her way toward us. I extend my hand behind my back towards her. She takes my hand in hers and links her arm through mine, the smile on her face just a bright as mine.

* * *

After we have dinner, everyone relocates to the lounge room again. I sit beside Edward on the couch, his arm wrapped around me. He plays with my hair and kisses me softly on the cheek.

Rosalie and Tanya are playing Call of Duty, Jessica and Alice are browsing through fashion magazines, Jasper and Emmett are playing a game of chess and Esme is cuddled up in Carlisle's lap reading a book while he strokes his fingers up and down her arm, flippantly watching the girls play the video game.

I can't stop the smile that forms on my lips. Everything is falling into place. My mom is back, I know why she left now and we're sorting out our issues. I'm working on my relationship with Charlie. He's getting counselling and working on his drinking problem. I know it's going to be hard to get back on track with him and things won't be back to normal straight away. But I don't think my relationship with him will ever be the same with him, again; at least I can patch it up enough so there's no hostility between us.

But nothing can change the fact that these guys have become my family now. They were there for me when no one else was. They made that hope spark up inside of me and made me feel like I was worth being apart of their lives. They showed me what real love and friendship is.

"I'm so glad you guys are apart of my family," I whisper to Edward, tilting my head to look at him.

"Do you have any idea how great it feels to hear you say that? I feel like I'm on cloud nine," he replies, cupping my face in his hands.

"Well, you are my family now, mom being back doesn't change anything; but can I ask you something?"

"Anything,"

"Why do you love me?" I ask nervously.

"I love you because you're the most beautiful girl; inside and out, that I have ever met in my life. I love you because every time you smile it's the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I love you because every time I hear you laugh, it brings a smile to my face. I love you because every time you fall over or hurt yourself, you cuss like a sailor." He laughs lightly, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I love you because every time you blush, it makes you look radiant. I love you because you always put me in my place when I'm being an asshole. I love you because you make me a better person." He smiles affectionately at me before entwining his hands with mine. "I love you because you're the answer to my questions. You're every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we're together is the greatest day of my life. I'll always be yours."

"And you'll always be mine." I reply softly, my voice breaking with emotion. Edward cups my face in his hands and wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

"I hope you know I'm not going anywhere, ever again. You can't get rid of me now," I whisper, grinning at him.

"I'd never dream of it. I plan on making you my wife and creating our own little family together one day," he says affectionately.

"I look forward to it." I whisper, closing my eyes as he leans forward and places his lips softly against mine.

And in that moment, all of my fears and insecurities of never being enough for Edward, finally come undone and drift away.

* * *

**So here it is... the last chapter of Coming Undone! *sobs* I can't believe it's really finished. I've had it complete for a while, but actually posting it makes it real. I'm so sorry about the extremely, long delay of this chapter! My Beta and I have had so many problems with trying to get it through Hotmail! But it's finally here! So, YAY! :D**

**I hope you all enjoy it, and I really, really hope it was all worth the wait!**

**Thank you all for your continuous support. I've met so many lovely, kind-hearted people who have read this story and every single nice thing you've all said to me is beyond appreciated. I have no words to express how grateful I am for all of you being so positive and encouraging. So once again, thank you so, so much! I love you all!**

**- Nat x**

_**p.s. yes, there will be an Epilogue ;)**_


	45. Epilogue

_**A/N**_

_*****IMPORTANT - PLEASE READ*****_

_**Hey guys! I'm so, so, so sorry it's taken me this long to finally post the Epilogue to this story. I can't even explain how i ashamed i am that it's taken me over three years! I never wanted to be one of those authors, who just suddenly stop updating, or leave a story unfinished with no explanation. **_

_**The only excuse i have is that i was really busy with studying, then real life and family troubles got in the way. Then both my amazing Beta's become really busy with their real life and didn't have the time to Beta the chapters for me. I hope you don't hate me now and haven't flounced! Although, i don't blame you if you have.**_

_**Before i shut up**__****__** so you can read the final chapter, i need to do a huge, HUGE, shout out to kitchmill! She Beta'd this chapter and the outtake for me so, so quickly after only talking to me once! Thank you so, so much lovely!**_

* * *

_**Chapter Forty Five **__- (Epilogue)_

_**BPOV**_

"Dex? Livie?" I call out as I wander into the open clearing. "Where did you guys go?" I raise my hand in front of my face, shielding my eyes from the hot California sun.

I see a very familiar spot of short, auburn coloured hair and long, brunette curls poking out behind the side of a tree. I smile softly, making my way over to them.

"Where, oh where, could Liv and Dexter be?" I question, glancing around the clearing. I can hear them giggling as I make my way over to them.

"There you are!" I exclaim playfully, jumping out from around the tree. "Where's your daddy?" I ask, vertically leaning against the tree.

Olivia shrugs, looking me square in her eyes. "We don't know," she says innocently.

"Oh?" I question, quirking my brow.

"Nope, we don't know where he went," concludes Dex, feigning a straight face.

"Is that right?" I ask, kicking myself of the tree and placing my hands on my hips. The corner of my mouth turns up into a smirk as they begin to take a few steps back, putting some distance between us. "Well, it looks like you two are mine for the taking!" I declare, grinning at them.

Their eyes go wide before they turn around and begin running away from me. They giggle between themselves as I chase after them. Laughter wisps from my lips as I scoop them up in my arms and pull them down onto the ground with me.

"Dad!"

"Daddy, help!" Dex and Liv exclaim simultaneously, giggling hysterically with grins on their faces.

Edward jumps out from behind a tree a few feet away from us. "Nobody fear, daddy is here!" he exclaims, making his way over to us.

Edward wraps his arms around my waist, lifting me off the ground and slinging me over his shoulder. He trips over his feet and we tumble towards the ground. He rolls us over so he's lying on top of me, placing his hands on either side of my face as his body pins me down.

"Get her!" Dexter and Olivia exclaim in unison, running over to Edward and me and jumping on top of both of us.

"What do you think, kids?" Edward inquires, looking at them seriously. "The tickle monster?"

"Yeah, the tickle monsta!" they cheer in chorus.

"Oh, please, no! Not the tickle monster!" I plead, resting the back of my hand on my forehead.

"The tickle monster it is!" Edward says, tickling me on the ribs and all over my body. I squirm and thrash my body around, trying to escape. The kids join in; their laughter carrying it's way to my ears. I laugh hysterically, pleading with them to stop.

It's moments like these that I'm thankful for Edward. We made these two beautiful children together and I wouldn't trade them in for anything in the world.

After Edward and I graduated high school, we moved to California to go to college at Stanford University. I worked back at the Diner with Garrett, Kate, Alec and Felix, while studying for my Bachelor degree in Sociology for four years. I'm now a Children's Social Worker. Edward studied business and created his own Big Brother and Sister program here in California.

After we left Forks, I stayed in contact with Renee and Charlie. Edward and I always take the kids back to Forks to visit them and every time we make our way there, I always think back to the day I finally had a bit of a break through with them.

* * *

"_Bella, please," Renee begs softly. "Can we talk privately for a minute?" I look up at her, her eyes piercing into mine pleadingly._

"_Anything you have to say can be said in front of Edward." I reply, folding my arms across my chest._

"_It's okay, Bella. Go," Edward encourages, kissing me softly on the cheek._

"_Fine," I murmur, sighing heavily. "I need to pack a few things from the kitchen, anyway." I add, picking up an empty, cardboard packing box and striding inside._

_I don't bother trying to prevent the screen door from closing shut behind me, slamming right in Renee's face. I hear her open the door, following hot on my heels as I head straight into the kitchen, placing the box on the kitchen bench. _

"_You wanted to talk, so talk," I say, turning my back on her. _

"_I don't know what else to say to show you how sorry I am for leaving the way I did," Renee says quietly. "I thought leaving was the best thing for you at the time. You've always been a timid, little girl and we were always so close. I was scared what it would do to you once you found out there was a possibility I might not survive the cancer."_

"_Did you really think lying was doing the best thing for me?" I ask angrily, leaning against the bench._

"_Sometimes it is …" her eyes fill with remorse. "Like, when you were younger; I told you your pet rabbit escaped. Did you really want to hear that he was mauled by a fox?"_

"_Mr. Snowflake?" I ask, shocked._

"_In life, you have to make judgement calls. Are they always right? No, it's not rocket science."_

"_And abandoning your child because you have cancer isn't lying about a Rabbit dying," I snap back, turning my back on her again. I move across the kitchen, browsing through the cupboards and grabbing my coffee mugs and blender, packing them away. _

_"Everything alright?" _

_I look over my shoulder to see Charlie walking into the kitchen, making his way to stand next to Renee. Edward is leaning up against the fridge. I smile tenderly at Edward before turning back around._

"_Everything's fine," Renee murmurs, sighing heavily. _

"_Bella, are you okay?" Charlie asks, concerned._

"_I'm fine," I reply tersely, glancing at him quickly as I pack my China teapot and porcelain tea set into the box._

_I'm searching for other belongings, through yet another cupboard, when Charlie speaks up again._

"_Bella, we just need –"_

_I slam the cupboard shut, swiftly turning around to face Charlie and Renee. "What?" I snap, cutting him off. "You need what, Charlie? Because that's what it's always been about. You needed me to buy the groceries, you needed me to cook your dinner, you needed me to do your laundry and you needed me to keep the house clean and tidy. So, what do you need now? Do you need me to forgive you?" I ask angrily._

"_Yes," he chokes out, his voice thick with sadness._

"_Fine. I forgive you," I scoff, pursing my lips._

"_But you don't really mean it," says Renee, uncertainly._

"_No, it's a lie! Because that's what we do for each other, lie. That's what I learned from the one person I'm supposed to trust!" I shout as I take a step closer to them. "So you want me to forgive you, for the big lie, which has defined my life?"_

_Edward walks over to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as I looked into his eyes pleadingly. He entwines his hand with mine, smiling tenderly and nodding his head. I break our gaze, exhaling a shaky breath before facing my parents again._

"_Why did you lie to me?" I ask softly. _

"_I wanted to tell you the truth. I even planned to tell you, but you would look up at me with those big, brown eyes, so trusting," she smiles timidly, a sadness in her eyes I've never seen before. Except for the day before she left me._

"_You didn't think I could handle it?" _

"_You were the most important thing in the world to me, honey. You still are," She says softly. "If I could go back and undo it all, I would. But it's too late for that, but not for us."_

"_You can't lie to me anymore." _

_She straightens her back, looking straight into my eyes._ "_I won't." _

_I look between her eyes, finding any hint of a lie, coming up short. _"_Even if it hurts... I'm a big girl, I'm tough. I can take it," I say seriously._

_Her smile is small. Tender. But the rest of her expression is set firm with determination._ "_I'll always be honest with you," _

"_So will I," Charlie chimes in._

"_You never lied to me, Charlie." _

"_No, I know, but I've done some horrible things. I won't ever be that way again," he says earnestly._

"_You need to get help for your drinking problem," I tell him, looking at him meaningfully._

"_I will. I mean, I am." he sputters eagerly._

_"A__ professional?"_

___"__I swear, I am, Bella."_

"_Good," I murmur quietly, making my way around the kitchen island and closing the distance between us, Charlie and Renee's arms wrapping around me._

* * *

Edward proposed during our second year of college. We got married during our third year, and I became pregnant with Dexter and Olivia less than a year into our marriage. I juggled going to College and being pregnant all at once. If it wasn't for Edward, i probably would have dropped out of my classes from all the stress i was feeling and my emotions being heightened from the crazy hormones. Olivia and Dexter were born three months before we graduated. I remember seeing them out in the crowd, being bounced up and down in Renee and Esme's arms as i accepted my diploma from the Dean.

And I'll never forget the day they were born.

_"Are you sure you still want to go out?" Edward asks, as I walk into the living room._

_I glance over at him. "Of course. It's date night,"_

_"We could just have date night here," he offers._

_"I want to go out," I insist, smiling sweetly at him._

_"Are you sure, Bella? You're nine months pregnant and just about ready to pop," he says concerned._

_I quirk my brow. "Is this you trying to tell me I look fat in a nice way?" _

_He rolls his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching with amusement. "Of course not. You're beautiful," he chuckles lightly, making his way over to me. "I just don't want you to be uncomfortable," he places his hand on top of my extremely huge belly._

_I smile fondly at him, placing my hand on top of his. "I'll be fine, Edward. I've been cooped up in this house for weeks." _

_He smiles affectionately at me, leaning forward. I wrap my arms around his waist, closing my eyes and letting out a content sigh. _

_____His lips lightly connect with my temple. _"Okay, if you're sure," 

_"You're impossible," I mumble against his chest. I pull out of our embrace, rolling my eyes and shaking my head with amusement. I walk down the hall, heading into the bathroom. _

_As I apply my compact powder to my face, I begin to feel a heavy pressure in my lower abdomen. I take a deep breath, shaking it off because i'm pretty certain it's just Braxton Hicks contractions. After the pain subsides, I put on a little eye-liner, followed by some mascara and a light blush. _

_Twenty minutes later, when I'm in the middle of fixing my hair, I feel pressure in my lower abdomen again, __a sharper pain this time,_ something similar to menstrual cramps. "Ah," I hiss, placing my palms on the basin. I clench my teeth, sucking in a sharp breath and clutch my stomach as another round of pain attacks me. "Fuck!" I cuss under my breath, the pain becoming sharper. 

_I sit down on the toilet and put my head between my knees, breathing in and out slowly. After doing that for a few minutes, I feel __what seems to be a pop in my stomach, like an elastic band being snapped. A__s soon as I stand up, water rushes down my legs and onto the bathroom floor, my eyes widening in shock. _

_"Edward?" I call out, staring at myself in the mirror just as another pain–that was obviously a contraction–shoots through me. "Edward?" I choke out again, my voise raising with panic. _

_Where is he? _

_"Just a second, babe," he finally responds._

_"Edward, my water just... broke. Get your... ass in here... now!" I shout between quick, short breaths. _

_In a matter of seconds, Edward is running through the bathroom door. "Holy shit, you weren't kidding."_

_"Why would I joke about this?!" I ask incredulously._

_"What? I don't know." __His eyes are wide, darting all over the place, looking at me all over._ "Shit. Are you okay, baby?"

_"Do I look okay?!" I exclaim, another set of contractions hitting. God, these contractions are coming on fast._

_"Right. Stupid question, sorry," he murmurs, brushing the hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. _

"_Towels. I need towels." I brush past him, heading to the linen closet before he gently places his hands on my shoulders._

"_Whoa, slow down," he chuckles, standing in front of me. "What for?" he asks, confused._

"_To put on the car seat, my waters will still be leaking. I need towels, I—"_

"_You're worried about ruining the car seat?" he cuts me off, his eyes sparkling with mirth. "Babe, who cares about the car seat."_

"_Edward." _

"_Let's go." He spins me around, leading me down the hall. _

"_Edward!" I plant my feet firmly on the ground and yank on his hand, causing him to spin around and collide into the front of me. "Just get the goddamn towels!"_

"_Okay, okay." He throws his hands up in a signal of surrender, disappearing in the direction we just came from, returning with his arms full of towels. "Alright, now let's get you to the hospital." He leads me out of the bathroom, through the house and out to the car._

_"Wait." Edward almost falls over after I abruptly spin around. "My bags?" _

_"Already in the trunk, baby." He helps me into the passenger seat, buckling me in, and kisses me on the cheek before closing the door and running around to the driver's side. _

_"Well, this is going to be an interesting date night," he jokes, turning the key in the ignition._

_"Shut up," I grumble, causing him to chuckle._

_I lean my head back against the seat, closing my eyes and focus on my breathing as we make our way to the hospital._

_A few hours later I'm cooped up in a hospital bed, trying to concentrate on my breathing while I wait until I'm completely dilated. I don't know what convinced me to have a natural birth and not a C-section. Or get the epidural. _

_Oh, wait, that's right. I hate the feeling of being paralysed. Damn my fears to hell._

_"Somebody get these kids out of me now!" I groan, leaning forward with my legs bent, panting as the contractions continue to rock throughout me._

_"You're almost completely dilated, honey. It won't be long now," the midwife, who's name is Jill, assures me._

_"You said that an hour ago!" I exclaim angrily. "Don't lie to me." _

_My head whips to the side at the sound of Edwards soft chuckle, the amusement leaving his face the moment he takes in my annoyed expression. "Laugh it up, buddy. Your anaconda is never entering the promise land ever again after this." _

"_You can't resist this, baby." He winks, still chuckling._

"_You think I'm joking," I deadpan. "You realise there'll be no sex for six weeks after this anyway."_

_His face falls. "What?"_

_I quirk my brow, smirking. "Ain't so funny now, is it?"_

_As Edward shakes his head in amusement, I scrunch my face up in pain as another round of contractions decide to make themselves known. _

_Noticing my discomfort, Edward begins stroking my hair. "Just breathe, Bella." _

_"Don't tell me what to do. You did this to me," I say through gritted teeth. "You suck," I cry, slapping him on the chest. When he stays silent I feel horrible. I gather his shirt in my hand, pulling him closer to me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," I sob into his chest._

_"I know, baby," he coos wrapping his arm around my shoulders. He pulls my hand to his mouth, planting a kiss on the palm of my hand. I glance up at him and he smiles affectionately at me._

_"I love you," I mumble, causing him to chuckle. He abruptly cuts himself off as I grip his hand tightly when another round of contractions come through. _

_"Fuck!" I hiss as Jill has another look at my downstairs wonder._

_"Okay, looks like you're good to go, I'll go get Doctor Reed," she says before leaving the room._

_"Thank god," I groan. "Where the hell are the girls?!" I complain just as the curtain is pulled back._

_"We're right here, babe," says Tanya, rushing to my side._

_"How are you doing, Bella?" Alice asks cheerfully._

_"Just peachy," I grumble._

_"How do you think she's doing, Alice?" Rose exclaims. "She's in labour!" _

_"I was just being polite!" Alice screeches defensively._

_"Guys, stop it! Bella doesn't need this negative energy around her!" Jessica yells._

_"Whoa." Dr. Reed stops in her tracks as she enters the room. "Are all of you staying for the show?" _

_"Yes," I reply straight away, glancing at all of them. "I need all of them here." _

_"Well, okay then," Dr. Reed chuckles lightly. "Let's get this show on the road." _

_An hour later, I'm screaming my head off as I push out what feels like a watermelon coming out of my vagina. Tanya consistently applies cold washers on my forehead, while Alice massages my temples. Jessica is standing next to Tanya, allowing me to cling to her hand for dear life and helping me with my breathing techniques. Rosalie is helping me change into different positions, helping me roll to my side, guiding me off my bed and onto the exercise ball, until I end up back in my original position on my back on the bed. _

_Sobs shake through me as tears stream down my face. "I can't do this anymore."_

_"You're so strong, Bella. You can do it," Rosalie encourages._

"_Edward?" My voice is raspy and thick with exhaustion. "I'm so tired." _

"_I know, baby." Edward rests his forehead against mine. "You're doing so well, beautiful girl," he whispers, kissing me softly on the tip of my nose. _

_"I look like a sweaty ogre right now,"__ I sniffle, my voice cracking._

_"No, you don't," he says seriously, his eyes fierce. "You've never looked more beautiful in your life than you do now." _

_"You're such a sa-ahhhh!" I shriek, cutting myself off. "Why won't these babies just get out of me!"_

"_They'll be here soon, Bella," Alice soothes._

"_Somebody just put me out of my misery and shoot me in the face!" _

"_Okay, that's it. I'm going to get Esme," Rosalie concludes._

"_I'll come with you and get Renee," says Jessica, prying her hand out of my death grip._

_Ten minutes later, Esme and Renee burst through the door. As soon as I see them I burst into uncontrollable sobs again, causing them to rush to my side. Tanya and Alice move out of the way so they can take their positions._

"_Oh, honey, it's okay," Renee soothes, kissing me on the cheek and taking my hand in hers._

"_I want to die," I complain, squeezing Renee's hand. "This fucking sucks."_

_Esme chuckles and shook her head with amusement. "It's not long to go now, sweetheart, you're doing perfect," she says, smoothing the hair off of my forehead. _

_I glance at Edward and he smiles affectionately at me. "We are not having any more children." I say seriously. _

_His fond smile turned into an amused grin. "Okay," he says, leaning forward and kissing me lightly on the lips. "Two is fine with me."_

"_Okay," said Dr. Reed, slapping her hands together. "Are you ready to push again, Bella?" _

"_No," I grumble, shaking my head. "I can't do it, just give me a C-section."_

"_It's too late to do that now, honey," Jill adds._

"_Well, give me more drugs then!" I exclaim._

"_Come on, sweetheart," Jill continues to encourage. "Just a few more pushes and you'll have your beautiful babies here with you." _

"_I think I may strangle them for doing this to me," I murmur, begrudgingly._

"_We're gonna go and let you get to it," says Rose._

"_What?" I ask panicked. "You can't leave!"_

"_You've got Edward and your moms, that's all you need, babe," Tanya says soothingly._

"_No," I plead. "No, no, no. I need you here with me."_

"_Well, Tanya can stay but the rest of us can go," offered Jessica. _

"_But I need all of you," I cry, tears falling down my cheeks._

"_You'll be fine, Bells, we'll be back before you know it," Rosalie assures._

"_You're doing fantastic," says Alice, smiling brightly. "We'll see you soon, babe." _

"_Wait," I plead, my eyes widening. "Jess, stay." _

"_Are you sure?" she asks uncertainly, glancing at Alice. _

_I look over at Alice to see if she's hurt by my choice, but all I can find is encouragement and a nod of reassurance._

"_Please, Jess?" I beg. "You're my best friend. Stay." I extend my hand out towards her._

"_Okay," she responds softly, making her way back over to me and clasping my hand in hers._

_Rosalie and Alice say goodbye to everyone and both kiss me on the cheek before heading out to the waiting room._

"_Okay, Mrs. Cullen," Dr. Reed addresses me, pulling us all back to attention. "Time to push again." _

_I take a deep breath, lean forward and do as Dr. Reed says, pushing with all the might and strength I have in my body. About half an hour later, I hear the high pitch cry of a baby. _

"_It's a girl," Dr. Reed says, grinning at me._

_I stare in wonder before glancing up at Edward. He grins down at me, his eyes glazed with un-shed tears. I look back at the end of the bed, just as the nurses rush her away._

"_What's happening?" I ask panicked, my eyes not leaving her retreating form. "Where are they taking her?" _

"_They're just cleaning her up, baby," Edward assured me, kissing my knuckles. "It's okay. She's okay." _

"_Okay, one down, one more to go!" Dr. Reed says encouragingly._

"_I don't want to," I moan dejectedly. _

"_Come on, Bells, you're doing fantastic, don't give up now," says Tanya._

"_You need to get the next one out so you can hold your angels," Jess coos._

"_I'm not one hundred percent sure they're angels if they can cause this much pain," I mumble._

"_Your birth wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either, Bella," says Renee, chuckling lightly._

"_Neither was Edwards," adds Esme. "Just a few more pushes, honey, you can do it." _

_I close my eyes, gripping Edwards hand–which I'm pretty sure leaves marks from my nails digging in deeply, breaking the skin of the palm of his hand-and push. When I think I really can't do it anymore, I gather up all the energy I have left and push as hard as I can, screaming out in pain._

_I glance down to see Dr. Reed holding up a beautiful little baby. "It's a boy!" she declares cheerfully._

_I slump against the hospital bed's headboard, the high pitch cry of my son filling my ears. I glance up at Edward, his eyes filled with so much love and adoration as he stares at his son. I smile triumphantly, lightly squeezing his hand that's been entwined with mine this whole time. His eyes meet mine as i pull him closer to me. I reach out with my other hand, wiping away the joyful tears falling down his cheeks. I close my eyes as he leans forward, connecting his lips with mine in a passionate kiss._

"_You did so well, baby," he whispers, resting his forehead against mine. "I'm so proud of you." _

_I scoot over in the bed so Edward can sit beside me._

"_Here are your little devils," Dr. Reed jokes, walking over to us with my daughter wrapped up in a pink blanket. Jill following closely behind her, with my son wrapped up in blue. _

_Edward wraps his arm around my waist as Dr. Reed places my little girl in my arms, and Jill hands our son to Edward. I move the blanket away from her face to get a better look at her and tears pool up in my eyes. I lean forward, kissing her lightly on the forehead. _

"_She's so beautiful," I whisper, glancing up at Edward._

"_Just like her mother," he says, not taking his eyes off mine. _

_I break our gaze, glancing down at our little girl and boy, a grin forming on my face. "Hello, babies," I coo. "I'm your mommy." I lean forward, kissing them both on their foreheads._

_the familiar, husky clearing of someone's voice makes me look up to see Charlie. _"_I'm so proud of you, Bells," his voice is thick with emotion._

_I didn't even realise everybody had come into the room._

_I glance up at him, smiling appreciatively. _

"_I knew you had it in you," he says attentively._

"_I'm strong like my dad," I whisper._

_He smiles proudly at me before leaning down and kissing me on the temple and gazing at his grandchildren._

"_What are you going to name them?" Jess asks, snapping us out of the moment._

_I glance at Edward before looking back down at my girl. _

"_I think she looks like..." i trail off, pursing my lips as i think._

_"Olivia," says Edward._

_I look up at him, before looking back down at our little girl._ "_Yeah," I agree, smiling softly._

"_How does somebody look like a name?" Emmett quips, his mouth curving up into a smirk._

_Rose rolls her eyes, smacking Emmett on the back of his head._

_"Ow!" Emmett exclaims. "What was that for?"_

_"What's her middle name?" Rose asks, ignoring her husband._

"_Tess," I say quietly. "Jess and Tanya's names combined." _

_I glance at Jess and Tanya to gauge their reactions. Jess is silently bawling her eyes out, while Tanya is beaming at me. They both walk over and stand on the left side of the bed._

"_And what about the little man?" asks Jasper._

"_Dexter," I reply almost instantly._

"_You're giving your kid the name of a fictional serial killer?" Emmett asks through a chuckle._

"_Emmett," Rose growls, smacking him on the arm this time. _

"_Hey!" Emmett exclaims, rubbing his arm._

"_Well, shut it," she snaps._

"_Yeah," Edward agrees, his eyes filled with mirth. "Don't dis my son's name, you buffoon." _

"_I was just kiddin'!" Emmett chuckles, shaking his head._

"_And his middle name?" asks Carlisle, continuing the previous conversation._

"_Well, Bella tried combining both Jaspers and Emmett's names together," says Edward, amusement clear on his face. "But that didn't work out as well as Tanya and Jessica's combined." _

"_Oh god, I can just imagine," Rose mumbles._

"_Jemmet," snorts Tanya._

"_So, we went with Masen."_

_Esme gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. "For Elizabeth?" she all but whispers._

_"Yeah." says Edward, smiling tenderly at his Aunt._

_Carlisle makes his way over to us and embraces us both, kissing me on the cheek before pulling away. "That's incredibly thoughtful of you," he says, his voice trembling a little. _

___I smile softly, nodding my head, before __looking back to Jasper and Emmett._"So, instead of combing your names," I continue. 

_"We'd like you guys to be the Godfathers." Edward finishes._

"_Whoa, really?" asks Jasper._

"_Sweet!" Emmett hollers. _

"_Which means …" Edward trails off. He looks at me and I give him an encouraging nod of the head. "Alice and Rose?" he addresses them._

"_Yeah?" – "Mm?" they reply simultaneously._

"_Bella and I would like you two to be the Godmothers." _

"_What?" Rose asks shocked, as Alice squeals, _"_Really?" excitedly._

"_Of course," I respond, smiling fondly at them. _

_Alice rushes over to us and engulfs us both in a hug before kissing Olivia and Dexter on the foreheads. "I'd be honoured," she whispers, swiping tears off her cheeks._

"_Me too," says Rose, her voice shaking with emotion._

* * *

When we moved away, Edward and I also kept in contact with Riley and Vicki. Riley is now fifteen and is a sophomore at Forks High School. Vicki is twenty and studying her first year of Nursing at Princeton medical school. When we first moved away, we went back to Forks during the summer to visit them. We flew them out to California for our wedding and still sometimes fly Riley out here when he's on school holidays. When Vicki has time off from college, she comes out here to visit, too.

Demetri gives me a call every now and then and updates me on his life. He finished his bachelor degree in business and now owns his own hotel. He got married two years after Edward and I did to a lovely girl named Reneta. He still has a close relationship with both of his parents and they both get along fine and are still close to each other. Demetri and Reneta visit Edward and I sometimes and to see the kids. He's really fond of them and is always looking after them. I don't doubt that he's going to be an amazing father one day.

Tanya and Jessica moved to New York. We don't see them as much as we'd like, but they still come visit us and the kids. Tanya went back to college at Columbia to study business and she now owns her own combined coffee shop bookstore. Jessica also went to Columbia to study music. She teaches music in an elementary school.

Jasper stayed in Forks until Alice graduated high school–just like he said he would. They stayed in Forks for a while and got married before eventually moving to New York as well. Alice went to Columbia and studied Business with Tanya while Jasper went to Massachusetts to study Law at Harvard and is now the CEO of his own Law Firm. Alice became pregnant with their daughter, Summer, during her last year of college. She now runs her own event planning business.

Rosalie and Emmett moved to Connecticut to go to Yale. It was a sad day when they told us they were leaving. I was so upset and didn't want them to leave, but I knew it was the best thing for them to do. Emmett studied Mechanics and Engineering and now owns his own garage. Rosalie studied Psychology and Counselling, and is now a Child Psychologist. They got married the same year as Edward and I did. They started trying for a baby instantly but got some sad news that Rosalie couldn't become pregnant. So it was a surprise to hear that into their second year of marriage, Rosalie was pregnant with their miracle son, Liam.

We all get together during the holidays–especially Thanksgiving–to catch up with each other. The kids are all really close and enjoy spending time with each other.

* * *

When Edward stops tickling me he pulls me up into a seated position.

"Mommy, can we get some ice-cream?" Olivia asks cheerfully, pushing Edward out of the way so she can sit down in my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck and grins at me.

"Yeah, can we?" Dexter asks hopefully, sitting in Edward's lap.

"Of course we can," I reply, kissing Liv on the cheek and smiling affectionately at Dex.

I look at Edward, and smile lovingly at him. He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my cheek. I lean into his touch and close my eyes, sighing contently.

Edward wraps his arms around Dexter's waist, lifting him up as he scoots over until he's sitting right next to me. He wraps his arm around me and Liv, while I wrap my arms around Liv's waist. He leans forward, resting his forehead against mine, before kissing me softly.

"I love you so much, beautiful," he whispers against my lips.

I open my eyes, smiling tenderly at him. "I love you too."

* * *

_**Thank you all for all your support throughout this story! It's been a wonderful journey and i appreciate every single one of you, and your thoughts in the reviews you give me.**_

_****__**To try and make it up to you for being so fail, i have an outtake Beta'd and ready to edit, to be posted within the next few days! I don't want to make you promises of posting it on a specific day, and then breaking that promise. **_

_****__****__****__**I've got a few plot bunnies in the works, but they're locked away because i don't know which one to work on first. I just haven't had the time to really sit down and outline them properly.**_

_****__****__****__****__****__**If you'd like to know how i'm going with my other plot bunnies, or would like to know when i may post the outtake, just drop me a line on twitter - **__****__** natalayx**_

_****__**Please leave me a review with your thoughts! x**_


	46. Outtake - For the Love of A Daughter

**A/N: So, this is the outtake that I wrote to make it up to you guys for being so fail! It's based a year after the Epilogue, so Olivia and Dexter are five, nearly six. I hope you guys like this!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Outtake – For The Love Of A Daughter**

**BPOV**

Butterflies: the automatic sign for nerves.

They flutter around in the pit of my stomach, making me feel queasy and uneasy.

Today is the day of the reach out concert for Alcohol and Violence Abuse Awareness. It's being held at the Port Angeles Rehabilitation Centre where Charlie was living during my senior year.

Right after our family moment of clarity and declaration of feelings on the front porch of what used to be my childhood home, Renee drove him to the facility–while Edward and I followed–so he could check himself in.

Renee and I filled each other in on what we did with ourselves while we were apart. It was a very emotional road we went down, but it was encouraged by my therapist, Maria. I told her how I met Tanya when I moved to California and what I got up to while I was there: working at the diner, singing on Friday nights, trying to get by day by day, but I couldn't escape the loneliness without Edward being by my side–which lead to Tanya shipping my ass back to Forks and coming along with me.

So it's safe to say, when five years after i graduated from College, Renee found out about the reach-out concert the centre was holding, she let herself into the apartment I now lived in with Edward–just as the kettle I put on earlier reached boiling point–and threw herself into a chair at the dining table.

* * *

"_Where are Edward and the rugrats?" she asks as I make us a cup of tea._

"_Edward took them out," I reply, stirring a spoon around in the mug. "If I knew you were coming, I would have told him to be back by a certain time."_

"_Oh, it's fine." She waves her hand out in front of her, shrugging it off. "I'll see them later."_

"_How's everything back in Forks?" I ask, walking over to the table and handing over her cup. _

"_Thanks honey," she smiles tenderly, taking the cup from my hands before continuing. "It's good. Charlie sends his love."_

_I smile automatically at the mention of my father. _

_We've all come so far._

"_Bella, can I ask you something?" Her tone is hesitant, which intrigues me._

_I nod my head, __smiling encouragingly_. "Of course," 

"_Have you written any songs about the effects of what Charlie's behaviour had on you?" _

"_Whoa, abrupt change of topic, much." I say, a little bewildered, my eyes widening with shock. _

_Renee just laughs softly in response. "When I was in Forks, I called into the Port Angeles rehabilitation centre, and they're holding a reach-out concert. I thought maybe you could perform something?"_

"_Hmm," I drone, bringing my cup to my lips. "Maybe." I take a sip of my tea, quirking my brow at her as I wait for her to continue._

"_Well, I had a little talk to the committee organising everything and told them that mine and Charlie's beautiful daughter has an outstanding voice who writes her own song –"_

"_Wait, hold up," I cut her off, holding my palm up. "You volunteered me to perform without even asking me?"_

"_I'm asking you now," she concludes._

_I scoff, rolling my eyes. "Right."_

_Typical Renee._

"_I'm sorry, honey." Her eyes soften in apology as she reaches across the table and clasps my hand in hers. "I get a little carried away when I'm excited." _

"_I've noticed," I mumble against my ceramic cup._

_An amused smile tugs at the corner of her lips before she laughs lightly. "So, how about it?" she asks excitedly._

"_I don't know …" I murmur hesitantly._

_She squeezes my hand, her eyes not leaving mine. "Please?" she pleads. "Charlie would love to see you and the kids." _

_Oh, I see how it is: pulling out the Charlie card._

"_Won't it like, offend him?" I ask uneasily._

_Renee's brows furrow in confusion. "Of course not."_

_I chew on my bottom lip, scrunching up my nose as I mull it over. _

_Surely, it won't be that bad?_

_I let out a heavy sigh, slumping back in my seat. "I have a song."_

_Her eyes light up with glee and she leans forward. "Really?" she asks eagerly._

_I nod my head. "Yeah."_

_Renee bounces up and down in her chair, reminding me a little of Alice. _

_I laugh softly, shaking my head in amusement._

* * *

I wring my hands, cracking my knuckles as I roll my head around in a circle to stretch out the kinks in my neck. I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly while shaking my arms out in a movement that I'm sure looks like I'm trying to get something nasty off of my hands.

Edward wraps his arms around my waist. "You okay, baby?" he whispers next to my ear, resting his chin on my shoulder.

I lean into his chest, bringing my arms up to lay atop of his. I turn my head to the side slightly to look at him, our eyes locking immediately. He smiles tenderly at me and I return the gesture, nodding my head a little.

"Yeah," I sigh, looking back out into the crowd of people. "I think so."

Edward plants a feather light kiss against my neck. "What's got you troubled?" He pulls away and grips me by the shoulders softly, turning me around to face him.

The sincerity in his tone and in the expression on his face makes me smile. "I don't want to upset him." I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him tight and resting my cheek against his chest.

Edward pulls away, smiling sympathetically when i look up at him. He cups my face in his hands. "You won't."

"You've heard the song, Edward," I mumble, taking my bottom lip into my mouth. "It's pretty deep."

His brow furrows as he glances down at my mouth. "I have," he says, running his thumb along my lip. "And it is." He tugs on it, releasing it from its death grip between my teeth before meeting my gaze again. "But I think he'll be proud of you."

"I just don't want to set him back or anything," I murmur sadly. "Why did I let Renee talk me into this?" I groan, burying my face in his chest once again.

Edward wraps his arms around my shoulders, his body vibrating with laughter. "I'll be right there with you."

"Thank god," I mumble against his soft, blue button-up shirt.

"And you'll have the support of our little angels in the audience." He leans his head down to press his lips against my forehead.

"Are you two ready?" asks a soft, female voice from beside us.

I tilt my head to glance over at her. She's a pretty, young girl; looks about twenty. Bright red hair, piercing blue eyes with a genuine smile plastered on her face. She's wearing a black high-waist skirt and a white tank top with the words 'Be strong, have courage: reach out!' In bold, black letters across her chest. She must be one of the members of the backstage crew.

"You're up in a minute," she says, extending out her hand, holding a microphone.

I smile kindly at her. "Thanks," I say, pulling out of Edward's arms and taking the microphone from her.

"I heard your sound-check." Her eyes are lit up with excitement. "You sounded amazing."

"Oh," I respond, bewildered. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm Sarah by the way." She extends her hand courteously.

I take her hand in mine. "I'm Bella. This is my husband, Edward."

"Bella Swan?" she questions.

"Cullen now," Edward corrects politely.

Sarah shuffles her feet, biting her bottom lip-a nervous trait reminding me of myself. I wait patiently for her to scrounge up the courage to speak again. She looks up, her eyes meeting mine. "Your dad's road of recovery has been really good."

"You know Charlie?" I ask, smiling fondly.

"Yeah, I work here." She leans back against a spare speaker.

"Charlie isn't in rehab anymore, though." I say, confused.

"Oh, no," she says, blushing. "I check up on all the past patients to see how they're doing."

"That's nice," Edward says from beside me. I tilt my head backwards to look at him and he grants me with a kiss on the tip of my nose.

"You must be so proud of him," says Sarah, pulling Edward and I back to attention.

I smile genuinely. "I am."

"Okay, next up is the daughter and son in law, of one of our very own recovering patients." I tense at the announcement over the speakers. "Please give a warm welcome to Bella and Edward Cullen."

"Oh, shit," I murmur, taking a deep breath.

"Don't stress, you'll be great!" Sarah encourages, beaming brightly.

I exhale slowly as Edward places his hand on my lower back and ushers us out onto the stage. He kisses me on the cheek before taking his position at the piano, pulling me down next to him. I look out at the crowd to see Olivia and Dexter sitting with Charlie, Renee, Esme and Carlisle. My little angels smile brightly, waving vigorously at me. I laugh lightly at their enthusiasm and smile in return before glancing back at Edward.

"You ready?" he whispers.

"Let's do this," I whisper back, leaning my back against his left arm. Edward beams at me before breaking our gaze and looking back down at the piano.

Edward runs his hands across the keys, the haunting melody flowing throughout the room. I meet Charlie's gaze and mouth 'I love you' to him, before taking a deep breath and singing the first few lines of the song, my voice soft and quiet.

"_Your selfish hands, always expecting more,"_ I stand from the bench and walk towards the middle of the stage. _"Am I your child, or just a charity ward?" _

I close my eyes, resting my hand across my heart as I begin the chorus. _"You have a hollowed out heart but it's heavy in your chest, I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless. Hopeless, you're hopeless."_

"_Oh father, please father, I'd love to leave you alone but I can't let you go. Oh father, please father, put the bottle down, for the love of a daughter."_

I let my hand drop to my side, walking around the stage as I sing the second verse before heading back over to Edward and resting my right arm on his shoulder, watching him pour everything he has into the melody. I wrote this when I was in California after Tanya made me talk about Charlie. I was hurt and angry, but then I felt so lost and couldn't understand how he could treat me like that.

"_Oh-whoa, I can be manipulated , only so many times," _I cry out,_ "before even 'I love you' starts to sound like a lie."_

I belt out the chorus again, putting everything I can into the lyrics, a thousand memories of begging Charlie to stop drinking rushing back to me and flooding my mind. Charlie and I have come so far in repairing our relationship and I don't want anything to set that back. I hope to god that this doesn't cause him too much pain and he understands why I wrote this song. He has to know that I love him.

I leave Edward, keeping my eyes cast down to the ground as I sing out the bridge of the song, walking out into the middle of the stage again. This part is always the hardest.

"_Lied to your flesh and your blood/put your hands on the one that you swore you loved." _

I breathe deeply before belting out the lines again. _"Don't you remember I'm your baby girl, how could you throw me right out of your world? So young when the pain it begun, now forever afraid of being alone."_

As I continue to sing the chorus for the last time, I lift my head, meeting Charlie's gaze. I watch the tears stream down his cheeks while he clings onto Olivia, my eyes also welling up with tears as I sing the last line of the song.

"_For the love of a daughter."_

The next thing I know, Edward is by my side, his arms wrapping around my waist and tenderly kissing me on the cheek as the curtain is raised down in front of us, shielding us from the rest of the crowd. Olivia and Dexter are clinging to my legs, confused as to why I look so upset. As Edward murmurs softly in their ears and pulls them away from me, I look up and watch in slow motion as Charlie practically runs up the steps to the stage and staggers towards me.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispers before engulfing me in the tightest hug he's ever given me.

A sob wrecks through me as I wrap my arms around him and cling to him tightly. "That song is old, Charlie," I murmur against his chest. "I don't feel like that anymore, i swear." i pull away from him, looking into his eyes. "You know that I love you, right?"

"I love you too, baby girl," Charlie declares, his voice strained with sadness. "I'll never forgive myself for putting you through that."

"But you have too," I sniff unattractively, pulling out of the embrace. His expression is filled with heartache and confusion.

I smile tenderly at him in reassurance. "I've forgiven you, so you have to forgive yourself."

Charlie's eyes fill with tears as he takes my hand in his, pulling me into his arms again. "Thank you," he whispers, hugging me close, his hand tangled in the back of my hair, holding me to him tightly.

* * *

**Thank you all for everything, and sticking by me! I appreciate it so much! **

**If any of you have a request for an outtake that you'd like, let me know via a twitter, or just drop it in a review and i'll see what i can do!**

**Again, a HUMONGOUS thank you to __****__****kitchmill ********for Beta'ing this outtake and the Epi for me!**

**Twitter - natalayx**


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